Wells fargo schedule appointment

Hey guys,
So I (M24) dated a girl (F22) for 6 months, and I know for a fact that she hasn't dated or slept with anyone else during this time (didn't ask her, but had evidence of that). I met her on Tinder and she also deleted her Tinder app after 3 weeks of dating.
Minor summary of our dating phase:

• Saw each other once a week. She lives in another town, around 20 minutes away by train.
• She didn't initiate contact often in between dates, so mostly after a week I would text her and we got together a few days later. She did snapchat me often though, but usually they were mass snaps so I didn't see that as initiating contact.
• We were going out on around 50% on our dates to do fun stuff or have a drink in the city, and she always offered to pay. On the other 50% of our dates we would make dinner together, or play games and have wine at my place.
• She would always come to my city, because her town is boring and she lives with her parents. Because of that she always had to pay for a train ticket every week.
• She invited me to her place and she wanted me to meet her brother.
• She sent me a christmas card for christmas.
• She started to use heart emojis a lot after a few months of dating.
• She offered to paint me a painting for my new apartment, as she is very good at painting.

This is where it went sideways. On our second to last date, she invited me to her birthday party that was coming up, which meant I would meet her girlfriends. I made the mistake of asking her how I should introduce myself, like as her boyfriend or not. She said that relationships are difficult for her and that she is scared of the opinion of my family about her. She also never had a real relationship before. She asked me if I wanted to have a relationship, to which I replied: ''I'm open for it, but let's just see where it goes.'' She agreed, and I thought I saved the situation, but I think this is the reason of the problem I'm going to describe now...
The next date though, our last date, I took her to a cocktail place as her birthday present, and everything seemed fine. Hooked up afterwards, as usual, and she went home again. A week later, I asked her when she was available to hangout again, and she said she would let me know because of her unknown work schedule for the next week. I replied ''ok''. This was exactly 3 weeks ago, and she has never texted me again and I don't plan to text her anymore. After this date, she also stopped snapchatting me every few days. I also noticed her instagram follower number quickly going up and saw she got a few new likes on old 'hot' pictures of her from random guys. She also follows back some of them. I'm sure she went on Tinder again, because she has her instagram username in her Tinder bio.
I feel devastated. I'm stressed out and I don't sleep well. I'm a good looking guy, but this is my first heartbreak ever, and she is the most beautiful girl I have ever dated. She was a little weird in communicating sometimes, but when we were together it felt magical to me. We are both very quirky with the same weird sense of humour. I'm super afraid that I won't find anyone as beautiful as her again, with the same 'weird' personality as me.
I know I shouldn't think about her anymore and move on, but I'm curious if any of you guys ever experienced something like this and if she can come back? From one moment her wanting to meet all her girlfriends on her small birthday party, to ghosting me the next week... It just feels horrible. Like I said, I don't want to text her again, but do you guys think I should text her?
Thanks in advance!

Hello,
The readings for Lent are up on our schedule for March 27-April 8. I have tried to respect people's schedules when they are unavailable. Please do take a look and make sure I didn't miss anything.
ZacInStl I kept the psalm schedule the same, but if you would like to do something more focused on Lent/Holy Week that I didn't include in the schedule for these Saturdays that is fine too, just let me know.
We only have about six and a half chapters of Leviticus to finish, which I think we'll get back to after Easter. Once that is completed I'm thinking about starting through the Gospel of John, but if anyone has anything else they'd like to cover please feel free to leave a comment on that here as well.
Thanks again for all your support and participation.

One of my attorneys was out all week last week. So I was monitoring his email and sending him a summary of his inbox at least once a day and forwarding tasks to other attorneys to address. But I have limited permissions so in order to forward emails to other people to handle while big britches is going on whale tours, I have to drag the message into an email of my own. Because of those same limited permissions, I’m not able to clean up his inbox as I go, so all the dumbass marketing emails end up cluttering up his inbox. I sent, like, six emails to another partner concerning the same case. I missed ONE about a witness giving his availability for a follow up depo for next week. Attorney followed up today asking if I’d replied or forwarded it to the other partner.
Now, because he’s not our witness, and it’s not our responsibility to schedule the court reporter, it will conceivably still get pulled off. But fuck a duck, how could I be so stupid. I had so much shit on my plate last week, I worked well into the evening at least twice, I got so much done including completely reworking a PR article for aforementioned big britches, but none of that’s going to matter now.
insert gif of flailing Kermit

I just scheduled my 12 wk puppy her last vaccine round at the vet. They said bringing in a stool sample could be beneficial as well. Our puppy hasn’t had a problem with her stool in the weeks that we’ve had her and her behavior is pretty normal.
Do I HAVE to bring in the stool sample? Vets in my area are pretty pricey so I’m trying to minimize the extra fees. I wouldn’t think twice about it if she was having problems but she eats and poops normally.

