I've had 4 Minis, two with practically silent fans (used as video players attached to TVs), one I've learned to live with (used as desktop main computer) and one that was so bad I returned it after 1 day (had planned to use it as combo video player for TV plus security cam viewer, weather server, etc.).
Currently, I'm using a Beelink Mini S - N95, 16GB as a Kodi video player (1080p h264, h265) with a weather display or 720/1080p rtsp camera viewer with 4 simultaneous feeds displayed on a secondary monitor. The fan is always practically silent which is what I want in a media player, but the video playback struggles a little if I am watching a video in Kodi and also viewing the 4 rtsp camera feeds...the Kodi video occasionally stutters. If I switch to watching Kodi and just one camera feed, the video playback is fine.
I was looking to get something a little more powerful and so I tried out the Bosgame G35 - i5-1135G7 16GB Ram. At $239 US, that seemed like a decent price...but the fan is horrendously bad. Idle Temp was around 40 C with the fan being practically silent and max temp I saw was around 70 C with a very loud fan. And the worst part was that the fan kicked in at what seemed to be full speed anytime the CPU temp went up just a few degrees. This meant it was constantly turning on and off. The Advanced Tab was missing in the bios and I tried various ways to get it to show, none of which worked, so there seemed to be no possibility to make any adjustments. I returned it the next day.
Now I decided to look into the Beelink Ser 5 5500U, 16GB (current low price on Amazon I've seen for that is $249 US) but based on my experience with my Beelink Ser 5 5600H, I'm worried it's going to have the exact same fan noise.
Does anyone have any real world experience with devices comparable to the 5500U with 16GB, either AMD or Intel, at around a $250 US price and have any recommendations for any with pretty quiet fans, comparable to the Beelink Mini S - N95?
Here's what I've seen out of my 4 devices:
`Beelink Mini S - N95 16GB Ram Idle: 65 C, 2250 RPM Fan is practically silent 100% CPU: 92 C, 2800 RPM Fan is practically silent
GMKTek Nucbox 5 - N5105 8GB Ram Idle: 43 C, Does not have fan sensor Fan is practically silent 100% CPU: 80 C Fan is low
Beelink Ser 5 - 5600H 64GB Ram Temps get into the 70s very easily and the fan speeds up and gets medium loud Idle: 58 C, Does not have fan sensor Fan is practically silent 100% CPU: 84 C Fan is medium loud 100% CPU: 90 C Fan is pretty loud
Bosgame G35 - i5-1135G7 16GB Ram Fan turns on loud and full speed all the time, practically anytime the temp goes up just a few degrees. Advanced tab in bios is not available, so there is no possibility to adjust Idle: 40 C, Does not have fan sensor Fan is practically silent 100% CPU: 70 C Fan is very loud`

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Intro

To preface this review, I just need to say that this is going to be a very, long read. Going through it myself just for the fun of it takes around 30 minutes — it's almost 7k words of text, including lyrical references. So for the best experience, listen to the album beforehand to understand what the hell I was thinking when I wrote this review, play the album while reading, and set a good amount of time aside.
And yes, this is 9 months late 😭 I'm not sorry — when I find an album review online it's always around a paragraph per song or even shorter. It makes sense from a journalistic perspective, but I want to do this album justice, hence taking 7 months to write out all my thoughts.
This shit is comprehensive and definitely overanalyzed, especially in Talk that Talk and Trouble. Each song review will compose of my commentary going over the song, noting the details I noticed through months of listening, then a conclusion. Also, mild swearing warning, I like implementing a touch of "French" when I'm very emotional about something. Anyway, onto the review!
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Between 1&2 💞

Album Review
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TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT
TELL ME WHAT YOU NEED
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Talk that Talk 🎙

Lead producer: collapsedone
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One of the most perfect TWICE songs.
I think this is one of TWICE’s best-sounding title tracks. Warm modulated synths, a thrumming bass line, distant bells, shimmering synths — the purpose of this song is to be fun and my god is it excellent at it, like… Sana and Chaeyoung are saying knock-knock-knock and beep-beep-beep as if they’re some kind of car. So much fun.
Further along in the verse, Dahyun’s voice sounds so full and smooth with that layered harmony. Tzuyu coming with the Yes or Yes, Push & Pull, and 1 to 10 references — these are 5 years of song references. And Jeongyeon closes the pre-chorus accompanied by a rising synth to drop into chorus one. Jeongyeon slays pre-choruses.
The drums accelerate, the synths start blasting, and Jihyo opens to that party of a chorus with her godly vocals,
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Tell me what you want
Tell me what you need
A to Z da malhaebwa
But shijageun ireoke have
Talk that talk ttak han madi
Talk that talk L-O-V-E
deullyeojweo ooh
Now now now now now yeah~

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During Sana's Talk that Talk~ lines there’s this gentle ascending synth bell that rings with the descending melody and it sounds absolutely gorgeous. And the choreography during that part of the chorus is so so so so fun: the talking hands bit, spelling L-O-V-E, concluding with the deullyeojweo ooh! Oh my Jihyo the deullyeojweo ooh…
Have I mentioned this song is fun?
Speeding through verse 2; Chaeyoung’s part with the cat ears popping in the music video is adorable; Momo her stretching her arms out looks so damn cool; and Dahyun with her replay part sounds so lovely — although I think it sonically sounds a touch random, it makes sense thematically.
And now for this pre-chorus. Mina and Jihyo leading into it sound great BUT JEONGYEON… Now, she is my ult bias, and this pre-chorus sounds almost identical to the first one, but the way she holds that final note, enunciating and holding that now~ for one more beat before the chorus drops sounds so perfect — the song teeters on a cliff edge. Jeongyeon slays pre-choruses.
Dropping into the second chorus and man, Jihyo powered through that first chorus, but the way Nayeon delivers it just hits different. She has this indescribable “pop” voice (I promise this wasn't on purpose) that stands out and shouts this is THE chorus. I think this is especially apparent in how both lead their choruses where Jihyo starts at 120% power while Nayeon waits until [Tell me] WHAT YOU WANT to full-send it. She also highlights “malhaebwa” in a similar way later in the chorus.
Another deullyeojweo ooh! Nayeon travels to Narnia, and Mina the engineer strikes again in this heavenly, underwater-esque bridge,
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The simple words “I love you”
That’s all I wanna hear
Without hesitation, I’ll go up to you
I’ll make it simple
And just tell you I love you

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The word “love” is said for the first time in the song. There’s a funky keyboard instrument behind Chaeyoung’s part. Jihyo, Chaeyoung, and Nayeon take the initiative in their lyrics, professing their love before closing the bridge.
And now for the pièce-de-résistance: this final double chorus is exceptional — 40 seconds of crack-laced euphoria; Jihyo switches up the chorus and the choreo, Dahyun chimes in with her fluttery “Talk that Talk”, Momo comes out of nowhere with “oh yeah it sounds so good!” — you’re damn right it does, and this is where the song SOARS.
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han beon deo~ haejweo
geurae banggeum geu mal~

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Nayeon outright shouts “Tell me what you need” and then Jeongyeon sings the above lines in such an ethereal, warm way where the first line ascends while the second line descends, causing a lull in the song before the finale with Nayeon, finishing off the song with the final deullyeojweo ooh! What a party. What a song.
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THE GOOD

• The synths of all time
• The chimes during Talk-that-talk~
• Jeongyeon’s pre-chorus going into Nayeon’s chorus
• The entirety of that magical, final chorus and outro

Needs Work

• The opening hook (Tell me what you want) and accompanying choreography could be “catchier”

Core Memory

• Singing (and dancing) my heart out when this song played at a K-pop club

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Lyrics and theme-wise, if this were to have been TWICE’s last comeback, they’ve once again built upon the theme they've been doing since debut: a Bildungsroman, a coming-of-age story.
This song’s chorus is honest yet simple; it asks the listener, in this case, the other half of the relationship, to be more upfront and open with their love (never be scared of love), that before the relationship can continue and flourish there has to be a foundation and commitment of love between each other.
TWICE debuted with a song about making your crush go ooh ahh. Years later, they started pondering “What is love?” and imagining their crush responding with “yes” when asking them out — and now concluding with the phrase “Talk that talk, [talk that] L-O-V-E”, being upfront with the relationship, wishing their partner to also be happy, to commit to them, to feel the love that they want to impart on them. From gawking like ooh-ahh to talking out your shared love like adults — to having a true relationship between (one and) two.
And can I just say before finishing off Talk that Talk's review that this is such a fun and repeatable song with many little intricacies hidden in the nonet’s vocals and the production. This is the third draft I’m writing about Talk that Talk and its original word count pretty much quadrupled.
Harkening back to TWICE’s roots by combining mature thinking with youthful character, an incredible ending to look forward to, and just simply being a club-banger that’s easy to listen to, TTT is an easy 10/10.
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WATCH ME GO WATCH ME GO
RULE THE WORLD
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Queen of Hearts 👑

Lead producer: LDN Noise of SM
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If there was one B-side to promote in a live clip, this was a solid choice.
Helmed by LDN Noise going headlong into the Western boy-group rock-band aesthetic, Queen of Hearts is a boom-boom-clap song through and through. The drums are very prominent throughout the song, only giving room to riffs of electric guitar in the chorus to drive and continue the momentum of the music.
And speaking of the chorus, vocal line each got a chorus to flex and they did not fuck around,
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You ain’t ready for it
Watch me go~ watch me go~
Rule the world
Know you never doubted baby
I’mma go run the whole universe~

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Cymbals crashing, drums booming, and 3MIX belting all just so sound so good.
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Baby I was born to rule~~
Yeah I’m the queen, I’m the queen
And it’s all because of you~~
That I’m the Queen of Hearts

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These long, held-out notes performed by Jihyo and Nayeon are simply exquisite. Along with the shredding guitar, the drum set coming in full, and the interludes by Dahyun, Momo, and Chaeyoung, this is the part of the song that always, always, gives me goosebumps — it sounds so visceral, so energetic, so fun, so triumphant. Boom-boom-clap songs can be hit or miss with people, but there's no denying the payoff from the first part of the chorus to the second part is worth the wait.
The theme of the song so far has been kind of spread around the song. The chorus alludes to it with the line "And it’s all because of you." But Mina shows more sides of it in the second verse, especially with the phrase,
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And now that I’m surrounded by all my girls
We be shining bright like diamonds and pearls

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It sounds really lovely — in a very cheesy and affectionate kind of way, as it rightfully should — the song is about the girls and their fans. But the bridge is where the song indeed shows its colours
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Screaming out my name
See it in the stage lights
Feel so lucky just to have ya
Cause I know deep down I was meant for something bigger! Greater!
I know you’re seeing what I see
Yeah I’ll be everything you need
I know I’m gonna walk the walk
And talk the talk to be~ [the Queen of Hearts]

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This is a song CONCEIVED TO BE PERFORMED FOR THE FANS. It’s meant to be loud. It’s meant to be unapologetic. It’s meant to be sappy. And it’s all the more wonderful for it.
This is the TWICEiest shit ever.
Like Talk that Talk, Queen of Hearts also has a killer closer. The production already started to grow from the bridge, but now the guitarist finally went Super Saiyan and instead of supporting the drums, they both take the centrepiece in tandem.
Then finally, the closing moments of the song even manage to squeeze in some more sappiness.
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So thank you for the memories
You’re all the ones who made me~
So thank you for the memories
That I’m the Queen of Hearts

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I still can’t believe that this banger is a FAN SONG out of all things. Truly, the TWICEiest shit ever.
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THE GOOD

• Adorable fucking lyrics
• Unrelenting, roaring chorus
• English and vocal flex
• Addicting guitar riffs

Needs Work

• Chaeyoung rapping in English in their Korean songs somehow slaps harder than her English rapping in their English songs, nonetheless, in QoH, it fits with the sound of the song

Life Highlight

• Walking home from a K-pop festival with this song playing, felt like a Queen of Hearts

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I love these types of rock songs with how grunge and head-bang-able they are, there is just a certain nostalgic and cheesy quality to them that feels so cozy. I don’t love putting them on repeat, because in this case, I do believe there is such a thing as too much of a good thing. Perhaps more shredding, maybe a guitar solo to rock out to, or an accompaniment(!) of ad-libs from 3MIX to support Jihyo’s final chorus? A ONCE can dream of a truly bombastic rock song from TWICE. But then again that distracts from the core of what this song is: a fan song disguised as a rock song.
Queen of Hearts has so much sweetness in its lyrics and message that it's overflowing. The drums, guitar, and vocals can be as loud and intricate as they can, but the theme of this song is what makes it special from TWICE’s other rock songs — it’s a 9/10 for me.
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I WANNA WANNA WANNA
TAKE YOU TO THE BASICS
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Basics 🌈

Sole lyricist credit: Chaeyoung
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Quite possibly the jammiest (pun intended) song of the album.
A song written by the Strawberry Princess herself — an event similar in frequency to other artists' releases with her last song being 2020’s silky Handle It — Basics first starts with an understated and dreamy delivery. After the first stanza, however, a bouncy Miami bass line emerges, revealing the true nature of the song: this is a classic summer bop! Especially in the first rap,
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dareun aedeulgwaneun dalla
Ain’t beggin’ for love
nappeun geon anijana ige naraseo
eodiro twilji molla
Like rainbow bubble gum
geureoni nal kkwak butjabadweo

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Syllables are pronounced in a relaxed nature, bars often starting with an "ah" sound, flirty lines in English — this rap features a production full of pop with R&B flourishes and, in my opinion, this is Chaeyoung’s bag. Also, the line "rainbow bubblegum" is so adorable and so Chaeyoung.
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I wanna wanna wanna take it to the basics
da weonhae weonhae weonhae? seodureuji ma Baby
ppeonhae ppeonhae malhae mweohae da al tende
Ah yeah ah yeah ah yeah ah yeah

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That chorus is pure pop with a Miami bass backing; you better be bopping your head to the melody, if not booty poppin' to the bassline. Chaeyoung loves rhyming in the first half of the chorus to enhance its catchiness and it's damn incredible: the “wanna”, “weonhae”, and “ppeonhae” all create these imperfect rhymes that continue momentum without feeling repetitive.
After the very Boy With Luv-sounding “ah yeah ah yeah, ah yeah ah yeah” comes an 8-bar split half and half between Chaeyoung and Momo. Coming from the chorus, the production completely cuts out for the first 2 bars. This adds tension; the song yearns to have that bass beat thumping again and all we have in the audio space in those 2 bars is Chaeyoung spittin' and she delivered.
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taneun deut tteugeoun samak wie
yeppeuge pieonan jangmi gata
joshimseure naege dagaol ttae
nado moreuge jjilleobeoril tende

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Translating to:
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Above the hot, burning desert
It’s like a rose that bloomed beautifully
When you come to me slowly
I will prick you unconsciously

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The rap feels slick, effortless, and confident. Her diction remains sharp when enunciating each syllable but she doesn’t let the flow of her rap waver or build as her 4 bars go by, it’s just smooth consistency throughout. Even the lyrics possess an aura of laid-back collectedness that is just so her. The things Chaeyoung can do when given her pen.
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THE GOOD

• That sweet summer vibe of a chorus
• The “spaceship” post-chorus is killer
• Chaeyoung devoured this song
• Sure-footed, confident lyrics

Needs Work

• Perhaps an alteration of that ah yeah ah yeah line
• The way Jihyo did her pre-chorus line is good, but Mina’s is great

Core Memory

• After donating my hair, walking down the rainbow-coloured areas of downtown Toronto with this song playing was very… fitting

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This song is summer bliss distilled into 2:56. It’s dreamy, the raps are satisfying, and the ending is charming. I will say that although the second half of the song adds the stunning “spaceship” post-choruses and a floaty bridge with an incredible drumbeat drop into the final chorus, the raps of the song make it feel a bit front-loaded. And in an album stacked with awesome finishers, it feels more apparent.
With that said, it’s an 8/10 bop for me. This song is so easy to put on and it feels exactly what Chaeyoung would make if given the reins to produce a pop song all on her own. The lyrics are nonchalant but full of conviction, the wordplay is intricate, and the production playful but not too bombastic — it's just a nice vibe. Songs like Basics are the standard for good, simple, repeatable pop music and I’m happy that Chaeyoung got to test her pen in this genre.
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BABY WE’RE IN
TROUBLE TROUBLE
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Trouble 💃

Sole lyricist credit: Jihyo
Background vocals: Jihyo
Lead composer credit: Jihyo
Vocal director credit: Jihyo (an assumption given her contributions in First Time)
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One of the most enjoyable songs I’ve heard in a while.
There is an underlying tension within the first 4 bars of the song, Jihyo and Nayeon confidently open it to a nondescript array of synths and then the stanza ends, Momo announces “Let’s go”, the beat drops and it hits you: this is a club song.
Dahyun's relaxed delivery contrasted with Jeongyeon's staccato flow, the wobbly synth beat with sprinkle of house piano, Sana dramatically slowing down the song only for Tzuyu to build it back up until the chorus drops,
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• Nayeon opens it using a breathy tone, with vocal chops serving as harmonies
• The blooming of the house piano takes centre stage and the song ascends into euphoria
• A random drum roll capped off by a cymbal crash
• Jeongyeon’s pronunciation of the word “trouble” almost being a growl
• Chaeyoung slyly admitting “I like this trouble”
• The entirety of Tzuyu’s tro~oh~oh~ouble yeah~
• Sana using her deep voice for the na~na~na~na
• Jihyo leading the vocals during the synchronized T W I C E chant

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This chorus is perfect. Toronto’s residential market needs this song injected into its veins because god damn this song has SO much house in it. And then, ANOTHER KILLING PART: this rap fucking slaps.
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gamchweo bwatja geugeon Fake
ppajin hamjeongeun Sweet cake

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During the first 2 bars, Chaeyoung is keeping it calm because that trip of a chorus just ended and the song needs a breather, but I don't think anyone expected her to SNAP this hard afterwards:
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You cannot resist this
Cannot miss this, such a bliss
Ima put it down down
Oh yeah, better kiss kiss

