Cedar lawn cemetery council bluffs

Company Name	Title	City
BigOTires	Automotive Service Technician	Clear Lake
BigOTires	Automotive Service Technician	Mason City
BigOTires	Car Mechanic	Mason City
Bayer	Veterans Preferred - Sr. Process Engineer	Muscatine
Bayer	Veterans Preferred - Process Engineer	Muscatine
Bayer	Manufacturing Process Designer	Muscatine
Bayer	Veterans Preferred - Sr. Process Engineer	West Liberty
Bayer	Veterans Preferred - Process Engineer	West Liberty
Indian Motorcycle	Polaris Assembler - Build Motorcycles	Burlington
Indian Motorcycle	Assembler	Burlington
Indian Motorcycle	Part Assembler	Burlington
Indian Motorcycle	Polaris Assembler - Build Motorcycles	Fort Madison
Indian Motorcycle	Assembler	Okoboji
Indian Motorcycle	Summer Assembler - Build Motorcycles!	Okoboji
Indian Motorcycle	Part Assembler	Okoboji
Indian Motorcycle	Summer Assembler - Build Motorcycles!	Sheldon
Indian Motorcycle	Summer Assembler - Build Motorcycles!	Sibley
Indian Motorcycle	Assembler	Sibley
Indian Motorcycle	Part Assembler	Sibley
Indian Motorcycle	Summer Assembler - Build Motorcycles!	Spencer
Biolife Plasma Services	Center Supervisor	Ames
Cargill	Utilities Technician	Clear Lake
Redhawk Dental Care	Dental Hygienist	Coralville
Aveanna Healthcare	Home Health Registered Nurse RN $3K Sign On Bonus Full Time	Council Bluffs
Curana Health	Nurse Practitioner or Physician Assistant	Creston

Hey guys, here are some recent job openings in ia. Feel free to comment here or send me a private message if you have any questions, I'm at the community's disposal! If you encounter any problems with any of these job openings please let me know that I will modify the table accordingly. Thanks!

We are in the US, western WA state. Our front lawn is a slope down to a road. It has one very large cedar tree, a holly tree about 7ft tall and growing, 4 smaller holly trees that have popped up each about 1ft high right now, a blackberry bramble, and the entire ground around this is covered in completely out of control ivy. All of this was already established when we moved in, except the smaller holly trees that popped up this spring.
The slope is enough we have to have something that will help hold soil in place. We were planning to pull all the ivy we can and seed with clover and native wildflower seeds. We're thinking if the Holly is going to continue spreading we should take it out as well, it doesn't seem to attract any insects or critters to it's berries and is very close to the neighbor's fence.
We don't know how long it would take for the clover and flowers to fill in and don't want the soil to slide onto the road and/or destabilize the cedar tree. Does anyone have an experience or insight into a good way for us to handle this transition?
We are thinking that at some point putting in a retaining wall and leveling that area might be best, but don't have the funds to do that right now and need to improve things until that can happen. Are there any downsides you know of to removing the holly or any better ideas for stabilizing this area without using such invasive plants?

[SELL] [US TO US] [PERFUME] [Bath & Body]New Possets and NAVA Added! Hi all! Selling samples that didn’t work out for me.
Shipping is $5 for perfume and I’ll quote for bath & body. Please don’t ghost, if you change your mind please just let me know!
Perfume
**Alpha Musk**
Hard Luck - Not notes: Slink - 3.00Lies & Lace - No notes: 5mL rollerball used 2x - 13.00
**BPAL**
Blood - A vital, bold scent, throbbing with sensuality. Essence of dragon's blood resin, thickened with myrrh and cherry, with a trickle of clove: Imp - 4.00
Bobbing for Ball Gags - Black leather, honeyed amber, and a bite of apple: Ajevie Slink - 5.00
Bobbing for Blood Kisses - Gleaming red apples sloshing through lush, creamy vanilla and the honey of the sweetest kiss smeared with the vital throb of husky clove, swollen red cherries, but darkened with the vampiric sensuality of vetiver, soporific poppy and blood red wine, and a skin-light pulse of feral musk: Ajevie Slink - 5.00
Burial - The dark side of Earth: deep, brooding forest scents, including juniper and patchouli. The scent of upturned cemetery loam mingling with floral offerings to the dead: Imp - 4.00
Calico Jack - Sea air, driftwood, waterlogged kelp, and the memory of plundered spices sprayed over worn leathers, rough musk, and the salty wooden floorboards of revenge: Imp - 4.00
Dead Leaves, Praline, & Sheer Vanilla - Dead leaves, praline, and sheer vanilla: Ajevie Slink - 5.00
Djinn - The scent of black smoke, of crackling flames, and smoldering ashes: Imp - 4.00
Elegba - Coconut, tobacco and sweet, sugared rum: BPAL Imp - 4.00
Every Sweet Thing - Honey-dripping plakous, rose petals, caramelized hazelnut, and goat's milk: Ajevie Slink - 3.00
Highest Quality Vagina - Golden amber and vanilla milk, sweet almond, honey, and soft incense: Ajevie Slink - 5.00
An Introduction to Illustrious Kabuki Actors - White sandalwood, vanilla bean, fig froth, and buttercream: Ajevie Slink - 5.00
Kiseru - Red sandalwood, vanilla husk, and tobacco smoke: Ajevie Slink - 5.00
Lawful - Rigid oak, blue chamomile, rhubarb, and fig leaf: Imp - 4.00
Luceat - Wispy cashmere musk, sweet amber, iris butter, heliotrope, and tolu balsam: Ajevie Slink - 5.00
A Medley of Vulvas - Bourbon vanilla, pink labdanum, pink pepper, honey, and Bushman's candle absolute: Ajevie Slink - 5.00
Night-Gaunt - The scent of their thick, rubbery hides is bittersweet, ticklish, and skin-creeping: something akin to yuzu, white grapefruit, and kumquat mixed with the snow-dusted flowers of Mount Ngranek: Imp - 4.00
Obatala - Obatala's ofrenda is soft, white, and pure: milk, coconut meat, shea butter and cool, refreshing water: Imp - 4.00
Oda a La Luz Encantada - Moroccan amber, sweet cream, lavender mist, Roman chamomile, golden musk, and pear blossoms: Ajevie Slink - 5.00
Othello - Arabian musk with two roses and a bevy of Middle Eastern and Indian spices: Imp - 4.00
The Small Brown Cat - Warm brown fur, cardamom-infused bourbon vanilla, and a touch of cedarwood: 5mL used 2x - 25.00
Santa Doesn't Need Your Help - Sugar plum, lavender, marshmallows: Ajevie Slink - 5.00
In Silvery Accents, Whispering Low - Cardamom-infused coffee bean, myrrh smoke, vanilla bean, fir needle, and warm, velvet spices: Ajevie Slink - 5.00
Snow White Rider - White leather, vanilla ice, and frosted sandalwood: Ajevie Slink - 5.00
Still Life With Dooting Skull - Bourbon vanilla with wildflower honey, licorice root, coconut milk, and nutmeg: Ajevie Slink - 5.00
Tavern of Hell - White gardenia, ambergris bouquet, lavender fougere, orange blossom, melissa, tobacco flower, coriander, ebony wood, ylang ylang, absinthe and aged whiskey: Imp - 4.00
Tiefling Therapist - A soothing, centering blend of white and red sandalwood, champaca attar, frankincense, and brimstone: Imp - 4.00
This More Than Bloody Deed - Wildflower honey, bourbon vanilla, and lush red labdanum: Ajevie Slink - 5.00
And I Wede My Corne Well I-Now - The scent of the hay harvest suffused with golden amber sunbeams, green cardamom, a handful of hazelnuts, and a bit of clove husk - 5.00Unarmed and Laughing - Sugared vanilla amber with a pop of champagne grape: Ajevie Slink - 5.00
Velvet Snow - Frosted sandalwood, vanilla slush, cacao, and myrrh: Ajevie Slink - 5.00
Young Corn - Corn Husks and upturned soil, haystacks and spicy late summer breezes: Ajevie Slink - 5.00
Young Pilgrim Girl - Black silk and crisp line, polished abalone, wildflower honey, jasmine milk, and rose-touched sweet cream: Ajevie Slink - 5.00
Wicked - A sophisticated, womanly scent: rich myrrh and jasmine draped in the subtlest rose: Imp - 4.00
**Damask Haus**
Damasco - A sultry fusion of spice and sweet, this scent features sweet spiced amardine, warm spicy cardamom, balsamic-spicy elemi, dark creamy vanilla custard balanced by a whisper of grounding patchouli: 2mL roller - 6.50
Fairy Dust - Fairies are not the cute little tinker bells as they are often depicted. Their magic is powerful and fluid with their emotional states. A festive fairy's dust can lull you into bliss whereas a foul mooded fae can dust your ass into utter chaos. Thank god you brought her an offering.. Notes: midnight air in the fae realm where sandalwood trees bloom spun sugar puffs, a wreath of subtle jasmine and sweets sets atop an old stump adorned with a cotton tablecloth that sways in the wind as an offering: 2mL - 6.50
La Petite Mort au Chocolat - Rich cocoa absolute unites simple creamy vanilla and the complex (tobacco vanilla almond) gourmand essence of tonka with a slide of silk across hard aromatic cedar, warm moss, and resinous honey-rich wood amber: 2mL roller - 6.50
Lavender Lace - Lavender, honey, sugar crusted lilacs, vetiver: 2mL roller - 6.50
Pumpkin Monkey - A combination of two comfort food desserts! Who doesn't love pulling apart monkey bread, sticky and sweet? Add pumpkin and it's just too much to resist, at least for us! Notes: pumpkin puree, fresh baked sweetbread, sticky sweet syrup icing, pinch of cinnamon and spices: 2mL roller - 6.50
**Haus of Gloi**
Plotter's Breakfast - Oaty porridge, stove smoke, kindling wood, a hint of gunpowder and pinch of sweet pipe tobacco: Slink - 2.00
Winter Divinity - Sugary white vanilla divinity with a surprising jolt of peppermint: Slink - 1.00
**Imaginary Authors**
The Cobra and the Canary - Lemon, orris, tobacco flowers, leather, hay fields, asphalt: 2mL sprayer used 4x - 3.50
**Moonalisa**
Moonlight Tuberose - No notes - 2.00
**Nocturne Alchemy**
Be My Valentine '23 - Toasted coconut, coconut cake accord, warm caramel accord, Bastet's Ice Cream, caramelized cinnamon accord, and vanilla creme: Crypta Slink - 6.00
Bois de Santal Rouge Vanille - NA Red Sandalwood (nine sandalwood blend) Bastet's Musk absolute, vanilla bean cordial, Bourbon accord infused with Madagascar vanilla beans, Ugandan vanilla bean essence, Moonstone Vanilla absolute (Studio Limited), Bourbon Vanilla absolute (SL), brown sugar and Tahitian Vanilla creme: CO Slink - 7.00
C.C. Caramel Apple Chai Marshmallow Musk - Cotton candy accord, caramelized apple skin, caramel apple accord, vanilla bean, toasted mallow root essential oil and accord, chai black tea (spices of cardamom, star anise, ginger, nutmeg, clove, Cinnamon), Bastet's ice cream confection and aged Bastet's Musk: Crypta Slink - 5.50
C.C Pumpkin Spice Marshmallow Musk - Cotton candy accord, vanilla bean, mallow root, pumpkin puree accord, pumpkin spices of nutmeg, butter-cinnamon and blended into Bastet's Musk: white floral blends of tuberose, mallow, angelica, musk flower, and white lily: Crypta Slink - 5.50
Cotton Candy Vanilla Marshmallow Musk - Crystalline absolute, vanilla bean liquer, Bastet's Musk, marshmallow creme, vanilla, mallow root, vanilla cotton candy accord: CO Slink - 6.00
Crystalline #4 - French lavender, Tahitian lavender, Pink Lily of the Valley enfleurage, pink sugar accord, Kashmir Red Musk absolute Studio Limited, Bastet's Amber, and Crystalline (Studio Limited): 7.75
Crystalline #9 - Vanilla incense accord, myrrh incense, vanilla pod, white cardamom essence, white amber, myrrh wood, Amber accord, sandalwood, and Crystalline (SL): CO Slink - 7.75
Eclipse Alnaeim - Pink vanilla accord, labdanum and pink patchouli accord, eNVie saphir, tonka bean, Moonstone Vanilla absolute (Studio Limited), amber (ozymandias) absolute and vanilla bean husk: Crypta Slink - 7.50
Eclipse Rakkaus - Tonka bean, Kashmir red musk absolute (Studio Limited), black patchouli, baked sugar cookie accord, brown sugar, Bastet's Amber absolute, Moonstone vanilla absolute (Studio Limited), and butter cream frosting essence: Crypta Slink - 7.50
Eclipse Tesoro - Sweet tobacco, pink peppercorn, orange blossom honey accord, Bourbon Vanille absolute, Kobalt Vanilla, Labdanum, and Madagascar Vanilla: CO Slink - 8.00
Encens Bois - Japanese cedar incense accord, Atlas cedar absolute, santalum absolute, Japanese hinoki wood incense, Roman frankincense, frankincense resin tears, and musk: Crypta Slink - 6.50
Encens Vanille - Vanilla bean cordial, labdanum resin, benzoin resin, incense accord, Arabian myrrh wood, Moonstone absolute (Studio Limited), and black vanilla bean infused Ponderosa pine: Crypta Slink - 6.50
Googly Cat - Candied peppermint accord, Egyptian sugar, dark chocolate accord, cacao absolute, Bastet's Musk enhanced with cacao and chocolate accords, and Crystalline Vanilla absolute (Studio Limited): Crypta Slink - 6.00
Halloween 2016 Anubis - Burning patchouli, incense and black honey beneath the darkening skyline. A touch of bergamot and grapefruit essential oil: 2mL - 8.50
Halloween 2022 - Caramel apple accord, green apple skin, marshmallows on an open flame, sweet vanilla caramel, Bastet's Ice Cream absolute accord, light pumpkin spices of nutmeg, white cinnamon and a light firewood and ember rounded out with vanilla bean extracts: Ajevie Slink - 5.50
Llama Llama 2 - Bourbon vanilla absolute (Studio Limited), vanilla bean liqueur, cream soda accord, caramelized patchouli essence and Bastet's Ice Cream: Crypta Slink - 6.00
Sorry I am a Monster - Cinnamon sugar, fried vanilla pastry with powdered sugar accord, sugar, mallow root, toasted marshmallow accord, Bourbon Vanille absolute (Studio Limited) and musk: Crypta Slink - 6.00
Neon Wolf - Vegan leather accord, Studio Limited santalum absolute, vanilla bean, Russian pine with vanilla laced pine needles and Canadian red pine - Crypta Slink - 4.00
V2023 - Pink sugar cube accord, vanilla bean cordial, caramelized brown sugar, caramel butter white chocolate accord, limestone amber, lemon cotton candy accord, and Bastet's Musk - CO Slink - 6.00
Zeus Vanilla Pound Cake - Vanilla, pound cake accord, vanilla bean, vanilla pod, vanilla icing, Bastet's Musk, and creamed (vegan) butter accord: CO Slink - 6.75
**Poesie**
Bijou - Ruby red grapefruit, cardamom, a gin-inspired blend of botanicals including cucumber, rose, juniper, lemon + orange peel, coriander, caraway, pink + black peppercorns, angelica + orris root: 1.15mL - 3.50
Sleepy Ghost - Marshmallow pillows sprinkled with natural lavender essential oil and absolute for sweet dreams: 1.15mL with damaged label - 3.00
Sucre Vanilla - Sparkling white sugar laced with vanilla bean: 2mL with dip - 6.00
Spellbound and Snug - Fizzy cream soda, butterscotch ribbons, marshmallow whipped cream, rosewood desks and squashy armchairs, a cheerful fire: 2mL and 1.15mL with damaged label - 6.50 or 3.00
**Possets**
The Arrow of Love - Sandalwood, sweet oude, golden amber, a touch of mint leaves: Ajevie Slink - 3.00
Bolero - Lilac and crystal musk. Floral but very modern: Slink with label taped - 2.00
Cupid and Psyche - Sweet black and Mexican vanilla dance with patchouli on a bed of incense: Ajevie Slink - 3.00
Guinevere - Crystalline and yet warming, sandalwood is the precious main component of the blend: Ajevie Slink - 3.00
Henry VIII and Jane Seymour - Red musk, hawthorne, golden honey, fine fat vanilla, and sweetest amber: Ajevie Slink - 3.00
Judith - Dark Haitian vetiver, cardamom, 'white' sandalwood, tears of frankincense, a very light waft of Madagascar vanilla and a goodly portion of rosewood: Ajevie Slink - 3.00
Min Min - Sandalwoods, three of them, combined with the rich enticing scent of leather, a strong and classic patchouli rounds out the central trio. However, there manages to be a soft center to the group, thanks to a slight infusion of rose (and it is not a strong rose scent but one which blended into the mix to be a sent "emollient" to the mix. Resinous, spicy, leathery, assertive: Slink with label taped - 2.00
Perpetual Motion Heart - An infusion of luan wood extract, a small amount of copra, dry vanilla liquor, a white agar note, and hellebore: Ajevie Slink - 3.00
Plenary Indulgence - Strong and sweet, the ineffable scent of lilacs combined with a whiff of smoke, knit together with a shot of resin: Slink with handwritten label - 1.00
Ready to Wear Pink Corset - Musk, vanilla bean liquor, a slight tang of steel, and a mist of pink lily: Ajevie Slink - 3.00
Reason - Five vanillas and three toffees and a big glop of butter and cream on it all: 6mL used 5x - 17.00
Riding St. George - A very nice bit of leather bounces off a bouquet of black vanilla, iris, and chypre: Ajevie Slink - 3.00
Salome - Black and African myrrh, frankincense, cedar, ivory musk, green coffee pulp extract, and a very light misting of black Mexican vanilla: Ajevie Slink - 3.00
Silver Leather - Possets' silver base meets up with strong leather and the two live happily ever after: Ajevie Slink - 4.00
Zombie - You really need a big dose of toasted marshmallow and oude, a bit of burnt stick, and the unmistakable fragrance of the crisp autumn air. Resinous and goody at the same time. Smoky sticky fun: Slink with label taped - 2.00
**Pylies**
Is It Fall Yet? - Pumpkin incense, stale gingerbread, a drop of honey: Pylie Slink - 2.50
**Sorcellarie Apothecary**
Frostbitten - Juniper leaf, douglas fir, fir balsam absolute, white amber, golden amber, cardamom, Himalayan cedar, sandalwood, caramelized sugar, and a hint of maraschino cherry: 1ml sample: 3.50
**Solstice Scents**
Black Leather, Red Lace - Amber, vanilla, & leather: Slink RIS - 2.00
Loggia - Mahogany, amber, musk, vanilla bean, all-spice, cardamom, black pepper, cognac, & sandalwood: Slink x2 - 3.00
**Sugar and Spite**
Bugs n Hisses - Candied apple, coconut shreds, Egyptian and white musks, red currant, vanilla and cashmere: Slink (label is damaged but readable) - 2.00
**Whisper Sisters**
Ghosts of Christmas Past - No notes. 10.00

Yay, new chapter is (finally) out! Only took a damn month. Why must May be so busy? At least I've managed to get chapter 9 mostly done as well, so that will be locked and loaded soon. Then I'm hoping to pick up the pace a bit.
Anyways, in this chapter both the snow wolves and Tostig plan their next moves, and the decisions made will affect the Ulstads.
As always, this story can be read up to the current chapter in both fanfiction and AO3 if you'd prefer those sites to reading all the text on reddit.
Fanfiction: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/14198757/8/Land-of-the-North-Wind
AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/45067345/chapters/119955676
Banishment
Tostig looked out at this city under siege. Part of him felt for his people, but at the same time they could not be allowed to bow to wolves. He would not bow to wolves and their demands. They were lesser, and they were rivals who were only useful for labor and trade in times of peace. And yet, the situation they were in now was not sustainable and everyone knew it. Just then, the door to his chamber was opened and his lead counselor, his right hand, stepped into the room.
“You wished to see me, my lord?”
Tostig took a sip from his wine chalice before turning away from his window and walking over to his desk with slow, deliberate steps. Upon locking eyes with his trusted advisor, the lord gave a small smile.
“Yes. I was hoping you’d have an inventory of our supplies ready to discuss.”
The counselor stepped forward, producing a stack of documents that had been written up by scribes. “Of course, my lord. Here are the inventory lists on the items you requested. Firewood, coal, wine, ale, spirits, bread, and meat are all right here.”
The counselor then placed the lists in his lord’s outstretched hands.
Tostig then got to the point of their meeting, “but all of these lists are to answer a single question. Do we have enough supplies to make it until spring?”
His counselor lowered his head and shook it slowly, “No sir. We’ll be out two months before the first ships can make safe harbor at the coast.”
Tostig sighed. “Then it’ll have to be done.”
“Are you sure, my Lord?”
“What choice do I have? We tried leaving, we tried getting necessary supplies, and even rations won’t carry us through the entire winter.”
“Those poor souls…”
“The keidran, overall, are tough beasts. And if you ask me, some of them played a hand in this whole mess, I just know it.”
“In what way could they be responsible, sir?” The counselor asked, confused.
“You really think every keidran in this town wants to be serving humans in some way or another? Their brethren are outside the walls, likely promising them a place of refuge for themselves and their slave relatives back east if they help the snow wolves kick us out.”
“That seems unlikely, my Lord.”
“Even if I’m wrong about their loyalties, the fact is keidran are more disposable than men. I can do without all these extra servants and menial laborers, but I’m going to need my miners and loggers when the snow clears, and the crown sends the best troops in Mekkan to our aid.”
“Your will is my command, sir. I’ll have Gerrick gather all his guardsmen in the great hall this evening. We’ll need every able-bodied member of the garrison.”
“Very good. Also, please send for the healer. These headaches… that medicine hasn’t been working.”
“Of course, my lord. Right away.”
The sun was setting on another day of the town under siege. The wolves had not made any moves to attack the walls, but why would they? They controlled the land and sea for hundreds of miles in every direction. A counsel of the elders was called in the camp overlooking the settlement. In the middle of the camp was a large, portable lodge made from thick timbers cut in the Snowy Pines. The frame was bound tightly by many hides, proving insulation and blocking the fierce winds that would often sweep across the tundra. Normally, settlements were permanent, but some wolves that had ventured into human territory took notes on how their rivals conducted war, and moveable houses were the answer to navigating across harsh country that was so brutal even the ever-adaptable humans had yet to conquer.
Outside the lodge entrance waited a tall, young snow wolf. Icy-white hair was bound tightly into a knot under a hat of seal fur. Extra layers of fur helped to protect the wolf from the elements, as even in winter the temperatures were colder than any canine could safely withstand. Blue eyes pierced through the growing darkness, a slight glow from his mana crystal necklace giving his face some soft illumination. He was waiting, watching for someone. Others came into the lodge one and two at a time. After a while, the young wolf was beginning to worry. “Where could he be?” The thought.
