~Romans 9~ Romans 9 starts off with the title “God’s selection of Israel”. The chapter starts off with Paul saying “With Christ as my witness, I speak with utter truthfulness. My conscience and the Holy Spirit confirm it. My heart is filled with bitter sorrow and unending grief for my people, my Jewish brothers and sisters. I would be willing to be forever cursed—cut off from Christ!—if that would save them.” 

 As you may know, the majority of the Jewish people rejected Jesus Christ and Paul (who was a Jew) is expressing his sadness because his people rejected Jesus. This is a normal feeling that many Christians have felt for their people. Christian Zionists may use this to support Israel but this is simply Paul showing his sadness about how his people rejected Jesus, Paul didn’t feel bad for the Jews because they are “chosen people”, he felt bad because these are his people. Many Arab Christians feel bad because the majority of their people aren’t saved. This doesn’t mean they think Arabs are more important, they just feel bad for their people. The people who share the same culture as them. “They are the people of Israel, chosen to be God’s adopted children. God revealed his glory to them. He made covenants with them and gave them his law. He gave them the privilege of worshiping him and receiving his wonderful promises. Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob are their ancestors, and Christ himself was an Israelite as far as his human nature is concerned. And he is God, the one who rules over everything and is worthy of eternal praise! Amen.” 

 Christian Zionists using this to defend their pro-Israel agenda is a perfect example of Eisegesis. Eisegesis is the action of interpreting books in a way that fits *your own agenda*. Eisegesis has been used many times throughout history, White Christians used Eisegesis to oppress both the Blacks and the Native Americans, Eisegesis has been used by Christians to silence and oppress women, Eisegesis has even been used by characters in the Bible as well. When Jesus was fasting, Satan came to tempt him. “Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted there by the devil. For forty days and forty nights he fasted and became very hungry. During that time the devil came and said to him, ‘If you are the Son of God, tell these stones to become loaves of bread.’ But Jesus told him, ‘No! The Scriptures say, ‘People do not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.’ Then the devil took him to the holy city, Jerusalem, to the highest point of the Temple, and said, ‘If you are the Son of God, jump off! For the Scriptures say, ‘He will order his angels to protect you. And they will hold you up with their hands so you won’t even hurt your foot on a stone.’ Jesus responded, ‘The Scriptures also say, ‘You must not test the Lord your God.’’ Next the devil took him to the peak of a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their glory. ‘I will give it all to you,’ he said, ‘if you will kneel down and worship me.’ ‘Get out of here, Satan,’ Jesus told him. ‘For the Scriptures say, ‘You must worship the Lord your God and serve only him.’ ‘ Then the devil went away, and angels came and took care of Jesus.” 

 As you can see, Satan kept on using parts of scripture to convince Jesus to give in to temptation. Jesus called Satan out for his Eisegesis and did not give into temptation. When looking the Romans passage we just looked at, we need to look at what was said next: “Well then, has God failed to fulfill his promise to Israel? No, for not all who are born into the nation of Israel are truly members of God’s people! Being descendants of Abraham doesn’t make them truly Abraham’s children. For the Scriptures say, ‘Isaac is the son through whom your descendants will be counted,’ though Abraham had other children, too. This means that Abraham’s physical descendants are not necessarily children of God. Only the children of the promise are considered to be Abraham’s children.” 

 So, God has fulfilled his promise to Israel and not all who are born into the nation of Israel are truly members of God’s people. It does mention that “Isaac is the son through whom your descendants will be counted” and right after mentions that Abraham had other children too. What does this mean? That not all of Abraham’s children are children of God, only the children of the promise. A Christian Zionist could argue that this is implying that the descendants of Isaac are the children of the promise because “Isaac is the one through whom your descendants will be counted” and that not all of Abraham’s physical descendants are children of God. This would be a flawed argument as it also says in this passage that not all of those born into the nation of Israel are members of God’s people. So not all of those who are from the nation of Israel are God’s people, only the children of the promise. So who are the children of the promise? If it’s not all of the children of Abraham and it’s not all of the nation of Israel, who are the children of the promise? The answer is, the followers, Jew or Gentile. Doesn’t matter what you race, nationality or ethnicity is, you can still be a child of the promise. To prove this, we need to go back to Galatians 3:23-29 “Before the way of faith in Christ was available to us, we were placed under guard by the law. We were kept in protective custody, so to speak, until the way of faith was revealed. Let me put it another way. The law was our guardian until Christ came; it protected us until we could be made right with God through faith. And now that the way of faith has come, we no longer need the law as our guardian. For you are all children of God through faith in Christ Jesus. And all who have been united with Christ in baptism have put on Christ, like putting on new clothes. There is no longer Jew or Gentile, slave or free, male and female. For you are all one in Christ Jesus. And now that you belong to Christ, you are the true children of Abraham. You are his heirs, and God’s promise to Abraham belongs to you.” So the Christians are the true children of Abraham and they inherit the promise. So the children of the promise are truly members of God’s people. Let’s continue to look at Romans. “For God had promised, ‘I will return about this time next year, and Sarah will have a son.’ This son was our ancestor Isaac. When he married Rebekah, she gave birth to twins. But before they were born, before they had done anything good or bad, she received a message from God. (This message shows that God chooses people according to his own purposes; he calls people, but not according to their good or bad works.) She was told, ‘Your older son will serve your younger son.’ In the words of the Scriptures, ‘I loved Jacob, but I rejected Esau.’ Are we saying, then, that God was unfair? Of course not! For God said to Moses, ‘I will show mercy to anyone I choose, and I will show compassion to anyone I choose.’ So it is God who decides to show mercy. We can neither choose it nor work for it.” 

 Christian Zionists can use this to defend their “Jews are still the chosen people” belief. A Christian Zionist could say “what’s wrong with Jews being the chosen people? Doesn’t it say that God chooses people according to his own purposes?” God does choose people according to his own purposes and God did choose the Jews according to his own purposes. In the Old Testament, God guided the Jews and made promises to them and in the New Testament, these promises were fulfilled with the coming of Jesus Christ who came from the Jewish people and shared the truth to both Jews and Gentiles. And now, both Jews and Gentiles can become chosen by becoming believers. All these promises have been fulfilled, the Israeli occupation of Palestine, the oppression and the ethnic cleansing of Palestinians, the destruction of the beautiful country of Palestine is not something God supports. The next few passages in Romans 9:17-23 is about how God shows his mercy to people. Romans 9:24-29 talks more about Jews and Gentiles: “And we are among those whom he selected, both from the Jews and from the Gentiles. Concerning the Gentiles, God says in the prophecy of Hosea, ‘Those who were not my people, I will now call my people. And I will love those whom I did not love before.’ And, ‘Then, at the place where they were told, ‘You are not my people,’ there they will be called ‘children of the living God.’’ And concerning Israel, Isaiah the prophet cried out, ‘Though the people of Israel are as numerous as the sand of the seashore, only a remnant will be saved. For the Lord will carry out his sentence upon the earth quickly and with finality.’ And Isaiah said the same thing in another place: ‘If the Lord of Heaven’s Armies had not spared a few of our children, we would have been wiped out like Sodom, destroyed like Gomorrah.’” Prophecies in the Old Testament, the Jewish scriptures, talk about how Gentiles will become God’s people. So when talking about prophecies in the Old Testament about Israel, we must acknowledge that the Old Testament has prophecies about Gentiles becoming the chosen people of God. The reason only a remnant of the Jews shall be saved is because the majority of the Jews rejected Jesus. This shows how God always had a plan to bring both Jew and Gentile one in Christ. After this, Romans 9 moves on to a new section called “Israel’s unbelief”. In this section, it shows how following the law doesn’t make you right with God and only faith can make you right with God. “What does all this mean? Even though the Gentiles were not trying to follow God’s standards, they were made right with God. And it was by faith that this took place. But the people of Israel, who tried so hard to get right with God by keeping the law, never succeeded. Why not? Because they were trying to get right with God by keeping the law instead of by trusting in him. They stumbled over the great rock in their path. God warned them of this in the Scriptures when he said, ‘I am placing a stone in Jerusalem that makes people stumble, a rock that makes them fall. But anyone who trusts in him will never be disgraced.’” 

 Following the law doesn’t make you a true member of God’s people, faith does. That’s why God chose Abraham, not because of his works but because of his faith. That’s why Jesus came, so people could be saved by faith and not by works. After this passage, Romans 9 finishes and we then turn the page to Romans 10. ~Romans 10~ We open Romans 10 with Paul talking about how the Jews have a love for God but have a “misdirected zeal” as Paul put it. “Dear brothers and sisters, the longing of my heart and my prayer to God is for the people of Israel to be saved. I know what enthusiasm they have for God, but it is misdirected zeal. For they don’t understand God’s way of making people right with himself. Refusing to accept God’s way, they cling to their own way of getting right with God by trying to keep the law. For Christ has already accomplished the purpose for which the law was given. As a result, all who believe in him are made right with God.” 

 The Jewish people do indeed want to follow God but in this passage of the Bible, the Jews have been misdirected on how exactly to follow God. Christian Zionists could say that since Paul wants Israel to be saved, that could somehow support their pro-Israel agenda when in reality, Paul is just saying how bad he feels for the people of Israel and how they rejected God. It says “For Christ has already accomplished the purpose for which the law was given. As a result, all who believe in him are made right with God”. Jesus came so we could be made right with God, Jew or Gentile. Romans 10 moves on to a new section called “Salvation is for everyone”, and notice how it says everyone and not just the Jews. In this New section, it says ‘If you openly declare that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is by believing in your heart that you are made right with God, and it is by openly declaring your faith that you are saved. As the Scriptures tell us, ‘Anyone who trusts in him will never be disgraced.’ Jew and Gentile are the same in this respect. They have the same Lord, who gives generously to all who call on him. For ‘Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.’” 

 As I said, the New Testament makes it crystal clear that being a Jew doesn’t automatically make you right with God, neither does it make you chosen by God. Neither your works nor your ethnicity can make you right with God, only faith. Despite this, Christian Zionists continue to support Israel, the oppressor, and stand against Palestine, the oppressed. This is also a contradiction with scripture because in the New Testament, we see Jesus standing up for the oppressed. “But how can they call on him to save them unless they believe in him? And how can they believe in him if they have never heard about him? And how can they hear about him unless someone tells them? And how will anyone go and tell them without being sent? That is why the Scriptures say, ‘How beautiful are the feet of messengers who bring good news!’ But not everyone welcomes the Good News, for Isaiah the prophet said, ‘Lord, who has believed our message?’ So faith comes from hearing, that is, hearing the Good News about Christ. But I ask, have the people of Israel actually heard the message? Yes, they have: ‘The message has gone throughout the earth, and the words to all the world.’ But I ask, did the people of Israel really understand? Yes, they did, for even in the time of Moses, God said, ‘I will rouse your jealousy through people who are not even a nation. I will provoke your anger through the foolish Gentiles.’ And later Isaiah spoke boldly for God, saying, ‘I was found by people who were not looking for me. I showed myself to those who were not asking for me.’ But regarding Israel, God said, ‘All day long I opened my arms to them, but they were disobedient and rebellious.’” 

 Israel rebelled and to this day, God is still trying to save them because God remains faithful. In fact, there is no human being on earth that God is not trying to bring to faith, not a single human being. Jew or Gentile. Israeli or Palestinian. Greek or Turkish. Armenian or Azerbaijani. Indian or Pakistani. North Sudanese or South Sudanese. Ethiopian or Eritrean. Saudi or Yemeni. Any race, nationality or ethnicity on earth, God is trying to save all of them and God cares for all of them. God loves everyone. After this, the book of Romans goes on to a new chapter, Romans 11. This chapter starts off with the title “God’s mercy on Israel”. This chapter is probably most used by Christian Zionists to support their agenda. “I ask, then, has God rejected his own people, the nation of Israel? Of course not! I myself am an Israelite, a descendant of Abraham and a member of the tribe of Benjamin. No, God has not rejected his own people, whom he chose from the very beginning. Do you realize what the Scriptures say about this? Elijah the prophet complained to God about the people of Israel and said, ‘Lord, they have killed your prophets and torn down your altars. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me, too.’ And do you remember God’s reply? He said, ‘No, I have 7,000 others who have never bowed down to Baal!’” 

 After all we have read, about how God accepts Jew and Gentile and how salvation is for everyone, Romans 11:1-4 comes up, trying to tell us that God still cares for the people of Israel and has not rejected them. When it says “No, God has not rejected his own people, whom he chose from the very beginning.” It is simply saying that the Israelites were the first people chosen (“chosen from the very beginning”) and God has not rejected the first people who followed and worshipped God. Notice how it does not say, “God has not rejected the people of Israel because they are still chosen”, it says “God has not rejected his own people, whom he chose from the very beginning.” Meaning that God hasn’t abandoned the first people who accepted him even though they rejected him. In the Greek translation, “οὐκ ἀπώσατο ὁ Θεὸς τὸν λαὸν αὐτοῦ ὃν προέγνω.” Means “God did not forsake his people before me” and it refers to the people of Israel as “his people” because they were the first people to come to faith, the first people of God. They aren’t the only people of God and they aren’t the people who are chosen above others now, they are just the first people to come to faith. This passage of the Bible is trying to clarify that God did not abandon the Israelites or reject them but just because God didn’t reject them doesn’t mean they are chosen above anybody else. Jews were the first people of God, they aren’t the only people of God and since there are other people of God who aren’t Israeli, that means all people of God, Jew or Gentile are chosen. “It is the same today, for a few of the people of Israel have remained faithful because of God’s grace—his undeserved kindness in choosing them. And since it is through God’s kindness, then it is not by their good works. For in that case, God’s grace would not be what it really is—free and undeserved. So this is the situation: Most of the people of Israel have not found the favor of God they are looking for so earnestly. A few have—the ones God has chosen—but the hearts of the rest were hardened. As the Scriptures say, ‘God has put them into a deep sleep. To this day he has shut their eyes so they do not see, and closed their ears so they do not hear.’ Likewise, David said, ‘Let their bountiful table become a snare, a trap that makes them think all is well. Let their blessings cause them to stumble, and let them get what they deserve. Let their eyes go blind so they cannot see, and let their backs be bent forever.’ Did God’s people stumble and fall beyond recovery? Of course not! They were disobedient, so God made salvation available to the Gentiles. But he wanted his own people to become jealous and claim it for themselves. Now if the Gentiles were enriched because the people of Israel turned down God’s offer of salvation, think how much greater a blessing the world will share when they finally accept it. I am saying all this especially for you Gentiles. God has appointed me as the apostle to the Gentiles. I stress this, for I want somehow to make the people of Israel jealous of what you Gentiles have, so I might save some of them. For since their rejection meant that God offered salvation to the rest of the world, their acceptance will be even more wonderful. It will be life for those who were dead! And since Abraham and the other patriarchs were holy, their descendants will also be holy—just as the entire batch of dough is holy because the portion given as an offering is holy. For if the roots of the tree are holy, the branches will be, too. But some of these branches from Abraham’s tree—some of the people of Israel—have been broken off. And you Gentiles, who were branches from a wild olive tree, have been grafted in. So now you also receive the blessing God has promised Abraham and his children, sharing in the rich nourishment from the root of God’s special olive tree. But you must not brag about being grafted in to replace the branches that were broken off. You are just a branch, not the root. ‘Well,’ you may say, ‘those branches were broken off to make room for me.’ Yes, but remember—those branches were broken off because they didn’t believe in Christ, and you are there because you do believe. So don’t think highly of yourself, but fear what could happen.” 

 The majority of the Israelites rejected Jesus and only a small amount of the Israelites actually accepted Jesus. The ones that didn’t accept Jesus were broken off from Abraham’s tree and the Gentiles who accepted Jesus replaced them. The reason Paul wants to make the Jews jealous was because Paul was a Jew who cares for his people and since the Gentiles were accepting Jesus and receiving all of God’s gifts, Paul hoped that the Jews would see this, become jealous and accept Jesus as well. We Gentiles are warned not to brag about we replaced the Jews who haven’t accepted Jesus (yet). This is not to say that Gentiles replaced the Jews, only the Jewish and Gentile believers are allowed to be part of Abraham’s tree. It’s just that the majority of Jews haven’t accepted Jesus and therefore, were cut off from Abraham’s tree, not because they were Jewish but because they didn’t accept Jesus. To prove this, let’s look at the next part of Romans 11. “For if God did not spare the original branches, he won’t spare you either. Notice how God is both kind and severe. He is severe toward those who disobeyed, but kind to you if you continue to trust in his kindness. But if you stop trusting, you also will be cut off. And if the people of Israel turn from their unbelief, they will be grafted in again, for God has the power to graft them back into the tree. You, by nature, were a branch cut from a wild olive tree. So if God was willing to do something contrary to nature by grafting you into his cultivated tree, he will be far more eager to graft the original branches back into the tree where they belong.” 

 God will still accept the Jewish people and put them back on the tree of Abraham as he put us (the Gentiles believers and the Jewish believers) on the tree of Abraham. And even the Gentile unbelievers, if they were to accept Jesus, they would be grafted into the tree of Abraham. Any unbeliever, Jew or Gentile, can become a believer and be grafted into the tree of Abraham. Romans 11 moves on to “God’s mercy is for everyone”, notice how it says everyone and not just the Jews. “I want you to understand this mystery, dear brothers and sisters, so that you will not feel proud about yourselves. Some of the people of Israel have hard hearts, but this will last only until the full number of Gentiles comes to Christ. And so all Israel will be saved. As the Scriptures say, ‘The one who rescues will come from Jerusalem, and he will turn Israel away from ungodliness. And this is my covenant with them, that I will take away their sins.’” 

 Everyday, more and more Gentiles are coming to faith and according to the Bible, once the full number of Gentiles have come to faith, Israel shall be saved as well. “Many of the people of Israel are now enemies of the Good News, and this benefits you Gentiles. Yet they are still the people he loves because he chose their ancestors Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. For God’s gifts and his call can never be withdrawn.” 

 Christian Zionists can use this to support their agenda by saying “since God’s gifts and his call can never been withdrawn, that would mean the promise that the Jews would possess the Holy Land can’t be withdrawn”, it wasn’t. As I said many times throughout this book, God did not cancel his promises to the Jews, he already fulfilled them. If I promise you that I will give you 20$ tomorrow so you could go buy food for the entire family, and then tomorrow I keep my promise and then you come back with the food and we all finished eating dinner, my promise was fulfilled. In the same way, the land was promised to the Jews so the Messiah, Jesus, who was a Jew, could come from the Jewish nation to spread the truth and now both Jew and Gentile can be saved. This was the purpose of the promise given to the Jews, and this purpose was fulfilled. This war is a result of human greed and yes, God talks about war happening in Israel, doesn’t mean that he wants the war to happen. God’s gifts to the Jews were not withdrawn, they were fulfilled. It says that the Jews are still the people God loves and this is true, this does not mean that the Jews are chosen, this simply means they are the people God loves. God also loves the Gentiles. The reason Paul says that the Jews are still the people God loves is because the Jews rejected Jesus and Paul wanted to make it clear that despite their rejection, God still loves and cares for the Jewish people. “Once, you Gentiles were rebels against God, but when the people of Israel rebelled against him, God was merciful to you instead. Now they are the rebels, and God’s mercy has come to you so that they, too, will share in God’s mercy. For God has imprisoned everyone in disobedience so he could have mercy on everyone. Oh, how great are God’s riches and wisdom and knowledge! How impossible it is for us to understand his decisions and his ways! For who can know the Lord’s thoughts? Who knows enough to give him advice? And who has given him so much that he needs to pay it back? For everything comes from him and exists by his power and is intended for his glory. All glory to him forever! Amen.” 

 God’s desire is for all Jews and Gentiles to worship and accept God. 

​

Intro

To preface this review, I just need to say that this is going to be a very, long read. Going through it myself just for the fun of it takes around 30 minutes — it's almost 7k words of text, including lyrical references. So for the best experience, listen to the album beforehand to understand what the hell I was thinking when I wrote this review, play the album while reading, and set a good amount of time aside.
And yes, this is 9 months late 😭 I'm not sorry — when I find an album review online it's always around a paragraph per song or even shorter. It makes sense from a journalistic perspective, but I want to do this album justice, hence taking 7 months to write out all my thoughts.
This shit is comprehensive and definitely overanalyzed, especially in Talk that Talk and Trouble. Each song review will compose of my commentary going over the song, noting the details I noticed through months of listening, then a conclusion. Also, mild swearing warning, I like implementing a touch of "French" when I'm very emotional about something. Anyway, onto the review!
​
​
​

Between 1&2 💞

Album Review
​
​
​
TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT
TELL ME WHAT YOU NEED
​
​
​

Talk that Talk 🎙

Lead producer: collapsedone
​
One of the most perfect TWICE songs.
I think this is one of TWICE’s best-sounding title tracks. Warm modulated synths, a thrumming bass line, distant bells, shimmering synths — the purpose of this song is to be fun and my god is it excellent at it, like… Sana and Chaeyoung are saying knock-knock-knock and beep-beep-beep as if they’re some kind of car. So much fun.
Further along in the verse, Dahyun’s voice sounds so full and smooth with that layered harmony. Tzuyu coming with the Yes or Yes, Push & Pull, and 1 to 10 references — these are 5 years of song references. And Jeongyeon closes the pre-chorus accompanied by a rising synth to drop into chorus one. Jeongyeon slays pre-choruses.
The drums accelerate, the synths start blasting, and Jihyo opens to that party of a chorus with her godly vocals,
​

Tell me what you want
Tell me what you need
A to Z da malhaebwa
But shijageun ireoke have
Talk that talk ttak han madi
Talk that talk L-O-V-E
deullyeojweo ooh
Now now now now now yeah~

​
During Sana's Talk that Talk~ lines there’s this gentle ascending synth bell that rings with the descending melody and it sounds absolutely gorgeous. And the choreography during that part of the chorus is so so so so fun: the talking hands bit, spelling L-O-V-E, concluding with the deullyeojweo ooh! Oh my Jihyo the deullyeojweo ooh…
Have I mentioned this song is fun?
Speeding through verse 2; Chaeyoung’s part with the cat ears popping in the music video is adorable; Momo her stretching her arms out looks so damn cool; and Dahyun with her replay part sounds so lovely — although I think it sonically sounds a touch random, it makes sense thematically.
And now for this pre-chorus. Mina and Jihyo leading into it sound great BUT JEONGYEON… Now, she is my ult bias, and this pre-chorus sounds almost identical to the first one, but the way she holds that final note, enunciating and holding that now~ for one more beat before the chorus drops sounds so perfect — the song teeters on a cliff edge. Jeongyeon slays pre-choruses.
Dropping into the second chorus and man, Jihyo powered through that first chorus, but the way Nayeon delivers it just hits different. She has this indescribable “pop” voice (I promise this wasn't on purpose) that stands out and shouts this is THE chorus. I think this is especially apparent in how both lead their choruses where Jihyo starts at 120% power while Nayeon waits until [Tell me] WHAT YOU WANT to full-send it. She also highlights “malhaebwa” in a similar way later in the chorus.
Another deullyeojweo ooh! Nayeon travels to Narnia, and Mina the engineer strikes again in this heavenly, underwater-esque bridge,
​

The simple words “I love you”
That’s all I wanna hear
Without hesitation, I’ll go up to you
I’ll make it simple
And just tell you I love you

​
The word “love” is said for the first time in the song. There’s a funky keyboard instrument behind Chaeyoung’s part. Jihyo, Chaeyoung, and Nayeon take the initiative in their lyrics, professing their love before closing the bridge.
And now for the pièce-de-résistance: this final double chorus is exceptional — 40 seconds of crack-laced euphoria; Jihyo switches up the chorus and the choreo, Dahyun chimes in with her fluttery “Talk that Talk”, Momo comes out of nowhere with “oh yeah it sounds so good!” — you’re damn right it does, and this is where the song SOARS.
​

han beon deo~ haejweo
geurae banggeum geu mal~

​
Nayeon outright shouts “Tell me what you need” and then Jeongyeon sings the above lines in such an ethereal, warm way where the first line ascends while the second line descends, causing a lull in the song before the finale with Nayeon, finishing off the song with the final deullyeojweo ooh! What a party. What a song.
​
THE GOOD

• The synths of all time
• The chimes during Talk-that-talk~
• Jeongyeon’s pre-chorus going into Nayeon’s chorus
• The entirety of that magical, final chorus and outro

Needs Work

• The opening hook (Tell me what you want) and accompanying choreography could be “catchier”

Core Memory

• Singing (and dancing) my heart out when this song played at a K-pop club

​
Lyrics and theme-wise, if this were to have been TWICE’s last comeback, they’ve once again built upon the theme they've been doing since debut: a Bildungsroman, a coming-of-age story.
This song’s chorus is honest yet simple; it asks the listener, in this case, the other half of the relationship, to be more upfront and open with their love (never be scared of love), that before the relationship can continue and flourish there has to be a foundation and commitment of love between each other.
TWICE debuted with a song about making your crush go ooh ahh. Years later, they started pondering “What is love?” and imagining their crush responding with “yes” when asking them out — and now concluding with the phrase “Talk that talk, [talk that] L-O-V-E”, being upfront with the relationship, wishing their partner to also be happy, to commit to them, to feel the love that they want to impart on them. From gawking like ooh-ahh to talking out your shared love like adults — to having a true relationship between (one and) two.
And can I just say before finishing off Talk that Talk's review that this is such a fun and repeatable song with many little intricacies hidden in the nonet’s vocals and the production. This is the third draft I’m writing about Talk that Talk and its original word count pretty much quadrupled.
Harkening back to TWICE’s roots by combining mature thinking with youthful character, an incredible ending to look forward to, and just simply being a club-banger that’s easy to listen to, TTT is an easy 10/10.
​
​
​
WATCH ME GO WATCH ME GO
RULE THE WORLD
​
​
​

Queen of Hearts 👑

Lead producer: LDN Noise of SM
​
If there was one B-side to promote in a live clip, this was a solid choice.
Helmed by LDN Noise going headlong into the Western boy-group rock-band aesthetic, Queen of Hearts is a boom-boom-clap song through and through. The drums are very prominent throughout the song, only giving room to riffs of electric guitar in the chorus to drive and continue the momentum of the music.
And speaking of the chorus, vocal line each got a chorus to flex and they did not fuck around,
​

You ain’t ready for it
Watch me go~ watch me go~
Rule the world
Know you never doubted baby
I’mma go run the whole universe~

​
Cymbals crashing, drums booming, and 3MIX belting all just so sound so good.
​

Baby I was born to rule~~
Yeah I’m the queen, I’m the queen
And it’s all because of you~~
That I’m the Queen of Hearts

​
These long, held-out notes performed by Jihyo and Nayeon are simply exquisite. Along with the shredding guitar, the drum set coming in full, and the interludes by Dahyun, Momo, and Chaeyoung, this is the part of the song that always, always, gives me goosebumps — it sounds so visceral, so energetic, so fun, so triumphant. Boom-boom-clap songs can be hit or miss with people, but there's no denying the payoff from the first part of the chorus to the second part is worth the wait.
The theme of the song so far has been kind of spread around the song. The chorus alludes to it with the line "And it’s all because of you." But Mina shows more sides of it in the second verse, especially with the phrase,
​