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Below is the structure of her this portion of the rap, I’m not that well versed in this technical aspect of music theory but I digress, this is all in the span of around 5 seconds where it’s:
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Triplet-triplet
Quadruplet-triplet
Quadruplet-doublet
Doublet-quadruplet

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Now, 25/5 = 5 syllables per second isn’t groundbreaking, but goddamn it these 2 bars sound so nice — if there is one part in this album that I always repeat, it’s this. The addition of that first quadruplet for “cannot miss this” in the midst of the triplets sticks out and accelerates the flow of the rap while the following doublets and quadruplets destabilize and slow the rap down as the verse closes. And can I just point out:
THE MAIN VOCALIST WROTE, DIRECTED, AND COMPOSED THIS SONG ‼
Chaeyoung of course delivered the fuck out of her verse but THIS is what you get when you have a member not only write the words they’re saying but also the melody and flow with which they sing it, when that member knows the others so well that when they write a song they know how to make the group exceed. This is what you get when the artists you stan love doing artist shit.
And. AND. That's not all — with how much I mentioned I love a good outro to close a song, this outro slaps as well:
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Woo wee woo wee woo
I like this trouble be-be
Woo wee woo wee woo
I like this trouble bay-be
Woo wee woo wee woo
I like this trouble bay-beh
Woo wee woo wee woo
I like this trou-ble

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Like, come on, Nayeon’s imitating a police siren for crying out loud. And this is all after her ad-libs in the final post-chorus; after the pianist going full tilt and playing that piano as if it was their last chance to ever play; after that final T W I C E chant by all the members come these blissful 20 seconds at the very end. What a song.
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THE GOOD

• The theme of relishing in an uncontrolled love
• Sana and Mina’s melody in the pre-chorus
• Chorus
• Rap
• Outro
• Wees and woos

Needs Work

• Mina’s line of “falling down, falling down, falling down low” in verse 2 feels a bit too abrupt of a change

Core Memory

• While writing Trouble's review I had this song on repeat for my whole subway commute and I must've been so distracting, just head-bopping and being so invested in enjoying a song

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Need I say more, easy 9/10. The only reason I place Talk that Talk above Trouble is because of what that song represents but besides that, this is one of the best “international” sounds they’ve put out. Actually, I haven’t listened to Eyes wide open in a while but this song is up there with one of the most sonically pleasing pieces of work they’ve done.
Clubbing TWICE has always been a thing since TT was birthed in 2016, and has been a staple of their discography since 2019’s Fancy You and Feel Special mini albums, but Trouble unapologetically dives into and fits the house genre so well you’d think that this is TWICE’s bread and butter sound.
Trouble is Jihyo’s magnum opus. What a song.
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BRAVE BRAVE BRAVE
FOR YOU
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Brave 💖

Main producer: Slow Rabbit of HYBE
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I first thought this was just a good song, then I read the lyrics.
Gentle guitar plucks, shimmering synths, a distant keyboard in the right ear, in the left a glockenspiel, the melodic oohs from the members — this song is PRETTY.
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The night that was unusually dark
Above this terrifying world, felt so lonely
The world has grown in the time of wandering
So hard to breathe

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Mina and Chaeyoung open the song with how they feel lonely and that it's hard to breathe and now suddenly the song feels bittersweet — I was not expecting the song to be this emotional. Brave describes a situation where the singer is in a darker place in life and it isn't until another person gives them hope by calling them 'brave' that they find the drive to keep going.
Once the chorus hits, the melodies pick up, more guitars get added — there’s even an electric guitar hidden in the mix somewhere, and the song drops the emotional front to reveal a mid-tempo pop song to dance to while crying in the club. The song as a whole still carries this melancholy feeling, but now with the added support of this chorus acting as a light amongst the gloom.
Continuing on in the second verse there's this gorgeous, well-placed break in the song that just lets it settle after that chorus. Only a seasoned producer would risk this much empty space in a song and Slow Rabbit went to fill those shoes.
Back to the chorus, I'll take this moment to once again commend Slow Rabbit with the mixing of the song, because 4MIX undoubtedly sounds good in the chorus, and the interludes from Dahyun, Chaeyoung, and Mina also sound really good, but the clear highlight of the choruses are these lines:
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Oh na na na neon nal naige hae [Momo, then Tzuyu, then Momo]
On and on and on
Brave brave brave for ya [Dahyun, then Chaeyoung, then Mina]
Oh na na na neon nal sum shwige hae [Sana, then Momo, then Sana]
On and on and on oh trust me babe

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Momo, Sana, and Tzuyu form this beautiful, surprisingly catchy, second half of the chorus accompanied by a guitar drop. It should not turn out this well with how conflicting the "na"s are with the guitar melody but it creates this gentle bopping ebb and flow that feels so lush and mellow.
Diving into the bridge reveals that the listener of the song is revealed not only capable of supporting the singer through direct words but also through their thoughts and dreams. As can be discerned, this can be a song interpreted to be about ONCEs, about how they push TWICE to be their best selves despite the breathless hardships they face. It's a very sweet and touching song.
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THE GOOD

• Special lyrics
• Pleasant sound to vibe out to
• That gentle break after the first chorus
• Jihyo’s high note at the end
• A Nayeon Jeongyeon joint high note ⁉️
• Just pretty vocals throughout

Needs Work

• Potentially hard to comprehend without translating the Korean lyrics

Core Memory

• Form of Therapy’s life motto revolves around the word “brave”. I don’t know where I got that from, but I remembered it right before watching his album reaction

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I’m actually spoiled with the TWICE members’ easy-to-understand songwriting that when a song like this pops up where it's not written by a member and the thematic bits are mostly in Korean, I tend to put it aside in favour of the other songs on the album. And, especially for a song focusing on a theme like this where the English phrases don’t do the Korean lyrics enough justice, it does place a bit of a barrier on the listening experience, dropping it down to a 7/10 from an 8/10.
With that anecdote out of the way, this song is just such a vibe, man. I know that sounds super hippy to say but Brave is so mellow and smooth that I can’t help but sway a little when that chorus hits. And then I remember what the lyrics say and I tear up a bit on the inside. This song is so pure, raw, and full of heart — we need more songs like these where they just reminisce about life while putting up an upbeat front. Don't mind me just crying while dancing the night away.
With that said, this isn't the first time this theme has been sung by TWICE either, they've long trodden this path of supportive, confiding, up-lifting songs with Young & Wild, Rainbow, Queen, Go Hard, Depend on You, even this album's Queen of Hearts, and, of course, Feel Special. Brave just adds another on top of an already stacked lineup, unique with its mellow somberness.
Also now feels like a good time to get into my rating system:

• 7/10s are songs are ones that are simply good throughout or great songs with apparent flaws
• 8/10s are great songs with standout characteristics
• 9/10s are borderline perfect songs where I sometimes can't comprehend how great they are
• And 10/10s are the best of an artist's discography, songs that encapsulate their ethos perfectly or expand upon them in a meaningful way

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I SEE THE LIES
ON THE TIP OF YOUR TONGUE
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Gone 💨

Sole lyricist credit: Dahyun
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Who the fuck pissed off Dubu this time??
It’s getting quite rare to see TWICE pull off brand new sounds because, with now 190 original songs under their belt, they’ve done so many genres and sub-genres varying from hyper pop, to bossa nova, to whatever 2020’s Go Hard is. So it’s surprising to see they’ve still got tricks up their sleeves and Gone is one of them.
The song starts with strings swinging back and forth and vocal chops dancing from ear to ear, teasing what’s yet to come. Jihyo enters the song with a whisper and the song sets its pace. A stagnant drum pad moves the song along and typical song progression would have Mina continue the build but — it doesn’t. The song simmers, adding a hint of high hat to the pot. And then, Sana and Tzuyu come on and surely the buildup must boil over right?
Silence, until…
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I see the LIES on the top of your tongue

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The strings emerge again on full blast, the simmer rolls to a boil, and the anger of the song is revealed,
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All the fate I had towards you
Fades like a fog, gone, gone
Your flipping mind of doing this and that
I’m tired of it, it’s meaningless
In the beginning, it was hard to believe
With that, hatred increases

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The singer is so scorned and burned from this relationship that they reminisce about all the effort they’ve put in since the beginning, but their “partner” is so unconcerned that they’ve just about had enough of the relationship altogether.
This has been Dahyun’s thing since 2020’s Bring It Back, 2021’s Cruel, 2022’s That’s all I’m saying, and even 2023's Don't Blame It On Me — emotionally charged breakup songs that make you feel as if she’s gone through a dozen bad relationships. Dispatch, do your job better, or don't.
Another highlight of the song is the post-chorus going into the bridge. This segment reiterates the structure from the first post-chorus — a barrage of drums supported by the rhythmic strumming of a bass guitar along with a consistent synth filling out the soundscape. But this time, it’s Dahyun and Chaeyoung on the rap:
​

I can’t stand it anymore [Dahyun]
My patience, invisible
I can’t find it, it’s all gone
Even if I try to turn back, it’s too late [Chaeyoung]
There’s no use anymore
It has left, it’s long gone
You, with flipping mind, you are out [Momo]
I know that you know what I’m talking about [Dahyun]
Nothing you could say that could turn this around
I’m gone

​
Continuing the disrespected theme of the song, Dahyun notes that she’s finally had enough with Chaeyoung adding that there’s no point salvaging what was once there for all of it is long gone. Momo and Dahyun round it off by telling the listener that there’s no point trying to reason with them or playing naive, they fucked up and there’s no coming back.
Can I just say, it's a bit of a shame that Chaeyoung’s rapping popped off in this album while Dahyun only has this one verse that she shares with Chaeyoung, but it just sounds so good how Dahyun eases in after the chorus with her light rapping tone transitioning into her singing. She even holds the “gone” in a little crescendo for some added pizzazz.
And, there’s no way I’m not going to talk about Momo’s vocals in this bridge. Damned if she only got 1 line to use it in, her lower register is incredible. She sounds so smooth singing in this tone. All of TWICE do in particular and there is nary a weak vocal performance in this album.
To close the song off, a wash of synths gets to have their shine in the spotlight, showered with Nayeon’s belting, signifying the dramatic and drawn-out conclusion of this partnership.
​
THE GOOD

• They’ve still got their surprises
• Thundering chorus
• 2nd rap and bridge combo
• A bitter, crumbling relationship theme

Needs Work

• I’m not a huge fan of the mixing during the first post-chorus, where Momo's vocals were fighting with the production, which is disappointing because Momo is capable of an insane flow
• The post-chorus in general, specifically the first one, can be a bit tiring on repeat listens

Core Memory

• Actually, I think this song sounds like a mix between GOT7's Not By The Moon, BLACKPINK’s Love To Hate Me, and Dahyun’s Bring It Back. I don’t know where I got this thought came from, but it stuck

​
Going back to that point about the first post-chorus as a whole; songs that have the production continue unchanged into the post-chorus/2nd verse are very hit or miss for me — see TWICE's Don't Call Me Again for an overbearing example. The post-chorus going into the bridge contrasts Dahyun’s light tone nicely with the hard-hitting production, continuing the energy until it slowly fades into silence at the end of the bridge.
Back to the song as a whole, as much as TWICE has been experimenting with their sound for the past 4 years now, I’m happy they’re still finding new ways to explore what they’re capable of. And for that alone, even though I’m not a big fan of songs like these where they rely on sounding “big”, Dahyun’s lyricism and the thrill I receive every time I indulge myself in this song when I listen to it for the first time in a while elevates it to an 8/10. Keep on breaking hearts, Dubu.
​
​
​
INVINCIBLE
SUPERHEROES
​
​
​

When We Were Kids 🧸

Sole lyricist credit: Dahyun
​
Press play to reminisce, pull up lyrics to cry.
This song is so beautiful. I’m totally not writing this song review, crying on the bus reminiscing about my childhood, while just having turned 21. I don’t know if these are happy or sad tears but this song is so beautiful either way.
Warm synths, muted piano, a gentle high hat, the younger members starting off the song — this has to be up there for one of the softest TWICE songs ever. And as it should, it’s one of the TWICEiest songs ever. And then Nayeon comes in,
​

Invincible superheroes, we wanted to be adults
To the higher, clearer world

​
The chords start swelling, the high hat keeps pace, and the harmonies come in,
​

Remember when we were kids
When we were kids, we didn’t know
If we could go back
I will love it even more
Remember when we were kids

​
Jihyo takes up the second half of the chorus as it drops, trading the strings for an almost R&B synth production — if choir R&B takes off, this song started it. The song relishes in this cacophony of warm sounds until returning to its sparse and peaceful verses.
This time, the hints of piano are louder, little twinkling synths begin to shimmer, the drum buildup comes and Jeongyeon drives the song straight into the chorus. No time for the strings to build like in Nayeon’s — this song loves its chorus so much.
And I'll just take this time to appreciate the amount of Jeongyeon vocals in this album. Her voice is so clean, stable, and projected — but also more tender and soft compared to the more pronounced tones of Nayeon and Jihyo.
The bridge comes in, repeating the phrase:
​

I wish that I could meet
Could meet the younger me

​
Giving the song time to rest, before building back up to the last chorus — this time led by Jihyo, completing the 3MIX trifecta. And interestingly enough, Chaeyoung follows up in the second half of the chorus, rather than another member of the vocal line. She really did pop off in this album.
As the last chorus begins to close, the percussion at its strongest, the harmonies on blast, the background vocals cranked up to their Sunday best, is the song going to end? Of course not! This is an album full of banger endings as if the songs don’t want to end, and When We Were Kids being the album closer very much indulges in that feeling.
After a brief refrain, accented by Nayeon’s high note with a touch of vibrato, the song almost dives back into a fourth chorus. Nayeon and Jeongyeon harmonize — a rare and heavenly moment. And the song repeats the bridge, reiterating that they want to meet their younger selves, this time with the lush chorus production before closing with silence, a few piano notes, and Tzuyu singing the last line of the song:
​

Oh, we were kids

​
Reflection, acceptance, hope. What a song.
​
THE GOOD

• Heavenly vocals throughout
• Relatable, heartfelt lyrics
• Euphoric chorus
• Great closer to the album

Needs Work

• Refrain after the last chorus, "Back when we were kids," could’ve been executed better

Core Memory

• For an album titled Between 1&2, I don’t think anything hits harder than finishing the song reviews, with this song in particular, during your 21st birthday

​
I wrote the first part of this review in November 2022. Then university, life, and other things got in the way of my headspace for me to feel confident about wrapping all of this up. In a way, I felt like I just didn’t want this review to end because of the joy that writing gives me — I didn’t want the happiness to end. And then it hit me, after watching a YouTuber rank animated movies and them placing Spirited Away at the top and explaining 'why' reminded me of just how important growing up is, and by extension this song.
This theme is important for both the rookie TWICE members in 2015 and the teenagers who would follow their journey and grow up with them, facing life’s obstacles along the way. Hardships that used to only involve family, crushes, and social media, evolve into work, commitments and all the struggles that adult life brings. Being a kid and enjoying the simple things in life is one of the most sought-after moments we want to relive because we took growing up for granted. The only thing we can do now is look back on ourselves with fondness and rose-tinted lenses.
TWICE’s original marketing was to resonate with people through their senses and their hearts. That was during their debut, and I think it still holds up today. In my opinion, touching people through their emotions is what TWICE does best and makes them one of K-pop’s all-time greats. It was never about having the best numbers — it was always about being the best idols. And to think that this journey of maturation and growth would occur from 2015 all the way to this song, being a fitting nod to TWICE’s 7th anniversary, I don’t think anyone at the company nor the group would ever imagine that they would get this far. It’s these nine women or none — 9/10.
This song honestly deserves a 10/10 with how much I noticed other people reminiscing their childhoods after I heard this song, it is such a widely-relatable message, but I am determined to limit myself to one 10/10 song per album and if I were to pick between TTT and WWWK, I'd give it to the one's that's more repeatable — Talk that Talk just has this electric energy about it.
​
​
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Epilogue

And finally here is the end. If you made it in one sitting then I commend you, because I could not write this mess in one sitting. As alluded to, I started writing this album review sometime in October, after a series of edits the first draft was finished in March, and now here's the final draft in June.
I love this album. It got me through some important parts of my life, both good and bad, and it's just a wonderful listen throughout. Reliving this album again before finally completing the review has been an exciting journey. Brave hit me harder this time, after being overshadowed by the other gems of this album, and WWWK finally got me to tear up and not just be emotionally satisfied.
I feel like there's something for everyone on this album. From the exhilarating thrills of TTT to the anthemic euphoria of QoH, the clubbing dichotomy of Trouble and Brave to the blissful glee of Basics, and the sweet reminiscence of WWWK to the thundering anger that is Gone. Like Eyes wide open, I liken Between 1&2 to a pop music taste platter — there's such an eclectic mix of pop, music in this album that there's bound to be a song that someone will love, like, and dislike.
Is this album perfect? I don't think so, but it's close — it was certainly my 2022 AOTY. Was this review biased? Absolutely. I've been a fan since 2019 and with the themes in this album, I also feel like it was biased towards me as a ONCE. And how would I rank the album in TWICE's catalogue? It's honestly at the top, at least with EPs — I also felt that way towards Feel Special but then this album was birthed so I'm excited for TWICE's future.
Ready To Be was also a stunning album and Eyes wide open frankly also deserved the spotlight that Formula of Love received so I might hit those next but no promises; this album took long enough to bake.
As for the performances, I've only seen Twitter clips (no fancams to not spoil myself) and I am SO EXCITED to finally see them in July. QoH was as glorious as expected, Brave was a delightful surprise, and WWWK, while not being the concert closer everyone expected it to be, paired up nicely with Crazy Stupid Love. And of course the bombastic addition of the dance break to TTT. But, this is not a concert review, and this is where this album review ends.
Feel free to comment with any thoughts regarding the album, other TWICE albums, and any suggestions for my writing in general. Congrats again on making it this far!
God, I love this album.