Just then a lone figure hobbled into view. A snow wolf much like him seemed to materialize out of the blowing snow that cut the visibility down significantly. Now only the glow of Callow could be seen in the distance. The old wolf, walking with a cane, finally found his way to the entrance.
“Grandfather, I was getting worried about you. You know I could help you up the hill, right?”
“Oh, don’t trouble yourself Bjorn. I might be almost as old as the wood holding that lodge together, but I can still find my way around camp. Now, let’s get inside, shall we?”
“Of course grandpa…” Bjorn then held the entrance to the lodge open so his frail kin could make his way inside where it was warm.
Following his grandfather inside, Bjorn was hit immediately with the warmth of a fire, fueled by wood brought in from the forest by sled, most of it cut down courtesy of the logging teams they had chased out a month earlier. The glow from his mana crystals was quickly overtaken by the bright, orange light of the fire. The young wolf removed most of his outer garments, placing them on the ground to use as a seat. He sat down behind where his grandfather had made himself comfortable. As an elder, the old wolf held one of the seats in the clans moot, the council of elders that had assembled to deal with the human problem.
All inside the lodge waited silently as their shaman conjured magical light structures from her crystal necklace in a ceremony to purify the air. The lights were dazzling. Bjorn’s favorite was seeing a replication of the night sky, a spell which was meticulously maintained through the generations showing each visible star as well as the moon. Another spell finished the ceremony, seemingly purging the air from the lodge, the fire reducing to embers, only to roar back to life as new, fresh air came in to fill the vacuum. It was then that the shaman gave a special blessing and prayer to each of the council members before taking her seat in the back as an observer. The five wolves then allowed for a silent pause to pass over all in attendance before beginning.
The designated leader of the council, tasked with mediating the clans moot, broke the silence, “my friends, our actions this winter may ensure the survival of our people and way of life, but one misstep and we will surely suffer greatly for our actions against the humans.”
A graying elder from the clan west of Widow Lake then saw fit to add in his thoughts. “Indeed, Bragi, but I believe our actions so far have been successful. The humans and their keidran servants have been completely cut off from their homeland and their king. No one will be able to help them until the snow leaves.”
Frey, the elder representing the clan at the split between the Widow and Pines rivers then spoke, “My warriors were successful in destroying any attempts by the humans to reach the sea. I’ve seen some of the bodies from their first attempt, and I believe that many of their most capable are dead. We ought to press an attack while we still have an advantage in the snow.”
Garth, Bjorn’s grandfather, and widely held to be one of the wisest elders in the North, urged caution. “It is true, Frey, that your warriors have slain many humans who could defend the walls, but many more are still inside. We’ve all seen the patrols along the top of the wall. Besides that, your warriors let one boat get away in the humans’ first attempt to summon help, didn’t they?”
Frey was forced to admit the mistake. “You are right, Garth, one did manage to slip away in the night. My warriors say they followed a light they thought was a lantern from the boat, but it was something else. It was alive, but they could not get a good look at it, and the light they followed led them into a sand bank. But a large storm hit shortly after. Surely, none survived.”
Garth had a different thought. “I would not so easily discredit these humans. Sure, they lack our fur, but they are adaptable creatures. I’ve seen with my own eyes the mines they’ve built. If they can bring the heart of Mekkan to the surface, their best may be able to survive winter.”
Bragi, always one to listen to a wolf with so much experience, wanted to know how this would affect their plans. “Garth, do you think the humans would bring reinforcements?”
“Assuming they survived, it could happen.”
Frey wasn’t as convinced. “Even if that one crew did manage to make it to the coast, it would still be months before the humans could bring an army to our shores. But that is all the more reason to find a way into the city.”
The last wolf in the council had been silent up until then. He was the youngest, though his offspring were still well into adulthood. He had earned a reputation as one of the best strategists among the snow wolves, having to regularly repel attempts by the forest wolves to gain more territory along the southern border. “An attack on the walls would be a failure. One does not kill a bear by fighting it on its terms. To kill a bear, one must outsmart it, and force the creature to fight in a way it is not used to.”
“So we should do nothing then?” Frey surmised, but the younger wolf shook his head.
“No, the wall is a bear. If we simply run up to it, our warriors will all die. But if we can find a weakness or fight the humans in a way they are not used to, then we will have the advantage.”
Garth then added is trademark advice of caution. “Though we must be patient, my friends. There will be an opportunity before spring arrives. As the weather gets colder and the snow gets deeper, our advantages will grow.”
Bragi then came to a possible plan of action. “I know Tostig. Once desperate enough, he will want an open battle where his trained guards can win, even in the snow. It would be too great of a risk to meet him in such a battle, but we could bait him to it.”
The wolf from Widow Lake then had an idea of his own. “My warriors could conduct raids on the humans’ stashes of firewood and supplies. There are some close enough to the walls that they can be reached. Once the humans start getting cold, they will be forced to either submit or do battle.”
Bragi nodded in agreement. “Do we have a plan then?”
All nodded and prepared to cast their vote when a shout from outside the lodge alerted the gathered snow wolves. A guard rushed in to deliver the news. The Shaman stood up upon this intrusion. “A clans moot is a sacred gathering, outsiders are not permitted unless invited. Child, why have you trespassed?”
The guard was gasping for air after running for a couple of miles to the main camp. “Apologies… humans… outside the wall.”
Perhaps the battle was coming after all? Bragi then stood. “Garth, have your grandson take your best warriors to trap these humans. This may be the beginning of the very battle Tostig would try to arrange.”
Garth then looked behind him at his nephew and nodded. “Go, Bjorn, I’ll find my way back. Be safe.”
Garth bowed his head slightly in respect of the others. “Thank you all for permitting me to the clans moot. I will track down and subdue these humans before they can cause trouble.”
With a wave of Bragi’s hand, Garth then exited the lodge with the guard and ran toward the main camp to find as many warriors as he could at a moment’s notice.
The Ulstads were preparing a dinner of rations in the empty tavern when a knock came from the front door. Anna Marie, who was closest, stopped sweeping to open the door. She was surprised by the evening visitor. “Sam, whatchya doin’ here at such an hour? We’re ya joinin’ fer dinner?”
Sam didn’t answer as he came into the foyer, but the look on his face told everyone that something was wrong. Liz stood up and quickly made her way to Sam, with Shadow and Asher close behind. Ivan leaned his head out from the kitchen. Liz took Sam’s hand in hers and looked him in the eyes. “Sam, what is it? News from Connor?”
Sam just shook his head. “I’m sorry Liz, I wish it was.”
Shadow then asked in a more direct voice. “Then what is it? You look pale.”
“It’s Tostig. He’s… well, he’s given the guard an order.”
“Come on, Sam, out with it?” Shadow said, worry seeping into her words. Sam took a deep breath to collect himself. They needed to know.
“Tostig has ordered every non-human in Callow… he’s banished them from the town.”
A thick, baritone voice boomed from the kitchen. “What?” A look of horror came across Asher’s face. Shadow too was shocked.
“Like Ivan said, ‘what?’” The leopard could hardly believe what she had heard.
“Liz, Miss Marie, you are both allowed to stay. But guards are going door to door right now and rounding up all the keidran. Shadow and Asher, you had better collect what you can before they arrive. I’ll escort you both personally so that neither of you have a hand laid on you.”
Anna wouldn’t have it. “They’s just as much people as us, Sam. Shadow, you and the boy should hide in the cellar. Ivan, get the darn hammer.”
“No Anna.” Shadow replied, letting it sink in. “We can’t just hide in the tavern all winter. Besides, what happens when you get caught?”
Sam had the unfortunate answer to that one. “Tostig has also ordered that anyone caught hiding keidran will be burned at the stake.”
That caused Anna and Liz to recoil at the thought of their own fate. It was more than enough for Shadow to make up her mind. “Come on Asher, we had better put on whatever clothes we can before— “just then, another knock came from the door, this one far more stern than before.
“Shit, they’re here already. I thought there’d be more time. Shadow, you can Asher meet Ivan in the back, I’ll get you three to the eastern gate.” Sam said before going to answer the door with Anna Marie. Asher didn’t quite understand all that was happening. He knew human well enough now, but things were progressing quickly for a seven-year-old. But Shadow quickly grabbed his hand and led them both into the room with Liz close behind. Once inside the room, Liz, locked the door to buy them at least a few more seconds.
Shadow, having been trained by assassins in the guild, wasn’t terribly concerned for herself. But being forced to leave Liz? She hoped that Anna Marie would keep the girl safe. Asher though was in trouble if they were being forced into the tundra. Her first thought then was to make sure the boy had as many warm clothes on as she could find.
“Here Asher, put this on, quickly.”
“I don’t want to leave, Shadow!”
“I don’t either, but we don’t have a choice. Sooner or later we’d be caught and thrown outside the walls anyway. Now bundle up as best you can be—”
Loud knocking came from the bedroom wall. “We know there are keidran in here! Open the door and come with us.”
Liz went up to the door to buy as much time as she could. “Just a minute!”
“Open it now woman!” Was the reply, but that was closely followed by Sam’s voice. “Hey, I’m highest rank here and I happen to know the two you’re after. Let me handle this and you two should continue down the stre—”
“Not a chance Sam, we’ve got orders from your father.”
“Then at least go get Ivan. Shadow and Asher aren’t going to put up a fight.”
Two more guards could be heard struggling to push the big wolf out into the street, and the intensity of the struggle caused the two guards standing near the room door to reconsider pushing their luck with someone who outranks them.
“Very well, they’ve got two minutes. If they aren’t out by then, we’re going to break the door down.”
Sam then moved to the side to let the two guards pass by.
Liz’s muffled voice came from behind the door “Are they gone?”
“Yeah, for the moment.”
A minute later, the door’s latch was undone, and it creaked open. Shadow and Asher had their wool jumpers on, along with whatever clothes they could find. Shadow was even wearing a pair of Connor’s pants. They were a bit tight but provided some extra insulation. Liz then followed the two, closing the door behind them.
“Why is this happening, Sam?” Liz asked.
“Apparently, we don’t have enough supplies to last the winter. So either everyone starves…”
“…Or the keidran freeze to death.” Shadow finished for Sam.
“Basically, yes. But you don’t have to freeze to death, there’s shelter that you can use, as well as food stores.”
“Where?” Shadow interrogated. Asher’s life as well as her own was on the line.”
“You’ll have to slip passed the wolves, but there are food stores and shelters in the new mining district across the river. It’s on the other side of Ditter’s Ridge.”
“Wolves?!” Shadow exclaimed. “How am I and the kid going to slip passed an army of wolves? They’d see us miles away!”
“I don’t know. I suggest hiding until the wind kicks up, the blowing snow will provide you with cover.”
The three stressed faces, Shadow’s looking like she was ready to murder, all stared at Sam.
“Look, this is a bad situation. I wish there was more I could do, but there isn’t. Tostig is Jarl, and his word is the law. If he says you must go, then you must go. If you try to stay, he could have us all executed.”
“Would your father allow that?”
“Tostig would execute my father too if that’s what it took to keep order in this town. I’m sorry, I really am, but—”
“But you’re doing whatever you can…” Liz grabbed and held Sam’s hand. “Is there a path or a tunnel or something that they can use to get around the wolves?”
“No, there isn’t. Look, you’ll have to move as quickly as you can. I’ll send help as soon as I’m able to, but right now this is your best chance of surviving.”
“Fine…” Shadow said, defeated and out of options. “Come on Asher, we had better go.”
The boy had other ideas “I don’t want to leave Liz! I want to wait here for Connor!”
“Connor…” Shadow thought. She tried to put it past her mind, but Liz knelt down in front of the boy.
“Asher, Connor isn’t coming back.” She said, tears forming in her eyes. “It’s been a month, and as much as I wish he’d bust into the tavern right now like he did with both of you back in the spring, it’s not going to happen. You need to leave with Shadow, she’ll keep you safe.”
“What about you?” Asher said, sniffling.
“I’ve got Anna Marie and Sam here to help. But you can’t stay here or Tostig would—”
“Kill us…” Asher said.
“I know we aren’t the closest, but Connor called you his brother, so I do too. Go, while you still can.” She then stood up. Before she could say anything else, Shadow embraced the girl.
“I’m sorry that I won’t be there to keep you safe.” Shadow said.
“It’s okay. But if you two stick together, we’ll all look back at this like a bad memory.”
“One of many bad memories.”
Sam knew time was up. “We better leave before those two assholes return. I’ll show you out a side entrance.”
Shadow and Liz let go of each other, and Shadow grabbed Asher’s hand before they both fled into the back alley behind Sam. The winding pathways between buildings eventually led them to a small door near the east gate. Shadow could see around the side of a building all the keidran being pushed out through the main gate. After looking around to make sure no one was watching, Sam produced a key, which began to glow as he recited an incantation. A hidden door nested into the wall glowed around the seal before opening, revealing a short tunnel to the outside.
“It’s one of the many emergency doorways out of the town. Only the guards have access, and most don’t know about them.”
Shadow, though impressed by the trickery, was hardly thrilled to be forced out of the walls. “If Connor ever comes back…”
“I hope he does, but for right now, you’re better off outside than inside.” Sam finished for Shadow, gesturing outside the wall.”
“Make sure nothing happens to Liz. Or I’ll find my way back,” Shadow lifted Sam off his feet and pinned him to the wall, “and burn this town to the ground with you in it.”
“I’ll protect her with my life if I must. You have my word. Now please, get out of here before someone sees me helping you.”
Shadow dropped Sam back to his feet, took Asher’s hand, and ducked through the hole in the wall. Once through, Sam closed the magic door with his key before slipping through an alley and joining the rest of the guards. Young ones were crying, old ones were being forcefully pushed, and at least one who tried to resist was savagely beaten. The guard was there to maintain order no matter the cost. After several minutes and much effort, the last keidran was shoved past the threshold. As the iron gate lowered from the ceiling, a couple of keidran made an attempt to get back into the town. But just as they were about to get through the inner gate, out of the crowd came several guards with crossbows. Without hesitation, their lieutenant gave the order to fire. In front of both humans and keidran, all those who tried to get through were cut down and left to die in the zwinger between the two gates. Their intentions made clear, the remaining keidran quickly fled from the walls just as guards took their positions along the walkway at the top.
Shadow couldn’t see what happened, but she could certainly hear it. Keeping Asher close, she used her skills at stealth to skirt along the bottom of the wall undetected. Asher at one point tried to say something but she quickly hushed him before continuing. Finding and avenue out in a blind spot from the guards, Shadow quickly moved past the ground torches could illuminate, finding safety in the darkness. Luckily, it was a clear night and Shadow could easily make out where the keidran had stopped. They looked to be in the process of scattering as keidran tended to do. They weren’t a clan or a tribe, instead they were in groups of individuals who knew each other. Shadow a year ago would have left them all to their fate, content to find the shelter she was informed of and waiting until spring. But now… now she could see scared children, elderly who wouldn’t make it two days in the winter snow, and many who were scared and confused, all in need of help.
“What are we going to do?” Asher asked, clutching onto her leg and looking up to her for guidance. He too was quite scared.
Shadow sighed, collecting herself. “We’re going to help them, Asher, and we’re going to survive.”
Just as the keidran were about to venture off in every direction imaginable, Shadow climbed up onto a rock and, illuminated by the moon, called for everyone’s attention. No one really seemed to care, at least until a loud, baritone voice cut through the air. Shadow looked to her side only to find a beaten and bloody Ivan standing near the rock, apparently having seen the pair in the cold. At once, everyone looked back toward the three figures next to and on top of the large glacial boulder.
“Good. Now everyone listen up! I’ve been told that there are stores of food and supplies as well as shelter across the river to the East. If we move now, we can be there by dawn, but we have to stick together, or we’ll all die.”
While some seemed ready to go, others weren’t sure. Arguing began between different individuals. Some wanted to make for the Snowy Pines, mostly the wolves. A few wanted to try and get over the mountain pass and into warmer country. Still others were talking about forcing their way back into Callow. None were, realistically, good options. But before consensus could be reached, or a complete breakdown in the large group of at least four hundred keidran, snow wolves approached from all sides, weapons at the ready. Out from the darkness emerged a big wolf, nearly as big as Ivan, wearing polar bear fur and brandishing a long spear.
Keidran tried to run but were quickly cut off. The group of exiles was completely encircled by several hundred strong warriors from the different clans. Bjorn then noticed something odd in the moonlight. Between all the people that they captured, only a handful had anything more than a knife. Certainly no weapons of war, and plenty were half-naked and freezing.
“Where are your weapons?”
“What do you mean?” A tigress asked. “We have none.”
“Then what is this? Are you all trying to run away or something? You’ll freeze out here.” Bjorn bellowed. A young child then pushed his way to the front. It was Asher, the only basitin in the group. “W-we were kicked out, sir.”
“Kicked out?”
Ivan and Shadow came out from the crowd, quickly finding Asher. Shadow grabbed the boy and held onto him tight in case things went south. Ivan tried to reason with Bjorn, who was a bit intimidated by the wolf that was bigger than even him.
“Da. Jarl Tostig pushed us into the snow.”
“Explain.” Bjorn said, spear tip not lowering even slightly.
“What the big guy is trying to say is that Tostig found out there wasn’t enough supplies for everyone to last the winter, so he decided to get rid of every keidran in Callow. We’re exiles.”
This shocked Bjorn. He didn’t think anyone, not even a human, would do something so cutthroat. “Well, if you were hoping for our help, I’m sorry. But we don’t have supplies for everyone here. I can talk to my grandfather and perhaps the council will—”
“There are supplies across the river, if you’d let us go to Ditter’s Ridge we’ll stay out of the way of your siege. We certainly aren’t going to help Tostig after this.
“The big hill near Widow Lake? I thought that was just a bunch of mines.”
“It is, but apparently there are stores of supplies and shelter there.”
Ditter’s Ridge was still technically snow wolf lands, and the recent mining activity was part of why this whole situation was happening now. But these weren’t humans, clearly weren’t loyal to Tostig, and had no means to defending themselves anyway. After taking in the sight, he knew that they were speaking the truth, and that many wouldn’t make it more than a few days even in thick winter fur.
“Alright. We have no quarrel with you. I and a few others will lead you across the river. There’s a ford at Ridge Gate that’s shallow enough you all can cross without getting wet above the knees. We had better hurry though; another storm is coming.”
Shadow then walked up to Bjorn, noting that she was barely taller than his shoulder. “Thank you.” She said gratefully, extending a hand.
Bjorn looked down and felt his heart skip a beat. In a land of ice and snow, before him was a black-furred leopard, a keidran he had never seen before. He immediately reached out to shake her hand. “I am happy to help. Now, we had better get a move on.”
“Lead the way...” Shadow gestured as she grabbed Asher once again and made sure he walked closely beside her through the snow.
It was tough walking through the drifts. At one point, Shadow broke through a layer of hard snow into soft powder below. She sank up to her chest and was struggling to get out when a pair of snow shoes appeared in front of her. Looking up, she saw Bjorn extending his hand. In one swift motion, he lifted the leopard clean out of the snow and onto his snow shoes.
“Thank you.” Shadow said, stunned at how easy it was for the wolf.
“It was nothing.” He said, smile on his face.
In the early hours of dawn, the group of keidran spotted the Ridge Gate, a pair of towering bluffs the river cut through in order to make it to the sea. Soon, Shadow and Asher were some of the first to reach the shore of the river. Shadow picked up Asher and held him as she tried to cross, but the icy water stung on her skin. Bjorn then offered his help once again.
“Please, allow me.” He said as he picked Asher up and placed the boy on his shoulders. Before Shadow could continue into the river, he picked her up as well and held her under her back and knees.
“Oh... my…” Shadow said, looking up at Bjorn. “You really don’t have to.”
“I assume you aren’t from around these parts, considering the black fur.”
“No, I’m not.”
“Well, the river water is cold enough that you really don’t want to get wet if you can help it. So hold on tight, I’ll walk you across.”
It took a few minutes, but Shadow and Asher found themselves on dry ground. Without a word, Bjorn turned around and waded across the river again. It felt… odd… to be carried like that. But apparently the snow wolves were doing this for many of the keidran, especially the children. It took close to a half an hour before everyone was across, but by then it was a simple matter of climbing the ridge. At the top, Shadow and Asher felt the first rays of sun peaking above the horizon. It would fill the valley below for only a couple of hours before setting again.
“We’re getting close to the equinox.” Bjorn explained. “The sun will only break the horizon for an hour then, and it will get really cold.”
“Thank you again.” Shadow replied. “But I didn’t catch your name.”
“It’s Bjorn, ma’am.”
“Well, thank you Bjorn. I am Shadow and this here is Asher.”
“Glad to know you, Shadow. Now, where are these supplies you were talking about?”
“I’m guessing they are down there.” Shadow said as she pointed at what looked to be an abandoned mining camp. Once at the bottom of the ridge, the state of the camp was sad. Tents were blown down by the wind, a couple of the makeshift shacks were caved in from the heavy snow. But one large structure was locked up tight. Busting in the door with a log for a battering ram, the keidran found the first of many supplies. While the food was mostly for humans, and thus was a lot of flour and coffee, there was plenty of dried and salted meats. It wouldn’t be much, but with some careful rationing they’d all be able to make it through the winter.

We are Azure Infinitum
Visit us at: (https://www.azureinfinitum.com/)
You may have seen us in the Aether data center's party finder during our weekly events, or may have seen our recruitment shouts around the realm in-game in Midgardsormr, but there just isn't enough space in those places to really explain everything wonderful about what our Free Company and community is.
Azure Infinitum is an LGBTQ+ friendly community, and welcomes players of all experience level, play style, and availability. We're a warm home with a balance of online players, weekly optional activities, and flexible ranks from our membership, to our support & leadership categories. We have a 24/7 Support Team, a Councilship that governs each tier, seasonal events of our own, and many resources between the games we support and online services.
Who We Are
We are an established 9-year old community who's home is in Midgardsormr Server of Final Fantasy XIV. We are a structured, well-rounded, welcoming, friendly, and organized community that hosts daily events (check out our calendar: https://azureinfinitum.com/events/ ) that provide opportunity for members to excel. We work to provide an arena and opportunities to establish strong bonds and camaraderie between our members. As a community we are driven, we carry each other forward, and we are proud.
Our Name & Philosophy
Learn more about our global community here: (https://www.azureinfinitum.com/aboutus/)
Learn more about our FFXIV Free Company here: (https://www.azureinfinitum.com/ourffxivfc/)
Azure Infinitum means "Azure/Blue Infinity or Infinite Blue/Azure" and there is some mythos behind the name that stems from our guild-wide philosophy of kindness, freedom, vigilance, diversity and activity. We promote positive fellowship among members in an organized guild, with our sights open to our unending endless skies, full of possibility and success together.
