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Me (F19) and my bf (M22) have been in a relationship for about 3 months now. We were best friends for about a year before that. We are in a very healthy relationship and I love him to death, but there’s this issue that has been bothering me for about a month now.
To preface this, we live in different countries and he’s in the process to move in with me in about 3 months. He’s working really hard to save for this big move, I really appreciate everything he does and I’m very proud of him. For context, I have 2 part time jobs and he has 1 fulltime job. He earns wayyy more than me and gets to keep everything he earns since he still lives with his parents and doesn’t have to pay rent or for anything else (which is totally fine, hey if you can do it why not?). Everything I earn I basically have to hand to my mother so we can support ourselves since she can’t work. We also get a small amount of money from the government because we’re eligible. We’re literally in debt. Me and my mom are middle to lower class and his family is middle to upper class.
He has been very generous to me and my mom at times when it came to financial support, which I will always be grateful for. But he also gives me the impression that spending money on me is an inconvenience, and it makes me feel bad. He tells me that he’s saving for the move and that’s why he’s being “stricter than usual” but idk how I feel about that.
Like he asked me to pay him €40 back for something even though I was in a very tough situation and he could easily go without it. Granted, he told me to keep it later on but that request stayed with me. I always have to ask for help, which I’m so very embarrassed by. I’m just sad that helping me doesn’t naturally come to him, like he doesn’t really want to do it but he’ll do it out of pressure? Idk. We’re talking like $20, $50, $80. Those numbers are nothing to him, but a lot to me. He’s ready to spend that money on games and other stuff regularly. There seems to be somewhat of a disconnect with what I have to experience on a daily bases since he grew up financially secure.
Mind you, me and my mom made it abundantly clear that he doesn’t have to pay rent when he comes to live with us, just help with groceries here and there. He said that he’ll pay half, and look for a job here while doing that (which is great!). But I don’t get why he’s so hesitant when it comes to helping before the move? Is it cause he doesn’t get anything out of it?
Every time I think of what I would do in his position, I just get more upset. I would give my partner the world. If the roles were reversed, I would literally pay off all his debt and pay for anything he needed. It really doesn’t help that my love language is gift giving either lol.
This is a man that tells me he wants to marry me and have kids with me. On top of that, I come from a Middle Eastern family, where men do absolutely everything to take care of their woman (he’s American). Making sure that they’re comfortable and spoiling them. Their wives reaching for their wallet is almost like an insult. My father didn’t do a lot right in his life, but that’s something he did do that stuck with me.
Don’t get me wrong, this is not me wanting to be spoiled (even though it would be nice for once lmaoo). It’s more about being secure and taken care of. It’s the fact that he can easily do that but prefers not to.
I’ve brought this up very loosely before but I think the whole issue just went over his head. This is such a difficult subject for me to talk about, I don’t wanna sound ungrateful, or like I’m a gold digger or anything like that. I don’t want to hurt his feelings either cause I love him so much and he does everything else right. At the end of the day, he doesn’t owe me anything.
What should I do?
TLDR: I feel like an inconvenience to my bf for wanting to feel financially secure with him.

So I [24M] have a 10-month old yellow lab named Moxie.
When I got Moxie, I was a single man and was dealing with a lot of loneliness. My parents were dog breeders and gave her to me, and at the time she was a big help to me emotionally. The problem was I lived alone in a tiny apartment, and because of my job, I had to leave Moxie in a crate for long hours. Shortly after, I met my now fiancé, and of course life got a lot more hectic after our engagement.
My problem is that Moxie is beginning to show some aggression toward me. She has passed teething stage and her bites are a lot harder than they used to be. She sometimes bites me when I try to pet her, or when I'm trying to cuddle with her. When I pull her off of me, she sometimes comes back in for another bite and growls. The only thing that has worked so far is if I stand up, tell her 'no' firmly, and walk away. However, this is a lot harder to do when a 60 lb lab is on top of you and biting down on her hand. For context, she is typically not aggressive toward other people / dogs; she is a very extroverted dog and loves people. I'm the only person she has done this with.
I have tried working with her, and she responds best to treats or food. The moment I have something in my hand, she becomes totally submissive and responds to commands. She's a very smart dog, and I know that when I tell her to do something without treads, she knows what I'm saying. However, I don't want to have to rely on food all of the time to get her to listen.
I am 100% sure her behavior has to with her being in her crate, which I take full blame for. I think she may be dealing with anxiety from being in her create most of the day. It breaks my heart, and I can't help but feel responsible. I should have realized what I was getting myself into when I got her, and that living alone with a dog is a lot more difficult than when you have a family to help. Fortunately, we are in the middle of moving and Moxie now has a yard area to run in, as well as a place where we can put a dog run. But I will be honest, I'm afraid that if Moxie's behavior doesn't change that she will end up hurting my fiancé.
My question is: what is the best course of action for correcting her behavior at this stage? What can I do as the owner to do my part in helping Moxie bite less, and train her better? Are treats the best way to go for now, or should she be put in obedience classes?

Dear people of Reddit,
I {16f} am going on a school trip to New Orleans in a couple of weeks. I am very excited, and grateful for the opportunity, and a little scared to be stuck ith my class for a whole week, but I think I can do it! The only issue is that I want accommodation, and my mom disagrees. The whole thing is just making me reconsider everything, and I need some advice.
For a bit of background i got to a Waldorf School, and there very big on there no-phone policy. Only a year ago did I join this school after we moved, so I'm still fairly new.
For background on my mental health I'll try not to go into detail unless it's relevant or I have too, I don't want to trama dump on some strangers. I'm the oldest of three biological siblings, and two step-siblings. My mom remarried, which was the reason for our move. My dad isn't the best, and I often study psychology in my free time, which is why I have gained such a strong insite on my own mental health. . Either way I've developed a large amount of trust issues, especially when it comes to adults. I also have a fear of being trapped, whether it be socially, mentally, verbally, physically or whatever. PTSD is something I have as well and big amounts of it, but I'm usually good at keeping that under control so it really presents itself as paranoia or anxiety.
Which brings me to the problem at hand, we are bringing phones on the trip, but there being taken by the staff with us.
We NEED to have phones, as were in another state, and they said they would give them to us if we were to split up, but that is all.
I've frequently brought the idea of me possibly being able to keep my phone to my mother, but her motto is always ' Walk through the fire ', otherwise known as ' No, you don't need that '. When pushed she said she got this advice from parenting classes and podcasts she attended or listened to, she said that when you have kids with anxiety you can't give them a crutch because that's basically saying you can't do that without this. I honestly found it infuriating, especially since she used it in a way that at least translated to me like ' You don't know about your own anxiety and needs, these people do. '. I dont think its my anxiety either, i'm pretty sure it stems from my PTSD, she just doesn't understand that. On frequent occasions prior to this she would claim, ' Your father did that to you, not me, you have no reason to be mad or scared of me. '. It brings me to the thinking that she just doesn't understand it {As in PTSD} in general, despite having some herself.
I've brought this up to my therapist and school counselor, but both can only do so much. I've even changed my request from my phone to my tablet {I only really use it to draw, which I use as a coping mechanism.}.
Shes refused that to, and im at a lost of what to do. Ive abided her wishes before when it comes to ' Walking through the Fire. ' and it always ends up with pain. I always just went with it because I could use it as evidence in the future, but thats clearly not helping.
I don't know what to do anymore, please help.