A tier 0 production is coming to the CT. coast this summer and needs Paid PAs and unpaid Interns for the production and on set staff. If your going to be local this summer, message us for details. We currently have spots for all schedules as well as some remote work positions. Can easily cover 300 internship hours, maybe more.

https://www.regulations.gov/comment/NTIA-2023-0001-0020
Additionally, companies that engage in surreptitious collection and re-sale of potentially sensitive consumer data can violate individuals’ safety and privacy. As more organizations use technology to conduct their business practices, these harms and abuses will continue to grow in scale and severity.
As we have written in our comments to the National Security Commission for AI, technology should be used to solve a specific, well-defined objective. https://blog.palantir.com/palantirs-recommendations-to-the-nscai-f5d7d5dad344 /// https://www.nscai.gov/2021-final-report/
We contend that any use of technology with sensitive data should be rigorously and thoroughly scrutinized, but we should not foreclose data-driven technologies solely because of the limitations inherent in all collected datasets or algorithms.
This framing refocuses the discussion on how to make imperfect data work for imperfect environments, rather than either exalting or completely foreclosing the use of technology.
They see data and technologies not as solutions to human problems, but as just the latest way that human frailties like bias become further enshrined in cultural practices.
Both camps represent views with legitimate concerns about the world, and in the best circumstances, laudable motivations to address those concerns. Both camps also represent forms of myopic thinking that lead to miscommunication, stalemate, and often direct conflict. Both sides would benefit by bracketing their respective ideologies and examining how they each have failed in the past to carry out their objectives.
These problems accumulate along a spectrum of harms, including unreasonable flows of commercial data to government agencies, commercial surveillance practices that monetize and manipulate behavior, automated decision-making systems that unwittingly introduce or exacerbate unlawful discrimination.
And yet, commercial service providers are less constrained, and entire marketplaces have emerged for the accumulation, packaging, and reselling of digital communications information to private and public sector buyers alike.
Commercial “surveillance capitalism” does not simply seek methods of benignly monetizing our interactions with digital applications; it actually shapes our behaviors, beliefs, and interactions with the world.
Suffice to say, there are several and notably severe ways in which algorithms built to purpose can have consequential impacts on peoples’ lives: credit and lending determinations by financial institutions, candidate selection by recruiting agencies and employers, screening services by health providers, to name a few. Data evangelists who fail to acknowledge these demonstrable risks and the harms they have already effectuated on the lives of real people are living in a world of fantasy. They perpetuate a doctrine of technology salvation at the expense of not just their own credibility, but with real consequences to individuals and potentially growing backlash against even the most responsible and defensible variations of their current and future wares. Data evangelists would do well to temper their technological religiosity and spend a bit more time interacting with the people and communities their innovations ultimately exist to serve.
But this does not imply that all data and data-driven technologies should be discarded out of hand any more than individual testimonials should be dismissed as just the opinion of one or several person(s). Data may be flawed as much as human attestations may be flawed.
Dealing with the world as it is (even to the end of changing it to be otherwise) necessitates an appreciation — or at minimum, a recognition — of the ways that data and data technologies can serve as powerful tools for helping us address the compounding complexities of modern life.
The goal is not to arrive at a uniformly perfect state of affairs (an impossibility!), but to achieve outcomes that all parties should be willing to accept as imperfect relative to their respective starting positions. This goal is as much a process as it is an outcome. It ultimately reflects a shared (even if not fully agreed upon) recognition of conscious choices, necessary trade-offs, and a common vision of the practical realities of operating in a messy, imperfect world.
At Palantir, our customers use our software platforms to process their most sensitive information. Palantir does not collect, store, or broker customer data. Instead, we provide customers with software platforms to integrate, analyze, and operationalize the data they already lawfully control.
Scheduled deletion of sensitive data by default. Technologists tend to like the idea of keeping data forever in case it might prove useful at some later point. Data that is no longer necessary for a specific business purpose, however, should be deleted, especially if such data is sensitive. Storage limitation and the regular deletion of collected data can reduce the risk of data misuse or repurposing. Sensitive data such as employee information, in particular, should be stored with scheduled deletion dates by default. If scheduled deletion is not appropriate, then the employer should have the burden to explain why data should be held indefinitely. Moreover, data deletion should encompass not only the originally collected data, but also any derived data or models trained on the data. In our experience, building software with comprehensive deletion tooling can encourage privacy by default and more accountable use of sensitive data
Sensitive personnel data should always be minimized by default, and a variety of encryption, tokenization, or other pseudonymization techniques can be used to achieve this result.
In our response to the Covid-19 pandemic, we implemented Purpose-Based Access Controls (PBAC) to help customers enforce use limitation.33 This method of granular access controls enabled healthcare organizations to rapidly bring data together to respond to the pandemic, while also allowing governance teams to granularly administer and oversee the use of sensitive data.

• Technology, organizational policies, and even regional or national regulation can only adapt so quickly to the challenges of using data for mission-critical problems in practice. Data governance bodies can be another valuable source of input for understanding how a particular organizational decision would impact privacy and equity, especially in ever-changing business and regulatory environments.

