Hello A2C,
I’m a prospective parent and my father has presented me with 3 different suitors to have an arranged marriage with. I’m wondering which suitor you’d pick to maximize my chance of my child to get into a T20!
For some reference, I’m a female at Cornell studying at Dyson and I’ll be heading to Goldman Sachs as an IB analyst after graduation. My dad has donated $20 million to Cornell and is on the board of trustees! Anyway, here are the suitors:
Suitor 1: Demographics: Asian male majoring in CS at MIT Stats: dad made a $100 million donation to MIT. Son has started 3 unicorns by himself and is planning to donate even more to MIT.
Pros: - our babies are gonna be ultra geniuses with his genes 😍😍😍😍😍 - I won’t need to work a single day in my life after marrying him Cons: - MIT doesn’t offer legacy admissions so not sure if that 100mil+ donation will help - If my children are going to MIT, I’d have to trap them in a cage where they’re forced to do IMO problems until they’re 18 and that sorta takes the fun out of raising children
Suitor 2: Demographics: Caucasian male at Wharton. Stats: double legacy - mom is on the board of trustees and dad made a $10 million donation to Penn. All the son does is party all day, but he’s also going to Goldman after graduation.
Pros: - Wharton was my dream school and I’ve want to send my children to Penn! - Our children would be auto-admits if we have children fast enough and the parents are still involved Cons - Kinda worried that the son won’t be able to succeed his mom on the board. Parents are making a push but it’s getting harder and harder to get elected 🙄 - Son is sort of a brick so I’m worried about my children’s intelligence as well
Suitor 3: Demographics: Indian male at Harvard majoring in economics and applied math. Doing his PhD at Stanford after graduating and wants to be a professor Stats: Dad donated $50 million to Harvard. Mom is a Stanford alumni and she donated another $50 million to Stanford. Son is super well connected with professors there but that’s about it. Pros: - like the first suitor, ultra genius babies 😍😍😍 - I get to choose two great schools - Harvard and Stanford! Cons: - This suitor won’t be making as much as the other two so I’d have to work my butt off 😐 - He’s also not as interested in college names like the other 2, which is really frustrating cuz he’s going to two of the best schools in the country!
So those are basically the suitors. Let me know which one you think are best!!!