Our motto is "As Free As The Azure Sky!" which stuck well when our FC was restructured from an old guild in 2014 as Azure was founded, and it was first shouted as we looked out at a clear blue sky above. has continued to be our electric victory as we continue to snowball in success and activity, our members soaring high through the Azure Sky, flying together!
Ranks
Click here to learn more about our community ranks: (https://www.azureinfinitum.com/ranks/)
Our community has an organized ranking structure beginning with Members who comprise the majority of the roster. Scouts are our support team of Members who've stepped up to more officially support the FC, some work on obtaining a future leadership rank. Lieutenants and Officers comprise the proud Azure Council, a diverse group of players of different specialties and services to the FC, making up lower and higher tier leadership, seeing over the Scouts and the FC weekly events, aside from being admins. The FC Infinitum Master oversees all and leads the Azure Council and the company forward while always keeping the heart and vision of the community alive and in sight. Currently we are re-assessing ranks in the free company, giving more support permissions and duties to our Scouts, while the current council operates as a small team of Lieutenants lead by the FC Master.
Everyone Welcome and Who Fits Best
We have an open door policy. Whether you're casual, a returning player, a veteran, or a newbie, we have a vast array of players in our member roster. Our weekly schedule is organized and provides an array of activity for players of most levels, however we like to ask players who're pretty new or under the level cap, to be extra vocal about their needs while they're still unable to attend some daily events or higher level content that most of our weekly lineup focuses on. We want everyone to have as much fun as possible and have the most success. We find that most players enjoy Azure Infinitum, many have stated that they subscribed to FFXIV much longer than they ever would have imagined after they have been around in our community, as they've gotten involved and experienced all that we offer.
Our FC keeps a daily schedule (see here: https://www.azureinfinitum.com/events/) of events that are hosted by permitted Scouts and Council ranks, these range from 8-man and 24-man raids and map parties, to WT journal groups and trial clear parties or farms, and more- and attending anything isn't mandatory at all here. We're happy to have you, and its up to our members how much they'd like to get involved. Attendance is optional! There's never any stress to attend FC functions.
Savage Raiding Statement
We find that some hardcore raiders looking for free companies just to join their statics who don't already have one, might not fit well if savage raiding is their only or greatest focus, because traditionally Azure does not have a Savage Static, but focuses more on allowing members to organize their own groups and also provides resources to do so. Despite not supporting an official static for the FC, we hope that hardcore raiders enjoy the wealth of our community's wealth of harmony and overall fun, and that everyone may take initiative to seek out or build a raiding static within our community if they are interested, as opposed to missing out on experiencing Azure. Depending on the content season, we may have an Unofficial static lead by a leader, and routinely offer limited time Savage-learning events that may run for a number of months.
Rules and No Drama Policy
Please take a moment to look over our Rules Page at (https://www.azureinfinitum.com/rules/), we find that rude individuals and people who create drama are the outsiders here that don't fit well. We know its a big page, so at least visit the General Rules section before joining.
Recruitment Care & Activity
People of Azure Infinitum are often if not always good natured players who found their way to our community looking for a place with structure, friendliness, organization, and great activity, or they've been scouted during recruitment drives and have been well screened. Its a place where one can be social and attend everything, or relax in the background and enjoy the services and facilities of being in an active, organized, and friendly FC. We actively recruit periodically to assist with upkeep of community activity levels, and to meet new comrades. A community that closes recruitment can be doomed to stagnation. Its normal for a community to have an inner core of die hards who log in daily regardless of content releases, and also have an outer core of individuals that range from those with less availability to those who check in during Patches. This is why we take extra care in keeping the fresh blood flowing into Azure, cautious recruitment, and support our active model by always staying welcoming and sometimes running recruitment campaigns and other services. Like this ad!
Handling Online Drama
Because we keep a no-drama policy and have a strong communication network, it is leadership's ultimate priority to handle any issues that may come up as soon as possible, and most people appreciate our problem solving which has inspired many other communities. Between our Support & Leadership ranks, we use a number of report and resource channels to handle situations, and perform problem solving protocols & tactics to fairly address issues as possible. Drama is inevitable at some point for any online community, so its important to have a large and strong list of moderators (currently around 60!) and a council of leaders (15+) to quickly handle any problems. Luckily, we don't have a lot of drama, but we're always very well equipped and very prepared. Our community has been commended by game staff in the past for our methods, and we have worked with the FFXIV Special Task Force to ensure as much safety to our community as achievable. It should be stressed that it is up to our membership to report to GM's in-game, and to Azure Leadership should any issues or concerns come up. Its also highly recommended that our members appropriately document evidence that can be used to help us assess situations and make proper decisions. Documenation such as screenshots of harassment is a great example! Our members online safety is greatly important to us and is a number one concern of our leadership team. Our Rules Page at: (https://www.azureinfinitum.com/rules/) describes a bit more in Chapter 3, including other entries on avoiding/ignoring trolls, playing while intoxicated, depression, and more.
Our Philosophy
We believe in our community and its people, how far we can go, how much we can do for each other, being an experienced community who's core values are positive fellowship, formation of bonds, and indomitable unity.
Azure Infinitum tightly grasps success and masters a casual and lucrative weekly play schedule while inspiring motivation and providing avenues for further success, friendships, and camaraderie among all who freely fly together among our Azure skies.
Founding on the principles of intricately forging a generally drama-free experience with keen leadership and a zealous and mighty membership, Azure has striven to guide and support many hundreds of players through every era of Final Fantasy XIV.
With an illustrious history, company lore, impressive statistics, and a model that is adaptable and blessed with innovative ability, Azure Infinitum claims a dominant presence of excellence and player growth that is possible in our community and extended services.
Estate Organization
We have the entire set-up at our estate, from gardens for members and Krakka Root production (free for members' chocobos), to our stables, nicely uniform clean lawn with hangout spots that are popular, with crafting stations, all available NPCs for simple mats and repairs, cut-scene viewer, toybox, triple-triad board, a fully operational and geared fleet of airships and subs, and our Azure Infinitum Assembly Chamber on the top floor for our meetings where announcements are made at our Grand Assemblies. Check it out if you like at Mist Ward 7 Plot 1.
We also have an organized form of gathering for weekly events in the yard, places to relax, food that is always available on tables at our Cellar, and hold a lot of special events and social games at our Hall. We're also conveniently located next to a Market Board and a Retainer Bell outside of our estate.
Communication and Extended Azure Services
We have multiple services of which none are mandatory, but we provide being (azureinfinitum.com) where our Forums, Event Calendar, News, Company Meeting Summaries, Seasonal Merch Giveaways, Contests, Rules Page, and more take place and can be found. We also have a popular and active Discord Server.
We also have a Facebook Group, Twitter, Tumblr, Instagram, Steam Group, (Look us up! Or visit: (https://www.azureinfinitum.com/socialmedia/) and Linkshells like our Infinitum Alliance LS for contact and aid from our allies if needed, our Azure Hunters LS for Hunters, and our Azure Industry LS which connects our members to our inner crafting/gathering community for newbies to pros.
Also worthy of mention is our big Company Meetings in-game, known as Azure Infinitum Grand Assemblies. Even though we have several avenues that keep people connected, our live assemblies gather the FC in unity where announcements are made first, and all proposals, ideas, and more, can be decided together live with the Azure Council present.
This network ensures a lot of information and communication gets around and has been exceedingly useful to us.
More On Events
One part of our reputation that often precedes us is our event crafting and hosting.
First, let me make sure its clear that attendance is never mandatory, but those who can make use, when possible, of what we provide each day, benefit from our events each week.
Since our beginning, traditions like our Thursday Treasure Thursdays events have run each week. Our weekly line-up presently begins on Tuesdays post-weekly reset, and consists of Raid Tuesdays, Wondrous Wednesdays (WT Journal Parties, often doubles as Trial Clears and Pony Drops), Treasure Thursdays (Endwalker's timeworn maps with groups of 8 doing up to 3 rounds of maps allowing for up to 24 maps ran), 24-Man Tuesdays (full pre-formed Azure 24-member alliances are made and raids are cleared, will be returning upon the release of EW's 24-man), Super Azure Slayer Sunday (our weekly meetup to do all sorts of PVP content be it Rival Wings or Frontline), and Monstrous Mondays (helps clear the current and previous patch extreme trials).
Special, Seasonal, and Quarterly Events
More info here: (https://www.azureinfinitum.com/azureday/)See the latest event news & more at: (https://www.azureinfinitum.com/news/)
We also have what we call Special and Quarterly Events. These types of events are Weekend-Long-Events that usually consist of a theme or celebratory social events we craft. During these events we hold big Riddle Races, Costume/Glamour shows and contests, 3-Story Mansion Maze Races, Speedrun Dungeon Races, Hide and Seek games, Custom Quest Events, Discord events like Cards Against Humanity nights, Comedy events, PVP Tournament Circuits, and more.
Our Special and Quarterly events are Azure Day Weekend (Takes place 3 times a year across a weekend, celebrates the FC), Azure Summer Festival (3-days at the end of August in partnership with Child's Play, raises money for children in long-term care, anniversary of historic FC event called the Lunar Rebellion), Anniversary Azure Day (a big weekend event in November that celebrates our Founding), Azure Day Saint's Wake (celebrates Halloween/All Saint's Wake), Azure Starlight Day (celebrating Starlight Day/Christmas/December Holiday Season), Azure Grand Melee and Duel Tournaments (PVP Circuit series crowning our PVP Champions) and more.
Azure Day Weekends
If you've been around our server you may have heard of our Azure Day Weekends. Our Azure Days take place quarterly as mentioned just above, with four evolved editions called Azure Summer Festival, Azure Day Saint's Wake, Azure Starlight Day, and Anniversary Azure Day. With Azure Day Weekends and related events traditionally occuring quarterly our members are always excited to see the next big weekend of crazy and fun social games, and our showering of the free company in gil and prizes galore. We go all out when we celebrate the free company, and Azure Days are another way we find for leadership to give back to the community. 2023 and beyond is now host to additional seasonal Azure Day events!
We're always giving our members a chance to have fun, win big, and make some great memories in the in-game family we've become. Something fun is always on the horizon in Azure.
Community
I almost can't stress enough how friendly our community is. We have a vast variety of members from hardcore gatherers and crafters, social butterflies, chill veterans, experienced raiders, level grinders, support teams, PVP aficionados, mechanic specialists, and mentors. We're also very friendly to all casual players as well and we keep an open door so long as recruits are always aware that we have a no-drama tolerance here.
​Evolution into a Gaming Clan & Network
Plans are in the works and foundations are being laid that is slowly turning our community into a larger gaming network, with our first established Azure Wing with regular occurring activity being founded in Monster Hunter World, this has led to a successful Destiny 2 clan and more. Becoming a member of our Discord and/or Free Company now means access to things like our huge discord, Azure Wing membership in other games, and being able to join in on any of our other activities in the general community. Azure Network as its being called at the moment, is growing with an all-new website and community features for playing together across Final Fantasy XIV and to Azure Skies beyond!
Activity
We rank high as one of the top FC's in Worldwide Activity on lodestone, and have for a long time. Most of our players are divided between the US East and West Coasts, members in East and West Canada, and a few outside the US or in EU or Aus zones. Because we do have an activity policy (mentioned below) we keep a standard flow of people, and have crowds in the early morning, late morning, early afternoon, afternoon, evening, and late night crowds.
Elitism isn't our style. Our community boasts a broad range of characters, great personalities, the proud, and also some silly goofs. But elitism isn't welcome, no matter how successful we are or how large we grow. We're always welcoming towards fresh faces interested in joining our guild, and the in-game activity ranges between 30-60+ online at once during prime time hours, sometimes around 70+ on patch days, and usually always with half the roster logging in throughout a 24 hour period, and around 15-30+ during the night.
Activity Policy
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I also understand this may not quite fit in this subreddit, but I'm desperate at this point, mods please feel free to remove if you deem necessary.
This is a very long post.
I'll post a TLDR at the bottom, and I appreciate you taking the time to read this. I understand it's an awful lot, but it's an awful lot that's happening to us!
Where do I begin... I live on a quiet street. I am a private tennant to a very sweet landlord who knew all of the neighbours on said street as they lived here long before I even moved to this town. All of the neighbours, apart from two houses and my own are privately owned by the occupants. The other two are council owned. I live in a terrace, and the property next to me is the end of the terrace, which is a council house. This is sort of important to state.
We had nightmare neighbours before when we moved in, but after a few (this is an understatement but it's not important right now) noise complaints and constant council pressing, they abandoned the property. It was empty for maybe half a year and then a family had been moved in. A pregnant lady (the main issue), who I shall call Beach, the baby daddy, who I'll call Aggro, and their two sweet twin toddlers. I'm salty I can't think of names right now Beach was actually due that week, which I could resonate with as I was currently pregnant at that time also. We had a nice greeting, sometimes said hello but as I was having a difficult pregnancy I stayed inside a lot.
A couple months pass and the arguments started. This is the downhill part. At first, we thought nothing of it. They have a newborn, things are heated enough, it's stressful, we get it. It was for us when ours finally came along, but then the arguments got violent. The words they used were awful, and I mean AWFUL. He would constantly call her a fat [email protected] (I'm sorry) and any other name under the sun, she would scream at him so loud we couldn't understand most of the words but they weren't nice. The little ones are screaming, crying, generally upset because of this shouting match. It goes on for days on end, and we're getting so stressed having to hear this. We start recording what's going on (learned that from the last ones) and call it in. At first, it was terrifying because when the police would turn up, Beach would scream at the officers. (Like, wtf?) The more they argued, the more we called, and it was getting very heated. There were incidents where they would recklessly drive off, would scream in the street, one time the police had blocked their car in the middle of the street and she was SCREAMING at everyone, saying things like "he's a drug dealer go arrest him" and other weird statements. We then came to learn he actually is a dealer as we've witnessed multiple deals go on, and Aggro has even gone so far as to leave the house with the children unattended briefly to complete a drop around the corner. It's a LOT of drama.
I have multiple recordings of them arguing, of her screaming, of him acting extremely agressive towards her, sounds of walls being punched, their children crying, her abuse towards her children, with some examples being her stating "get out of my bag you filthy brat, where's my weed" said in a very alarming tone... To her toddler. She has said a lot of alarming things to her children which you just, don't say.
The heat gets bigger and she gets more upset that the police are being called on her all of the time, but any time they are called it's always for a legitimate reason, and I always have proof to back it up. The police have reassured me I'm not doing anything wrong, and to keep doing what I'm doing. At this point, the council are also involved, as much as they can be because most of the issues are for the police to handle, but they're still in the loop. This is where the housing layout is important. Because I am their only neighbour, they assume that it is me and only me who is calling. I have spoken with my other neighbours as we get along well, and they also call when they can hear it. One of them even got involved when Beach was screaming and swearing at her little ones to tell her to knock it off because they're only little. The whole street is sick of them at this point.
Fast forwards a little. One of my good friends takes me grocery shopping sometimes in his van. We had set out, baby in her seat in the back and had got as far as one street over. We had stopped at a junction because a tram had just pulled into the stop on the right, and a bus was also parked in the bus stop on the left. We couldn't move, as there was no clear right of way, so we waited, like literally anyone would. And then we hear beeps. Check the rear view mirrors, and we can see the neighbours car behind us getting impatient. The important thing to note, was that we have been sitting waiting for less than 20 seconds. We then hear the engine get loud, and see that the car is pulling up onto the pavement to undercut us, drive out onto the path near the bus stop and then very quickly speed off over two lanes. I wish I had this recorded because it was so illegal and horrid. We laughed it off, didn't think much of it after.
More time passes, and my parents are visiting to see their grandbaby. Beach has a friend over, let's call her Syko. My parents are parked on the road near the neighbours house, as my driveway is full with two cars who have rented my driveway out through Your Parking Space. Where they have parked is not on the neighbours property, nor is it in front of their property, it is about a car lengths behind - usually where visitors park for our street. Not in front of anyone's driveway or anything, just down the side of another person's house on the road. Syko appears a while after my parents do in her car, along with Beach in her own car and parks in front of her house. Syko parks super close to my mum's car and they're both out there revving their engines, causing a lot of noise. I make a side comment to my mum saying oh be careful they don't hit your car, joking about the previous situation. This causes my mum to go out and check on her car, and we don't think anything of it. I'm cooking my baby breakfast, we're just chilling. Then the shouting happens. I step outside with my dad to see what's going on, and the two are screaming at my mum, my mum is stood startled and confused why she's being screamed at. They turn to me and start screaming at me, "who is this?" In which I reply "none of your business?" Because, well, it isn't? They then get childish and start calling all of us names, saying my mum looks like a bloke and other random nonsense. My mum can't pass at this point as we were certain that she'd get attacked. I'm holding my baby the whole time this is happening so I don't have my phone (which I regret to this day) and I'm just trying to diffuse the situation. Meanwhile they're in their cars and Aggro is stood with the cars giving us a sht eating smirk in my direction. All the while, her children are in the back of her car. They're getting under all of our skins at this point as it's a lot of nonsense going on, when we're just trying to get my mum back in the house. She finally gets to my driveway, the cars start to drive off and I flip them the bird as they drive away. *Oh no, big mistake. (I want to add here, it was really hard to stay calm and be the bigger person this entire time. They have caused my family so much greif, and where I suffer from major anxiety it all got to me. I kept a brave face the entire time, but even the police agreed when I admitted my wrongdoing, they agreed it was hard as they got to me, and what they did next wasn't warranted in the slightest.)
Aggro starts shouting at me, asking why I did that. I stayed calm and just replied, or at least tried to, say something along the lines of well, they can say all of that to us and you're upset by a finger, to which I was interrupted with agression. Talking down to me, towering over me (at this point, my mum has the baby) and I'm just looking back up at him expressionless. He walks away to his house, then starts walking back over chanting "go get your man. I'm gonna fight him" over and over again, shouting louder and louder each time. At this point, the girls get out of their cars, abandoning them in the road along with her children in it, and my "man" (who is actually my wife 🏳️‍⚧️) isn't even home, she's in the office. Aggro spots my dad through my front door and says fine I'll fight you instead, to which my mum quickly gives the baby to him. Aggro steps over my wall, and barges into my house. Yes. He's trespassing with intent to assault. Unfortunately the next part is a haze for me, as my anxiety shoots into fight or flight. I'm pulling Aggro out of my house by his coat, which comes off unfortunately. My mum is then also pushing him out of the house, and we hear Beach shout "get your hands off my man", which looking back at, is hilarious. You're not bothered he's entering someone's house, you don't care he belittles and screams those vile words at you. Ugh, anyway. I'm then suddenly graced with two fists to both sides of my head/face and from then, everything sort of gets blurred. From there, the two are on my driveway screaming at myself and my mum "I'm autistic, I'm disabled", and I mean they're both claiming the same thing. I'm sort of ignoring them at this point, I'm emotionally burnt out and just want to get inside. We finally get inside and lock the door, my dad is on the phone to the police already and the two girls flee the scene. I'm an emotional mess now I finally don't have to keep a straight face, I call my wife to get her to come home, it's just awful. There's blood all over my shirt and face as my lobe was ripped open, my face is marked and I'm a wet sobbing mess.
Police turn up, get everyone's story then go to Aggro to get his story. The girls are on the phone to Aggro instead of present, because if they were present they'd have been arrested. I should add, nobody was arrested at all. PO came back stating that Aggro claims he just wanted to talk, I start crying and hold my tongue as I just wanted to scream at that point. I make sure pictures of my face is taken, numbers were exchanged as my parents aren't from around here and they left. From what I gathered happened was the officers spoke to various neighbours to get CCTV and we're going to get in touch to take statements.
The following day, they have a huge domestic. All day, they're shouting at each other. I'm terrified to call it in and just drown it out, but it gets worse and worse as the day goes on, and there was a lot of physical violence e.g. punching walls, slamming doors. The children are terrified. I finally call it in, but I make sure to have a decent recording. The police attend, diffuse and leave. They call me to obtain the recording, I comply, easy peasy. Things get quiet from there on. We wait for the police to get back to us but we're left in the dark. At this point, the council are aware of the situation and are on our side. The domestics start up again, I'm recording it all, calling it in, they come out and diffuse. We're back to before the incident. Fortunately, at this point I have set up CCTV which records 24/7.
Then the aggravation starts again. They're banging on the walls, screaming through to us. They're reversing up onto our driveway as one of the students isn't there at the time. I'm being heckled when I leave the house to take rubbish out. I'm being watched when I'm hanging my laundry out. It's emotionally draining. I can't sleep, I'm not myself anymore. I've developed PTSD from the incident, I'm having panic attacks, I'm in a very low place. I'm keeping the council informed with what's going on as it's unacceptable antisocial behaviour, I'm also updating the police when I can. I file an online report to explain the trespassing and how it's affecting us and a BEAT team comes out to speak with us. I explain that whilst we know what they're doing isn't technically illegal there's still intent to upset us. They offer to speak with them, we say no because their presence is enough. We're told to keep doing what we're doing, keep recording, keep calling because it's not okay.
A couple weeks pass and everything is quiet. We're still waiting for the original officer to get back to us but nothing. And then it happens. A huge domestic. Record, call, police arrive. Beach is screaming at the officers, they leave and she's back in the house still screaming. Her parents arrive to calm her down and they're all in the garden. Because she's still shouting I go upstairs to record and I record at the exact time she exclaims that she wants to kill me, and she doesn't care if she gets arrested. Big yikes. I call it in and update, I'm then asked to attend the police station. The whole family leave the house, Beach is having a meltdown and the dad is trying to calm her. They take the children away (no car seats, just buckle them in the cars, clearly shown on CCTV) and leave her behind. She then storms into her car, carelessly reverses onto my drive, shouts out of her window and then speeds off. We then flee to the station, speak with an officer, all is filed. They said because the threat was indirect they can't help us as it wouldn't hold up in court, but have major sympathy for us as they know it's awful what's going on.
At this point the log against them is huge. I've contacted the NSPCC to update them on what's happening, all of the concerns from the past year and a half, everything. They are taken back by what's going on, they link in with the police and CPS and we're just waiting for them to do what they need to do. The odd domestic happens here and there, call, police intervene, leave. (I should also note, the incident happened two months ago. Two months.) Things have slowed down, I'm trying to get a reply from the original officer but they're on leave, and it turns out they were trying to find any CCTV for the case before they got back to me.