​
Our work has demonstrated compelling results that confirm technological development and data privacy are not mutually exclusive concepts. We hope that these case studies will help inform NTIA’s policy considerations and ultimately lead to more effective standards and expectations for data processing that protects privacy, equity, and civil rights of individuals.
​
​
​
† Fin †

Hi everyone,
I've been lurking here and in Catholicism for a few weeks now as I've been feeling called back to the Church. I'm a cradle Catholic but I lapsed for a long time. Since having my first child in 2020 I've felt called back; my husband is not baptised but agreed to having the child baptised, which we did, and since then I've tried to attend mass weekly (not always successfully due to constant illness with a toddler).
I've started to pray the rosary this Lent as I felt very drawn to it, and seeking out Catholic content online, which is making me realise the catechism I received as a child was... not great. So many things I didn't know but feel I ought to have known, like how important confession is and to fast before mass and all sorts of things that I didn't know were sins but have done. I feel repentant and would like to go to confession and make a clean slate of it...
And here's the but: I had a really really hard time adjusting to motherhood during Covid lockdowns. As in, untreated PPD, suicidal ideation, midnight rage, the works. I'm now in treatment and feeling better and I can see how ill I was, and with all that in mind I am not ready to have another child. We do practice NFP but my postpartum cycles are still a bit wacky and we use condoms to be really sure, because honestly both of us are a bit traumatised. I don't intend to change that any time soon, and I'm also not ready to live chastely - we already barely have sex, we both feel the lack of that intimacy in our marriage. I also take issue with suicidal ideation being a sin, it wasn't something I indulged in it was something that tormented me. The same with the rage issues, I hated it and still feel horrendously guilty, but it was like an out of body experience.
Do I just shelve my desire to be right with my faith until such a time as I can countenance only NFP and am truly repentant for all my sins? Do I make an appointment to talk to our priest? I'm very afraid to be judged for this and some of it I fully deserve to be judged for, but some of it I'm less sure of. Any thoughts and insights would be gratefully received, I feel at sea here. I'm asking here rather than in the main sub as I feel other women will understand better the hell of PPD and everything that goes with it, as well as the mixed blessings of NFP after honestly a traumatic postpartum experience.

So a few weeks ago we started letting this stray cat come inside. We kept an emotional distance because we weren't sure if his owners would come claim him. We managed to contact his previous owners (who no longer live in the neighborhood so they did pretty much abandon him) and explained that we want to keep him and they were good with that. So now we aren't afraid to spend money on him and get attached.
Everything I've read about cats says that there really is no good reason to let them outside unsupervised. There are too many ways for them to get hurt or killed or sick and are apparently considered an invasive species and are awful for the local wildlife. I have a vet appointment set up for him Thursday so he can get his vaccines and a wellness checkup and I plan to talk to them about transitioning him into an indoor only cat.
When he wants back outside his meows sound so sad and I feel so bad for keeping him inside even though I know it is ultimately what will be best for him. He also won't use the litter box. He doesn't use the bathroom inside at all, he will hold it until we let him out.
Maybe I'm looking for reassurance that this is best, maybe some tips that will make the transition easier for him. Or if anyone has successfully made an outdoor cat an indoor cat I'd love to know how it went for you.
If I'm way off the mark here and it's better to leave him as an indoooutdoor cat then please correct me. I'm very new to cats.

Around a week ago, I met a woman through a mutual friend, and we seemed to get along well (although it was a brief one-hour encounter), at least on a friendly level. She asked for my contacts and we exchanged numbers, although I'm very aware this could as well be a friendly gesture. Afterwards, we chatted here and there via texts, and she was initially responsive. I asked if she'd like to go for drinks, but she couldn't make it (it was weekdays and she said her schedule was packed). Instead, she asked to join her friends over the weekend, which I unfortunately couldn't join.
However, for the last few days, her response has been getting slower, and it has been days since she lasted replying to my texts. I don't think I said anything offensive or wrong, just casual hello asking how her weekend was. I'm trying to think what could have gone wrong, that she would stop replying me, even on a friendly basis.
What do you think?

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20th Match, Women's Premier League at Mumbai

Thread Cricinfo Reddit-Stream

Innings	Score
UP Warriorz Women	138/6 (Ov 20/20)
Delhi Capitals Women	142/5 (Ov 17.5/20)

Innings: 1 - UP Warriorz Women

Batter	Runs		Bowler	Wickets
Tahlia McGrath	58 (32)		Alice Capsey	4-0-26-3
Alyssa Healy	36 (34)		Radha Yadav	4-0-28-2

Innings: 2 - Delhi Capitals Women

Batter	Runs		Bowler	Wickets
Meg Lanning	39 (23)		Shabnim Ismail	3-0-29-2
Marizanne Kapp	34 (31)		Sophie Ecclestone	4-0-25-1