Is anyone interested in critiquing the first chapter of my planned cultivation fantasy series. Sort of an alpha reader? it's less than 1800 words. I want to get several people's opinions of my prose before I write more chapters.
“I can’t wait to eat it.” Gong Li salivated over his next meal. Which was unfortunate, on account of the fact that it wasn’t dead yet.
Over 30 paces away from where he hid was a gnarlwood elk, its hind quarters marked by significant scarring that almost resembled burn marks. Presumably from a recent run in with a predator.
The gnarlwood elk was a truly majestic spirit beast that naturally cultivated the aspect of wood. And as was typically the case for spirit beasts, the path of its cultivation expressed itself in its unique physiology. The creature’s skin was the color of smooth, deep brown bark. It had fur like a normal elk, but it was green and looked more like moss that covered little of the lower half of the beast’s body. The elk sported massive antlers that more closely resembled gnarled tree branches, hence its namesake, with large flower buds growing out from it. Those flower buds were more than mere decoration, however. When opened, they would produce a pollen like substance. When exposed to it, a potential predator would experience severe irritation in its eyes and respiratory system. Also, the beast was about the size of a draft horse.
Li licked his lips in anticipation. “Mhm wood chi infused venison. My meat and veggies all in one bite.”
The Gnarlwood Elk stood cautiously in a clearing in the forest. It drank from a nearby brook, occasionally scanning the area for any signs of predators.
But Gong Li’s next meal wouldn’t find him. He had been on hunts before, but this was the first time he was permitted to join in on the hunt of a spirit beast. Such a thing would normally be too dangerous for someone of his cultivation and he was not expected to take part in the hunt itself. But the important thing was that the spirit beast didn’t notice him. This was an opportunity for Li to demonstrate his ability to suppress his spiritual power. What little he had as a mortal realm cultivator, anyway. Failing to do so might cost him and others their lives the elders of his clan told him. So he was sent on this hunt alongside his cousin Gong Fang and his team of beast hunters to prove his worth.
“Ready”, whispered the man himself in the bushes on Gong Li’s left. Gong Fang sported wild, spiky black hair that shimmered in the noonday sun with oil. His lean corded muscles clearly visible, as he wasn’t wearing a shirt. They bulged as if ready to rip out of his skin as he prepared himself for the hunt.
“Ready,” To Gong Fang’s own left was a woman. Gong Yue was built tall but slender. She shared the tanned complexion that most of the Gong Clan sported, which contrasted nicely with her short, silver hair. After a brief flash of light surrounded her uplifted hands, a wooden bow with a dark blue stone above the grip appeared in her grasp.
“Fire,” Gong Fang catapulted himself out of his hiding spot and into the clearing keeping up a storm of dirt and grass as he went. Gong Yue summoned an updraft, allowing her to take flight and break off small tree branches. As she knocked her arrow, the dark blue stone socketed into her bow’s limbs glowed with sparks of lightning inside. The sparks made their way to the bow proper, and Gong Li could smell the faint hint of ozone in the air.
The beast immediately knew something was wrong, but it was too late. Just as the gnarlwood elk popped its head back up, the arrow struck its neck. The beast reeled.
Gong Fang continued his charge, summoning a massive curved cleaver from his storage ring.
Gong Li watched as the beast struggled to get back on its feet, but the electrical current from the arrow had overloaded its nervous system. It violently flung mud into the air as Gong Yue fired another arrow into its flank.
As he closed in Gong Fang launched himself over ten paces into the air. He came down on the creature’s neck hard; The weight of the sword, his body and his technique. Together they easily cleaved through the base of the creature's neck. Gore sputtered out from the elk’s body and onto Fang but he jumped away from his fallen prey before the flower buds on the antlers blossomed. The beauty of the vibrant yellow petals were marred by the red gore that now covered them.
Fang was grinning. Grinning with the mischievous glee like a kid in an abandoned candy shop.
“Yeah! That’s what I’m talking about.” Fang triumphed over his kill. His enthusiasm was contagious. Li couldn’t help but cheer as well, despite the gory scene.
As Li and Yue caught up to Fang, Yue generated a current of air around them. The current, shaped like a dome, would keep the pollen from the flowers from getting to them.
Fang looked down at Li was a few finger widths shorter. “so little cousin tell me what you think of our technique?”
“Your methods are solid. Yue using lightning to paralyze the target, which gives you time to close the distance and quickly deliver a killing blow. I initially wondered why you use a cleaver instead of a spear as a melee hunting weapon, but now I see the logic of it. Cooks typically use cleavers to cut through bone and thick meat. However, a cleaver style sword can also be an effective way of killing an enemy quickly if you have the strength and precision to wield it. If you attempted to pierce the large Grade 2 beast’s neck with a spear and raw strength alone, it wouldn’t have guaranteed a kill. Given the strong hide and healing factor of the target. But by using force chi, you can apply greater kinetic energy and wield a heavier weapon.”
Fang grinned and looked towards Yue. “Told you he was a smart one.”
“Do you use this strategy against all your targets?” Li asked.
“No. Different prey calls for different methods. Although this is the strategy we use most often. We specialize in hunting large herbivores. That’s what sells the best prices on the market, anyway. They’re also the main course for the most profitable dishes of the clan owned restaurant. Also you’d be amazed what a pair of testicles from just about any large spirit beast would go for.
Li raised a skeptical eyebrow. “Spirit beast testicles?”
Yue interjected. “Many people think the testicles of large spirit beasts make for a potent aphrodisiac and may even increase fertility. There’s not much evidence to support the claim, but who am I to deny a fool so eager to part with his money?”
Fang barked a laugh. “Especially if it’s lining my pockets, eh.”
“We should get moving now,” Yue started scanning the area. “The scars on the elk may look old, but wood aspected beasts have an especially efficient healing factor. The creature that gave it those wounds could be nearby.
“Alright then, just give me five minutes to clean my sword and wash the blood off in the brook.
As Fang made his way to the brook Li turned towards Yue. “I was wondering, cousin Yue. Why use a bow with a lightning aspected beast core instead of cultivating it yourself? It would seem like the perfect fit to supplement your wind path.”
Yue shook her head, “Well, for one, the lightning aspect is hard on the body. It’s one of the most difficult aspects to cultivate.”
“No offense, but you don’t cross me as the type who would fear a little hard work.”
“No I’m not. But…” Yue trailed off.
“Funds. Right?
Yue gave Fang a regrettable expression. “Lightning is also one of the rarer aspects out there. To learn to adapt to cycling it through my meridians, any large quantity would require me to go through several Grade 2 beast cores. The clan simply doesn’t have those kinds of resources anymore. Our current situation is the reason why the elders requested we take you on this hunt with us. While your own path was designed for smithing the metal and fire aspect have obvious combat applications. They want as many of us prepared to defend the clan as possible. Should our enemies decide to take advantage of our weakness and hasten the clan’s fall.
As Li contemplated the clan’s current predicament, he found himself suddenly slapped with a torrent of water. After recovering from the initial shock, Li looked in Fang’s general direction. And there he was beaming with satisfaction in the brook over 10 paces away, sword in hand.
“You bastard.” Yue screamed.
Fang simply laughed and pulled back his weapon. He dipped the bulk of the cleaver in the water and made a sweeping motion back towards Li and Yue creating another wave of water. The water was accelerated to deceptively high velocities due to his application of force chi to enhance the swing. Yue was ready for him this time however. She generated a wall of wind chi that redirected the wave of water back at Fang. The combined force of the water and Yue’s wind technique knocked Fang off his feet submerging him in the brook’s shallow waters.
Yue laughed.
Li flicked off a piece of the gnarlwood elk’s bark-like carapace off his shoulder with a sigh of irration. “You’re a child cousin Fa-.”
Li found himself smacked hard by a current of air. He went spinning and before he knew his face smacked hard into the dirt, dazed. It took a moment to realize what had happened. Yue had struck him with her own technique. But why? He was only a mortal realm cultivator. She wouldn’t have hit him with an attack that hard, only for her own amusement.
His head was spinning, but Li did his best to lift it up and look around. It was then that he came to realize what had happened.
The impact knocked him a clean fifteen paces away, on the other side of the stream for his own safety. For the predator had arrived to claim its wounded prey.

I'm researching things online and can't seem to find out how the heck to collect mushroom culture in the petri dishes. I'm going to buy some pre-filled agar plates, but I can't find a single tutorial online that isn't using high tech industrial supplies. :( Surely there's a way to grow mushrooms at home without a million dollars...?