One morning there was music, loud music. Blaring for quite a while, it's not your average oh they're playing music it's so loud you can't think inside your own home. I report it to the council and they come out to tell them off. Think nothing more of it. We then get a knock on our door later in the afternoon from three lovely officers who ask to speak with us. An anonymous caller proclaimed my wife and I were having a domestic, and our baby was crying. To their surprise, they come in to see our baby happily playing with her toys and us just vibing watching TV. They talk to us separately, we comply, they're happy and agree it was a nonsense call. They had actually attended a domestic in the past, so are aware of the situation. We fill them in on what's been going on and they're shocked. They leave, we see them out, no harm done. I let them know they are always welcome to chat with us. (Fun fact, wasting police time is a criminal offence). About a week ago they're going off on one again, he's calling her everything under the sun, the kids are crying. I hesitate to call it in at this point because I know there will be repercussions, but I brave it. Police come out, they're all outside talking and I can hear Aggro saying they're wasting their time. Police argue they're not. They leave, whatever.
Now for the drama. To set the scene, last week I'm home with the baby, my wife is at work. The police have left. I'm putting my baby down for her first nap of the day, then go to wash my hair. I finish up, and start tidying the kitchen from breakfast when I get a knock on the door from one of the officers from the last call out. I happily invite her in, and she states she needs to check some CCTV with me, I happily oblige. At this point, I'm not being told what's going on yet as she needs to confirm what's been said by the anonymous caller. What we see on the CCTV is the neighbours both leaving at around 9:03. 9:06 was the time of the incident they were proclaiming to have happened. The officer then explains that apparently at 9:06 I was screaming at the baby and she was crying. I laughed and brought up the baby cam showing she's fast asleep, and showed her my baby sleep tracking app, that she's been asleep since 9am. We both agree it was another nonsense call and move on, I wish her a good day and see her out.
Jump to yesterday, Syko, Beach and the other council tenant from across the road are on their front lawn having a very loud discussion about the incident. I open the ring camera to start recording as what they say could be incriminating and useful, as they were basically admitting to what happened. Syko is going off on one saying she'd happily beat me up, Beach is making us sound like were nonsense calling and that the police don't care about us when we call - which was laughable but they are still admitting to it. The neighbour is lapping up the drama and laughing with them, and then suggests that they post a lit bag full of vodka through our letterbox, pointing towards out door. Now, I'm stood with my wife showing her what's being said as it's happening. We're both in shock with what's being said, and I'm having a full body meltdown from the adrenaline. I'm frightened, and appauled. I send an email to the original officer explaining what's happened, that this really isn't okay and linked them the recordings. Now we're waiting for a response.
Phew that took a long time to write out. I'm sorry a lot of it seems like I'm blabbering, but when everything is put in the same basket, you can see that all of these events are horrible and inexcusable.
I will also add, after the first nonsense call, the council manager went to speak with her and her specialist at the property, and he called me to explain that she does in fact have autism, and she wants to let me know that she's sorry for what's happened. I replied almost laughing stating that what she has done is not okay, and just because she has autism doesn't mean her actions are justified AT ALL. We now know she really isn't sorry, proven by what followed with what I mentioned above.
What the heck do I do. I'm an emotional mess, the police are trying to help as much as they can but it's a long slow process. I can't move house, I'm on a long waiting list for psychotherapy, my wife is afraid to leave the house as her true self in fear of a hate crime as they have previously made a not so subtle side comment about her hair before, it's eating us alive. We're speaking with one of our neighbours who knows the other neighbour who may have gotten the incident on CCTV, but they're too fed up with getting involved with the police which is why it was never submitted in the first place. A lot of mistakes were made, I should have spoken to them sooner to convince them to send us the footage but I also think it was understandable as I'm having to live like a hermit in hopes I'm not targeted by these insane people. We need help, and I don't know who to turn to anymore.
TLDR:
Next door neighbours are having frequent domestic arguments with their children present. We are targeted by them as we call the police when they have these arguments. Young children / infant is present with all of this. Mother is abusive to said children, Father is an drug dealer with serious anger issues. I was attacked outside my home after a parking dispute by them. No CCTV evidence (yet, hopefully). Father trespassed in my home to assault my father but didn't succeed. Continuing domestic violence, continued aggravation towards us. They're getting desperate so call the police about fake incidents at our property. They're trespassing on our property to get a raise out of us but police can't intervene. Whole street is fed up with these crazy people living on our street. Council can't help. Mental health is in the pit as I can't leave the house without being heckled or my wife being put at risk for transphobia. We are stuck with what to do.

BOY this is gonna be a VERY long one. I'm also crossposting to a few subs as I need all the help I can get. But also, enjoy the drama? Trying to laugh about it all but it hurts so much, and their kids are also suffering.
I'll post a TLDR at the bottom, and I appreciate you taking the time to read this. I understand it's an awful lot, but it's an awful lot that's happening to us!
Where do I begin... I live on a quiet street. I am a private tennant to a very sweet landlord who knew all of the neighbours on said street as they lived here long before I even moved to this town. All of the neighbours, apart from two houses and my own are privately owned by the occupants. The other two are council owned. I live in a terrace, and the property next to me is the end of the terrace, which is a council house. This is sort of important to state.
We had nightmare neighbours before when we moved in, but after a few (this is an understatement but it's not important right now) noise complaints and constant council pressing, they abandoned the property. It was empty for maybe half a year and then a family had been moved in. A pregnant lady (the main issue), who I shall call Beach, the baby daddy, who I'll call Aggro, and their two sweet twin toddlers. I'm salty I can't think of names right now Beach was actually due that week, which I could resonate with as I was currently pregnant at that time also. We had a nice greeting, sometimes said hello but as I was having a difficult pregnancy I stayed inside a lot.
A couple months pass and the arguments started. This is the downhill part. At first, we thought nothing of it. They have a newborn, things are heated enough, it's stressful, we get it. It was for us when ours finally came along, but then the arguments got violent. The words they used were awful, and I mean AWFUL. He would constantly call her a fat [email protected] (I'm sorry) and any other name under the sun, she would scream at him so loud we couldn't understand most of the words but they weren't nice. The little ones are screaming, crying, generally upset because of this shouting match. It goes on for days on end, and we're getting so stressed having to hear this. We start recording what's going on (learned that from the last ones) and call it in. At first, it was terrifying because when the police would turn up, Beach would scream at the officers. (Like, wtf?) The more they argued, the more we called, and it was getting very heated. There were incidents where they would recklessly drive off, would scream in the street, one time the police had blocked their car in the middle of the street and she was SCREAMING at everyone, saying things like "he's a drug dealer go arrest him" and other weird statements. We then came to learn he actually is a dealer as we've witnessed multiple deals go on, and Aggro has even gone so far as to leave the house with the children unattended briefly to complete a drop around the corner. It's a LOT of drama.
I have multiple recordings of them arguing, of her screaming, of him acting extremely agressive towards her, sounds of walls being punched, their children crying, her abuse towards her children, with some examples being her stating "get out of my bag you filthy brat, where's my weed" said in a very alarming tone... To her toddler. She has said a lot of alarming things to her children which you just, don't say.
The heat gets bigger and she gets more upset that the police are being called on her all of the time, but any time they are called it's always for a legitimate reason, and I always have proof to back it up. The police have reassured me I'm not doing anything wrong, and to keep doing what I'm doing. At this point, the council are also involved, as much as they can be because most of the issues are for the police to handle, but they're still in the loop. This is where the housing layout is important. Because I am their only neighbour, they assume that it is me and only me who is calling. I have spoken with my other neighbours as we get along well, and they also call when they can hear it. One of them even got involved when Beach was screaming and swearing at her little ones to tell her to knock it off because they're only little. The whole street is sick of them at this point.
Fast forwards a little. One of my good friends takes me grocery shopping sometimes in his van. We had set out, baby in her seat in the back and had got as far as one street over. We had stopped at a junction because a tram had just pulled into the stop on the right, and a bus was also parked in the bus stop on the left. We couldn't move, as there was no clear right of way, so we waited, like literally anyone would. And then we hear beeps. Check the rear view mirrors, and we can see the neighbours car behind us getting impatient. The important thing to note, was that we have been sitting waiting for less than 20 seconds. We then hear the engine get loud, and see that the car is pulling up onto the pavement to undercut us, drive out onto the path near the bus stop and then very quickly speed off over two lanes. I wish I had this recorded because it was so illegal and horrid. We laughed it off, didn't think much of it after.
More time passes, and my parents are visiting to see their grandbaby. Beach has a friend over, let's call her Syko. My parents are parked on the road near the neighbours house, as my driveway is full with two cars who have rented my driveway out through Your Parking Space. Where they have parked is not on the neighbours property, nor is it in front of their property, it is about a car lengths behind - usually where visitors park for our street. Not in front of anyone's driveway or anything, just down the side of another person's house on the road. Syko appears a while after my parents do in her car, along with Beach in her own car and parks in front of her house. Syko parks super close to my mum's car and they're both out there revving their engines, causing a lot of noise. I make a side comment to my mum saying oh be careful they don't hit your car, joking about the previous situation. This causes my mum to go out and check on her car, and we don't think anything of it. I'm cooking my baby breakfast, we're just chilling. Then the shouting happens. I step outside with my dad to see what's going on, and the two are screaming at my mum, my mum is stood startled and confused why she's being screamed at. They turn to me and start screaming at me, "who is this?" In which I reply "none of your business?" Because, well, it isn't? They then get childish and start calling all of us names, saying my mum looks like a bloke and other random nonsense. My mum can't pass at this point as we were certain that she'd get attacked. I'm holding my baby the whole time this is happening so I don't have my phone (which I regret to this day) and I'm just trying to diffuse the situation. Meanwhile they're in their cars and Aggro is stood with the cars giving us a sht eating smirk in my direction. All the while, her children are in the back of her car. They're getting under all of our skins at this point as it's a lot of nonsense going on, when we're just trying to get my mum back in the house. She finally gets to my driveway, the cars start to drive off and I flip them the bird as they drive away. *Oh no, big mistake. (I want to add here, it was really hard to stay calm and be the bigger person this entire time. They have caused my family so much greif, and where I suffer from major anxiety it all got to me. I kept a brave face the entire time, but even the police agreed when I admitted my wrongdoing, they agreed it was hard as they got to me, and what they did next wasn't warranted in the slightest.)
Aggro starts shouting at me, asking why I did that. I stayed calm and just replied, or at least tried to, say something along the lines of well, they can say all of that to us and you're upset by a finger, to which I was interrupted with agression. Talking down to me, towering over me (at this point, my mum has the baby) and I'm just looking back up at him expressionless. He walks away to his house, then starts walking back over chanting "go get your man. I'm gonna fight him" over and over again, shouting louder and louder each time. At this point, the girls get out of their cars, abandoning them in the road along with her children in it, and my "man" (who is actually my wife 🏳️‍⚧️) isn't even home, she's in the office. Aggro spots my dad through my front door and says fine I'll fight you instead, to which my mum quickly gives the baby to him. Aggro steps over my wall, and barges into my house. Yes. He's trespassing with intent to assault. Unfortunately the next part is a haze for me, as my anxiety shoots into fight or flight. I'm pulling Aggro out of my house by his coat, which comes off unfortunately. My mum is then also pushing him out of the house, and we hear Beach shout "get your hands off my man", which looking back at, is hilarious. You're not bothered he's entering someone's house, you don't care he belittles and screams those vile words at you. Ugh, anyway. I'm then suddenly graced with two fists to both sides of my head/face and from then, everything sort of gets blurred. From there, the two are on my driveway screaming at myself and my mum "I'm autistic, I'm disabled", and I mean they're both claiming the same thing. I'm sort of ignoring them at this point, I'm emotionally burnt out and just want to get inside. We finally get inside and lock the door, my dad is on the phone to the police already and the two girls flee the scene. I'm an emotional mess now I finally don't have to keep a straight face, I call my wife to get her to come home, it's just awful. There's blood all over my shirt and face as my lobe was ripped open, my face is marked and I'm a wet sobbing mess.
Police turn up, get everyone's story then go to Aggro to get his story. The girls are on the phone to Aggro instead of present, because if they were present they'd have been arrested. I should add, nobody was arrested at all. PO came back stating that Aggro claims he just wanted to talk, I start crying and hold my tongue as I just wanted to scream at that point. I make sure pictures of my face is taken, numbers were exchanged as my parents aren't from around here and they left. From what I gathered happened was the officers spoke to various neighbours to get CCTV and we're going to get in touch to take statements.
The following day, they have a huge domestic. All day, they're shouting at each other. I'm terrified to call it in and just drown it out, but it gets worse and worse as the day goes on, and there was a lot of physical violence e.g. punching walls, slamming doors. The children are terrified. I finally call it in, but I make sure to have a decent recording. The police attend, diffuse and leave. They call me to obtain the recording, I comply, easy peasy. Things get quiet from there on. We wait for the police to get back to us but we're left in the dark. At this point, the council are aware of the situation and are on our side. The domestics start up again, I'm recording it all, calling it in, they come out and diffuse. We're back to before the incident. Fortunately, at this point I have set up CCTV which records 24/7.
Then the aggravation starts again. They're banging on the walls, screaming through to us. They're reversing up onto our driveway as one of the students isn't there at the time. I'm being heckled when I leave the house to take rubbish out. I'm being watched when I'm hanging my laundry out. It's emotionally draining. I can't sleep, I'm not myself anymore. I've developed PTSD from the incident, I'm having panic attacks, I'm in a very low place. I'm keeping the council informed with what's going on as it's unacceptable antisocial behaviour, I'm also updating the police when I can. I file an online report to explain the trespassing and how it's affecting us and a BEAT team comes out to speak with us. I explain that whilst we know what they're doing isn't technically illegal there's still intent to upset us. They offer to speak with them, we say no because their presence is enough. We're told to keep doing what we're doing, keep recording, keep calling because it's not okay.
A couple weeks pass and everything is quiet. We're still waiting for the original officer to get back to us but nothing. And then it happens. A huge domestic. Record, call, police arrive. Beach is screaming at the officers, they leave and she's back in the house still screaming. Her parents arrive to calm her down and they're all in the garden. Because she's still shouting I go upstairs to record and I record at the exact time she exclaims that she wants to kill me, and she doesn't care if she gets arrested. Big yikes. I call it in and update, I'm then asked to attend the police station. The whole family leave the house, Beach is having a meltdown and the dad is trying to calm her. They take the children away (no car seats, just buckle them in the cars, clearly shown on CCTV) and leave her behind. She then storms into her car, carelessly reverses onto my drive, shouts out of her window and then speeds off. We then flee to the station, speak with an officer, all is filed. They said because the threat was indirect they can't help us as it wouldn't hold up in court, but have major sympathy for us as they know it's awful what's going on.
At this point the log against them is huge. I've contacted the NSPCC to update them on what's happening, all of the concerns from the past year and a half, everything. They are taken back by what's going on, they link in with the police and CPS and we're just waiting for them to do what they need to do. The odd domestic happens here and there, call, police intervene, leave. (I should also note, the incident happened two months ago. Two months.) Things have slowed down, I'm trying to get a reply from the original officer but they're on leave, and it turns out they were trying to find any CCTV for the case before they got back to me.
One morning there was music, loud music. Blaring for quite a while, it's not your average oh they're playing music it's so loud you can't think inside your own home. I report it to the council and they come out to tell them off. Think nothing more of it. We then get a knock on our door later in the afternoon from three lovely officers who ask to speak with us. An anonymous caller proclaimed my wife and I were having a domestic, and our baby was crying. To their surprise, they come in to see our baby happily playing with her toys and us just vibing watching TV. They talk to us separately, we comply, they're happy and agree it was a nonsense call. They had actually attended a domestic in the past, so are aware of the situation. We fill them in on what's been going on and they're shocked. They leave, we see them out, no harm done. I let them know they are always welcome to chat with us. (Fun fact, wasting police time is a criminal offence). About a week ago they're going off on one again, he's calling her everything under the sun, the kids are crying. I hesitate to call it in at this point because I know there will be repercussions, but I brave it. Police come out, they're all outside talking and I can hear Aggro saying they're wasting their time. Police argue they're not. They leave, whatever.
Now for the drama. To set the scene, last week I'm home with the baby, my wife is at work. The police have left. I'm putting my baby down for her first nap of the day, then go to wash my hair. I finish up, and start tidying the kitchen from breakfast when I get a knock on the door from one of the officers from the last call out. I happily invite her in, and she states she needs to check some CCTV with me, I happily oblige. At this point, I'm not being told what's going on yet as she needs to confirm what's been said by the anonymous caller. What we see on the CCTV is the neighbours both leaving at around 9:03. 9:06 was the time of the incident they were proclaiming to have happened. The officer then explains that apparently at 9:06 I was screaming at the baby and she was crying. I laughed and brought up the baby cam showing she's fast asleep, and showed her my baby sleep tracking app, that she's been asleep since 9am. We both agree it was another nonsense call and move on, I wish her a good day and see her out.
Jump to yesterday, Syko, Beach and the other council tenant from across the road are on their front lawn having a very loud discussion about the incident. I open the ring camera to start recording as what they say could be incriminating and useful, as they were basically admitting to what happened. Syko is going off on one saying she'd happily beat me up, Beach is making us sound like were nonsense calling and that the police don't care about us when we call - which was laughable but they are still admitting to it. The neighbour is lapping up the drama and laughing with them, and then suggests that they post a lit bag full of vodka through our letterbox, pointing towards out door. Now, I'm stood with my wife showing her what's being said as it's happening. We're both in shock with what's being said, and I'm having a full body meltdown from the adrenaline. I'm frightened, and appauled. I send an email to the original officer explaining what's happened, that this really isn't okay and linked them the recordings. Now we're waiting for a response.
Phew that took a long time to write out. I'm sorry a lot of it seems like I'm blabbering, but when everything is put in the same basket, you can see that all of these events are horrible and inexcusable.
I will also add, after the first nonsense call, the council manager went to speak with her and her specialist at the property, and he called me to explain that she does in fact have autism, and she wants to let me know that she's sorry for what's happened. I replied almost laughing stating that what she has done is not okay, and just because she has autism doesn't mean her actions are justified AT ALL. We now know she really isn't sorry, proven by what followed with what I mentioned above.
What the heck do I do. I'm an emotional mess, the police are trying to help as much as they can but it's a long slow process. I can't move house, I'm on a long waiting list for psychotherapy, my wife is afraid to leave the house as her true self in fear of a hate crime as they have previously made a not so subtle side comment about her hair before, it's eating us alive. We're speaking with one of our neighbours who knows the other neighbour who may have gotten the incident on CCTV, but they're too fed up with getting involved with the police which is why it was never submitted in the first place. A lot of mistakes were made, I should have spoken to them sooner to convince them to send us the footage but I also think it was understandable as I'm having to live like a hermit in hopes I'm not targeted by these insane people. We need help, and I don't know who to turn to anymore.
TLDR:
Next door neighbours are having frequent domestic arguments with their children present. We are targeted by them as we call the police when they have these arguments. Young children / infant is present with all of this. Mother is abusive to said children, Father is an drug dealer with serious anger issues. I was attacked outside my home after a parking dispute by them. No CCTV evidence (yet, hopefully). Father trespassed in my home to assault my father but didn't succeed. Continuing domestic violence, continued aggravation towards us. They're getting desperate so call the police about fake incidents at our property. They're trespassing on our property to get a raise out of us but police can't intervene. Whole street is fed up with these crazy people living on our street. Council can't help. Mental health is in the pit as I can't leave the house without being heckled or my wife being put at risk for transphobia. We are stuck with what to do.

BOY this is gonna be a VERY long one. I'm also crossposting to multiple subreddits as I'm desperate.
I'll post a TLDR at the bottom, and I appreciate you taking the time to read this. I understand it's an awful lot, but it's an awful lot that's happening to us!
Where do I begin... I live on a quiet street. I am a private tennant to a very sweet landlord who knew all of the neighbours on said street as they lived here long before I even moved to this town. All of the neighbours, apart from two houses and my own are privately owned by the occupants. The other two are council owned. I live in a terrace, and the property next to me is the end of the terrace, which is a council house. This is sort of important to state.
We had nightmare neighbours before when we moved in, but after a few (this is an understatement but it's not important right now) noise complaints and constant council pressing, they abandoned the property. It was empty for maybe half a year and then a family had been moved in. A pregnant lady (the main issue), who I shall call Beach, the baby daddy, who I'll call Aggro, and their two sweet twin toddlers. I'm salty I can't think of names right now Beach was actually due that week, which I could resonate with as I was currently pregnant at that time also. We had a nice greeting, sometimes said hello but as I was having a difficult pregnancy I stayed inside a lot.
A couple months pass and the arguments started. This is the downhill part. At first, we thought nothing of it. They have a newborn, things are heated enough, it's stressful, we get it. It was for us when ours finally came along, but then the arguments got violent. The words they used were awful, and I mean AWFUL. He would constantly call her a fat [email protected] (I'm sorry) and any other name under the sun, she would scream at him so loud we couldn't understand most of the words but they weren't nice. The little ones are screaming, crying, generally upset because of this shouting match. It goes on for days on end, and we're getting so stressed having to hear this. We start recording what's going on (learned that from the last ones) and call it in. At first, it was terrifying because when the police would turn up, Beach would scream at the officers. (Like, wtf?) The more they argued, the more we called, and it was getting very heated. There were incidents where they would recklessly drive off, would scream in the street, one time the police had blocked their car in the middle of the street and she was SCREAMING at everyone, saying things like "he's a drug dealer go arrest him" and other weird statements. We then came to learn he actually is a dealer as we've witnessed multiple deals go on, and Aggro has even gone so far as to leave the house with the children unattended briefly to complete a drop around the corner. It's a LOT of drama.
I have multiple recordings of them arguing, of her screaming, of him acting extremely agressive towards her, sounds of walls being punched, their children crying, her abuse towards her children, with some examples being her stating "get out of my bag you filthy brat, where's my weed" said in a very alarming tone... To her toddler. She has said a lot of alarming things to her children which you just, don't say.
The heat gets bigger and she gets more upset that the police are being called on her all of the time, but any time they are called it's always for a legitimate reason, and I always have proof to back it up. The police have reassured me I'm not doing anything wrong, and to keep doing what I'm doing. At this point, the council are also involved, as much as they can be because most of the issues are for the police to handle, but they're still in the loop. This is where the housing layout is important. Because I am their only neighbour, they assume that it is me and only me who is calling. I have spoken with my other neighbours as we get along well, and they also call when they can hear it. One of them even got involved when Beach was screaming and swearing at her little ones to tell her to knock it off because they're only little. The whole street is sick of them at this point.
Fast forwards a little. One of my good friends takes me grocery shopping sometimes in his van. We had set out, baby in her seat in the back and had got as far as one street over. We had stopped at a junction because a tram had just pulled into the stop on the right, and a bus was also parked in the bus stop on the left. We couldn't move, as there was no clear right of way, so we waited, like literally anyone would. And then we hear beeps. Check the rear view mirrors, and we can see the neighbours car behind us getting impatient. The important thing to note, was that we have been sitting waiting for less than 20 seconds. We then hear the engine get loud, and see that the car is pulling up onto the pavement to undercut us, drive out onto the path near the bus stop and then very quickly speed off over two lanes. I wish I had this recorded because it was so illegal and horrid. We laughed it off, didn't think much of it after.