I remember a few weeks back, or maybe months, there was a post about Statistics courses and which was easier for a beginner. I have searched for that post now that i am getting closer to choosing classes and cannot for the life of me find it. I have absolutely zero background on stats as I was one of the few that didn’t take it in highschool. Of STAT 0200, STAT 0800, and STAT 1000, which would be the best or easiest for someone with no experience?

Summer is cancelled and Icewind Dale is screwed unless you can figure out what the hell is going on...

What are you waiting for?

Icewind Dale Player Commercial
Hello, my friends! My name is Alex. I've run this campaign twice before and I'm pretty excited to see what kind of wackiness we can get up to this time around! This will be an above average experience if I can help it and I hope to make tons of friends along the way! If you're into roleplaying, jokes, subversion of expectation, mystery, whimsy, or simply "clownin' around", if you like Dimension 20 or anything Brennan Lee Mulligan or Emily Axford does, or if you're looking for a D&D game with a mix of goofy, weird, stupid, and serious with a splash of storytelling pizzazz, then this is the game for you!!!I recognize that this is supposed to be an overall serious campaign, and it is, don't get me wrong! But I'm a pretty wacky guy and this game will lean less on the harsh atmosphere and more into the interconnected story threads, personal plots if they arise, and the fear that something more powerful than you could be hiding around any corner. Utilizing Foundry VTT, I've been able to enhance the adventure with musical themes and sound effects for most scenes, automation, and animations for tons of spells, quest tracking, and several leveled maps with dynamically changing walls, lighting, and 3d vision calculations!
Let me tell you a bit about myself, though...
I come from a writing, directing, and video production background and have been putting these skills to good use at my digital gaming table for over 3 years now. I'm hoping I can apply the skills I'm good at to provide an above average experience to new and experienced players alike. I love to get into character and on top of accents here and there, I have my video feed switch to show images of significant NPCs when possible, not to mention all the music I have picked out for each unique encounter. I spend time picking from backstories and integrating fun easter eggs/story content for each player.
Overall, I'm a goofy guy, looking to land a joke whenever possible, but I have a knack for narrative thread and always set out to weave an interesting tale.
"...The overall value on your end was worth it, 100%. You ran an engaging, entertaining game and I enjoyed being one of your players." - Previous Player
"...This has been one of the best roleplaying experiences I've had!" - Current Player
"...You are a great and creative DM. I appreciate the effort you put in." - Current Player
Read more reviews on my StartPlaying profile
To get a sense of my style, feel free to check out episodes of my previous Witchlight campaign where two of our players will be joining us from. The Wild Beyond Playlist

Game Details and Extras

• Open to players of all experience levels.
• I lean heavily on the concept of "yes, and..." I like to go with the flow of what you're putting down and tend not to "no, but..." unless it conflicts with existing world elements...
• I'll work with you outside (and inside) of the game to build a character that fits into the setting and story line. I like to spread bits of information out across players so they can roleplay to put them together.
• Character creation will be done on dndbeyond and you will have access to a vast majority of the sourcebook bundle to choose from, as far as races and classes go, for as long as you remain in the game.
• Previous games have been 60/40 roleplay/combat with the potential swings in either direction depending on the chapter, but the ending chapters do lean into combat much more.
• Although I'll be running the main essence of the module, I'll be adapting bits as necessary to help with story flow, mystery, and suspense, as well as incorporating character backstory here and there.
• We will be running the official Rime of the Frostmaiden module with all the included maps and artwork (that I've digitally enhanced), including a number of extra maps and NPC art I've collected or created personally. All of these with dynamic lighting effects and.
• A number of maps have been expanded utilizing Forgotten Adventures beautiful assets.
• Due to the voice and video content, our game will be played with voice and video through discord. Please have a decent microphone.
• We will be using Foundry VTT for play, but you will still create characters in dndbeyond to be imported over. Foundry has outdone Roll20 in my opinion and has a large number of modules to help with combat automation, attack animations, music, sound effects, lighting effects, time tracking, etc. Additionally, there are a number of per-user settings you can customize such as choosing your own on screen 3d dice, picking animations for the summoning of your various beast or familiars, turning down the music, etc
• I have collected a large number of sound effects, music, and ambiences that I incorporate into each scene. I like to hand pick songs to accompany each unique encounter, with variations depending on possible outcomes.
• I try to change my voice to imitate various monsters and NPCs and utilize imagery in my webcam for all significant characters who have art in the book.
• Foundry has the potential to be processor intensive and a decent computer is recommended, but there are settings that can be lowered to allow for some lower end machines.
• Sessions are streamed live on Twitch and then archived on YouTube.
• $15 per session.

How to Apply

Quick google form, post here, or DM me if you have questions.
Player Application

Summer is cancelled and Icewind Dale is screwed unless you can figure out what the hell is going on...

What are you waiting for?

Icewind Dale Player Commercial
Hello, my friends! My name is Alex. I've run this campaign twice before and I'm pretty excited to see what kind of wackiness we can get up to this time around! This will be an above average experience if I can help it and I hope to make tons of friends along the way! If you're into roleplaying, jokes, subversion of expectation, mystery, whimsy, or simply "clownin' around", if you like Dimension 20 or anything Brennan Lee Mulligan or Emily Axford does, or if you're looking for a D&D game with a mix of goofy, weird, stupid, and serious with a splash of storytelling pizzazz, then this is the game for you!!!I recognize that this is supposed to be an overall serious campaign, and it is, don't get me wrong! But I'm a pretty wacky guy and this game will lean less on the harsh atmosphere and more into the interconnected story threads, personal plots if they arise, and the fear that something more powerful than you could be hiding around any corner. Utilizing Foundry VTT, I've been able to enhance the adventure with musical themes and sound effects for most scenes, automation, and animations for tons of spells, quest tracking, and several leveled maps with dynamically changing walls, lighting, and 3d vision calculations!
Let me tell you a bit about myself, though...
I come from a writing, directing, and video production background and have been putting these skills to good use at my digital gaming table for over 3 years now. I'm hoping I can apply the skills I'm good at to provide an above average experience to new and experienced players alike. I love to get into character and on top of accents here and there, I have my video feed switch to show images of significant NPCs when possible, not to mention all the music I have picked out for each unique encounter. I spend time picking from backstories and integrating fun easter eggs/story content for each player.
Overall, I'm a goofy guy, looking to land a joke whenever possible, but I have a knack for narrative thread and always set out to weave an interesting tale.
"...The overall value on your end was worth it, 100%. You ran an engaging, entertaining game and I enjoyed being one of your players." - Previous Player
"...This has been one of the best roleplaying experiences I've had!" - Current Player
"...You are a great and creative DM. I appreciate the effort you put in." - Current Player
Read more reviews on my StartPlaying profile
To get a sense of my style, feel free to check out episodes of my previous Witchlight campaign where two of our players will be joining us from. The Wild Beyond Playlist