I'm 23 (M) and she is 19 (F)
So basically would you consider emotional neglect (not showing enough love) if your partner has really bad IBS-D and he can't go out much, maybe once a week or twice, but is usually at home due to flare ups (if they did therapy, colonoscopies, took different meds to no avail) is this something worth breaking up a 2 year long relationship over?
I am asking because I am suffering from that IBS and I couldn't take my girl out much and we would mostly walk in parks or go sometimes to a bar because of my nasty condition (NOT USING THIS AS EXCUSE) but I seriously had almost had xyz amount of times where I could've had an accident or two outside and I need to be close to toilet at all times and usually I spend 20 mins in there.
My gf said we didn't do much as couple because of that and that she feels like I didn't show her love and affection even though I was always supportive of her, her decisions, bought her stuff, paid for her trips and never cheated, lied, raised my voice or hit her.
I don't want to be petty but this really did hurt me in a way, because I thought she understood me a bit better and because she knew what hell I went through trying to find medication to fix my stomach.
She said I didn't show her love and had other priorities (like working from home long hours) but she didn't really call me out much nor was she asking me all that often to go out, so I'm confused here because on one hand maybe I should've forced myself to somehow put it through and go out with her more even though I had to go to bathroom sometimes 4 times in an hour and it would be urgent.
But then again, she didn't complain before, sometimes she'd suggest us to stuff which sometimes we would do and sometimes we couldn't because of my health issues. I am confused and really kind of sad that I can't provide and show her love in that way, but I am trying my best to show her love in every other way, she said she wants memories and to go out more now and said she didn't feel loved in the past year or so... I didn't even notice that tbh.
I feel like this is an ultimatum now before she's off for good, because I couldn't meet her needs and because I was emotionally abusive? Or was I? I am confused because she knows how bad my condition is and how I can't even train like I did a couple of years ago nor go out for walks as it really effed me up and my social life because of how bad it is on a daily basis, now it's a little bit better because I finally found some meds that can somewhat help but other than that I still have strong symptoms mostly... Lately she's been slow fading on me and acting distant and there's a guy that I don't know that goes to the gym with her that is snooping on my social media... She even wanted me to give her phone so she can see what I was talking to my good girl friend about, because I have one girl friend that I knew for so long and she never asked me for my phone, I gave it to her but I have a feeling that she could be losing interest in me or maybe she is saying this as a way of finding reason to pull the plug. I am kind of confused and hurt and sad I couldn't provide her with things that she wanted like better dates or longer dates or more dates or trips... I hate myself.
TL:DR my gf said I didn't show her love and affection for the past year because we didn't go out much and such but she knows I have "crippling" IBSD and I can't literally go out much most of the time (we went out maybe once a week or 2 times) because other times I would be literally going to the toilet 10'+ times a day and having to spend 20 mins in it at a time is no fun... Am I neglecting her or what's going on? I want to go out more, I really do, but it's really hard for me and I made it clear to her, but I usually initiate going out after all, because she doesn't do that as much yet she complains about it now after 2 years...

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he grabbed my Jean jacket and held onto my bag at an amusement park ,he paid for my ice cream let’s me have a sip of his drink when I ask him,he held my hand at the park bc “my hands were colder” than his lol, instead of going with his friends he sat with me on most of the amusement park rides we bumped shoulders while walking to the roller coasters, almost actually held hands on one of the rides kept checking up on me making sure I didn’t pass out, didn’t want me to pay him back for the ice cream, WE LISTENED TO TAYLOR SWIFT TOGETHER AND HE ADDED IT TO HIS LIKED SONGS btw he added cardigan and i think all too well 10 minutes version LOL, On the bus he tied our sweaters together to make a blanket,Our knees touched at food court, on the bus and in dominos today he didn’t move it away showed me his favorite bands, also im going to a concert with him next week but his younger cousin and their friend is coming with us. Also he lets me play with his hair. Im scared because we have been friends for half a year and my friends all tell me that he likes me. He also has a friend who is a girl and he told my friends that she is just a sister to him.. I dont know if he also thinks of me as a sister im getting mixed signals pls help omg…