More time passes, and my parents are visiting to see their grandbaby. Beach has a friend over, let's call her Syko. My parents are parked on the road near the neighbours house, as my driveway is full with two cars who have rented my driveway out through Your Parking Space. Where they have parked is not on the neighbours property, nor is it in front of their property, it is about a car lengths behind - usually where visitors park for our street. Not in front of anyone's driveway or anything, just down the side of another person's house on the road. Syko appears a while after my parents do in her car, along with Beach in her own car and parks in front of her house. Syko parks super close to my mum's car and they're both out there revving their engines, causing a lot of noise. I make a side comment to my mum saying oh be careful they don't hit your car, joking about the previous situation. This causes my mum to go out and check on her car, and we don't think anything of it. I'm cooking my baby breakfast, we're just chilling. Then the shouting happens. I step outside with my dad to see what's going on, and the two are screaming at my mum, my mum is stood startled and confused why she's being screamed at. They turn to me and start screaming at me, "who is this?" In which I reply "none of your business?" Because, well, it isn't? They then get childish and start calling all of us names, saying my mum looks like a bloke and other random nonsense. My mum can't pass at this point as we were certain that she'd get attacked. I'm holding my baby the whole time this is happening so I don't have my phone (which I regret to this day) and I'm just trying to diffuse the situation. Meanwhile they're in their cars and Aggro is stood with the cars giving us a sht eating smirk in my direction. All the while, her children are in the back of her car. They're getting under all of our skins at this point as it's a lot of nonsense going on, when we're just trying to get my mum back in the house. She finally gets to my driveway, the cars start to drive off and I flip them the bird as they drive away. *Oh no, big mistake. (I want to add here, it was really hard to stay calm and be the bigger person this entire time. They have caused my family so much greif, and where I suffer from major anxiety it all got to me. I kept a brave face the entire time, but even the police agreed when I admitted my wrongdoing, they agreed it was hard as they got to me, and what they did next wasn't warranted in the slightest.)
Aggro starts shouting at me, asking why I did that. I stayed calm and just replied, or at least tried to, say something along the lines of well, they can say all of that to us and you're upset by a finger, to which I was interrupted with agression. Talking down to me, towering over me (at this point, my mum has the baby) and I'm just looking back up at him expressionless. He walks away to his house, then starts walking back over chanting "go get your man. I'm gonna fight him" over and over again, shouting louder and louder each time. At this point, the girls get out of their cars, abandoning them in the road along with her children in it, and my "man" (who is actually my wife 🏳️‍⚧️) isn't even home, she's in the office. Aggro spots my dad through my front door and says fine I'll fight you instead, to which my mum quickly gives the baby to him. Aggro steps over my wall, and barges into my house. Yes. He's trespassing with intent to assault. Unfortunately the next part is a haze for me, as my anxiety shoots into fight or flight. I'm pulling Aggro out of my house by his coat, which comes off unfortunately. My mum is then also pushing him out of the house, and we hear Beach shout "get your hands off my man", which looking back at, is hilarious. You're not bothered he's entering someone's house, you don't care he belittles and screams those vile words at you. Ugh, anyway. I'm then suddenly graced with two fists to both sides of my head/face and from then, everything sort of gets blurred. From there, the two are on my driveway screaming at myself and my mum "I'm autistic, I'm disabled", and I mean they're both claiming the same thing. I'm sort of ignoring them at this point, I'm emotionally burnt out and just want to get inside. We finally get inside and lock the door, my dad is on the phone to the police already and the two girls flee the scene. I'm an emotional mess now I finally don't have to keep a straight face, I call my wife to get her to come home, it's just awful. There's blood all over my shirt and face as my lobe was ripped open, my face is marked and I'm a wet sobbing mess.
Police turn up, get everyone's story then go to Aggro to get his story. The girls are on the phone to Aggro instead of present, because if they were present they'd have been arrested. I should add, nobody was arrested at all. PO came back stating that Aggro claims he just wanted to talk, I start crying and hold my tongue as I just wanted to scream at that point. I make sure pictures of my face is taken, numbers were exchanged as my parents aren't from around here and they left. From what I gathered happened was the officers spoke to various neighbours to get CCTV and we're going to get in touch to take statements.
The following day, they have a huge domestic. All day, they're shouting at each other. I'm terrified to call it in and just drown it out, but it gets worse and worse as the day goes on, and there was a lot of physical violence e.g. punching walls, slamming doors. The children are terrified. I finally call it in, but I make sure to have a decent recording. The police attend, diffuse and leave. They call me to obtain the recording, I comply, easy peasy. Things get quiet from there on. We wait for the police to get back to us but we're left in the dark. At this point, the council are aware of the situation and are on our side. The domestics start up again, I'm recording it all, calling it in, they come out and diffuse. We're back to before the incident. Fortunately, at this point I have set up CCTV which records 24/7.
Then the aggravation starts again. They're banging on the walls, screaming through to us. They're reversing up onto our driveway as one of the students isn't there at the time. I'm being heckled when I leave the house to take rubbish out. I'm being watched when I'm hanging my laundry out. It's emotionally draining. I can't sleep, I'm not myself anymore. I've developed PTSD from the incident, I'm having panic attacks, I'm in a very low place. I'm keeping the council informed with what's going on as it's unacceptable antisocial behaviour, I'm also updating the police when I can. I file an online report to explain the trespassing and how it's affecting us and a BEAT team comes out to speak with us. I explain that whilst we know what they're doing isn't technically illegal there's still intent to upset us. They offer to speak with them, we say no because their presence is enough. We're told to keep doing what we're doing, keep recording, keep calling because it's not okay.
A couple weeks pass and everything is quiet. We're still waiting for the original officer to get back to us but nothing. And then it happens. A huge domestic. Record, call, police arrive. Beach is screaming at the officers, they leave and she's back in the house still screaming. Her parents arrive to calm her down and they're all in the garden. Because she's still shouting I go upstairs to record and I record at the exact time she exclaims that she wants to kill me, and she doesn't care if she gets arrested. Big yikes. I call it in and update, I'm then asked to attend the police station. The whole family leave the house, Beach is having a meltdown and the dad is trying to calm her. They take the children away (no car seats, just buckle them in the cars, clearly shown on CCTV) and leave her behind. She then storms into her car, carelessly reverses onto my drive, shouts out of her window and then speeds off. We then flee to the station, speak with an officer, all is filed. They said because the threat was indirect they can't help us as it wouldn't hold up in court, but have major sympathy for us as they know it's awful what's going on.
At this point the log against them is huge. I've contacted the NSPCC to update them on what's happening, all of the concerns from the past year and a half, everything. They are taken back by what's going on, they link in with the police and CPS and we're just waiting for them to do what they need to do. The odd domestic happens here and there, call, police intervene, leave. (I should also note, the incident happened two months ago. Two months.) Things have slowed down, I'm trying to get a reply from the original officer but they're on leave, and it turns out they were trying to find any CCTV for the case before they got back to me.
One morning there was music, loud music. Blaring for quite a while, it's not your average oh they're playing music it's so loud you can't think inside your own home. I report it to the council and they come out to tell them off. Think nothing more of it. We then get a knock on our door later in the afternoon from three lovely officers who ask to speak with us. An anonymous caller proclaimed my wife and I were having a domestic, and our baby was crying. To their surprise, they come in to see our baby happily playing with her toys and us just vibing watching TV. They talk to us separately, we comply, they're happy and agree it was a nonsense call. They had actually attended a domestic in the past, so are aware of the situation. We fill them in on what's been going on and they're shocked. They leave, we see them out, no harm done. I let them know they are always welcome to chat with us. (Fun fact, wasting police time is a criminal offence). About a week ago they're going off on one again, he's calling her everything under the sun, the kids are crying. I hesitate to call it in at this point because I know there will be repercussions, but I brave it. Police come out, they're all outside talking and I can hear Aggro saying they're wasting their time. Police argue they're not. They leave, whatever.
Now for the drama. To set the scene, last week I'm home with the baby, my wife is at work. The police have left. I'm putting my baby down for her first nap of the day, then go to wash my hair. I finish up, and start tidying the kitchen from breakfast when I get a knock on the door from one of the officers from the last call out. I happily invite her in, and she states she needs to check some CCTV with me, I happily oblige. At this point, I'm not being told what's going on yet as she needs to confirm what's been said by the anonymous caller. What we see on the CCTV is the neighbours both leaving at around 9:03. 9:06 was the time of the incident they were proclaiming to have happened. The officer then explains that apparently at 9:06 I was screaming at the baby and she was crying. I laughed and brought up the baby cam showing she's fast asleep, and showed her my baby sleep tracking app, that she's been asleep since 9am. We both agree it was another nonsense call and move on, I wish her a good day and see her out.
Jump to yesterday, Syko, Beach and the other council tenant from across the road are on their front lawn having a very loud discussion about the incident. I open the ring camera to start recording as what they say could be incriminating and useful, as they were basically admitting to what happened. Syko is going off on one saying she'd happily beat me up, Beach is making us sound like were nonsense calling and that the police don't care about us when we call - which was laughable but they are still admitting to it. The neighbour is lapping up the drama and laughing with them, and then suggests that they post a lit bag full of vodka through our letterbox, pointing towards out door. Now, I'm stood with my wife showing her what's being said as it's happening. We're both in shock with what's being said, and I'm having a full body meltdown from the adrenaline. I'm frightened, and appauled. I send an email to the original officer explaining what's happened, that this really isn't okay and linked them the recordings. Now we're waiting for a response.
Phew that took a long time to write out. I'm sorry a lot of it seems like I'm blabbering, but when everything is put in the same basket, you can see that all of these events are horrible and inexcusable.
I will also add, after the first nonsense call, the council manager went to speak with her and her specialist at the property, and he called me to explain that she does in fact have autism, and she wants to let me know that she's sorry for what's happened. I replied almost laughing stating that what she has done is not okay, and just because she has autism doesn't mean her actions are justified AT ALL. We now know she really isn't sorry, proven by what followed with what I mentioned above.
What the heck do I do. I'm an emotional mess, the police are trying to help as much as they can but it's a long slow process. I can't move house, I'm on a long waiting list for psychotherapy, my wife is afraid to leave the house as her true self in fear of a hate crime as they have previously made a not so subtle side comment about her hair before, it's eating us alive. We're speaking with one of our neighbours who knows the other neighbour who may have gotten the incident on CCTV, but they're too fed up with getting involved with the police which is why it was never submitted in the first place. A lot of mistakes were made, I should have spoken to them sooner to convince them to send us the footage but I also think it was understandable as I'm having to live like a hermit in hopes I'm not targeted by these insane people. We need help, and I don't know who to turn to anymore.
TLDR:
Next door neighbours are having frequent domestic arguments with their children present. We are targeted by them as we call the police when they have these arguments. Young children / infant is present with all of this. Mother is abusive to said children, Father is an drug dealer with serious anger issues. I was attacked outside my home after a parking dispute by them. No CCTV evidence (yet, hopefully). Father trespassed in my home to assault my father but didn't succeed. Continuing domestic violence, continued aggravation towards us. They're getting desperate so call the police about fake incidents at our property. They're trespassing on our property to get a raise out of us but police can't intervene. Whole street is fed up with these crazy people living on our street. Council can't help. Mental health is in the pit as I can't leave the house without being heckled or my wife being put at risk for transphobia. We are stuck with what to do.

BOY this is gonna be a VERY long one. I also understand this may not quite fit in this subreddit, but I'm desperate at this point.
I'll post a TLDR at the bottom, and I appreciate you taking the time to read this. I understand it's an awful lot, but it's an awful lot that's happening to us!
Where do I begin... I live on a quiet street. I am a private tennant to a very sweet landlord who knew all of the neighbours on said street as they lived here long before I even moved to this town. All of the neighbours, apart from two houses and my own are privately owned by the occupants. The other two are council owned. I live in a terrace, and the property next to me is the end of the terrace, which is a council house. This is sort of important to state.
We had nightmare neighbours before when we moved in, but after a few (this is an understatement but it's not important right now) noise complaints and constant council pressing, they abandoned the property. It was empty for maybe half a year and then a family had been moved in. A pregnant lady (the main issue), who I shall call Beach, the baby daddy, who I'll call Aggro, and their two sweet twin toddlers. I'm salty I can't think of names right now Beach was actually due that week, which I could resonate with as I was currently pregnant at that time also. We had a nice greeting, sometimes said hello but as I was having a difficult pregnancy I stayed inside a lot.
A couple months pass and the arguments started. This is the downhill part. At first, we thought nothing of it. They have a newborn, things are heated enough, it's stressful, we get it. It was for us when ours finally came along, but then the arguments got violent. The words they used were awful, and I mean AWFUL. He would constantly call her a fat [email protected] (I'm sorry) and any other name under the sun, she would scream at him so loud we couldn't understand most of the words but they weren't nice. The little ones are screaming, crying, generally upset because of this shouting match. It goes on for days on end, and we're getting so stressed having to hear this. We start recording what's going on (learned that from the last ones) and call it in. At first, it was terrifying because when the police would turn up, Beach would scream at the officers. (Like, wtf?) The more they argued, the more we called, and it was getting very heated. There were incidents where they would recklessly drive off, would scream in the street, one time the police had blocked their car in the middle of the street and she was SCREAMING at everyone, saying things like "he's a drug dealer go arrest him" and other weird statements. We then came to learn he actually is a dealer as we've witnessed multiple deals go on, and Aggro has even gone so far as to leave the house with the children unattended briefly to complete a drop around the corner. It's a LOT of drama.
I have multiple recordings of them arguing, of her screaming, of him acting extremely agressive towards her, sounds of walls being punched, their children crying, her abuse towards her children, with some examples being her stating "get out of my bag you filthy brat, where's my weed" said in a very alarming tone... To her toddler. She has said a lot of alarming things to her children which you just, don't say.
The heat gets bigger and she gets more upset that the police are being called on her all of the time, but any time they are called it's always for a legitimate reason, and I always have proof to back it up. The police have reassured me I'm not doing anything wrong, and to keep doing what I'm doing. At this point, the council are also involved, as much as they can be because most of the issues are for the police to handle, but they're still in the loop. This is where the housing layout is important. Because I am their only neighbour, they assume that it is me and only me who is calling. I have spoken with my other neighbours as we get along well, and they also call when they can hear it. One of them even got involved when Beach was screaming and swearing at her little ones to tell her to knock it off because they're only little. The whole street is sick of them at this point.
Fast forwards a little. One of my good friends takes me grocery shopping sometimes in his van. We had set out, baby in her seat in the back and had got as far as one street over. We had stopped at a junction because a tram had just pulled into the stop on the right, and a bus was also parked in the bus stop on the left. We couldn't move, as there was no clear right of way, so we waited, like literally anyone would. And then we hear beeps. Check the rear view mirrors, and we can see the neighbours car behind us getting impatient. The important thing to note, was that we have been sitting waiting for less than 20 seconds. We then hear the engine get loud, and see that the car is pulling up onto the pavement to undercut us, drive out onto the path near the bus stop and then very quickly speed off over two lanes. I wish I had this recorded because it was so illegal and horrid. We laughed it off, didn't think much of it after.
More time passes, and my parents are visiting to see their grandbaby. Beach has a friend over, let's call her Syko. My parents are parked on the road near the neighbours house, as my driveway is full with two cars who have rented my driveway out through Your Parking Space. Where they have parked is not on the neighbours property, nor is it in front of their property, it is about a car lengths behind - usually where visitors park for our street. Not in front of anyone's driveway or anything, just down the side of another person's house on the road. Syko appears a while after my parents do in her car, along with Beach in her own car and parks in front of her house. Syko parks super close to my mum's car and they're both out there revving their engines, causing a lot of noise. I make a side comment to my mum saying oh be careful they don't hit your car, joking about the previous situation. This causes my mum to go out and check on her car, and we don't think anything of it. I'm cooking my baby breakfast, we're just chilling. Then the shouting happens. I step outside with my dad to see what's going on, and the two are screaming at my mum, my mum is stood startled and confused why she's being screamed at. They turn to me and start screaming at me, "who is this?" In which I reply "none of your business?" Because, well, it isn't? They then get childish and start calling all of us names, saying my mum looks like a bloke and other random nonsense. My mum can't pass at this point as we were certain that she'd get attacked. I'm holding my baby the whole time this is happening so I don't have my phone (which I regret to this day) and I'm just trying to diffuse the situation. Meanwhile they're in their cars and Aggro is stood with the cars giving us a sht eating smirk in my direction. All the while, her children are in the back of her car. They're getting under all of our skins at this point as it's a lot of nonsense going on, when we're just trying to get my mum back in the house. She finally gets to my driveway, the cars start to drive off and I flip them the bird as they drive away. *Oh no, big mistake. (I want to add here, it was really hard to stay calm and be the bigger person this entire time. They have caused my family so much greif, and where I suffer from major anxiety it all got to me. I kept a brave face the entire time, but even the police agreed when I admitted my wrongdoing, they agreed it was hard as they got to me, and what they did next wasn't warranted in the slightest.)
Aggro starts shouting at me, asking why I did that. I stayed calm and just replied, or at least tried to, say something along the lines of well, they can say all of that to us and you're upset by a finger, to which I was interrupted with agression. Talking down to me, towering over me (at this point, my mum has the baby) and I'm just looking back up at him expressionless. He walks away to his house, then starts walking back over chanting "go get your man. I'm gonna fight him" over and over again, shouting louder and louder each time. At this point, the girls get out of their cars, abandoning them in the road along with her children in it, and my "man" (who is actually my wife 🏳️‍⚧️) isn't even home, she's in the office. Aggro spots my dad through my front door and says fine I'll fight you instead, to which my mum quickly gives the baby to him. Aggro steps over my wall, and barges into my house. Yes. He's trespassing with intent to assault. Unfortunately the next part is a haze for me, as my anxiety shoots into fight or flight. I'm pulling Aggro out of my house by his coat, which comes off unfortunately. My mum is then also pushing him out of the house, and we hear Beach shout "get your hands off my man", which looking back at, is hilarious. You're not bothered he's entering someone's house, you don't care he belittles and screams those vile words at you. Ugh, anyway. I'm then suddenly graced with two fists to both sides of my head/face and from then, everything sort of gets blurred. From there, the two are on my driveway screaming at myself and my mum "I'm autistic, I'm disabled", and I mean they're both claiming the same thing. I'm sort of ignoring them at this point, I'm emotionally burnt out and just want to get inside. We finally get inside and lock the door, my dad is on the phone to the police already and the two girls flee the scene. I'm an emotional mess now I finally don't have to keep a straight face, I call my wife to get her to come home, it's just awful. There's blood all over my shirt and face as my lobe was ripped open, my face is marked and I'm a wet sobbing mess.
Police turn up, get everyone's story then go to Aggro to get his story. The girls are on the phone to Aggro instead of present, because if they were present they'd have been arrested. I should add, nobody was arrested at all. PO came back stating that Aggro claims he just wanted to talk, I start crying and hold my tongue as I just wanted to scream at that point. I make sure pictures of my face is taken, numbers were exchanged as my parents aren't from around here and they left. From what I gathered happened was the officers spoke to various neighbours to get CCTV and we're going to get in touch to take statements.
The following day, they have a huge domestic. All day, they're shouting at each other. I'm terrified to call it in and just drown it out, but it gets worse and worse as the day goes on, and there was a lot of physical violence e.g. punching walls, slamming doors. The children are terrified. I finally call it in, but I make sure to have a decent recording. The police attend, diffuse and leave. They call me to obtain the recording, I comply, easy peasy. Things get quiet from there on. We wait for the police to get back to us but we're left in the dark. At this point, the council are aware of the situation and are on our side. The domestics start up again, I'm recording it all, calling it in, they come out and diffuse. We're back to before the incident. Fortunately, at this point I have set up CCTV which records 24/7.
Then the aggravation starts again. They're banging on the walls, screaming through to us. They're reversing up onto our driveway as one of the students isn't there at the time. I'm being heckled when I leave the house to take rubbish out. I'm being watched when I'm hanging my laundry out. It's emotionally draining. I can't sleep, I'm not myself anymore. I've developed PTSD from the incident, I'm having panic attacks, I'm in a very low place. I'm keeping the council informed with what's going on as it's unacceptable antisocial behaviour, I'm also updating the police when I can. I file an online report to explain the trespassing and how it's affecting us and a BEAT team comes out to speak with us. I explain that whilst we know what they're doing isn't technically illegal there's still intent to upset us. They offer to speak with them, we say no because their presence is enough. We're told to keep doing what we're doing, keep recording, keep calling because it's not okay.
A couple weeks pass and everything is quiet. We're still waiting for the original officer to get back to us but nothing. And then it happens. A huge domestic. Record, call, police arrive. Beach is screaming at the officers, they leave and she's back in the house still screaming. Her parents arrive to calm her down and they're all in the garden. Because she's still shouting I go upstairs to record and I record at the exact time she exclaims that she wants to kill me, and she doesn't care if she gets arrested. Big yikes. I call it in and update, I'm then asked to attend the police station. The whole family leave the house, Beach is having a meltdown and the dad is trying to calm her. They take the children away (no car seats, just buckle them in the cars, clearly shown on CCTV) and leave her behind. She then storms into her car, carelessly reverses onto my drive, shouts out of her window and then speeds off. We then flee to the station, speak with an officer, all is filed. They said because the threat was indirect they can't help us as it wouldn't hold up in court, but have major sympathy for us as they know it's awful what's going on.
At this point the log against them is huge. I've contacted the NSPCC to update them on what's happening, all of the concerns from the past year and a half, everything. They are taken back by what's going on, they link in with the police and CPS and we're just waiting for them to do what they need to do. The odd domestic happens here and there, call, police intervene, leave. (I should also note, the incident happened two months ago. Two months.) Things have slowed down, I'm trying to get a reply from the original officer but they're on leave, and it turns out they were trying to find any CCTV for the case before they got back to me.
One morning there was music, loud music. Blaring for quite a while, it's not your average oh they're playing music it's so loud you can't think inside your own home. I report it to the council and they come out to tell them off. Think nothing more of it. We then get a knock on our door later in the afternoon from three lovely officers who ask to speak with us. An anonymous caller proclaimed my wife and I were having a domestic, and our baby was crying. To their surprise, they come in to see our baby happily playing with her toys and us just vibing watching TV. They talk to us separately, we comply, they're happy and agree it was a nonsense call. They had actually attended a domestic in the past, so are aware of the situation. We fill them in on what's been going on and they're shocked. They leave, we see them out, no harm done. I let them know they are always welcome to chat with us. (Fun fact, wasting police time is a criminal offence). About a week ago they're going off on one again, he's calling her everything under the sun, the kids are crying. I hesitate to call it in at this point because I know there will be repercussions, but I brave it. Police come out, they're all outside talking and I can hear Aggro saying they're wasting their time. Police argue they're not. They leave, whatever.