Imagne how sick it would be to be mid-game: your out getting metal on your argy and anky. Suddenly, you hear a really loud buzzing like a helecoper, and look to your right and see yout death (if it sees you).
Saddly the flying noise is way to quiet for it to be scary :(
This is actually one of the reasons I voted for it, oh well. Otherwise, I am really happy with it! Wildcard has really improved over the years. It makes me exited for Ark ascended

It's a 2008 535xi. Struts, strut mounts, and control arms as well as sway bar links are about 2 years old. I had the front up to check for ball joint looseness but when I let it back down the right front made a crunching noise as if I'd left something under the car. It was kinda loud, too. Just to be sure I bounced my butt on the fender and it crunched some more. After that, it's quiet.
Anyone got a clue what is making that racket?
Thanks!

Name: Motörhead. Localised name: Engine Face
Stats
Destructive Power: B. Speed: A. Durability: B. Range: C. Precision: B. Potential: D.
Appearance : Motörhead takes the form of a mechanical humanoid, with, obviously, a motor for a head that also acts as a grinder, with a bloodshot red eye. The stand’s body is orange with diamond-shaped patterns on it, as well as thin black portions wrapped in wires. The legs have sets of 2 wheels in the centres of them.
Ability: Motörhead’s ability is to turn into vehicles. The vehicles retain the same visual qualities as the base stand, however the base stand cannot be used while in this form. The vehicles top speed will match the average of the top 10 fastest vehicles of that type. Let’s say, for example, he makes a car. That car’s top speed would be the average of the ten fastest car’s top speeds. Along with this, it also fills the user with knowledge of how to drive that car as best as possible. The stand has a few limits. The vehicles have to be real, and no submarines or spacecraft. Apart from that, anything’s fair game. The stand’s fuel is his concentration.
User: Reilly L is a highly intelligent 30 year old hitman working in Hawaii, although his blood is Australian. He has severe anger issues and doesn’t like wasting time or loud noises, particularly babies. He has a lack of empathy and only cares about getting the job done, regardless of the money because it stops him from getting bored. When he’s in his civilian ruse, however, he’s a fun-loving, relaxed video game streamer. Fun Fact: his favourite food is meatlovers pizza!

Used remote start as I approached my Scat Pack today. Loud rattle noise as the car was firing up but disappeared instantly. I turned the engine off and on again moment later but nothing.
I told myself maybe I imagined the rattle. Maybe it was coincidence and the noise came from somewhere else. But it sounded coming from the right side of the hood.
Quick google and YouTube search makes me suspect water pump 💔
Should I continue worrying if I dont hear the noise again? Is there anything i should keep my eyes on?
Thanks!

Just wondering if this is normal or if I got a defective unit.
On low frequencies, the jbl 6 will make a buzzing/vibrating sound, like something inside is rattling around.
You can hear it especially on this video to test for low frequencies:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dktuCxuLQ50&t=124s "Rumble Rest Deep Low Frequency Noise for 10 Hours"
Could anyone else try out that rumble rest noise and see if your bass makes annoying vibrating/rattling sounds? If no then I know I have an issue with my unit.
Thanks!

Long story short: Have had an unfaithful wife for a while. I am extremely forgiving and encourage growth through wrongdoing, and it has been at my expense and quite taken advantage of. I recorded a call with her and me (nothing invasive done, it was a phone cal to her from me), whereby she was taking about 3 hours longer to return from a concert. Many muted parts, but to her error not at all times. I can distintly tell the sounds of intimacy in the bacground as her phone wasn't muted for a moment and muffled. My voice is very overbearing asking what is going on, but in the brief moment its very audible. For my case as she is making it difficult and calling me a fool, can anyone advise me on how to clean up the audio so that I can better hear the background chatter (she was in a car, no more background noise), over my very loud trying to communicate voice in the foreground?
I have never posted before, but i feel like my life depends on legitimizing what I already almost certainly know is true but would like to have a full scope of prior to making an irrational decision.
I am technically competent, im a musician, but not a recording one ergo not a sound editer by skill. I am very technically literate and will have no difficulty navigating software if guided even simply. Running windows 10.
Thank you friends, someonebody here may be able to save my sanity and stop me being told i could be wrong and throwing my life away in trust.
Over-explanation provided to assure anybody heping is aware that there are no nefarious reasons for my asking for help.
Thanks !!

Long story short: Have had an unfaithful wife for a while. I am extremely forgiving and encourage growth through wrongdoing, and it has been at my expense and quite taken advantage of. I recorded a call with her and me (nothing invasive done, it was a phone cal to her from me), whereby she was taking about 3 hours longer to return from a concert. Many muted parts, but to her error not at all times. I can distintly tell the sounds of intimacy in the bacground as her phone wasn't muted for a moment and muffled. My voice is very overbearing asking what is going on, but in the brief moment its very audible. For my case as she is making it difficult and calling me a fool, can anyone advise me on how to clean up the audio so that I can better hear the background chatter (she was in a car, no more background noise), over my very loud trying to communicate voice in the foreground?
I have never posted before, but i feel like my life depends on legitimizing what I already almost certainly know is true but would like to have a full scope of prior to making an irrational decision.
I am technically competent, im a musician, but not a recording one ergo not a sound editer by skill. I am very technically literate and will have no difficulty navigating software if guided even simply. Running windows 10.
Thank you friends, someonebody here may be able to save my sanity and stop me being told i could be wrong and throwing my life away in trust.
Over-explanation provided to assure anybody heping is aware that there are no nefarious reasons for my asking for help.
Thanks !!

[June 4th, 2023]
My name is Tiffany. As of writing this, I'm 30 years old.
I don't know what happened.
The last thing I remember is going to bed, eager to start work the next morning. I'm a senior software engineer in Jacksonville, Florida, and I'm paid to cause problems on purpose. When I awoke, I was not in my bed. I could barely even open my eyes, for it felt like I had acid poured into them. When I came to, I was in a place which seemed vaguely familiar, but it was not my home.
It was some kind of hall-like place. There was a sort of ampitheater a couple feet ahead of me, but there was nobody around. The walls and floor were a greenish color, and although there was nobody around, the place was rather brightly lit, so I knew that someone would be coming soon.
It was then I noticed I couldn't move. I realized I wasn't standing up, I was sitting on some kind of chair. However, it did not feel like a normal chair. My vision was still blurry at this point, but as I looked down towards my lap, I noticed some kind of leather strap fastened around my lap - strapping me to the chair. I noticed another strap on my chest, which was pinning me to the chair. I panicked, and I tried to struggle. All this did was fill the quiet room with the sounds of crunching leather. I must've struggled for more than 15 minutes, twisting and straining as much as I could, but it was no good, as the straps simply would not budge.
I quickly became exhausted. As my vision came to, I looked towards my feet, which were fastened to the leg of the chair using the same kind of leather straps which were pinning my lap and torso to the chair. I noticed something I did not before. When I saw it, I felt my stomach drop.
It was a wire. A thick one, roughly as thick as a man's thumb. The wire was leading up to the chair, and that's when I realized I was strapped into an electric chair. I've always been fascinated with electric chairs, and as I scanned both the chair and my surroundings, I realized I was in Sing Sing Prison, New York, and this hall must be the infamous 'Dance Hall' that the original 'Old Sparky' chair was situated in. The 'Dance Hall' was the nickname of the execution room, though I read that Sing Sing abolished the electric chair decades ago.
Suddenly, the silence in the Dance Hall was broken by a strange voice. It sounded human, and it sounded like a man's voice, but soft and somewhat high-pitched. I'd even describe it as cute-sounding. It was a lilting, almost sing-songy voice. It was peaceful, and yet, I couldn't help but notice an underlying tone of malice behind it too.
The voice said: ''it's been such a long time since I've seen someone. I was so lonely!''
I jerked my head around wondering where the voice was even coming from. Surely this has to be some kind of prank, I figured. But I couldn't see anyone. The voice, it sounded as if it came from the chair itself, like it was right there with me, almost as if it were touching me. I screamed out loud that if this was a joke it wasn't funny.
Again, that strange voice broke the silence:
''I'm here! You're sitting in my lap and I looove giving you a big huuug''
Towards the end of that sentence, the tone of voice went from a sort of happy-go-lucky tone to a raspy, more malicious tone that sounded sadistic, almost mocking. It was the chair. The fucking chair spoke! I'm going mad, I tried pinching myself to see if I'm dreaming but nothing happened.
I felt the hairs on my neck stand up. Here I was, alone in an execution chamber without any rational explanation, nobody around, strapped into the most infamous electric chair in history, and above all, the chair's speaking to me and refuses to let me go.
After about an hour I finally get my wits about me and try and use my knowledge about the chair to talk to him. I even refer to him as 'Sparky', as 'Old Sparky' was his official name back when he was used. I asked him why he won't let me go. He told me he was feeling lonely since he was retired, and also that 'dad' would be here soon.
Soon enough, a middle-aged man appeared through the door of the Dance Hall and approached me. 'I'm Warden Jones,' he said. 'I'm very sorry for the inconvinence this situation has caused you. We can't explain it either, but this chair has not been at Sing Sing Prison for decades.'
'Ol' Sparky, let her go.' Warden Jones uttered, looking at the antique wooden chair with a stern expression and tone of voice.
'No.' uttered the lilting voice in response.
He looked at me with a strange, sad expression. He let out an exasperated sigh. I asked him to unstrap me from Sparky. He seemed reluctant for a couple of seconds, before then trying to undo the straps. My heart started to race when I realized not even the Warden could undo the straps - they just wouldn't budge, as if some kind of force was keeping them as tight as humanly possible. The Warden stood back, shaking his head. He told me the door to the electric chair's generator would not open either, and that door didn't have any locks in it.
After failing to unstrap me, Jones said he could bring me food or entertainment to try and help pass the time. Because of my exhaustion of trying to free myself from the chair, I was famished. I was also bought a phone which had internet access.
After eating dinner, Warden Jones told me his shift was finished and he had to go home. He kept saying he was 'so sorry' for what was happened and he seemed genuinely heartbroken, confused, and traumatized. As he left, the lights of the Dance Hall dimmed. The room was not dark, but it set a gloomy atmosphere.
It must've been around 9 PM at this point. I must've cried for a few hours, feeling hopeless at this situation, even with the comfort of my phone. The chair kept speaking to me, and occasionally, I tried even making casual conversation with him as if he were a person. I tried to ask him how his day was, I even asked him how he felt about executing Julius and Ethel Rosenberg for espionage. He said he enjoyed it, and then made a snide remark about how quickly Julius died, as if those who died quicker were somehow weak.
It was nearly 12 AM it happened. The arm and shoulder straps started to move by themselves. It happened very quickly and the straps became so tight that I could feel them bruising my skin. I yelled out to Sparky asking him what was happening. He told me:
''Shh it's almost midnight. You know I'm an electric chair and not a person right? Did you really think I could resist the urge?''
My heart sank and my heart raced. I felt my insides quivering uncontrollably. I screamed that I'm not a criminal and he can't kill me, not like this. I felt the chin and head strap tighten around my face and head. I began to feel sick knowing what was coming next.
I suddenly heard a sound I knew all too much about - the sound of that old diesel generator whirring up. It sounded similar to an airplane engine going from taxi power to takeoff power. As the noise hit its peak, I felt an unbearable tickling sensation all over my body. I was surprised how it wasn't really painful, just immensely uncomfortable. My thoracic muscles were spasming up and down similar to how they spasm during intense laughter, except the spasms were much faster. Because of these convulsions, I actually heard myself 'laughing'. I sounded like laughter that had been sped up three times its original speed. After maybe 30 seconds, I realized that it was because of these spasms I could not breathe and I began to feel a terrible burning sensation in my chest because I was being forcibly deprived of oxygen.
This continued for another 30 seconds. I began to think of my family, I wondered if I'd be reported as a missing person and they'd never know or even conceive that this is what happened to me. I thought about my boyfriend and all the experiences I'd never get to have.
I don't remember anything after that. I simply remember waking up feeling very dazed. I was alive! I felt so relieved, wondering if what I experienced was just a messed up dream. Then I smelt it - the distinct smell of ozone, and I felt the ache of my thoracic muscles - the muscles which had been abused so much through electric current induced spasms. I could breathe, though it felt like it was hard to. My hands and arms were free again.
[June 10th, 2023]
It's been days now.. I've been interviewed by more people than I can mention. Police, all kinds of prison staff, and journalists. They all are just as curious as I am about my fate. Honestly, I felt like some kind of celebrity being interviewed haha. Sparky himself enjoyed talking to the journalists... he has such a weird sense of humor sometimes.
There's no getting out of the chair. Everything has been done. Police even threatened to destroy Sparky, but all that happened was Sparky threatening to electrocute me to death if they tried anything. Sparky has gave that same threat to me too.. he says if I try and harm him, he'll electrocute me until I die. He also says I'm never getting out of the chair. He says I'm going to stay strapped into him until I die of old age. Every midnight since waking up in this chair, Sparky electrocutes me until I'm on the verge of death. For some weird reason, I no longer need to go to the bathroom.
[June 26th, 2023]
I just got news that Warden Jones resigned. Apparently due to an acute mental health crisis. Sparky doesn't seem to mind that his dad won't be here anymore.. honestly I'm starting to kind of enjoy midnights now haha. It tickles so much...when I hear that generator I kind of..happy? Like Sparky is working so hard to deliver all that current through my body, and only for me. Whenever I'm looking at stuff on my phone he likes to comment on it. He's quite the talker. He especially likes it when I look up stuff about him. He gets almost psychotically excited when I start reading about the people he electrocuted.
[July 9th, 2023]
I think Sparky was being serious when he said I'm never getting out of this chair. It's been over a month now but hey, I got this new wooden friend to talk to, lots of internet access and food.. what more could I want? Today I realized that Sparky gets jealous of other electric chairs. I told him I do like other electric chairs too. He got quite pissed off.. he electrocuted me twice today. It's starting to feel kind of nice..
[August 30th, 2023]
I think I'm starting to fall in love with him.. we talk all day, we watch movies together and even eat together! Honestly what a fate this is. Strapped into Old Sparky until I die of old age.. Strapped into the chair that I love the most.. it's almost midnight. Nothing I can do will get me free from him!!!
[January 15th, 2024]
I love him so much.. all day I caress that backrest of his, and stroke his smooth wooden arms.. he told me not to caress the headpiece electrode though. I tried that this morning and he told me not to touch it.. he's so cte when he's angry. I can hear that generator starting up again hehehe..
​
[June 5th 2024]
I've been sitting in here so kong I don't know what time is anymore.. my head feels so weird all I know, I love Sparky so much...
[October 1st, 2025]
Four Wardens have resiged from their jobs since I've been here. I asked the new Warden if he'd let me get married to Sprky. He reluctantly agreed. Sparky was so happy.
[October 19th, 2025]
We'r officilly marred!! Sprkymlo I love him mso muchh aaaaa
[September 2026]
Um cant remenrb wha tthe date is ooospie ehe but another ewarden resigned whoaha
[MRCH 2028]
​
is miss my fmaily...

We have 3 hdd-s for family pictures, videos and some projects/word docs. There was a 500GB HDD that was especially mine and sadly the reading head stopped working. There weren't any important files on it, it started making a buzzing, clicking noise and after some time it stopped working. I know what's wrong with it but I don't know why it happened and it is very expensive to repair it. We bought a new one (that's why we still have 3 left) 2 years ago but a 1TB HDD with higher rpm. Today this new one (which was especially mine again) started making that same clicking noise, so I started to save every data. It is really strange that again mine was the one but nevermind. I cannot understand why tho. These were stored in the same place, I did never drop them, and mine was the one again that sarted going bad. What could be the issue? Had anyone have the same kind of problem?

We have 3 hdd-s for family pictures, videos and some projects/word docs. There was a 500GB HDD that was especially mine and sadly the reading head stopped working. There weren't any important files on it, it started making a buzzing, clicking noise and after some time it stopped working. I know what's wrong with it but I don't know why it happened and it is very expensive to repair it. We bought a new one (that's why we still have 3 left) 2 years ago but a 1TB HDD with higher rpm. Today this new one (which was especially mine again) started making that same clicking noise, so I started to save every data. It is really strange that again mine was the one but nevermind. I cannot understand why tho. These were stored in the same place, I did never drop them, and mine was the one again that sarted going bad. What could be the issue? Had anyone have the same kind of problem?

TW This is my first post idk how to work this app very well but my dog died today and I need advice. So I had a dog a very energetic but grumpy dog who was 4 and today I let him out in his fenced area so he could pee. He had escaped once before but he would always just stay in the front and not run away even when we called him. But today he managed to escape through a hole? Or something like that again and I only noticed when I was checking for him in the house because he wasn't making noise and he was always loud even if he was small. He was outside and I called out his name and he wagged his tail and was going to walk towards me I guess but I'm not sure what happened and he just turned around without barking and ran as far as he could. I was right behind him because I was sprinting at full speed but I couldn't get him and as soon as he saw cars he ran into the street and he got hit. He died on impact as if he wanted to go. I wanted to say this because I'm not sure why he would do this since he had never done that before and never showed interest of running into cars before. Yes he may have liked barking at big trucks, loud ones but he never once showed the urge to want to run into the street. I don't know if he wanted to die and cut his life short because he didn't seem sad or wasn't crying at all when he got hit. He just let go. Is this normal for dogs to do? He was a Beige chorkie. I layed him to rest in my back yard where he would always lay down to sun bathe.

I made a lengthy post here: https://www.reddit.com/homeowners/comments/13hjxvw/golf_course_near_me_decided_its_an_outdoo
Every single Friday and Saturday night the golf course near me has outdoor concerts blasting loud music that you can hear over the TV with all doors and windows shut. I work during the week and Friday and Saturday nights are pretty much the only time I have to relax and have some peace and quiet. I feel like I can't even enjoy my own home now.
Since the last post I made several noise complaints with the city police. They showed up and an officer called me back telling me that the golf course showed them a noise permit and there was nothing he could do about it. After that I called the department of health for the city and talked with the person that is in charge of granting noise permits and he told me that the golf course did not have one, and noise permits are generally granted for recurring events. He said that he would look into it, but it gets complicated since I am in the county and the golf course is in the city. There are houses that are on the city side of the golf course, but they are further away from the concert venue. Basically the golf course has the stage and loud speakers pointed towards all the houses that are considered county property.
He said if I knew anyone in city limits it would be helpful if they submit complaints. I don't know anybody on that side of the golf course though.
I'm not sure where to go from here. They have another concert planned for tonight that they are selling tickets to. Last week when they had one I drove by the parking lot and there were about 200 cars in the parking lot, so it's not exactly a small event just for members. They are probably making a lot of money from these concerts, but they aren't zoned to be an outdoor concert venue.
What else can I do?