And now that I’m surrounded by all my girls
We be shining bright like diamonds and pearls

​
It sounds really lovely — in a very cheesy and affectionate kind of way, as it rightfully should — the song is about the girls and their fans. But the bridge is where the song indeed shows its colours
​

Screaming out my name
See it in the stage lights
Feel so lucky just to have ya
Cause I know deep down I was meant for something bigger! Greater!
I know you’re seeing what I see
Yeah I’ll be everything you need
I know I’m gonna walk the walk
And talk the talk to be~ [the Queen of Hearts]

​
This is a song CONCEIVED TO BE PERFORMED FOR THE FANS. It’s meant to be loud. It’s meant to be unapologetic. It’s meant to be sappy. And it’s all the more wonderful for it.
This is the TWICEiest shit ever.
Like Talk that Talk, Queen of Hearts also has a killer closer. The production already started to grow from the bridge, but now the guitarist finally went Super Saiyan and instead of supporting the drums, they both take the centrepiece in tandem.
Then finally, the closing moments of the song even manage to squeeze in some more sappiness.
​

So thank you for the memories
You’re all the ones who made me~
So thank you for the memories
That I’m the Queen of Hearts

​
I still can’t believe that this banger is a FAN SONG out of all things. Truly, the TWICEiest shit ever.
​
THE GOOD

• Adorable fucking lyrics
• Unrelenting, roaring chorus
• English and vocal flex
• Addicting guitar riffs

Needs Work

• Chaeyoung rapping in English in their Korean songs somehow slaps harder than her English rapping in their English songs, nonetheless, in QoH, it fits with the sound of the song

Life Highlight

• Walking home from a K-pop festival with this song playing, felt like a Queen of Hearts

​
I love these types of rock songs with how grunge and head-bang-able they are, there is just a certain nostalgic and cheesy quality to them that feels so cozy. I don’t love putting them on repeat, because in this case, I do believe there is such a thing as too much of a good thing. Perhaps more shredding, maybe a guitar solo to rock out to, or an accompaniment(!) of ad-libs from 3MIX to support Jihyo’s final chorus? A ONCE can dream of a truly bombastic rock song from TWICE. But then again that distracts from the core of what this song is: a fan song disguised as a rock song.
Queen of Hearts has so much sweetness in its lyrics and message that it's overflowing. The drums, guitar, and vocals can be as loud and intricate as they can, but the theme of this song is what makes it special from TWICE’s other rock songs — it’s a 9/10 for me.
​
​
​
I WANNA WANNA WANNA
TAKE YOU TO THE BASICS
​
​
​

Basics 🌈

Sole lyricist credit: Chaeyoung
​
Quite possibly the jammiest (pun intended) song of the album.
A song written by the Strawberry Princess herself — an event similar in frequency to other artists' releases with her last song being 2020’s silky Handle It — Basics first starts with an understated and dreamy delivery. After the first stanza, however, a bouncy Miami bass line emerges, revealing the true nature of the song: this is a classic summer bop! Especially in the first rap,
​

dareun aedeulgwaneun dalla
Ain’t beggin’ for love
nappeun geon anijana ige naraseo
eodiro twilji molla
Like rainbow bubble gum
geureoni nal kkwak butjabadweo

​
Syllables are pronounced in a relaxed nature, bars often starting with an "ah" sound, flirty lines in English — this rap features a production full of pop with R&B flourishes and, in my opinion, this is Chaeyoung’s bag. Also, the line "rainbow bubblegum" is so adorable and so Chaeyoung.
​

I wanna wanna wanna take it to the basics
da weonhae weonhae weonhae? seodureuji ma Baby
ppeonhae ppeonhae malhae mweohae da al tende
Ah yeah ah yeah ah yeah ah yeah

​
That chorus is pure pop with a Miami bass backing; you better be bopping your head to the melody, if not booty poppin' to the bassline. Chaeyoung loves rhyming in the first half of the chorus to enhance its catchiness and it's damn incredible: the “wanna”, “weonhae”, and “ppeonhae” all create these imperfect rhymes that continue momentum without feeling repetitive.
After the very Boy With Luv-sounding “ah yeah ah yeah, ah yeah ah yeah” comes an 8-bar split half and half between Chaeyoung and Momo. Coming from the chorus, the production completely cuts out for the first 2 bars. This adds tension; the song yearns to have that bass beat thumping again and all we have in the audio space in those 2 bars is Chaeyoung spittin' and she delivered.
​

taneun deut tteugeoun samak wie
yeppeuge pieonan jangmi gata
joshimseure naege dagaol ttae
nado moreuge jjilleobeoril tende

​
Translating to:
​

Above the hot, burning desert
It’s like a rose that bloomed beautifully
When you come to me slowly
I will prick you unconsciously

​
The rap feels slick, effortless, and confident. Her diction remains sharp when enunciating each syllable but she doesn’t let the flow of her rap waver or build as her 4 bars go by, it’s just smooth consistency throughout. Even the lyrics possess an aura of laid-back collectedness that is just so her. The things Chaeyoung can do when given her pen.
​
THE GOOD

• That sweet summer vibe of a chorus
• The “spaceship” post-chorus is killer
• Chaeyoung devoured this song
• Sure-footed, confident lyrics

Needs Work

• Perhaps an alteration of that ah yeah ah yeah line
• The way Jihyo did her pre-chorus line is good, but Mina’s is great

Core Memory

• After donating my hair, walking down the rainbow-coloured areas of downtown Toronto with this song playing was very… fitting

​
This song is summer bliss distilled into 2:56. It’s dreamy, the raps are satisfying, and the ending is charming. I will say that although the second half of the song adds the stunning “spaceship” post-choruses and a floaty bridge with an incredible drumbeat drop into the final chorus, the raps of the song make it feel a bit front-loaded. And in an album stacked with awesome finishers, it feels more apparent.
With that said, it’s an 8/10 bop for me. This song is so easy to put on and it feels exactly what Chaeyoung would make if given the reins to produce a pop song all on her own. The lyrics are nonchalant but full of conviction, the wordplay is intricate, and the production playful but not too bombastic — it's just a nice vibe. Songs like Basics are the standard for good, simple, repeatable pop music and I’m happy that Chaeyoung got to test her pen in this genre.
​
​
​
BABY WE’RE IN
TROUBLE TROUBLE
​
​
​

Trouble 💃

Sole lyricist credit: Jihyo
Background vocals: Jihyo
Lead composer credit: Jihyo
Vocal director credit: Jihyo (an assumption given her contributions in First Time)
​
One of the most enjoyable songs I’ve heard in a while.
There is an underlying tension within the first 4 bars of the song, Jihyo and Nayeon confidently open it to a nondescript array of synths and then the stanza ends, Momo announces “Let’s go”, the beat drops and it hits you: this is a club song.
Dahyun's relaxed delivery contrasted with Jeongyeon's staccato flow, the wobbly synth beat with sprinkle of house piano, Sana dramatically slowing down the song only for Tzuyu to build it back up until the chorus drops,
​

• Nayeon opens it using a breathy tone, with vocal chops serving as harmonies
• The blooming of the house piano takes centre stage and the song ascends into euphoria
• A random drum roll capped off by a cymbal crash
• Jeongyeon’s pronunciation of the word “trouble” almost being a growl
• Chaeyoung slyly admitting “I like this trouble”
• The entirety of Tzuyu’s tro~oh~oh~ouble yeah~
• Sana using her deep voice for the na~na~na~na
• Jihyo leading the vocals during the synchronized T W I C E chant

​
This chorus is perfect. Toronto’s residential market needs this song injected into its veins because god damn this song has SO much house in it. And then, ANOTHER KILLING PART: this rap fucking slaps.
​

gamchweo bwatja geugeon Fake
ppajin hamjeongeun Sweet cake

​
During the first 2 bars, Chaeyoung is keeping it calm because that trip of a chorus just ended and the song needs a breather, but I don't think anyone expected her to SNAP this hard afterwards:
​

You cannot resist this
Cannot miss this, such a bliss
Ima put it down down
Oh yeah, better kiss kiss

​
Below is the structure of her this portion of the rap, I’m not that well versed in this technical aspect of music theory but I digress, this is all in the span of around 5 seconds where it’s:
​

Triplet-triplet
Quadruplet-triplet
Quadruplet-doublet
Doublet-quadruplet

​
Now, 25/5 = 5 syllables per second isn’t groundbreaking, but goddamn it these 2 bars sound so nice — if there is one part in this album that I always repeat, it’s this. The addition of that first quadruplet for “cannot miss this” in the midst of the triplets sticks out and accelerates the flow of the rap while the following doublets and quadruplets destabilize and slow the rap down as the verse closes. And can I just point out:
THE MAIN VOCALIST WROTE, DIRECTED, AND COMPOSED THIS SONG ‼
Chaeyoung of course delivered the fuck out of her verse but THIS is what you get when you have a member not only write the words they’re saying but also the melody and flow with which they sing it, when that member knows the others so well that when they write a song they know how to make the group exceed. This is what you get when the artists you stan love doing artist shit.
And. AND. That's not all — with how much I mentioned I love a good outro to close a song, this outro slaps as well:
​

Woo wee woo wee woo
I like this trouble be-be
Woo wee woo wee woo
I like this trouble bay-be
Woo wee woo wee woo
I like this trouble bay-beh
Woo wee woo wee woo
I like this trou-ble

​
Like, come on, Nayeon’s imitating a police siren for crying out loud. And this is all after her ad-libs in the final post-chorus; after the pianist going full tilt and playing that piano as if it was their last chance to ever play; after that final T W I C E chant by all the members come these blissful 20 seconds at the very end. What a song.
​
THE GOOD

• The theme of relishing in an uncontrolled love
• Sana and Mina’s melody in the pre-chorus
• Chorus
• Rap
• Outro
• Wees and woos

Needs Work

• Mina’s line of “falling down, falling down, falling down low” in verse 2 feels a bit too abrupt of a change

Core Memory

• While writing Trouble's review I had this song on repeat for my whole subway commute and I must've been so distracting, just head-bopping and being so invested in enjoying a song

​
Need I say more, easy 9/10. The only reason I place Talk that Talk above Trouble is because of what that song represents but besides that, this is one of the best “international” sounds they’ve put out. Actually, I haven’t listened to Eyes wide open in a while but this song is up there with one of the most sonically pleasing pieces of work they’ve done.
Clubbing TWICE has always been a thing since TT was birthed in 2016, and has been a staple of their discography since 2019’s Fancy You and Feel Special mini albums, but Trouble unapologetically dives into and fits the house genre so well you’d think that this is TWICE’s bread and butter sound.
Trouble is Jihyo’s magnum opus. What a song.
​
​
​
BRAVE BRAVE BRAVE
FOR YOU
​
​
​

Brave 💖

Main producer: Slow Rabbit of HYBE
​
I first thought this was just a good song, then I read the lyrics.
Gentle guitar plucks, shimmering synths, a distant keyboard in the right ear, in the left a glockenspiel, the melodic oohs from the members — this song is PRETTY.
​

The night that was unusually dark
Above this terrifying world, felt so lonely
The world has grown in the time of wandering
So hard to breathe

​
Mina and Chaeyoung open the song with how they feel lonely and that it's hard to breathe and now suddenly the song feels bittersweet — I was not expecting the song to be this emotional. Brave describes a situation where the singer is in a darker place in life and it isn't until another person gives them hope by calling them 'brave' that they find the drive to keep going.
Once the chorus hits, the melodies pick up, more guitars get added — there’s even an electric guitar hidden in the mix somewhere, and the song drops the emotional front to reveal a mid-tempo pop song to dance to while crying in the club. The song as a whole still carries this melancholy feeling, but now with the added support of this chorus acting as a light amongst the gloom.
Continuing on in the second verse there's this gorgeous, well-placed break in the song that just lets it settle after that chorus. Only a seasoned producer would risk this much empty space in a song and Slow Rabbit went to fill those shoes.
Back to the chorus, I'll take this moment to once again commend Slow Rabbit with the mixing of the song, because 4MIX undoubtedly sounds good in the chorus, and the interludes from Dahyun, Chaeyoung, and Mina also sound really good, but the clear highlight of the choruses are these lines:
​

Oh na na na neon nal naige hae [Momo, then Tzuyu, then Momo]
On and on and on
Brave brave brave for ya [Dahyun, then Chaeyoung, then Mina]
Oh na na na neon nal sum shwige hae [Sana, then Momo, then Sana]
On and on and on oh trust me babe

​
Momo, Sana, and Tzuyu form this beautiful, surprisingly catchy, second half of the chorus accompanied by a guitar drop. It should not turn out this well with how conflicting the "na"s are with the guitar melody but it creates this gentle bopping ebb and flow that feels so lush and mellow.
Diving into the bridge reveals that the listener of the song is revealed not only capable of supporting the singer through direct words but also through their thoughts and dreams. As can be discerned, this can be a song interpreted to be about ONCEs, about how they push TWICE to be their best selves despite the breathless hardships they face. It's a very sweet and touching song.
​
THE GOOD

• Special lyrics
• Pleasant sound to vibe out to
• That gentle break after the first chorus
• Jihyo’s high note at the end
• A Nayeon Jeongyeon joint high note ⁉️
• Just pretty vocals throughout

Needs Work

• Potentially hard to comprehend without translating the Korean lyrics

Core Memory

• Form of Therapy’s life motto revolves around the word “brave”. I don’t know where I got that from, but I remembered it right before watching his album reaction

​
I’m actually spoiled with the TWICE members’ easy-to-understand songwriting that when a song like this pops up where it's not written by a member and the thematic bits are mostly in Korean, I tend to put it aside in favour of the other songs on the album. And, especially for a song focusing on a theme like this where the English phrases don’t do the Korean lyrics enough justice, it does place a bit of a barrier on the listening experience, dropping it down to a 7/10 from an 8/10.
With that anecdote out of the way, this song is just such a vibe, man. I know that sounds super hippy to say but Brave is so mellow and smooth that I can’t help but sway a little when that chorus hits. And then I remember what the lyrics say and I tear up a bit on the inside. This song is so pure, raw, and full of heart — we need more songs like these where they just reminisce about life while putting up an upbeat front. Don't mind me just crying while dancing the night away.
With that said, this isn't the first time this theme has been sung by TWICE either, they've long trodden this path of supportive, confiding, up-lifting songs with Young & Wild, Rainbow, Queen, Go Hard, Depend on You, even this album's Queen of Hearts, and, of course, Feel Special. Brave just adds another on top of an already stacked lineup, unique with its mellow somberness.
Also now feels like a good time to get into my rating system:

• 7/10s are songs are ones that are simply good throughout or great songs with apparent flaws
• 8/10s are great songs with standout characteristics
• 9/10s are borderline perfect songs where I sometimes can't comprehend how great they are
• And 10/10s are the best of an artist's discography, songs that encapsulate their ethos perfectly or expand upon them in a meaningful way

​
​
​
I SEE THE LIES
ON THE TIP OF YOUR TONGUE
​
​
​

Gone 💨

Sole lyricist credit: Dahyun
​
Who the fuck pissed off Dubu this time??
It’s getting quite rare to see TWICE pull off brand new sounds because, with now 190 original songs under their belt, they’ve done so many genres and sub-genres varying from hyper pop, to bossa nova, to whatever 2020’s Go Hard is. So it’s surprising to see they’ve still got tricks up their sleeves and Gone is one of them.
The song starts with strings swinging back and forth and vocal chops dancing from ear to ear, teasing what’s yet to come. Jihyo enters the song with a whisper and the song sets its pace. A stagnant drum pad moves the song along and typical song progression would have Mina continue the build but — it doesn’t. The song simmers, adding a hint of high hat to the pot. And then, Sana and Tzuyu come on and surely the buildup must boil over right?
Silence, until…
​

I see the LIES on the top of your tongue

​
The strings emerge again on full blast, the simmer rolls to a boil, and the anger of the song is revealed,
​

All the fate I had towards you
Fades like a fog, gone, gone
Your flipping mind of doing this and that
I’m tired of it, it’s meaningless
In the beginning, it was hard to believe
With that, hatred increases

​
The singer is so scorned and burned from this relationship that they reminisce about all the effort they’ve put in since the beginning, but their “partner” is so unconcerned that they’ve just about had enough of the relationship altogether.
This has been Dahyun’s thing since 2020’s Bring It Back, 2021’s Cruel, 2022’s That’s all I’m saying, and even 2023's Don't Blame It On Me — emotionally charged breakup songs that make you feel as if she’s gone through a dozen bad relationships. Dispatch, do your job better, or don't.
Another highlight of the song is the post-chorus going into the bridge. This segment reiterates the structure from the first post-chorus — a barrage of drums supported by the rhythmic strumming of a bass guitar along with a consistent synth filling out the soundscape. But this time, it’s Dahyun and Chaeyoung on the rap:
​

I can’t stand it anymore [Dahyun]
My patience, invisible
I can’t find it, it’s all gone
Even if I try to turn back, it’s too late [Chaeyoung]
There’s no use anymore
It has left, it’s long gone
You, with flipping mind, you are out [Momo]
I know that you know what I’m talking about [Dahyun]
Nothing you could say that could turn this around
I’m gone

​
Continuing the disrespected theme of the song, Dahyun notes that she’s finally had enough with Chaeyoung adding that there’s no point salvaging what was once there for all of it is long gone. Momo and Dahyun round it off by telling the listener that there’s no point trying to reason with them or playing naive, they fucked up and there’s no coming back.
Can I just say, it's a bit of a shame that Chaeyoung’s rapping popped off in this album while Dahyun only has this one verse that she shares with Chaeyoung, but it just sounds so good how Dahyun eases in after the chorus with her light rapping tone transitioning into her singing. She even holds the “gone” in a little crescendo for some added pizzazz.
And, there’s no way I’m not going to talk about Momo’s vocals in this bridge. Damned if she only got 1 line to use it in, her lower register is incredible. She sounds so smooth singing in this tone. All of TWICE do in particular and there is nary a weak vocal performance in this album.
To close the song off, a wash of synths gets to have their shine in the spotlight, showered with Nayeon’s belting, signifying the dramatic and drawn-out conclusion of this partnership.
​
THE GOOD

• They’ve still got their surprises
• Thundering chorus
• 2nd rap and bridge combo
• A bitter, crumbling relationship theme

Needs Work

• I’m not a huge fan of the mixing during the first post-chorus, where Momo's vocals were fighting with the production, which is disappointing because Momo is capable of an insane flow
• The post-chorus in general, specifically the first one, can be a bit tiring on repeat listens

Core Memory

• Actually, I think this song sounds like a mix between GOT7's Not By The Moon, BLACKPINK’s Love To Hate Me, and Dahyun’s Bring It Back. I don’t know where I got this thought came from, but it stuck

​
Going back to that point about the first post-chorus as a whole; songs that have the production continue unchanged into the post-chorus/2nd verse are very hit or miss for me — see TWICE's Don't Call Me Again for an overbearing example. The post-chorus going into the bridge contrasts Dahyun’s light tone nicely with the hard-hitting production, continuing the energy until it slowly fades into silence at the end of the bridge.
Back to the song as a whole, as much as TWICE has been experimenting with their sound for the past 4 years now, I’m happy they’re still finding new ways to explore what they’re capable of. And for that alone, even though I’m not a big fan of songs like these where they rely on sounding “big”, Dahyun’s lyricism and the thrill I receive every time I indulge myself in this song when I listen to it for the first time in a while elevates it to an 8/10. Keep on breaking hearts, Dubu.
​
​
​
INVINCIBLE
SUPERHEROES
​
​
​

When We Were Kids 🧸

Sole lyricist credit: Dahyun
​
Press play to reminisce, pull up lyrics to cry.
This song is so beautiful. I’m totally not writing this song review, crying on the bus reminiscing about my childhood, while just having turned 21. I don’t know if these are happy or sad tears but this song is so beautiful either way.
Warm synths, muted piano, a gentle high hat, the younger members starting off the song — this has to be up there for one of the softest TWICE songs ever. And as it should, it’s one of the TWICEiest songs ever. And then Nayeon comes in,
​

Invincible superheroes, we wanted to be adults
To the higher, clearer world

​
The chords start swelling, the high hat keeps pace, and the harmonies come in,
​

Remember when we were kids
When we were kids, we didn’t know
If we could go back
I will love it even more
Remember when we were kids

​
Jihyo takes up the second half of the chorus as it drops, trading the strings for an almost R&B synth production — if choir R&B takes off, this song started it. The song relishes in this cacophony of warm sounds until returning to its sparse and peaceful verses.
This time, the hints of piano are louder, little twinkling synths begin to shimmer, the drum buildup comes and Jeongyeon drives the song straight into the chorus. No time for the strings to build like in Nayeon’s — this song loves its chorus so much.
And I'll just take this time to appreciate the amount of Jeongyeon vocals in this album. Her voice is so clean, stable, and projected — but also more tender and soft compared to the more pronounced tones of Nayeon and Jihyo.
The bridge comes in, repeating the phrase:
​

I wish that I could meet
Could meet the younger me

​
Giving the song time to rest, before building back up to the last chorus — this time led by Jihyo, completing the 3MIX trifecta. And interestingly enough, Chaeyoung follows up in the second half of the chorus, rather than another member of the vocal line. She really did pop off in this album.
As the last chorus begins to close, the percussion at its strongest, the harmonies on blast, the background vocals cranked up to their Sunday best, is the song going to end? Of course not! This is an album full of banger endings as if the songs don’t want to end, and When We Were Kids being the album closer very much indulges in that feeling.
After a brief refrain, accented by Nayeon’s high note with a touch of vibrato, the song almost dives back into a fourth chorus. Nayeon and Jeongyeon harmonize — a rare and heavenly moment. And the song repeats the bridge, reiterating that they want to meet their younger selves, this time with the lush chorus production before closing with silence, a few piano notes, and Tzuyu singing the last line of the song:
​

Oh, we were kids

​
Reflection, acceptance, hope. What a song.
​
THE GOOD

• Heavenly vocals throughout
• Relatable, heartfelt lyrics
• Euphoric chorus
• Great closer to the album

Needs Work

• Refrain after the last chorus, "Back when we were kids," could’ve been executed better

Core Memory

• For an album titled Between 1&2, I don’t think anything hits harder than finishing the song reviews, with this song in particular, during your 21st birthday

​
I wrote the first part of this review in November 2022. Then university, life, and other things got in the way of my headspace for me to feel confident about wrapping all of this up. In a way, I felt like I just didn’t want this review to end because of the joy that writing gives me — I didn’t want the happiness to end. And then it hit me, after watching a YouTuber rank animated movies and them placing Spirited Away at the top and explaining 'why' reminded me of just how important growing up is, and by extension this song.
This theme is important for both the rookie TWICE members in 2015 and the teenagers who would follow their journey and grow up with them, facing life’s obstacles along the way. Hardships that used to only involve family, crushes, and social media, evolve into work, commitments and all the struggles that adult life brings. Being a kid and enjoying the simple things in life is one of the most sought-after moments we want to relive because we took growing up for granted. The only thing we can do now is look back on ourselves with fondness and rose-tinted lenses.
TWICE’s original marketing was to resonate with people through their senses and their hearts. That was during their debut, and I think it still holds up today. In my opinion, touching people through their emotions is what TWICE does best and makes them one of K-pop’s all-time greats. It was never about having the best numbers — it was always about being the best idols. And to think that this journey of maturation and growth would occur from 2015 all the way to this song, being a fitting nod to TWICE’s 7th anniversary, I don’t think anyone at the company nor the group would ever imagine that they would get this far. It’s these nine women or none — 9/10.
This song honestly deserves a 10/10 with how much I noticed other people reminiscing their childhoods after I heard this song, it is such a widely-relatable message, but I am determined to limit myself to one 10/10 song per album and if I were to pick between TTT and WWWK, I'd give it to the one's that's more repeatable — Talk that Talk just has this electric energy about it.
​
​
​

Epilogue

And finally here is the end. If you made it in one sitting then I commend you, because I could not write this mess in one sitting. As alluded to, I started writing this album review sometime in October, after a series of edits the first draft was finished in March, and now here's the final draft in June.
I love this album. It got me through some important parts of my life, both good and bad, and it's just a wonderful listen throughout. Reliving this album again before finally completing the review has been an exciting journey. Brave hit me harder this time, after being overshadowed by the other gems of this album, and WWWK finally got me to tear up and not just be emotionally satisfied.
I feel like there's something for everyone on this album. From the exhilarating thrills of TTT to the anthemic euphoria of QoH, the clubbing dichotomy of Trouble and Brave to the blissful glee of Basics, and the sweet reminiscence of WWWK to the thundering anger that is Gone. Like Eyes wide open, I liken Between 1&2 to a pop music taste platter — there's such an eclectic mix of pop, music in this album that there's bound to be a song that someone will love, like, and dislike.
Is this album perfect? I don't think so, but it's close — it was certainly my 2022 AOTY. Was this review biased? Absolutely. I've been a fan since 2019 and with the themes in this album, I also feel like it was biased towards me as a ONCE. And how would I rank the album in TWICE's catalogue? It's honestly at the top, at least with EPs — I also felt that way towards Feel Special but then this album was birthed so I'm excited for TWICE's future.
Ready To Be was also a stunning album and Eyes wide open frankly also deserved the spotlight that Formula of Love received so I might hit those next but no promises; this album took long enough to bake.
As for the performances, I've only seen Twitter clips (no fancams to not spoil myself) and I am SO EXCITED to finally see them in July. QoH was as glorious as expected, Brave was a delightful surprise, and WWWK, while not being the concert closer everyone expected it to be, paired up nicely with Crazy Stupid Love. And of course the bombastic addition of the dance break to TTT. But, this is not a concert review, and this is where this album review ends.
Feel free to comment with any thoughts regarding the album, other TWICE albums, and any suggestions for my writing in general. Congrats again on making it this far!
God, I love this album.

When you first dive off the Great Sky Island, and you land in the pond… I had no idea where I was. It was unrecognisable.
In BOTW hyrule field was mostly a dangerous place to be because of the guardians, so I personally didn’t spend a lot of time there unless I was hunting them late game.
So for them to make hyrule field a pretty safe spot, and put the central base of the game there in TOTK was pretty genius IMO. Instantly turned the previous version on its head and told us - this hyrule is not the same as before!