DC Women won by 5 wickets (with 13 balls remaining)
UP Warriorz captain Alyssa Healy: "We're giving an opportunity for some players to rest. We had a good crack tonight but we were not good enough in all three facets of the game and we need to fix some things before Friday. [On Ismail] She got a few wickets for us and gave us a sniff but we kept letting ourselves down. It wasn't easy batting conditions so we thought if we could get to 140 or 145, we were in with a shot. We just didn't bowl well at the front. Hopefully we reflect on what didn't go as well tonight and what we need to improve on. We'll probably have tomorrow off and have a good training on Thursday."
Delhi spinner Jess Jonassen: "It's really cool that it came down to the final day of the round games here and for us to finish on top of the table, it's a huge advantage to get a few days off going straight through to the final. Incredibly proud of the girls for the way we bounced back from setbacks. Even tonight we were pretty far off our best so to come away with the result and do it in that style was really pleasing. We've just got bundles of International experience, the likes of us coming over but equally our Indian talent as well. We've got some incredible talent with our group and even the girls who miss out have been incredible. One more big game to go.
^{Send feedback Schedule Stat Help
Please don't post illegal streaming links in match threads}

Due to the Schedule One classification of cannabis, alongside Heroin and methamphetamine in the United States based on Reccomendations of the Food and Drug Administration and set in place by the Drug Enforcement Administration as Law so anybody with a Medicinal Cannabis Card is foregoing their Second Ammendment Right to bear arms.
States are not really addressing this catch 22 of sorts and it's honestly flying under the noses of most people even those who have medicinal cannabis cards. The issue isn't just the purchasing of a fire arm, but the possession there if. A restriction until Medicinal Cannabis Decriminalization that was only applied to "criminals", not allowing them to use or posess a fire arm. What about peoplenwho already have a huge collection, are they facing legal issues due to their need for a plant based medication treatment.
A Plant based medicine that has been used by the same FDA to produce two pharmaceutical drugs based on the active "non mwdicinally therapeutic" compounds in cannabis, Cannabidiol and Tetrahydrocannabinol, aka CBD & THC. the later was used in synthetic form, a form of man made cannabinoids that was actually banned as "spice" in the early 2000s. This turned what was very reminiscent of Dronibinol compound into a substance that's users resemble a meth tweak.
I have a theory about substances becoming more than they were once made illicit as a product of the illicit market. That the criminalization of a societally desired substance only causes that substance to become extreme in a way that is an inevitability; because profit and turnover becomes more important than anything else on an unregulated illicit market moreso than the legal markets. This may seem counterintuitive to business minded people, but those who have a knowledge of the illicit market personally will understand this concept. DRONIBINOL was created and the excuse from the government was "well this is scientifically isolated compounds while they're using that hippy shit, it isn't the same"
In 2008 the Stanley Brothers developed the first medicinally viable CBD dominant cannabis and used it to Proove the therapeutic effect of Charolettes Web on specifically childhood epileptic Seizures. The FDA rode the coat tails of this finding to production of EPIDIOLEX in 2017. The largest study done to date in the United States was conducted by the FDA for this drugs creation, a study of 200 people. Longitudinal studies of users of cannabis weren't even allowed for Dr Lyle Cracker and colleges by the FDA, not until 2020 four years after their own therapeutic study proving therapeutic uses of cannabis,did they allow study and give up a 20 year lawsuit that began in 1999 with Dr Lyle Crackers desire to study the cannabis on the market.
To cover their own behinds, the FDA had contractors at the University of Mississippi grow cannabis for "research purposes". The problem was that the canabisnwas intentionally sub par and super low quality low potency low grade cannabis comparable to Mexican brick Pack of the nineties. It was such poor quality cannabis researchers were unable to discern a placebo effect from the control, in other words people couldn't tell if they were high or not let alone discerning mild therapeutic indicators.
The utter senslesnessnofnfederal legislation is one thing to discuss, but the fact these states are agreeing that They will take away second ammendment rights of citizens, on the same hand disagreeing with the FDA that this IS a medicnally viable substance. It's a literal contradiction within itself. Yey it's brushed aside everytimeits brought up as a scoff regarding separation of state and federal legislation. That too makes little sense as states CAN change the wording to make this forgoing of the second ammendment null. Montana is an example of this, ironically it is conservative states who fought the legalization and decriminalization who are the friends of this cannabis legislative battle.

This is simply perpetuation of the mindset that people were convinced of In D.A.R.E. I. Middle school, the idea that Marijuana is comparable to heroin and methamphetamine. The Excuse that These are all due the non therapeutic viability of cannabis and it's classification as a schedule one substance is not valid IMo, given that we know that ecstasy and LSD as well as Psylocybin Mushrooms have been studied more than cannabis, all of these are ALSO SCHEDULE ONE SUBSTANCES. 

JOIN ME as I explore the legislation in various states and explore the meat and potatoes behind all of this. The First video is up on my YouTube channel now, linked above. Please let me know what you think about the video good or bad, preferably commenting on the video. Also check out my Means of understanding cannabis products before leaving the dispensary, which I have titled Evolutionarily Adaptive Terpological Assignement and Discernment.