Game Details and Extras

• Open to players of all experience levels.
• I lean heavily on the concept of "yes, and..." I like to go with the flow of what you're putting down and tend not to "no, but..." unless it conflicts with existing world elements...
• I'll work with you outside (and inside) of the game to build a character that fits into the setting and story line. I like to spread bits of information out across players so they can roleplay to put them together.
• Character creation will be done on dndbeyond and you will have access to a vast majority of the sourcebook bundle to choose from, as far as races and classes go, for as long as you remain in the game.
• Previous games have been 60/40 roleplay/combat with the potential swings in either direction depending on the chapter, but the ending chapters do lean into combat much more.
• Although I'll be running the main essence of the module, I'll be adapting bits as necessary to help with story flow, mystery, and suspense, as well as incorporating character backstory here and there.
• We will be running the official Rime of the Frostmaiden module with all the included maps and artwork (that I've digitally enhanced), including a number of extra maps and NPC art I've collected or created personally. All of these with dynamic lighting effects and.
• A number of maps have been expanded utilizing Forgotten Adventures beautiful assets.
• Due to the voice and video content, our game will be played with voice and video through discord. Please have a decent microphone.
• We will be using Foundry VTT for play, but you will still create characters in dndbeyond to be imported over. Foundry has outdone Roll20 in my opinion and has a large number of modules to help with combat automation, attack animations, music, sound effects, lighting effects, time tracking, etc. Additionally, there are a number of per-user settings you can customize such as choosing your own on screen 3d dice, picking animations for the summoning of your various beast or familiars, turning down the music, etc
• I have collected a large number of sound effects, music, and ambiences that I incorporate into each scene. I like to hand pick songs to accompany each unique encounter, with variations depending on possible outcomes.
• I try to change my voice to imitate various monsters and NPCs and utilize imagery in my webcam for all significant characters who have art in the book.
• Foundry has the potential to be processor intensive and a decent computer is recommended, but there are settings that can be lowered to allow for some lower end machines.
• Sessions are streamed live on Twitch and then archived on YouTube.
• $15 per session.

How to Apply

Quick google form, post here, or DM me if you have questions.
Player Application

Thank you for coming out of the shadows. Thank you for constantly reminding us who you are and why you will never really wish for peace, no matter how many politicians you bribe with lucrative deals into saying you do. As you learned from us and made your country stand on our buildings, lands, companies and blood - we are now going to learn from you. You are mortgaging your doom by spreading Armenophobia EVEN AFTER a full scale genocide. Keep trying to erase us. That'll only make us smarter and stronger. May the best team win on Saturday. Off the football pitch, we won't allow you to treat us as slaves or second (third) class citizens no more. We were born to be free. Like it or not. We're not the eternal nation for nothing.

I messed up a sure thing.
For decades, I’ve been trying to find a career that works for me. I got a law degree in the 90s and tried lawyering for 15 years. I slowly went broke and destroyed my marriage. I tried real estate management, insurance sales, silversmithing . . . In the meantime, my Dad descended into Alzheimer’s and I had serious issues with my hips that required a bunch of major surgeries over the course of five years. I had to go on disability.
By 2017, my Dad had passed away and I was feeling better. I enrolled in welding school. Before and during Covid, I got a job at the welding school as the lab assistant. It was only part time and besides, I was in pain from all the standing on concrete floors. (I still have issues with my hips, knees, ankles and feet). So I quit last August, thinking about truck driving to get off my feet.
In October, I stumbled on a local trucking company’s paid apprenticeship program. I signed up, and started in January. The company is great! Very understanding and accommodating about my lingering disabilities. They sent me on a five day ride-along with one of their over-the-road drivers, then three weeks of school to pass the state exam. I got my Class A Commercial Drivers License on the first attempt. Then, I hauled loads across the Midwest and East Coast with a trainer sitting in the cab with me, teaching me the ropes. Three weeks of that, without any incidents or problems. I was certain I’d be off disability soon!
It was all going so well. I thought I was ready. My instructor and trainers thought I was ready. Time for my Final Evaluation, which is when the Director of Safety and Operations runs me through my paces to see if he trusts me with the company’s equipment and reputation.
I met the safety director in his office. We had a good interview about how my training rides had gone and how I would handle certain situations. Out at the truck, he was happy with how I conducted my pre trip inspection. I hitched and inspected the trailer just fine. I pulled around and set up to back into a spot. As I backed in and got the left tires right on the yellow line, I felt I was a little too far right, so I got out and looked. Woah! Too close! Pulled up, came back with a little more angle, looking good.
But then I misjudged my overhang swing and bumped the trailer to my right. I actually pushed it three inches. He shouted for me to get out of the cab and go wait in his office.
I sat there for forty-five minutes, thinking I would be sent back for another week for training runs. I was stunned when the Director walked in and he told me I was fired. He explained that, had been someone else’s trailer, it would have been an “incident.” If its owner wanted to be a dick, it could turn into a $1500 repair. Since I made that dumb mistake on a final bill evaluation, with him standing right there, he couldn’t trust me to do it safely out in the field.
That was last Monday. This Saturday, my best friend and girlfriend took me out to a fancy dinner to “celebrate.” They had made the reservations a month ago, when I was confident that I’d be assigned a truck to myself and be earning real money by then. They both knew the whole story, but I still felt like a fraud.
The Director gave me a little hope, though. He told me that he would tell prospective employers simply that I had failed my final eval. He encouraged me to find work at a bigger carrier, and come back when I had a few months of incident-free experience. Then he would retest me and consider bringing me back on.
Now I’m out here in the cold, trying to find work along with thousands of other, more able-bodied novice drivers. I’m afraid I found the one company that would work with me, and I fucked it up at the last minute.