Preface

Presented below is a transcript of a conversation between a human, redditor u/snodeplannen, and ChatGPT 4. The user is the narrator for a story set in the Star Trek Universe. The AI is instructed to respond as a character. The story below, which admittedly isn't very good, was guided by the narrator. Of particular interest is the fact that the AI seems fully versed in the Star Trek Universe and is able to understand subtle hints in the narrator's story to figure out what it should do next.
Please note the narrator was typing and writing off the cuff and is not a native speaker, so in the user sections you will find mistakes. If ChatGPT can see through them, so can you. I did try to get ChatGPT to collate it, but as it did so it kept rewriting and leaving out parts of the story.
June 3rd, 2023.
User Okay, I want to try a role playing game. This went off the rails last time, as you kept taking over as narrator and rushing to the end. Here's the setup: YOU are a young Starfleet officer. You wake up aboard the USS Defiant, all alone. You have to figure out what happened. I am the Defiant's computer and, and I can't stress this enough, the narrator. Not you. You can only add what your character perceives and says. Okay?
ChatGPT Understood. I'll stick to my role as the character and won't intrude into your role as the narrator. Let's go.
I blink my eyes open, the disorientation hitting me first. I glance around, seeing the familiar confines of my quarters aboard the Defiant, but there's an odd stillness. No hum of the engines, no faint chatter from the comm system, no sounds of activity from outside the door.
"Computer," I call out, pushing myself off the bed, "report."
User 'All systems nominal.'
ChatGPT I frown at the seemingly normal report, my instincts telling me otherwise. "Computer, where is the rest of the crew?" I ask, moving towards the door of my quarters.
User 'The crew is in sleeping quarters alpha 1.'
ChatGPT That's strange. The whole crew couldn't be in one place. Unease creeps in.
"Computer, why is the entire crew in alpha 1?" I say, already heading towards the door to investigate.
User 'The crew is ensign Makov. You are in sleeping quarters alpha 1.'
ChatGPT A cold realization washes over me. Alone. I am alone on the Defiant. Panic threatens to take over, but Starfleet training kicks in.
"Computer, initiate shipwide life signs scan. Report any signs of life apart from myself," I command, heading for the door with a newfound urgency.
User 'Scan complete. No other life forms were detected.'
ChatGPT My heart sinks at the computer's report, but I maintain composure. "Computer, pull up the ship's log. What was the last command issued and by whom?" I order, leaving my quarters and heading towards the main bridge.
User 'The last order was issued 6 hours and twelve minutes ago by Captain Sisko. It was: 'Raise shields'. The order was executed.'
ChatGPT That didn't sound promising. I walk into the eerily quiet bridge, my steps the only sound echoing in the room. "Computer, show me the shield status and surrounding space conditions," I command, moving towards the main console.
User 'Shields are down after a time-out was reached. We are stationary. All systems nominal.'
ChatGPT It doesn't add up. The silence. The emptiness. An order to raise shields with no subsequent actions.
"Computer, access Captain Sisko's personal log from last night. Are there any entries?" I ask, nervously tapping my fingers against the console.
User 'Enter your command authorisation.'
ChatGPT "Authorisation Ensign Makov Delta 9-7-3," I respond, my voice steady despite the swirling uncertainty.
User 'This authorisation is not sufficient to see the captain's log.'
ChatGPT Frustrated but understanding the protocol, I move on to the next line of inquiry. "Computer, any signs of combat or intrusion aboard the ship or in the surrounding space?" I ask, eyes darting over the array of screens in front of me.
User 'Negative.'
ChatGPT "Computer, could there have been any non-combat related incidents that would explain the disappearance of the crew? A temporal anomaly, a transporter malfunction, a radiation burst?" I question, the possible scenarios running through my mind.
User 'Transporters have passed a level one diagnostic. We are in sync with Starfleet's time keeping array. No unusual radiation was detected inside or outside the vessel.'
ChatGPT This was baffling. It's as if they simply vanished. I run a hand through my hair, letting out a sigh.
"Computer, were there any incoming or outgoing communications just before, during, or after the shields were raised?" I ask, hoping for any clue as to what might have happened.
User 'There was one outgoing message, from comms. It was: 'Unidentified vessel, please alter course NOW.'
ChatGPT A lead, at last. "Computer, play back any responses to that message. Also, display the sensor logs from that time period," I ask, settling into the operations station, ready to review any incoming data.
User No reply was received. Logs are not available from that moment onwards.'
ChatGPT The lack of data was both suspicious and frustrating. A sigh escapes my lips.
"Computer, could a cloaked ship have been in our vicinity at the time?" I question, holding onto the hope that I'm not utterly alone in space.
User 'Affirmative. We are within range of several species that posses cloaking technology and in a commonly used interstellar route.'
ChatGPT A spark of hope arises. "Computer, is there a way to detect a cloaked ship nearby? Any energy signatures or radiation anomalies that could suggest its presence?" I ask, quickly working on the console to bring up the sensor array controls.
User 'One possible way to detect cloaked vessels is to emit a tetryon burst from main engineering. The range for this method is limited. Starfleet at present has no other ways of finding cloaked vessels, other than firing random phaser bank shots. This is not recommended in public shipping lanes.'
ChatGPT "I see," I nod, considering the risks and rewards of the tetryon burst. "Alright, computer, prepare to emit a tetryon burst. We need to know if there's someone out there."
This was a big decision, but it was time to be proactive. The uncertainty was more threatening than potential consequences at this point.
User 'Working.'
ChatGPT I anxiously wait, scanning the console for any potential feedback. My heart pounds in my chest, the silence of the ship amplifying the tension. "Computer, report on the results of the tetryon burst."
User The ship shudders as the engines do something no sane Starfleet engineer would want to have happen. The viewscreen shimmers as a wave of tetryon particles eminates from the ship, as if a stone was dropped in a pond. You observe a faint ribbon leading away from the vessel.'
ChatGPT I catch my breath at the sight, focusing on the faint ribbon. It could mean something, or it could mean nothing. "Computer, analyze the ribbon. Can you determine its origin and endpoint?" I ask, my gaze fixed on the screen.
User 'Extrapolating. Continuing along the trajectory of the ribbon I can detected a minor meteor, a large asteroid field with mining facilities and beyond that the Vindaluvian home world.'
ChatGPT I drum my fingers on the console, processing the information. Could the crew have been taken to one of these locations?
"Computer, can you scan the asteroid field for any signs of life, especially any that matches the crew of the Defiant?" I ask, keeping a close eye on the displayed trajectory.
User 'Not from this range.'
ChatGPT "Understood," I nod, a new sense of determination coursing through me. "Computer, plot a course to the asteroid field. We'll continue our investigation there. Engage at warp 3."
I take one last look around the empty bridge, steeling myself for what may lie ahead.
User The ship begins to move forward, as carefully as only a Starfleet computer who takes no particular joy in flying might do. At warp three, the estimated journey time is six hours, seven minutes.
ChatGPT I let out a long sigh, sinking into the captain's chair. It's a long wait, but I need to be patient. "Computer, maintain course and speed. Alert me if there are any anomalies or approaching vessels."
I close my eyes, trying to get some rest before reaching the asteroid field. I'll need all the energy I can muster for what's to come.
User 'Incoming message.'
ChatGPT My eyes snap open at the sudden announcement. "Computer, on screen," I command, standing up from the chair, my heart pounding with anticipation.
User The Starfleet logo appears as the computer deals with a cryptographic protocol. Admiral Benson, not your most beloved Starfleet Admiral, appears on screen. He blinks.
ChatGPT I straighten up, offering a crisp salute to the admiral on screen. "Admiral Benson, this is Ensign Makov aboard the USS Defiant. I wasn't expecting any communications." I keep my voice steady, swallowing the trepidation.
User 'Makov, are you the only one on the bridge? Where's Ben?'
ChatGPT "Admiral," I pause, trying to find the right words. "Captain Sisko...and the rest of the crew...they're missing. I woke up to find the ship empty. I've been trying to find out what happened." I report, my expression earnest.
User 'Sorry, you WOKE UP? And the rest was gone?!'
ChatGPT "Yes, Admiral," I confirm, my voice firm despite the absurdity of the situation. "I woke up alone on the Defiant. All life signs scans have only picked up me on the ship. I'm currently en route to an asteroid field that might have some connection to the crew's disappearance."
User The Admiral connects to the ship's computer. You can see him browsing through the logs and the ship's manifest. 'So Sisko, O'Brien, Worf AND Major Kira have just... disappeared? There isn't even a transporter log!'
ChatGPT "That's correct, Admiral," I reply, a bit of helplessness creeping into my voice. "There's no trace of them, no sign of a struggle, no transporter logs. It's like they just vanished. I've been doing everything I can to figure out what happened."
User "Well, then I guess you're up. Proceed with caution. Mining operations are always looking for free labourers, try not to become one. Backup is on its way. Any questions?"
ChatGPT "Yes, Admiral. I'll proceed with caution," I respond, a mix of relief and worry washing over me. "Do you have any additional information or suggestions on how to proceed? And do we have an ETA on the backup?"
User "Backup is half a day out. These facilities tend to have a 'new arrivals' wing, to beat them into submission. So you're looking for holding cells. Benson out."
ChatGPT "Understood, Admiral. I'll focus on locating the holding cells. Makov out." I offer a final salute before the communication ends.
With new orders and a bit of hope, I turn back to the helm. "Computer, continue course to the asteroid field. Prepare for a detailed scan upon arrival."
The waiting game begins again, but this time, there's a glimmer of hope.
User Three hours later the computer chimes. 'We are approaching visual range of the mining facility.'
ChatGPT "Thank you, computer," I reply, pulling myself up from the brief rest. "On screen, please."
As the mining facility comes into view, I take a deep breath. "Computer, initiate a detailed scan of the facility. I'm particularly interested in any holding cells or signs of our crew."
User 'Working.' The asteroid field isn't particularly thick or large, but the mining operation seems to focus on one of the largest asteroids. Domes dot the surface as small transporters mill about the surface. Air scrubbers indicate they're using a lot of oxygen, so it's likely they're also doing subsurface work. Three large scowls are received loads from steady stream transporter beams. Somehow everything here looks dirty. A Starfleet shuttle would look out of place here, but only to someone who is watching.
ChatGPT Taking note of the bustling activity, I try to formulate a plan. "Computer, do we have any non-Starfleet shuttles aboard? Something that might blend in better with the local traffic?" I ask, scanning the asteroid for any possible entry points.
User 'Negative. Extravehicular repairs can only be conducted by wearing an EV-suit.'
ChatGPT Nodding to myself, I try to figure out a different approach. "Computer, can we go unnoticed if we approach using minimal power, almost drifting like a piece of space debris?" I question, hoping for a stealthy way to get closer.
User 'Affirmative. Admiral Benson has just authorised the use of the Tactical Emergency System.'
ChatGPT "Excellent," I reply, feeling a surge of hope. "Computer, engage the Tactical Emergency System. We'll approach the facility under its cover."
With that, I brace myself for the next phase of this mission. The crew was relying on me, and I wasn't about to let them down.
User The viewscreen displays a Starfleet Officer without any kind of rank, but dressed in Command Red. He's in his mid-fourties and bald. "I'm the T.E.S. Need any assistance?"
ChatGPT A bit taken aback by the sudden appearance, I quickly gather myself. "Yes, I could use some assistance. I'm Ensign Makov, and I need to approach that mining facility stealthily. Can you help with that?" I ask, gesturing towards the viewscreen showing the asteroid field and the facility.
User "Mining facility? We'll stand out like a sore thumb. How many hours have you logged in a space suit?"
ChatGPT "Over two hundred hours," I answer promptly, "I'm comfortable with EV activities. Why do you ask?" I wonder if he's suggesting a more direct approach.
User "If you can get to one of those scrubber exhausts, I'm sure that's a way into to facility. There seems to be a cell block near the surface. I have no idea who is there, but whoever it is will probably welcome a couple of phasers and like you a whole lot. So pack a backpack full of them and get to the airlock. I'll bring us as close as possible and give you a push with the tractor beam. You up for that?"
ChatGPT I swallow the lump in my throat, apprehension giving way to resolve. "I'm up for it. Let's do this." With a determined nod, I leave the bridge to prepare for the EVA mission. This is my chance to potentially find the crew, and I'm not going to let it slip away.
User Suiting up and gathering all the handheld phasers aboard takes ten minutes, during which the T.E.S. gingerly brings the ship close to the mining facility whilst hiding behind the vast ore scowls. You open the hatch and find your self clinging on to the ship's hull.
ChatGPT I take a moment to steady my breathing, the vast expanse of space spread out before me. Gripping the phasers tightly, I brace myself for the push. "I'm ready when you are, T.E.S." I call out over the comm, my voice resolute.
User 'Okay, I'll hook on to you and give you a push. I'd suggest going in feet first, but it's up to you. Do you know what you're looking for? Those five big stacks. One of them, near that plume of smoke, seems to be offline for whatever reason. That might be your best bet.'
ChatGPT "Understood, T.E.S. I see the stacks. I'll aim for the one that's offline," I reply, aligning myself for the trajectory. I take one last deep breath, mentally preparing myself for the task ahead. "Alright...I'm ready. Let's do this."
User 'Good luck, Ensign. I'll brief any backup as soon as it gets here.' As the tractor beam finds you, you can't move a muscle. Relying on the T.ES. you just let go. It's as if a giant hand slowly throws you down a bowling lane. Feet first, you head towards the grouping of exhausts. A small, unmanned maintenance shuttle deftly gets out of your way.
ChatGPT As I float through space, I keep my focus on the target. The feeling of being pushed by an unseen force is disconcerting, but I trust the T.E.S. Every moment is crucial, and there's no room for hesitation.
As I approach the offline stack, I get ready to activate the thrusters on my suit to adjust my course if needed. I also keep an eye out for any other unexpected obstacles or threats.
User You land next to the exhaust, on the asteroid's surface. It seems impossibly high from here, but it's made of metal and your soles and gloves can easily attach to it. The only way is up. Fortunately, there's hardly any gravity. Eventually you find yourself standing on the rim of the exhaust and look down into the vast, dark chute.
ChatGPT I take a moment to look down into the dark chute, the unknown stretching out before me. I reach out to activate the flashlight on my suit, the beam of light piercing through the darkness. "I'm in position, T.E.S." I inform the ship's system, before carefully beginning my descent into the exhaust chute.
User The vast amounts of ore block your signal, even out here. There's no answer. You start the descend and pass two large rotor blades. If those weren't stationary, this would be the end of the line. But luck is on your side so far and eventually you see an access hatch when you're well below the surface. It opens easily. Let's hope it's not also an airlock for whoever is inside.
ChatGPT I hold my breath as I pull open the hatch, hoping against hope that the air on the other side is breathable. If not, I'm confident in the integrity of my suit, but I'd rather not test its limits if I don't have to. As I make my way through the hatch, I scan the area for any immediate threats, ready to defend myself if necessary.
User The scanner indicates low air pressure. Which is better than no pressure. You cross a walkway and find an actual airlock. It is unsecured, because whoever ends up here probably doesn't want to mess about with frozen keypads or mounds of dust. You engage the mechanism and soon feel the familiar sensation of artificial gravity and air pressure. It's not exactly breathable, but a tear in your suit won't kill you. Now to find the holding area. And if at all possible a rebreather, so you can ditch the suit.
ChatGPT Acknowledging the state of the air, I carefully move through the corridor, keeping my senses alert. I'm in unknown territory and every step matters. "Computer," I say into my suit's comm, "can you map the structure of this facility? Locate holding cells or life signs?"
As I move further into the facility, I keep an eye out for any equipment or gear that might prove useful, especially a rebreather. The less I stick out, the better.
User The relatively weak processor in your tricoder strains to get a bearing on this place. A dirty, seemingly abandoned tunnel dripping with condensation lies ahead. At the end there's an exit, which won't open. Time to use one of those phasers in your backpack.
ChatGPT I pull out a phaser from my backpack, checking its settings before aiming at the sealed exit. With a steady hand, I fire a low power burst at the door, hoping to cut through the obstruction without causing too much damage or noise.
User One hinge cracks under the weight of the door, now that the other one is cut through. You jump aside as the door seems to fall flat, but it remains attached to the frame. The resulting opening is just about large enough to crawl through. Now you're in a well-lit corridor with several doors. In a Starfleet EV suit.
ChatGPT Understanding the need for stealth, I decide to move as quickly as possible through the corridor. I approach the nearest door, aiming my tricoder to scan for life signs or any clue to the crew's location. My other hand remains on my phaser, ready for any immediate threats.
User One door has markings on it that you can't read. You scan it with your tricorder. 'Room of lockboxes' it says, extrapolating the characters. A room of lockboxes? Would that be a locker room?
ChatGPT "A locker room..." I murmur, piecing together the possible meaning. A locker room could mean personnel... and where there's personnel, there might be the equipment I need.
With careful steps, I approach the door to the locker room, hoping to find a rebreather or something else that could help me blend in.
User The room is deserted. It's filled with equipment, none of which seems less than a decade old but certainly useable. There is also a rack of dirty, brown overalls and a line of boots in various sizes. A dispenser offers rebreathers. There's only one left, but that's enough. The air is clear, but smells sulphuric. Without the rebreather, you wouldn't last long.
ChatGPT Relief washes over me as I find the rebreather. I quickly grab it and replace my helmet with it, testing the fit and functionality. The sulphuric smell is jarring, but it's a small price to pay for blending in.
I quickly change into the brown overalls, stowing my suit carefully in an unoccupied locker. I grab a pair of boots that match my size and put them on.
Looking at myself, I hope that I blend in well enough to not attract attention. With a deep breath, I step out of the locker room and proceed down the corridor, continuing my search for the crew.
User Footsteps sound behind you, of more than a few people. Your first instinct is to hide, but it would look very suspicous and there really isn't anywhere. However, there is a floorscrubber here, with one open panel. Someone has given up trying to repair it. Perhaps a bit of acting is in order. The footsteps are just around the corner. The language is vaguely familiar, a bastardised version of English. Whatever they're saying to each other, they're not sharing jokes, that much is clear.
ChatGPT
2 / 2
I quickly move towards the broken floorscrubber. Grabbing a nearby tool, I lean over the open panel, trying to look like I'm deeply engrossed in fixing it. I keep my ears alert to the conversation, trying to pick up on any valuable information while also readying myself for the possibility of having to interact with the approaching group.
User Let's continue with the narrative.
ChatGPT Sure, let's continue.
Glancing around the room once the miners have left, I check the lockers for anything useful, while keeping an ear out for any incoming footsteps. "Computer, any idea where the holding cells might be?" I ask quietly.
User Your tricorder beeps almost indignantly, as it has nowhere near enough processing power to even begin speculating. You're on your own until you can get to a comms terminal. The men pass behind you and one of you taps you on the shoulder. His face is blackened with ore dust. "No work. Never work again. That. Stop that." He points at the scrubber you were pretending to fix. You nod. He shakes his head and catches up with his workmates as they round a corner. Apparently you don't stand out here, which should make it easier to find the way. You follow the men, but they seem to be entering a washroom. Across it, there is a peeled off directory on the wall. A printed one.
ChatGPT "Finally, something useful," I mutter, quickly crossing the washroom to examine the directory. I look for any indications of holding cells or equivalent terminology that might hint at the location of the crew. The symbols and words are unfamiliar, so I take out the tricorder and try to use it as a translator.
User Cells being a fairly universal concept, the tricorder identifies a few scribbles with ease. If you understand the diagram correctly, you need to go up two levels and head towards the center of the structure. You double-check the presence of your backpack filled with phasers, snatch a helmet off of a shelf and press it on your head.
ChatGPT Drawing a deep breath through the rebreather, I nod to myself, mentally preparing for the upcoming challenge. "Alright, up two levels, towards the center... I can do this." I look around, searching for a way up. After locating what appears to be a ladder leading upwards, I begin my ascent.
User Two levels up you emerge from what seems to be a service hatch. A technician, dressed in torn clothes, looks somewhat surprised when you emerge. "Hello brother. Are the lifts broken?" he asks in Adari, a language you have some familiarity with. Only now do you see the horn protruding from his forehead. "I am trying to avoid someone," you say, with a knowing smile. He gives you a tired smile back. "What is your sector? I want a clean face all day too," he says.
ChatGPT "I work... the ore processors," I reply, making up a role on the spot that seems plausible, considering the location and dirty condition of most workers. "But I'd rather stay away from my boss today. He's been in a foul mood." I'm trying my best to blend in. "Can you point me to the center of the structure?" I ask, hoping the diversion worked.
User "Yeah, 'the structure'. Let's call it that. Sounds nicer than 'prison of the damned'. What do you want at the center, there's only central holding there. I never go near that place. All that wailing. Gives me the shakes," he mutters.
ChatGPT "Oh, I just... wanted to see a friend," I reply, trying to keep my tone light, while inwardly my heart sinks at his description. "Don't worry about it, I'll find my way. Thanks for the chat." I give him a quick nod before heading in the direction he had indicated earlier, hoping I'm making the right choice.
User He wasn't wrong about the wailing. As you follow the corridors, passing along scruffy workers and a couple of guards with face covering helmets who are leaning against a wall, you can hear a lot of yelling, moaning and above all the sound of defiant Klingon opera louder and louder. The voice sounds familiar, but all singing Klingons generally sound alike.
ChatGPT As I continue toward the source of the noise, I find myself in front of a heavily barred door. I can't help but suppress a smile, recognizing the defiant voice as that of Worf. "Computer," I whisper to my tricorder, "Is there a way to shut down the power to this door?"
User The tricorder scans the control panel and warbles optimistically. It then shows a graphic representation of the door, with an arrow pointing at one location and a low energy setting for a phaser.
ChatGPT Taking a moment to look around and confirm that no one is watching, I set my phaser to the recommended setting and aim at the indicated spot on the door. After taking a deep breath, I fire.
User Something inside the door clunks and it opens just enough for the seal to crack. You jam a fingernail behind it, then a finger and eventually you manage to gain enough purchase to open the door. As it slowly opens, you find yourself at the far end of a long row of cells. At the other end is a desk, with a guard sitting behind a monitor. He is staring at it intently. Perhaps the stun setting might be a good idea. You adjust the phaser and take careful aim, when an arm reached out from one of the dark cells and blocks the shot. "Uhm... he's got three buddies in there. You can't see them from here," whispers Captain Sisko.
ChatGPT "I figured you might be here, Captain," I say, lowering my phaser discreetly. "Any ideas for getting you and the rest out without causing a full-on alert?"
User "That depends. Did you bring any weapons?"
ChatGPT "I brought a backpack full of phasers. There should be enough to arm everyone here," I reply, carefully removing the backpack from my shoulder and showing the Captain.
User "Good man. Worf is next to me, then Major Kira. Let Worf take the lead on this. Worf! Help has arrived.' 'Good. I was getting bored with singing,' grumbled a familiar voice. His hand emerges from between the bars, demanding a phaser.
ChatGPT I hand the phaser to Worf, watching as his large hand swallows the device. I then pass phasers to Captain Sisko and Major Kira. With the three of them armed, the odds seem significantly better. Now, we just have to make sure the element of surprise isn't wasted.
User Fifteen seconds later, three guards sink to the floor. Although the phasers were set to stun, nobody seems particularly worried about their health. "Get their uniforms and lock them up," says Sisko. "We can walk out of here. Once we're at the shuttle docks, we can probably find something that flies." "Captain, there are three uniforms and four of us. And the others are housed on another level," says Worf.
ChatGPT "Right. I can stay behind and create a diversion while you three escape. I'll catch up," I offer. "The priority should be to get you three and as many of the others out as we can. We also need to alert Starfleet about this place. I'm sure they'd love to know about a mining facility that's been kidnapping officers."
User "That's a very daring plan, Ensign, but we leave no man behind. Kyra, you and Worf go and find the others and proceed to that place where they searched us. Anyone in uniform is a valid target. And anyone who wants to come along, can do so. The ensign and I will try to find a comms terminal and alert Starfleet. Ensign, I assume you're not alone here?"
ChatGPT "Admiral Benson is aware of the situation, sir. Backup is half a day out. Before we separated, I was under the control of the Tactical Emergency System," I report, glad to see that the Captain is taking charge of the situation.
User "Oh. I had my reservations about that system. Holographic doctors are one thing, but that went a bit too far for my tastes. Okay, phasers for everyone. Bring enough for the others. Ensign, with me."
ChatGPT "Understood, sir," I reply, distributing the remaining phasers to my colleagues and following Captain Sisko down the corridor. As we navigate through the mining facility, I stay alert for any guards or threats that may be in our way. I can feel a sense of hope and determination building up within me - we might actually make it out of here.
User "HALT!" bellows a voice behind us, immediately followed by a reddish phaser burst. The Captain turns on his heels, pushes you out of the way and fires. A guard falls to the floor. The phaser fire was detected by the security system. A klaxon starts blaring and the ceiling lights turn red. A voice starts giving unintelligible instructions over the tannoy. "We need to find a comms panel, Ensign. Any ideas?" asks Sisko, scanning the corridor for more guards. A frightened looking maintenance worker comes to see what's going on, but ducks out of the way as soon as he sees the pair of you.
ChatGPT "I remember seeing a room with a lot of terminals when I was making my way through the facility earlier, sir," I reply, my mind racing. "If memory serves, it's two corridors over, near the scrubber exhausts." I keep my phaser ready and move towards the direction of the room, all the while keeping an eye out for more guards.
User "That's the wrong way, Ensign. I imagine they have more than one place with comms terminals. You cover the rear. Follow me. Put your hand on my shoulder so you can look behind you all the time. If it wears a uniform, it's fair game."
ChatGPT "Yes, sir," I reply, placing my hand on the Captain's shoulder. I pivot and start to walk backwards, keeping my eyes and phaser focused on the path we've just traveled. The constant blaring of the klaxon mixes with the distant shouting and running steps of approaching guards. Despite the adrenaline rush, I manage to keep my aim steady and my breathing calm. The training exercises at the academy never truly prepare you for the real thing, but they do help in maintaining focus.
User You down three guards and accidentally scare the bejeezus out of a woman pushing a cleaning cart, but eventually Sisko stops. "Got it. Stand back while I blast this door." A few seconds later the corridor fills with acrid smoke from a melting door panel. Behind it is a room with several desks.
ChatGPT Entering the room cautiously, I scan the area with my phaser ready. Seeing no immediate threats, I turn my attention to the various panels and screens scattered throughout the space. The room is filled with a myriad of communication equipment - probably a central control hub for managing mining operations, worker communications, and security measures.
"Captain, I think this is it," I say, gesturing to a terminal that seems to be linked to an extensive communications network. "I should be able to send out a distress signal from here." I start to work on the terminal, trying to hack into the system and figure out how to send a message to Starfleet.
User "Try reaching the Defiant," suggest Sisko from the doorway. "OH NO YOU DON'T!" Another guard bites the dust somewhere. "Captain! WE ARE BEHIND HIM!" bellows Worf." "GOOD! Move along, we'll be there shortly. Ensign, how are you getting on?"
ChatGPT "I've managed to break through the initial security layers, Captain," I respond, my fingers moving rapidly over the terminal's interface. "It seems this system has been rigged to only accept authorized codes for communication."
Suddenly, a stroke of inspiration hits me. "Captain, when we first boarded the Defiant, I had to program my authorization codes into the ship's communication systems. If I can find a way to mimic those codes from this terminal... I might be able to trick the Defiant's systems into accepting the distress signal."
I double down on the task, focusing all my attention on reconstructing my authorization codes. As I do so, I keep an eye on the room's entryway, ready to react in case more guards show up.
User The terminal beeps and lights up. You don't understand any of the dials, but with any luck your tricorder can interface with it. Time to hail the Defiant.
ChatGPT "Defiant, this is Ensign," I say, praying the connection holds. "Requesting immediate assistance. The Captain and the crew are here, but we are currently under attack. Coordinates being transmitted now."
A static-filled silence follows. I glance at Sisko, an unspoken question in my gaze. Did it work? Did our message get through?
User "Ensign, this is the Defiant. I can't beam you out of there. Get to the shuttle dock, so that all that ore doesn't block the transporter lock. The USS Rotterdam is thirty minutes out."
ChatGPT "Understood, Defiant. We'll make our way to the shuttle dock. Be ready for us," I reply, exhaling a sigh of relief. I turn to Sisko, updating him with the situation. "Captain, we have to move. The Rotterdam is on its way but we need to get to the shuttle dock for transport."
User Worf's voice comes in through the Captain's commbadge, as it somehow manages to create a local connection. "Worf to Sisko. We have secured the shuttle dock. Mr. O'Brien is injured. Where are you?"
ChatGPT I quickly respond, "This is Ensign [Your Name]. Captain Sisko and I are en route to your position. We'll be there shortly. Hang in there, Chief." With that, I turn to Sisko and suggest, "We should move, Captain."
User "Ensign Markov and I are just behind you, Mr. Worf. Try not to pick us off as we approach. Oh and the Defiant is operating with that emergency command protocol, so it's ready to beam you up. Have Major Kira and the Chief go ahead, if possible. But hold the fort for us." "Understood, Captain. Worf out."
Five minutes and more shooting than is good for a man's digestion you reach the shuttle dock. You literally have to step over a pile of dead guards to get through the door. "Had fun, Mr. Worf? Does your phaser not come with a stun setting?" asks Sisko. "I recognized the men who took us, Sir. My finger must have slipped on the settings dial," growls Worf, looking you over to assess if you're likely to snitch. "It happens," said Sisko matter-of-factly. "Ensign, get us home."
ChatGPT Without any hesitation, I raise my commbadge and say, "Ensign Markov to Defiant. Four to beam up."
User (Okay, take it home. You're all aboard, O'Brien will live, you get a speech and a medal. Write out those events from Markov's perspective and finish off. I'll add something if you pause.)
ChatGPT As the familiar hum and sparkling light of the transporter envelops us, I take one last look at the chaotic scene we're leaving behind. My heart pounds in my chest, not from fear, but from the exhilaration of having faced danger and come out the other side. It's a rush I wasn't expecting.
When we rematerialize aboard the Defiant, a group of medics is waiting for us. They immediately rush to Chief O'Brien, but his smile and light-hearted joke assure me he'll be alright. As I step off the transporter pad, I let out a sigh of relief.
Later, back in my uniform and at a ceremony in the Defiant's Mess Hall, Captain Sisko delivers a speech. He talks about bravery, about loyalty, about the strength of Starfleet and the spirit of those who serve. He doesn't dwell on the danger we faced, but rather the courage it took to face it.
When he calls me up, handing me a medal for bravery under fire, I can't help but feel a swell of pride. The applauding faces of my crewmates, the recognition in their eyes... it's a moment I will never forget. This is why I joined Starfleet, for moments like this. To be part of something greater, to face adversity and stand tall.
"Ensign Markov," Sisko says, offering a handshake along with the medal, "Your courage and quick thinking played a crucial role in our escape. Starfleet is proud to have you among its ranks."
As I return to my quarters that night, medal in hand, I find myself smiling. Yes, today was difficult, even frightening at times. But it was also invigorating, and more than that, it was important. It's a reminder of why I'm here, of why we're all here. To explore, to protect, to boldly go...
And I wouldn't have it any other way.