Now for the drama. To set the scene, last week I'm home with the baby, my wife is at work. The police have left. I'm putting my baby down for her first nap of the day, then go to wash my hair. I finish up, and start tidying the kitchen from breakfast when I get a knock on the door from one of the officers from the last call out. I happily invite her in, and she states she needs to check some CCTV with me, I happily oblige. At this point, I'm not being told what's going on yet as she needs to confirm what's been said by the anonymous caller. What we see on the CCTV is the neighbours both leaving at around 9:03. 9:06 was the time of the incident they were proclaiming to have happened. The officer then explains that apparently at 9:06 I was screaming at the baby and she was crying. I laughed and brought up the baby cam showing she's fast asleep, and showed her my baby sleep tracking app, that she's been asleep since 9am. We both agree it was another nonsense call and move on, I wish her a good day and see her out.
Jump to yesterday, Syko, Beach and the other council tenant from across the road are on their front lawn having a very loud discussion about the incident. I open the ring camera to start recording as what they say could be incriminating and useful, as they were basically admitting to what happened. Syko is going off on one saying she'd happily beat me up, Beach is making us sound like were nonsense calling and that the police don't care about us when we call - which was laughable but they are still admitting to it. The neighbour is lapping up the drama and laughing with them, and then suggests that they post a lit bag full of vodka through our letterbox, pointing towards out door. Now, I'm stood with my wife showing her what's being said as it's happening. We're both in shock with what's being said, and I'm having a full body meltdown from the adrenaline. I'm frightened, and appauled. I send an email to the original officer explaining what's happened, that this really isn't okay and linked them the recordings. Now we're waiting for a response.
Phew that took a long time to write out. I'm sorry a lot of it seems like I'm blabbering, but when everything is put in the same basket, you can see that all of these events are horrible and inexcusable.
I will also add, after the first nonsense call, the council manager went to speak with her and her specialist at the property, and he called me to explain that she does in fact have autism, and she wants to let me know that she's sorry for what's happened. I replied almost laughing stating that what she has done is not okay, and just because she has autism doesn't mean her actions are justified AT ALL. We now know she really isn't sorry, proven by what followed with what I mentioned above.
What the heck do I do. I'm an emotional mess, the police are trying to help as much as they can but it's a long slow process. I can't move house, I'm on a long waiting list for psychotherapy, my wife is afraid to leave the house as her true self in fear of a hate crime as they have previously made a not so subtle side comment about her hair before, it's eating us alive. We're speaking with one of our neighbours who knows the other neighbour who may have gotten the incident on CCTV, but they're too fed up with getting involved with the police which is why it was never submitted in the first place. A lot of mistakes were made, I should have spoken to them sooner to convince them to send us the footage but I also think it was understandable as I'm having to live like a hermit in hopes I'm not targeted by these insane people. We need help, and I don't know who to turn to anymore.
TLDR:
Next door neighbours are having frequent domestic arguments with their children present. We are targeted by them as we call the police when they have these arguments. Young children / infant is present with all of this. Mother is abusive to said children, Father is an drug dealer with serious anger issues. I was attacked outside my home after a parking dispute by them. No CCTV evidence (yet, hopefully). Father trespassed in my home to assault my father but didn't succeed. Continuing domestic violence, continued aggravation towards us. They're getting desperate so call the police about fake incidents at our property. They're trespassing on our property to get a raise out of us but police can't intervene. Whole street is fed up with these crazy people living on our street. Council can't help. Mental health is in the pit as I can't leave the house without being heckled or my wife being put at risk for transphobia. We are stuck with what to do.

I noticed in my reporting that there are daily visits from Iowa city called Council Bluffs only to my website's homepage. The amount of visits average from 40-200 each day and is throwing my statistics off.
I did some research and found this:
"Shopify runs the speed report using a Google Developer tool (the Google data centre is based in Council Bluffs, USA) which tests 3 pages, Homepage, a popular collection page and a popular product page. Shopify then compares this result to other similar Shopify sites. This test is run daily!"
I just wanted to check out if others are having these speed checks/bot visitors so much recently and if there is anyway to stop/limit those visits or even IP ban them. I just woke up and there have been 64 visits from Council Bluffs already. I wonder if shopify is currently quietly fixing some bugs that people have been speculating them to have in customer checkout pages since late April / early May.

They didn’t tell us the name of the next kid that disappeared. They didn’t tell us another kid had disappeared at all. We could all tell by the silence what had happened. It spoke volumes. I’m sure they talked about it in great detail amongst themselves. In PTA meetings and City Councils. My parents made sure to turn off the TV at 5 o’clock before the news came on, at least in my home. They’d turn it back on for the 11 o’clock news, when were were in bed and couldn’t hear the details.
The strange thing is, they never told us to just stop going outside. They told us to go in groups, sure, but they never decided, or as far as I could tell even though, to keep us all indoors. I guess that sort of freedom wasn’t something they were willing to give up. Instead, they did the neighborhood watch thing. For those few months, I remember my folks meeting more of our neighbors than in all the time previously, or since. Retirees would spend their days out in their front lawns, watching kids and everybody else coming and going. They’d even set up lawn furniture, with umbrellas, even all through the rains of spring. Cops stopped sitting in ambushes on the highways waiting for speeders and instead started patrolling the streets, chatting with us as we’d pass by. Weekends would see all the adults out in their yards, working on cars in the driveways, fixing the gutters, and so on. They had this weird way of looking at you as you’d ride by. Not hostile stares, but it was like they were cataloging your presence. Boy, eight years old, red raincoat silver bike, about 11:30 in the morning, heading south on Sorensen. Seemed fine.
The next time we saw it, it wasn’t in our neighborhood, and I was the one who saw it first. We were visiting Russ, a sort of 5th semi-friend from school. We rarely hung out, mostly owing to geography. His house wasn’t far as the crow flies, but it was up a steep hill. We spent a Saturday afternoon returning a cache of comic books we’d borrowed. The distance we covered was substantial, as we had decided to take lots of extra streets as switchbacks, rather than slowly push our bikes up the too-steep hills.
The descent was going to be the highlight of the trip, up until I saw the Hidebehind. We were on a curving road, a steep forested bluff on one side. The uphill slope was mostly ivy-covered raised foundations for the neighborhood’s houses. That side of the road was lined with parked cars, and the residents of the homes had to ascend steep staircases to get to their front doors.
I was ayt the back of the pack when I caught movement out of the corner of my eye. Movement, something brown squatting between two closely parked cars. My head snapped as I zoomed past, and despite not getting a good look, I knew it was that terrible thing. “It’s behind us!” I shouted and started pedaling hard. The others looked for themselves as I quickly rushed past them, but they soon joined my pace.
Ralph’s earlier idea of directly confronting the thing was set aside. We were moving too fast, and down too narrow a street to turn around. Then we saw it again it was to our left, off-road, between the trees. Suddenly it leaped from behind one tree trunk to the next and disappeared again. That hardly made sense, the base of the trees must have been thirty feet below the deck of the street we rode down. One of us, I think it was India, let out one of those strangled screams.
There it was again, back on the right, disappearing behind a mailbox as we approached. That couldn’t have been, it must have outpaced us and crossed in front of us. Logic would suggest there was more than one, but somehow the four of us knew it was the same thing. More impossible still, the pole holding up the mailbox was too thin, maybe two inches in diameter, yet that thing had disappeared behind it, like a Warner Bros. cartoon character. It was just enough to catch a better glimpse of it though. All brown. A head seemingly too bulbous and large for its body. Its limbs were thin but far longer, like a gibbon’s. Only a gibbon had normal elbows and knees. This thing bent its joints all wrong like it wasn’t part of the natural order. We were all terrified to wit’s end.
“The trail!” Ralph shouted, and the other three of us knew exactly what he meant. The top of it was only just around the curve. It was a dirt footpath for pedestrians ascending and descending South Hill, cutting through the woods on our left. It was too steep for cars, and to be honest, too steep for bikes. We’d played on it before, challenging each other to see how high up they could go, then descend back down without using our brakes. A short paved cul-de-sac at the bottom was enough space to stop before running into a cross street.
Ralph had held the previous group record, having climbed three-quarters of the way before starting his mad drop. India’s best was just short of that, I had only dared about halfway up, Ben only a third. This time, with certain death on our heels, the trail seemed the only way out. Nothing could have outrun a kid on a bike flying down that hill.
We followed Ralph’s lead, swinging to the right gutter of the street, then hanging a fast wide left up onto the curb, over a patch of gravel, between two boulders set up as bollards, lest a car driver mistake the entrance for a driveway, and then, like a roller coaster cresting the first hill, the bottom fell out.
It was the most overwhelming sensation of motion I’ve ever had, before or since. I suppose the danger behind us was the big reason, and being absolutely certain that only our speed was keeping us alive. I remember thinking it was like the speeder bike scene from Return of the Jedi, also a recent movie from the time. Only this was real. I didn’t just see the trees flashing past it, I could hear the motion as well. Cold air attacked my eyes and long streamers of tears rushed over my cheeks and the drops flew past my ears, I didn’t dare blink. Each little stone my tires struck threatened to up-end me and end it all. Yet, and perhaps worse, half the time it felt like I wasn’t in contact with the ground at all. I was going so fast that those same small stones were sending me an inch or two into the air, and the arc of the flights so closely matched the slope that by the time I contacted the trail again, I was significantly further down the hill.
At the same time, I had never felt more relief, as the thing behind us had no way of catching us now. Somehow, maybe the seriousness of the escape gave us both the motive and the seriousness to keep ourselves under control. Looking back, I marvel that at least one of us didn’t lose control and end up splitting our skulls open.
We hit the pavement of the cul-de-sac below, and didn’t bother to slow down. We raced through the cross-street, one angry driver screeching to a halt and laying on his horn. This brought out the neighborhood watch. Just a few of them at first. Still, we didn’t slow down, our momentum carried us back up the much shallower slope of our neighborhood. Witnesses saw us depart at high speed, and this only brought out more of the watch. We heard whistles behind us, just like our P.E. teacher’s whistle. We figured that was the watch’s alarm siren. Regardless of what happened to that thing, it was behind us. We returned to our homes, shaken, but safe and sound, our inertia taking us almost all of the way there.
Another kid disappeared that Sunday, up on South Hill. We’d suspected it because we could see the lights of the police cars on a high road, surrounding the spot where it would turn out later, one of the kid’s shoes had been found. Russ confirmed it at school on Monday. It was a kid he’d known, lived down the road from his place, went to private school which is why we didn’t recognize his name.
I remember seeing Ralph’s face the next day when he arrived at school. He looked angry. Strong. Like he’d been crying really hard, and now it was over and he was resolved. He said he’d felt guilty because the thing we’d escaped from had gotten the other kid instead. He tried to tell his old man about it, then his mom, then any adult he could. He’d tell them about the monster who hides behind things. They needed to focus on finding and stopping that instead of looking for some sort of creeper or serial killer. Of course, nobody had listened to him. They hadn’t listened to the rest of us either when we’d tried to tell.
So he’d devised a plan. He was calling it the “Fight Patrol,” which we didn’t argue with. If the adults wouldn’t do something, we would. We’d patrol our neighborhood on our bikes, the four of us, maybe a couple more if we could talk others into it. We’d chase it off like that first time, maybe for good, or maybe corner it. Clearly, it could not handle being caught.
Naturally, we brought up the scare on South Hill. He argued that was a bad place. Too isolated, couldn’t turn around easily. We needed to stay on our home turf, lots of visibility, and plenty of the Neighborhood Watch within earshot. Maybe we and the adults working together was the key, even if the adults didn’t understand the problem.
Well, that convinced us. Our first patrol was that afternoon, after school. We watched everybody’s back like hawks. Nothing had a chance to sneak up on us. Nothing could step out from behind a bush without getting spotted. By Friday afternoon there were eight of us. The next week we split up to extend our territory to the next neighborhoods over.
Nothing happened. We never saw anything. Ben thought it was because we were scaring it away. Ralph just thought we were failing, and took it personally. I myself thought the thing had just moved to different parts of town, where the new disappearances were taking place. I told him we should keep it up until the thing was caught.
It was all for naught.
One day, India didn’t show up for school. I asked everybody, the teachers, the office staff, the custodian, my parents. All of them said they didn’t know, and it was so easy to tell that they were lying. That would mark the end of the Fight Patrol.
Ben didn’t show up a couple of days after that. When I got home and collapsed into bed, my mother came in to tell me that Ben’s mother had called. She’d taken him out of school and they were moving elsewhere. I called up Ralph to let him know the news, and he was relieved too.
My last day was Friday, and then I was taken out. Again, I called Ralph so he wouldn’t worry. I guess when there were only two weeks left of school, and it was just grade school, a couple missed weeks don’t amount to much. So I ended up spending the bulk of the summer out in the country, with my grandparents, which was why I brought up my grandpa in the first place.
I suppose I did fine out on their farmhouse. I was safe. There was certainly no shortage of things for a kid to do. I think my mom felt a strong sense of relief too. Things slipped through the cracks.
My grandparents didn’t have cable, too far out of town. They just had an old-school antenna and got a couple of TV stations transmitting out of Canada, Vancouver specifically. I remember one July day, sitting in their living room. My grandmother had just fixed lunch for me and my grandfather and had gone out to do some gardening as we watched the news at noon.
My grandfather was already being ravaged by his illnesses. He was able to get around, but couldn’t do any real labor anymore. He’d lounge in front of the TV in a special lounge chair. He hardly talked, and when he did he’d just mumble some discomfort or complaint to my grandma.
The lead story on the news was the current situation in Farmingham, despite being in the neighboring country, it was still big news in Vancouver, and the whole rest of the region. It seemed the disappearances were declining, but the police were still frantically searching for a supposed serial killer. I didn’t pick up much about what they were talking about, I was a kid after all, but my grandfather was watching intently, despite his infirmity.
He mumbled something, I didn’t catch. I asked him was he said, and as I approached I heard him say “fearsome critters.”
He turned his eyes to me and said again, distinct and in a normal tone of voice, “fearsome critters,” then returned his attention to the screen. “I don’t know why they call them that. Fearsome, sure. But ‘critters?” Makes it sound silly. Like it's some sort of fairy tale that it ain’t. Guess it’s like whistling past the graveyard. Well, they don’t have to worry about them no more, guess they can call them what they like.”
Then he turned to me. “Do you know what it is?” he asked. “Squonk? Hodag? Gouger? Hidebehind?”
“Hidebehind,” I whispered, and he turned back to the TV with a sneer. I had no idea what on earth he was talking about. Remember, this would be years before I learned he spent his youth as a lumberjack. And yet, somehow, I knew exactly what we were talking about.
“Hidebehind,” he repeated. “That will do it. They give them such stupid names. The folk back East, that is. Wisconsin. Minnesota. Ohio. Way back in the old days, before my grandfather would have been your age. Back when those places were covered by forests. They didn’t give them silly names back then, no. Back then they were something to worry about. Then they moved on, though. They all went out West, to here, followed the loggers. So as once they didn’t have to worry about them anymore, they started making up silly stories, silly names. “Fearsome critters,” they’d call them. Just tall tales to tell the greenhorns and scare them out of their britches. Then they’d make them even sillier, and tell the stories to little kids to spook them.”
“Not out here they didn’t tell no stories nor make up any names. It was bad enough they followed us out. I had no clue they even existed until I saw one for myself. Bout your age, I suppose. Maybe a little older. Nobody ever talks about them. Not even when they take apart a work crew, one by one. They just pull the crews back. Wait till mid-summer when the land is dry but not too dry. Then they move the crews in, a lot of them. Do some burning, make a lot of smoke. Drives them deeper into the woods, you know. Then you can cut the whole damn place down. But nobody asks why, nobody tells why. The people who know just take care of it.”
“I guess that’s why they’re coming to us now. All the old woods are almost gone. So they’ve got to. Like mountain lions. I supposed it’s going to happen sooner or later.”
We heard my grandma come into the back door to the utility room, and stomp the dirt off her boots. My grandfather turned to me one last time and said, “Whichever way you look at it, somebody’s just got to take care of it.” Then my grandmother came in from the utility room and asked us how our lunch had been.
Now that I look back at it, that might have been the last time my grandfather and I really had a meaningful talk.
We moved back home in late August. I had been having a fantastic summer. Though looking back, I suppose it could be rough for a still-young woman to be living in her aging parents' house when she’s got a perfectly good husband and house of her own in town.
First thing I did was visit Ralph. He’d been busy. He’d fortified his treehouse into a proper, well, tree fort. He’d nailed a lot of reinforcing plywood over everything. He hadn’t gone out on patrols by himself, of course, but the height of the tree fort afforded him a view of the nearest streets. He’d also made some makeshift weapons out of old baseball bats, a hockey stick, and a garden rake. The sharp rocks he’d attached to them with masking tape didn’t look very secure, but it’d only take one or two good blows with that kind of firepower. He also explained he’d been teaching himself kung fu, by copying all the movies he saw on kung fu movies late at night on the unpopular cable channels. That was classic Ralph.
As for the monster, it seemed to be going away. Its last victim had disappeared weeks previously, part of the reason my mom felt it was time to go back. This had been at night too. What’s more, the victim had been a college student, a very petite lady, barely five feet tall, under a hundred pounds. The news had speculated that their presumptive serial killer had assumed she was a child. I remember thinking the Hidebehind didn’t care. Maybe it just thought she couldn’t run fast enough to get away or put up a fight when he caught her. Like a predator.
At any rate, the college students were incensed. Of course, they’d been hyper-alert and concerned when it was just local kids going missing. Now that it was one of their own the camel’s back had broken. They really went hard on the protests, blaming the local police for not doing enough.
They started setting up their own patrols, and at night too. Marches with sometimes dozens of students at a time. They called it “Take Back the Night.” They’d walk the streets, making sure they’d be heard. Some cared drums or tambourines. They’d help escort people home, and sometimes they’d unintentionally stop random crimes they’d happen across. I felt like this was what the Fight Patrol could have been, if we’d just been old enough, or had been listened to. This would be the endgame for the Hidebehind, one way or another.
I stayed indoors the rest of the summer, and really there wasn’t much left. It doesn’t get too hot in the Pacific Northwest, nobody has air conditioners, or at least we didn’t back then. It will get stuffy though, in August, and I liked to sleep with my window open. I could hear the chants and challenges from the student patrols on their various routes. Sometimes I could hear them coming from far away, and every now and then they’d pass down my street. It felt like a wonderful security blanket.
I also liked the honeysuckle my mother had planted around the perimeter of the house. Late at night, if I was struggling to fall asleep, the air in my bedroom would start to circulate. Cold air would start pouring in over my windowsill, bringing the sweet scent of that creepervine with it, and I’d the sensation before finally passing out.
This one night, and I have no knowledge if I was awake, asleep, or drifting off, but the air in the room changed, and cooler air poured over the windowsill and swept over my bed, but it didn’t carry the sweet smell of honeysuckle. Regardless of my initial state, I was alert pretty quickly. It was a singularly unpleasant smell. A bit like death, which at that age I was mostly unfamiliar with, except a time some animal had died underneath the crawlspace of our house. There was more to it, though. The forest, the deep forest. I don’t know and still don’t know, what that meant. Most smells I associate with the forest are pleasant. Cedar, pine needles, thick loam of the forest floor, campfires, even the creosote and turpentine of those old timey-logging camps. This was none of those smells. Maybe… rotting granite, and the spores of slime molds. Mummified hemlocks and beds of needles compressed into something different than soil. It disturbed me.
So I sat up in bed. I hadn’t noticed before, but I’d been sweating, just lightly in the stuffy summer night heat. Now it was turning cold. Before me was my bedroom window. A lit rectangle in a pitch-dark room. To either side were my white, opened curtains, the one on the right, by the open half of the window, stirred just slightly in the barely perceptible breeze.
Most of the rectangle was the black form of the protective cypress tree. Only the slight conical nature of the tree distinguished it from a perfectly vertical column. To either side was a dim soft orange glow coming from the sodium lamps of the street passing by our house. It was perhaps a bit diffuse from the screen set in my window to keep out mosquitos. In the distance was the sound of an approaching troupe of the Take Back the Night patrol. They were neither drumming nor chanting, but still making plenty of noise. They were, perhaps, three or four blocks away, and heading my way.
For some reason that I didn’t understand, I got up, off of the foot of the bed. The window, being closer, appeared bigger. I took a silent step further. The patrol approached closer. Another step. I leaned to my right, just a bit, getting a slightly wider view to the left of the cypress tree. That was the direction the patrol was coming from.
That was when it resolved. The deeper black silhouette within the black silhouette of the cypress tree. A small lithe frame with a too-bulbous head. It too leaned, in its case, to the left, to see around the cypress tree as the patrol approached. They reached our block,on the other side of the street. A dozen rowdy college students, not trying to be quiet. None of them fearing the night. Each feeling safe and determined, and absorbed in their own night out rather than being overtly sensitive to their surroundings. They were distracted, unfocused If they had been peering into the shadows, if just one of them had looked towards my house, behind the cypress tree, they might have seen the Hidebehind, poking its face out and watching them transit past. But they didn’t notice.
It hid behind the cypress tree, and I hid behind it, hoping that the blackness of my bedroom would protect me. I stood absolutely still, as I had done once when a hornet had once landed on the back of my neck. Totally assure that if I made the slightest movement or made the slightest sound that I’d be stung. I hardly even breathed.
The patrol passed, from my perspective, behind the cypress tree and temporarily out of view. The Hidebehind straightened, ready to lean to the right and watch the patrol pass, only it didn’t lean. Even as I watched the patrol pass on to the right, it stood there, stock still, just as I was doing.
It was then I became aware that my room had become stuffy again. The scent was gone. The air had shifted and was now flowing out through the screen again, carrying my own scent with it. I knew what this meant, and yet I was too paralyzed to react. The thing started to turn, very slowly. It was a predator understanding that it might have become victim to its own game. It turned as if it was thinking the same thing I had been thinking, that the slightest movement might give it away.
It turned, and I saw its face. Like some kind of rotting desiccated, shriveling fruit, it was covered in wrinkles. Circles within concentric circles surrounded its two great eyes, eyes which took up so much of its face. I couldn’t, and still struggle, to think of words to describe it. Instead, I still think in terms of analogies. At the time I thought of the creature from the film E.T., only twisted and distorted into a thing of nightmares. Almost all eyelids, and a little drooping sucker mouth. Now that I’m more worldly, it reminds of creatures of ancient artworks. The key defining feature were the long horizontal slits it had for eyes. You see that in old masks carved in West Africa, or by the Inuit long ago. You see it in what’s called the “slit-eyed dogu” of ancient Japan.