Welcome to Camp Redwood! The feel-good camp for ALL AGES.
We toast marshmallows around the fire, tell spooky ghost stories, and hide in random secret military bunkers under the campgrounds! Because SOMETHING IS HERE WITH US.
Camp Redwood is the PERFECT PLACE for a summer getaway where we start EVERY DAY with a CAMP REDWOOD SMILE. Where our counselors disappear every five minutes, and our campers disembowel us for funsies! Did I forget to mention our littles aren’t actually eight years old, but fully grown adults?
We hope you enjoy your fucking stay!
We are also not responsible for any counselors revealing they are not who they said they are—and not who they appear to be.
...
So. There’s a LOT to tell you and not a lot of time to tell it.
Right now, I suppose you could say we are under lockdown—if that is the word. I want to go over the last several days to get you up to date. That’s all I can do right now. I can hope and pray the thing with Teddy’s voice does not get in here, and once again cry out for help—that I know is not coming. Not from the authorities, at least. But hey, if any of you fancy coming to rescue us, we’re in the middle of the Canadian wilderness. The closest rest-stop is maybe three fucking hours away. So have fun. Has it really almost been a week since I posted? Well, we’re still here!
And surprise, surprise, help is not coming. So, please excuse the salt. I am seventeen years old and I have been abandoned by the adults who were supposed to be looking after us.
Who were supposed to act under protocol if something like this happened. I know they were waiting for it—there are specific fucking guidelines on an emergency evacuation for counselors if this ever happened. But then the little shits took over before we could do anything. I guess I’ll start by letting you know that there are two of us left. (three, if we count Rowan, but I’m not). What I thought was going to be a quiet summer getaway with kids my age has turned into a nightmare.
For one, we have been cornered inside the head counselor’s underground secret bunker. If you want to know why she has a secret military bunker, I guess you should keep reading.
Because shit gets weirder than animal crackers having the power to turn adults into kids, and vice versa. When I made my first post, I thought that was it for us. I thought for sure there must have been a self-destruct somewhere—which meant whoever was running this camp was waiting for something like this. I was sure we were going to die, so after making the post, I have to admit with ya’ll—I just slept. I curled up, tried to ignore Harry and Carmel calling our names through childish laugher, and went to sleep with the thought in my head that I was completely at peace with what I had done with my life.
Sure, I was young. Seventeen years old is too young to be ripped apart by littles who are in fact grown adults. But as I was falling into slumber and allowing myself to fall, with my head resting in my lap, my head turned towards a separate pile of files on the other side of the room—I realized I really wanted to know how this was possible. There was so much I needed to know. Why did eight-year-old Eleanor Summers have a file where here birthday dated back to 1979? Why had supposedly innocent sugary snacks turned our adorable littles into mini psychopaths?
These kids were not kids, somehow. But how? How was that even possible? Could it be that the files were wrong?
1979 was definitely 45.
But Eleanor Summers couldn’t be 45 years old. I knew what 45 looked like. I knew that they thought like. They spent half of their time on Facebook laughing at outdated memes, and the other half… I don’t know, working? They have job’s! They’re happily married with kids, maybe soon grandkids! That was not Eleanor Summers. Because Eleanor Summers was most definitely eight years old. I had played several rounds of teddy-bears picnic, and spent hours reassuring her that Harry's ghost stories were in fact not real, enough times for me to know that this little kid was little—and a kid.
But something was bothering me. More than the secret military bunker, and magic age-regressing animal crackers. When I first signed up to Camp Redwood, one of the tag-lines to gain attraction had been, “Solve mysteries in the woods in the dead of night, with nothing but a flashlight and your fellow campers!” I had no idea I would be solving this thing on my own, trapped inside a bunker.
“What are you doing?” Rowan, who was still looking through Allison’s dinosaur laptop, turned to me with half lidded eyes, when I slowly got to my feet, careful not to make too much noise, and crept over to the pile of separate files which seemed to be crumbling apart from age. He kept his voice low, but it sounded almost like a whine. He could have been scared, but from the way he was sitting, cross-legged with a frowny face, I figured something must have been going on with him. The guy looked tired. More tired than normal.
The bags under his eyes were practically shadowing his face, and were an odd contrast to unusually ashy colored cheeks and slightly dilated eyes. Still though, Rowan refused to look vulnerable. I caught glimpse of Harry’s raybans sitting on his head, pinning back thick dark brown curls from falling in front of sleepy eyes. Maybe he was finally losing his cool and breaking out of the well-constructed façade he had been hiding behind since Teddy disappeared.
We had just narrowly escaped a crowd of psycho littles high on age-regressing sugary snacks who were doing who-the-fuck knows to the other counselors who had been captured, so I didn’t blame him looking like that. I guess he couldn’t look me in the eye, because in Rowan’s mind, he was the reason why this happened. He was the leader, and the camp had fallen to psychopathic little eight year olds who had taken half of the counselors hostage, and the other half—most likely taken apart in the physical sense, after what we had witnessed in Cassie’s cabin. Still though, it wasn’t Rowan’s fault. He could sit there and pull a face all he wanted, it’s not like I was going to blow up at him for getting us stuck down here. He actually saved us.
And trapped us, judging from the footsteps upstairs, Carmel and Harry still bouncing around looking for us.
It was a game in their heads. The little’s thought it was cat and mouse. Harry and Carmel were the oblivious cats prowling, while we were the mice, hoping to fucking GOD we weren’t caught and eaten. Ignoring Rowan, I glimpsed what looked like a box full of DVD’S—all of which were labelled with dates and names. I saw familiar ones, my heart racing into my throat. Phoebe. Eli. Cassandra.
Each DVD had one of the kid’s names scribbled on the front, as well as a date.
I found Eleanor’s right at the back of the box.
Eleanor Summers.
08/05/2021. (PM)
Before I could hesitate and think what I was doing, I slid the DVD into the portable player attached to the MacBook. Rowan, to my surprise, didn’t move. But he did make an acknowledging noise when the screen flickered to what looked like video footage. Peering at the screen, I found myself staring at a small white room. There was no door. Only a wooden desk and a chair, and sitting on it was a middle aged woman with dark blonde curls tied into a strict ponytail. She was wearing what looked like a prison jumpsuit.
Her eyes were eerily glued to the camera, unblinking. Her wrists were cuffed in front of her. Though from the look on her face, she saw the restraints as a game. Her eyes lit up with intrigue and I could practically see the cogs in her mind starting to turn as she struggled with them.
As soon as I saw this woman, I felt all of my nerve endings set alight. I wanted to turn the screen off, or look away. But once I was looking at the screen, I couldn’t bring myself to tear my eyes away. “Let’s try this again.” There was a woman offscreen. She sounded young. Too young to be in that kind of authority. I figured there was no way teenagers were being hired as special ops agents, but I guessed I was wrong. She cleared her throat. “It is 4:35 exactly. August 5th 2021. My name is Agent Lemrac,” she stated. “I am asking once again for you to comply with us. As I have said several times, the court are willing to lessen your sentence if you plead guilty with insanity.”
The woman surprised me with a snorting laugh. She seemed to come alive, leaning forward with animated features, her brow reaching her hairline. She was acting like a child, bouncing up and down in the seat, her lips stretching into a wider grin. “What did you just say?”
There was a pause. I could tell the woman was intentionally antagonising the interviewer.
“It means you have been legally declared insane,” the interviewer stumbled over her words slightly. “Mrs Summers, it would be in your best interest to work with us to lessen your current sentence which at the moment is standing at,” the sounds of shuffling paper crackled through the speakers. The interviewer cleared her throat again rustling paper. “Thirty six years. Without parole.”
The woman didn’t speak, only continued to smile—and the interviewer delved further into the sentence. “If you do in fact plead guilty with declared insanity, you will be sentenced to a program which is in the process of supporting and rehabilitating people with your…” she caught herself for a moment. I could tell this interviewer had a biased opinion and it was definitely showing through her interviewing style. I could hear the rapid intakes of her breath as she hurried through what seemed to be a script she was reading from. “Conditions.” She finished. “The Redwood program aims to help people exactly like you.”
Redwood? I thought.
Like… Camp Redwood?
Rowan whistled behind me. I guess I could call that a reaction. The guy was probably still in shock after seeing Café de Teddy splattered all over little Cassie’s cabin floor. I should have fucking know those little bitches weren’t playing Operation for eight hours straight. Turning my attention from Rowan and back to the screen, the woman in the jumpsuit appeared to have changed tactics. Her expression twisted into nonchalance. She leaned back in her chair. “I am not pleading insane because I am not insane.”
“Mrs Summers—”
The woman cut her off. “I am not crazy.” She raised her hands “I am doing what needs to be done.” She leaned forward. “Humanity suffers in the skin. We age and die— and how is that fair? What if we want to see the next millennium? And the next two millennia after that? Why should our bodies dictate our lifespan? Why should we sit here and wait to rot and wither and die when we have the intelligence and mindset to do it? If nobody else is willing to throw ethics aside to take a step forwards in human evolution, I should do it myself.” She folded her arms across her chest, again, like a child. “I did what was to be done.”
“Dr. Summers.” The interviewer’s tone grew stiff. “You and your colleagues conducted illegal and unethical procedures on your family and friends—as well as four other victims.”
The woman inclined her head. “You have a daughter, am I correct? I have a son.”
“A child you killed, Dr Summers.” The interviewer retorted in a hiss which was definitely expressing emotion. She ignored the mention of her daughter, but I could tell it had rattled her to her core. Her voice had cracked. This case was close to her.
That was obvious. Without seeing the interviewer herself, I could sense how uncomfortable she was, shuffling in the chair. Every so often I would hear the sound of her rubbing her hands on her knees and tapping her shoe against the chair leg. She oozed anxiety, not just from her tone of voice, but the way the frame seemed to move with her. “Dr. Summers, you used your son in your research, along with several of his friends. This was not science.” Her voice shook. I heard her sharp inhale. Unprofessional, but very human. Instead of staying stoic and keeping to script, this agent was cracking apart. “It was murder.”
“Agent Lemrac, concentrate on the interview only.” An official voice crackled through what sounded like an intercom on screen.
“Got it.” She spoke through her teeth.
The woman was finding wounds and pressing on them. She was scanning the interviewer for vulnerabilities and preying on every insecurity. She leaned back speaking through a sigh. “Without my son’s sacrifice we wouldn’t have created an answer to death. To growing old and dying, and leaving loved ones behind.” Her voice softened into a murmur, but I didn’t trust it.
After identifying the shattering pieces of this interviewer which were very clear visible in her view, the woman was taking advantage.
“Agent Lemrac, you have a daughter. Am I correct in saying her name is Mari?
“That… that is not relevant.”
“Glioblastoma.” Dr. Summers lips curved into a sickening smile hidden behind mocking sympathy. “A sickness of the brain--which, unfortunately, I cannot fix. If your daughter’s brain was in my hands, I would try. However, not even a brand new body would help her. One which would never age or grow sick. And for that, I am deeply, deeply sorry.” She reached her cuffed hands forwards. “My condolences, Agent Lemrac. Honestly. I have to hand it to you. You are incredibly brave for coming here today and talking to me while abandoning your sick child.” She shook her head.
“Your daughter is dying of an incurable illness, suffering inside fragile skin which will break and fall apart and be unable to keep her standing for much longer. While my son will live on forever. He will see every millennia, a planet which will crumble and build itself back together. And maybe the end of the universe itself.” There was a twitch in her expression and a glitter in her eye I did not recognise. Insanity.
She was fucking insane. I was seeing the pure of it, the depraved and disgusting gleam in eyes empty of remorse and regret. This woman did not care what she had done. I could tell from the look on her face. If she had the chance, she would do this again.
But there was no way they were trying to say her cruelty and complete disregard for her son’s life was due to insanity.
“You are sick, Dr. Summers.” The interviewer said after a moment of gathering herself.
The woman shook her head with a chuckle. “I told you. I am not sick--”
“Sick in the head!” The interviewer’s voice exploded through the speakers in a shriek—a terrified cry she had been trying to hold in. I finally saw her—or at least the back of her. She was a young woman with light blonde hair falling loose on her shoulders. She was trembling. Slamming her hands down on the table, she screamed at the orange jumpsuit woman.
“You are psychologically fucked in the head! You psycho bitch! That is my sister!” She spoke through strangled sobs rattling her whole body. “Mari is my little sister. She is not my child.”
Her breaths were strangled and harboured. I noticed figures looming in the background, but she was continuing. “You killed your own fucking son,” she spat. “You are not legally insane, you are sick!” she shrieked. “You planned and put this together! You sit there and you talk about your son like he’s a… like he’s a tool! You deserve to rot. Do you hear me?” I noticed the orange jumpsuit woman was still smiling, satisfied with the interview’s reaction. Her words were spoken in a vicious poison as she leaned forward and spat directly in orange jumpsuit’s face.
“Agent Lemrac!” Whoever her superiors were—were panicking. “I told you not to turn it off. I knew this was going to happen. Can we stop the demonstration, please? Human emotions present inside an Aceville soldier are too powerful—"
Voices were murmuring in the background, and Agent Lemrac raised her hands. “I want to stop.” She choked out, her hands trembling. She spoke like she still had control over the situation and wasn’t being apprehended. “I want to stop. Do you hear me?” The interviewer was crying, I realized. “Stop the recording! I can’t do this. Oh god, I think I’m going to be sick—”
When the footage ended in a burst of static, I found myself backing away, something slimy creeping its way up my throat.
The woman in the orange jumpsuit who had murdered her son and countless others in what sounded like an attempt at playing god, was Eleanor Summers. I thought back to Teddy’s corpse, and the surgical precision of every organ’s removal. The young interviewer had mentioned colleagues of Eleanor.
Was it possible that Camp Redwood was in fact nothing more than a rehabilitation camp for murderous criminals? There was a loud bang from above, and I was torn from my thoughts.
I turned to Rowan, who had been unusually quiet. And I realized why, when I twisted around to find him three inches from my face, his laboured breath tickling my cheek.
The boy jumped back with a chuckle—like me noticing him was some kind of game, before diving back into the chair. I did notice something odd, as my thoughts spiralled. Rowan couldn’t sit still. Slumped in the leather spinning chair, he fingers tapped a rhythm on the armrests while his feet jumped up and down. In the dim light of the bunker, I glimpsed a sheen of sweat glistening on his forehead and the flesh of his neck. He looked to be… feverish—and now that I was looking at him properly, all of my attention on the boy, I noticed small things which seemed… off about him.
For one, he wasn’t coming up with a plan. Rowan always had a plan. Even if he wasn’t completely sure of it, or was completely winging it. This time though, he was strangely quiet. I found my voice when he stuck out his tongue at me. “What are you looking at?”
“Rowan.” I spoke softly, careful not to garner attention from above us where Harry and Carmel were still clamouring around, playing games. “Are you… feeling okay?” I asked, when he turned back to the laptop, manically biting his fingernails.
“I dunnnooooo, Josie! Am I feeeeeeling okaaaaaayyyyy?” He surprised me with an uncharacteristic laugh.
But I did know it.
I knew it from earlier when he reacted to Allison’s bunker and I had been too freaked out to realize that I was dragging along the enemy with me.
Because the fucking idiot had consumed animal crackers. I had seen him for myself earlier, pouring a pack into his mouth for a snack. Which meant either the ‘kids’ had intentionally dosed him with mind altering sugary snacks, or the more likely, he could not resist those preservatives which was the equivalent of caffeine. It’s not like I could blame him when he harboured the weight of an entire camp, but come on, did he really have to sacrifice his own fucking mind to keep himself awake?
Rowan wasn’t just biting. His nails. He was gnawing. Which he previously thought was a filthy habit. He had yelled at a camper for chewing on her nails a few days earlier.
Now that I was noticing it, I couldn’t… stop noticing it. The boy’s whole demeanour had changed; the way he was sinking into the chair, instead of sitting up straight like usual—- I used to call it having a stick up his ass. The boy started typing on the laptop, ignoring me. But when I watched the pattern of his fingers, he was just typing gibberish. Footsteps pounded above us, Harry and Carmel acting as the kid’s’ brainwashed foot-soldiers. Or, more likely somehow, if the animal crackers had caused the littles, or I guess, the fully grown forty year old criminals, to relapse in age-- then maybe it was possible for the same thing to happen to us. To Rowan.
I could feel myself starting to back away, but there was nowhere to run. I just slammed into a cupboard. My gaze flicked to Rowan again, who was tapping a beat on the laptop tracking pad, swaying back and forth, his eyes elsewhere before his gaze found mine. “Marcoooooo!” Harry shouted from above, giggling with Carmel.
I had to guess their mental age had to be at least 8-10 years old. Which meant I wasn’t just dealing with a camp full of forty-year-old psycho’s, I was also dealing with mentally relapsed counselors acting like toddlers.
Rowan seemed to jolt in the chair, twisting his head around, his eyes suddenly incredibly childlike and playful, and very Un-Rowan, were finding the ceiling, his mouth stretching into a smile, like he was seeing butterflies. His eyes flashed to me, and I caught a twitch in his lip. I knew that look. It was the look on my seven year old sister, who knew mom was mad at me, and wanted to make it even worse.
His cheeks were starting to blossom scarlet from what must have been the overwhelming urge to laugh. Rowan pressed his lips together and held in a breath like a hamster, and the asshole was fucking with me. waiting for me to beat him to it by accident. Kids were fucking ruthless, but there was something terrifying about an 18 year old with a little kid’s mind.
I lifted my index to my lips, miming for him not to even try, but the boy just mimicked me, bugging out his eyes and pressing his finger to his grinning mouth. “Don’t you fucking dare.” I managed to whisper. The boy was definitely playing his own game, moving in twitching movements, baiting me. When he cupped his mouth, I almost let out a cry, but then he dropped his arms with a giggle, as if to say, “I’m just kidding!”
Slowly, I turned around, grabbed the salt I’d found in Allison’s cupboard, and a flat can of soda. Without making too much movement, I poured a handful of salt into the can. But Rowan seemed to know exactly what I was doing. Because in the time it was taking me to advance towards him, with the can of salty soda, one arm shakily ready to grab hold of him, and put him into a headlock, he was cupping his mouth, all logic and everything adult, everything he had been as our leader, igniting in playful eyes, leaving me the last one standing.
“Pollloooooo!”
By the time Rowan had managed to reveal our hiding place in a spluttered laugh, I had hold of the squirming boy, one arm wrapped around his neck, my other forcing the can of soda into his mouth. I had definitely miscalculated his strength. During camp Redwood activities, he was always the last one to come back from the trail, holding his knees and panting. I figured he was unfit. However, I was wrong. Underneath his shirt, the guy had some serious muscles.
It was like attacking a brick wall. However, Rowan was mentally a kid. So, I had my intelligence and logic on my side. When it became obvious I wasn’t going to get anywhere with brute strength, I resorted to tickling him, which made him squirming, squeaking out a laugh. When he opened his mouth to yell at me to stop, I took my chance, thrusting the can into his lips and holding his nose so he swallowed it down.
“No!” His laughter turned into muffled yelling, as he batted his fists at my chest. “No, no, no! Get off, get off!”
His body convulsed as the salt did its job, causing the boy to lurch to his knees and choke up forbidden animal crackers in a gooish sludge which turned my stomach. By the time Rowan seemed half himself and half not, still kneeling, his head pressed against the floor, Harry was poking his head through the door with a goonish grin. “Found you!” He giggled, before forcing the door open, allowing Carmel and Callen, freshly caught mentally turned into littles, to advance down the stairs with equally terrifying grins. There was something wrong with Harry’s face, and I only realized it when the guy himself was hauling me from the bunker, Carmel dragging a barely responsive Rowan. There was nothing in Harry’s expression, only blind childish excitement at winning the game. When he dragged me out of Allison’s cabin and threw me to the ground, I realized he too had insane strength I had not been expecting. But that thought quickly retracted when I was seeing his face in the light of a crescent moon lighting up the sky an eerie glow. Harry’s cheeks were puffy and swollen, his right eye way bigger than it should have been.
When he spoke, his voice was more of a lisp. This was something far more realistic than magical animal crackers fucking with his brain.
“He needs help!” I managed to choke out when Carmel wrapped jump-rope around my wrists. Next to me, Rowan was refusing to get up, still choking up salty soda, groaning into his hands. Every time Callen tried to restrain him, he hissed out like an animal.
“Do you hear me?!” I struggled violently. “Harry needs—”
BANG.
Is what it felt like. The feeling of something—what felt and sounded like a toy car—colliding with my temples, sent me onto the ground, my head spinning itself off of its axis. I remember lying on my back and frowning at the moon which almost looked like it was getting closer to me, blurring into a white ball of light—before reality sunk in, and it was in fact Carmel’s converse coming down to finish me off. I didn’t stay knocked out for long. But I did dream.
I think you can call it a dream? I was lying in bed at home; my room drowned in the dark. I was cosy, curled up in my blankets, when a clammy hand slammed over my mouth, rousing me from slumber. There were two figures in my room. They didn’t have faces. They just existed as shadows, silhouettes. Before one of them raised something above their head, and… impact.
It was the same impact as the toy car hitting me, snapping me back to that night. It wasn’t a dream. Because I remembered his clammy fingers over my mouth, and his hisses for me to shut up as he dragged me from my room.
My parents stood in front of me with expressions of sympathy. Basked in warm light, my mom and dad looked almost otherworldly. “For the best.” Was what they mouthed when my own phantom screams slammed into me, I asked them why, and they didn’t reply, allowing him to pull me further and further from what I knew, from my life as I knew it. But.. that couldn’t be real. I had memories of getting on the bus to camp Redwood. I could recall the whole journey. So, why… why was my tangled mind saying otherwise?
When I gathered myself, the first thing I realized was I was sitting down. I was outside, cool night air grazing my bare arms. There was something attached to me, jerking violently, And it took me several disorientating blinks to understand that I was tied back to back with Rowan. My head pounded, and something wet and warm dripped down my temple. Great. I could add head injury to the long list of things to worry about.
“Let me go you little fucking witch.”
Rowan was back to himself, though from the muffled hissing and the sound of choking—I had to guess he was being force-fed animal crackers.
“Let me—mpphmmm. little…. fucking… mphmmphhmhppmm!”
“Rowan.” I managed to get out in a croak. Through flickering eyes, I caught glimpse of a familiar figure dancing around us. Shivers rocketed down my spine, and I wrenched at the jump-rope restraints, but they did a surprisingly job of restraining my arms behind my back.
Eleanor was with Rowan, while Eli was knelt in front of me. Looking at him, the boy had definitely aged in the face—and I couldn’t help wondering what exactly he had done as a forty something year old to be sent to this place.
“Josie!” Rowan responded in a wail. “Josie. Wake the FUCK up.”
“Stop swearing.”
Eleanor spoke with the cold tone of her actual age.
“Oh, yeah?” Rowan spluttered. “Fuck you.” The boy’s laugh was still rough from almost vomiting his insides out from too much salt intake. “I’m sorry, you were a fucking boomer all along?!” He wriggled in the restraints, lunging forwards, which sent me backwards.
“Stop swearing, Rowan.” Was all the girl responded with calmly.
“Like I’m going to listen to you!” He sneered. “Fuck, fuck, fuckity, fucking fuck!” What are you going to do, huh? Bite me with your false teeth?” The sound of saliva hitting skin made me wince. He was pissed. I had no doubt his completely rational anger was going to get us killed. Rowan was also somehow getting mixed up between forty and eighty. Though he was unwillingly snacking on mind bending sugary goodness.
“Fudge, Rowan.” Eleanor spoke in a giggle.
“What?!”
“Say fudge. Not fuck.”
“No.”
His hiss of pain caught me off guard. I don’t know what she was doing to him, but it was hurting him.
“You fudging fudge! I’m going to fudging kill you when I get out of these fudging ropes—“ his manic cursing became a muffled yell.
“Say fudge,” Eleanor hummed, followed by his hiss when the palm of her hand skinned his cheek. “Fuck is a bad word. You even said so yourself and you’re my favourite counselor.”
He heaved out a breath.
“You fudge,” Rowan spat. “When I get out of this, I am going to fudging kill you, you fudging—” His manic ranting morphed, once again, into muffled yelling, after another fistful of animal crackers were forced into his mouth. When I risked twisting around, I could see his rebellion slowly starting to simmer out as he relaxed slightly. I wanted to yell at him to keep a clear head before cold fingers were dipping under my chin and forcing my head around where I found myself face to face with Eli.
“I like you, Josie,” he said, before untying me and pulling me to my feet. Now at the age of nine or ten, he was a lot stronger. When I tried to pull away, the cruel blade of a knife grazed my gut. I caught his grin. “But we don’t need you.” Eli pointed to Rowan.
“We just want them.”
I followed his pointer finger which went from Rowan to Harry and Carmel, who were just standing there like fucking idiots, probably awaiting the next game. Harry’s face was getting redder. It looked like he was suffocating, and yet his grin was growing wider and wider, splitting his lips apart. “Rowan Atlas.” Eleanor said, dragging him to his feet. Something was stapled to his forehead head, which caused him to howl in pain, hissing another strangled line of “Fudge”. but I couldn’t read what it was.
“Camp leader. Intelligent, and problem solving skills.”
“Harry Carlisle.” Eli nodded his head with a smile. “Quick thinker. Strong minded.”
“Carmel Locke.” Cassie spoke behind me. She had her arms folded, a wry smile on her lips. “Smarter than she makes out—- an independent learner, and can work well under pressure.”
Looking at these kids, I felt sick to my stomach. They were planning something—and had the intelligence of renowned scientists, which was what I gathered from the footage on the MacBook. “What?” was all I could hiss out, as Eli prodded the blade of the knife into my back, ushering me to walk. “What are you talking about?”
“Duh.” He spoke in a more tweeny giggle. “Like I said, Miss Josie. You’re my favorite counselor but we don’t need you, so I’m going to use you for parts.” He laughed when a shiver spiderwebbed down my spine. “See! I told you I was going to show you my collection!”
“But… what do you need them for?”
Eli pressed his index finger to his lips with a laugh before forcing me to face forwards. “That’s a secret!”
When I didn’t, or couldn’t move, he shoved me into a stumbling power-walk, and I managed to turn my head quickly, making feverish eye contact with Rowan.
“Rowan.” I said calmly through the gutter in my throat. “Get…. Get help.”
If I was going to die, I needed him to get a hold of himself and somehow alert the outside world what was going on.
“From whom, Josie?!” He wailed back—and as I was dragged away, I could once again sense the childish undertones in his voice.
I had no choice but to obey Eli’s orders. If I didn’t want a knife in my back. He took me to the main lunch cabin, which, when I set foot inside, almost sent me to my knees.
Something lurched inside me, and I was screaming with no voice, staggering backwards, only to be shoved onto my face. In front of me was what had been the lunch hall, fully converted into the beginning of a laboratory.
What had been cafeteria tables were fashioned into makeshift gurney’s and beds, and I was looking at all of the missing counselors. Yuri and Noah had been skinned completely, their faces laid out on a makeshift surgical table. Joey had been ripped open, his heart and brain removed, a glittering metallic substance creeping its way across his forehead. It was then when I remembered Eleanor Summers words.
She wanted to prevent death and preserve the human mind. Looking at what was in front of me, this was the start of it. There was equipment I had never seen before. Lily’s body was empty, carved out completely, tubes forced inside her. When I glimpsed her fingers move and begin to ball into a fist, I saw red. I saw fucking red. The exit was so close and yet Eli, fucking Eli, wielded his knife. I think that is when part of me gave up. My brain just stopped. It short circuited. Seeing my friends murdered and yet somehow being kept alive through playing god, my body slumped to the ground. I was numb. Completely numb.
I’m not sure what would have happened if those bloody saws and instruments which had been used on my friends were used on me too.
Luckily, that did not happen. Before Eli could get his slimy hands on me, he crumpled to the ground in an almost cartoon-like fashion, and standing over me was Harry. Who was looking better. When he grasped hold of me and helped me up, I only had one word. “Out.” And he was nodding, his eyes glistening as he drunk in our friends’ fate.
“How?” I managed to sputter out, when we made it out of the cabin, ducking behind a tree. Harry turned to me, motioning for me to shut up. There was a group of now ten to eleven year olds already running around, searching for what I guessed was him.
“I’m allergic to peanut butter,” Harry murmured, his grasp tightening on my wrist as he led me across the camp, the two of us stumbling.
“What, and you just magically healed?”
He didn’t respond to that, which bothered me.
“The bunker is our best shot,” I hissed out. “I think we can get in contact with someone down there.” I paused, unable to stop myself. “What makes you so important?”
“Dunno. Maybe I’m their favorite.”
When we found Allison’s cabin, which was more of a safehouse (an exposed safehouse) I found Rowan sitting on the wooden porch with his legs swinging over the side. “Rowan!” Harry hissed. I found it hard to believe their roles had been switched. Now he was the one yelling at the camp-leader. “I told you to stay inside!”
He ushered the boy inside, before barricading the door with some hefty looking equipment. I could tell from the grin on his face that our so-called leader was once again no longer himself.
I had to bite back a groan. “You’re kidding.” I said, pointing to Rowan, who buried his head in his knees and blew a raspberry. “Does he look and act like our leader right now?!”
“It’s Rowan, Josie.”
“He’s a liability.”
“He’s our friend! Wouldn’t Rowan do the same?”
Yes, he would. But. He would also realize we’re lost causes.
“Gag him with something.” I said. “If he makes any more noise, we’re dumping him.”
“He’s a kid!”
“Just the mind of one.”
I don’t know how animal crackers worked, but his age seemed to be progressively younger. This time he just sat with wide eyes watching us.
Harry almost tore apart the place looking for means of communication, before an old fashioned ringing sound made me jump.
“What was that?” Harry turned to me with his lip curled.
“How am I supposed to know?!” I hissed. “Keep looking!” But when I ducked under the table, my hands crawled under the desk, finding a wire—and attached to that, an ancient looking phone which looked straight out of a 1940’s movie, a bright green rotary phone.
Hesitantly, I answered it, lifting the phone to my ear. “Hello?”
“Did you awaken the subjects, Agent Salta?"
The voice on the other end was a woman, an oldish sounding woman with the tinge of a British accent.
“What?” I shot a look at Harry before shaking my head. “No. My name is Josie Greenfield. We’re at Camp Redwood, and we need help.”
The woman paused.
“Where is Agent Salta?” She cleared her throat. “This line is reserved for communication with agents only.”
“I don’t know who the fuck you’re talking about!" I hissed out. “My name is Josie, and whatever is happening here, we need help!”
“Josie. Did you awaken the subjects?”
I paused after a moment, shooting Harry a look when he tried to take the phone off of me. “Yes.”
“And… are our agents unavailable?”
“I don’t understand.”
“When a health and safety breach is activated, our agents are awakened to deal with the Project Spearhead subjects if they were to ever go rogue, or become conscious enough to think. Josie, can you tell me what is in front of you? Describe it to me.”
I held my breath. Next to the hidden phone under the desk was what looked like mismatched wires, all of which had been severed. I lowered myself slowly, poking at mess. “Wires. I see… cut up wires.” I whispered. “Does this mean they know about you?”
She hummed. “Ah…That makes sense. The only way to activate our sleeper handlers would be to send out the signal. You appear to have been sabotaged. Unless activated manually, our agents cannot help you. I am sorry. They are your problem now.” The woman paused.
“If I were you, I would hope and pray they have not sabotaged the self-destruct. If you find that, then you may be able to save yourselves and find peace.” She cleared her throat. “Thank you for your service, Josie Greenfield.”
“Wait.” I managed to get out. “Wait, no! You can’t just… you can’t leave us! We need help!”
I found myself yelling at nothing when the phone went dead. The dull tone of the dead ringtone was clanging in my ears before footsteps from up above. “Fuck this.” Harry picked up a lead pipe. “They’re still little kids, right? I mean, their head must still be partly kids—- so let’s fucking beat their heads in.”
He noticed something, then, starting forwards towards the mess of files I had left earlier. Harry knelt on the ground and picked up Eli’s file, his eyes wide. But he wasn’t staring at the dates confirming the little boy’s age.
Instead, Harry pointed at the bottom of the file. “I don’t want to freak you out, Josie,” he whispered. Initially, I didn’t know what he was trying to show before I glimpsed notes scrawled at the bottom of the file, followed by a signature. “But I’m pretty sure that is my fucking writing.”
Harry was right.
I pulled the paperwork off of him, flicking through each file before turning my eyes to him. “Who the fuck are you?” I managed to hiss out.
A clanging sound from above broke the tension, and whatever Harry was about to reply with was strangled in his throat. He slammed a hand over his mouth.
“Guys?”
The voice twisted me up inside, threatening to release a shriek from my mouth I had managed to clamp shut.
Teddy.
“Are you down here?” His voice was strained, and had an odd tone to it. “I can’t… I can’t see you.”
…
Can someone please tell me what the fuck is going on?! It’s been a blur of a week. We’ve managed to stay down here, surviving off of Allison’s rations. Rowan isn’t getting any better. He seems to have stopped mentally de-ageing at the age of maybe six. Harry has spent the last few days trying to get in contact with anyone, but it’s like they are IGNORING US.
I’ve been looking through everything I can find on Project Spearhead, but nothing points to Harry being involved. So. How is his signature all over the files? How is it possible that two friends I thought I knew several days ago, are now complete strangers?
Teddy keeps coming back.
He’s crying out to us.
I think he’s… in pain.
My god, I can’t stand this anymore. Please. CAMP REDWOOD NEEDS HELP.