 Advoc8 always Meduc8 Daily 

THC n Terp Talk

Around a week ago, I met a woman through a mutual friend, and we seemed to get along well (although it was a brief one-hour encounter), at least on a friendly level. She asked for my contacts and we exchanged numbers, although I'm very aware this could as well be a friendly gesture. Afterwards, we chatted here and there via texts, and she was initially responsive. I asked if she'd like to go for drinks, but she couldn't make it (it was weekdays and she said her schedule was packed). Instead, she asked to join her friends over the weekend, which I unfortunately couldn't join.
However, for the last few days, her response has been getting slower, and it has been days since she lasted replying to my texts. I don't think I said anything offensive or wrong, just casual hello asking how her weekend was. I'm trying to think what could have gone wrong, that she would stop replying me, even on a friendly basis.
What do you think?

Due to the Schedule One classification of cannabis, alongside Heroin and methamphetamine in the United States based on Reccomendations of the Food and Drug Administration and set in place by the Drug Enforcement Administration as Law so anybody with a Medicinal Cannabis Card is foregoing their Second Ammendment Right to bear arms.
States are not really addressing this catch 22 of sorts and it's honestly flying under the noses of most people even those who have medicinal cannabis cards. The issue isn't just the purchasing of a fire arm, but the possession there if. A restriction until Medicinal Cannabis Decriminalization that was only applied to "criminals", not allowing them to use or posess a fire arm. What about peoplenwho already have a huge collection, are they facing legal issues due to their need for a plant based medication treatment.
A Plant based medicine that has been used by the same FDA to produce two pharmaceutical drugs based on the active "non mwdicinally therapeutic" compounds in cannabis, Cannabidiol and Tetrahydrocannabinol, aka CBD & THC. the later was used in synthetic form, a form of man made cannabinoids that was actually banned as "spice" in the early 2000s. This turned what was very reminiscent of Dronibinol compound into a substance that's users resemble a meth tweak.
I have a theory about substances becoming more than they were once made illicit as a product of the illicit market. That the criminalization of a societally desired substance only causes that substance to become extreme in a way that is an inevitability; because profit and turnover becomes more important than anything else on an unregulated illicit market moreso than the legal markets. This may seem counterintuitive to business minded people, but those who have a knowledge of the illicit market personally will understand this concept. DRONIBINOL was created and the excuse from the government was "well this is scientifically isolated compounds while they're using that hippy shit, it isn't the same"
In 2008 the Stanley Brothers developed the first medicinally viable CBD dominant cannabis and used it to Proove the therapeutic effect of Charolettes Web on specifically childhood epileptic Seizures. The FDA rode the coat tails of this finding to production of EPIDIOLEX in 2017. The largest study done to date in the United States was conducted by the FDA for this drugs creation, a study of 200 people. Longitudinal studies of users of cannabis weren't even allowed for Dr Lyle Cracker and colleges by the FDA, not until 2020 four years after their own therapeutic study proving therapeutic uses of cannabis,did they allow study and give up a 20 year lawsuit that began in 1999 with Dr Lyle Crackers desire to study the cannabis on the market.
To cover their own behinds, the FDA had contractors at the University of Mississippi grow cannabis for "research purposes". The problem was that the canabisnwas intentionally sub par and super low quality low potency low grade cannabis comparable to Mexican brick Pack of the nineties. It was such poor quality cannabis researchers were unable to discern a placebo effect from the control, in other words people couldn't tell if they were high or not let alone discerning mild therapeutic indicators.
The utter senslesnessnofnfederal legislation is one thing to discuss, but the fact these states are agreeing that They will take away second ammendment rights of citizens, on the same hand disagreeing with the FDA that this IS a medicnally viable substance. It's a literal contradiction within itself. Yey it's brushed aside everytimeits brought up as a scoff regarding separation of state and federal legislation. That too makes little sense as states CAN change the wording to make this forgoing of the second ammendment null. Montana is an example of this, ironically it is conservative states who fought the legalization and decriminalization who are the friends of this cannabis legislative battle.

This is simply perpetuation of the mindset that people were convinced of In D.A.R.E. I. Middle school, the idea that Marijuana is comparable to heroin and methamphetamine. The Excuse that These are all due the non therapeutic viability of cannabis and it's classification as a schedule one substance is not valid IMo, given that we know that ecstasy and LSD as well as Psylocybin Mushrooms have been studied more than cannabis, all of these are ALSO SCHEDULE ONE SUBSTANCES. 

JOIN ME as I explore the legislation in various states and explore the meat and potatoes behind all of this. The First video is up on my YouTube channel now, linked above. Please let me know what you think about the video good or bad, preferably commenting on the video. Also check out my Means of understanding cannabis products before leaving the dispensary, which I have titled Evolutionarily Adaptive Terpological Assignement and Discernment.

 Advoc8 always Meduc8 Daily 

THC n Terp Talk

I had my hysterectomy (everything removed except ovaries) and endo excision surgery Nov 8 and I'm still struggling with fatigue, brain fog and depression. I've also not been sleeping well despite nothing in my sleep routine changing. I go to sleep and wake up around the same time but the quality of my sleep is trash. I wake up still exhausted the next day. My acne has also never been worse which is feeding into the low self esteem and depression. I certainly have good days (especially now that the sun is coming out again) but I'm wondering if anyone else was/is in my position and a similar time frame. Thankfully I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow and I'm going to ask to my hormone levels checked.