As I watched the wrinkles on the face seemed to multiply. Then I realized this was the result of its eyes slowly widening. It’s mouth, too, slowly dilated, revealing innumerable small razor-sharp teeth. A person, standing in its location, shouldn’t have been able to see in. Light from the sodium streetlamps lit the window’s screen, obscuring the interior. It was no person. It could see me, and it was reacting to my presence. Its eyes grew huge, black.
My own eyes would have been just as wide if not for my own anatomical limitations. I was still watching when it disappeared. It didn’t see it move to the right. I didn’t see it move to the left, nor did I see it drop down out of view. It simply disappeared. One fraction of a second it was there, and then it decided to leave, and so it did. It was not a thing of this world.
There were no more disappearances after that poor woman from the university. I don’t think it had anything to do with me. The media and police all speculated their “serial killer” had gone into a “dormant phase”. There was no shortage of people who tried to take credit. Maybe they deserve it. The thing’s hunting had been on the decline. All the neighborhood watches and student patrols, I think that maybe all that commotion was making it too hard for the Hidebehind to go about its business. Maybe it had gone back to the woods.
Then again, maybe Ralph had been right the whole time. Maybe it really, really, really didn’t like to be seen.
So.
Now I’ve got some decisions to make. I think the first thing I should do is look at social media and dig up Ralph. It’s been a good thirty years since I last talked to him. He ought to know the Hidebehind is back. He’s probably made plans.
Then, there’s the issue of my son. He’s up in his bedroom now, probably still mad at me. Probably confused about why I’d be so strict. Maybe he’s inventing explanations as to why.
I’m not sure, but I’m leaning toward telling him everything. He deserves to know. It’d probably be safer if he knows. I think people have this instinct where, when they see or know something that they’re not supposed to know, they just bottle it up. I think that was the problem with grown-ups when I was a kid. It was the issue with my grandfather, telling me so little when it was almost too late. I think people do it because we’re social animals, and we’re afraid of being ostracized. Go along to get along.
Hell, my son is probably going to think I’m crazy. It might even make him more mad at me. And even more confused. He knows about the disappearances. “The Farmingham Fiend” the media would end up dubbing the serial killer that didn’t really exist. It’s become local “true crime” history. Kids tell rumors about it. It was almost forty years ago, so it probably feels safe to wonder about.
So yeah, I suppose when I say I know who the real killer was, a magical monster from the woods that stalks its prey by hiding behind objects, then impossibly disappears- that I’m going to look like a total nut. I’d think that if I were in his shoes.
Except… people are going to start disappearing again, it’s only a matter of time. The media will say that the Farmingham Fiend is back in the game. Will my son buy that? He’ll start thinking about what I told him, and how I predicted it. Then he’ll remember that he saw the thing himself, he and his friends, even if it was just out of the corner of his eye.
I hope, sooner or later, he’ll believe me. I could use his help. Maybe Ralph is way ahead of me, but I’m thinking we should get the Fight Patrol back together. Father and son, this time. Multigenerational, get the retirees involved too.
Old farts of my generation, for reasons I don’t understand, like to wax nostalgic over their own false sense of superiority. We rode our bikes without helmets and had distant if not irresponsible parents. Yeah, yeah, what a load. I think every new generation is better than the last, because every generation is a progression from the last, Kids these days? They’ve got cell phones, with cameras. And helmet cams. GoPros you can attach to bikes. Doorbell cameras.
It seems the Hidebehind loathes being seen. This time around, with my grandfather’s spirit, my own memories, and my boy’s energy? I think this time we’re finally going to beat it.

There are instincts that you develop when you’re a parent. If you don’t have any children it might be a little hard to understand. If you have a toddler, for example, and they’re in the other room and silent for more than a few seconds, there’s a good chance they’re up to no good. I take that back, most of the time they’re doing nothing, but you still have to check. You feel a compulsion to check. I don’t think it’s a learned skill, I think it’s an actual instinct.
Paleolithic parents who didn’t check on their toddlers every few minutes, just to double check that they weren’t being stalked by smilodons were unlikely to have grandchildren and pass on their genes. You just feel you need to check, like getting goosebumps, a compulsion. I suppose it’s the same reason little kids are always demanding you look at them and what they’re doing.
I think that instinct starts to atrophy as your kids grow. They start learning to do things for themselves, and before you know it, they’re after their own privacy, not your attention. I don’t think it ever goes away though. I expect, decades from now, my own grown kids will visit and bring my grandkids with them. And the second I hear a baby crying in the earliest morning hours, I’ll be alert and ready for anything, sure as any old soldier who hears his name whispered in the dark of night.
I felt that alarm just the other day. First time in years. My boy came home from riding bikes with a couple of his friends. I’m pretty sure they worked out a scam where they asked each of their parents for a different new console for Christmas, and now they spend their weekends traveling between the three houses so they can play on all of them.
We all live in a nice neighborhood. A newer development than the one I grew up in, same town though. It’s the kind of place where kids are always playing in the streets, and the cars all routinely do under 20. My wife and I make sure the kids have helmets and pads, and we’re fine with the boy going out biking with his friends, as long as they stay in the neighborhood.
You know, a lot of people in my generation take some weird sort of pride in how irresponsible we used to be when we were young. I never wore a helmet. Rode to places, without telling any adults, that we never should have ridden to. Me and my friends would make impromptu jumps off of makeshift ramps and try to do stupid tricks, based loosely on stunts we’d seen on TV. Other people my age seem to wax nostalgic for that stuff and pretend it makes them somehow better people. I don’t get it. Sometimes I look back and shudder. We were lucky we escaped with only occasional bruises and road burns. It could have gone so much worse.
My son and his buddies came bustling in the front door at about 2 PM on a Saturday. They did the usual thing of raiding the kitchen for juice and his mother’s brownies, and I took that as my cue to abandon the television in the living room for my office. I was hardly noticing the chaos, by this point, it was becoming a regular weekend occurrence. But as I was just leaving, I caught something in the chatter. My boy said something about, “... that guy who was following us.”
He hadn’t said it any louder or more clearly than anything else they’d been talking about, all that stuff I’d been filtering out. Yet some deeper core process in my brain stem heard it, interpreted it, then hit the red alert button. My blood ran cold and every hair on my skin stood at attention.
I turned around and asked “Somebody followed you? What are you talking about?” I wasn’t consciously aware of how strict and stern my voice came out, yet when the jovial smiles dropped off of their faces it was apparent that it had been so.
“Huh?” my son said, his voice high-pitched and talking fast, like when he thinks he’s in trouble and needs to explain. “We thought we saw somebody following us. There wasn’t though. We didn’t really see anybody and we’d just spooked ourselves.”
“What did he look like?” I asked.
“Nothing? We really didn’t see anybody! Honest! I just saw something out of the corner of my eye! But there wasn’t really nobody there!”
“Yeah!,” said one of his buds. “Peripheral! Peripheral vision! I thought maybe I saw something too, but when I looked I didn’t see anything. I don’t have my glasses with me, but when I really looked I got a good look and there was nothing.”
The three boys had that semi-smiling but still concerned look that this was only a bizarre misunderstanding, but they were still being very sincere. “Were they in a car?”
“No, Dad, you don’t get it,” my boy continued, “They were small. We thought it was a kid.”
“Yeah,” said the third boy. “We thought maybe it was Tony Taylor’s stupid kid sister shadowing us. Getting close to throwing water balloons. Just cause she did that before.”
“If you didn’t get a good look how did you know it was a kid?”
“Because it was small!” my kid explained, though that wasn’t helping much. “What I mean is, at first I thought it was behind a little bush. It was way too small a bush to hide a grown-up. That’s why we thought it was probably Tony’s sister.”
“But you didn’t actually see Tony’s sister?” I asked.
“Nah,” said one of his buds. “And now that I think about it, that bush was probably too small for his sister too. It would have been silly. Like when a cartoon character hides behind a tiny object.”
“That’s why we think it was just in our heads,” explained the other boy, “That and the pole.”
“Yeah,” my son said. “The park on 14th and Taylor?” That was just a little community park, a single city block. Had a playground, lawn, a few trees, and some benches. “Anyway, we were riding past that, took a right on Taylor. And we were talking about how weird it would be if somebody really were following us. That’s when Brian thought he saw something. Behind a telephone pole.”
“I didn’t get a good look at it either,” the friend, Brian, “explained. Just thought I did. Know how you get up late at night to use the bathroom or whatever and you look down the hallway and you see a jacket or an office chair or something and because your eyes haven’t adjusted you think you see a ghost or burglar or something? Anyway, I thought I saw something out of the corner of my eye, but when I turned there wasn’t anything there.”
“Yeah, it was just like sometimes that happens, except this time it happened twice on the same bike ride, is all,” the other friend explained.
“And you’re sure there was nothing there?”
“Sure we’re sure,” my boy said. “We know because that time we checked. We each rode our bikes around the pole and there was nothing. Honest!”
“Hmmm,” I said. The whole thing seemed reasonable and nothing to be concerned about, you’d think.. The boys seemed to relax at my supposed acceptance. “Alright, sounds good. Hey, just let me know before you leave the house again, alright?” They all rushed to seem agreeable as I left the room, then quickly resumed their snacking and preceded to play their games.
I kept my ear out, just in case. My boy, at least this time, dutifully told me his friends were about to leave. He wasn’t very happy with me when I said they wouldn’t be riding home on their bikes, I was going to drive them home. The other boys didn’t complain, but I suppose it wasn’t their place, so my boy did the advocating for them, which I promptly ignored. I hate doing that, ignoring my kid’s talkback. My dad was the same way. It didn’t help that I struggled to get both of their bikes in the trunk, and it was a pain to get them back out again. My boy sulked in the front seat on the short ride back home. Arms folded on chest, eyes staring straight ahead, that lip thing they do. He seemed embarrassed for having what he thought was an over-protective parent. I suppose he was angry at me as well for acting, as far as he knew, irrationally. Maybe he thought he was being punished for some infraction he didn’t understand.
Well, it only got worse when we got home. I told him he wasn’t allowed to go out alone on his bike anymore. I’d only had to do that once before, when he was grounded, and back then he’d known exactly what he’d done wrong and he had it coming. Now? Well, he was confused, furious, maybe betrayed, probably a little brokenhearted? I can’t blame him. He tramped upstairs to his room to await the return of his mother, who was certain to give a sympathetic ear. I can’t imagine how upset he’ll be if he checks the garage tomorrow and finds I’ve removed his tires, just in case.
I wish I could explain it to him. I don’t even know how.
Where should I even begin? The town?
When I was about my son’s age I had just seen that movie, The Goonies. It had just come out in theaters. I really liked that movie, felt a strong connection. A lot of people do, can’t blame them, sort of a timeless classic. Except I wasn’t really into pirate’s treasure or the Fratellis, what really made me connect was a simple single shot, still in the first act. It’s right after they cross the threshold, and leave the house on their adventure. It was a shot of the boys, from above, maybe a crane shot or a helicopter shot, as they’re riding their bikes down a narrow forested lane, great big evergreen trees densely growing on the side of the road, they’re all wearing raincoats and the road is still wet from recent rain.
That was my childhood. I’ve spent my whole life in the Pacific Northwest. People talk to outsiders about the rain, and they might picture a lot of rainfall, but it’s not the volume, it’s the duration. We don’t get so much rain, it just drizzles slowly, on and on, for maybe eight or nine months out of the year. It doesn’t matter where I am, inside a house, traveling far abroad, anywhere I am I can close my eyes and still smell the air on a chilly afternoon, playing outdoors with my friends.
It’s not petrichor, that sudden intense smell you get when it first starts to rain after a long dry spell. No, this was almost the opposite, a clean smell, almost the opposite of a scent, since the rain seemed to scrub the air clean. The strongest scent and I mean that in the loosest sense possible, must have been the evergreen needles. Not pine needles, those were too strong, and there weren’t that many pines anyway. Douglas fir and red cedar predominated, again the root ‘domination’ seems hyperbole. Yet those scents were there, ephemeral as it is. Also, there was a sort of pleasant dirtiness to the smell, at least when you rode bikes. It wasn’t dirt, or mud, or dust. Dust couldn’t have existed except perhaps for a few fleeting weeks in August. I think, looking back, it was the mud puddles. All the potholes in all the asphalt suburban roads would fill up after rain with water the color of chocolate milk. We’d swerve our BMX bikes, or the knock-off brands, all the way across the street just to splash through those puddles and test our “suspensions.,” meaning our ankles and knees. The smell was always stronger after that. It had an earthiness to it. Perhaps it was petrichor’s lesser-known watery cousin.
There were other sensations too, permanently seared into my brain like grill marks. A constant chilliness that was easy to ignore, until you started working up a good heart rate on your bike, then you noticed your lungs were so cold it felt like burning. The sound of your tires on the wet pavement, particularly when careening downhill at high speed. For some reason, people in the mid-80s used to like to decorate their front porches with cheap, polyester windsocks. They were often vividly colored, usually rainbow, like prototype pride flags. When an occasional wind stirred up enough to gust, the windsocks would flap, and owning to the water-soaked polyester, make a wet slapping sound. It was loud, it was distinct, but you learned to ignore it as part of the background, along with the cawing of crows and distant passing cars.
That was my perception of Farmingham as a kid. The town itself? Just a typical Pacific Northwest town. That might not mean much for younger people or modern visitors, but there was a time when such towns were all the same. They were logging towns. It was the greatest resource of the area from the late 19th century, right up until about the 80s, when the whole thing collapsed. Portland, Seattle, they had a few things going on beyond just the timber industry, but all the hundreds of little towns and small cities revolved around logging, and my town was no exception.
I remember going to the museum. It had free admission, and it was a popular field trip destination for the local school system. It used to be the City Hall, a weird Queen Anne-style construction. Imagine a big Victorian house, but blown up to absurd proportions, and with all sorts of superfluous decorations. Made out of local timber, of course. They had a hall for art, I can’t even remember why, now. Maybe they were local artists. I only remember paintings of sailboats and topless women, which was a rare sight for a kid at the time. There was a hall filled with 19th-century household artifacts. Chamber pots and weird children's toys.
Then there was the logging section, which was the bulk of the museum. It’s strange how different things seemed to be in the early days of the logging industry, despite being only about a hundred years old, from my perspective in the 1980s. If you look back a hundred years from today, in the 1920s, you had automobiles, airplanes, electrical appliances, jazz music, radio programs, flappers, it doesn’t feel that far removed, does it? No TV, no internet, but it wouldn’t be that strange. 1880s? Different world.
Imagine red cedars, so big you could have a full logging crew, arms stretched out, just barely manage to encircle one for a photographer. Felling a single tree was the work of days. Men could rest and eat their lunches in the shelter of a cut made into a trunk, and not worry for safety or room. They had to cut their own little platforms into the trees many feet off the ground, just so the trunk was a little bit thinner, and thus hours of labor saved. They used those long, flexible two-man saws. And double-bit axes. They worked in the gloom of the shade with old gas lanterns. Once cut down from massive logs thirty feet in diameter, they’d float the logs downhill in sluices, like primitive wooden make-shift water slides. Or they’d haul them down to the nearest river, the logs pulled by donkeys on corduroy roads. They’d lay large amounts of grease on the roads, so the logs would slide easily. You could still smell the grease on the old tools on display in the museum. The bigger towns had streets where the loggers would slide the logs down greased skids all the way down to the sea, where they’d float in big logjams until the mills were ready for processing. They’d call such roads “skid-rows.” Because of all the activity, they’d end up being the worst parts of town. Local citizens wouldn’t want to live there, due to all the stink and noise. They’d be on the other side of the brothels and the opium dens. It would be the sort of place where the destitute and the insane would find themselves when they’d finally lost anything. To this day, “skidrow” remains a euphemism for the part of a city where the homeless encamp.
That was the lore I’d learned as a child. That was my “ancestry” I was supposed to respect and admire, which I did, wholeheartedly. There were things they left out, though. Things that you might have suspected, from a naive perspective, would be perfect for kids, all the folklore that came with the logging industry. The ghost stories, and the tall tales. I would have eaten that up. They do talk about that kind of thing in places far removed from the Pacific Northwest. But I had never heard about any of it. Things like the Hidebehind. No, that I’d have to discover for myself.
There were four of us on those bike adventures. Myself. Ralph, my best friend. A tough guy, the bad boy, the most worldly of us, which is a strange thing to say about an eight-year-old kid. India, an archetypal ‘80s tomboy. She was the coolest person I knew at the time. Looking back, I wonder what her home life was like. I think I remember problematic warning signs that I couldn’t have recognized when I was so young, but now raise flags. Then there was Ben. A goofy kid, a wild mop of hair, coke bottle glasses, type 1 diabetic which seemed to make him both a bit pampered by his mother, who was in charge of all his insulin, diet, and schedule, and conversely a real risk taker when she wasn’t around.
When we first saw it…
No, wait. This was the problem with starting the story. Where does it all begin? I’ll need to talk about my Grandfather as well. I’ve had two different perspectives on my Grandfather, on the man that he was. The first was the healthy able-bodied grandparent I’d known as a young child. Then there was the man, as I learned about him after he had passed.
There was a middle period, from when I was 6 to when I was 16, when I hardly understood him at all, as he was hit with a double whammy of both Parkinson’s and Alzheimer's. His decline into an invalid was both steep and long drawn out. That part didn’t reflect who he was as a person.
What did I know of him when I was little? Well I knew he and my grandmother had a nice big house and some farmland, out in the broad flat valley north of Farmingham. Dairy country. It had been settled by Dutch immigrants back in the homesteading days. His family had been among the first pioneers in the county too. It didn’t register to me then that his surname was Norwegian, not Dutch. I knew he had served in the Navy in World War II, which I was immensely proud of for reasons I didn’t know why. I knew he had a job as a butcher in a nearby rural supermarket. He was a bit of a farmer too, more as a hobby and a side gig. He had a few cattle, but mostly grew and harvested hay to sell to the local dairies. I knew he had turned his garage into a machine shop, and could fix damn near anything. From the flat tires on my bicycle to the old flat-bed truck he’d haul hay with, to an old 1950s riding lawnmower he somehow managed to keep in working order. I knew he could draw a really cool cartoon cowboy, I knew he loved to watch football, and I knew the whiskers on his chin were very pokey, and they’d tickle you when he kissed you on the cheek, and that when you tried to rub the sensation away he’d laugh and laugh and laugh.
Then there were the parts of his life that I’d learn much later. Mostly from odd passing comments from relatives, or things I’d find in the public records. Like how he’d been a better grandfather than a father. Or how his life as I knew it had been a second, better life. He’d been born among the Norwegian settler community, way up in the deep, dark, forest-shrouded hills that rimmed the valley. He’d been a logger in his youth. Technologically he was only a generation or two from the ones I’d learned about in the museum. They’d replaced donkeys with diesel engines and corduroy roads with narrow gauge rail. It was still the same job, though. Dirty, dangerous, dark. Way back into those woods, living in little logging camps, civilization was always a several-day hike out. It became a vulgar sort of profession, filled with violent men, reprobates, and thieves. When my grandfather’s father was murdered on his front porch by a lunatic claiming he’d been wronged somehow, my grandfather hiked out of there, got into town, and joined the Navy. He vowed never to go back. The things he’d seen out in those woods were no good. He’d kept that existence away from me. Anyways…
Tommy Barker was the first of us to go missing. I say ‘us’ as if I knew him personally. I didn’t. He went to Farmingham Middle School, other side of town, and several grades above us. From our perspective, he may as well have been an adult living overseas.
Yet it felt like we got to know him. His face was everywhere, on TV, all over telephone poles. Everybody was talking about him. After he didn’t return from a friend’s house, everybody just sort of assumed, or maybe hoped, that he’d just gotten lost, or was trapped somewhere. They searched all the parks. Backyards, junkyards, refrigerators, trunks. Old-fashioned refrigerators, back before suction seals, had a simple handle with a latch that opened when you pulled on it. It wasn’t a problem when the fridges were in use and filled with food. But by the 80s old broke-down refrigerators started filling up backyards and junkyards, and they became deathtraps for kids playing hide-and-seek. The only opened from the outside. I remember thinking Tommy Barker was a little old to have likely been playing hide-and-seek, but people checked everywhere anyway. They never found him.
That was about the first time we saw the Hidebehind. Ben said he thought he saw somebody following us, looked like, maybe, a kid. We’d just slowly huffed our way up a moderately steep hill, Farmingham is full of them, and when we paused for a breather at the top, Ben said he saw it down the hill, closer to the base. Yet when we turned to look there was nothing there. Ben said he’d just seen it duck behind a car. That wasn’t the sort of behavior of a random kid minding his own business. Yet the slope afforded us a view under the car’s carriage, and except for the four tires, there were no signs of any feet hiding behind the body. At first, we thought he was pulling our leg. When he insisted he wasn’t, we started to tease him a little. He must have been seeing things, on account of his poor vision and thick glasses. The fact that those glasses afforded him vision as good as or better than any of us wasn’t something we considered.
The next person to disappear was Amy Brooks. Fifth-grader. Next elementary school over. I remember it feeling like when you’re traveling down the freeway, and there’s a big thunderstorm way down the road, but it keeps getting closer, and closer. I don’t remember what she looked like. Her face wasn’t plastered everywhere like Tommy’s had been. She was mentioned on the regional news, out of Seattle, her and Tommy together. Two missing kids from the same town in a short amount of time. The implication was as obvious as it was depraved. They didn’t think the kids were getting lost anymore. They didn’t do very much searching of backyards. The narratives changed too. Teachers started talking a lot about stranger danger. Local TV channels started recycling old After School Specials and public service announcements about the subject.
I’m not sure who saw it next. I think it was Ben again. We took him seriously this time though. I think. The one I’m sure I remember was soon after, and that time it was India who first saw it. It’s still crystal clear in my memory, almost forty years later, because that was the time I first saw it too. We were riding through a four-way stop, an Idaho Stop before they called it that, when India slammed to a stop, locking up her coaster brakes and leaving a long black streak of rubber on a dry patch of pavement. We stopped quickly after and asked what the problem was. We could tell by her face she’d seen it. She was still looking at it.
“I see it,” she whispered, unnecessarily. We all followed her gaze. We were looking, I don’t know, ten seconds? Twenty? We believed everything she said, we just couldn’t see it.
“Where?” Ralph asked.
“Four blocks down,” she whispered. “On the left. See the red car? Kinda rusty?” There was indeed a big old Lincoln Continental, looking pretty ratty and worn. I focused on that, still seeing nothing. “Past that, just to its right. See the street light pole? It’s just behind that.”
We also saw the pole she was talking about. Metal. Aluminum, I’d have guessed. It had different color patches, like metallic flakeboard. Like it’d had been melted together out of scrap.
I could see that clearly even from that distance. I saw nothing behind it. I could see plenty of other things in the background, cars, houses, bushes, front lawns, beauty bark landscape.. There was no indication of anything behind that pole.
And then it moved. It had been right there where she said it had been, yet it had somehow perfectly blended into the landscape, a trick of perspective. We didn’t see it at all until it moved, and almost as fast it had disappeared behind that light pole. We only got a hint. Brown in color, about our height in size.