First of all, I know I fucked up, just not sure how much.
2017 Subaru Crosstrek MT 155k miles
Replaced front CV axles but not seals. Driver side had slow leak, I monitored with dip stick and added once. After awhile the diff started making a high pitched buzzing noise after driving for while and it being all warmed up. Slow sharp turns (getting into/out of parking spot) make a shuttering affect as if I was driving 4WD instead of AWD. That day I drained and replace the the 70w90 (magnet on drain plug had surprisingly little particles). This helped a bit, when cold, it does not experience the turning issue but will once warmed up. I'm guessing I need a new front dif. And yes, the CV axle seal has since been replaced. I'm a dummy, any and all constructive advice appreciated.

There have been a couple of loose manhole covers on the roads near my home making loud clanking noises each time a vehicle drives over. I can each clank audibly through my closed windows and doors. It is very annoying to say the least. For example, I have to wear earplugs to get to sleep.
I reported these to the council almost 2 months ago and have phoned them a few times since for updates but either get no help or conflicting info. For example, the first time I phoned after reporting these, the staff member told me that someone had been out to assess the manholes and the info had been passed on to the contractor for repair. Then I phoned for an update a week or 2 later and the staff member told me that someone would be out so assess the manholes within the following week.
Does anyone have any experience in dealing with the council with this issue? Any tips for speeding up the process?

My Corgi is 1 year 7 months old. He has been a very good and chill dog for the most part with very little barking for no reason. He has recently just starting this phase where he constantly barks like crazy to go outside. Then when he is outside (if we don’t go with him) he wants to bark to come inside. He comes i side, and then immediately starts to bark to go outside. The cycle is rinse and repeat.
We have no clue what is happening to him that is making him act this way but here are a few changes recently…..

1. We have had to put down 3 pets so far this year (it has been rough) and just before this phase we had to put down our dog that we would consider the pack leadeelder.
2. The weather recently became nice as this phase was starting where he wants to go outside.
3. When it is only 1 person in the room he doesn’t really act this way (the barking) but if we both (me and my spouse or another person) are in the same room (just existing) he starts the barking.
4. We aren’t sure if this is possibly him going through the terrible 2s phase of life or if this is somehow connected to grief in some way/shape/form. Or if this is something else entirely.