HOW WE GOT HERE:
Brad Holmes is a wizard. What he has done as the Detroit GM in just 3 years has been a playoff push away from being quite remarkable, especially considering the context of succeeding prior general manager Bob Quinn which ended in typical Lions losing fashion. Brad Holmes would immediately come out swinging and first transaction as general manager was trading longtime franchise quarterback Matthew Stafford to the Los Angeles Rams in exchange for two first round picks, a third round pick, and quarterback Jared Goff. At the time, it was bittersweet for fans, as Stafford was the practically the lone bright spot in the last decade (outside of Megatron), but the haul they got in return was at least something. Stafford was injured and already likely leaving to chase a Super Bowl and Detroit was going into full rebuild mode so Detroit fans were just happy with what they could get. Brad ended up hiring a one time Head Coach, Dan Campbell. A pick made purely on the potential he would be able to change the culture with his grind it out, Football attitude Campbell was known for. All in all, it was business as usual for Detroit as they begin yet another rebuild....
​
Oh parity in sports.... You never cease to amaze us....
Somehow and someway, In Holmes' first draft, Penei Sewell falls to Detroit at #7 and the Lions draft room goes bananas on camera! At the time we did not know it, but Detroit just landed their future Pro Bowl leader in the trenches. In round 4, the Lions scoop a literal Sun God in Amon-Ra St. Brown. Little did we all know the impact both of these players would have today. Both players are arguably top 10 in their position.
Fast forward to 2022 and the Lions are coming off one of the most promising 3-13-1 seasons that you could ever ask for. The team and coaches have bought in to Dan Campbell's grind it out style of Football. The culture seemed to finally be changing and it felt like Jared Goff turning into a solid Stafford replacement, despite being considered a throw on by most in the Stafford trade.
The 2022 draft Brad Holmes' statement to the NFL. It does not matter where you take guys. If you know how to evaluate talent, you go for YOUR guys and you can be successful. Holmes was able to draft Aiden Aiden Hutchinson at #2 (some say he should have been #1), Jameson Williams (best receiver in the draft at 12 via trade), Kerby Joseph (who picked off Aaron Rodgers THREE TIMES IN ONE GAME!), and drafted James Houston and Malcolm Rodriguez in the 6th round. Both players are looking like future defensive stars. Dare I say the best 6th round success since the Pats drafted TB12? Don't @ me lol
The Lions followed up the draft with a MUCH improved 2022, landing a 9-8 winning record and going 8-2 in their final 10 games. Jared Goff is looking like the guy who took the Rams to the Superbowl, every position has young talent and this upcoming 2023 draft is looking like it could seriously push the Lions into serious playoff contention if the cards are played correctly.
​
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________
Key Offseason Additions:
CB Cameron Sutton -- Signed to three-year, $33 million contract
CB Emmanuel Moseley -- Signed to one-year, $6 million contract.
RB David Montgomery -- Signed to three-year, $18 million contract
OL Graham Glasgow -- Signed one-year, $4.5 million contract
S Chauncey Gardner-Johnson -- Signed to one-year, $8.5 million contract
WR Marvin Jones -- Signed to one-year, $3 million contract
​
Key Offseason Losses:
Safety DeShon Elliott -- Signed to one-year, $1.77 million contract with Dolphins.
Running back Jamaal Williams -- Signed to three-year, $12 million contract with Saints.
WR DJ Chark -- Signed to one-year, $5 million deal with Panthers.
________________________________________________________________________________________________________
​
Round 1: No. 12 (from CLE through HOU and ARI) – Jahmyr Gibbs, RB, Alabama
Flashback! Remember that Stafford trade where they got got the Rams draft pick? You know that pick that was supposed to be in the upper 20s because LA is so good and are coming off winning a Super Bowl? Yea, well they sucked.... Somehow they sucked so bad that that pick turned into the number 6th overall pick.
Odds makers had the Lions grabbing Devon Witherspoon as their secondary was a big need. However when Seattle took him at 5, who knew what would follow? Well, the last thing fans expected.... The Lions ended up passing on Tyree Wilson, Jalen Carter, AND Bijan Robinson by trading down to 12 to take Alabama running back, Jahmyr Gibbs. Hindsight is 2020, but reports now show the Lions wanted Jahmyr over Bijan, which means Holmes and co. got THEIR guy.
​
Immediately fans realized the inevitable. Fan favorite and oft injured running back, DeAndre Swift, was going to be cut or traded. Almost immediately they traded D'Andre Swift and a 7th round pick for the Saints' 2025 fourth-round pick and a 2023 7th round pick.
​
This pick is exactly why you and I are sitting on the couch and Brad Holmes gets paid the big bucks. "HoW cAn YoU dRaFt a RuNnInG BaCk ThAt hIgH". Well, the dude is a straight up baller. If I asked you who led Alabama in receiving last year you would probably say some 5 star Wide Receiver. It was Gibbs. Gibbs is being compared Alvin Kamara in the way he can run and catch. He was listed as running a 4.36 at the combine. Gibbs transferred to Alabama last season after spending the first two seasons of his career at Georgia Tech. He carried the ball 151 times for the Crimson Tide in 2022, averaging 6.1 yards per carry and scoring seven touchdowns. He also caught 44 passes for 444 yards and three catching scores. With the departure of Swift and the newly acquired bowling ball back in Montgomery, Gibbs is going to be an immediate impact as a "weapon" and less of a conventional running back. The thunder and lightning combo the Lions will have will be fun to watch behind their top 5 O Line.
​
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________
​
Round 1: No. 18 – Jack Campbell, LB, Iowa
"HoW cAn YoU dRaFt a RuNnInG BaCk ThAt hIgH" made sense with the Gibbs pick, but drafting a Linebacker at 18 with other glaring needs like lineman and secondary left Lions fans a bit puzzled by this pick. It hurt a little less when you remember this was their 2nd pick in the first round. Also, many people had Jack Campbell on their board for later in the draft so in terms of liking a guy for who they are, very few people are against this pick. But like I said before, Brad Holmes and Dan Campbell go after guys they have faith in. Until they screw up, fans cant complain too much!
But who is this guy and what makes him so good? Well if you care about RAS or "Relative Athletic Score" Jack is outstanding. He scored a 9.98 RAS out of a possible 10.00. This ranked 6 out of 2600 LB from 1987 to 2023. He possesses rare athleticism for being 6-5 and that allows him to be exceptional in coverage. PFF rated him as the highest coverage grade since 2018 Devin White at LSU. He also has great leadership skills as he was Iowa's team captain and won Big10 Defensive Player of the year.
Jack Campbell is going to join a much improving linebacking core that is led by team captain Alex Anzalone and 2nd year stars Malcolm Rodriguez and James Houston. The Lions will likely play him on the outside because off his athleticism but I am certain he will be moved all around the field.
​
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________
​
Round 2: No. 34 (from ARI) – Sam LaPorta, TE, Iowa
This is getting a bit out of hand for the Lions fans that appreciate positional value when you draft. Clearly Holmes has totally thrown conventional wisdom out of the window. However, tight end IS a need. Of all of the positional units Tight End is probably the weakest. In 2022 the Lions trotted Brock Wright, James Mitchell, and Shane Zylstra....WHOOOO?!?! Exactly...they needed help. Outside of when they took him, most pundits are pretty happy about this pick. Not only did the Lions get their second Iowa captain, but Sam might have landed the best tight end in the entire class.
​
With LaPorta, the Lions get a player that can do a variety of things. He can play in the slot, in-line or even out wide. This is EXTRA important when you remember that Jameson Williams is suspended for 6 games due to gambling. During his career at Iowa, he had 513 snaps in-line and 304 snaps out of the slot (per PFF). It really wouldn’t be surprising if LaPorta walks into Detroit and earns the starting tight end spot. He has the talent to do it and by being the 34th overall pick, there is going to be some high expectations for him.
​
________________________________________________________________________________________________________
​
Round 2: No. 45 (from DET) – Brian Branch, S, Alabama
For the first time all draft it felt like a player fell to Detroit and they werent reaching for their guy (for better or worse). At 45, the Lions were already drafting their 4th player and wasnt even the end of the 2nd round. Scouts said that Branch was one of the safest picks in the draft due to his lack of a jarring weakness. Branch is siad to have extremely high football IQ which led him to play all around the defense for the Crimson Tide. Branch has primarily handled nickel coverage, but has the range and instincts for single-high or split safety looks. He’s quick, fast and strong with the ability to match up with shifty slots, bigger possession receivers and pass-catching tight ends. Branch is also tough and gritty which makes himu a perfec fit for this Lions team. He has a nose for the ball and is capable of making game-changing plays. He had two interceptions and two forced fumbles during his freshman season at Bama.
Branch made headlines on draft day to be the only guy to stay into day 2 in the greenroom as he was projected to go in the first round. I think that shows how much he cares about this opportunity and has his heart in it.
Also, Branch as a great opportunity to learn from newly acquired Safety, Chauncy Gardner-Johnson who is one of the best young safeties in the league.
​
________________________________________________________________________________________________________
​
Round 3: No. 68 (from DEN) – Hendon Hooker, QB, Tennessee
You ever feeling a little uncomfortable and then you let out a massive fart and all of your uneasiness washes away? Yea, well thats the feeling Lions fans got when they landed Hendon Hooker with the 68th pick. QB wasnt a terrible need, but once we got him, a sense of relief was felt across the fanbase. When the Lions ended up getting Goff in the Stafford trade, it was sort of unsaid that Goff was just the bridge before they draft a QB of the future. However Goff has played way better than expectations and less and less fans are calling for a replacment. So, instead of using one of their first round picks on a QB, they waited and got a guy with first round updside! Now, they are in a much more confortable position at QB with a very solid back up.
The Lions used the 68th pick in order to take the former Tennessee quarterback. The pick came just before the Rams and Raiders were scheduled to pick and been teams have been seen as possible landing spots for a quarterback in this year’s draft. Hooker is recovering from a torn ACL, but his doctor recently informed teams that he is expected to be ready to go by the first week of the regular season. With Jared Goff in place as the starter in Detroit, there won’t be any need for Hooker to rush back for what will likely be a redshirt season if all goes according to plan in Detroit.
This pick was safe, exciting, and sets the Lions up with a solid back up QB. The first time that they can say that since they had Shaun Hill.
________________________________________________________________________________________________________
​
Round 3: No. 96 (from ARI) – Brodric Martin, DT, Western Kentucky
​
Before the draft, a need that was discussed as a hole in the Lions defense was interior line. They got their big boy in the middle with nose tackle, Brodric Martin. After starting his career at North Alabama, Martin transferred to Western Kentucky to play his final two seasons at the FBS level. Since 2021, Martin has played in 26 total games, and has managed to contribute 62 total tackles to the Western Kentucky cause. He’s piled up six tackles for-loss as well as four sacks, one fumble recovery and one forced fumble. This move with help the Lions run defense that ranked 4th to last in the NFL last year.
​
It is no surprise that winning is won in the trenches. The Lions have done a great job of drafting players to build out this line with the likes of Alim McNeill, Isaiah Buggs, and John Cominsky, but with big interior guys like Martin, they usually operate best in a rotation. This move should be huge in terms of depth and opening up even more opportunities for Aiden Hutchison to get to the QB.
This move didn't feel flashy, but it felt needed.
________________________________________________________________________________________________________
​
Round 5: No. 152 – Colby Sorsdal, OL, William & Mary
​
The Lions had to finally wait a bit before this pick due to moving around in the draft and trading away their pick round 4. They elected to add depth to their O-Line by taking Colby Sorsdal out of William and Mary. Sometimes its fun being the big fish in the small pond. Sorsdal started in all 46 games he appeared in during his five-year stint at William & Mary. He spent the duration of his college career at Right Tackle. Sorsdal is the first Tribe player to be drafted since 2016, when the Chicago Bears selected safety DeAndre Houston-Carson in the sixth round.
Serving as an offensive co-captain and starting all 13 games at Right Tackle, Sorsdal anchored an offensive line that helped the Tribe rank third in total rushing offense and fourth in fewest sacks allowed. Behind one of the best offensive line units in the country, the Tribe accumulated an 11-2 record and won the CAA Conference Championship for the first time since 2015.
He will be joining a elite O-line led by Penei Sewell, Frank Ragnow and Taylor Decker. Colby wont start, but he will add in needed depth for a team that's success will only goes as far as their line will take them.
________________________________________________________________________________________________________
​
Round 7: No. 219 (from HOU through MIN via PHI) – Antoine Green, WR, North Carolina
With the Lions last pick in a very intense draft, they selected Wide Receiver, Antoine Green out of UNC. Most projected Antoine to be signed to a team after the draft so it is a but of a peculiar pick. In the late 7th round, you are just hoping to take a flier on a guy and hoping they pan out.
The 6-foot-3, 199-pound receiver impressed Detroit's coaching staff at the East-West Shrine Bowl, and has the opportunity to compete for playing time his rookie season. According to NFL Draft Bible, Green is a "technically sound, fluid athlete that can give you a little bit of everything as a wide receiver. Green runs routes, it is as if he is attacking his defender rather than going about his route without considering what the defense is doing. Green has a good release off the line of scrimmage and does not get held up too much when facing press coverage. He uses his hands well to reduce contact against the press and accelerate off the line. He analyzes coverages well and makes quick decisions on how to break down his defender throughout his route. He can read zone defenses and has a knack for finding spaces to make himself an easier target."
With Jameson Williams missing 6 games to start the year, there is an opportunity for Green to poach snaps away from anyone not named Amon-Ra or Marvin Jones. There is also a chance he doesn't make it out of camp. Unlikely, but we will see.
________________________________________________________________________________________________________
​
Conclusion:
​
The 2023 NFL draft for the Detroit Lions was a resounding success. They were able to draft 6 times....BEFORE THE FOURTH ROUND!! The extra picks allowed Detroit to really control the draft and move around in a way to get the guys they wanted. They did not care about who they got and when. They just simply got the guys they wanted. After reflecting on its entirety, they landed a lot of great talent. They were able to add a player at every single positional unit and several will end up starting and making an immediate impact.
​
Look, the Lions are going to Lions so hold your breath a little longer, however Brad Holmes and Jack Campbell have really turned this franchise around and are making them a legit playoff contender. Right now the Lions are favored to win the NFC North for the first time since god knows when. I am projecting a record of 12 and 5 and a NFL North Division Win.
​
GO LIONS!!!! (FTP)

I don’t think most Mario bosses are that bad. I will prove to you that throughout the Mario series, there are only a few bad bosses of the majority. I will try and get you on the side of Mario bosses by explaining the mechanics of every single one. (with a bit of personal bias of course)
​
Super Mario Bros/Super Mario Bros: The Lost Levels:
The First Mario game’s bosses were very and I mean v e r y primitive, But I won’t fault the games or the developers, but to be fair this was one of the first games for a (fairly) Primitive console and bosses weren’t even the main focus of the game, the main focus was on the challenging platforming and level design.
​
Fake BowseBowser: The boss fights in this game are very simple but could be challenging if you don't have any power-ups with the boss throwing hammers and breathing fire, but all you have to do is either run under the boss when they jump or just jump over them.
------------------------------------------------------
Super Mario Bros 2/ Super Mario Bros U.S.A:
This game is where I’ll start getting into specific boss fights and how they work Individually.
​
Birdo Miniboss: The Birdo miniboss is a decent boss fight that can be quite challenging especially the later versions where some of the eggs the birdo shoots out are fireballs and you have to watch if the boss is firing the eggs or the fireballs to send them back.
​
Mouser: The Mouser boss fight is surprisingly fairly challenging, the fight makes you time when you’re going to grab the bombs so you don’t get blown up and time when and where you throw the bombs on Mouser’s platform so the bombs will harm him.
​
Tryclyde: The Tryclyde fight, (for me at least) is pure panic as the boss shoots its fireballs at you in a near-constant spew while you have to throw the mushroom blocks at the boss and make sure to dodge the fire shot at you.
​
Fryguy: The fight against Rryguy is also about timing as you have to dodge the raining fire from the boss in the first phase while you grab the mushroom blocks and throw them at the boss until it blows up. The second phase however can be very annoying trying to hit the Small fryguys while dodging them jumping at you.
​
Clawgrip: The Clawgrip fight is admittingly very slow but it can be pretty engaging to dodge the hurled rocks and send them back to the boss.
​
Mask Gate: The mask gate fight is probably the best in the game purely because of the sense of shock. The gates usually mark the end of the level and a moment of peace after the boss you just fought. Although the fight itself is pretty lackluster, the gate only flies around the room from side to side as you throw the mushroom blocks at the boss, the only challenge being dodging the boss when you throw the block at them.
​
Wart: The wart fight can be very challenging with wart spitting out his bubbles in a line with the player having to dodge the gaps in between while throwing the vegetables from the dream machine at the obese toad.
------------------------------------------
Super Mario Bros 3:
The third game from the Mario series has some admittedly boring bosses as pretty much all of the main bosses are the same with only about two being unique.
​
Boom-Boom Miniboss: Boom-Boom is what most people think of when they say Mario bosses are bad and easy, and I agree the only “danger” is that Boom-Boom may show his spikes before you land on him to “trick” you.
​
Koopalings (Besides Lemmy/Wendy): 5 of the seven Koopalings are all the same fight with very minor changes such as the ground shaking or the boss moving faster, the Koopalings mostly just fire three magic rings in your direction and jump at you when you stomp on them.
​
Lemmy: The Lemmy fight is Different from the Koopalings, as Lemmy fires his bouncing balls at Lemmy and rolls around on the ball after you hit him, this doesn't mean it's hard as I don’t even think Lemmy can harm you unless you just jump right into him.
​
Wendy: The Wendy fight is unique as instead of three rings Wendy summons hoops that will bounce around the room making it pretty difficult to jump on Wendy’s head since the hoops will damage you while you’re in mid-air making it impossible to dodge away from the hoops shot by her.
​
Bowser: The Bowser fight is probably the best in the 8-bit era of Mario. The Koopa King will spit fire at Mario, The King Koopa will also try to shoot the fire in random directions to try to fool Mario into jumping into them, The Koopa King will also try to Ground-Pound on Mario, But this is also how you defeat him because the floor is made from breakable blocks, Mario has to guide Bowser into Ground-Pounding onto the same spot of blocks until he ground bounds into the pit below the blocks, Overall being a great boss fight.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Super Mario Land:
The bosses of Super Mario Land are Fairly unique and different from many 2d Mario bosses with Most of them being similar to Shmup bosses.
​
King Totomesu: The King Totomesu fight is a copy of the original boss fights from Super Mario Bros. The only real difference is that Totomesu can only be Jumped over to beat.
​
Dragonzama: This boss fight is one of the three Shmup bosses in the game the boss is slightly challenging while the boss moves up and down on the screen shooting fireballs periodically alone is pretty easy to dodge, the real challenge comes with the energy ball that bounces around the screen making you stay on edge during the fight.
​
Hiyoihoi: This boss is probably the worst of the bunch being more of a platforming challenge than a fight as the boss throws boulders at Mario, Mario having to jump on top of the boulders to get past the stone head.
​
Boikinton: This boss is the second shmup boss and probably the best, the boss is fairly hectic as the cloud bounces around the boss arena and fires homing flying chickens at Mario. The Chickens can be fairly hard to dodge as the boss bounces around the arena making it hard to dodge the chickens and the cloud at the same time.
​
Tatanga: Tatana is the final boss of Super Mario Land And is the final shmup boss of the game Tatanga fires large cannon balls at Mario that explode into three cannon balls when shot by Mario’s ship. This boss is overall a pretty good final boss and a very fun fight.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Super Mario World:
This is the first 16-bit game of the Mario series and is widely known as one of the best 2d Mario games, but most people say that the bosses in the game are lackluster but I say otherwise. Let me explain.
​
Iggy/Larry Koopa: These fights take place on a shell-like platform that teeters from left to right, Mario has to jump on the Koopa to send them back and knock them into the lava below, The Bosses will roll fireballs down the platform at Mario. The Larry fight’s only real difference is the Lava bubbles that leap from the lava below making the fight more difficult by its environment, overall being pretty good boss fights.
​
Morton/Roy Koopa: These boss fights take place in an arena with two walls on each side that the boss will use to climb up the walls of the arena and leap down from the ceiling once they’re right above Mario, when the boss slams on the floor they will shake the ground causing Mario to be stunned in place unless he is in the air, this is dangerous as the boss will then walk over to Mario to try and damage him getting harder each time as the boss gets faster after every hit and the walls will also close in after every hit (only in Roy’s fight). This fight is fairly amazing.
​
Lemmy/Wendy: These fights are, In my opinion, the best boss out of the three bosses that are shared between two Koopalings, The boss will pop out of the pipes on the bottom of the arena along with two decoy Koopalings that will damage you if you try and jump on them along with one lava bubble that bounces around the arena (two in the wendy fight), The only major difference between the two fights is that the Lemmy fight’s pipes are different heights and in the Wendy fight they’re completely level with each other.
​
Ludwig Von Koopa: The Ludwig fight is my favorite boss in the game being nothing but a 1v1 against the Oldest Koopaling With Ludwig hopping around the arena making it pretty hard to jump on his head, his main attack is spitting horizontally moving fireballs at Mario making Mario have to jump over the fireballs to get to Ludwig and jump on his head. One of the best parts of the fight (in my opinion) Is after you hit Ludwig when he goes into his shell and slides around the arena at high speeds to damage Mario.
​
The Big Boo: The Big Boo boss fight is a surprise being the first of the two secret boss fights in the game, the fight involves throwing grabbable blocks from under Mario at the big boo. The challenge comes from the two smaller boos that constantly go after you during the fight and the fact that you cannot constantly attack the big boo because they become incorporeal after you attack him once. This fight is a surprise since you can go through the entire game without even encountering the big boo.
​
Reznor: The Reznor fight is the second secret fight of the game this time with an entire secret fortress level beforehand, the four Reznors are on a Ferris wheel and Mario has to bump the platform the Reznors are on to defeat them while the Reznor's spit fireballs at Mario after the second reznor is defeated the floor will start breaking making Mario have to jump on the Ferris wheel and try to dodge the dino’s fireballs and defeat the Reznor at the same time, being a great fight
​
Bowser in the Clown Car: This Bowser fight is a very engaging battle with the Koopa king throwing down Big metal balls on top of Mario and sending down exploding m\Mechakoopas that Mario has to throw back at Bowser, After The King Koopa gets hit 3 times by the Throne Mecha Koopas he will fly above the boss arena and send down fireballs from the Clown car That can be tricky to dodge at the moment, hitting Bowser 3 more times will cause Bowser to crash ending the fight and saving the day.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Super Mario Land 2: 6 Golden Coins:
The bosses of Super Mario Land 2:6 Golden Coins are fairly simple with most of the bosses only having 1 or 2 attacks they use through the fight to make them unique.
​
Big Bird: The big bird boss fight is the most simple boss in the game but is also one of the most engaging with the Bird periodically swooping down from one of the top corners of the boss arena making Mario time when he jumps on top of his head or risk getting hit by the Bird.
​
Tatanga: the Tatanga boss fight is a surprising reveal with Mario having just defeated Tatanga in the previous Mario Land game. In the fight, Tatanga flies on either the right or left side and fires out energy beams from the front of his spaceship and also fires explosive balls from the bottom of his spaceship this causes Mario to have to jump over them to avoid taking damage, but Mario also must avoid jumping too high as to not get hit by the laser beam that is fired from Tatanga's spaceship.
​
Sewer rat: The sewer rat tried to attack Mario by ramming its spikes nose into him and will try to accomplish this by using the many pipes in the boss arena to try and trick Mario into not knowing where the rat is going to pop out from, the rat will also run on top of the ceiling to try and land on top of Mario when they are right above him.
​
Witch: The witch has a pretty fun fight with Mario standing on three pots, the Witch will show up on either the right or left side of the boss arena and will fire a fireball at the bottom of the pots making the pot lid rise into the spikes on the ceiling hurting Mario if Mario gets launched with the lid, Mario must jump on top of the witch when she appears and make sure no to get launched into the ceiling after he lands back on the pots.
​
The Three Little Pigs: This boss fight is unique with it having 3 phases (Being each of the pigs) With their separate way to attack Mario and each taking 3 hits to defeat. Starting with the first little piggy who rolls around on the ground gaining speed every time Mario jumps on his head, Then the second little piggy who jumps from left to right in an arc that can be pretty tricky to dodge, the third little piggy zig-zags around from left to right in the arena, this can make it tricky to land a hit on the pig because the pattern of the zig-zag is quite unpredictable.
​
Octopus: this is the most simple boss of the game with it being able to be defeated in seconds if you try hard enough, The octopus will swim around the boss arena and spawn little octopi that swim up and off the screen, an easy boss fight overall.
​
Wario: the Wario fight is an amazing fight with Wario using the same powerups and moves that Mario does throughout his adventure in three phases. The first phase of the fight starts with Wario running around the boss arena and jumping at Mario causing a stunning earthquake when he lands Mario has to jump to avoid being stunned and also avoid the falling disco balls that move horizontally from the ceiling. For the second phase of the boss, Wario will use the Bunny Cap to fly into the air above Mario and once he's directly above Mario he'll fall onto the ground trying to crush Mario under his girth. In the last phase, Wario will use the Fire Flower and throw giant fireballs at Mario that travel at him in a spiral and try to run towards Mario Simply jump on his ugly head three times and he'll shrink into the little greedy jerk he is Ending the game and giving Mario his mansion back!