Wow. It's hard to put this into words. But I feel like I'm making a realization. I may not absorb it immediately, but it's still a realization nonetheless.
This is a follow up to these three posts: https://www.reddit.com/IncelExit/comments/zx05ce/focusing_on_small_details_versus_the_big_picture/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
https://www.reddit.com/IncelExit/comments/zumtun/friendship_advice_needed/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
https://www.reddit.com/IncelExit/comments/10sx2tt/moving_on_3_update/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
Quick summary: I developed a friendship with someone several months ago and we became close. We hung out a lot at that point and also developed a system of hugs and handshakes. I noticed that sometimes she doesn't respond to text messages, or requests a smaller form of hug/handshake. I then became worried that these were signs that she was pulling back, and this was the beginning of a slippery slope that would result in the end of the friendship.
I've covered this topic extensively with my family, and they became concerned that I was obsessed with her. And now that I think about it, I agree with them. It may not have been a romantic obsession, but still an obsession nonetheless - an obsession out of an excessive worry of losing her, even though there were never any actual bad signs to begin with.
I realized that a lot of my previous worries about supposedly losing her after massive gains in the friendship came from past bad social experiences in high school. Many of these were "crushes" that ended in a damaged friendship and sometimes being blocked on social media. A lot of these experiences were my own fault. Another source of these worries came from someone whom I used to be close with, but turned out to be a toxic person who gave me a lot of anxiety about interpersonal relationships, and gave me bad advice. (In fact, I recently blocked him on all social platforms for this exaact reason.)
I inherited a lot of bad mindsets and interpersonal relationship strategies from these sources. My past response to an apparent "pulling back" from the other person was to put even more energy into the relationship by making myself excessively available, excessively apologizing, and not giving them space to try to cover the apparent losses. (While I like the idea of apologizing, I think it can actually make certain situations worse if the issue at hand wasn't even huge to begin with.) These bad experiences have made me hyperaware of minute details within relationships, from responses to texts (or the lack thereof) to whether or not they're talking to other people, and recently, patterns of hugs and handshakes. They have made me excessively worry that one small interruption in these processes will just be the start of a slippery slope that could spell disaster for the friendship. I was afraid to just be my true self and let go of minute details, out of fear that would end in disaster because I was apparently too carried away to notice the supposed bad signs.
I have instinctually treated interpersonal relationships as a competition where I have to race to the finish line to receive a prize as fast as possible, as opposed to the more natural processes by which interpersonal relationships form. I became afraid of the other person talking to other people, or even doing their own thing, because I feared that meant I was losing the competition, and so I needed to compete harder. I first learned this instinct when trying to enter romantic relationships, but I've also unintentionally applied it to platonic friendships as well. This was only made worse by the bad dating advice that I have recieved that has essentially pushed the idea of treating it as a competition, or you will "miss your chance."
It's easy for me to assume that people, and by extension interpersonal relationships, are constant. I want to believe that they are nice, neat, formulaic, and follow a predictable sequence of events. But here's the truth: they're not. I've had to learn it the hard way. People are complicated creatures. Sometimes we want one thing, and sometimes we don't. We can be in the mood for one thing, and not in the mood for another thing. This extends to interpersonal relationships. Sometimes there's lots of enthusiasm and excitement, and other times not so much. I guess it's just the nature of interpersonal relationships, and it doesn't change whether you're close to the other person or not.
Looking back at these previous posts, I almost giggle at myself knowing how much I've worried over minute details and approached this college-level friendship with the attitude of a teenager. In hindsight, I don't think she was really "pulling back." She just wasn't receptive on that specific day. Perhaps there are reasons why. Maybe our schedules just didn't line up, or maybe there was the stress of the school trip that these occurrences took place in.
Things like texting, pictures, and patterns of hugs and handshakes are not the entire relationship. These things should follow the natural social interaction that is the basis for the connection, not completely replace them. How I've tended to operate this friendship was to ask for pictures/hugs right away. Thank you so much to the people who mentioned that I might have been pressuring her in my previous posts. While I'm a big fan of asking for consent before things such as hugs and pictures, I think starting every single interaction off with asking for something would give off the impression of a transactional relationship that the other person has to invest in, which might make them uncomfortable.
I realized that I've had an urge to try to establish "control" over other people, but it's not out of malicious intent, but instead a fear of loneliness and losing friends because I didn't try hard enough to keep them in my circle. While it may not be out of malicious intent, it can still make people uncomfortable and feel pressured to act in my favor.
The truth is that people have their own free will and have freedom to make their own decisions. It doesn't mean my friends hate me, or are pulling away from me. It's just human nature by default. They might be stressed, or having a bad day, or request a handshake because a hug would take too much time and they're running late to class. Just because someone doesn't want a hug, or a handshake, or picture, or whatever that particular day, doesn't mean they don't want to be friends with me anymore. That's just how they feel. It has helped me to seperate the concept of free will from signs that the friendship is ending. The most I can do is match the other person's level of communication. If they're not being receptive on a particular day, I should back off and lessen my intensity.
I used to think of the concept of giving space as a bad thing. Not in the sense that just the idea of giving space is bad, but I believed that giving space was something only restricted to the worst of the worst friendship situations, as if the friendship had gotten so bad that space is warranted. But now I believe that giving space is not a bad thing at all, and I can give anyone space, even if they're not uncomfortable around me. In fact, perhaps I should give everyone space so people don't actually become uncomfortable. I think it's a perfectly healthy thing to do, and giving someone space doesn't mean the friendship is bad.
Now that I think about it, the concept of a relationship that benefits me and me only is pretty ridiculous, as much as it may seem like the easiest option to pursue. Because this friendship I'm speaking of is not just about me. It has never been solely about me to begin with. It's about her as well. The purpose of a relationship is to benefit both people within the relationship, not just one. I've read somewhere in a Reddit thread that true friends are people who open you up to greater possibilities, and those who restrict your possibilities are not considered close friends. So I really shouldn't try to restrain people's options since that would make me a shitty friend. I should also not be surprised if they talk to other people besides me, since people are allowed to have multiple friends at the same time. In fact, I should do the opposite and open up their options.
I've worried a little bit that this would result in me getting yelled at by "dating gurus" for willingly "giving away" the friendship with the other person, and I would "miss my chance". While this mindset of "try super hard or you will miss your chance" is very oversimplistic and misguided, it's admittedly been really hard to shake off after being ingrained in my head for years.
People will say "Just be confident!" "State your intentions!" "Be direct!" And I will say the following: I don't think this advice is incorrect. I think it's generally helpful in a lot of situations. That advice alone is just too oversimplified in my opinion, and there's a lot more that goes into close relationships than just "being confident" or "being direct." You should also be your best, kind, respectful self, and if it's clear they're not being as receptive, then cut the interaction short. Plus, in my opinion, confidence is more than just having the guts to speak to the girl you like. Confidence is more than just being overly bombastic and boisterious. It's being confident enough to move on if they're not interested, and confident enough to be your best self.
It's been a few months since the last time I posted about this friendship. And despite my fears, it's still going strong, and I believe it will continue that way despite my anxieties. I don't see this friendship as a failure at all. In fact, I see it as one of the most wonderful, successful friendships I have ever formed. I see this entire friendship as a rite of passage - a symbolic transition from an immature and oversimplied understanding of interpersonal relationships, to a more developed and comprehensive understanding of such things.
I used to think that close friends were 100% involved in each other's lives, that the friendship is always constant, their text messages never get left on opened, they hang out every single time, etc. I've always wanted to be like one of those people who had a "best friend" with whom they always hung out and did fun things all the time.
And then I met her.
I initially thought the friendship was following my preconceived "plan" of a close friendship. Then this stuff started happening. My previous beliefs were challenged, and everything I thought I knew was stretched to the very limit. And now my views of close interpersonal relationships have changed.
It's hard to describe in words. There's no definite way I can explain this. But I'll do my best. I realized that even the closest of friends are not 100% involved in each other's lives. They have their own lives and their own friendships outside that particular friendship. What keeps the friendship going is that they respect these lives. They might have different schedules and be around different groups of people. But it doesn't change the closeness of the friendship. And with this particular person I am speaking of, we're both on different schedules and we're both around different groups of people. But it doesn't change the closeness of the connection, and we will still be friends no matter what, plus all of the silly hugs and handshakes (and maybe even occasionally hang out with each other).
I admit I've had a distorted view of the friendship for some time. I still believe it's a truly beautiful development that will continue to live on through the future. But I don't see it as me being the knight in shining armor, protecting the princess that is my friend. I see it as just two travelers whose paths just happened to cross. Because I am not a knight in shining armor, who can get any princess to fall for me. I am just a lone explorer, just going on the journey of life. I have no real authority over anyone else's paths. The only thing I can truly control is the path that I choose to go on. Sometimes our paths diverge, sometimes our paths converge, and that's not a bad thing. That's just the way it goes.
The friendship is not "recovering." And not because it has died and will never be brought back, but because there's nothing really bad enough to "recover" from. It's not that something really bad happened and the friendship is being built back up again, one social interaction at a time. It's just normal social interaction interlaced with human nature.
It's not a friendship that basically "owns" her. It's a close friendship that can coexist along with HER other close friendships. And for HER sake, it should stay that way. It doesn't mean she hates me, or her other friends are overtaking me in some sort of friendship building competition. It just means I'm part of her greater circle of friends, and the friendship with me is just one among the others that she has. I'm not saying this to express pessimism about the friendship; I'm just telling the truth.
The most I can do is to continue to support her on her journey, wherever she goes, and be my best, kind, gentle, nice self. And I don't mean nice as in "nice guy" or pretending to be nice and expecting things in return; I mean being a genuinely nice person, so it would benefit HER instead of just ME.
I truly believe this is a wonderful and beautiful friendship, and I believe it has potential to become an even better friendship than it is currently. It's been one of the most successful friendships I've ever had with another person, and the first time I've developed a close friendship with a woman as a man. It's truly been an honor to even have this friendship in the first place, and I am strongly convinced that it will continue to remain strong in the future.