My reddit colleages, I come to you in my time of need. My family is in crisis and I need advice. This is a long one, so buckle up.
So about 10 years ago my sister (50) lost a job and couldn't pay rent. My parents agreed to let her move back in to go to school. Unfortunately against my advice, she decided to get a degree in a niche area without many jobs. She graduated a few years ago and is working part time jobs in the field but making shit money, has no benefits, and is having a hard time finding a fulltime job.
The first thing to know here is that my sister is the most difficult person I have ever met, and saying she is a bitch would be a massive understatement. She is basically a teenager in an adult body and I have never met anyone else like this.
And my parents are the nicest people ever, and have always had to help her in one way or another. So when she couldn't pay rent they let her move in. A year later when she couldn't afford the storage unit, they gave up the garage. When she graduated, they paid so she could fly across the country to her graduation. And during all this time, she hasn't paid a penny towards the household, but is somehow in debt. Oh and did I mention the home cooked meals? Because I sure as fuck will get to that.
As far as the living situation, they are all in a tiny house and it has become completely toxic. My sister verbally abuses my mom every day. It doesn't matter what my mom says or does, she will get yelled at for no reason. We are talking about crazy shit. And if my mom dares respond, then she is told that she is "nasty", or called a "bitch" among many other things.
She can't even control herself when I come to visit and we always get into fights about it and I am told to "shut the fuck up and mind my business". She is completely in denial of her behavior. I have seen her lose her shit because my mom dared to suggest that she cook something for herself. She has even lashed out several times and said "I can't stand this fucking family". She walks around looking absolutely miserable and the negative energy consumes the room when she walks in.
And during this time my father came down with a serious health condition and he's not even free from her bullshit. He can barely walk and has been yelled at for eating stuffing she wanted.
But beyond that, she is a control freak and has competely taken over the house. She controls the AC, TV volumes, and lights, at all times. If my parents change the AC, she will literally come out of her room within a minute to change it back. If we are in the living room, she will change the lights to her liking, and then go in her room and close the door. When she decides it's bedtime, living room is off limits and my parents are forced to go into their room. And "bedtime" is several hours before she actually goes to sleep. She just wants my parents in their room so she can enjoy silence.
They have become prisoners in their own home, and feel like they can't even leave their bedroom. But she will also barge in their room anytime she pleases. It's her house, they just pay for it and get in her way.
Now let's get to the fucking dinners. Even though she verbally abuses my mom on a daily basis, she also expects my mom in her 70s to make her home cooked meals every night. To the extent that she will text "what's for dinner" every day. And if it's cooked wrong, or the serving size is incorrect, it's time to yell at the chef. And guess who doesn't pay for any of this food? Getting takeout tonight? Guess who's paying. She has never so much as offered to pay for a pizza. If my parents meet their friends at a restaurant, they are expected to bring her home dinner. And my parents are still trying to work so they can support all 3 of them. And then after she is served, she won't say a fucking word, and will continue looking miserable.
I know the first thing the people are going to say is that they have enabled her to get to this point. Absolutely true and they realize it. And now it has been going on for so long and they are overwhelmed and don't know how to escape the situation. They have enough to deal with due to my father's health issues, and he doesn't have the mental strength to deal with this anymore. My mom is depressed, cries, and is practically begging me to help with this. I am worried about their health and the stress this is putting on them. And I am absolutely fucking furious that she is stealing their older years from them, and how she treats them, so I have been trying to intervene.
Now let's jump back to the job situation. There are basically no jobs in her field. We can't ask about the job search, or it's an immediate fight. And she is just too stubborn to take advice. I have had a pretty good career, and I try to offer advice, but I might as well be offering it to a cat who would probably listen better. As far as I know, the search has been pretty half assed.
So I can't let this situation continue. I felt like I could convince her to leave if I made it financially possible. I spent weeks staying up till 4am making myself physically sick. Running numbers and coming up with plans. Basically seeing if I can come up with a way for her to afford rent and bills for 6 months which would give her time to find a new job. And after dozens of hours I figured out a way to make it work with loans, debt restructuring, and me giving her a lot of money.
I approached her and said that she needs to move for her own good and for our parents, and that I came up with a financial plan to make it possible. I presented the plan, and the response? "I hope you didn't tell mom about this plan". My jaw must have hit the fucking floor.
I kept pushing and saying that I was concerned about how the stress in the house is affecting our parents, and the response was, "you're being ridiculous". When I told her that mom was having chest tightness from all the fighting, I was told "she brings it on herself". I have never been so fucking angry when I saw a text. Not even from my whore ex girlfriend that was pregnant from another dude and told me it was mine.
I have continued making myself crazy offering everything I can to make her leave. Loans, thousands of dollars, cosigning leases, movers, furniture. You name it, I have offered. But she won't fucking budge. And I know she needs money, so I told her the only way she's getting a dime is when I see a signed lease or at least a reserved apartment.
Even with all the security I've offered, she is now refusing to leave until she finds a new job. And then I expect her to move the goalpost. It could be years. There is always going to be some excuse not to leave and my parents are expected to deal with this for as long as it suits her.
So I don't know what the fuck to do. I need to get her out immediately but she will not take any steps even when offered financial assistance. I really don't want to go down the road of evictions or courts or cops. I think the stress of that on my parents would be equally bad, and would destroy our family. We recently got in a fight and I told her that if it was me, I would evict her, and she called me an asshole.
I know another option people talk about is for my parents to move. Again, the health issue is one concern, but they also won't be able to find a place with as low of a mortgage payment they have now, and they are very tight with money as it is.
The only other thing I have been able to think of is signing a second lease, paying for a few months, and hiring movers to come get her shit. That scares the hell out of me for my own credit and if I need to move, but I don't know what other options I have. And not sure if it's even legal.
But please, does anyone have any fucking advice for me?!