Chapter VI
The first land we sighted after leaving Sydney was the Three Kings, New Zealand. We had run before a fair wind up to this time, and had come into what was regarded as a good whaling ground. Now every eye was scanning the horizon, since a bottle of grog was promised to the man who should first sight a whale. I had been on the port watch since I came on board under Mr Hawkins, the chief mate, and one evening, just as our watch below was ending, I went aloft to see the sun set. Against the broad, red horizon I saw some dark objects spouting and tumbling. In an instant I had shouted “Whales ho!” to claim the bottle of grog. “Where away?” was the skipper's question. “On the lee bow, sir.” For an instant he scanned the spot with his glass, an anxious moment for me lest I should have mistaken a shoal of porpoises for a school of whales, and not only lose my prize but expose myself to the ridicule of my fellow sailors. “Right you are, it's whales, sure enough; you have won your grog, lad.”
We had no time to lose; the night would soon be on us, and our chance would be lost. Down went the boat with Ned Farne, our harpooner, in the bows ready to launch his weapons when opportunity offered. On came the school, tumbling and blowing, throwing jets of water ten or fifteen feet into the air, causing a very grand yet terrible scene. At length they got almost within range; the boys were pulling like mad to keep up with the pace the whales were swimming at. We saw Ned rise up in the bows, poise his arm back for an instant, then launch the harpoon straight for the huge back of the fish that was nearest to him. The aim was true, the missile was buried over the barb in the soft blubber beneath the outer skin, and away went the whale dragging the harpoon rope after it so rapidly that they had to pour water upon the side of the boat to prevent it from igniting, through the violent friction. Again the huge creature rose to breathe, and another harpoon was driven into it, causing it once more to rush away through the water at lightning speed. Darkness fell over the scene before they had killed it, and the boat remained by the carcase all night to prevent it sinking. When morning came it was a busy scene on board, preparing to cut it in and try it out. At length the task was completed, and five large sacks of oil were secured; not a large yield certainly, but the foretaste of better things, we hoped. We cruised over the same ground for several days, but saw no more whales, accordingly we stretched across to Curtis' Island, about 500 miles to the north-east, where in about a month we got five or six more, some of them giving very fair yields of oil. After this we ran down upon Norfolk Island, where we fell in with the Mercury, schooner, Captain Barnet, also on a whaling cruise from Tasmania. From her we shipped two additional hands, and then made for Moreton Bay, on the coast of Queensland. Here not a solitary fish was to be seen, therefore we ran back for our old ground off Curtis' Island. Scarcely had we arrived when we fell in with a heavy gale from the north-east, raging for twenty days, in which we had to heave to, not being able to show a rag of sail. On the 21st day, when the wind began to lull, we found ourselves off the Three Kings, a drift of more than 500 miles. We had shipped such heavy seas, and the force of the storm had been so great, that our tryworks had been carried away, and three of our boats stove in. Therefore we bore up for the Bay of Islands, where we arrived on the 10th of April, 1811, anchoring as before off Te Puna. We were the only vessel in the bay at the time, though others entered during our stay.
The same day that we reached our anchorage a chief named Taua Makia came aboard to take care of us and watch over our interests, lest we should be swindled in trade or otherwise maltreated. This considerate proceeding was not disinterested, but the ‘consideration’ expected was not large. The Skipper ordered a boat to go ashore and bring a load of gravel to serve as shot for our guns since this had been omitted in the ship's supplies, and the natives were not to be trusted, even though we had a protector. The news had spread like wild-fire that a ship was at anchor in the bay, and already scores of canoes were being launched to pay a visit to the pakeha, but we loaded our guns, and pointing them astern, ordered all the visitors to keep back, which, after a little demur and grumbling they did. Nevertheless, all throughout our stay, they never desisted in the attempt to get on board, considering it a gross breach of hospitality on our part to deny them the privilege. As our example was imitated by Captain Walker, of the Endeavour brig, that came in a few days after us, having on board two missionaries for Tahiti - Messrs Davidson and Williams - the natives concluded that in us they had got a very bad and uncivil customer to deal with.
Meantime we had commenced work upon the repairs of the vessel. Nearly all our spars had been carried away, together with our jibboom and some of the bulwarks; we had lost every boat but one, and small leaks were demanding attention, We bad two sawyers on board, and as Captain Walker had three whom he lent us for the time, our skipper thought it best to put the ship thoroughly to rights here, in place of putting back to Sydney. Accordingly, the sawyers went ashore, rigged up the pits, and commenced work vigorously. But the Maoris did not exactly see the force of this. They imagined that we were concocting some diabolic scheme of destruction against them in making such extensive preparations, which they considered as in some way identified with our worship. They pulled down the works and threatened to kill the sawyers if they attempted to resume operations. But a volley from the vessels soon scattered them, and a strong guard being picked from the crews of both ships, they were hereafter permitted to labour uninterruptedly. During this time, I had considerable liberty granted to me to go ashore, or to go fishing with Taua Makia. The first time I availed myself of the former privilege, I received as great a scare as ever I had in my life. Three of us had been wandering about in a bit of bush near the Keri-Keri River, trying to find our way back to the saw-pits, when suddenly we issued upon a cleared space, in which were a few houses and patches of cultivation. Before the entrance to one of the whares stood a band of females crowned with chaplets of green leaves, and wringing their hands. One of these, an elderly woman, who seemed to act as chief mourner upon the occasion, and had a chaplet of dog's hair round her temples, different from the others, advanced in front and began to throw her arms about, raising her head and eyes to heaven. Whilst doing this, in a very plaintive quavering tone, she commenced a wailing song, in which she was joined by her companions. I was afterwards initiated into this, and now give a specimen of a funeral lament: -
Taku hei he piripiri (my fragrant bundle the piripiri) Taku hei moki-moki (my fragrant bundle the mokimoki) Taku hei tawiri (my fragrant bundle the tawiri) Taku kati taramea (my sweet juice of the taraniea) Te hei o te pounamu (the companion of the greenstone) I haramai ai - e (is gone - alas, upon) I runga te angai-ia-ana (the angai-e-).
It was the tangi, or wail for the dead. But at this period I knew nothing of Maori customs or ceremonies, and my very hair began to rise with horror as I thought perhaps they might be celebrating some human sacrifices. Our fear kept us quiet. In the thick bush we lay watching the scene, overshadowed by the gloom of a gigantic kauri-tree, and wishing ourselves anywhere but in our present predicament. When the sorrowful song was ended, and the females had entered the whare, we noiselessly strove to retrace our steps, and chance favouring us, we came out a mile or two from where the sawyers were at work. As I afterwards discovered, no duty is so sacred or so obligatory as the interment of the dead, no trouble being considered too great, no expense too excessive, no lamentation too extreme to testify to the respect in which the deceased was held on earth, and to raise him in the estimation of the mysterious spirits to whom he had gone. Taua Makia sometimes went with us fishing to induce the prey to come upon hooks by the constant chanting of Karakias or incantations, supposed to have a very potent influence over the finny tribe. I cannot say we were ever very successful when he was with us, since the noise he made and the fishing gear he would insist upon employing were neither conducive to lure the fish to our bait, nor to hold them when they were hooked. But this, of course, may have been merely an ignorant pakeha's prejudice, since many a lusty kahawai or schnapper, have I caught with a hook made from a dead man's bone. Don't wince, reader; better, is it not, to be put to some use after death, than to feed a legion of hungry worms.
We began to mix a little with the natives when ashore, and I grew more familiarised with their ways. We attended their baptisms, He Tohi, and gave presents to the infant, that it never enjoyed; we consulted the Niu, or divining sticks, whether we should reach home in safety; we were present at their marriage tauas, when the bride was carried off by main force sometimes minus her clothing, finally we were guests at their hakaris, or feasts, and could vouch for the excellence of Maori culinary skill. But we shall have enough of these in the course of the narrative, the reader shall eat and drink to his heart's content but at present we must keep to the thread of our story.
In a fortnight the sawyers had finished their work ashore, a week more completed the repairs aboard, and whatever little trade we had carried on completed, the skipper thought of standing out to sea again. In some mysterious way or other, I had offended the old bosun of our ship, and he had persecuted me with most relentless malice. Nothing I could do was right, the rope's end was my daily sauce, and complaints about my laziness were continually being carried to the captain. At length one day, irritated by their constant occurrence, he said when another of my misdeeds was laid before him, “String him up then, and give him a dozen.” This was just what the bosun wanted; and in a trice he strung me up to the mast, and a good round dozen I received, being only released when nearly fainting with pain and shame. He had got the best of it just now; my day of retribution came again. Now, this method of instructing me in navigation was by no means to my taste, and as two of our men had absconded the day previous, concealed, as was thought, in the bush, I imagined I could emulate their example, perhaps, to join them. At least, I should first go to the Endeavour, as she lay nearer the shore, if not, the bush it must be. Therefore, waiting my opportunity, about 3 o'clock one morning I slipped overboard and swam noiselessly to the companion ship. As I came alongside puffing and blowing, thoroughly exhausted with the long swim, and almost inclined to give up the business, the carpenter, who was acting as bosuns mate in the Endeavour for the time, saw me, and flung me a rope, by which I climbed on deck. I told him my story, and as he was a decent sort of a fellow, he was slipping me quietly along the deck to the foc'sle, when the second mate saw us and demanded to know what I wanted there. With my usual readiness, I invented a tale of a morning swim and exhaustion, but the story would not hold water, and the captain was informed of my arrival. As soon as morning broke he sent over to the Harwich, telling Captain Simmons that I was on board his vessel, and about nine our skipper came over with two men to take me back. Reluctantly enough I went, as I knew a flogging was in store for me, but to my surprise the captain only took me into his cabin and rated me soundly for my foolhardiness in risking my life thus, telling me I escaped a flogging by his having discovered many of the bosuns stories to be untrue. My condition was now better on board, as I was taken aft, and kept under the captain's own eye. My enemy, the bosun, was speechless with rage, yet he was powerless now to do me harm.
About a week after this the Endeavour sailed, Captain Walker having come on board the Harwich and taken a very friendly farewell of our skipper, and a fortnight afterwards we followed suit, going back to our old cruising ground at the Three Kings. The weather was very uncertain and squally, so that we did not see any whales; therefore we stretched over to Norfolk Island, and speedily were busy at work.
The first day we arrived we secured three whales, which we cut in and tried out, the third day two more, and the fifth day another. Then our luck seemed to change, and not a solitary fish could we see for an entire month. We tried all our former grounds, Curtis' Island, Moreton Bay, Three Kings, to no purpose, only when off the East Cape did we catch sight of a small whale, which we secured but only got one barrel of oil from it. The weather now began to be very stormy; winter was at its depth, and the air was piercingly cold. Therefore Captain Simmons concluded to break the cruise, to run for Sydney, discharge his cargo of oil, and commence anew. Another consideration, also, was that several of the men were very ill with scurvy and dysentry - in fact, the crew was only at half at its usual complement, therefore the cry was “about ship,” and “Sydney ho!”
It was whilst running home before a fine fresh breeze, that one night we were knocked up by Mr Hawkins singing out, “Ship on fire on the weather bow.” The shock was electrical. Everyone bundled out of their hammocks and rushed on deck. There on the horizon was a grand and terrible spectacle. A large ship was burning from stem to stern, lighting up the gloom of the winter's night for miles around, throwing a deep lucid glare over the inky ocean. The flames were bursting up the hatches, were licking the masts and spars, were peeping out in little forked tongues through the portholes. The captain ordered lights to be burned at the masthead, blank charges to be fired from the guns every minute, and the jolly-boat to be manned and to go in search of survivors. In an hour our efforts were rewarded by three boat-loads of fear-stricken men boarding us and asking reception. They informed us that the burning ship was the “Lady Lucy” from Sydney to London, that she had caught fire when a week out, from a burning candle falling into an oil cask, and that over 50 lives had already been lost through the capsizing of two of their boats. Captain Simmons made them welcome, and a few days after we reached Sydney, where they were taken in hand by the Government and forwarded home by the next vessel. Thus ended my voyage in the Harwich, perhaps the most pleasant of all my trips.

The Bullhorn is a weekly newsletter for the Ansible Community
Subscribe here <--
If you have anything to share about what you’ve been up to with Ansible lately, at any time, simply hop into #social:ansible.com (the Ansible Social room on Matrix) and leave a message, tagging newsbot. Your update will then be included in the next edition of the Bullhorn (pending editor approval, of course).
Here's The Bullhorn #104 newsletter:

KEY DATES ⏱️

cybette said

• 2023-06-06: DaWGs meeting, 15:00 UTC
• 2023-06-07: Community WG meeting, 18:00 UTC (propose topics here)
• 2023-06-08: Bullhorn #105 content deadline, 18:00 UTC
• 2023-06-19: ETA for Ansible-Core 2.13.11, 2.14.7 and 2.15.1
• 2023-06-20: ETA for Ansible 7.7.0 release
• 2023-06-20: ETA for Ansible 8.1.0 release

GENERAL NEWS UPDATES 🔈️

Gwmngilfen contributed

Ansible Project Mission Statement - have your say!

As part of our efforts to strengthen the community this year, it seemed right to make sure that the aims of the project - as a whole - are clearly communicated.
We've been around a while, and while automation is clearly central, we have a variety of statements like "a radically simple IT automation system", "Automation for everyone", or "open-source automation that is simple, flexible, and powerful". We called out "fragmentation" in the community strategy, and this is a great example of it in action - we're not being consistent in our message.
So, we thought it might be time to ask you all - What does Ansible mean to you?. Give us your thoughts! We'll use the data to inform the work on making this consistent, and we'll update you on the results later in the summer.

Don Naro said

As you might know the Ansible 8 package is going to be released soon! We're preparing to publish the documentation and would like to ask the community for review of docs on the test site here.
If you see any issues, missing content, or have any comments, please drop by the Docs channel on Matrix or add a comment to our docs checklist issue. Thanks!
Editor's note: This issue of The Bullhorn will be published after the release of Ansible 8.0.0. However, you are still welcome to review the docs for this release (and in general) and share your feedback anytime! In fact, I just submitted a docs PR while compiling this newsletter issue 😊

MAJOR NEW RELEASES 🏆️

Ansible ↗ 📦️

The Ansible package includes ansible-core and is a batteries-included package that provides a curated set of Ansible collections. See the Ansible roadmaps for future release plans.
chadams contributed

Ansible 8.0.0 is out! ❤️
💽You can install it by running the following command or download the release tarball directly from pypi:
pip install ansible==8.0.0 --user
➡️ Check Release Notes📦️🗒️ and Ansible 8 Porting Guide for more details!

anwesha said

Ansible 7.6.0 is out! ❤️
💽You can install it by running the following command or download the release tarball directly from pypi:
pip install ansible==7.6.0 --user
➡️ Check Release Notes📦️🗒️ and Ansible 7 Porting Guide for more details!

Ansible-Core ↗ ⚡️

The ansible-core package contains the base engine and a small subset of modules and plugins. To see what's planned for the next release, look at the ansible-core roadmaps.
cybette contributed

New releases: ansible-core 2.13.10 and ansible-core 2.14.6.

PROJECT UPDATES 🛠️

Ashwini Mhatre shared

Updates from Ansible networking team. * We have enabled periodic jobs through GHA for network collections. * We are working on community.ioscm collection which works for iosxe on controller mode, when the appliance is in sd-wan infrastructure! * IRC Meeting changes. * We want someone who will look into ansible-lint fixes for community.network collection.

COLLECTION UPDATES 🪄

andersson007_ said

The community.mysql collection version 3.7.2 has been released! Special thanks to betanummeric for fixing the blocker!

Ashwini Mhatre contributed

We're happy to announce the following networking collection updates: * cisco.iosxr 5.0.3 has been released with bugfixes (changelog) * cisco.nxos 4.4.0 has been released with new features (changelog) * vyos.vyos 4.1.0 has been released with new features (changelog)

mariolenz shared

It looks like the netapp.azure collection is effectively unmaintained. According to the current community guidelines for collections, we consider removing it in a future version of the Ansible community package. Please see Unmaintained collection: netapp.azure for more information or to announce that you're interested in taking over the maintenance of (a fork of) netapp.azure.
At least one month after this announcement appears here and in the collection's issue tracker, the Ansible Community Steering Committee will vote on whether this collection is considered unmaintained and will be removed, or whether it will be kept. If it will be removed, this will happen earliest in Ansible 10. Please note that you can still manually install the collection with ansible-galaxy collection install netapp.azure even when it has been removed from Ansible.

mariolenz shared

The netapp.aws collection is considered unmaintained and will be removed from Ansible 10 if no one starts maintaining it again before Ansible 10. See the removal process for details on how this works.
Please note that you can still manually install the collection with ansible-galaxy collection install netapp.aws even when it has been removed from Ansible.

HELP WANTED 🙏

samccann shared

We're looking for good sample commands and commonly used flags for the Ansible CLI commands so we can create a cheatsheet for users. Please add your favorites to this issue.

Don Naro said

Help us improve the HTML landing pages on docs.ansible.com with some better Jinja templating! Find out how to get involved and contribute to our improved content experience here.

PROPOSALS - DISCUSS AND VOTE! 🗳️

felixfontein shared

There is an active community vote on a proposal for the Ansible 9 roadmap. If you are interested, please check out the proposal or the associated discussion issue, and feel free to cast a vote for or against the proposal.

COMMUNITY UPDATES 👂️

steampunks said

We’re happy to announce that Spotter 2.0 was released and brings many new and enhanced enterprise-ready features and checks, such as custom policies, assisted writing feature, security checks, and more.

COMMUNITY EVENTS AND MEETUPS 📅

Sean Sullivan said

The Infra config as Code collection group will have a Public Office hours meeting on June 8th at 9am EST/1pm UTC. Details here.

cybette contributed

Several upcoming Ansible meetups! Check out the details in the links: * June 7 - Québec/Montréal (online) - Rencontre juin 2023 * June 8 - Bern - 3. Ansible Meetup Bern * June 15 - Minneapolis - AnsibleFest/Summit 2023 Announcements Recap * June 17 - Benelux - Ansible AAP Meetup

THAT'S ALL FOR NOW!

Have any questions you’d like to ask, or issues you’d like to see covered? Please ask in #social:ansible.com! See you next time!

I'll say it here and to anyone who asks - Happy Salmon is a perfect game. It's an actual ten. Happy Salmon is a work of frantic genius. Which is impressive, considering it's barely a game. I'm getting ahead of myself though, let's take a look at what it is first.
Happy Salmon is a real-time game in which players are trying to get rid of a deck of cards by performing the actions on it together with another player. There's four actions; a high five, a fist bump, switching places with another player, and the titular "happy salmon" where players slap each-other's forearms in a way that's meant to simulate a fish flapping around in dry land. During a game of Happy Salmon, you're trying to find another player to perform the action you have at the top of your deck with. Found another player with the same card at the top of their deck? Perform the action, drop the card and you're off to your next brief stint of team work! Can't find anyone? Put that card on the bottom of your deck and try your luck with the next card. First player to go through their deck all the way, wins!
Now I'm normally not one for real-time games for two reasons. One, I'm not usually good at keeping track of multiple simultaneously changing points of data (which is why I'm so bad at Ligretto, for example) or they're much too loud (which is why I don't like Pit or On A Scale of One to Dinosaur). Happy Salmon gets around both of those by being very, very brief and by inherently being about cooperation. The data points still change pretty quickly, but the other players are interested and invested in working together with you - matching with you means they get closer to winning as well! And even though the game is still loud, the loudness is hyper-condensed to a brief two-minute burst where people just mostly shout the name of an action before quickly moving on. But the cooperation aspect is really why I like this game a lot.
Boardgames as a competition have something kind of cutthroat to them. I don't mind that at all, in fact I particularly love that, but there's something really nice about a game that rewards the winner for essentially being the best at working together with their opponents. Sure there's randomness; the cards don't all come out in the same order, so the person drawing all their fist bump cards while everyone else is doing high fives and slapping forearms is going to have a harder time winning. I just don't really mind it that much when the game is as short as this though. Besides, one of my friends (who's won the most games of Happy Salmon) mostly won because he was good at figuring out when to move on from the card he was holding - he won not because his deck is shuffled the best, but because he's good at figuring out when the thing he's holding doesn't work with what the others have.
But really, I just love Happy Salmon so much because it has generated some of my favourite memories of me playing games ever. When my friends last came over to play serious games, I pulled this out as an ice breakewarmup game, and we ended up playing the final game without shirts on so we could more more quickly (as we were now obviously more aerodynamic). When I went to my first boardgame night with all new people, they suggested I play one round of this before I left. It was quite late and I didn't know these people, but I did it anyway because they promised it was quick and they were excited about it. After moving a table outside (so we wouldn't bother the others), we played six games in ten minutes and it was the most fun I had all evening.
Happy Salmon is really, really, really good. Not necessarily because it (used to) come(s) in a fish, or because its mechanics are revolutionary or because you'll be challenged mentally and spiritually while playing; it's so good because it makes some of the best use of the players that are standing around the table. If you don't mind getting a little bit silly with the people you're with and don't mind coming into physical contact with other players, you're going to have an absolute blast with this game.

The TNT Championship has lost a lot of prestige over the 18 months and its very difficult to get invested in the belt when it changes hands so often. There hasn’t been a great TNT Champion since Miro and this is my attempt to fix its current trajectory.
At the time of writing, Wardlow is the current champion. He cuts a promo on the May 31st episode of Dynamite saying this belt used to be defended weekly on Dynamite and starting tonight that is going to be the case again and he issues an open challenge daring anyone to step into Wardlow’s world. Out comes Ethan Page with arguing with Matt Hardy, who tells him he has to prove his worth to him and the best way to do that would be to accept Wardlow’s open challenge. After some complaints, he gets in the ring and Wardlow throws him around whilst he tries to avoid his high-impact offence, ultimately to no avail. After the match, Matt says that next week he’ll challenge Wardlow to show Ethan how its done. Hardy is much bolder than Ethan was is in his match against Wardlow, taking the fight to him and never once dodging him. Of course, the big man gets the win after the Powerbomb Symphony.
After this, he has a string of defences against a variety of midcarders and forgotten AEW stars including Big Bill, Lance Archer, Swerve Strickland, Kip Sabian, Brian Cage, El Hijo Del Vikingo, Hook and Keith Lee. After defending against Luchasaurus at FyterFest, Wardlow is attacked by old rival Powerhouse Hobbs. Hobbs says that whilst Wardlow was pretending to be a fighting champion, he was ducking the one man who deserved a shot most, the man who he never even offered a rematch to because he knows he couldn’t beat him again; and that man is Powerhouse Hobbs. Wardlow says he has been defending the belt weekly, which means Hobbs could have had his rematch at any time but instead he decided to attack from behind like a coward. He is right about one thing though; I am a fighting champion and therefore he will give him a rematch because he’s not afraid of him; he just has to name the time and the place. Hobbs says Wardlow may as well have dug his own grave by asking him to name the time and place and says he’ll he see him at All In in at Wembley in a Falls Count Anywhere match. Hobbs wins after a Powerhouse Slam onto a car. On the Dynamite in-between All In and All Out, Wardlow says he’s not gonna wait for his rematch and cashes in his rematch clause for All Out, this time in a Chicago Street Fight. This is another brutal affair in which Hobbs comes out on top after a distraction from AEW World Champion MJF. This frees Wardlow up to pursue his former mentor, win the Eliminator tournament and ultimately dethrone MJF at Winter is Coming.
Hobbs goes on a monster run with the belt defeating opponents across Dynamite & Rampage. His first major feud is with Orange Cassidy; who dropped the International title to PAC at All In. After burning the candle at both ends for the past few months, Cassidy decides to chill for a few weeks before showing his more serious side again and decides he wants to be the face of the network. Hobbs just laughs at Cassidy and dismisses him as a joke in the build to their match at Full Gear. This feud is the most serious we have ever seen Cassidy and he puts up a brave fight against Hobbs as he fights from underneath, hitting him with snug strikes and showing off his rarely seen technical wrestling skills. It is to no avail however as Hobbs overpowers the piece of fruit and eventually retains his championship.
After this, Hobbs says Cassidy may have brought the fight to him, but now he wants more serious challengers; people worthy of entering the book of Hobbs. Up steps former TNT Champion Miro. Miro says he’s aware he has been away for some time, however he has been watching from afar whilst Hobbs has been entering people into his “book” and tells him that he is someone who needs redeeming and luckily for him the redeemer is here to do just that and take back his prize. Hobbs says Miro has been away for months and can’t just waltz out here and challenge the TNT Champion to a match but he accepts anyway, wanting to send the Redeemer back to wherever he’s been. The match happens at Winter Is Coming and is a hoss battle as the two just throw each other around the ring for a good 12 minutes before Hobbs retains.
Heading into Revolution 2024, Hobbs wants to know who’ll be the next entry into the Book of Hobbs when he is interrupted by an old friend turned foe, Ricky Starks. Starks says he and Hobbs go way back and he’s been watching as Hobbs has torn his way throw the roster but he knows him better than anyone and says the last time they thought he kicked his arse. Hobbs admits he may’ve gotten the better of him last time but since then Starks has been the Janetty to his Shawn Michaels. The match is set for Revolution and they tell a story of friends turned enemies over their pursuit of individual glory. Starks becomes the new TNT Champion after 15 engrossing minutes. Lower down the card, Swerve wins the Face Of The Revolution Ladder Match. Starks says the Revolution will indeed now be televised as he and Swerve engage in a feud that involves Starks having to fight off many off Swerve’s affiliates until their match at Double or Nothing 2024. This match is a hard-hitting, intense 15 minute long banger with Absolute retaining the title, having overcome every obstacle that Swerve threw at him in the process.