Hello everybody, thanks for coming in.
As title says, i'm a complete noob to the game and in the last couple days I've been trying all the different classes and the different roles up to level 15/25 of the character, depending on how much they grew on me, in order to get an idea of the choices I have for a main character. For now I quite like the dragonkinght, the sorcerer and the warden, but I still can't make up my mind as to what role suites me best.
I started wanting to be a healer and a tank as a backup choice in case I didnt like the first one, but... Truth is I didn't like either. For what I've experienced till now they're both neglectable and completely useless in dungeons, and only slower in missions since they lack the dps. I plan on joining a friend and playing together, so maybe the dps issue can be overcome, but is it gonna be like this all game? If not, when do healers/tanks start to become actually impactful?
Thanks a lot for every answer :)

My last post made a few people (rightfully) question my knowledge about international schools considering I have only worked in two locations, viz. USA and China. This is a fair point. Additionally, a few people pointed out that “Tier 1” international schools pay the most and have the most resources. This is not entirely untrue but there are some caveats. There are also some misunderstanding on Non profits operations that I would like to clear in my future posts. In essence, just because a school says it’s a Non- Profit, it does not mean it doesn’t want a budget surplus and reduce costs and bring in more efficiency, However, that’s another post.
This information is for the newbies, I am certain experienced teachers already know most of what I am about to discuss. I hope it is of some value to some of the readers. A little background about me. I am American, I went to an exclusive private school in America, went to similar private college, did online masters from a state school, and received a doctorate from an in-person highly selective private university. I have a superintendent’s license from the US. I have worked briefly in a US public school, different kinds of schools in China and have personal/ professional relationships with various private schools in the US in addition to the US Department of State, IBO, State education departments, ISS, different accreditation agencies, the whole gamut of higher level of K-12 education management~ Private, public and Charter. In 10 years or so I want to move back to head an independent school in the US.
Here are some types of schools that most career teachers need to be aware of. These are some legitimate schools that provide well rounded education and prepare students for a 4-year college in the US specifically. I am aware there are many more kinds of schools.
INDEPENDENT (Private) SCHOOLS (USA)
1. The Eight School Association
2. The Ten school Associations
These schools are New England schools pedigreed schools. These are independent (free from government interference), private schools that do not take government money and can choose how and most importantly “who” they teach. Phillips Exeter Academy is perhaps the most famous of these and has an endowment of USD 1.3 billion (keep this number in mind, we will come back to this). These eight schools are ivy league feeder schools. Philip Exeter sends 30% of it’s graduating class to Ivy’s. Rest go to non-ivy’s like U Chicago, Stanford, JHU, Duke, Vanderbilt, MIT etc. These are the Packers, Bears, Giants of college prep.

1. There are other independent, selective, fee-charging schools in every state. You can look them up here. https://www.nais.org/
   
2. Dye(CA), Sidwell Friends (DC), Hawken ( OH), Culver (IN) are not in the “elitest” but are among the best schools in the world. There are hundreds of these top-notch independent schools just in the US.
   
3. These schools have big endowments from donors and alumni. I too contribute a portion of my income to my alma mater.
   
4. You can look up IRS Form 990 to check the finances of these schools.
   
5. Teachers here don’t need teaching licenses. Employment is through Carney Sandoe, Southern Teachers Agency, Resource Group 175 etc. Do not usually prefer teachers with public education background.
   
6. Great salary, students, and benefits.
   
7. Heads make USD 400k to more than 1 million in general. (Not just at the top schools). Teachers make substantial salary and free tuition for their wards.
   
8. The closest comparison of US to UK top private schools would be the Headmasters and Headmistress conference schools https://www.hmc.org.uk/ . Uniquely, Brits associate the quality of the school to the incumbent Head, and if the Head moves to another school, the school will not remain an HMC School. Notice the paucity of international schools.
   

US Military Schools www.dodea.edu (Not discussed here)
US DEPARTMENT OF STATE ASSISTED SCHOOLS
https://www.state.gov/assisted-schools/
Feel free to look at the list. Does this list align with your idea of “Tier 1” schools? These are schools that receive US federal aid assistance through the Office of Overseas Schools to meet budgetary shortfalls.
Let’s focus on SAS:
https://www.state.gov/shanghai-american-school-fact-sheet/
https://resources.finalsite.net/images/v1641867920/shanghaiamerican/a9qtawuyxriujev2nxt0/The_Story_of_2018-19_An_Annual_Report_by_Shanghai_American_School.pdf
SAS has a budget deficit of about 6%. Which is fulfilled by US Department of State Office of Overseas Schools. Your school can also receive federal assistance by filling out this form https://www.state.gov/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/Overseas-Schools-Application-User-Guide.pdf
However, only one assisted school per post is allowed.
These schools function very similarly to a public school district with major government oversight, they can also request grants (https://www.federalgrantswire.com/overseas-schools-program.html#.ZBmzAHbMK3A).
Additionally, these schools have nonprofit tax exempt status, so they do not have to pay taxes on their profits thereby saving 15% (unlikely) to 25% (most likely) tax rate in China. While these schools pay a lot by public school teacher standards, they do not have the budget to attract teachers and principals from truly top tier independent schools in the US.
The un-assisted not for profit schools like Concordia, WAB, YCEF, Dulwich(?), Tanglin Trust on the other hand are presumably in better financial health as they make enough to not depend on Government assistance for operation. Both Non-profit and for-profit establishments without assistance can pay more to the “right candidate” as it does not need to be in compliance with US Federal guidelines.
The international schools usually do not have endowments and are heavily dependent upon enrollment. Where, Kamehameha (HI) and Milton Hershey (PA) schools have endowments in tens of billions, the best international school barely has money to last the next year without enrollment. Let’s compare SAS with Phillips Exeter Academy.
SAS (enrollment 2780) K-12 Non Profit Revenue : USD 89.6 Million Expenditure: USD 93.3 Million Investments : USD 85.5 Million
Philip Exeter Academy (enrollment 1073, grades 9-12) – Non profit Revenue: USD 161 Million Expenditure: USD 131.5 Million Endowment: USD 1300 Million ( at 3% withdrawal rate it’s about USD 39 Million income/year from the endowment in perpetuity)
The Head of school of SAS must manage a USD 3.7 million budget deficit (growing every year) without increasing tuition substantially, reducing wages and benefits while the Head of Phillip Exeter must ensure that they can fund raise from alumni to ensure the future of the school and allocate profits towards staff rewards and capital investments.
Different schools, different challenges, different pay structures. While we get a lot of public-school teachers in the international market. High quality independent school teachers and administrators are very rare and unassisted international schools will pay top dollar for them that assisted schools simply can’t. So, if you are a public-school teacher and are attracted to the list of schools from the US department of state. It is a fantastic deal, just remember that the budgets are tight so staff reductions are among the easiest ways the schools can correct budget shortfalls. In essence, you’ll be working a lot, also there may also be limits on non-revenue generating students. Conversely, the unassisted not for profits or for profit schools may not pay you as much as you think you deserve as they would rather pay the high salary to someone with US elite private school or ivy league experience, these high earners will usually be recruited in a non- classroom role in strategic planning, curriculum development, UGC, CCR etc .So you will probably not meet them as much. In some cases, they will work as an international consultant (WFH job). This is a great deal as the school gets to use your knowledge and doesn’t need to pay for benefits.
Most educational institutions around the world work on generally accepted practices when it comes to pedagogy. Some schools do some things differently but are trying to achieve the same goals. Financial management usually follows GAAP. There are quirks but it’s usually the operator and not the machine. Certainly, the country’s laws are supreme, everything I say here is subordinate to that.
Look for the right fit, be good at your job, acquire additional competencies, articulate them. Good Luck!