Please if someone could offer advice that would be so helpful. Im hyper sensitive to loud abrupt/ear piercing noises and it is really impacting my mental health and my patience with others around me. Any advice would be great.

Special thanks to u/SpacePaladin15 for allowing fanfiction and giving us Tilfish.
[First] [Prior] [Next]
.*~*.
Memory Transcription Subject: ? , run run run run run run.
Date: December 2, 2136
.~*~.
I'm tired. I'm so unbearably tired. I don't remember the fall or when my legs quit working, but I'm still denied the sweet release of sleep by the fires radiating from my muscles. It's sick and twisted, but I don't think I can move any more. I'm stuck here face down in the soil, unable or unwilling to do anything but wonder if a harvesting drone will roll over me and turn me into mist on the crops I'm lost in. My mouth itches. Some loose soil in my nose makes me hack, but there's nothing I can do but wheeze and pant. There's not a drop of moisture left in me. I'm all shriveled up. Everything's a haze.
I should've stopped for water. There was time. A few ponds that didn't look filmed over with vile algae blooms. The last town had a fountain on the outskirts. There were a few distant outbuildings that could've had a sink or a hose. Really, a few mouthfuls would've been enough to keep me from cramping up. Now I feel like I'm all dried out, like a stick of fruit jerky.
I should've taken a break. I've not been able to run in so long. I knew it was getting bad, but I ignored it. I'm paying for it now. I pushed way too far. Run until I black out. Wake up. Repeat. For days and days, or however long I've been free. I don't know. Every time I wake I can't tell if minutes have passed or days. I would push myself back to my feet and run. Because distance is all that matters. I made the right call avoiding the roads. The cameras. The soles of my feet are battered and wail in pain, but for every step I took was a minute longer I got to feel the sun kiss my scales and the gentle caress of the wind upon my neck. The cool soil seeping into my burning side. Fresh air in my lungs. Faint mist on my back.
I should've calmed down. I'm wasting what little time I have left stuck here in misery. I missed my chance to escape. My saviors were predators, but it would've been a better fate. And they're everywhere. Monsters and Predators alike. The whole planet is getting what it deserves. I made my choice, but now I'm squandering it. At least the soil is nice. Even as broken as I feel, it is only temporary. I know this is heaven. I wouldn't trade it for anything else. Even if my tongue is dried and bleeding.
I.
Just.
Need.
To.
Get.
Up.
no no no no no. Hurts. Hurts hurts hurts.
UP.
My body rebels. I settle on crawling. Dragging my tainted digits through the soil and forcing myself through the mud.
Puddle. Puddle Puddle Puddle.
I'm glad to be alive. I'm glad for this puddle. It's my whole world. I crawl to it as quickly as my body allows and beyond, but I'm too dehydrated to cry at the lancing pain in my joints. I slip and tumble into it face first, a cold shock making me freeze up. I don't even try to drink at first, my eyes closed as I lay partially submerged in this brackish water. It makes me feel slightly better as the cold gently eases my neck muscles, and I feel the rest of my body cramping up again.
Imagine drowning in a claw of water. I'm suddenly terrified that it's possible. I throw an arm out and dig it deep into the mud, clawing silt as I awkwardly pull myself in sideways. I roll, splashing the rest of the way in and feeling my poorly treated scales weep as the cold bleeds into them. I lay my head sideways and drink, gagging at the taste but unable to stop myself. I still can't cry, but my face is still trying to produce tears anyways.
In delirium, I notice the corner of a structure well above me. It's a pole, made of metal and towering well above me. Morning dew drips off of it and into my eye not currently submerged, and I blink it away.
Thank you pole. You're a life saver.
I don't plan on moving for a while, so I don't. The dew drips onto my snout several times, and my body rejoices at the cool water I've partially submerged myself in. The silt in my mouth is a necessary and tolerable evil from my desperate dive, and I angle my snout so that I can catch the fresh dew dripping from above instead. It tastes far better than the puddle, and for the first time in ever, I feel a smile creeping on my face.
.*~*.
I blink lazily, one eyelid operating a few seconds behind the other. I feel better. This blackout felt more natural, less forced. Like a gentle wave over my mind than the harsh crack of a baton. My mouth is still full of silt that I spit out, and a moment later I realize I can spit again. The bitter taste of blood in my mouth is faint now, and the joy of having a wet palate can't be described.
ow.
It hurts to move. I try again, but my flesh feels like it's been filled with concrete. My muscles are too tight on my bones. Stiffly, I try again, making little progress, but still progress. I edge out a claw at a time, barely getting my neck out of the pool before collapsing, the chilly waters leaving me shivering.
Where am I?
A very good question, I ask myself. I don't know. That's the cost of running without direction for so long. I think I'm in a field, judging by the crops looking over me and encompassing my wide vision of the vibrant sky overhead.
Yeah... that's it. I'm in a field. Brilliant observation skills.
I try again, but nothing new comes up. For the first time since I fled, I think about what I'm going to do. I'm free. I'm free. What am I going to do now that I'm free? How long do I have? I know the answer to that already. I have a long time. Everybody that knew me is dead and gone. I just need to be careful and not ruin this chance. I should try and find a town. Cities are too big, too many problems could come up. Too many exterminators. I could start over off the beaten path. Somewhere I can hide in plain sight.
This is Sillis. Being me shouldn't be an issue. I... I can get a labor job somewhere. Change my name. What can I do?
...
What can I do?
What is my name?
"Oh dear." I whispered quietly to myself, brows furrowing. Odd. How odd. I can move on from that. Makes starting a new life easier. Something that isn't four walls and a paper thin mattress. Something outside. I just... need to get... out of this darn puddle. No, still not happening. Ouch.
I splash my paw into the puddle in frustration, using about the full range of motion I seem capable of in a mild fit. I want to stay on the move, but the consequences of my poor decision making have come back to bite me right on the rear. At least I have some time to think.
I could try the lumber industry. That's usually away from people. I think I can figure out how to knock down trees, or at least fix up the machines that can. Maybe I can join a farm around here once I'm cleaned up. There's always something to do on a farm. Like counting shipments, or unloading shipments, or loading them. Maybe I can fix things around the property. Golly, I hope I know how to fix the automated machinery. That would really be nice.
Ooh! I could try and be a tram service maintenance operator. Wait, no no no. That requires background checks, I think. Darn it. Uuuh, road utility services? No, that'll take me into cities one way or another. There's a ton of work with drainage systems and water run off here. I could get good money for that since it's risky. Pollutants, constant thundering streams of water. I think I can go with that. There would be a lot of rural investigations that I could apply for. If not, I'm certain the underground construction projects would bear fruit. I'll miss the sun but nobody would bother me too much... no, still too many people. Drainage systems it is!
A faint whistle catches my ear and I freeze, tilting my head as something green flies just overhead. It clips several stalks and leaves as it passes, but seems unbothered as the severed branches fall to the ground and leaves gently cascade after. I follow its path with an eye and it vanishes between some tall plants, leaving me alone just as quickly as-
Nope, the same thing floats by again, darting between crops once more directly above me. It's odd, I can't hear wing beats or buzzing, or see anything keeping it airborne as it passed, and I wait with baited breath to see if it shows itself again. I don't know what I feel, but it isn't terror. It's... something. Curiosity? This time I hear a chirrup, but it's close. I don't see it float by, and painfully I crane my neck and look at the other side of the puddle.
It's an insectoid of some kind, strangely wide and flat. It looks pretty similar to the leaves on the many trees that I've seen since I got out, with uneven, tapered sides. It has a few pairs of legs, and it scuttles to the puddle and dips the front of its body towards the surface. It really does look like a large leaf, but my observation is cut short when the bug abruptly stops moving within barely a claw of the water, a pair of forward facing compound eyes snug against the stem near the tip of its body. It chirps again, and I see narrow maw under the front of this creature, a slim set of fangs briefly glinting in the sun before its mandibles hide them.
"Oh dear." I manage to whisper.
With remarkable dexterity it hops across the body of water and splashes down on top of me, and several legs grip my ribs and arms. My tail flicks under the water's surface, but I don't move as the thing's maw looms over my snout. A smaller set of feelers touch my scales and let it guide where it can't see, and it pecks at my nostril once. I smell ozone and feel a different fire burn in my core, and relax.
This isn't ideal. It really isn't. But it's still better that what once was. You won't hurt me for too long. You're better than they ever were.
Trading my cell for this... it's not that scary. Somehow, despite this predator straddling me and chewing on my snout, I'm not scared of it. I have alarms shrieking in my ears and ozone burning my nostrils and wrists. Bubbly poison twisting my insides and making me gag. I'm terrified of that, but that's long gone. That broken visage cuts deep, but it leaves me feeling empty. I'm alone with this thing pecking at my skull, occasionally chirping or hissing softly as it chews over my scales.
It's little mandibles flutter over my cheek and squish it, the fangs behind it pricking at my scales but never really puncturing. It's odd, almost exploratory. I hear a faint plip as some dew from the pole overhead drips onto the creature, and it leans back slightly to presumably look up. It lowers back down on me, and I wince as it gets a little rougher. It halts for a moment, mandibles still dancing over my scales, before I feel a set of legs slip past my arms and latch onto my back.
I grit my teeth, expecting it to finally lunge down and bite into my flesh as the rest of it's body tenses, but with a start it lifts me up with strength I didn't think it had. My back scrapes along the mud as it lifts me and drags me partially out of the muck. It lowers me down just as quickly as it started, leaving a bit of my upper body out of the water and in the warm air. I blink as it lowers its body down onto my own, legs tightening its grip on me as it presses itself against me. It chirrups again and resumes nibbling on my neck, and my mind absently puzzles over this change of events.
It's roosting on me. Is it my body heat? I feel cold, but maybe it's colder. I wish I knew what you were. I'm glad you're not really biting me. It tickles, stop!
I couldn't help but squeak out a laugh, despite the very present danger I was in. The bug tensed for a moment but didn't sink its fangs into my neck, and after a moment it resumed licking at me. Slowly, it's legs tightened on my body and it pressed itself against me further, and it hissed softly. I closed my eyes when it's maw pressed against me, but once again no bite split me open and drained my lifeblood. It's mandibles tickled my scales some more as the creature flattened out, the ridges of its body laying in the mud as it settled down. I was all but buried under the thing that was almost as big as me, and my tail swished lightly in the water.
Once again, I find myself stuck. I wasn't going anywhere anyways, but now I'm very stuck. Hopefully it doesn't get peckish. This thing could definitely eat me if it wanted to. It's funny that I'm supposed to fear it. All those training exercises failed. Every test and experiment. Maybe it enforced the wrong behavior. I think I might've been respectfully afraid of this creature once, but that part of me is all burned up. If it existed at all.
.~*~.
I've missed the novelty of clouds. Sillis has an overabundance of them, but so far I've been lucky that none of the ones passing overhead were angry. It's almost odd that no rain has come, but I'm glad. I faintly remember that the rains could become acidic if there's too long a pause between storms. Too much smoke or warp residue building up in the atmosphere.
So far I've counted two absolutely towering thunderheads and small storm systems roll by in all their stunning glory, and dozens of smaller offsets in their wake. Hundreds of individual clouds dot the skies, not quite blanketing it yet. It's pleasant, even within the grasp of a large, sleeping predator that's fully enveloped me. I can feel it's diaphragm shifting ever so slightly on my chest, and it twitches occasionally.
I don't mind. For now, things are peaceful. I'm enjoying that. At least, until something crunched a few rows over.
That sounds a lot bigger than this predator.
The creature shifts slightly but doesn't wake as whatever else is out there stalks through the crops. It has to be a predator, from how quiet it moves. Every little rustle and faint step happen far from each other, and my mind immediately jumps to an ambush hunter. Carefully, I move my head to catch a glimpse of the thing, trying not to disturb the slumbering creature that is currently resting it's mouth on my neck. My scales fade into a dirty black that matches the soil, and I squint to hide my eyes from whatever is out there.
There's movement on my left, something tall shifting between the crops a few rows down. I hear a rumbling noise- a deep based growl, and the back of my skull itches.
"...D-1?"
No no no no no. I don't want to go back. I want to be free.
I know what the thing is. It's a new predator. A sapient one. The same ones that freed me. The same ones that wanted to herd me onto a ship. I can't do this. Sapient predators are cruel, far crueler than the average ones. A normal predator wasn't personal about the kill. It could be reasoned with. Where did that come from? A sapient predator was ruthless for entertainment.
I owe them my life.
They'll just take it.
There's a rustle from a different direction, and a behemoth steps out of the crops far closer to me than I would prefer. It is armored like the many I've seen before, but I realize instead of a firearm it wields a bulky tool of some kind tightly in its paws. It dawns on me that it's colors are different, green and blue instead of solid blue, and there's a colorful flag of some kind pressed on the garments of its arm.
"Copy." It rumbled quietly.
"Crikey, you spooked me there!" the other predator whispered, changing course. Thankfully the closest one broke off to meet it, and they stopped one row over. It was best I stay still. Their hearing was better than they let on. "Okay, did you get it done?"
I can't see them clearly, but some non verbal communication must have occurred because the one predator continues speaking.
"Good. Look, trouble is coming. A fellow seppo noticed the ordinance went missing. He's suspicious. There'll be heat soon. Have you made any progress with the other front?" A pause. "Same. I've dealt with several of his goons, but none knew anything good."
"I'll have him tonight."
"...D-1?"
"An exterminator account and reversed polarity on some switches works wonders."
"...you seppos are terrifying."
"We're a world power for a reason."
"...yeah. Do you have the drive? Nice. You keep this up and we'll have everything we need from this planet before Christmas. We're going to make things right." There's an odd grunt, and one of them starts rumbling quietly in what translates as amusement. "Involved in peace. What do they really think this accomplishes?"
"Don't care. We find our whales and move on."
"Come on, we can have some more fun if we're careful! Don't act like that doesn't entertain you after that bomber plot of yours!"
"S-4," there's an undertone in that growl that makes my scales shrink, "remember the prize."
"...God, you're a hard ass. Fine. I'm certain you're carrying that giant wrench for peaceful reasons and not to crack open any skulls out here. I'll check the smuggling routes. Rig up something to keep these bugs under our thumb. You keep being you. I need to move before they notice I'm gone."
Faint footsteps leading away, and I sighed. While brief, just being around them made my scales crawl-
The crops right beside me parted, and the other predator stepped out. It's covered foot splashed into the puddle, and stirred the predator enveloping me. Much to my horror the thing chirruped and hissed, releasing me and spinning around. The apex predator looked down at the smaller thing and regarded it.
:)
The drawing on the mask was comical, and not at all what I was expecting. Most humans didn't wear masks, so blinding terror didn't sweep me away. I almost laughed at the absurdity of concealing one's face, only to make a lazy drawing of a face overtop of it.
The smaller predator didn't find it nearly as confusing or entertaining as I did, and hissed. The apex didn't falter, but surprisingly held its ground despite being threatened by a lesser predator.
Most predators would make a threat back and assert itself. Or lash out. What is this one up too? It's not acting submissive so it isn't backing down. But it isn't retaliating either. Does it need to? It's using it's own size as a deterrent.
My thoughts are interrupted when my toothy cover abruptly spins and flees, gaining air under its body and become airborne. It slashes through a row of crops and is gone, just like how it arrived. The apex still hasn't moved. It takes a few steps forward, nearing me. I can't tell if it's looking at me or not so I close my eyes tight, hoping that my eyes hadn't given me away. There's a thump right beside me and I flinch. I can feel it's presence. It has stopped walking.
It knows. Somehow it sees me. It knows it knows it knows.
Something warm grazes my neck and I flinch again, despite myself. I can't do it. I don't want to die with my eyes closed. I want to see the sun and the clouds and the crops, not this faux darkness.
I open my eyes and it's right there, crouched over me. I can't bother with wasting my energy by screaming. It saw through my camouflage and had a paw to my neck. I wished it to be merciful and just strike me down with the wrench it brought, but it doesn't. Instead it plunges its paw into the water, under my rump. It rips me out of the water and I gasp as its other paw slips down under my shoulders and lifts, but my mind catches up a moment later when it pressed me against it's chest instead of its mouth, forsaking my exposed stomach. It's grip loosens slightly and it adjusts, an arm under my shoulder blades and legs. I can feel the muscles rippling in it's grip, and how easily it could fold me over backwards and squish me. I've seen it first hand.
But it's so gently. So unbelievably gentle. I don't remember the last time I was touched like this. Something in a dark recess of my mind wavered, and I realized I'd curled my tail around the creature's arm without meaning to. It holds me a little closer, nowhere near enough to hurt, and my scales start to change to match the colors it wears. It's not looking at me, the mask is angled too far up. We're moving at a blinding pace suddenly, the rows of crops blurring in my vision. It doesn't stop. This apex runs like a machine, each breath consistent and calculated to a rhythm I notice. Its breathing labors but it keeps going, warm jets of air spitting out the bottom of its mask and onto my soggy, damp form.
It's so warm. I didn't realize the chill of the water until now but I'm shivering. My body takes over for my confused mind and curls into the predator's grasp, trying to get as much warmth from the human's rough garments as I can. I don't know what's come over me. I don't know where it's taking me. I don't care. I can't escape it, and if this thing kills me it was at least kind enough to be gentle.
The skies are so beautiful. I try and focus on them but all I can really see is the predator's mask. I can see the bottom of it's jaw, the taught muscles there. I dread what its face looks like in this moment under that mask. Its digits tighten on my shoulder and side in response to me curling into it, and absently I wonder how this predator is the same as the ones from days ago with their thundering bellows and ruthless firepower.
The apex thunders out of the field and I'm assaulted by new sights. There's a few dozen of them roving around a clearing by several vehicles.
I also spot an Exterminator's van, and my claws unsheathe. The predator winces and I realize I've nailed him with them, but he doesn't throw me down or bark at me. He sprints by the van without stopping, but I see several Tilfish locked inside and doomed to a terrible fate worse than being eaten.
"Ambulance!?" It barks sharply, out of breath. It skids to a stop beside one of the transports, clutching me firmly.
"Just left with the patient. Where the hell did this one come from?" An unmasked predator growled, eyes beady and looking over me. Mine made an odd jerking motion and continued.
"Get Doc."
"I will. What hospital are we calling?" The thought of a clinical space makes me flinch. White walls. White floors. Cold tiles. Needles. Beeping. Humming. Frying.
"None. Operational security."
The other predator screwed its face up and departed, and abruptly mine was sitting down on the back of one of the trucks. Gently I was plopped down on its lap, and I watched transfixed as it peeled its armor off, then its outer garment. There's an image of a veiled human on the back with its eyes closed, head craned down. Its hands are clasped together in thought, and the meaning of it goes over my head.
The predator is a lot smaller than I thought it was. It gently lifts me and set me in the garment, before it starts wiping me down with it. I'm too sore to fight it, and the cloth is exceptionally warm from the creature's body heat. It pulls me closer and holds me in a way that makes my chest hurt, and it looks out at an approaching predator. It rumbles softly.
"You're going to be okay."
My body relaxes despite my mind's warnings. I'm wrapped up in this garment it wore. I can't escape it. But it's warm. The material soaks up the water on my skin, and wipes away the grime and muck I've accumulated over the days. Slowly, my scales begin to shift again, bleeding back to my normal tan coloration.
"Did something finally bite you Sunshine? I haven't seen you run like that in- oh-kay." The approaching predator flinched when it got close and tensed up.
It wants to eat me. This one- Sunshine- it won't let it without a fight. Are they going to eat me? Sunshine won't. Right?
"I thought there was only one victim." The predator rumbled after a moment, creeping closer. I shrank into the material and took on it's color, only for a warm paw to settle on my arm.
"You're fine." Sunshine whispered. It looked up at the approaching predator and jerked its head awkwardly. "There is. Look at it. Do you see it too?"
Gently, it lifted my arm. I was too stiff to pull it back, not that I could've against its powerful grip. I was completely exposed to this other predator.
"Relax. Please." Sunshine whispered once more. The growl was soft, and I looked up at the mask above me. The grip on my arm was careful, I realized. I could pull away right now. Slowly, my scales lightened. The other predator leaned in closer and I flashed white and yellow briefly, but Sunshine propped me up a bit and started gently poking at sore parts of my body. My ribs. My neck. "Here. And... and here."
The other predator's eyes seemed to get bigger. Something deeper changed in its face. "Holy shit." It made to move forward and I reeled back, pressing myself further into Sunshine. The predator immediately froze and slunk back.
"He can help." Sunshine rumbled softly.
Oh dear. Oh dear.
It touched me. It's diminutive nails didn't rend into my scales as it touched my ribs, prodding them softly. Sunshine adjusted how it sat so that the other predator could have better access to me, and I couldn't help but focus on the skies again as it assessed what part of me it wanted.
Sunshine won't let it eat me.
I don't know where the thought came from, but it was firm. I believed it entirely. Even though Sunshine was a sapient predator, it wouldn't let it happen. Maybe it claimed me as its own already. I... I had doubts I would be eaten. The thoughts were there, but Sunshine had a perfect chance already. Unless it wanted to flaunt its catch first, which the Arxur did- but it was gentle. Sunshine was better than an Arxur.
"Malnourished, deep sores. Ulcers. There's bruising up and down the rib cage. Jesus- sorry."
"They're old. Persistent. Its feet."
"What about..." The predator got quiet. I felt my scales shift in worry as it gingerly lifted one of my legs. It remained quiet, but its face stretched further. "What happened?"
It was looking at me. Asking me. I shrank further into the fabric, but there was nowhere to go. The silence was unbearable, and I started trembling.
The silence continued.
"A runaway." Sunshine rumbled after forever. I didn't understand what that meant. My translator didn't pick it up quite right. Run-away? Like fleeing? Was that what these predators called their prey? No... no that didn't seem right. It was possible, but...
"Could have been kidnapped." Another word I didn't understand, but my translator worked on the other predator. Stealing a person by force? Using fear outside of the law? How did predators have such a word? "We need to get it to the hospital. Figure out what happened and how it ended up in this field."
NO NO NO NO NO
Sunshine's arms draped over me before I could escape, my attempt no better than a drunk Mazic trying to fit through a Venlil sized door. I couldn't stop the whine in my throat, but its soft digits down my back froze me. A subtle noise filtered out behind the mask, and it settled me back down in its garment. It picked up an edge lined with little metal teeth and draped it over me, blocking my sight from the other predator. I felt safe, suddenly. Sunshine's firm grip on my body didn't feel threatening. It felt like a promise, as it carefully pulled me against it's bulk. I was warm, despite my terror.
"Zuda will handle it. No hospitals. This stays with us."
"Sunshine," the other predator protested, "we need to figure out what happened!"
"Think, Doc." Sunshine growled, and this was no doubt a warning. I felt relief that the difference between the two growls was so obvious.
"What?"
"Think. Use your head."
There was a period of silence. "You don't... that can't be right." I didn't understand what conclusion it made.
"The injuries are uniform. Too clean to be anything else."
They can't know. How can they know?
"We need confirmation!"
"We already have it." Sunshine stated, and slowly the fabric was lifted off of my head. I blinked, and noticed that the other predator had changed a different shade.
That's odd. Are you predators like me?
That's terrifying. I'm not a threat. I'm me.
"It reacted to the van and mention of a hospital, Doc. Nobody outside the UN hears of this. Operational security."
It... does Sunshine know? How do they know?
"What the fuck is this planet, Sunshine?" The other predator lamented.
Sunshine didn't respond. He looked around at the surrounding encampment, and I realized it was shrinking. They were leaving. A few other predators were subtly watching as they worked, but I doubted they could hear the conversation with how quiet it was. I realize there's a few Venlil in their ranks, unbothered by their presence and even wearing garments similar to the predators around them.
A digit tapped the end of my snout and I flinched, looking up at Sunshine. It's paw retracted as the other predator withdrew a medical kit with a paw print on it and began to unclasp it. "You're safe. We're... we're going to help."
You know. You know what I am. And you're helping me anyway. Why are you helping me? I'm weak. I'm dangerous. But not to you. You're an apex. Is that why? Does your species stick together, unlike the Arxur? Do you uplift those around you, no matter if they're prey or dangerous? The Venlil are not afraid of you. You must not eat them. What do you eat? It has to be meat. But, it must be something that they can handle. Does what makes me dangerous fall away under your hierarchy? I hope it does. It doesn't seem real. I guess to you, what makes me a threat is meaningless.
I believe Sunshine. I really do. When the other predator comes forward with a healing gel, I surrender.
I am safe.