If you're reading this, perhaps you're like me. You have most things you want in GTA Online. You've "done it all". And now you're bored.
But... have you *really* done it all? Turns out, most of us haven't. There's so much to do in this game, and it's easy to get stuck in old habits that prevent us from discovering everything there is to do in Los Santos!
So I began writing down all my ideas for having fun in the game, and basically use these suggestions as guidelines to always find something new to do. It has completely reinvigorated my joy for the game, and I hope it can help you do the same!
If you're having trouble with motivation or inspiration, then I suggest picking something at random from the list and just doing it! You might disccover that you love it, just like I did!
And if you have anything more to add, please share your comments so that we can all help build this list together. :)
​
Let's go!
​

• Break Your Habits: Most people have a routine that they repeat over and over again until they get burned out and bored with the game! Your number one goal for having fun must be to break your old habits!
• Grind Less: If you've played for a long time, there's absolutely zero reason to grind big piles of useless money. People often develop bad habits where they finally grind so much that they forget to have fun. The "wonder" of the world completely vanishes when everything becomes about optimal times and optimal routes and optimal mission rotations. Relax! Start exploring everything that the game has to offer instead! Dare to do the "less optimal" routes, and have the courage to stop stressing about the "time efficiency" when you do the game's content. Sure, perhaps you can do a mission in 2 minutes with an Oppressor Mk2, but why not relax, put on a podcast, and do a relaxing 5 minute drive instead? Relax and have fun!
• Switch Off the Business Mindset: Why grind at all? Why do businesses at all? What do you really need the money for, whatsoever? If it feels like grinding, do something else that's more fun for you! Stop thinking about the money and start thinking about the real-world fun you're having! Start actually enjoying all the things you've previously grinded for! Perhaps you might enjoy treating GTA as a racing simulator where you mostly do challenges/race maps instead? There's so much more to do that isn't purely related to earning money!
• Accept All Invites: When you see invites to races, challenges, missions, etc, accept them! You will broaden your horizons about what you can do in the game, and you will often make the newbies very happy! Of course, if it turns out they're a hopelessly stupid newbie who keeps dying and never improves, then sure, I'd suggest leaving the heist to save your time and sanity. But most of the time, the other players will be smart enough to learn quickly. You can easily make great, new friends this way!
• Protect the Newbies: If you see someone doing a sales mission in a public lobby, why not fly over there in a powerful airborne vehicle (or heck, a missile-equipped Toreador car), and then follow them as their bodyguard against any griefers that may appear!
• Join People's CEO/MC: You can list yourself as "looking for work" via the interaction menu, which will alert other people that there's someone looking for work in the session. You can then join them and help people out with their missions, which is often a fun and relaxing activity for a while!
• Get a Crew: Look around for a crew of like-minded people. They exist. There are crews that specialize in heisting with competent players. There are crews that focus on racing. There are crews for Arena War. There are crews that only do LS Car Meet challenges/races. There's even crews specialized in doing sales missions together, by helping each other with business sales, if that's your thing! Finding a group of people with a compatible mindset and interests really pays off in the end!
• Switch Sessions: You can jump between multiple public sessions until you find one that matches your mood. Perhaps a nice, quiet sessions without griefers, perfect for doing sales missions? Or maybe one where there's a group of people that are actively doing something fun, which you can join in on? Don't just settle for your session. Explore what's out there!
• Do the Stupid Things: Grab your friends or some randoms, and challenge each other to do the most stupid and random things you can think of. The game is a sandbox. So start acting like it! For example, why not challenge each other with things like "everyone starts at the beach without any vehicles, your goal is to get to the Senora Desert convenience store, and you're only allowed to use stolen vehicles, the first person to reach the desert wins", or how about "everyone jumps from the Maze Bank Tower and your goal is to ride your parachute all the way to the ferris wheel". Is that even possible? Who knows! Let's find out!
• Become a Map Creator: If you've had fun making random challenges in freeroam, why not make them into more formal challenges, by creating actual maps? The map creator is very advanced. You can modify the world, add checkpoints anywhere you want, you could make a bicycle race, add pedestrians, enable weapon wheel usage, add parachute jumps, stunt jumps, survival modes, etc. Go wild!
• River Racing: The game has two epic rivers that start at the "Alamo Sea" (desert lake) and head west out to the ocean. Why not do a race with some friends? Get the Blazer Aqua amphibious quad bike and start at the desert, then race through one of the rivers, which is full of fun jumps. Next, decide on a destination (such as the Del Perro Pier) and do the rest of the drive on roads to see who gets there first.
• Stop Flying: Whenever a game lets you fly, you end up skipping huge amounts of content and world design and just flying directly above it all. That's nice if you want to get somewhere efficiently, but it really breaks the game's immersion. Try driving everywhere instead!
• Learn to Fly: Many players are awful at flying (especially the helicopters). Why not practice your flying skills? Perhaps try landing your helicopter at very tight spots, on rooftops, and other fun locations!
• Use Motorcycles: They're more thrilling than cars, because crashing actually has consequences. They're also very fast and agile, which feels awesome while driving through the city!
• Oppressor MK1: Fly around the map, trying to create your own challenges such as flying over the water or climbing Mount Chiliad.
• Climb the Mountain: Find various fun vehicles and attempt to climb Mount Chiliad in them. There's lots of fun to be had with motorcycles at the mountain!
• BMX Tricks: There are so many skate parks and BMX bicycle stunt locations in the city. Why not look at some BMX stunt videos for inspiration?
• Throw Away the GPS: Stop staring at the minimap while driving! This is super fun. Let's say that you need to get to Simeon's shop. Instead of opening up the world map and setting a map marker and following the GPS line like a lemming, try to train yourself to navigate the city! Drive the streets, look at the surroundings and actually navigate! It's so much fun and you'll feel way more relaxed. The city will also feel way more immersive. You can even modify the minimap via "Settings: Display: Radar = Blips", which hides the map so that you can't see the shape of the streets by glancing at the minimap anymore. You can even disable it completely, but unfortunately it also hides the healthbar if you do that.
• Use First Person: You can change the game's camera mode to first person, which is a really unique and immersive way to play the game. Steal some cars and go cruising! It will feel like an entirely different game when you get used to it!
• Take Selfies: Find beautiful locations and attempt to take great screenshots, with perfect framing and composition! You can use the game's built-in snapmatic camera, or you can use your regular screenshot key instead! Collecting photos of your adventures is a nice way to remember where you've been!
• Businesses: There are so many businesses in the game, and it's easy to forget about them after a while. Look at your businesses and begin doing their sourcing and sales missons again! Most of us quit them because they're very grindy, but after a long time away from them, they'll feel fresh again. And they'll feel much more relaxing if you vary between your different businesses and you only do one or two missions at a time, to never get bored.
• Nightclub: Do the promotion/popularity missions, which involve going around town and promoting the nightclub, or helping to remove unwanted or drunk guests from the club. All of that improves your popularity, which improves the passive income you're earning from the club!
• Get the DJs: The nightclub has multiple DJs. Why not unlock them all? Their missions are very fun, and you'll earn new music for your club.
• Bunker: Why not do some manual supply missions, just to relax and have fun? Sure, the optimal way to make money with the bunker is to buy the supplies and do "better" things with your time instead of sourcing supplies, but why does everything have to be about ultimate efficiency all the time? If you're a long-time player, you already have lots of money and you need new things to do!
• Contact Missions: So many people don't even know that you can get missions by calling NPCs on the phone. It's named "contact missions" and they can be very fun. I recommend calling Dax and doing "Request Work" from him, because his missions are very varied and after you've done enough you get various important rewards, such as upgrades for your Acid Lab business.
• CEO/VIP Work: When you're a CEO, you can start SecuroServ missions via the interaction menu. There's lots of fun ones! For example, why not get your favorite car, relax and do the Sightseer mission, seeing where the map markers will take you while you enjoy the relaxing drive? The mission gives you 15 minutes, which is plenty of time to take the scenic route.
• Terrorbyte Missions: Another forgotten relic! The terrorbyte has lots of fun missions which are very good for variation. They used to be the best "active" way to earn money in GTA. Most players who grinded those missions have only done the "optimal rotation", but how about actually doing all of the available missions for fun?
• Rockstar Jobs: There are so many high-quality maps, races and challenge modes in the game. Explore the official list of RockstaCurated jobs in the game's pause menu. There's a ton of them!
• Community Jobs: There's a ton of cool community maps in the game. Remember to favorite the ones you liked so that you can easily start the same again!
• Auto Shop: Do the customer car customization and delivery jobs, and do the heists! They can be done solo.
• MC Club: Do the customer motorcycle customization and delivery jobs.
• Vehicle Warehouse: Do the Import/Export car theft and sales missions. Be sure to use the trick that ensures you only get high-end cars (permanently fill the warehouse with every worthless sourced car in the game, then you will only get high-end cars after that).
• Acid Lab: The best passive income business in the game. Spend some time doing Dax's contact missions to fully upgrade your lab's efficiency and it will become very profitable. Then mix up your gameplay between both sourcing Acid supplies or buying them. And do the sales missions.
• Franklin's Agency: Do the Dr. Dre story missions, then do 201x Security Contract missions until you've unlocked the highest amount of passive daily income (it goes up by $100 every time you do a mission, capped at $20,000 after having done 201 contracts).
• Payphone Hits: They're unlocked after doing at least 3 Security Contract missions. Then you can pick up assassination contracts from ringing payphones. They're very profitable.
• Weekly Time Trials: Do the camotorcycle time trial and the RC car time trial every week, they're a good way to learn how to drive and they give a nice bit of money! Remember that you can hold a key to respawn at the start of the race before the time has ended, if you're sure that you won't make it in time.
• Daily Objectives: In your interaction menu, look at the Objectives and complete them. They're a good way to be inspired to do things you might not do otherwise.
• Daily Collectible Hunts: G's Cache (hunt for the hidden street cache), Kosatka submarine treasure hunt, Street dealer (find it and sell to it every day), etc.
• Get a Fresh Look: Create a new character outfit (clothes, hairstyle, tattoos, mask).
• Use Different Weapons: Challenge yourself to use different weapons than the same old, boring weapon you always use. For example, how about only using the Heavy Revolver? Make those shots count!
• Modify Your Weapons: Change their styles and attachments.
• Tune Your Precious Car: You might have a "perfectly tuned" car that you've been driving for years and that you're always using. Why not modify it a bit? Put a different livery on it, and some different colors at least? What felt "fresh" two years ago would just be contributing to a feeling of "staleness" today. Freshen things up!
• Ride of the Day: Most long-time players have around a hundred vehicles, but most of them collect dust. Why not set fun "challenge" rules for yourself, such as randomly selecting a vehicle and using only that vehicle on that real-life day?
• Outfit of the Day: Why not make it your goal to create a new character "outfit of the day" (or week) whenever you log in? It's a great way to get a fresh feeling every time you play!
• Minigames: How about some Golf, Tennis, Darts or Arm Wrestling?
• Gang Attacks: Find a gang and eliminate them!
• Stash Houses: Find the stash houses and raid them for resources for your businesses.
• Parachute: Go somewhere high up and do a parachute dive! Better yet, look for the Junk Energy Skydives challenges on the map, or do Dom's parachute challenge (which is a special skydive at a random location).
• San Andreas Flight School: Do the flight school challenges! They're at the Los Santos Airport, at the airplane icon!
• Gun Range Challenges: Complete the Bunker's and Ammo-Nation Gun Range shooting challenges!
• Gun Range with Friends: Challenge a friend to the gun range mini-games, where you compete to see who is the most accurate!
• MC Club Missions: Form a MC club with at least one friend, then ride in formation and start MC missions via the interaction menu.
• MC Businesses: Yes, they're the most hated businesses in the game, but why not do them a little bit? You could do a little bit of supplying and a few small sales missions, to ensure that you have small sales. Or, team up with friends and take turns helping each other do larger sales.
• Racing: Do Open Wheel, Stunt Races, Transform Races, and Regular Races. There are so many different kinds of races in the game! The transform races are the newest feature, and are very cool, since you might drive a supercar down the street to the airport, then transform into a plane and fly through the sky, and other epic things, all in the same race map!
• LS Car Meet: Do the challenges, races and rank up your LS Car Meet rank. Try to win the Prize Ride!
• Lobby Car Meets: You can try arranging car meets with other people in the lobby, to check out each other's cars! Just beware of griefers. You may want to do it in the LS Car Meet building to avoid the griefer explosions, or just switch to a lobby with cooler people.
• Arcade: Play the arcade games and try to beat them! Some of them have hidden rewards for completing the game or completing certain challenges.
• Achievements: Look at the pause menu's Stats - Awards section, and pick some award that you'll try to complete! There are so many fun challenges in there, such as attempting to parachute for more than 3 minutes, or robbing every store on the map (you can see the checkmarks on the map to know if you've robbed those stores).
• Stunt Jumps: There are 50 stunt jump locations on the map, which unlock a few rewards and are also really fun to complete!
• Unlock Vehicle Colors: You may have noticed that certain colors are locked behind challenges, such as winning a certain amount of races. Why not finally unlock those colors you've always wanted but were always "too lazy" to unlock? You'll get to enjoy some flashy, new vehicle colors!
• Arena War: Very fun, but unfortunately hard to get a group going for it. But if you can get a group, Arena War is super fun.
• Freemode Battles: Join a large lobby and just do whatever you want while you're waiting for freemode battles, which start every 20 minutes and will alternate between Business Battles and Freemode Challenges. Then attempt to win those battles! Events will only trigger when there are at least 4 players outdoors, and they cannot be in the same CEO/MC.
• Ride with Strangers: Pick your nicest car and then drive around and invite strangers to either ride with you or do impromptu street race 1v1 challenges.
• Freemode Map Markers: Look at the map. There are icons and glowing markers everywhere on the map/streets. Visit whichever icon is nearest your current location and see what's there! Remember that you can go "On Call" (queue) for public races/missions while you're waiting for them to fill up, which lets you stay in Freemode while you're waiting.
• Weekly Bonuses: Look at the Rockstar Newswire to see what the weekly bonus money is, and focus on doing that business/event for a while, to earn some money!
• Max Your Stats: Get all your stats to maximum! Most people haven't finished Strength, which can be gradually maxed for fun by simply punching every civilian you see.
• Invade the Military: Invade the military base at Fort Zancudo with some friends, and make it your mission to steal a Lazer jet plane.
• Heists: Do some heist preps or full heists for fun! Many of them can be casually setup while solo, which is very relaxing! Most of the newer heists can even be completed while solo!
• Change Your Heist Routes: You don't have to always do the same approach over and over again. Most heists have a lot of different approaches. For example, have you ever successfully completed the "Silent and Sneaky" approach at the Casino? Start exploring the different possibilities out there!
• Yellow Mission Markers: The yellow letters/markers on the map show the location of significant storyline missions (such as ULP, Agency, Acid Lab, etc). Visit those locations and start completing the stories that GTA Online has to offer!
• Do the Jobs: Go to "Online - Jobs" in the pause menu, and explore the available options!
• Answer the Calls: There are so many fun missions for English Dave, the various DJs at the Music Locker, the Casino staff, etc. In most cases, you'll also get some kind of reward if you finish them all! You might even get them to stop calling you when you've finished everything, which is a nice reward in itself!
• Check Your Texts/Emails: There's a lot of "mini missions" that arrive via emails/text messages. For example, Simeon asks you to steal certain cars every day. There's also an early game treasure hunt which starts through an email.
• Use Quick Join: There's an app on your phone named "Quick Join". It queues you for a rapid, random job. It's a great way to explore new content, meet new people and to help them with the queues for their own missions.
• Browse the Internet: There are a ton of funny parody websites in GTA Online's internet browser. Explore what's out there!
• Watch TV/Movies: Have you seen all the TV shows and cinema movies yet? If not, relax and have some fun! :)
• Customize Your Phone: You can change the theme, background, ringtone and other settings for your in-game phone. Why not change things a bit?
• Don't Be Annoyed: The phone calls and missions may seem annoying, but try actually relaxing and doing them. Listen to the phone calls. Call the NPCs. Do their missions! They are pretty nice and chill activities which gives you something to do in the game and some challenges.
• Use a Gamepad: If you're a PC player, you'll know that most of the game is too easy, since the aiming and enemy difficulty was balanced for console (gamepad) players. Try using a gamepad on PC! Not only will your driving and flying be massively improved, you'll also have a much more fun fun time when fighting enemies, since you can't just "360 No Scope" everything with your superior pointing device anymore. You'll even get immersive rumble that lets you feel the engine of your cars! How cool is that?! The game's options lets you finetune the sensitivity and aiming mode, and true professionals will use "Free Aim" which completely disables the auto-aiming.
• Meet Different People: If you're mostly a heist person, look for someone who loves cars and start hanging out with them to absorb some of their passion for another aspect of the game. You might learn to love car tuning too!
• Trade Prices: Many vehicles in the game have trade prices which give you a massive discount on the vehicle if you complete the challenge first. So set your eyes on a nice vehicle and do its challenges for fun! The discount you're earning will be like earning a huge sum of money that you put towards that specific vehicle. For example, a 2 million dollar discount on a vehicle you wanted is the same as if you had just earned 2 million dollars that you decided to spend on that vehicle! So don't sleep on the trade price discounts! They're a fun challenge with a very high monetary value!
• Bunker Research: If you have a bunker, try doing the research! You can unlock a ton of cool and super useful vehicle and weapon modifications! The explosive and incendiary ammo are must-haves.
• Mobile Operations Missions: The Mobile Operations Center is a forgotten business. It exists in your bunker, but you can request it via your Interaction Menu. Enter the truck's trailer, and then start missions from the computer in the command room!
• Avenger: Take your Avenger out for a drive! It's an extremely powerful, heavily armored aircraft and can be customized with various fun additions.
• Relaxing Yacht: Why not purchase or upgrade your yacht, and chill on it for a while with some friends? It even has lots of fun water vehicles parked in the water at the yacht, and helicopter pads for easy travel.
• Yacht Missions: You can start the fun "A Superyacht Life" mission series from the captain on your yacht. You'll even get a fun Yacht Captain outfit if you complete them all as host.
• Special Vehicle Work: The Vehicle Warehouse provides various epic missions whose "main" purpose is to unlock trade prices on various weaponized vehicles, but the missions themselves are fun too. Most players only do the specific missions for the vehicles they wanted to buy. Why not complete them all at least once, or play them again for fun?
• Collectibles: The map is full of collectible items, such as USB music sticks, playing cards, action figures, signal jammers (to unlock the best hacker for the Casino heist), etc. Why not relax and do them all for fun? They all unlock something fun or useful!
• Dream Vehicle: Relax, do some research about vehicles are available in the game, and set your eyes on a new "dream vehicle". Then work towards earning it and pimping it just the way you want it! Having a goal is fun!
• Test Drives: Check out the weekly test drives at the "Luxury Autos" shop, at Simeon's "Premium Deluxe Motorsport", and at the "LS Car Meet". You might find your new dream vehicle!
• Collect Vehicle Sets: You might have fun building specific collections, such as all Benny's vehicles in the game, etc. Setting goals for yourself about specific vehicle collections gives you something to strive for, and means that there's a lot of new things you'll need to buy and tune, which will keep you busy for a while!
• Sell Vehicles: Let's be honest, there are a lot of stinkers in your collection. Why not sell them? Just beware of the game's daily sell limit. The limit will be hit somewhere around 30-40 cars sold in 24 real-life hours. I'd suggest only selling 1-5 cars per real life day, which ensures that you'll never face the anger of Rockstar, and you'll have more time to make deliberate choices about which vehicles to get rid of. You'll also be getting roughly 50% of your previously spent money back for each sold vehicle! I'd recommend forcing yourself to drive a vehicle for a while before selling it, and looking at its customizations to see if you'd like it if you changed its style a bit, so that you're absolutely sure that you don't want it.
• Organize Your Vehicles: A lot of people have a complete mess in their garages. Why not begin sorting your cars, such as placing all your best cars at the premium display spots in your office garage? Perhaps organizing the floors by vehicle type? You can have lots of fun and you'll get a much better overview of your available vehicles.
• Relocate Yourself: If you've been staring at the same, old, boring spot for years, it could be fun to move! Most players choose the ugly, industrial, "optimal" locations. Why not relax and move to the beautiful beach instead? The Lombank office, the Insert Coin arcade, the Vespucci Beach MC clubhouse, the Del Perro Nightclub, the Strawberry auto shop, and the Vespucci Canals agency are all very beautiful locations with amazing interior and exterior design and great views! They're also very well placed for all of their business purposes!
• Browse in Person: When you're looking at real estate on the internet, things look very boring and impersonal. Why not take a drive around the city and look at the "real estate for sale" map markers in person? Perhaps you'll find a great new location for your home! However, if it's a multi-apartment house, I recommend checking YouTube for the various room views, to find the room with the best view before you buy it.
• Upgrade Your Properties/Businesses: If you haven't yet upgraded all of the equipment for a business, it's a great idea to upgrade it to improve its efficiency and safety. Or how about changing the interior design for fun, to replace the "same old daily view" with a fresh new look?
• Buy Every Arcade Machine: There are so many fun minigame machines for your arcade. Why not buy them all and pimp that place out? It's a nice place to relax, and even get some rewards for completing the games.
• Get All Passive Businesses: Why not work towards getting and fully upgrading all of the passive incomes in the game? Such as the Nightclub (which automatically generates money in the safe based on popularity, and generates MC business products to sell from its basement), the Acid Lab (which can be restocked with a simple phone call to Mutt, and has easy sales missions), the Arcade (which generates $5000 per in-game day when you've filled all of its interior slots with arcade machines, which can all be the same machine if you want), the Agency (which generates up to $20000 per in-game day based on how many Security Contracts you've completed), Street Dealers (finding the daily street dealer is much faster than regular sales missions, and they pay more than regular missions), Bunker (you can resupply it via one click with the Master Control Terminal in your Arcade, and then simply sell the product when it's still less than 25% full, thus guaranteeing a single sales vehicle every time). An added bonus of having passive businesses is the fact that they let you do other things in the game, such as doing racing and other fun challenges, while your businesses passively produce for you!
• Start Fresh: Did you know that your online account has two character slots? You can actually start fresh by simply withdrawing all of you banked money to your primary character, so that there's $0 in the bank. Then create a new character, which will begin at $0. Then relax and enjoy the ride of building a new empire. I suggest doing things differently this time. For example, if your primary character owns every business, why not just focus on a specific business this time, such as the CEO businesses (cargo crates), or just the vehicle warehouse, etc? Take this opportunity to simplify and avoid grinding, while still building a new playstyle to keep things fresh! Why not skip the Kosatka, so that you don't have the "easy Cayo Perico money" either? This slower, more deliberate, old-school way of making money will ensure that you have lots of fun, and you can set your own goals for what vehicles you want to save up money for on your new character! If you get tired of the grind, just switch back to your primary character again and enjoy the wealth. You can even delete your secondary character again to start fresh as many times as you want to.
• Spend Your Money: Having $100 million unused in the bank is just a completely pointless number, and is basically worth the same as having $0 in the bank if you aren't even using it. Unless your goal is to collect a specific amount of money for fun, I'd instead suggest that you actually start spending absolutely all of your money! Because if you can succeed in being perpetually slightly low on cash, you'll have much more reason to care about doing your businesses when you do want to buy something, which in turn drives your motivation to play again! Having a huge stash of money is bad for your motivation to play! Having a huge sash of money is like having an endless "Rich Daddy's Credit Card" in your wallet. Get rid of that credit card, buy a bunch of fun stuff, and enjoy the game more as a result!
• Play the Story: The vast majority of GTA Online players have barely touched the offline story. Why not relax with the story from time to time, gradually making your way through the epic offline story that started it all?
• Take a Break: If you're truly not finding any fun anymore, then take a break, perhaps a few weeks or a month is all you need to enjoy the game again! They also release content updates roughly twice per year, so you'll always have something new to return to in the future! :)

If you're reading this, perhaps you're like me. You have most things you want in GTA Online. You've "done it all". And now you're bored.
But... have you *really* done it all? Turns out, most of us haven't. There's so much to do in this game, and it's easy to get stuck in old habits that prevent us from discovering everything there is to do in Los Santos!
So I began writing down all my ideas for having fun in the game, and basically use these suggestions as guidelines to always find something new to do. It has completely reinvigorated my joy for the game, and I hope it can help you do the same!
If you're having trouble with motivation or inspiration, then I suggest picking something at random from the list and just doing it! You might disccover that you love it, just like I did!
And if you have anything more to add, please share your comments so that we can all help build this list together. :)
​
Let's go!
​