Hey, first post here but second post ever on this website. My partner and I are experiencing what I think is potentially a toxic situation and potentially a dangerous one physically as well. About a year ago my partner and I, who were dating long distance decided to make the jump and move in with each other. My partners former lease was up in September of the year we moved in together and I moved in May from the United States to Canada to live with him. This was such a big move for me and for him but we also had a mutual friend (since we all game together and this is how we met) who was in need of a change and we all decided to go in on a place together. Big crazy plan but my partner and this roommate have also been friends since they were eight. Our hope was that after spending two years together gaming and talking everyday that we knew enough about each other and we’re close enough friends to make it work. On September 1 of 2022 my partner, his child hood best friend and myself moved into this apartment together and at first the red flags weren’t really red flags with this guy. He seemed a little absent minded and would do things like leave the oven on or the balcony door open (we’re on the fifth floor and have two cats) as well as leave a mess after making food, not cleaning up his dishes after eating, always ordering out, never remembering to pay anyone for something they purchased(We often have one person pay for dinner and everyone e-transfers that person) this guy never sends the money. None of these things plus more to come seemed like anything to worry about because this guy drove a crossed Canada from London, Ontario to Victoria, British Columbia. He also had his parents going through a divorce at the time of his move, which was a big reason he decided to come here. I wrote off all of these behaviours as someone just being overwhelmed from moving a big distance and having such a life altering experience. A little bit more background on this guy is that he does have some mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, and ADHD. I have my own mess of Bipolar II etc and my partner has his own anxiety and depress he struggles with. We’re very aware of how much your mental health can affect your day and actions and I think pretty empathetic towards someone having a bad or off day.
With all of those red flags being ignored were now into March and nothing has changed. In fact gotten worse given his constant resistance to being asked to clean up after himself. I understand there is a level of discomfort there when someone asks you to clean up after yourself and this dude gives such bad energy and so many awful vibes and becomes unpleasant, quiet and moody shifting the entire energy of the apartment. After being up all night and eating/making food it will be everywhere. If he makes ramen his package is in one counter, the powder and sauce another (left with sauce and powder everywhere), his dish he used sometimes has the utensil with it but sometimes the bowl is in one area and the utensil another. If he orders out his dinner / containers will be left all over the couch/living room area along with any clothes he discarded. Mostly socks, tuks and jackets. I will voluntarily move these things and place them in front of his door on on his computer chair or in a space near his things so that I can finish cleaning. I don't roughly throw them or treat his things poorly I just place them somewhere new.
The cleaning is a huge thing for me personally. I enjoy things to be much more tidy than usual and I’m aware and willing to put in the extra effort. I can’t keep up with this guy. I’ll spend hours cleaning surfaces, dusting, reorganizing, floors, garbage, recycle, dishes… you get the point. If I’m done cleaning at 3PM and I go do something’s and homie is left with the apartment to himself by the time morning comes it will look like I did nothing. Food stains some how I kid you not, everywhere. Crumbs, dirty dishes, half empty Gatorade bottles strewn wherever, alcoholic beverages thrown wherever, food containers thrown wherever. I also wrote it off because I do like things to always be tidy and thought I was being a bit OCD about the whole thing and I understand that not everyone is like that. I've been keeping this in mind lately and giving them a chance to come back to their mess and clean it up, but it will sit there for days. Literal days. It’s so disheartening to spend hours on our apartment and have this guy just tornado through with zero intention of ever doing a chore.
He has never swept or mopped or vacuumed. Never dusted or done the dishes. If he takes out the garbage he never replaces the bag and the few times he’s attempted the dishes he opens the dishwasher and then sits on the couch to watch TV and puts aWay maybe four dishes. I’ll walk by a few times over the next few hours and he just sits there staring at the Tv or texting on his phone and he seems catatonic while doing this. He will also do these things while operating the stove and oven. I only bring this up because he will be completely zoned into his phone for an hour while boiling water he wants for mac and cheese. He'll be standing next to the stove with the steam going crazy and it will be at least 10 minutes before he'll move to do anything even after my partner and I say something to him. And it's so hard to say something because you're watching a literal human stand next to a stove with water boiling and steam going(We have sensitive fire alarms that he has set off multiple times from heating pizza in the oven without a tray and having toppings and cheese drip to cause smoke.) It's crazy to me that after the first time the fire alarm was set off like this he did not think to clean the oven before doing it the next time. He is the only one in the apartment who uses the oven really since a lot of the food my partner and I cook can be done on the stove-top. So when we ask who left the oven on (we know it's him) but he will flat out deny ever having used the oven or say he did shut it off. He also seems angry that we keep reminding him that the stove or oven is on. I guess I can see that it can be annoying or you could feel like a child but.... hello?