Welp, it happened. We danced and now we have to pay the fiddler. This is going to be a long post— part explanation that I think I want to write out for my own sake, part plea for sympathy for how hard this is, and part… who knows.
We’ve been together for 8 years. We had a long talk about engagement one night in autumn 2019 and he gave me a music box of a little bride and groom. That same night I got incredibly sick and ended up hospitalized, then in a rehab program, having to leave my job and house and move back in with my parents. We put the wedding on pause until things got more normal. I was healthy, feeling normal, processing the losses I’d had, and started job hunting again in February 2020.
March 2020 was not normal. We were scared shitless for 6 months, like everyone was. Once things calmed down a small amount, we talked about eloping. Nope, we decided. We wanted a wedding-wedding. Plus, his mom didn’t think he was ready, and her disapproval really affected him. Marriage is a good thing, a celebration. Let’s wait until we can make it a celebration.
And around that time, too, we started making love. I know, I know. We shouldn’t have. We’d been together for 6 years by then. College, mental illness flare-ups, a disaster internship for me, his mom’s cancer, my sickness, a parent divorce, losing grandparents, his mother’s disapproval of him dating anyone at all, sexual harassment, the pandemic. The world was scary. Being together was safe.
We’d talked about sex at the start of our relationship and decided no, we would wait. Occasionally it got brought up again and we knew we weren’t ready to be parents, so we said no, we’ll wait. We had a conversation at one point where he said he felt ready. I asked him what would happen if we got pregnant. He said we’d live our lives in love like we had always planned. We weren’t in bed, we weren’t all riled up. We were our normal and rational selves. I had trusted my mind and my soul with him for years. It made sense that I trusted my body with him, too. I regret some things, I really do. But I can’t regret trusting him, and I can’t regret him trusting me.
So, early 2023. We’re both in good places professionally and health-wise. He says he’s struggling to pick out a ring that is like, we decide to go ring shopping together. It was such a happy day. We decided on a custom one and picked out elements to combine, so it was still going to be a nice surprise.
My period had been late. I had been working 60, 65 hour weeks in November and December and I had had a nasty respiratory bug in December. I’d been having cramps and spotting for a couple days and was like “Yep! This is my period!” But it still didn’t come. I took a test when we went back to my place after looking at rings. I didn’t even tell him. He was watching TikTok in my living room when I walked out and said “Hey, my period is still being weird, so I figured…” Then I saw the result.
We were numb for a while. I called a friend who’d just had a baby, who is a good Catholic who did everything correctly. She was kind and loving told me congrats. I was in complete shock. It didn’t seem real at all. We would do maybe 10-30 minutes of practical discussion, then I’d sob hysterically for about 10-30 minutes, then I’d calm down, then start again.
He was really strong at first. A bit quiet, just taking care of me. Eventually it all hit him. It’s one of the worst things I can remember seeing. He was in so much pain. He and his mom had never talked openly about relationships and sex. She disapproved of me. She would tell him “Don’t ruin your life tonight,” whenever he would spend time with me.
I’ll admit we talked about termination. We’d never considered it, of course we hadn’t. I was also scared that I had hurt Baby— we didn’t know how far along I was, I was on two medications that weren’t recommended for pregnancy, I’d taken copious amounts of OTC cold and fever reliever, and I had binge drank a few times in the month before. Going back to my last period, it was possible I was 9 weeks along at that point with no symptoms except cramps and spotting.
It’s really easy to say “You got pregnant, you pay the consequences. Move in, get married, buy the diapers.” Everything is so much easier said than done. I had to find a sublease for my apartment. We both had to move. We had to find an OB. Our work schedules are different and had no days off in common after my Christmas break— one of us would have to miss work to go to any appointments. And that’s without all the pain of pregnancy, delivery, and a newborn.
We had to think about my job— I’m a teacher and I have been working with a group of students for two years. I was supposed to be able to work with them a third year. I PUSHED at work to be able to be keep working with them. I got additional certifications, I balanced rigor with fun to keep kids engaged, I reached out to parents and families constantly, and I told the kids that I’d be there next year, and yes, they had to sign up for my classes. I told 120 children that I would be there for them as they kept going in high school.
We had always planned on my staying home with a baby when we got there. I’m a teacher and I’ve worked with younger kids. Childcare is crazy expensive. What’s the point of paying someone to get yelled at by my kid while I commute to get… yelled at by kids? I’ve also had mental health issues and knew for a long time that leaving my baby too early wasn’t going to work for me. Having a baby meant leaving my job and leaving the kids I’d built painstaking relationships with.
So, right after finding out, it was pretty much agony. (At one point the night after taking the test, we did play a board game together.)
The first appointment was terrifying. I cried. The OB was very nice. He held my hand the whole time. I also felt so stupid. When was my last period? Early November. What birth control were you using? None. How did it take me 9 weeks to consider being pregnant? And if being pregnant was so horrible, why had we had sex? The first ultrasounds they do are transvaginal. They put a big stick up your vagina. Not fun.
I cried when we saw the embryo. Good and bad cried. Good because it’s an absolute miracle. Bad because we weren’t ready for this miracle. I have always wanted kids. Always. Always always. But in those moments… I had been hoping something bad had happened and we could wrap this all up. But we couldn’t. There was a 6 week embryo, healthy as could be. We heard the heartbeat.
Outside on the street after the appointment, we were numb.
We stopped walking and looked at each other and we both smiled, maybe for the first time that we smiled about this. He touched my face. “We’re going to be parents,” he said. We kissed. He touched my belly. We were going to be okay.
I’m very lucky. I’m in my late 20s. I’m well-educated and have a job in my field. I’ve worked with children and babies. I am in a relationship with the father, a healthy relationship. I’ve been in therapy on and off for years and have a good handle on recognizing my needs and emotions. I have supportive family and I have family who can buy baby supplies or help with rent or expenses if worst comes to worst. I have friends in my city, I have friends who have children, and friends who are teachers and nurses. I have my sister’s codependent best friend, who is NOT ready to have kids and has no experience with them, and signed herself up for Grandparent/ caregiver classes when she found out.
And still. It’s been so hard. Moving is exhausting. Just cleaning my apartment to get the pictures to advertise the sublease was too much! I had to go off one medication and fatigue was a side effect of quitting it cold turkey—I slept 18-20 hours a day for a week and a half. Eventually nausea and vomiting hit and I had to navigate that, medication for it, and side effects. And I pee myself every time I throw up.
I’ve missed so much work— I’d be fired if I wasn’t already leaving. My students are happy for me (and LOVE asking me about baby names and clothes and stuff) but I’ve had kids look me dead in the eye and say, “You can’t leave us. I can’t be at this school without your class and your room during lunch.” My fiancé’s mom is extremely disappointed— she hasn’t said the words “pregnancy,” or “baby,” and she hasn’t asked about me when they talk. My fiancé has two leather chairs that are family heirlooms, and my cat clawed at them the day after he moved in.
We need to be married to be on the insurance, so we had to ask the church if we could be married despite my evidence of sin, or if we should get married at the courthouse. We had a lot of special touches planned for our wedding, and I have a lot of emotions about having to do a small wedding instead.
I think I’m writing all this to ask for sympathy, for me and for others. Please see the paragraph about ways I’m extremely lucky. I just keep thinking about women and girls in this situation who don’t have what I have— a stable relationship, a job, supportive parents, friends who can give used baby gear and step up to help.
It’s not easy. I’m going to be just fine, and this is just going to be a blip in the story of our family. Just please believe me that it’s not easy. Please reach out to your pregnant and parenting friends and family and offer help. If you can, please support programs for young moms and victims of abuse. For Americans, please support paid parental leave at your own jobs and on a bigger scale. Please be kind and giving.
Thank you for reading.