• Break Your Habits: Most people have a routine that they repeat over and over again until they get burned out and bored with the game! Your number one goal for having fun must be to break your old habits!
• Grind Less: If you've played for a long time, there's absolutely zero reason to grind big piles of useless money. People often develop bad habits where they finally grind so much that they forget to have fun. The "wonder" of the world completely vanishes when everything becomes about optimal times and optimal routes and optimal mission rotations. Relax! Start exploring everything that the game has to offer instead! Dare to do the "less optimal" routes, and have the courage to stop stressing about the "time efficiency" when you do the game's content. Sure, perhaps you can do a mission in 2 minutes with an Oppressor Mk2, but why not relax, put on a podcast, and do a relaxing 5 minute drive instead? Relax and have fun!
• Switch Off the Business Mindset: Why grind at all? Why do businesses at all? What do you really need the money for, whatsoever? If it feels like grinding, do something else that's more fun for you! Stop thinking about the money and start thinking about the real-world fun you're having! Start actually enjoying all the things you've previously grinded for! Perhaps you might enjoy treating GTA as a racing simulator where you mostly do challenges/race maps instead? There's so much more to do that isn't purely related to earning money!
• Accept All Invites: When you see invites to races, challenges, missions, etc, accept them! You will broaden your horizons about what you can do in the game, and you will often make the newbies very happy! Of course, if it turns out they're a hopelessly stupid newbie who keeps dying and never improves, then sure, I'd suggest leaving the heist to save your time and sanity. But most of the time, the other players will be smart enough to learn quickly. You can easily make great, new friends this way!
• Protect the Newbies: If you see someone doing a sales mission in a public lobby, why not fly over there in a powerful airborne vehicle (or heck, a missile-equipped Toreador car), and then follow them as their bodyguard against any griefers that may appear!
• Join People's CEO/MC: You can list yourself as "looking for work" via the interaction menu, which will alert other people that there's someone looking for work in the session. You can then join them and help people out with their missions, which is often a fun and relaxing activity for a while!
• Get a Crew: Look around for a crew of like-minded people. They exist. There are crews that specialize in heisting with competent players. There are crews that focus on racing. There are crews for Arena War. There are crews that only do LS Car Meet challenges/races. There's even crews specialized in doing sales missions together, by helping each other with business sales, if that's your thing! Finding a group of people with a compatible mindset and interests really pays off in the end!
• Switch Sessions: You can jump between multiple public sessions until you find one that matches your mood. Perhaps a nice, quiet sessions without griefers, perfect for doing sales missions? Or maybe one where there's a group of people that are actively doing something fun, which you can join in on? Don't just settle for your session. Explore what's out there!
• Do the Stupid Things: Grab your friends or some randoms, and challenge each other to do the most stupid and random things you can think of. The game is a sandbox. So start acting like it! For example, why not challenge each other with things like "everyone starts at the beach without any vehicles, your goal is to get to the Senora Desert convenience store, and you're only allowed to use stolen vehicles, the first person to reach the desert wins", or how about "everyone jumps from the Maze Bank Tower and your goal is to ride your parachute all the way to the ferris wheel". Is that even possible? Who knows! Let's find out!
• Become a Map Creator: If you've had fun making random challenges in freeroam, why not make them into more formal challenges, by creating actual maps? The map creator is very advanced. You can modify the world, add checkpoints anywhere you want, you could make a bicycle race, add pedestrians, enable weapon wheel usage, add parachute jumps, stunt jumps, survival modes, etc. Go wild!
• River Racing: The game has two epic rivers that start at the "Alamo Sea" (desert lake) and head west out to the ocean. Why not do a race with some friends? Get the Blazer Aqua amphibious quad bike and start at the desert, then race through one of the rivers, which is full of fun jumps. Next, decide on a destination (such as the Del Perro Pier) and do the rest of the drive on roads to see who gets there first.
• Stop Flying: Whenever a game lets you fly, you end up skipping huge amounts of content and world design and just flying directly above it all. That's nice if you want to get somewhere efficiently, but it really breaks the game's immersion. Try driving everywhere instead!
• Learn to Fly: Many players are awful at flying (especially the helicopters). Why not practice your flying skills? Perhaps try landing your helicopter at very tight spots, on rooftops, and other fun locations!
• Use Motorcycles: They're more thrilling than cars, because crashing actually has consequences. They're also very fast and agile, which feels awesome while driving through the city!
• Oppressor MK1: Fly around the map, trying to create your own challenges such as flying over the water or climbing Mount Chiliad.
• Climb the Mountain: Find various fun vehicles and attempt to climb Mount Chiliad in them. There's lots of fun to be had with motorcycles at the mountain!
• BMX Tricks: There are so many skate parks and BMX bicycle stunt locations in the city. Why not look at some BMX stunt videos for inspiration?
• Throw Away the GPS: Stop staring at the minimap while driving! This is super fun. Let's say that you need to get to Simeon's shop. Instead of opening up the world map and setting a map marker and following the GPS line like a lemming, try to train yourself to navigate the city! Drive the streets, look at the surroundings and actually navigate! It's so much fun and you'll feel way more relaxed. The city will also feel way more immersive. You can even modify the minimap via "Settings: Display: Radar = Blips", which hides the map so that you can't see the shape of the streets by glancing at the minimap anymore. You can even disable it completely, but unfortunately it also hides the healthbar if you do that.
• Use First Person: You can change the game's camera mode to first person, which is a really unique and immersive way to play the game. Steal some cars and go cruising! It will feel like an entirely different game when you get used to it!
• Take Selfies: Find beautiful locations and attempt to take great screenshots, with perfect framing and composition! You can use the game's built-in snapmatic camera, or you can use your regular screenshot key instead! Collecting photos of your adventures is a nice way to remember where you've been!
• Businesses: There are so many businesses in the game, and it's easy to forget about them after a while. Look at your businesses and begin doing their sourcing and sales missons again! Most of us quit them because they're very grindy, but after a long time away from them, they'll feel fresh again. And they'll feel much more relaxing if you vary between your different businesses and you only do one or two missions at a time, to never get bored.
• Nightclub: Do the promotion/popularity missions, which involve going around town and promoting the nightclub, or helping to remove unwanted or drunk guests from the club. All of that improves your popularity, which improves the passive income you're earning from the club!
• Get the DJs: The nightclub has multiple DJs. Why not unlock them all? Their missions are very fun, and you'll earn new music for your club.
• Bunker: Why not do some manual supply missions, just to relax and have fun? Sure, the optimal way to make money with the bunker is to buy the supplies and do "better" things with your time instead of sourcing supplies, but why does everything have to be about ultimate efficiency all the time? If you're a long-time player, you already have lots of money and you need new things to do!
• Contact Missions: So many people don't even know that you can get missions by calling NPCs on the phone. It's named "contact missions" and they can be very fun. I recommend calling Dax and doing "Request Work" from him, because his missions are very varied and after you've done enough you get various important rewards, such as upgrades for your Acid Lab business.
• CEO/VIP Work: When you're a CEO, you can start SecuroServ missions via the interaction menu. There's lots of fun ones! For example, why not get your favorite car, relax and do the Sightseer mission, seeing where the map markers will take you while you enjoy the relaxing drive? The mission gives you 15 minutes, which is plenty of time to take the scenic route.
• Terrorbyte Missions: Another forgotten relic! The terrorbyte has lots of fun missions which are very good for variation. They used to be the best "active" way to earn money in GTA. Most players who grinded those missions have only done the "optimal rotation", but how about actually doing all of the available missions for fun?
• Rockstar Jobs: There are so many high-quality maps, races and challenge modes in the game. Explore the official list of RockstaCurated jobs in the game's pause menu. There's a ton of them!
• Community Jobs: There's a ton of cool community maps in the game. Remember to favorite the ones you liked so that you can easily start the same again!
• Auto Shop: Do the customer car customization and delivery jobs, and do the heists! They can be done solo.
• MC Club: Do the customer motorcycle customization and delivery jobs.
• Vehicle Warehouse: Do the Import/Export car theft and sales missions. Be sure to use the trick that ensures you only get high-end cars (permanently fill the warehouse with every worthless sourced car in the game, then you will only get high-end cars after that).
• Acid Lab: The best passive income business in the game. Spend some time doing Dax's contact missions to fully upgrade your lab's efficiency and it will become very profitable. Then mix up your gameplay between both sourcing Acid supplies or buying them. And do the sales missions.
• Franklin's Agency: Do the Dr. Dre story missions, then do 201x Security Contract missions until you've unlocked the highest amount of passive daily income (it goes up by $100 every time you do a mission, capped at $20,000 after having done 201 contracts).
• Payphone Hits: They're unlocked after doing at least 3 Security Contract missions. Then you can pick up assassination contracts from ringing payphones. They're very profitable.
• Weekly Time Trials: Do the camotorcycle time trial and the RC car time trial every week, they're a good way to learn how to drive and they give a nice bit of money! Remember that you can hold a key to respawn at the start of the race before the time has ended, if you're sure that you won't make it in time.
• Daily Objectives: In your interaction menu, look at the Objectives and complete them. They're a good way to be inspired to do things you might not do otherwise.
• Daily Collectible Hunts: G's Cache (hunt for the hidden street cache), Kosatka submarine treasure hunt, Street dealer (find it and sell to it every day), etc.
• Get a Fresh Look: Create a new character outfit (clothes, hairstyle, tattoos, mask).
• Use Different Weapons: Challenge yourself to use different weapons than the same old, boring weapon you always use. For example, how about only using the Heavy Revolver? Make those shots count!
• Modify Your Weapons: Change their styles and attachments.
• Tune Your Precious Car: You might have a "perfectly tuned" car that you've been driving for years and that you're always using. Why not modify it a bit? Put a different livery on it, and some different colors at least? What felt "fresh" two years ago would just be contributing to a feeling of "staleness" today. Freshen things up!
• Ride of the Day: Most long-time players have around a hundred vehicles, but most of them collect dust. Why not set fun "challenge" rules for yourself, such as randomly selecting a vehicle and using only that vehicle on that real-life day?
• Outfit of the Day: Why not make it your goal to create a new character "outfit of the day" (or week) whenever you log in? It's a great way to get a fresh feeling every time you play!
• Minigames: How about some Golf, Tennis, Darts or Arm Wrestling?
• Gang Attacks: Find a gang and eliminate them!
• Stash Houses: Find the stash houses and raid them for resources for your businesses.
• Parachute: Go somewhere high up and do a parachute dive! Better yet, look for the Junk Energy Skydives challenges on the map, or do Dom's parachute challenge (which is a special skydive at a random location).
• San Andreas Flight School: Do the flight school challenges! They're at the Los Santos Airport, at the airplane icon!
• Gun Range Challenges: Complete the Bunker's and Ammo-Nation Gun Range shooting challenges!
• Gun Range with Friends: Challenge a friend to the gun range mini-games, where you compete to see who is the most accurate!
• MC Club Missions: Form a MC club with at least one friend, then ride in formation and start MC missions via the interaction menu.
• MC Businesses: Yes, they're the most hated businesses in the game, but why not do them a little bit? You could do a little bit of supplying and a few small sales missions, to ensure that you have small sales. Or, team up with friends and take turns helping each other do larger sales.
• Racing: Do Open Wheel, Stunt Races, Transform Races, and Regular Races. There are so many different kinds of races in the game! The transform races are the newest feature, and are very cool, since you might drive a supercar down the street to the airport, then transform into a plane and fly through the sky, and other epic things, all in the same race map!
• LS Car Meet: Do the challenges, races and rank up your LS Car Meet rank. Try to win the Prize Ride!
• Lobby Car Meets: You can try arranging car meets with other people in the lobby, to check out each other's cars! Just beware of griefers. You may want to do it in the LS Car Meet building to avoid the griefer explosions, or just switch to a lobby with cooler people.
• Arcade: Play the arcade games and try to beat them! Some of them have hidden rewards for completing the game or completing certain challenges.
• Achievements: Look at the pause menu's Stats - Awards section, and pick some award that you'll try to complete! There are so many fun challenges in there, such as attempting to parachute for more than 3 minutes, or robbing every store on the map (you can see the checkmarks on the map to know if you've robbed those stores).
• Stunt Jumps: There are 50 stunt jump locations on the map, which unlock a few rewards and are also really fun to complete!
• Unlock Vehicle Colors: You may have noticed that certain colors are locked behind challenges, such as winning a certain amount of races. Why not finally unlock those colors you've always wanted but were always "too lazy" to unlock? You'll get to enjoy some flashy, new vehicle colors!
• Arena War: Very fun, but unfortunately hard to get a group going for it. But if you can get a group, Arena War is super fun.
• Freemode Battles: Join a large lobby and just do whatever you want while you're waiting for freemode battles, which start every 20 minutes and will alternate between Business Battles and Freemode Challenges. Then attempt to win those battles! Events will only trigger when there are at least 4 players outdoors, and they cannot be in the same CEO/MC.
• Ride with Strangers: Pick your nicest car and then drive around and invite strangers to either ride with you or do impromptu street race 1v1 challenges.
• Freemode Map Markers: Look at the map. There are icons and glowing markers everywhere on the map/streets. Visit whichever icon is nearest your current location and see what's there! Remember that you can go "On Call" (queue) for public races/missions while you're waiting for them to fill up, which lets you stay in Freemode while you're waiting.
• Weekly Bonuses: Look at the Rockstar Newswire to see what the weekly bonus money is, and focus on doing that business/event for a while, to earn some money!
• Max Your Stats: Get all your stats to maximum! Most people haven't finished Strength, which can be gradually maxed for fun by simply punching every civilian you see.
• Invade the Military: Invade the military base at Fort Zancudo with some friends, and make it your mission to steal a Lazer jet plane.
• Heists: Do some heist preps or full heists for fun! Many of them can be casually setup while solo, which is very relaxing! Most of the newer heists can even be completed while solo!
• Change Your Heist Routes: You don't have to always do the same approach over and over again. Most heists have a lot of different approaches. For example, have you ever successfully completed the "Silent and Sneaky" approach at the Casino? Start exploring the different possibilities out there!
• Yellow Mission Markers: The yellow letters/markers on the map show the location of significant storyline missions (such as ULP, Agency, Acid Lab, etc). Visit those locations and start completing the stories that GTA Online has to offer!
• Do the Jobs: Go to "Online - Jobs" in the pause menu, and explore the available options!
• Answer the Calls: There are so many fun missions for English Dave, the various DJs at the Music Locker, the Casino staff, etc. In most cases, you'll also get some kind of reward if you finish them all! You might even get them to stop calling you when you've finished everything, which is a nice reward in itself!
• Check Your Texts/Emails: There's a lot of "mini missions" that arrive via emails/text messages. For example, Simeon asks you to steal certain cars every day. There's also an early game treasure hunt which starts through an email.
• Use Quick Join: There's an app on your phone named "Quick Join". It queues you for a rapid, random job. It's a great way to explore new content, meet new people and to help them with the queues for their own missions.
• Browse the Internet: There are a ton of funny parody websites in GTA Online's internet browser. Explore what's out there!
• Watch TV/Movies: Have you seen all the TV shows and cinema movies yet? If not, relax and have some fun! :)
• Customize Your Phone: You can change the theme, background, ringtone and other settings for your in-game phone. Why not change things a bit?
• Don't Be Annoyed: The phone calls and missions may seem annoying, but try actually relaxing and doing them. Listen to the phone calls. Call the NPCs. Do their missions! They are pretty nice and chill activities which gives you something to do in the game and some challenges.
• Use a Gamepad: If you're a PC player, you'll know that most of the game is too easy, since the aiming and enemy difficulty was balanced for console (gamepad) players. Try using a gamepad on PC! Not only will your driving and flying be massively improved, you'll also have a much more fun fun time when fighting enemies, since you can't just "360 No Scope" everything with your superior pointing device anymore. You'll even get immersive rumble that lets you feel the engine of your cars! How cool is that?! The game's options lets you finetune the sensitivity and aiming mode, and true professionals will use "Free Aim" which completely disables the auto-aiming.
• Meet Different People: If you're mostly a heist person, look for someone who loves cars and start hanging out with them to absorb some of their passion for another aspect of the game. You might learn to love car tuning too!
• Trade Prices: Many vehicles in the game have trade prices which give you a massive discount on the vehicle if you complete the challenge first. So set your eyes on a nice vehicle and do its challenges for fun! The discount you're earning will be like earning a huge sum of money that you put towards that specific vehicle. For example, a 2 million dollar discount on a vehicle you wanted is the same as if you had just earned 2 million dollars that you decided to spend on that vehicle! So don't sleep on the trade price discounts! They're a fun challenge with a very high monetary value!
• Bunker Research: If you have a bunker, try doing the research! You can unlock a ton of cool and super useful vehicle and weapon modifications! The explosive and incendiary ammo are must-haves.
• Mobile Operations Missions: The Mobile Operations Center is a forgotten business. It exists in your bunker, but you can request it via your Interaction Menu. Enter the truck's trailer, and then start missions from the computer in the command room!
• Avenger: Take your Avenger out for a drive! It's an extremely powerful, heavily armored aircraft and can be customized with various fun additions.
• Relaxing Yacht: Why not purchase or upgrade your yacht, and chill on it for a while with some friends? It even has lots of fun water vehicles parked in the water at the yacht, and helicopter pads for easy travel.
• Yacht Missions: You can start the fun "A Superyacht Life" mission series from the captain on your yacht. You'll even get a fun Yacht Captain outfit if you complete them all as host.
• Special Vehicle Work: The Vehicle Warehouse provides various epic missions whose "main" purpose is to unlock trade prices on various weaponized vehicles, but the missions themselves are fun too. Most players only do the specific missions for the vehicles they wanted to buy. Why not complete them all at least once, or play them again for fun?
• Collectibles: The map is full of collectible items, such as USB music sticks, playing cards, action figures, signal jammers (to unlock the best hacker for the Casino heist), etc. Why not relax and do them all for fun? They all unlock something fun or useful!
• Dream Vehicle: Relax, do some research about vehicles are available in the game, and set your eyes on a new "dream vehicle". Then work towards earning it and pimping it just the way you want it! Having a goal is fun!
• Test Drives: Check out the weekly test drives at the "Luxury Autos" shop, at Simeon's "Premium Deluxe Motorsport", and at the "LS Car Meet". You might find your new dream vehicle!
• Collect Vehicle Sets: You might have fun building specific collections, such as all Benny's vehicles in the game, etc. Setting goals for yourself about specific vehicle collections gives you something to strive for, and means that there's a lot of new things you'll need to buy and tune, which will keep you busy for a while!
• Sell Vehicles: Let's be honest, there are a lot of stinkers in your collection. Why not sell them? Just beware of the game's daily sell limit. The limit will be hit somewhere around 30-40 cars sold in 24 real-life hours. I'd suggest only selling 1-5 cars per real life day, which ensures that you'll never face the anger of Rockstar, and you'll have more time to make deliberate choices about which vehicles to get rid of. You'll also be getting roughly 50% of your previously spent money back for each sold vehicle! I'd recommend forcing yourself to drive a vehicle for a while before selling it, and looking at its customizations to see if you'd like it if you changed its style a bit, so that you're absolutely sure that you don't want it.
• Organize Your Vehicles: A lot of people have a complete mess in their garages. Why not begin sorting your cars, such as placing all your best cars at the premium display spots in your office garage? Perhaps organizing the floors by vehicle type? You can have lots of fun and you'll get a much better overview of your available vehicles.
• Relocate Yourself: If you've been staring at the same, old, boring spot for years, it could be fun to move! Most players choose the ugly, industrial, "optimal" locations. Why not relax and move to the beautiful beach instead? The Lombank office, the Insert Coin arcade, the Vespucci Beach MC clubhouse, the Del Perro Nightclub, the Strawberry auto shop, and the Vespucci Canals agency are all very beautiful locations with amazing interior and exterior design and great views! They're also very well placed for all of their business purposes!
• Browse in Person: When you're looking at real estate on the internet, things look very boring and impersonal. Why not take a drive around the city and look at the "real estate for sale" map markers in person? Perhaps you'll find a great new location for your home! However, if it's a multi-apartment house, I recommend checking YouTube for the various room views, to find the room with the best view before you buy it.
• Upgrade Your Properties/Businesses: If you haven't yet upgraded all of the equipment for a business, it's a great idea to upgrade it to improve its efficiency and safety. Or how about changing the interior design for fun, to replace the "same old daily view" with a fresh new look?
• Buy Every Arcade Machine: There are so many fun minigame machines for your arcade. Why not buy them all and pimp that place out? It's a nice place to relax, and even get some rewards for completing the games.
• Get All Passive Businesses: Why not work towards getting and fully upgrading all of the passive incomes in the game? Such as the Nightclub (which automatically generates money in the safe based on popularity, and generates MC business products to sell from its basement), the Acid Lab (which can be restocked with a simple phone call to Mutt, and has easy sales missions), the Arcade (which generates $5000 per in-game day when you've filled all of its interior slots with arcade machines, which can all be the same machine if you want), the Agency (which generates up to $20000 per in-game day based on how many Security Contracts you've completed), Street Dealers (finding the daily street dealer is much faster than regular sales missions, and they pay more than regular missions), Bunker (you can resupply it via one click with the Master Control Terminal in your Arcade, and then simply sell the product when it's still less than 25% full, thus guaranteeing a single sales vehicle every time). An added bonus of having passive businesses is the fact that they let you do other things in the game, such as doing racing and other fun challenges, while your businesses passively produce for you!
• Start Fresh: Did you know that your online account has two character slots? You can actually start fresh by simply withdrawing all of you banked money to your primary character, so that there's $0 in the bank. Then create a new character, which will begin at $0. Then relax and enjoy the ride of building a new empire. I suggest doing things differently this time. For example, if your primary character owns every business, why not just focus on a specific business this time, such as the CEO businesses (cargo crates), or just the vehicle warehouse, etc? Take this opportunity to simplify and avoid grinding, while still building a new playstyle to keep things fresh! Why not skip the Kosatka, so that you don't have the "easy Cayo Perico money" either? This slower, more deliberate, old-school way of making money will ensure that you have lots of fun, and you can set your own goals for what vehicles you want to save up money for on your new character! If you get tired of the grind, just switch back to your primary character again and enjoy the wealth. You can even delete your secondary character again to start fresh as many times as you want to.
• Spend Your Money: Having $100 million unused in the bank is just a completely pointless number, and is basically worth the same as having $0 in the bank if you aren't even using it. Unless your goal is to collect a specific amount of money for fun, I'd instead suggest that you actually start spending absolutely all of your money! Because if you can succeed in being perpetually slightly low on cash, you'll have much more reason to care about doing your businesses when you do want to buy something, which in turn drives your motivation to play again! Having a huge stash of money is bad for your motivation to play! Having a huge sash of money is like having an endless "Rich Daddy's Credit Card" in your wallet. Get rid of that credit card, buy a bunch of fun stuff, and enjoy the game more as a result!
• Play the Story: The vast majority of GTA Online players have barely touched the offline story. Why not relax with the story from time to time, gradually making your way through the epic offline story that started it all?
• Take a Break: If you're truly not finding any fun anymore, then take a break, perhaps a few weeks or a month is all you need to enjoy the game again! They also release content updates roughly twice per year, so you'll always have something new to return to in the future! :)

I (25M) feel that I have limerence for my 'friend' (22M). My friend and I met at work exactly a year ago, being office mates, and we connected quite well. But before I tell the story, I just want to say that as a bisexual person in a small town, the center of my social circle has always been straight guys, and I've never had issues with it. I've always had the ability to not develop romantic interest in friendships. So, when I look back at this situation, I don't know how I ended up here.
A year ago, when we became office mates, I did feel a crush on him. He's an attractive and sweet guy, and immediately, I remember perfectly, I tried not to get close to him, because I thought he was straight, at least until the crush faded away. But then, I felt that in our day-to-day interactions at work, there was some kind of reciprocation of attraction or at least; interest. It started with small gestures like getting me a more comfortable chair, waiting for me with coffee in the morning, the way his face lit up with a smile when I entered the office... Day by day, these details made me fall for him.
Perhaps they weren't the clearest signs of attraction, but... I let him in before the crush faded away.
During the following weeks and months at work, we started getting closer. I would say it was a pretty intimate friendship. After spending eight hours in a monotonous job, we would come home and call each other on the phone, talking until 2 am. We would spend weekends together, go out to dinner, make plans...
In one way or another, the relationship didn't feel like the ones I had with other friends. The closeness, the intimacy, the day-to-day interactions... It filled a loneliness that I didn't know existed, and yet, it intensified on the realization that he is straight.
But even so, I had already fallen for him.
Towards the end of the year, he met a girl, and I decided to meet new people as well. I met a girl, but it didn't work out. Shortly after, I met a guy, but that didn't work out either. I felt like I was already 'taken,' as if I had nothing more to offer in the romantic aspect, even though I knew it was all just an illusion.
Their relationship also ended up not working out. At some point, I don't remember the exact reason, driven definitely by my frustration, we had a discussion that forced us to sit down and talk honestly. We didn't define an "us," we weren't that brave, but we did address the situation. And that's when he said something that both excited and broke my heart.
"We're like a couple..." he said when we were talking about why it didn't work out with his ex, and he continued, "I didn't feel as appreciated as when I'm with you."
When we went out, he would sometimes comment on how comfortable he felt, maybe in our shared loneliness or heartbreak. He would say how he only wanted "this" (referring to the things we did together like going to the movies, eating, talking late into the night, making plans), but with a girl. My goodness! We even made plans to move in together.
At the beginning of this year, we both left our job. It was my escape route, a month of heartbreak, and eventually, I would forget about it. That was the plan, and I had executed it. I lasted only half a week until he came back to me, saying, "Let go of the nonsense. We're friends. We can stop talking for a couple of days to reduce the 'intensity' of the relationship, but we don't have to go away."After that, he didn't let go... He put more effort into staying close to me. And I, I let him do it.
By the end of January, I had landed a good job - remote, good pay, low responsibilities and stress. Sometimes there's nothing to do... (Truly a nearly perfect job xD). And when a position opened up in March, I gave it to him... Now we work together again.
And I feel like we're stuck in a loop. He's getting to know some girls, but he's already complaining about the same things, that it's not the same, that he doesn't feel 'appreciated.' And I... I feel trapped, hopeful, lonely, and in love.
So I ask for your advice. Just like that, it serves as a form of release.

Hello Redditors,
I hope you are all doing great,
I'm currently living in UAE and planning to visit Saudi on 10th of this month. I know it's the busiest time because of the Hajj season but i don't want to waste the opportunity. I will apply via Saudi Airline for a Transit visa and hopefully it'll be approved, Insha ALLAH. It'll also include 1 day free hotel but i will be in short span of time. I've planned my journey according to the listed schedule below;

1. Jeddah to Makkah (same day, 10th of June via Metro but i have heard the Govt offers free shuttle service from airport to Mecca free of cost, is this even true?)
2. Makkah to Madinah (next day, 11th of June via Metro).
3. Madinah to Jeddah (third or fourth day, 12-13th of June via Metro).

I'm planning to land > go to hotel > checkout the same time > go directly to Makkah and perform umrah first and rest in Makkah till the next day. Then I'll travel to Madinah and stay either a day or two based on the next flight layover duration. It'll be confirmed once i will book the tickets. Then i'll go to the Jeddah airpot via metro and that executes my journey pretty well, Insha ALLAH.
Is this the correct schedule or i should know anything else before going?
Thank you,
Abdul

Hi! First time to Kauai in a few weeks - traveling with my mom. Wondering if anyone could review my itinerary and let me know what I’m missing or should change other than my set bookings. Open to changing dining, though. I do not eat seafood unfortunately. Thanks so much.
Day #1: -Check into Grand Hyatt Kauai - Dinner at Keoki’s Paradise
Day #2: - Breakfast at Hyatt included in room rate - Mountain Tubing Adventure! -Casual dinner at Living Foods
Day #3 -Breakfast at Hyatt included room rate - Island Helicopters Grand Skies Island Tour with Jurassic Falls Landing Adventure (ends at 12:30pm) - I need something to do before dinner at 5pm (Plantation House by Gaylords). Maybe Wailua Falls?
Day #4 - Breakfast at Hyatt included in room rate - Relax at Hyatt - Early dinner at Tidepools
Day #5 - Hanapepe and Waimea Canyon
Day #6 - Open
Day #7 - Check out of Grand Hyatt Kauai - Open??? - Check into 1 Hotel Hanalei Bay - Princeville Makai Golf Cart Tour (5:15pm). Where to eat dinner before? They recommend eating at the golf club.
Day #8 - Relax at 1 Hotel - Hanalei Town?
Day #9 - Flight departs 2pm
Thanks so much!