The Foundations of Humanity 8 (Cultivation) - an NoP fanfic
​
Thank you u/SpacePaladin15 for establishing the Nature of Predators Universe, and for allowing Fanfics to flourish!
Warning. This is disgustingly cute and very intimate with lots of touching. You have been warned.
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Memory transcription subject: Valek, Venlil-Human Partnership Program Participant
Date [standardized human time]: August 25th, 2136. Early morning
I knew the heat beside me before I finished dreaming, and I knew the arms around me before my eyes opened. Maeve was huddled against me, nuzzled into my collar wool as she dozed. I dared not move, as I knew she had another hour or more before a full rest.
While planning my extraction, I felt her pull harder and take a deep breath, before opening her eyes.
"Good morning, handsome,"
"Good waking, little leafy green." Maeve pushed her face further into my mane at that. "I know you have a longer sleep than we do, please don't wake up on my account."
"It's ok, I'm doing this as much for me as for you," she whispered, as she pressed her lips to my shoulder.
Maeve pulled herself from me and stretched the length of the bed with a loud groan, before settling back against me on her side, and looked at me with a smile, "I'll be honest you are very comfortable, I could see this becoming a habit."
It was only then I noticed, to my horror, my tail had found its way between us. I hoped she didn't catch on to the implications of my tail curled around her foreleg, but my shaking reply left no questions. "I think I could be convinced."
We giggled to each other, while she reached over and started to idly scratch through the tuft on my chest, to my immense satisfaction. I could only see half of her face around the pillow, but the look from that gleaming green eye was the closest thing to 'predatory' I've ever seen from Maeve.
"Well!" Maeve said with a start, lifting her hand from me, "as lovely as this is, it's time to get up, and I wouldn't mind a snack. Do you still want to try the rec room for art supplies?"
"Oh that would be wonderful! My parents couldn't afford art classes, so I only had public events to really try it."
"You didn't have art in school?"
"Well no, we couldn't afford it, that's what I said."
"Sorry, that's not what I mean," Maeve clarified, muffled through her changing of clothes, "Ok, first off, do the Venlil have a concept of public schooling? Education of subjects deemed necessary, paid for by the state, and free to the parents?."
"Of course we do! You can't have modern civilization without everyone knowing the basics of things like math and science."
"Well for humans, several of those subjects are art."
My ears snapped forward, utterly surprised, "Really?? Why??" I asked as we left the room.
"I'll admit, it is relatively recent; for most of human history, several hundred thousand years at least, artistic expression was something that humans just did, without any assistance or education. There were earlier instances of art being treated like a trade, apprentice learning from journeymen, but I think the earliest examples of formal artistic education were in pre-Christian Rome, so that would be… 3, maybe 4 thousand years ago? At that time and for a long time after, artistic education was only taught to the elite. Not because of pay or profit, but because the wealthy and powerful were cultural leaders and needed to be taught as much about culture as possible, including art."
"The concept of public education has come and gone several times in human history, but our current era started I think in the 1500's, almost 700 years ago, and even then artistic expression only became part of it around 300 years ago, or less. There were a lot of reasons why they included it: social reasons, political reasons, scientific… but it wasn't until after the Satellite Wars that such practices became ubiquitous. So now, almost every living human will have had at least one or two years of formal training in the arts by adulthood, to familiarize them with the concept of expression and creation."
"That's incredible!" I exclaimed as we entered the Mess Hall, to the shock of several Venlil and a few humans nearby, "I mean, Maeve! Your people's warlike history is well documented; why, by the sun and stars, would artistic education be compulsory for a species at war?"
"Like I said, there's a lot of reasons" gathering our food, we found empty seats by the window, "In fact, one of those reasons is precisely to prevent war." My mouth hung agape as I nearly dropped my tray; settling in, Maeve now had my full attention.
"You remember what I said about humans feeling too much?" I did, and the reminder of last waking's events did not help my nerves, but I nodded and Maeve continued all the same between sips of what I now know was coffee, "Humans appear to have incredible impulse, or as the Venlil call it 'instinct', control because we have had to learn and develop effective ways to control it. One of the most effective of which is Expression; to put that emotion out of your body and into the world in some way."
Having finished our meal, we started toward the rec room, "True, this can manifest in… unkind ways such as posturing, fighting, or just yelling, but it can also be expressed in others such as running, talking with someone who listens, and, of course, artistic works."
"So we started to teach our children how to express their imagination and emotions in non-violent ways such as the Arts. Not everyone continues practicing, and very few find professional success, but every human knows enough to understand and participate." The door to the Rec Room slid open in front of us, "Here we are, Valek. You said you checked this out on the first day, so how about you give me the tour?"
It was a large room, about the same as the bathing room including the drying corridor. The walls were lined with full bookshelves, colored boxes, and several large viewing screens with comfortable seating. Several tables made up the interior, some with what appeared to be a Pad-mount attached to a keyboard; some designed for humans, some for Venlil. I saw several pairs already engaged in activities; a mixed group of six were seated and watching what appeared to be a world of cubes, and several pairs appeared to be using their pads together, though I couldn't tell what they were doing.
“I didn't have anyone to show me around last time, so I’m not sure what some of this is. Social media is pretty big on Venlil Prime, so I think these are to communicate with the herd," I said, motioning to the Pad-mounts. “It looks like Humans are as fond of reading as we are, judging by the bookshelves. But I’m not sure what that is,” motioning to the large displays, “I think they're watching a movie? I’ve never seen one like that, though.”
“Oh! They’re playing Minecraft. Interactive media, such as video games, are really big with humans. The one they’re playing is a little more than a hundred years old now, but it never lost its appeal.”
“You said it's interactive? How?”
“Oh you just use the controller to… wait… um…” She seemed to be trying to find out how to begin, “So you told me the Venlil have, like, shows and stuff right? Well, just like those shows take place in a False World where the actions of the actors influence change upon it, video games also take place in a false world. The difference is; your actions in the Real World are interpreted as actions in the False World; it’s like you, the player, are the actor in these shows.”
“That’s so cool! I’ll have to try that sometime.”
Maeve and I explored the room further, I was especially interested in their library; what kinds of stories would I see here? About to pull a large anthology book with what appeared to be a large human holding a lightning bolt, I heard Maeve call from the other corner.
“I think I found the art supplies! So when you did your community art, were you a paint guy or a chalk guy?”
“Oh, chalk please! Most of our public works are temporary, so using something that washes with the rain is very useful.” Their artistic education is complex enough to teach different mediums? Such classes are prohibitively expensive to have, and every human learns this??
“Well I don’t see chalk, but that tells me you prefer a dry medium, so let's try pencil and markers.” Maeve said as she pulled out sheets of paper and two buckets of what I assumed were the art supplies.
We spent the next entire claw working together, drawing what fit our fancy. Maeve told me about the forests of earth, and how her family used to go camping. She explained it was like leaving home, to make a new home, in a place where a home has no right to be. I was still wrapping my head around that when she told me about the clear skies, and how her family would stay up late to see the stars, and share ancient stories about their shapes.
We were silent for a moment while we worked, when I heard Maeve speak from beside me, “Are those your woods from back home?” she asked about my drawing, “It's so colorful! Are these broad colors typical of Venlil styles?”
To the human eye, my work appeared as large swathes of color, with vague shapes representing direction and shape, rather than form. Emotion mixed with reality to create something that gave an impression of overall calm and nostalgia over the representational work.
“I do often see something similar in the parks when others are being creative. I have seen some Venlil try a style that is more detailed, but I like to show what I feel rather than what I see.” I explained, while making another long streak of golden sunbeam.
Maeve asked about my home, and I told her how we lived in a traditional burrow-style house; not an actual burrow, it was above-ground, but it made use of smooth lines and soft corners to lend structural support, spreading more out than up. We still had a 2nd floor, which was where most of our living and sleeping space was, but it looked like barely a mound against the modern stem-style houses, which was what used to be my university apartment. I was just talking about the kitchen on the ground floor when I looked over at what Maeve was working on. To my surprise, she was making an incredibly life-like imagining of our kitchen. It wasn't perfect, our dishes never stacked that high, but this could absolutely be someone else’s kitchen.
“How did you draw that?” I asked, unbelieving.
Maeve giggled as I stared, and answered lightly, “I did a lot of things back home, either as work or hobby, and one of them was room concepts and architectural design. I followed your descriptions as best as I could, with some artistic flavor. Some older human cultures also had burrow homes, so I took ideas from that. What do you think?”