1 Aun'shi
2 Metal kroot hounds
10 Kroot
1 Kroot Shaper (metal)
1 Riptide
1 Hammerhead
1 Combat patrol (partially assembled and painted)
1 Old broadside with metal guns
$ 250 shipped
1 NIB Custodian guard
$35 shipped
​
Recast Tyranid Titan and printed stormsurge also available (make an offer)
https://imgur.com/a/b0ohy5p
(all prices OBO, shipped to US)

Hello Banff community,
My wife and I are thrilled to be planning our first-ever trip to Banff. We're extremely excited about the journey, and we've put together an itinerary. However, as Banff newcomers, we'd really appreciate your feedback and suggestions. We're hoping to confirm whether our plan seems feasible and not overly packed. Also, we're not big on hiking and want a relaxing trip, so we'd prefer suggestions that don't involve strenuous hikes. Here's our schedule:
Monday, June 5th:

• 8:45 AM: Arrival at Calgary Airport.
• 10:00 AM: Pick up rental car and drive to Canmore.
• 12:00 PM: Arrive at hotel in Canmore to drop off luggage.
• 12:30 PM: Lunch break.
• 2:30 - 4:30 PM: Visit to the Banff Gondola (pre-booked).
• 6:00 PM: Lake Minnewanka Cruise (pre-booked).
• 8:00 PM: Return to Canmore for hotel check-in and overnight stay.

Tuesday, June 6th:

• Morning: Canoeing at Lake Louise and visit Lake Moraine.
• Afternoon: Explore Mount Norquay lookout, Vermillion Lake, and downtown Banff.

Wednesday, June 7th:

• Columbus Icefields Skywalk and Glacier Adventure (pre-booked), followed by visits to Peyto Lake and Bow Lake.

Thursday, June 8th:

• Early check-out and travel to Calgary for city exploration and shopping at the largest mall.
• 1:00 PM: Rental car return.
• 3:45 PM: Departure flight.

If there are any "must-see" spots we're missing or if there's anything that seems too ambitious, we'd love your input. Additionally, if you think we have some extra time to add a few more relaxing activities, please let us know.
Thank you so much for your help!

My fiancé and I recently got engaged and I’m considering getting a prenup done. We’re both in our mid/late 20s.
I currently make $540k/yr and have a total net worth of $425k (comprised of ~$200k in retirement accounts and ~$200k in equity across 2 real estate properties where one is my primary residence and the other is a rental)
My fiancé just recently got a job making $120k/yr and her current net worth is <$10k in random stocks. She does have the potential to be making $200k-$300k within the next 5y
I despise working so my goal is to work until our net worth is a minimum of $3 million in today’s dollars (outside of primary residence) and then decide if I want to retire or keep pushing a bit more. I definitely want to stop working at $10m in today’s dollars if I choose to keep working for that long
My fiancé enjoys working and has no intention of retiring anytime soon regardless of net worth.
Although my fiancé is hesitant, we are both agreeing to combine our finances upon marriage. Our combined household income will be ~$650k/yr. Potentially upwards of $800k/yr+ in a few years
A few questions:
1) Is the financial imbalance large enough in this case to warrant a prenup?
2) If yes to the previous question, what are some considerations I should keep in mind given I do have a considerably larger net worth and income as compared to my fiancé (our incomes might become more similar in the future, but I don’t want to play the what-if game and instead focus on what’s true today)?

he grabbed my Jean jacket and held onto my bag at an amusement park ,he paid for my ice cream let’s me have a sip of his drink when I ask him,he held my hand at the park bc “my hands were colder” than his lol, instead of going with his friends he sat with me on most of the amusement park rides we bumped shoulders while walking to the roller coasters, almost actually held hands on one of the rides kept checking up on me making sure I didn’t pass out, didn’t want me to pay him back for the ice cream, WE LISTENED TO TAYLOR SWIFT TOGETHER AND HE ADDED IT TO HIS LIKED SONGS btw he added cardigan and i think all too well 10 minutes version LOL, On the bus he tied our sweaters together to make a blanket,Our knees touched at food court, on the bus and in dominos today he didn’t move it away showed me his favorite bands, also im going to a concert with him next week but his younger cousin and their friend is coming with us. Also he lets me play with his hair. Im scared because we have been friends for half a year and my friends all tell me that he likes me. He also has a friend who is a girl and he told my friends that she is just a sister to him.. I dont know if he also thinks of me as a sister im getting mixed signals pls help omg…

Timestamp: https://imgur.com/a/E8FHwIG

 Rules! 

-Only PPFF or Venmo FF any more questions, feel free to pm me. Thanks!!
-Don’t dibs an item and ghost in pm
-First dibs gets it
-Must send payment within 30 min or I will move on
-If it’s not marked out, it’s up for grabs
-No notes!!!
-If I don’t reply right away, I more likely have terrible signal and will reply ASAP
-Don’t “dibs” something and try to lowball in the DMs
-All prices are shipped unless otherwise stated

 ITEMS 

URG-I ish 12.5 Larue stealth barrel 10.5 MK16 handguard Spikes tactical Square marked upper Surefire SFMB Nickel boron BCG BCM charging handle BCM Gas block SI US flag dust cover
$800(will not part out)
X300U-B ultra $200
RM06 3.25 type 2 w/screws, sealing plate, new battery, and trijicon box(not original box)
$390(bottom dollar)
RM08 12.9 Green Triangle $335(bottom dollar)
Armaspec buffer $50
Timney trigger (brand new) $105
Ripcord Keyhole marked upper $85
Glock 43 slide(stripped) w/barrel $190