We screamed. Short little startled screams, the involuntary sort that just burst out of you. Then we turned and started to pedal like mad, thoroughly spooked. We made it to the intersection of the next block when it was Ralph who screeched to a halt and shouted, “Wait!”
We slowed down and stopped, perhaps not as eagerly as we’d done when India yelled. Ralph was looking back over his shoulder, looking at that metal pole. “Did anybody see it move again?’ he asked. We all shook our heads in the negative. Ralph didn’t notice, but of course, he didn’t really need an answer, of course we hadn’t been watching.
“If it didn’t move, then it’s still there!” Ralph explained the obvious. It took a second to sink in, despite the obvious. “C’mon!” he shouted, and to our surprise, before we could react, he turned and took off, straight down the road, straight to where that thing had been lurking.
We were incredulous, but something about his order made us all follow hot on his heels. He was a sort of natural leader. I thought it was total foolishness, but I wasn’t going to let him go alone. I think I got out, “Are you crazy?!”
The wind was blowing hard past our faces as we raced as fast as we could, it made it hard to hear. Ralph shouted his response. “If it’s hiding that means its afraid!” That seemed reasonable, if not totally accurate. Lions hide from their prey before they attack. Then again, they don’t wait around when the whole herd charges. Really, the pole was coming up so fast there wasn’t a whole lot of time to argue. “Just blast past and look!” Ralph added. “We’re too fast! It won’t catch us.”
Sure, I thought to myself. Except maybe Ben, who always lagged behind the rest of us in a race. The lion would get Ben if any of us.
We rushed past that pole and all turned our heads to look. “See!” Ralph shouted in triumph. There was simply nothing there. A metal streetlight pole and nothing more. We stopped pedaling yet still sped on. “Hang on,” Ralph said, and at the next intersection he took a fast looping curve that threatened to crash us all, but we managed and curved behind him. We all came to the pole again where we stopped to see up close that there was nothing there, despite what we had seen moments before.
“Maybe it bilocated,” Ben offered. We groaned. We were all thinking it, but I think we were dismissive because it wasn’t as cool a word as ‘teleport.”
“Maybe it just moved when we weren’t looking,” I offered. That hadn’t been long, but that didn’t mean anything if it moved fast. The four of us slowly looked up from the base of the pole to our immediate surroundings. There were bushes. A car in a carport covered by a tarpaulin. The carport itself. Garbage cans. Stumps. Of course the ever-present trees. Whatever it was it could have been hiding behind anything. Maybe it was. We looked. Maybe it would make itself seen. None of us wanted that. “OK, let’s get going,” Ralph said, and we did so.
I got home feeling pretty shaken that afternoon. I felt safe at home. Except for the front room, which had a big bay window looking out onto the street, and the people who lived across it. There were plenty of garbage cans and telephone poles and stumps that a small, fast thing might hide behind. No, I felt more comfortable in my bedroom. There was a window, but a great thick conical cypress tree grew right in front of it, reaching way up over the roof of the house. If anything, it offered ME a place to hide, and peer out onto the street to either side of the tree. It was protective, as good as any heavy blanket.

With his mother dead and his cultist family members out to ruin his life, getting abducted by alien slavers is actually an improvement for Corey Vash. A quick and chaotic escape attempt only succeeds thanks to an unintentional rescue from the impressively skilled and infrequently sober bounty hunters aboard the Hard Luck Hermit. With no clue about how to survive in space and nothing to return to on Earth, Corey joins the crew in their efforts to make a quick buck, try new drinks, and figure out who the hell keeps trying to kill them.
[First Chapter][Previous Chapter][Cover Art][Patreon]
“Alright, our little gun show just got a hell of a lot more complicated,” Kamak said. Zero-G combat was a pain in the ass even for people who’d been specially trained, and as far as Kamak knew, that only applied to Farsus. He and Doprel had been in a handful of zero gravity fights, but he was less than confident in his skills and knew that Doprel felt the same.
“I’m not confident in our ability to manage this combat scenario,” Farsus said. “Melee combat is generally more viable in zero gravity environments, and we cannot hope to beat the Doccan in melee range.”
“On the other hand, lot of handholds here on this ship,” Corey said. He grabbed an exposed mechanical element, one of many jutting from the patchwork halls of the ship, and latched himself in place. It wasn’t a perfect solution, but they had places to brace themselves to avoid the zero-gravity recoil problem. To Vo braced her foot against an oddly welded ridge in the ship’s hull and kept her gun up.
“Could we leave this vessel disabled and wait for the Doccan to send reinforcements?”
“We’ve only got enough disable rounds for one more ship, and the Doccan always escalate linearly,” Doprel said. “They’ll send two, maybe three next time.”
“It’s a little messier than anticipated, but this is still our best shot,” Kamak said. “Guns up.”
The team shouldered their weapons and started kicking off the walls, drifting down the darkened halls of the ship. The vessel had enough of an auxiliary power system to keep some emergency lights on, but even those were intermittent, with many bulbs burnt out by the Doccan’s lack of interest in repairing such a negligible function. They did not feel fear, much less fear of the dark.
Corey, on the other hand, was feeling a lot of fear. His casual interest in sci-fi films had done him a lot of good out here in space so far, but now it was starting to backfire. He’d watched Alien one too many times to be comfortable drifting around the dead silence of this spaceship. He tried to remind himself that there were no xenomorphs here. The only aliens he had to worry about were nigh-unkillable super strong emotionless behemoths.
In retrospect, that was worse, and Corey decided to start thinking about literally anything else just in time to hear something go click.
A three round burst of plasma fire soared down the hall, briefly illuminating the length of it in green fire. One of the bolts caught Farsus on his broad chest, but his armor mostly negated the damage. Kamak returned fire, sending a stream of bullets up the hall, and Kamak himself careening the other way. In his haste to return fire, he’d forgotten to brace himself. The rest of his fireteam made no such mistakes.
With his back to a wall, Corey turned his gun towards the Doccan and took aim. There were two of them, both even larger than Doprel, and wearing patchwork armor to boot. That was an unpleasant development.
“Take out the guns first,” Farsus shouted. The Doccan themselves were durable and heavily armored, but their guns were as fragile as any other weapon in the galaxy. Corey took aim and peppered the Doccan’s limbs with a spray of gunfire. One of the two had the wherewithal to clutch their gun to their side, letting their arm absorb the brunt of the gunfire, but the other kept trying to return fire even as a bullet finally hit home. The metal slug cracked through the plasma repeater’s energy chamber, and the weapon started to vent green fire as the energy cell leaked.
With his weapon damaged, the Doccan took the next logical step and launched himself at his opponents, massive arms raised and ready to strike. The crew took advantage of the zero gravity recoil and let go of their handholds in the wall, then fired at the approaching Doccan. The recoil propelled them away as bullets peppered its thick hide. With no gravity to make it flow outwards naturally, the strange fluid layer beneath the skin of the Doccan started to leak out in blobs of oozing blue.
The floating globs splashed into dozens of tiny droplets as Doprel met his kin coming the other way. The divided drops then scattered in every direction as the shockwave of their colossal impact traveled outwards. Another spray of blue fluid followed shortly after as Doprel dug his fingers into a patch of bullet holes and tore a massive chunk out of the Doccan’s exterior carapace.
“Doprel! Give me an angle on the face!”
With a quick grunt of acknowledgment, Doprel spun around and put the Doccan he was grappling in a headlock. He kept his arms wide and his face behind the Doccan’s back as Kamak took aim at the Doccan’s head and fired. A quick round of bullets tore through the air, a few managing to find purchase in the Doccan’s face, tearing out one of its eyes and a few chunks of mandible. The floating drops of blue liquid pouring out of the broken head were soon joined by a thin flow of black bile -the real lifeblood of the Doccan.
“Not going to be interrogating that one,” Kamak said. “Focus fire and take out his friend!”
Kamak drifted forward and grabbed on to the broken body of the dead Doccan, using it as cover as the hail of bullets continued. Under fire from five sources at once, the Doccan’s defeat was inevitable yet worryingly slow. Corey kept his rifle focused on the joint of its arm for a solid thirty seconds of sustained fire, but it didn’t even drop its gun until the arm was only attached by a few strands of tattered, fibrous “muscle”. Even at that point, the Doccan simply switched hands and continued firing until Farsus blew a big enough chunk of its head off that it stopped moving entirely. Doprel walked up and ripped its other arm off just to be sure, while Kamak took a final few potshots at the head of the other one.
“Bastard’s aren’t afraid to play dead,” Kamak said. “Especially when they know they’re at a disadvantage.”
“Good news is, this means there’s probably just two more,” Doprel said. “If we were dealing with multiple groups there’d have been a full crew of four after us.”
“Best news I’ve gotten all week,” Kamak said. “Now where are the others…”
“We are located in the cockpit.”
Five guns pointed in five different directions as the voice boomed out from a PA system.
“What’s going on?”
“You have stated an intent to interrogate a living subject, and have proven your ability to defeat two or less Doccan in combat,” the monotone voice proclaimed. “There is no further purpose to violent resistance.”
“I see,” Kamak said. They really were logical. “We’ll be right there. Guns up, of course. I’m not dumb enough to not see a trap.”
“We lack the resources to commit to such a deception.”
That did nothing to ease Kamak’s suspicion, for reasons the Doccan could not at all understand. He, Doprel, and Farsus kept their guns up as they head upwards, towards the cockpit of the makeshift vessel. Corey was not far behind, until he realized To Vo La Su was quite far behind. She was bouncing slowly around the hall, trying to dodge floating globs of Doccan ichor—and a few chunks of the Doccan themselves.
“You’ve just got to accept you’re going to get messy and move through it,” Corey said. “The laundry machine on the Hermit is surprisingly good.”
“I don’t have that many clothes to start with,” To Vo mumbled. Due to the impromptu circumstances of her “recruitment” To Vo had the clothes she’d been wearing and a few spare outfits Tooley had been willing to throw at her—most of which fit poorly and had suspicious stains already. “But that is not my issue. I do not- there is a certain amount of- I can’t-”
“To Vo?”
The former transit authority tightened her grip on a gun she was entirely unsuited to carry and took a deep breath. One of the globs of Doccan ichor drifted worryingly close to her face, and she backed away.
“I didn’t want to do something like this again.”
“Again?”
To Vo was naturally small, but she still found a way to shrink in on herself.
“The world I come from was harsh,” To Vo said. “We did harsh things to live. All of us.”
A few chunks of gore drifted by Corey’s head. He knew better than to ask what she meant.
“Yeah. Look, I get it, but, these guys came after us because they thought we were a defenseless bunch of stranded travelers, right? You think they brought all that firepower to escort a bunch of lost souls back to safety, give them a nice pat on the back and a snack for the road? If we’d actually been lost travelers, we’d be dead. And eaten, quite possibly.”
“But we aren’t travelers, and now they’re dead,” To Vo said, pointing out the drifting Doprel corpses as she spoke. “How can this be right?”
“Look, To Vo, nothing’s ever completely ‘right’. Even when you’re purely trying to help someone, who’s to say they ‘deserve’ it, or that there’s not someone else who needs the help more and isn’t getting it?” Corey asked. “You’re never one-hundred percent in the right. Sure, maybe we’re a lot closer to that line between good and bad than we could be, but I think we’re still on the good side of things.”
“And what happens when you’re not?”
Corey didn’t have an answer for that question. Luckily for him, he didn’t get the chance to try.
“Would you two stop fucking moralizing and back us up? This is still a combat zone!”
The ever obedient To Vo La Su was the first to grab her gun and kick off towards the cockpit, heedless of the gore she had to splash through on the way. Corey followed closely behind her, secretly quite happy to let her absorb all the floating ichor instead of him.
***
As it turned out, the Doccan were sincere in their desire to surrender. That left only one dilemma to resolve.
“So. Awkward issue,” Kamak said. “We’ve only got enough restraints for one of you.”
“We will offer no resistance,” one of the Doccan said.
“Oh sure, for now. Until we get attacked by someone else, or we all turn around at once, or you decide you might have a good opportunity.”
“This point is sound,” the Doccan admitted.
“Which one of you knows more about the recent movements in people fighting you guys, and why your people blew up the Bang Gate?”
“I am more knowledgeable on all military matters,” the Doccan on the left said. Kamak pointed to the one on the right.
“And you agree with that sentiment?”
“Yes. However, your inquiries might require a greater knowledge base. I am in charge of monitoring the social habits of various Doccan, and may possess relevant information.”
The other Doccan had barely finished speaking when Kamak shoved the barrel of his gun in their mandibles and pulled the trigger. A burst of rounds tore through their cranium and the Doccan fell over dead. The only surviving Doccan did not even react as his comrade collapsed. As black blood started to drift through the air, Corey very deliberately avoided To Vo’s gaze.
“Not particularly interested in your social media. Alright, Doprel, tie the other one up,” Kamak said. “And you. Got time for questions?”
“I will accede to any line of questioning that does not actively endanger the Doccan species.”
“Great! What’s your name, champ?”
“Doprel.”
Doprel looked up and over the other Doprel’s shoulders.
“Doprel, why is our new friend also Doprel?”
“It’s...actually a term for the working class of Doccan’s,” Doprel said. “I didn’t have any other name, and by the time I realized what was going on it had sort of stuck, so...yeah.”
“Do you want a better name?”
“No, no, like I said, it’s stuck now, no sense changing it,” Doprel said. “Not like we hang out with other Doccan enough for it to be confusing.”
“On that note, for the purposes of this conversation, you are Junior,” Kamak said. The newly christened Junior did not object to this designation, so Kamak assumed he accepted it. “What do you know about why the Doccan attacked the Bang Gate?”
“We were recently informed that new stresses upon intergalactic shipping routes would place additional importance on our galaxy as a trade hub,” Junior said. “Your Galactic Council endures our presence and our attacks on your shipping route as acceptable losses. If this galaxy was to become more important on a galactic scale, they would feel more pressure to protect it, and therefore take more aggressive actions against the Doccan species. A pre-emptive strike to lessen the utility of our home as a trade route mitigates this risk of escalating conflict.”
“And blowing up a fucking Bang Gate isn’t an escalation?”
“The gateway is destroyed. Retaliatory attacks achieve nothing. Your Council has nothing to gain from further conflict.”
“What if they’re worried you’ll blow up another fucking gate, Junior?”
“The measured presence of other species in this galaxy ultimately benefits us by providing resources we would be otherwise unable to acquire,” Junior said. “We have no reason to completely close ourselves off.”
“You guys have a lot of work to do on understanding other species,” Kamak said.
“Typical warfare does not stop when one side considers it merely ‘convenient’,” Farsus said. “If the Galactic Council decides on hostilities, they will not stop until they possess a considerable advantage over you.”
“By our appraisal they already possess a significant advantage,” Junior said. “However, if I survive our conversation, I will pass on your appraisal of the situation to the homeworld.”
“Jury’s still out on your survival. Tell us this and improve your odds: Who told you about all this shipping route bullshit?”
“It was [TRANSLATION ERROR].”
Kamak rubbed the sore spot where his translator chip was implanted and tried again.
“Say again?”
“We were informed of these developments by a [TRANSLATION ERROR].”
“Alright, not going for a third try here,” Kamak said. Whenever the translation software ran through the full suite of languages it knew, it started to overheat a little, and Kamak didn’t want a hotspot in his skull. “Doprel, I thought you gave us the whole language?”
“I did!”
“If I may theorize,” Farsus said. “To my understanding, the Doccan are a very literal people. Junior, when your people are faced with a new entity or concept, do you invent a new word for it?”
“When it is the most convenient course of action, yes,” Junior said. “Oftentimes compound words are formed. Your own people are referred to as ‘Red-Large-No Carapace’.”
“An apt descriptor,” Farsus said. “So we can assume whatever introduced these concepts to the Doccan, it was something they first encountered after Doprel’s departure, and something so unique it prompted the creation of a new word.”
“Fun times,” Kamak grumbled. “Junior, can you describe the thing whose name we can’t understand?”
“I have never seen it.”
“Peachy. What do you know about it?”
“It displayed enough intelligence that our central command council took its provided information seriously.”
“And did your central command stop to think about whether this word-we-can’t-understand had any ulterior motives?”
“Non-Doccan rarely approach the Doccan without ulterior motive,” Junior said. Had he any understanding of irony as a concept, he might’ve pointed out his current situation. “It was decided that the threat presented was legitimate enough to act without regard to possible external agendas from the [TRANSLATION ERROR].”
“Please stop saying that,” Corey whined.
“I am unaware of any reason to do so beyond your physical movements,” Junior said. To him, the flinching Corey did every time he said the word was just a strange muscle spasm, as the average Doccan did not experience pain.
“Just don’t fucking say it. Back to the point, you should know that whoever or whatever brought this stuff to you, they’re using you and your actions as a smokescreen to get away with their own shit,” Kamak said. “They’re pushing to change trade routes and pressure new parts of the galaxy. Maybe the threat is legitimate, but it is only legitimate because they are doing what they’re doing.”
“Noted.”
Junior’s quiet acceptance of the dramatic twist unsettled Kamak more than he’d like to admit. Maybe it was just because he’d lived through so many dramatic twists and turns lately, but he felt like that warranted more of a reaction. The emotionless Doccan accepted every new twist of fate the way a calculator would accept a new number plugged into a math problem.
“So...if we let you live, you’re going to tell all this to your planetary council or whatever?”
“New data will be considered.”
“Fan-fucking-tastic, I guess. Anyone else got questions for Big Blue Number Two?”
“I’ve got one,” Corey said. “How long ago did that weird thing bring you guys all this info?”
“Eighteen Doccan days ago.”
“That comes out to a few months, with everything converted,” Doprel said. The Doccan homeworld had a very slow rotation period.
“Once again putting it well before our run-in with that purple ship,” Corey said. “So we really did just get caught up in a plot that was already going on.”
“If that’s supposed to make me feel better, it doesn’t,” Kamak said.
“It might be useful, at least,” Corey mumbled.
“Final call for questions,” Kamak said. “I want to get out of this floating piece of crap.”
“Just the one,” Doprel said. “If what we’ve said is true, and the Doccan find out they’ve been manipulated into making their own situation worse...what will they do about it?”
“It is impossible to make an assessment of the situation without a consensus of at least one Doccan hive,” Junior said. “If not the full planetary council.”
“Well what would you, personally, do?”
“Obey the consensus of the hive or council.”
“Let’s say there’s no hive or council-”
“If all hives and the council have been obliterated, my priority must be to repopulate the Doccan species first and foremost, ignoring tertiary matters such as this.”
“Doprel,” Kamak said. “Whatever you’re looking for, you’re not going to get.”
“Yeah. Got it.”
Doprel’s sullen silence infected the rest of them, and their interrogation was put on pause for a moment.
“Has your interrogation ended?”
“What?”
“You have asked for final questions and are now silent. Is your interrogation finished?”
“Pretty much,” Kamak said. They’d learned this particular Doccan was next to useless, so they didn’t have much reason to continue. “You got a last request?”
“In some form. Do you intend to assault, kill, or otherwise impede the entity you believe has manipulated the Doccan?”
“That’s the plan, yeah,” Kamak said. “Speaking of assaulting or killing-”
Kamak hefted his heavy rifle once again.
“Cooperation will be beneficial,” Junior said. “Remove my restraints so that I may assist.”
“Oh, yes, sure, that sounds like a great idea,” Kamak said. “Assist us with what?”
“Surviving.”
Something Junior wouldn’t be doing much longer, if Kamak had anything to say about it. It was hard to read a Doccan, but he knew a bluff when he saw it. The captain raised his gun, and had it shoved down again by Doprel.
“Kamak.”
In any other situation, Doprel would’ve been on board with calling the bluff, but the Doccan didn’t bluff often. Kamak reluctantly accepted Doprel’s caution and played his part.
“Okay, this is me taking the bait,” Kamak said. “You’re going to help us survive what?”
“The patrolling warship on route to this location,” Junior said. “My willingness to discuss important information with you was a stalling tactic. We sent a distress ping shortly after you boarded.”
While Kamak started swearing, Farsus did the slightly more sensible thing. He hopped on the comms and turned back towards the Hermit.
‘Tooley, ping the long range scanners.”
“Okay. We got...huh,” Tooley said. It took a moment for the full details to come in, but even the most basic scan functions couldn’t miss the vessel coming their way. “That is a big one. I think that might be a Corrhulk.”
“They’ve kept a fucking Corrhulk flying for the past century?”
“What exactly is a Corrhulk?” Corey asked. He felt context was very important.
“It’s big and it’s got a lot of guns,” Kamak snapped. The Corrhulk was one of the last true warships the intergalactic community had mass-produced. Nowadays what few heavy cruisers existed were mostly just carriers for swarms of small fighters, but enough heavily-rusted Corrhulks were still shambling along in merchant fleets and pirate gangs to give the ship a reputation. “Tooley, what’s the Corrhulk’s ETA?”
“Couple drops if we’re lucky,” Tooley said. “I can get us out of here before then if you get back to the ship.”
“And provided it doesn’t try to chase us,” Kamak said.
“Undo my restraints and I will transmit your cooperation to the vessel,” Junior said. “There is benefit to mutual cooperation.”
“And if your friends on the ship don’t agree?”
“Then you will be killed.”
“Love the bluntness,” Kamak grunted. “I’ve got enough friends.”
“Kamak,” Doprel grunted.
“Oh, I’m sorry, are we making friends with your cousins who want to eat you now?”
“We have more enemies than allies,” Farsus said. “Questionable friends are still friends.”
“We’ve got like four drops on our escape window, guys,” Tooley said. “Whatever you’re going to do, do it now.”
“There are those among the Doccan who have spoken to our informant directly,” Junior said. “Further dialogue may yield further relevant information.”
“Oh fuck me,” Kamak said. “Whatever. Not like we’ve ever made a smart decision, might as well make a stupid one on purpose.”
With a reluctant nod from Kamak, Doprel reached down and untied the thick cables holding Junior in place. The titanic alien immediately drifted towards the console and started inputting a complex series of commands.
“Get back on the ship,” Kamak ordered. “Tooley, prep us to detach and start calculating a faster-than-light vector for us. We’re negotiating over comms, and if they say anything we don’t like, we’re out.”
“Oh, are we not going to invite the murderous sociopaths onto our ship for some drinks and snacks?”
“Just shut up and get us ready, Tooley!”
“Ready to die, maybe,” Tooley grumbled. She shut down her comm link in order to get the last word and started calculating their escape route while everyone else made a mad dash back to the Hard Luck Hermit. Before she rounded the corner and drifted out of sight, To Vo La Su took a look back at the cockpit, back at Junior.
He’d picked up the corpse of his dead copilot and was beginning to gnaw on it. No sense letting good nutrients go to waste. To Vo started to wonder what they were getting themselves into.