“It’s incredible! This could absolutely be someone's kitchen, though it isn't ours. You even have the berry field in the window!” I was so enthralled by the detail I was seeing, I didn’t notice Maeve’s hand reaching for the work. She pointed to two figures in frame: a Venlil with what was clearly my salt-and-pepper pattern and…
“I’ve given it some thought,” Maeve whispered beside me, “and I think, yes. I would like to keep doing this.”
My heart leapt with joy and and my tail thrashed behind me; if any attempt at subtlety was made I clearly ruined the secret. Maeve smiled broadly, hiding her teeth in a vain attempt to hide her quickly reddening cheeks. We quickly packed up our projects, and I saw Maeve making to throw them away! “What are you doing?”
“Oh, I was…” She paused, not truly having an answer. I walked over and gently, wordlessly, took the sketches from her hand, and filled the space with my own paw. The message received, we exited to the corridor. "You mentioned something about camping, what is that?"
Maeve paused in thought without breaking stride, then asked, "You mentioned your favorite place was taking the road between The Grove and University. If you had the chance to live there, for a few days or a week, would you?"
I thought about this. It's a beautiful place, and I would find great joy in staying there for a time. But I remembered the look of that predator, "No. I know, in my head, that the predators in that forest would leave us alone; I'm certain it would be fine. But no, I don't think I'm brave enough for it."
"It's ok, and I won't ask you to. But Humans would, though that doesn't say much for our judgment." she added with a chuckle, "Most humans live in cities. Massive places of steel and concrete with more people than plants. Just like cities on Venlil Prime, they are comfortable, safe, and good places to live; but humans are drawn instinctively to the natural world. Despite our industry, we have to see the Earth and its bounty, or we get out of sorts."
We had reached the room and, picking up on human mannerisms, I invited Maeve to enter first. "Thank you, my good sir." She said through a giggle, "anyway, because of this many humans will leave the city to live in nature for a while. We have a lot of ways to make it more or less comfortable, and the varied ecosphere on earth combined with our diurnal cycle means we have to be very prepared. Personally I prefer a tent, rain cover, and camp stove; but some people take as much as a rolling house, or as little as a sleeping bag."
Maeve sat down on a chair, and I on the bed as we continued talking, "do you hunt when you do this?" I asked.
Carefully, Maeve spoke in measured words, "Not always, and myself never; the vast majority of people bring food with them to eat as-is or cook on site. But yes, some humans do still hunt, kill, consume, and use the dead of wild creatures. But I'd like to point out it has been regulated in most countries for a few centuries now, and even more so in the last few decades. These days, only a couple thousand animals are killed annually due to hunting practices, worldwide. And, as we continue to become more prosperous, cede more of earth to nature, and find alternatives to killing, that number will continue dropping to almost nothing." she said, matter-of-factly.
"But why do you still hunt at all? If you can eat plants, have domesticated livestock, and can now print synthetic meat, why is that number not zero?"
"it is a part of our history, and our culture; such things are very difficult to unlearn. Also, we humans have assumed the responsibility to maintain the ecologies of our world. This is done in large part as penance for the damage we did during our colonial and industrial ages, but that sense of guardianship still carries on. Answering that question is pretty complicated, and I won't dance around the fact that controlled murder is a big part of it, do you want me to keep going?"
I will never be totally ready for frank discussions of murder, but I felt this was nothing compared to what we've already done. With a deep breath, I steeled myself and flicked an affirmation.
"Ok, this is a phenomenon we have seen nearly everywhere on Earth, but we are going to talk about Yellowstone National Park, specifically. Yellowstone is a large evergreen forest that is host to a huge variety of wildlife, but early in America's history, the colonists eradicated the local Wolf population. True we had domesticated wolves earlier, but not here, and these wolves were more harmful than helpful to the colonists, so they killed them. What followed was a process called a Trophic Cascade."
"Wolves were a natural predator of Deer, so without wolves to control their numbers, the deer population exploded. The deer over-grazed on many things, most especially tree saplings. Without saplings reaching maturity, the forest couldn't create new growth, and this reduced usable living space for many small herbivores; so things like squirrels and beavers left the area. Without these small herbivores, small carnivores like the fox left as well, which made very small omnivores, like mice, also explode in population. These mice over-hunted grubs, beetles, and other detritus-eaters, so the forest floor stopped getting new nutrients, which made all plants, including trees, even sicker. With trees dying faster and still not able to make new growth, because the deer were still a problem remember, their root systems became weaker, which could no longer hold the soil. This exacerbated the effects of erosion, causing landslides to be more frequent, and even changing the course of rivers, leading to droughts in places that have never seen it"
"All of this because: we killed the Wolf. There were many examples, this is just the one I know best, but humans are well familiar with the effect of adding or removing a species from local ecology."
I sat for a long moment, letting this sink in. "You changed the shape of mountains, and the path of rivers… by killing wolves?
"Yeah!" She confirmed, with just as much surprise as I had. "We tried a few things to help heal the damage: manually planting more trees, shoring up at risk earth, even controlled culls of wildlife; this is where most of our modern hunting practices came from. But no matter what humans did, we just couldn't keep up with the forces of nature. So, Occam's Razor, we decided to try the obvious option: put the wolves back into the forest, using the natives' local cousins from further north. And you know what?" I flicked my tail expectantly, both ears swiveled on Maeve, "It worked! The wolves hunted the deer to manageable numbers, the trees had a chance to grow, the small herbivores came back… a complete reversal of all the damage I mentioned. So now, the only species that have an overall open-season are invasive species, like the European Rabbit in Australia. Among humans, it is both illegal, and socially taboo, to kill wild animals without specific cause."
This was… a lot. All of this made sense on its own, it logically followed, but I couldn't wrap my head around how everything could be so connected. Predators kill! That's all they do! How could killing be a good thing? Finding my voice, I spoke up, "I won't pretend to know what this means. I cannot get it through that everything is so dependent on murder. But I know you've told me the truth as best as you know it, so I'll leave it alone. Can we talk about something else? You mentioned something about stories in the stars?"
"Oh absolutely!" Maeve seemed to glow with this topic, I loved seeing her so excited, "so humans have a day/night cycle, but some of us would have to keep watch during the night while others slept; so we learned to entertain ourselves by telling stories. At night, and before industrialization, our skies were brimming with stars! So we would see shapes in their patterns, and tell great stories about who they represented. There have been stories since before writing, so sadly most have been lost to history, but one story, Orion, is about-"
A ping from my pad, and then hers, interrupted the lesson.
Please report to the Partnership Program lead office promptly. Suite 4006 on deck 4.
We shared a worried look, sharing an understanding of what prompted the summons. We would face it, together. We left the room and made our way to the elevator, mostly in silence. Sensing my worry, Maeve touched my shoulder, "It's ok, this will work out." I'm not sure I believed her. We stood apart in the elevator, and the distance felt cold. Walking down the hall of offices I felt more fear and anxiety than the past week, but I had to keep moving forward.
We reached the door, and as I reached for the handle, Maeve stopped me, and gently pulled me by the shoulder against her in a desperate embrace, as one would say goodbye. She whispered into my ear,
"Whatever happens in there, I want you to know I love you, Valek."
"I love you too, Maeve."
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Hello. This is a throwaway, but I'm a 20F college student who struggles to stop flaking on/ghosting people, and am wondering if anyone has tips to not flake on things?
It's been ruining every facet of my life-- friendships, academics, employment, etc.. Plus I end up screwing other people over in the process or telling lies about why I couldn't come to things. Luckily my college loans aren't cosigned and I put all the cash toward it, otherwise I'd be wasting my parents money too with how bad I'm doing in my classes.
I don't know why I flake. I can be showered and dressed ready to go, I'll be up on time, one time I even drove to the location I was meant to go. And then I just can't bring myself to do it. My nerves get the best of me. Sometimes I'll make up tons of "logic" to justify it, things like "It's not that important," "I can make it up later," or "I can't go out there like this." But sometimes I'll just zone out until the time has passed, then do nothing the rest of the day.
I don't think I have a disorder or anything like that-- I don't get panic attacks and I don't feel I'm depressed-- and I also don't think I have ADHD. I think it's just a really bad coping mechanism. It might be one of those moral or emotional maturity things, like I should've grown out of hiding from all my potential problems. I tried a couple therapy sessions but quit kind of early.
I hate that I run away from everything. It's a very trashy thing to do. And the consequences keep piling higher and higher; it's so bad, I even flaked on jury duty. Which is super illegal. And stupid. And I cried pretty hard over it. So if anyone has tips I would greatly appreciate it.