 Trades 

None at this time, currently saving to replace my engine.

he grabbed my Jean jacket and held onto my bag at an amusement park ,he paid for my ice cream let’s me have a sip of his drink when I ask him,he held my hand at the park bc “my hands were colder” than his lol, instead of going with his friends he sat with me on most of the amusement park rides we bumped shoulders while walking to the roller coasters, almost actually held hands on one of the rides kept checking up on me making sure I didn’t pass out, didn’t want me to pay him back for the ice cream, WE LISTENED TO TAYLOR SWIFT TOGETHER AND HE ADDED IT TO HIS LIKED SONGS btw he added cardigan and i think all too well 10 minutes version LOL, On the bus he tied our sweaters together to make a blanket,Our knees touched at food court, on the bus and in dominos today he didn’t move it away showed me his favorite bands, also im going to a concert with him next week but his younger cousin and their friend is coming with us. Also he lets me play with his hair. Im scared because we have been friends for half a year and my friends all tell me that he likes me. He also has a friend who is a girl and he told my friends that she is just a sister to him.. I dont know if he also thinks of me as a sister im getting mixed signals pls help omg…

I am in a bit of a panic as it has recently become clear to me that I may be in a very disadvantageous tax situation already, and I want to figure out how to resolve it and move forward without encountering these problems in the future. Had I understood things more clearly when I began this investment journey, I may not be in this position, but the details were elusive to me on what qualified as a PFIC and I was only just learning everything as I went. It mainly came down to misleading myself that certain investments were okay because there seemed to be strict policies in place on what I could or could not buy as an American, so I made the wrong (in hindsight) assumption that if Rakuten Securities allowed me to buy into a fund or stock, it would probably be okay.
Currently, my situation is as follows:

1. I am an American, in my mid-thirties, who has lived in Japan for the better part of 13 years.
2. I plan on retiring in Japan. My retirement planning began 3-4 years ago, as I made barely enough money to survive for the bulk of that time living in here.
3. I now own a home here.
4. I am married to a Japanese national, with two children.
5. I came to Japan for my first “real” job and had no investment or retirement accounts open in the US. It now seems more or less impossible to open one back in the US and to be certain it will stay open until I retire, which seems to be one of the major ways Americans maintain a decent investment strategy.
6. There is no one back home who I can ask to use an address of, and I would like to shy away from that particular strategy as it seems to be recommended for short/mid-term stays in Japan and not for permanent/long-term stays.
7. My current brokerage in Japan is Rakuten Securities.
8. I have an iDeCo account (investment type) that is set up through Rakuten via JIS&T that has a bit under 1,000,000 yen so far, with 100% of my current holdings in the account being the 楽天米国INDEX楽天DC fund. (PFIC alert)
9. I have a normal NISA account that has approximately 4,600,000 yen in it that contains investments in three different mutual funds—iShares S&P500, eMAXIS Slim All Countries, and eMAXIS Slim S&P500. (PFIC alert)
10. I hold shares in a company that plans to go public and I expect the proceeds (capital gains) to be worth anywhere from 40-120,000,000 within the next couples years at most. This is a Japanese company that should not qualify as a PFIC.

I have begun reaching out to various financial advisors that specialize in expat situations, specifically looking for those who will work with Americans, but as expected, it seems most will not touch me until I have somewhere around $250,000 in assets, which I am a bit far away from. If the IPO mentioned above goes off without a hitch, I could suddenly find myself worthy of their time, but it is not a guarantee that will all pan out. Honestly, if I were sure it would all work out, it would only serve to make it even more important to have a plan on how to cash out in the least painful way tax-wise, so ideally I would like to get my ducks in a row before it happens.
My current ideas (none of which are ideal, at all) are:

1. Cash out my NISA next year when the new system begins, deal with all of the tax complications then and hopefully never again, and throw all of my money into my wife’s NISA, as she will almost certainly never be able to hit maximum contribution limits on her own account anyways. (I am worried if this is actually legal from a Japanese perspective, as she would end up putting more money into that yearly than her own post-tax salary). From that point on, only invest either through my wife’s accounts or only in non-PFIC Japanese stock. I dislike the idea of having my money being the responsibility, or property, or someone else, regardless of who it is, as I would feel equally uncomfortable in the reverse position.
2. Keep trying to open an account at a broker like Interactive Brokers and do my investing through there. I am worried that I will run into more tax issues in reverse though in retirement when I need to report world-wide earnings in Japan.
3. Continue investing as I am now and hope that, by the time I need to sell and realize my capital gains, tax law has changed to be less punitive for US expats actually living abroad (eg: in the future, individuals who pass the physical presence test do not need to pay taxes on foreign accounts originating from that country vs. individuals holding/hiding money overseas while living in the US.) This is very obviously a risky and overly-optimistic choice, but a thought I had nonetheless. To be clear, this would mean I would comply with the current tax law at that time even if it did not change.
4. Renounce my US citizenship. I would very much like to avoid this, at least until I am older and more certain of what my children plan to do with their lives, but this would eliminate so many headaches from a retirement-planning perspective. Additionally, it seems to me that mathematically it makes a lot more sense to do this sooner while my assets are low than to wait until retirement age and have to pay an insane exit tax.

I guess I would like to know if anyone has been in a similar situation and how they resolved it, or if anyone has any advice? As I said, I am reaching out to financial institutions to try to get advice, but again, I am not a big enough fish to qualify for actual services. This is very frustrating, as it appears to be virtually impossible to plan for retirement while actually following all of the rules properly without taking a massive hit somewhere that I cannot help but feels like a penalty for being an expat (“following the rules” would rule out having a US-brokerage account registered to a family member’s address, for example, as that seems to be technically illegal from what I have read).
I would be happy to hear literally anything, including corrections to some of my assumptions or statements above, along with any advice on either what someone in a similar situation has done or even recommendations on a good place to go to that may actually service me with my relatively low total liquid assets (somewhere around 12,000,000 yen). Sorry for the long post, but I think the specifics of the situation may lead to vastly different advice, so I wanted to include as much as possible.