I hunt monsters for an international anomaly research center
Part 1
I’m just going to go out and say it. Monsters are real and I’m going to tell my stories about them:
First, Vampires. Vampires like humans come in many shapes and sizes, and unlike what some have stated they are relatively different from the stereotypical Dracula vampire. One of their primary differences is they could be more pretty. They’re not Twilight or Dracula-looking vampires but rather more closely resemble Nosferatu. A fully infected vampire is bald with no eyelashes, eyebrows, or hair atop the head, along with no other bodily hair. They also have much more prominent canines and begin to lose their other teeth making their speech very hard if not impossible to understand. Their eyes start to change and turn yellow resembling closer to that of a nocturnal animal rather than human eyes, and their faces often become more animalistic looking. Some individuals have even sprouted pointed ears.
Now there is a caveat to vampires and their symptoms. A vampire does not have to have all symptoms to be considered a vampire. The only universal changes are the teeth and eye changes. The rest depends entirely on the individual. Vampires can also vary due to the cure. Now people being turned into vampires cannot be cured, but a full vampire can be cured mentally. This is due to the fact that our brains deteriorate so quickly when we are turned that we’d be brain-dead if we were turned human again.
Now I should probably address their abilities as it seems pop culture has added many that aren’t true. First off vampires are not immortal. They actually live typically shorter lives due to the toll the disease can have on the body. Second, they are naturally more robust and faster than humans. However, this is due to a lack of restraint and they will often hurt themselves in these shows of apparent supernatural strength. Third, they do have sensitive skin that burns easily however they won’t burn to death in sunlight. Fourth, they cannot turn invisible in any manner although they are very stealthy. Fifth, they cannot disobey gravity in any manner. Sixth, the drinking of blood does indeed strengthen them to a great degree for a short time. Seventh, they don’t transform not in any form or manner. I’ve encountered many vampires in my time. Most vampires tend to slowly become feral the longer they are infected. To the point, they become forest creatures that are often mistaken as wendigos. Eighth and lastly they are invulnerable to a degree. They function similarly to Achilles; they are invincible except for one spot. This spot for vampires is always the chest right where the sternum is. If you can land a clean shot there you can kill a vampire.
My most recent encounter with a vampire was that of a vampire in Idaho. We’d been getting reports of many disappearances in Idaho that sounded suspiciously like vampire activity, so I was sent in to investigate this matter.
I loaded the railgun and checked all my gear. I had everything I needed. I looked over at the pilot and gave him a thumbs up then I strapped the backpack and duffel bag on. The doors to the plane on one side opened and I stood next to the opening at the plane. I gave one last nod to the pilot and then jumped. The wind tossed me around and I rocketed down to the forest below. If you had asked me just a year ago I would’ve been terrified but now nothing scared me. I’d seen so much worse things than heights. I kept my eyes on the forest below as I fell faster and faster getting closer and closer to the ground then. Pop! Www Wish! The parachute caught my fall yanking at my body. Then slowly I lowered the 100 feet separating me from the ground. Most would call me crazy for the stunts like that I pull, and maybe I am crazy to take a monster to hunt monsters after all. Maybe I just pull those stunts because some sick part of me wants to be afraid of the things I fight. I don’t really know I’m not really into character study anyways.
I unbuckled from the chute which was now tangled 20 feet up in a tree, and fell to the ground. I would’ve landed on my feet but a line got tangled flipping me and causing me to fall straight on my helmet with a loud Crack! After recovering I unclipped the bag and backpack and got everything set.
I strapped all the extra gear to my belt and vest then plugged the tube attached to my gun into the gas canister on my back. Then I checked the small gps I had on me. The cave was half a mile away through the fields. I switched on my night vision and I started jogging for the point. It really wasn’t far at all maybe a five-minute jog and I was there. It was a large rocky hole in the middle of a field. There was a tiny rough dirt road leading up to it with a small dirt lot around it. Parked in the lot was a very old tan Ford truck. Sticking out of the hole was an old rusty ladder with a cage around it. I walked over and looked down into the cave. There was probably a 30-foot drop into the large chamber. So I squeezed into the caged ladder and started making my way down. The space was cramped and the ladder was shaky, but I reached the bottom with little incident. The walls of the cave were covered in graffiti of all colors and small circles of rocks looking like makeshift fire pits littered the cave floor. Along with the rocks were beer bottles. They were of all brands, colors, and sizes and they were scattered around it as well.
I scanned the room and saw two tunnels leading in either direction. After a momentary pause to think I went for the larger and more traveled one. The tunnel quickly opened onto another large and very tall chamber although this one did not go to the surface. This chamber was also almost pitch black even for the night vision. I reached up to my helmet and switched the light on. Instantly the second chamber was flooded with light. This chamber had a large high ledge overlooking it and like the other was covered in graffiti. I walked through the chamber and into the tunnel once again. This section of the tunnel was large and long.
I walked along its sandy floors as the tunnel opened into a third chamber to the right of the chamber was a high ledge that looked like people had crawled up on it. I climbed it to see if anything was up there but just more graffiti. I looked around the rest of the chamber and saw another similar but much large ledge. It looked empty as well so I just kept going. The tunnel leading out was low but wide so I had to crouch down in order to go through. The tunnel took a tight turn to the right as the ceiling slowly and gradually got higher. The floor of this section was covered in lots of large sharp rocks and not flat and sandy like the rest. Slowly I made my way through this section until the tunnel was tall and normal again. I walked down it for a while only for it to get low and tight again. I squeed through an especially tall section into the smallest chamber so far. This chamber had a slight turn in it and once I made the turn I saw the first sign of the missing people.
Fresh cans sitting on rocks, a backpack leaning against the wall, an expensive camera is next to the backpack, and a few jackets and water bottles are set on the rocks. I started scanning the room to see where’d they gone. I saw two holes leading to the same place. They were about 2 ½ feet tall and 3 feet wide. That’s when I caught on to the sound just beyond the holes. It was faint but it sounded like a sucking-smacking type noise. I knew that sound I’d heard it a hundred times before. It was the sound of a vampire feasting.
I grabbed a tool from my belt that looked like a bulky glow stick and cracked it open. Blinding amounts of light erupted from it, so much so that my helmet immediately tinted. I threw the glowing stick into one of the holes and instantly screeches of pain and terror came from the room. Good, I thought. It must’ve hurt the thing. After a couple of seconds, it came crawling out of the other hole. The one I hadn’t thrown the stick through.
The creature was absolutely disgusting and horrifying to look at. This vampire looked like a crossbreed between a naked mole rat, a bat, and a person. Its eyes were yellow with slits for pupils. Its face was wrinkly and closely resembled that of a vampire bat. Its mouth bore four large fangs with additional smaller fangs. Its ears were pointed and much larger. The top of its head was bald and smooth just time the rest of the body. I saw its face was covered in blood as it looked up at me. The rest of its body was fairly normal besides some noticeably large claws on its five fingers.
It screeched with anger again when it looked up into my light and started scampering away the way I’d come. I grabbed another light stick and threw it where the vampire was going. It yelled in pain and terror and turned around back into my light. I could tell it was trying to make a decision, so I took the chance and shot at it. I hit it in the throat the large stake for a bullet bounced off and clambered on the ground. The vampire smiled and then rushed toward me. I almost took another shot but it was too fast.
It slammed into my legs toppling me to the ground. I heard the sound of ripping fabric and then quickly I threw myself atop the vampire trying to wrestle it to the ground. I tried but it was stronger than me and eventually threw me off. It backed away studying me then in a blink it dove for my throat its teeth sinking through my armor and barely piercing my flesh. I pulled my knife, shoved it off, and then made a stab at its chest. It pierced the skin but the thing scampered away so fast it didn’t kill it.
The light stick was starting to go dim and before I threw another the vampire started darting down the tunnel. I chased after it but it was faster than me. I knew that. My only hope was that this thing didn’t know how to climb up a ladder. I crawled through the tight sections and sprinted through the tunnel. Suddenly I entered one of the chambers. This was the one with the ledge on either side. I scanned my light on and around both ledges but it wasn’t there.
Just as I was about to walk into the second chamber I remembered something. It had a large ledge just above where I was about to walk in. I picked up a large rock and threw it into the chamber. I heard the vampire shuffle and almost jump off the ledge, but it seemed it realized before it was to jump. It hissed in frustration but stayed up there. I stood there trying to figure out what to do. Finally, I just walked into the cave backward so I’d be facing it when it jumped for me. Just as I thought it did, and I shot. The stake bullet pierced the vampire directly in the center of the chest, and it was slammed into the rocky face.
The stake bullet had pierced it in such a way the vampire was now pinned to the stone wall by it. Despite this tremendous injury, it yelled in pain and finally spokes its first words
“Mors tua tarda erit.” It sputtered out in a barely understandable voice.
It was Latin and it roughly translated to “your death will be slow.” Right after it said that it pushed itself off the stake breaking even more of its chest. Vampires didn’t die quickly or slowly this one would die soon I knew that but he’d put up a fight until he did.
He lunged at me slashing through my armor and tearing my arm open. He dove for my throat sinking his teeth in again. For a quick moment, I felt its fangs begin to suck the blood from my body before I grabbed my knife and started stabbing it in the stomach. Since I’d hit the mark it was now just as vulnerable as any human. It pulled away and I raised the gun and made two quick shots at its face.
The vampire collapsed backward dead. I hauled myself out of the cave and told my team over my phone the job was done. In just 5 minutes they had the whole investigation team out there. Turns out that thing had managed to drag 22 people past the small hole it had been in. All the corpses were identified and a quick cover story was made.
I had to take the antidote, but I was fine. This isn’t even the worst time I had with a vampire. This one was a walk in the park compared to some of the others I’ve had to deal with. But anyways I’m running out of time so I suppose I’ll tell you all more about that next time, and please tell me what kinda cryptids you’re wondering about because I guarantee I’ve probably fought it. Anyway over and out.