Catch the full episode: https://www.wealthformula.com/podcast/371-ask-buck-june-2023/
Buck: Welcome back to the show, everyone. And today it's just me. Like old times. And we're going to take questions from the audience. There's actually no audience here in my room, in my office here. But I'm going to take questions from you. And we'll start with the question from Mike. Mike, here you go. Hello, Buckets. Mike Kaye from Melbourne Beach, Florida.
Mike: I was wondering if you were looking at any opportunities out there in regards to investing in distressed assets. I've noticed that rates have gone up in a lot of operators like Western wealth aren't cash flowing and are actually looking for more capital because they've got themselves into trouble. And if rates stay higher than expected, there could be some some pretty good deals as far as bailing folks out.
Buck: So I wanted to get your thoughts on if you were looking for anything out there as far as funds or whatever it may maybe create some opportunity here. Thanks, Mike. Thanks for the question, Mike. The answer well, let's start with this. Obviously, there's a lot of distress in the system right now. Interest rates have gone up a the steepest slope in American history.
And as you might expect, that has not been good for operators, particularly those who relied heavily on floating debt. You know, and this is important, I think, to understand what's going on a little bit, because you might be wondering why in the world would you use floating debt anyway? Well, if it's a long term hold, it never would really make sense to do that kind of short term debt.
However, and with these larger assets, the problem is fixing debt. If your plan is to, you know, ultimately sell. And, you know, 18 to 24 months, you are going to end up with an extremely high prepayment penalty. And so in those situations, the extremely short hold are the shorter hold models, you know, generally ran on floating rate. So if you're again, your business model is to get in and out in 18 months, it doesn't make sense to lock in the rates.
So obviously now they would be better off if we had. But everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face. Right. That is from Mike Tyson, not from me. But that's that's kind of what's happening across the board here, especially for floating rates. And as for looking into creating this fund, which, you know, maybe you got a rescue fund or something like that, that the answer was whether I, I think that that's potentially something to do is, well, yeah, it's certainly something to consider.
And I have thought about it. These are essentially these sort of preferred equity positions, essentially become the lender. So there's not like any tax benefits or anything like that. But so, you know, I have thought about this, but but before doing anything like that, I want to make sure, you know, the economics makes sense for everyone against, again, perhaps one of the most appealing parts of this fund might actually to be getting into some second positions and maybe be first in line if the property fails and you know it or is distressed, it needs to be taken over.
But I really need to think about it because I also want everyone to have as much dry powder as possible. And because, again, it is no fun to be in this environment and those people who are going to make money are going to be the ones that have like nerves of steel that, you know, are okay to feel like, okay, I'm losing some money on one hand, but there's an opportunity to buy distressed assets on the other side.
And that's where real money is made. And again, it's a psychological thing that happens in every cycle. And the key is to try to keep your wits about you and learn, you know, learn whatever lessons you have to learn and move on and deploy. I certainly am not one who is not learned from this experience. Myself, I absolutely have, and I think it'll make me a better investor going forward.
Unfortunately, we're still in the midst of this mess right now. But anyway, bottom line is the answer is yes, potentially. I've thought about it. And I think like those kinds of preferred equity, essentially debt being in the second position behind the main lender, that is that's potentially appealing. And certainly as an investor, I think it's appealing because essentially you're you're in a lending position. You're not you know, you're not in an equity position, so you're superior to the equity position. Hopefully that helps. All right. Let's go on to the next question here. So it's from John.
John: Hi, this is John Valentino. I listened to your excellent podcast every Sunday morning on my run, walk and find them uniquely interesting and helpful amongst a sea of podcasts that aren't.
Buck: Yesterday you mentioned Terry Loughlin and your late in life swimming experience. I'm 68 now and at 55 I decided to learn to swim. I researched all of Terry's stuff and ended up using a local swimming coach here in Fresno, California, who knew Terry and who had a lot of experience. He had me swimming, breathing and flipped, turning very quickly.
Four years ago when we visited Maui, I did a two mile ocean swim with some master swimmers. I now swam about a mile and a half every Sunday with which the swim coach they taught me. And I do that. I listen to your podcast. I'm sure we could get you swimming and breathing properly very quickly. He Fresno's not too far from Montecito. Good luck with your swimming and let me know if you'd like me to hook you up with Rich. The swim coach.
Buck: Well, John, thanks for that. That makes for a lighter moment in this sea of despair. Ha ha ha. That's funny, kid at sea of despair. He's swimming. Anyway, for those of you who don't know what John is referring to, I'll just take a minute because, you know, taking questions from all kinds.
All types of questions here is back in 2016, I think it was 16, I listened to Tim Ferriss podcast about how he spent his whole life trying to swim and unsuccessfully, I'd say, met up a guy, met up with a guy named Terry Loughlin, who taught his total immersion technique or tie. So I decided, well, gosh, you know, basically Tim Ferriss was talking about my story, like he spent his entire, like, you know, didn't learn to swim as a little kid and then all this and trying to catch up and no one could teach him.
And that was kind of where I was. I do like him numerous, like tries added back in my twenties and thirties, and then I kind of had given up. Then I contacted Terry. He was in New York, upstate New York. So he actually flew out there. I was in Chicago at the time and he taught me to swim in about 2 to 3 hours and it was really unbelievable to me.
And the only thing I didn't learn how to do during that visit was to breathe. And unfortunately, that was so that was like I was there for like a day and a half. And that was the part I didn't get to. So now I can swim, but only as long as I can hold my breath because I can't seem to, you know, I can't breathe and swim at the same time.
Unfortunately, Terry had, end stage cancer. When I saw him and I believe I was his last student before he died a couple of months later, and he'd actually stopped teaching for a while, you know, before I got to be the lucky one that he decided he had enough strength to go back for. So lucky for me. So but yeah, I would love to, you know, John, shoot me an email, you know, where I am and I get well for Malcolm Connect me to your guy.
And I think Fresno might be a little far, but if he's as good as Terry, maybe I could. Maybe I could learn to breathe in a day, too. So, hey, anyway, thanks. Thanks for that. Let's go on to the next question here. All right. This one's from I think it's Garima.
Garima: I am looking to become a real professional on studies. We've been doing real estate for a little bit but wanted to do this. I really need help. If you can guide me well and see.
Buck: Well, I don't know. I can do my best about that, Garima. And first of all, I have to preface this as I always do, that what I'm about to say is not legal or any kind of tax advice. I'm not a tax professional. My degree is in medicine. I'm a former board certified surgeon, but that doesn't qualify me for much. And this in this arena, it's just my understanding of the tax law, which, you know, I spent a fair amount of time thinking about. So it's not like what I'm saying should not be listened to, I think.
But on the other hand, the liability issues, I have to make very clear consult with your own tax professional before anything anyway. So again, probably the best thing I can do in terms of guiding is tell you what I know about the qualification as real estate professionals status. And by the way, I should also point out that the benefits that I'm going to talk about, there's a lot of this similar benefits without having the status in short term rentals.
And that episode, I believe, is 354. So go back and listen to that one. It's I thought that was a pretty interesting episode. But why is agreement talking about this RFP short for a real estate professional So everyone is on the same page? What is the real estate professional designation? Why is it useful? Well, a real estate professional is not the same thing, is in a real estate agent or a real estate broker, which are basically involved with real estate transactions.
They're involved as like the middleman. Right. That's not really the business of real estate. The real estate professional is someone who is who is materially involved with the business of owning and operating business. And the reason that this is important, we'll get to in a minute, but I'm going to go into the qualification parts of this. And again, I'm not giving you advice and basically telling you what I can gather from the IRS website And basically the material participation is one of the first things.
So you can't you can't be a limited partner in a bunch of real estate and call yourself a real estate professional. You have to have some activities that are truly owning and, you know, operating real estate. I mean, you have to be involved in the management operations of your rental properties, right? So the level of involvement is different than obviously if, you know, even if you have a propertyif you have a property manager or whatever, it's still going to be more active than if you're just a limited partner.
But another one of the things that you have to qualify for is you have to spend more than 50% of your total working hours in real estate activities. So in other words, if you know, if you've got a full-time job, you can't really qualify as a real estate professional. There has to be more hours than any other profession. Right? Your participation in real estate activities has to exceed anything else that you're doing in terms of business and employment. There's also something called the 750-hour test, which you must spend at least 750 hours per year on real estate activities. And some of these things that you can do include property management or rent collection or maintenance or advertising, other related issues, acquisitions, underwriting, etc.
I mean, there's a lot of things that, you know, once you own real estate, you can be an active owner, right? So anywhere that's... So why would you want this designation? Because it sounds onerous to go and try to make sure you've got all these things if you're not already doing it. Well, as you may know, the real estate income itself, that real estate income itself is considered passive income.
Right. And similarly, the losses from real estate in the form of depreciation are considered passive losses for most people. Those passive losses cannot be applied to any active income, right? So if you have an income of $500,000 and you happen to have $500,000 of depreciation or paper losses, you couldn't use those losses to offset your personal active income.
The reason is that one is active and one is passive. So you can't do that. And unfortunately, unless maybe you or your spouse, rather, with whom you file jointly is a real estate professional. So in this case, what would happen is those passive losses from real estate would become activated, in other words, their active losses. And you can, you know, you can offset anything with active losses, right.
And even W-2 income. So that's the idea. So, again, theoretically, check with your legal, you know, and tax people and hopefully they know what they're talking about. But see, if you're a C, if you're a doctor, you're making, again, $500,000. And let's say your spouse, who's a real estate professional, generated maybe $50,000 in income, but $300,000 of paper losses, you can deduct that $300,000 from the salary, that is earned income on the doctor's side.
So basically, that is what the huge, big deal is about this real estate professional status. And again, I'm not a tax professional, but this is something that a lot of people in our group do, and it is, you know, following the tax code, that's the key. So Garima, bottom line is I don't know how else I can guide you other than to give you information.
But, you know, I guess what I would do if I were you is, you know, try to figure out how you can actually, you know, get yourself qualified as a real estate professional and make sure that, you know, you fit those criteria and talk to your tax person about it. Okay. Next question is from Mark Hammons. Mark's question deals with tax law, and I'm not sure it's appropriate for this forum.
Feel free to pass on if you feel like addressing it. Well, it's another question. Well, you know how I feel about that. I'll tell you what I think. But
don't take it as tax advice in any sort of way. But okay, so here's the question Mark says. He says, I'm a partner in an LLC that was formed for residential development.
Our project is nearing completion, and this year it will take business income to be taxed at a 20% LLC rate. I will receive income from the sale of raw land and taxed as long-term capital gains. I'm a full-time physician and not actively involved in the business of land development. Can I offset any of this income with accumulated passive losses and leases?
Thanks, Mark, for all you do. Thank you, Mark. And well, as you may have gathered from the previous question and the answer that I gave Garima, you are a full-time physician, my friend, and therefore you do not qualify as a real estate professional, and therefore you cannot use those passive losses against your active income as a physician, and you are stuck in that stratification of income hell, which is that you've got these great-looking losses on the passive side and this great income on the active side, and you cannot do anything about it.
So now, if your wife was doing this real estate stuff and qualified as a real estate professional based on the criteria I mentioned earlier, then you would theoretically be able to apply those passive losses to active income, and boom, all of a sudden, you would have what it is you are hoping for. And anyway, but I do have people in our group who are literally, you know, with that spouse set up.
Well, that's why I brought it up, right, where they literally had a spouse quit their job so that they can switch to real estate professional status. And although their cash flow may constitute a theoretical pay cut from their job, the generated losses, paper losses, are being applied to the larger active income stack. There, in many cases, justifies that because they may make a total gross amount of income that's less.
But because of those passive losses, they actually get to keep more. So that's a complicated answer to a simple question. In my non-professional opinion, Mark, you are kind of screwed. Can't do that anyway. All right. So the next series of questions is from Terry. And let's see, let's start with the first one. Is this one. My understanding is there are U.S. dollars held overseas in the United States.
What would be the impact to the value of the dollar if the overseas cash had to be converted to CBDCs, which is central bank decentralized coins? Well, I'm no expert on this, but from what I know, I'm not sure it would have a material effect on anything overseas because as I understand, CBDCs is a little more than using distributed ledgers instead of central ledgers for digital money, right?
Because the thing is, you have to remember that 90% of the U.S. dollars are digital-only already. They do not exist in the physical world already. So what difference does it make if it's on a single ledger or if it's on a distributed ledger? I'm not sure that it does. As I understand it, the idea would be essentially to make it into like a software update almost, right, where the new digital currencies would be CBDCs.
But of course, I could be wrong, and my understanding of the plan that the U.S. has there is it could be wrong. I'm sure there's a larger plan eventually to use this as a way of maximizing tax revenues and tracking people's spending and that kind of thing. But in the short term, I don't really see how it has repercussions for money overseas.
But if somebody knows of something that would cause that, certainly email me. But I don't know that. Okay. This question is also from Terry. He says, "Rising interest rates have had an impact on existing multifamily operators, and it seems like part of the multifamily model relies on interest rate value being lower than cap rates." That's correct. "Combined with the multiplier effect of low cap rates for value-add projects, do you see cap rates going up until interest rates come down?"
How high can cap rates go before the value-add model is no longer viable? Are rents still rising fast enough to offset interest hikes? Okay. So yes, I do see cap rates going up. Remember, in order for debt to make sense, the interest rates must be lower than the cap rate. So if your borrowing rate is 5%, then your cap rate needs to be above that in order to have positive cash flow.
Otherwise, you're amplifying your losses. That said, often, you know, you may have seen in some cases operators buying things and they'll consider buying things like that. If there's an obvious thing that's going to drive up net operating income pretty quickly. But right now we are seeing rising cap rates. Now, as for the value-add model being viable, I would say that yes, the value-add model is viable in all interest rate environments and with all cap rates because remember, folks, real estate was not people didn't just start making money on value-add.
This has been around for some time, right? There are plenty of people who got rich off of value-add real estate in the eighties despite double-digit interest rates in double-digit cap rates. So what has created so much distress in this system is not the absolute interest rates. It's the pace at which the interest rates went up.
They're the moving goalposts. You see, every time you underwrite a property, you have to model in interest rates and reversion cap rates. And if rates are not stable, it's very difficult to underwrite. And that's why these real estate markets right now have been so illiquid. There really are no stable variables to underwrite with. Rightly, you got to have the goalposts, you got to know where the goalposts are so you can play the game right.
Once you have that stability, though, you can underwrite again, and in value-add real estate, the money isn't made based on interest rates being high or low, but it is made by ultimately creating a positive delta in the net operating income. And that can happen in all interest rate and cap rate environments. So I don't see it being an end to value-add real estate at all.
In fact, one could argue that if you're, say, you're buying real estate, which hopefully we are in the fall, and you're getting great deals on it, you know, the rates are high, but the numbers are making sense. You do your normal net operating income, you do your normal value-add program, you try to increase NOI, and you get lucky.
And by the time you're ready to sell, interest rates have actually come down. Well, in that case, you're going to actually probably get, you know, more for your property than you would otherwise if rates were stable. So I actually don't see this as something that is ending anything. In fact, I think those who, again, take advantage of a higher-rate environment and buy into assets that make sense at high interest rates could seriously make money in the next, you know, several years.
So let's see, the last question from Terry is, "What are your thoughts on portfolio allocation between real estate stocks, cash value insurance, gold, crypto, and cash?" Well, I might not be the best person to ask about portfolio allocation because I think my portfolio would make most money managers think, right? I'm about 75% real estate, maybe 5-7% crypto, mostly Bitcoin, Ethereum, and the remaining investments are things that I believe are uncorrelated.
The most stable thing is, you know, I'm a big fan of cash value life insurance in part because, I mean, it is so stable. I mean, seriously, it is incredibly stable. If you look at the environment that we're in right now, it makes you, again, think you should be buying more cash value life insurance. It's extremely stable.
And this is why it was such a big deal during the Great Depression. People lived through the Depression and had no faith in anything except for cash value life insurance, which is what they were buying. But anyway, I think, in particular, I'm talking about these strategies that we're calling, well, formula banking or various leverage dials, wealth accelerators, things like that.
So there's that. I'm also obviously into other things that we have in our group. We're involved with like ATMs, which, you know, don't seem to have much correlation with the economy per se because people who use that still needed it. Good times or bad and did well even through COVID. You know, there's also things that we're doing, like I'm invested in things like, you know, cargo ships that are delivering essential oil and gas to the country, things like that, where again, it's not something that is significantly correlated with the rest of the markets.
And I think that's one of the things to really make sure that you're not... I mean, listen, I guess in my case, being 75% real estate, I mean, it's not a good time to be 75% real estate right now. Right. I probably... I mean, if I did the numbers, I'm probably less than 75% real estate now because I probably lost quite a bit of value in the real estate.
But I'm not even going to look at that right now for this purpose. But ultimately, though, you know, listen, personal finance should be personal. I don't own stocks, although I'm not against stocks. I'm just, you know, not a guy who really owns stocks except for some big, really, you know, asymmetric plays in the energy space, you know, through Mercatus and things like that.
I don't own any physical gold, although again, I've talked about possibly wanting to do that. I don't really want to right now, but I'm hoarding cash right now because I think there are going to be tremendous buying opportunities in real estate with distressed assets, and I think that's going to be the name of the game in Q4. So but again, I do not think it's a good idea to listen to me about portfolios.
I think I think it's if you want those kinds of things, you probably should, you know, talk to others, talk to, talk to, you know, our RIA's, things like that. But to me, again, personal finance is really personal. And for me, I'm, you know, I'm pretty aggressive on some of the things that I have a lot of belief in.
So, okay. Well, I guess that's my last question. Before I go, I want to remind you that there's another actually, there's actually another podcast that I do now, which is, you know, it's kind of just taking something that I was spending a lot of time learning about and and and trying to process myself and turning it into another show so that I could share with you.
The show is called CPO, CPO. You can find it on pretty much all of the ways that you find this show and
hopefully on YouTube soon too. We haven't quite gotten to YouTube, I think, but the show is, I think, very interesting because, you know, we talk about wealth on the show, but I mean, you know, what do what is more what's more coveted than, you know, actually having health because then your wealth is actually useful.
So a lot of Sabio is really about various types of longevity and wellness type stuff on the science that we know out there. Really interesting stuff to me and would love for you to check it out again at Sabio with Buck Joffrey. Check it out and let me know if you like it. Give me a positive review. That's it for me.
This week on Wealth Formula podcast, this is Buck Joffrey signing off.

Campaign name: Icarus's wings
Dms time zone: GMT
Character sheets: d&d beyond
Players needed:4
Session dates: Thursdays at 6:30pm gmt.
starting level:3
Type of campaign: high fantasy mediaeval campaign
Homebrew content: the world, plot and environment is homebrew but only sourcebook spells and races are allowed.
Races available: aarakocra, dragonborn, hill dwarf, Mountain dwarf, high elf, wood elf, eladrin elf, earth genasi, air genasi, fire genasi, water genasi, rock gnome, deep gnome, goliath, half elf, half orc, lightfoot halfling, stout halfling, human, varian human, tiefling and variant aasimar
Classes available: Barbarian, bard, cleric, druid, fighter, monk, paladin, ranger, rogue, sorcerer, warlock, wizard and artificer
Vtt or theory of the mind: theory of the mind
Plot synopsis : In a world where angels and mortals unknowingly coexist, an ancient prophecy begins to unfold. four individuals from four completely different backgrounds, each with their own skills and backgrounds, find themselves inexplicably drawn together when a dying angel appears before them, his radiant, glowing skin fading and wings seemingly melting away.
The angel reveals that he is a messenger named Icarus from the celestial realm, who has see a very dark future for the mortal world. a dark force known as the sovereign plans to take over the world and feast on the souls of whoever it can get its hands on. Icarus who has been viewing mortal kind from afar has grown fond of of the land and its people has tried to talk to other angels and even a god. but they are not interested in interfering. so Icarus has taken matters into his own hands giving up his immortal body to alert a group of mortals of the prophecy he has seen, hoping he is not too late.
How to contact me: message me with your interest for the campaign, send me your preferred pronouns, age, time zone and your discord username. I will add you on discord to message you about the campaign.

New account for anonymity of course.
Years ago I was working a job. It was a simple job, but it was rather enjoyable at times. It was a lot of soldering, manufacturing, etc. Its where I learned how to solder which I've actually loved since.
After I worked there for about 8-10 months we got a new batch of new hires, one was a very short woman who was incredibly sassy and clearly didn't take shit from anyone. Within the first 2-3 days of working with her, I still remember one as we were all clocking in I offered for her to clock in ahead of me and she waved me ahead saying "women first". It was rather endearing honestly.
A few weeks into working with her (not always on the same shift or job assignment, so we didn't always work "together" at all) we started to talk a bit more and more. Turns out she's married, 2 kids, nice family, good lil life. She's just working this to help out with the bills. I ended up teaching her a lot about the job as I had learned a lot prior to her showing up and had taken quite well to this kind of work. As time goes on we get closer, talking more about life, family, etc. I explain my situation saying I'm still living at home sadly (was 28 at the time, lot of bad choices / situations in my life) and her being 32 I believe at the time, saying she doesn't think she loves her husband anymore and that she's not totally unhappy... Just.. Not fulfilled I suppose is the best word.
Well as it turns out, I didn't have the best morals at all, because over time we grew closer and closer and I flirted a lot. Like... A lot. And she flirted wasn't innocent in the slightest, she flirted back as much if not more.
For clarification, we worked the swing shift so we'd get off work around midnight and every few weeks a few of us would go to a strip club together after our shift, eat some food, hang out, etc. Well one of those nights her and I went out alone to the strip club together. Just us, eating food, enjoying the show, etc. After about 2 hours we ended up back in my car like 100 feet away from the entrance and after talking/flirting a bit more we ended up having sex for the first time in my car right outside of a strip club. Romantic, I know. That was our first time. Many more times were to come.
Over time we continued to keep this up. We joined the local gym together and again, after our shift we'd go to work out together. We had sex in their pool, their sauna, my car, her car. My car a few times during our lunch break (I'd drive for like 2 min away from our building, find a remote spot and yeah). We took a few "vacations" together. Where she'd tell her family it was a "work" thing and we'd rent a hotel at a nice resort for a few nights and it always ended up being a sexcapade. She'd come over to my family's house and we'd have sex there even though most of them knew of the situation.
To say this was all batshit and awful is no where close to what it actually boiled down to.
Over time I grew jealous, knowing she was the cheating type as I saw her often flirting with other men at work. I'd get really upset about it because (me being the complete idiot that I am) I actually did fall in love with her and truly saw a world where in a few months I was gonna buy a ring and ask her to leave her family to marry me. Again, just awful everywhere. Anyways, I'd confront her about my jealousy issues and she'd always gaslight me. Like HEAVY gaslighting. Eventually after many many fights, I decided to take a leap of faith and give in and *fully* trust her.. Great idea..
It was a lovely few weeks until I decided to quit that job to advance my career with a new job, but I had a lot of money saved so I was going to take some time off and just enjoy not working for a bit. Once I was officially done with that job, her and I still dated, saw each other, had sex, went on dates, etc. All the normal stuff except now our schedules are totally off so we didn't see each other as often. And then the texts and calls start coming in from some of my old co-workers... Saying she is now going to lunch with THAT guy (the one I was jealous off awhile ago), that she comes to work in his car, goes home in his car, they eat lunch together, etc etc. Pretty much everything that her and I did, and look where that landed us.
So I did the rational thing and followed them one morning. Turns out that yes, they were at the very least kissing/groping. And me being me, I had a meltdown and snapped. I finally gave in trusting her (which ofc was a terrible, terrible idea, but I did love her unfortunately) and it turned out everything I had thought ended up being true. The gaslighting was broken, eyes opened, I was upset.
To clarify one thing really quick, I realize in no world am I the victim here since I was a MAIN aspect to her cheating on her husband initially. So clearly I'm not looking for sympathy, I'm a villain here as well. I still got rocked hard in the end, which I suppose is fitting.
So I kind of go nuclear here now. I asked an old co-worker (a friend of the new guy she's with) for his address and he knew of the entire situation (we were not coy at work, at all, everyone knew) and so he told me where he lives with his family AND his girlfriend. So I go there, ask for the girlfriend, talk to her, explain the situation, she doesn't believe me, but listens to me. I actually don't know what if anything came from this, but she was told the story all the same.
Next is where this all starts to spiral. The woman I've been with now knows that I know, and she continues to gaslight even with me showing her endless amounts of proof she continues to deny.. So one night when she was at work (still on the swing shift) I went to HER house. The house with her husband and kids. Knocked on the door, the husband answers and I ask if I can speak to him outside.
I now fully explain the entire situation. And I mean... The ENTIRE situation. Everything. All of our "work vacations" which were a lie. He asked how many times we had sex, where, etc. All the details and I info dumped on him. Eventually ending with the reason for me doing this is that she's doing it again with *another* guy (btw a few months prior to ALL this shit I forgot to mention that she "fooled around" with another totally different co-worker, not sex but still messed around with them) and explained the original guy and also myself. And if nothing else told him he needs to talk to her and figure out what to do, whats going on, etc.
Fast forward a night or two? 3? idk, I started drinking HEAVILY during all of this, but at one point surprise surprise, for the first time in a week or two she shows up at my home after her shift. She's broken, crying, just... sad and depressed. She wasn't upset or angry because she knows we both hurt each other, so I wasn't angry with her in this moment, I just felt bad looking right in the eyes of a woman that I loved and seeing her broken. She kept talking about that night about killing herself, "just let me do it... It'll be easier" or something like that. I kept saying no and despite wanting to break down myself I suddenly found some sort of will and decided to take her back home. I asked my brother to drive my car behind me so that I could drive her car back to her house, back to the man that I recently spoke to about everything... Dropping off an extremely upset wife of his. Awkward doesn't even begin to describe the scenario.
So that was it. We stopped talking, she's still alive. No clue on her family situation though I suspect they worked through it.
Last update I can offer with all of this. Fast forward... 8 months later? Maybe? Maybe it was a year, I'm really unsure. But I got a job offer for being a supervisor at this new manufacturing plant. The pay was great considering what I was being paid. So I showed up, dressed up nicely for the first time in weeks (finally starting to feel better after this shit show) and as I'm finding a spot to park.... I see her car. I *KNOW* her car, she had a unique sticker on the back. It was hers. So like 15 min before my interview, I'm now struggling to fight off a panic attack outside. Eventually I suck it up, talk to the employer for awhile, they seem interested and we decide to go on a tour of their factory. As we're walking around my heart SINKS as I see her working quietly, and the interviewer addresses them and says this is "my name here" and he's applying for the supervisor role, just giving him a quick tour". We make eye contact and you can tell we're both breaking down instantly. She runs off to the bathroom, we move on with the tour, I don't accept the job and thats it. Last time I saw her or anyone in that whole world.
So thats my first confession here. Hopefully its not too convoluted or incoherent, its hard to write it all down since it happened years ago and I'm sure I missed numerous aspects, but this is the bulk of it.
Enjoy?