This morning my partner and I got up with the oven still being on and plates all over the couch from roommate reheating some pizza. We literally ask him and have conversations about turning the oven off everytime it gets left on. It's probably a conversation that we have once or twice a week. This is a huge trigger because we are in the mindset of saving as much as we can because we want a house together and we split all the bills three ways. It's really unfair that our electricity bill in an apartment reaches over $300 for a month because we live with someone who does not shut off the TV. Does not shut off his Computer. Leaves the oven on all night multiple nights. He even turns our heating unit on to 80+ and will leave it on all night long. My boyfriend and I go to bed at 9PM ish and I won't even realize the heat is on until probably 11 or 12 the next day on my lunch break. I put something in his room once while I was cleaning and happened to glance at his floor heater thermostat which was turned all the way up and probably has been since winter here in Victoria has started. My partner will tell me how much the electricity bill is every month and it blows my mind. FOR REAL. LIKE HOW
We are all gamers and Dragon flight just released a bit ago. This was a huge turning point for me. I had just started a new job as well and did not have as much time to clean things or to lay the new expansion. I would say we’re decent gamers in that content gets released and we’ll clear heroic plus do high keys in M+ but we also enjoy other games. My partner is an elevator mechanic and works long days too so the two of us just could not dedicate as much time to gaming as our roommate could. This lead to him and my partners identical twin brother being relentlessly mean and toxic over the two of us making mistakes during content. Making mistakes in this context being missing a mechanic that caused our death in a fight during raid and M+. What I mean by being relentlessly mean is that when a death occurs you hear only the sound of screams. Someone saying "Come on guys what the fuck. WHAT THE FUCk. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU. WERE TRYING TO CLEAR CONTENT YOU CAN'T JUST MAKE A MISTAKE." I'm really not kidding here. As well as being spoken down to and so much of it was passive aggressive. Just also insinuating that my partner and I are complete retards (excuse my use of this word but really that's how they were framing it) because we can't play for that long and while we did watch videos on the fights both for dungeons and raid it's different when you're playing. Especially for me since I heal. It's one thing to know the mechanics and another to figure out where best to use things. THis requires pulls and pulls and errors and corrections. I've been a raider for awhile and progression is sort of the point. You review the fight you do a few pulls you figure out the error you fix that another one comes up and you're on repeat. These two made it such an unenjoyable experience! The worst part is we could understand why they were frustrated. They had more time to play and pugged the raid a few times before we ever did it together as a group. I guess they expected the same of my partner and I, but the reason we had not done content together is well.. we had to work and when we aren't working we're cleaning and World of Warcraft is a huge time commitment. We just did not have the same amount of time but for whatever reason we're being held to the same standards.
My partner and I basically stopped playing with the two of them. I would make myself completely busy inside the apartment on our roommates day off or I would play another game entirely until my partner got home and then we we do some content together but it only lasted maybe an hour before things just go bad for no reason. This was one day we were doing a +19 CoS, arguably one of the easier dungeons to time on high keys but it was my first 19 and my partners first 19. Like his first ever because he only got into doing keys because of me. It's a form of content I really enjoy especially as a healer. We're doing this +19 CoS and for the sixth time our room mate who plays the tank DH, says, I have this silence for the group of imps that all spam cast fireball and will kill you if not interrupted, and he did not have silence therefore I died and so did one of our guildies. This is not putting anything on a guildmate but we released and are running back and I had gone the wrong way and the guildie was just following me. Our roommate lost it on me. Asking me what was wrong with me and how could I do that during a 19 and I mean really screaming at me. I just stopped and said "Why are you speaking to me like that?" and he screams "BECAUSE IT'S A 19" to which my reply was, so? To be fair he did come up to me a few minutes after the dungeon and said sorry for being an asshole, but really he was like that anytime anything went wrong in a raid or dungeon from the release of the expansion. It wasn't only him either it was my partners identical twin brother as well. Just being toxic is the only word I have to explain it.
EDIT: My phone would not let me type out everything I needed to say without getting really bogged down so I'm doing that from my PC now. More information to come. I didn't realize I could just save as a draft.
I saw a lot of red flags other than him just being very unpleasant towards us in the apartment after a key or raid did not go his way. He works three days a week every other day. So for example his schedule will be Monday, Wednesday, Friday leaving him four days for whatever he wants. This time was spent doing absolutely nothing but playing World of Warcraft for 16 hours a day. I joke you not. I wake up at 5AM with my partner to get ready for the work day and our room mate would wake up an hour or two later, get on his pc, and stay there for the rest of the day. He would do this and neglect everything else including school work (I found out he dropped out because he could not keep up with working and going to school, I mostly think he stopped because all he did was play wow.) He would come home from his 8 hour shift, walk into his bedroom, change, sit on his PC and not move until the following early morning. This happened every day including days off for the next few months.