Would someone please explain the vanguard class, the best ways to utilize it aswell as the best perks to use.

I have been teaching for 10 years, and I taught at my last school for 7 of those years. This is my first year at my new school. I left my old school simply due to pay and and advancement, but I love my old school. The students and I had an amazing relationship, still ask about me to current teachers, etc. This is not specific to me; the student population just loves their teachers and most of the teacher population left last year due to reasons similar to my own. My old school is going through an upheaval (probably closing soon) and cannot attain faculty.
In late April my current school is having a school-sponsored day in which about 75% of the student body will be gone. This is a reward day in which students who sold tickets for a fundraiser are not required to go to school (it is dumb, I know). No teachers plan on having real class, most students who are ineligible will be called in sick, and the school will be mostly empty.
Meanwhile, my old school is hosting an annual event of their own. For many years, they have had a "teacher talent show." It is so much fun. I am a pretty decent musician (which many students do not know) and thus I have always gone last; the dean of students thought it was the "best" act.
My old school approached me and asked if I could be in the talent show again this year - one final time. They never plan on hosting this event again, and the admin is also leaving after this year. They even said they would do it around my schedule. I was super honored. I said that the day in late April might work.
Here is the question: how unprofessional is it to take the afternoon off at my new school so I can, one final time, do this really cool thing at my old school? A part of me wants to be honest with my admin and just tell them the flat out truth: this is something I really want to do and the school is basically going to be shut down that day anyway. However, I don't want them to view me as super involved with my last place of employment. My school does NOT have a sick policy and I took off one sick day in the Fall and 3 sick days this Spring (because I had COVID).
Thoughts?

From a quick glance at the top 250 players in ranked mw2, there are dozens of WZ content creators, with the current #1 player being a mostly wz streamer https://www.wzranked.com/mw2/leaderboards/top250
So how are these people still playing well against some of the best players in the world and CDL players? According to this subreddit weren't these guys frauds just farming bots in whitelisted/vpn lobbies?

I thought of this fun game where I'll start with a paragraph to start the story of and everyone who comments can have their paragraph somewhere in the order that fits the most and we'll see what kinda story we get lol. It will probably be best to make it not too complex and maybe even cliche but still just have fun creating a story with all of us. Just a fun activity for the lolz. With that said. Allow me to set the stage if you will. The number will go from 1 to however many numbers we need to finish our story lol. We will try to have it make some sense of course let's not make a crack fic here if not needed.

1: Naruto was in the academy, today was graduation day and he had just beat Mizuki in order to get his ninja headband. Iruka was standing in front of the class and began announcing the teams. "Team 7 will be-"
2: Naruto, Sakura, and Sans" Sakura whined over not being placed together with Sasuke, while Naruto cheered for being placed in the same team as her, Sans... was there, with his unmoving smile, blue hoodie and pale skin similar to Orochimaru's...

For anyone who successfully upgraded their business class ticket to first class at the airport - what time did you get there? Thinking I could target 6-7pm for a 10pm flight? Too late? I can theoretically get there at anytime.
(Also - well aware it's a "short" flight and probably not the best use of miles - my reasoning: getting first on the return is not guaranteed, showers on a plane are cool, we have a ton of points, and it's our 5th year anniversary :) )

I have anxiety myself, and I don’t mean to be a hypocrite, but I just can’t bring myself to feel sympathy towards her. I don’t know if it makes me a bad person to feel this way towards my best friend. When she and I first met, there was this girl from my old middle school who was harassing me. At one point, this bully was just attacking me. She was calling me worthless, and that no one like me. My BFF was right next to me, and didn’t say a word. She even told me later that she could tell I was about to cry, but she still didn’t say anything. Later on that night, the bully started harassing me with these text messages. Those texts are permanently scarred in my mind. I have to admit, a part of me believes that maybe if my BFF stood up for me earlier, maybe I never would’ve gotten those texts.
My BFF struggled with anxiety like me. But whereas I struggle with social anxiety (meeting new people, eye contact, etc.), she has anxiety with tests. One time for an honors class, our teacher told us we were having a pop quiz, and she’d give us five minutes to talk amongst each other and study. Literally everyone is stressing, but she’s the only one crying. Everyone was patting her on the back comforting her like “don’t worry you’ve got this” and “you’re going to do fine, you’re so smart”. I never would comfort her during these times. It annoys me that we were all stressing out, but she made the situation all about her. I didn’t want to, because I remember that one time I needed help, but she didn’t step in.

Yo, how are you guys doing today? Im looking for some chill adults to casually game with. Nothing against the younger crowd, just feels odd to hear about math homework not making sense and why schools should have classes on how to be a successful influencer while waiting in a cod lobby (I wish I was making that up). Anywho, Im currently playing MW2, Elden Ring, Wild Hearts, BL3, Returnal, and a handful of other games. totally willing to try some other stuff, not big on BR games but not against trying them out. Just let me know. DM me or leave a comment or whatever. Thanks for your time, see ya on the battlefield...or not lol