I hunt monsters for an international anomaly research center
Part 1
I’m just going to go out and say it. Monsters are real and I’m going to tell my stories about them:
First, Vampires. Vampires like humans come in many shapes and sizes, and unlike what some have stated they are relatively different from the stereotypical Dracula vampire. One of their primary differences is they could be more pretty. They’re not Twilight or Dracula-looking vampires but rather more closely resemble Nosferatu. A fully infected vampire is bald with no eyelashes, eyebrows, or hair atop the head, along with no other bodily hair. They also have much more prominent canines and begin to lose their other teeth making their speech very hard if not impossible to understand. Their eyes start to change and turn yellow resembling closer to that of a nocturnal animal rather than human eyes, and their faces often become more animalistic looking. Some individuals have even sprouted pointed ears.
Now there is a caveat to vampires and their symptoms. A vampire does not have to have all symptoms to be considered a vampire. The only universal changes are the teeth and eye changes. The rest depends entirely on the individual. Vampires can also vary due to the cure. Now people being turned into vampires cannot be cured, but a full vampire can be cured mentally. This is due to the fact that our brains deteriorate so quickly when we are turned that we’d be brain-dead if we were turned human again.
Now I should probably address their abilities as it seems pop culture has added many that aren’t true. First off vampires are not immortal. They actually live typically shorter lives due to the toll the disease can have on the body. Second, they are naturally more robust and faster than humans. However, this is due to a lack of restraint and they will often hurt themselves in these shows of apparent supernatural strength. Third, they do have sensitive skin that burns easily however they won’t burn to death in sunlight. Fourth, they cannot turn invisible in any manner although they are very stealthy. Fifth, they cannot disobey gravity in any manner. Sixth, the drinking of blood does indeed strengthen them to a great degree for a short time. Seventh, they don’t transform not in any form or manner. I’ve encountered many vampires in my time. Most vampires tend to slowly become feral the longer they are infected. To the point, they become forest creatures that are often mistaken as wendigos. Eighth and lastly they are invulnerable to a degree. They function similarly to Achilles; they are invincible except for one spot. This spot for vampires is always the chest right where the sternum is. If you can land a clean shot there you can kill a vampire.
My most recent encounter with a vampire was that of a vampire in Idaho. We’d been getting reports of many disappearances in Idaho that sounded suspiciously like vampire activity, so I was sent in to investigate this matter.
I loaded the railgun and checked all my gear. I had everything I needed. I looked over at the pilot and gave him a thumbs up then I strapped the backpack and duffel bag on. The doors to the plane on one side opened and I stood next to the opening at the plane. I gave one last nod to the pilot and then jumped. The wind tossed me around and I rocketed down to the forest below. If you had asked me just a year ago I would’ve been terrified but now nothing scared me. I’d seen so much worse things than heights. I kept my eyes on the forest below as I fell faster and faster getting closer and closer to the ground then. Pop! Www Wish! The parachute caught my fall yanking at my body. Then slowly I lowered the 100 feet separating me from the ground. Most would call me crazy for the stunts like that I pull, and maybe I am crazy to take a monster to hunt monsters after all. Maybe I just pull those stunts because some sick part of me wants to be afraid of the things I fight. I don’t really know I’m not really into character study anyways.
I unbuckled from the chute which was now tangled 20 feet up in a tree, and fell to the ground. I would’ve landed on my feet but a line got tangled flipping me and causing me to fall straight on my helmet with a loud Crack! After recovering I unclipped the bag and backpack and got everything set.
I strapped all the extra gear to my belt and vest then plugged the tube attached to my gun into the gas canister on my back. Then I checked the small gps I had on me. The cave was half a mile away through the fields. I switched on my night vision and I started jogging for the point. It really wasn’t far at all maybe a five-minute jog and I was there. It was a large rocky hole in the middle of a field. There was a tiny rough dirt road leading up to it with a small dirt lot around it. Parked in the lot was a very old tan Ford truck. Sticking out of the hole was an old rusty ladder with a cage around it. I walked over and looked down into the cave. There was probably a 30-foot drop into the large chamber. So I squeezed into the caged ladder and started making my way down. The space was cramped and the ladder was shaky, but I reached the bottom with little incident. The walls of the cave were covered in graffiti of all colors and small circles of rocks looking like makeshift fire pits littered the cave floor. Along with the rocks were beer bottles. They were of all brands, colors, and sizes and they were scattered around it as well.
I scanned the room and saw two tunnels leading in either direction. After a momentary pause to think I went for the larger and more traveled one. The tunnel quickly opened onto another large and very tall chamber although this one did not go to the surface. This chamber was also almost pitch black even for the night vision. I reached up to my helmet and switched the light on. Instantly the second chamber was flooded with light. This chamber had a large high ledge overlooking it and like the other was covered in graffiti. I walked through the chamber and into the tunnel once again. This section of the tunnel was large and long.
I walked along its sandy floors as the tunnel opened into a third chamber to the right of the chamber was a high ledge that looked like people had crawled up on it. I climbed it to see if anything was up there but just more graffiti. I looked around the rest of the chamber and saw another similar but much large ledge. It looked empty as well so I just kept going. The tunnel leading out was low but wide so I had to crouch down in order to go through. The tunnel took a tight turn to the right as the ceiling slowly and gradually got higher. The floor of this section was covered in lots of large sharp rocks and not flat and sandy like the rest. Slowly I made my way through this section until the tunnel was tall and normal again. I walked down it for a while only for it to get low and tight again. I squeed through an especially tall section into the smallest chamber so far. This chamber had a slight turn in it and once I made the turn I saw the first sign of the missing people.
Fresh cans sitting on rocks, a backpack leaning against the wall, an expensive camera is next to the backpack, and a few jackets and water bottles are set on the rocks. I started scanning the room to see where’d they gone. I saw two holes leading to the same place. They were about 2 ½ feet tall and 3 feet wide. That’s when I caught on to the sound just beyond the holes. It was faint but it sounded like a sucking-smacking type noise. I knew that sound I’d heard it a hundred times before. It was the sound of a vampire feasting.
I grabbed a tool from my belt that looked like a bulky glow stick and cracked it open. Blinding amounts of light erupted from it, so much so that my helmet immediately tinted. I threw the glowing stick into one of the holes and instantly screeches of pain and terror came from the room. Good, I thought. It must’ve hurt the thing. After a couple of seconds, it came crawling out of the other hole. The one I hadn’t thrown the stick through.
The creature was absolutely disgusting and horrifying to look at. This vampire looked like a crossbreed between a naked mole rat, a bat, and a person. Its eyes were yellow with slits for pupils. Its face was wrinkly and closely resembled that of a vampire bat. Its mouth bore four large fangs with additional smaller fangs. Its ears were pointed and much larger. The top of its head was bald and smooth just time the rest of the body. I saw its face was covered in blood as it looked up at me. The rest of its body was fairly normal besides some noticeably large claws on its five fingers.
It screeched with anger again when it looked up into my light and started scampering away the way I’d come. I grabbed another light stick and threw it where the vampire was going. It yelled in pain and terror and turned around back into my light. I could tell it was trying to make a decision, so I took the chance and shot at it. I hit it in the throat the large stake for a bullet bounced off and clambered on the ground. The vampire smiled and then rushed toward me. I almost took another shot but it was too fast.
It slammed into my legs toppling me to the ground. I heard the sound of ripping fabric and then quickly I threw myself atop the vampire trying to wrestle it to the ground. I tried but it was stronger than me and eventually threw me off. It backed away studying me then in a blink it dove for my throat its teeth sinking through my armor and barely piercing my flesh. I pulled my knife, shoved it off, and then made a stab at its chest. It pierced the skin but the thing scampered away so fast it didn’t kill it.
The light stick was starting to go dim and before I threw another the vampire started darting down the tunnel. I chased after it but it was faster than me. I knew that. My only hope was that this thing didn’t know how to climb up a ladder. I crawled through the tight sections and sprinted through the tunnel. Suddenly I entered one of the chambers. This was the one with the ledge on either side. I scanned my light on and around both ledges but it wasn’t there.
Just as I was about to walk into the second chamber I remembered something. It had a large ledge just above where I was about to walk in. I picked up a large rock and threw it into the chamber. I heard the vampire shuffle and almost jump off the ledge, but it seemed it realized before it was to jump. It hissed in frustration but stayed up there. I stood there trying to figure out what to do. Finally, I just walked into the cave backward so I’d be facing it when it jumped for me. Just as I thought it did, and I shot. The stake bullet pierced the vampire directly in the center of the chest, and it was slammed into the rocky face.
The stake bullet had pierced it in such a way the vampire was now pinned to the stone wall by it. Despite this tremendous injury, it yelled in pain and finally spokes its first words
“Mors tua tarda erit.” It sputtered out in a barely understandable voice.
It was Latin and it roughly translated to “your death will be slow.” Right after it said that it pushed itself off the stake breaking even more of its chest. Vampires didn’t die quickly or slowly this one would die soon I knew that but he’d put up a fight until he did.
He lunged at me slashing through my armor and tearing my arm open. He dove for my throat sinking his teeth in again. For a quick moment, I felt its fangs begin to suck the blood from my body before I grabbed my knife and started stabbing it in the stomach. Since I’d hit the mark it was now just as vulnerable as any human. It pulled away and I raised the gun and made two quick shots at its face.
The vampire collapsed backward dead. I hauled myself out of the cave and told my team over my phone the job was done. In just 5 minutes they had the whole investigation team out there. Turns out that thing had managed to drag 22 people past the small hole it had been in. All the corpses were identified and a quick cover story was made.
I had to take the antidote, but I was fine. This isn’t even the worst time I had with a vampire. This one was a walk in the park compared to some of the others I’ve had to deal with. But anyways I’m running out of time so I suppose I’ll tell you all more about that next time, and please tell me what kinda cryptids you’re wondering about because I guarantee I’ve probably fought it. Anyway over and out.

I hunt monsters for an international anomaly research center
Part 1
I’m just going to go out and say it. Monsters are real and I’m going to tell my stories about them:
First, Vampires. Vampires like humans come in many shapes and sizes, and unlike what some have stated they are relatively different from the stereotypical Dracula vampire. One of their primary differences is they are not pretty. They’re not Twilight or Dracula-looking vampires but rather more closely resemble Nosferatu. A fully infected vampire is bald with no eyelashes, eyebrows, or hair atop the head, along with no other bodily hair. They also have much more prominent canines and begin to lose their other teeth making their speech very hard if not impossible to understand. Their eyes start to change and turn yellow resembling closer to that of a nocturnal animal rather than human eyes, and their faces often become more animalistic looking. Some individuals have even sprouted pointed ears.
Now there is a caveat to vampires and their symptoms. A vampire does not have to have all the visual symptoms to be considered a vampire. The only universal changes are the teeth and eye changes. The rest depends entirely on the individual. Vampires can also vary due to the cure. Now people being turned into vampires cannot be cured, but a full vampire can be cured mentally. This is due to the fact that our brains deteriorate so quickly when we are turned that we’d be brain-dead if we were turned human again.
Now I should probably address their abilities as it seems pop culture has added many that aren’t true. First off vampires are not immortal. They actually live typically shorter lives due to the toll the disease can have on the body. Second, they are naturally more robust and faster than humans. However, this is due to a lack of restraint and they will often hurt themselves in these shows of apparent supernatural strength. Third, they do have sensitive skin that burns easily however they won’t burn to death in sunlight. Fourth, they cannot turn invisible in any manner although they are very stealthy. Fifth, they cannot disobey gravity in any manner. Sixth, the drinking of blood does indeed strengthen them to a great degree for a short time. Seventh, they don’t transform not in any form or manner. I’ve encountered many vampires in my time. Most vampires tend to slowly become feral the longer they are infected. To the point, they become forest creatures that are often mistaken as wendigos. Eighth and lastly they are invulnerable to a degree. They function similarly to Achilles; they are invincible except for one spot. This spot for vampires is always the chest right where the sternum is. If you can land a clean shot there you can kill a vampire.
My most recent encounter with a vampire was that of a vampire in Idaho. We’d been getting reports of many disappearances in Idaho that sounded suspiciously like vampire activity, so I was sent in to investigate this matter.
I loaded the railgun and checked all my gear. I had everything I needed. I looked over at the pilot and gave him a thumbs up then I strapped the backpack and duffel bag on. The doors to the plane on one side opened and I stood next to the opening at the plane. I gave one last nod to the pilot and then jumped. The wind tossed me around and I rocketed down to the forest below. If you had asked me just a year ago I would’ve been terrified but now nothing scared me. I’d seen so much worse things than heights. I kept my eyes on the forest below as I fell faster and faster getting closer and closer to the ground then. Pop! Www Wish! The parachute caught my fall yanking at my body. Then slowly I lowered the 100 feet separating me from the ground. Most would call me crazy for the stunts like that I pull, and maybe I am crazy to take a monster to hunt monsters after all. Maybe I just pull those stunts because some sick part of me wants to be afraid of the things I fight. I don’t really know I’m not really into character study anyways.
I unbuckled from the chute which was now tangled 20 feet up in a tree, and fell to the ground. I would’ve landed on my feet but a line got tangled flipping me and causing me to fall straight on my helmet with a loud Crack! After recovering I unclipped the bag and backpack and got everything set.
I strapped all the extra gear to my belt and vest then plugged the tube attached to my gun into the gas canister on my back. Then I checked the small gps I had on me. The cave was half a mile away through the fields. I switched on my night vision and I started jogging for the point. It really wasn’t far at all maybe a five-minute jog and I was there. It was a large rocky hole in the middle of a field. There was a tiny rough dirt road leading up to it with a small dirt lot around it. Parked in the lot was a very old tan Ford truck. Sticking out of the hole was an old rusty ladder with a cage around it. I walked over and looked down into the cave. There was probably a 30-foot drop into the large chamber. So I squeezed into the caged ladder and started making my way down. The space was cramped and the ladder was shaky, but I reached the bottom with little incident. The walls of the cave were covered in graffiti of all colors and small circles of rocks looking like makeshift fire pits littered the cave floor. Along with the rocks were beer bottles. They were of all brands, colors, and sizes and they were scattered around it as well.
I scanned the room and saw two tunnels leading in either direction. After a momentary pause to think I went for the larger and more traveled one. The tunnel quickly opened onto another large and very tall chamber although this one did not go to the surface. This chamber was also almost pitch black even for the night vision. I reached up to my helmet and switched the light on. Instantly the second chamber was flooded with light. This chamber had a large high ledge overlooking it and like the other was covered in graffiti. I walked through the chamber and into the tunnel once again. This section of the tunnel was large and long.
I walked along its sandy floors as the tunnel opened into a third chamber to the right of the chamber was a high ledge that looked like people had crawled up on it. I climbed it to see if anything was up there but just more graffiti. I looked around the rest of the chamber and saw another similar but much large ledge. It looked empty as well so I just kept going. The tunnel leading out was low but wide so I had to crouch down in order to go through. The tunnel took a tight turn to the right as the ceiling slowly and gradually got higher. The floor of this section was covered in lots of large sharp rocks and not flat and sandy like the rest. Slowly I made my way through this section until the tunnel was tall and normal again. I walked down it for a while only for it to get low and tight again. I squeed through an especially tall section into the smallest chamber so far. This chamber had a slight turn in it and once I made the turn I saw the first sign of the missing people.
Fresh cans sitting on rocks, a backpack leaning against the wall, an expensive camera is next to the backpack, and a few jackets and water bottles are set on the rocks. I started scanning the room to see where’d they gone. I saw two holes leading to the same place. They were about 2 ½ feet tall and 3 feet wide. That’s when I caught on to the sound just beyond the holes. It was faint but it sounded like a sucking-smacking type noise. I knew that sound I’d heard it a hundred times before. It was the sound of a vampire feasting.
I grabbed a tool from my belt that looked like a bulky glow stick and cracked it open. Blinding amounts of light erupted from it, so much so that my helmet immediately tinted. I threw the glowing stick into one of the holes and instantly screeches of pain and terror came from the room. Good, I thought. It must’ve hurt the thing. After a couple of seconds, it came crawling out of the other hole. The one I hadn’t thrown the stick through.
The creature was absolutely disgusting and horrifying to look at. This vampire looked like a crossbreed between a naked mole rat, a bat, and a person. Its eyes were yellow with slits for pupils. Its face was wrinkly and closely resembled that of a vampire bat. Its mouth bore four large fangs with additional smaller fangs. Its ears were pointed and much larger. The top of its head was bald and smooth just time the rest of the body. I saw its face was covered in blood as it looked up at me. The rest of its body was fairly normal besides some noticeably large claws on its five fingers.
It screeched with anger again when it looked up into my light and started scampering away the way I’d come. I grabbed another light stick and threw it where the vampire was going. It yelled in pain and terror and turned around back into my light. I could tell it was trying to make a decision, so I took the chance and shot at it. I hit it in the throat the large stake for a bullet bounced off and clambered on the ground. The vampire smiled and then rushed toward me. I almost took another shot but it was too fast.
It slammed into my legs toppling me to the ground. I heard the sound of ripping fabric and then quickly I threw myself atop the vampire trying to wrestle it to the ground. I tried but it was stronger than me and eventually threw me off. It backed away studying me then in a blink it dove for my throat its teeth sinking through my armor and barely piercing my flesh. I pulled my knife, shoved it off, and then made a stab at its chest. It pierced the skin but the thing scampered away so fast it didn’t kill it.
The light stick was starting to go dim and before I threw another the vampire started darting down the tunnel. I chased after it but it was faster than me. I knew that. My only hope was that this thing didn’t know how to climb up a ladder. I crawled through the tight sections and sprinted through the tunnel. Suddenly I entered one of the chambers. This was the one with the ledge on either side. I scanned my light on and around both ledges but it wasn’t there.
Just as I was about to walk into the second chamber I remembered something. It had a large ledge just above where I was about to walk in. I picked up a large rock and threw it into the chamber. I heard the vampire shuffle and almost jump off the ledge, but it seemed it realized before it was to jump. It hissed in frustration but stayed up there. I stood there trying to figure out what to do. Finally, I just walked into the cave backward so I’d be facing it when it jumped for me. Just as I thought it did, and I shot. The stake bullet pierced the vampire directly in the center of the chest, and it was slammed into the rocky face.
The stake bullet had pierced it in such a way the vampire was now pinned to the stone wall by it. Despite this tremendous injury, it yelled in pain and finally spokes its first words
“Mors tua tarda erit.” It sputtered out in a barely understandable voice.
It was Latin and it roughly translated to “your death will be slow.” Right after it said that it pushed itself off the stake breaking even more of its chest. Vampires didn’t die quickly or slowly this one would die soon I knew that but he’d put up a fight until he did.
He lunged at me slashing through my armor and tearing my arm open. He dove for my throat sinking his teeth in again. For a quick moment, I felt its fangs begin to suck the blood from my body before I grabbed my knife and started stabbing it in the stomach. Since I’d hit the mark it was now just as vulnerable as any human. It pulled away and I raised the gun and made two quick shots at its face.
The vampire collapsed backward dead. I hauled myself out of the cave and told my team the job was done over the phone. In just 5 minutes they had the whole investigation team out there. Turns out that thing had managed to drag 22 people past the small hole it had been in. All the corpses were identified and a quick cover story was made.
I had to take the antidote, but I was fine. This isn’t even the worst time I had with a vampire. This one was a walk in the park compared to some of the others I’ve had to deal with. But anyways I’m running out of time so I suppose I’ll tell you all more about that next time, and please tell me what kinda cryptids you’re wondering about because I guarantee I’ve probably fought it. Anyway over and out.