We have made quite a few friends playing games online and not being absolutely terrible at them. A friend of ours that we met two years ago who lives in Arizona just had a really bad break up and wanted to come to Victoria to get away and just have a good time. He was with us for 5 or 6 days and it was a really awesome experience. It made me realize a lot of things about this room mate though. I will admit in my mind I don't really consider him to be my friend anymore after the way he's spoken to me over a video game(I'm not being sensitive here I would describe his level of toxicity to be on par with those that play league of legends or people who just don't leave the basement) and how he leaves spaces once he is done with them. He is also incredibly condescending and always has something negative to say about whatever is going on in his the conversation. For example my partner downloaded a constellation ap on his phone since we're on the fifth floor and we've been watching the stars move around since early winter. Our roommate feels the need to aggressively state that constellations are just made up. It's okay to feel that way but to have that weird level of anger about it and to make anyone who looks at the stars or who recognizes a constellation as an idiot is really off putting. It also had nothing to do really with our interest in watching them move around. It was more of a navigation tool and the lore was interesting to us because every constellation is basically a dude or girl who had it so rough that becoming a constellation was the only resolution.
This friend came from Arizona to visit us during a very tense time in the apartment because my partner and I had just about had enough of the way we were being treated and spoken to over a video game/any disagreement within our topics of conversation.Our friend from Arizona cooked us dinner, cleaned up his mess when he was done, ran the dishwasher and put the dishes away the following morning. He also kept the place where he slept pretty organized and tidy. This friend also has ADHD and is suffering from depression due to things that were going on his life / this huge break up but was pleasant to speak to even if there was a difference of opinion. I don't think I've been around a lot of people who have ADHD and I realize that mental health presents differently in everyone. What I could tell was that this friend would get distracted easily and would have to keep reminding himself what he doing. It seemed almost like a ritual sometimes when he would go in a circle or loop of behaviors. He would go back or start at a certain point and almost re follow his train of thought which was interesting to watch. I'm sorry I'm trying to recount this experience and not be rude in anyway. It's really easy to see how our roommate could struggle with what he struggles with but ... we also see zero effort on his part to get better about those things. I brought up a lot of what goes on around the apartment to the friend who came to visit and expressed that this roommate does also have ADHD where in this person said okay that's valid but you have to put in the work. We then had a conversation about what he struggles with and how he combats it. Which I loved because it gave me so much insight into our roommate.
I'm getting pretty nervous and scared about living with this third person because I don't want to wake up to the apartment having been set on fire by his absent mindedness. I don't want to find out that I'm now very sick because he sucks at cleaning up after himself and I don't eat but the two of them do. I'm scared my partner is going to say something to him about his bathroom and our roommates emotional dysregulation is going to turn a simple request to keep his space clean into something more. I'm scared that we won't be able to have the nice things that we want to have because we pay for everything for this person. I know I stated above and earlier that he only works three days a week but I did not mention that his mom supplements his income by sending him $2,300 a month. $1,000 for rent and $1,300 for fun on top of the job he already works. He talks about how he has so much in savings right now and I think about how my partner has been covering his phone/internet/grocery/and weed bills since September and is running out of savings. I know this is his fault but it 's uncomfortable to ask someone for money multiple times. How many times is he supposed to ask for rent before it gets sent?
Everyone in the apartment smokes weed and of course we will smoke together thus making us smoke a bit more. The way we handle that is just splitting on ounces of weed after we go to the weed store. This guy never sends his half for the weed and smokes a huge portion of it. While playing World of Warcraft for his entire day he would hit the bong after every dungeon and dude was doing 100s of dungeons. He never once paid for an ounce of weed in that time or really since he's been here in September. This was because it's hard to ask him to send money for it over and over. Especially given that we have to speak to him almost daily about cleaning up after himself. THe last time my partner went to buy weed he asked if our roommate could be the one to pay for it. He seemed really offended and said he paid for half of the previous ounce and that they should just buy their own ounces from now one, but did not hesitate to smoke the ounce that my boyfriend had bought in the meantime and did not send/offer to send any money. This happens with things like dinner and grocery as well. He does not go to the store by himself to grab anything he could need he just eats food that my partner and I put into the house. We don't buy anything for him specifically we just buy food we like to eat and offer him some under the condition that he pays for food if he's eating it. He will send 1/3rd sometimes but wind up eating the majority of the food eaten. Given my partner is at work all day and only really snacks and eats a lot on the weekends. I don't eat meat and don't share a lot of similar foods with him so I eat my own things. When we do go to the grocery store together the only thing he grabs are snacks and when we get the total and split the cost three ways (me paying more than I have to since I don't like the snacks they get and really only get a few things- sorry I'm pretty mad about this point) he doesn't even send the money I found out. The last two/three times we went with a $300 grocery bill he has not contributed anything.
I don't really know what to do or what to say so I'm putting it out here on reddit. Please feel free to ask any other questions and I'll do my best to answer them because we need a resolution to this. The apartment doesn't feel like a positive and safe place anymore. It's just filled with frustration and confusion and those things cumulate and anyone would have a hard time functioning in this environment. My mental health needs this to improve because I can't waste my time cleaning and looking for a peaceful place only to have it taken from me not even 6 hours later. Thanks in advance and sorry if things are all over the place. I'm nervous about the post and feel like there is a lot of information and situations that lead us to where we are right now.

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