Heya were the spreadnecks, currently 46/50 and looking to fill up, get back to 50s and hopefully get some good new people who are active and in it for the long run.
We have a very strong core of about 35 people who always participate in wars, up to 40 per war atm. We need dedicated people to help us push onward!
Discord link: discord.gg/Bc4XcRzw
Crystal II in CWL. Lvl 9 Capital Peak pushing 10.
Please don't join if you told Clash you are under 16 so it censors chat. We have no rules about language or content just about participation.
We're based in Milwaukee but have great members from all around the world. We track everything and promote or kick based on participation and activity, but never without warning.

Difficulty: Hard
Power: Undying Fury Benjamin is a man fueled only by a desire to watch everything burn, And will stop at no expense to accomplish this goal.
Whenever you hit a survivor, Gain 1 token.
Whenever you are stunned by a pallet, gain 2 tokens.
Whenever you are blinded by a flashlight or flashbang, Gain 3 tokens.
Whenever a generator is repaired, Gain 4 tokens
For every minute you spend in the trial, Gain 5 tokens.
Spend 3 tokens to roar, Causing all survivors within your terror radius to scream and reveal their location for 5 seconds, And immediately after the roar, you can spend 5 tokens to make a lunge attack, If you hit a wall, pallet, or object, You will be stunned, If you hit a survivor, They will be damaged by 1 health state and affected by "mangled" for 60 seconds.
Perks:
Hatred
You feel a deep anger towards your victim
Survivors are affected by "Oblivious" for 5/10/20 seconds after hitting you with a pallet.
"You can almost feel his anger."
Madness
Your grasp of reality is thin
You receive loud noise notifactions 5 seconds late, receive 100% extra bloodpoints for actions in the brutality category
"He lives in his own world, Like a sociopathic peter pan."
Schadenfreude
You enjoy seeing your victims suffer
Survivors that are in the 2nd hook state are affected by "Exposed" for the rest of the game
"To see us bleed, It makes him smile."
Offering:
"Family photo"
"It's a picture of a family of 3 gathering together, The paper is moist with fresh blood."
Add-ons:
Common
Jock's fingerbone:
Survivors scream for 1 extra second after a roar
"The fingerbone of some foolish teenager who incurred Benjamin's wrath, It is scratched and bent unnaturally."
Uncommon
Police officer's badge:
Receive 1 extra token for being stunned by a pallet
"A memento of the life taken from an officer who attempted to stop Benjamin's rampage."
Rare
Bully's eye
Receive 2 extra tokens for being blinded by a survivor
"An eye for an eye... though this victim received nothing but pain in return."
Ultra-rare
Father's skull
Receive 2 less tokens for each repaired gen, receive 5 more tokens for each minute spent in the trial
"It is riddled with cracks and blood, And stained with dirt."
Iridescent
Iridescent cradle
You cannot lunge after a roar, but it's range is now twice your terror radius
"A place to protect young ones from the horrors of the world, It is damaged beyond repair."
The backstory:
Benjamin was born differently.
His parents were never sure what it was exactly, But simply put, he would never grow up.
Even then, Cut to when he was 18 years old, He still had the simple mind of an 8 year old.
His parents were arguing endlessly, Over whether or not they should take care of him in their house, Or simply take him to some disabled person's home, where he could be someone else's problem.
His mother wanted to keep him, insisting that they would not understand her son.
His father was not so loving, And did not care about the well being of his offspring, Simply wanting a reason to no longer have to deal with him.
One day, Benjamin decided he had to make his father stop hurting his mother, The way he saw her with his bottle of funny juice, Hitting his mother and calling her a... horse? a horse? Maybe that was what he said, benjamin didn't understand.
So, During one of the rare instances that his father was awake, Benjamin found a really big rock in the back yard and started calling for daddy, And once his dad opened the door and came into the back yard, Benjamin was already upon him.
His dad could hardly even react, before Benjamin knocked his father to the floor, Raised the rock above his head, And started to bash his father's skull in, The old miserable drunkard could do little to fight back, barely even scream due to the way his brain bits were being obliterated.
When his mommy found out, she cried, And told Benjamin that they were going to have pizza, And went to take a nap.
When she went to her room, She took one too many of the skittles she needed to sleep, And never woke up, So benjamin ordered the pizza for her, And ended up eating 2 whole pizzas on his own.
Once that was done, Benjamin curled up with his mother's cold body and fell asleep.
When he woke up, He saw mean people with blue suits trying to take him away, And Benjamin remembered his mother's advice on never talking to strangers, and fought back rabidly.
Many lives were lost that day, And when the town was empty, benjamin saw in the forest, A gentle mist was creeping into the place.
It was a friendly, Nice mist!
It was telling him about a fun place where nobody could hurt him or make fun of him again!
Benjamin ignored any innate sense of fear, and pushed on into the woods, Fading into the fog, And he was never seen again.

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We're Fatality Gaming, a new gaming community with a public Zomboid server (amongst others)! Come join us and help create the beginnings of a new roleplay experience. The server is modded with the '10 Years Later' mod, Hydrocraft and a number of QoL mods. As we get larger we will be holding server events and engaging RP scenarios for everyone to join in on. We'd love to have you survive the nights with us!
https://discord.gg/RBkvuqaBmr