Cooking trainer dragon isles

I'm thinking Cosmog might be a bit too strong for the early routes, though.

2023.03.21 17:13 CalmShinyZubat I'm thinking Cosmog might be a bit too strong for the early routes, though.

submitted by CalmShinyZubat to TeamSky [link] [comments]

2023.03.21 16:39 BeWasted [REQUEST] [STEAM] Like a Dragon: Ishin! (59.99€) 7th attempt

Hello and good evening GoG!
I'm a soon-to-be university graduate (I'm supposed to start working on my thesis soon, though I first need to cover the costs so I've not yet started) from Bosnia & Herzegovina, situated in the western part of the Balkan Peninsula. It's a small country with low economic standards and as such is a very difficult country to afford luxuries by European standards. Nobody offers part-time work here and any money I make with a bit of freelancing and such goes into my university schooling as it is my ultimate goal to finish school and start working in IT somewhere abroad in order to have a more stable life. I'm content with what I have and although I cannot afford some luxuries, I'm thankful for what I have and even moreso for some of my friends who have enabled me to enjoy said luxuries, which is why I hope that in time I'll be able to give back to the community and friends. With the short background story out of the way, let's get into the main topic of this post! I'm sorry in advance that it's a little bit broad.
How did I get into the Yakuza series?
I'd lived through the majority of my life unaware of the Yakuza series until a couple of years ago when Yakuza: Like a Dragon (the "seventh" installment of the main series) was featured on a speedrunning marathon event called AGDQ (Awesome Games Done Quick). Seeing it back then, I couldn't help but immediately fall in love with the series and I hated myself for dismissing it back in the day at any point I'd stumble across it, thinking that it was just another average GTA-inspired game. After that sighting, I tried my best to not watch many videos, follow through news articles, playthroughs and such of the series as I wanted to keep myself spoiler-free for when the eventual time comes when I'm able to play through the games myself. I followed Steam's store page for years waiting for an affordable sale on the Yakuza game collections so that I could get them. Finally, last year when I returned from studying abroad I had some money to spare and as soon as the first big sale for the Yakuza series hit, I went and bought the first collection and Yakuza 6 (The Song of Life), as a friend of mine said that he'd gift me the remastered collection. I was ecstatic and I couldn't believe that the time finally came where I was about to own all of the main series installements save for the most expensive one, (the 7th installment, 8th overall) Yakuza: Like a Dragon. Courtesy of my cousin, I'd also gotten the final game and therefore completed the collection. Yes, there are Judgment and Lost Judgment which are also Yakuza games, but they're spin-off titles (which are also very good based on reviews), and are not a priority for me in comparison to LaD: Ishin. I've waited for a long time for these, so waiting is not a problem for me. ^ ^
Playing Yakuza:
I've been playing the Yakuza games with a friend who helps me with my 100% runs, who is also a big fan of the series which is why I haven't rushed through all of the games already (on top of the fact that I want to savour the games and enjoy them rather than finish them as soon as possible, so I add some other stuff to the mix in the meanwhile). They are the large majority of my active library, I could maybe count titles from outside this series with the fingers on one hand, as I majorly focus and enjoy this series, considering it's such a comfort pick. I have however played some other games more recently as I don't like to disregard and not savour any gifts I receive. For example, I've been playing and have completed Ghostrunner (save the DLC) 100%, courtesy of a fellow GoGer here (thank you very much again Kittenmancer). To date, I have completed Yakuza 0, Yakuza Kiwami and Yakuza Kiwami 2 on 100% (both Steam achievements and in-game completion lists as can be seen on my Steam profile) and am currently playing through Yakuza 3 and am about halfway through when looking at the completion list, although if I "played" it solely, I'd probably be on Yakuza 4 within a couple of days at best, which is not my intention, but to rather savour and enjoy every aspect of the game since I love this series so dearly and honestly, once I finish everything, I will probably pick it back up from the beginning because I find the games to be THAT good; not that I don't currently still boot up the previous games even during sequels. It might seem a tad bit questionable that I'm requesting a distant game in the series when I'm not even through the ones I own yet. There are actually two reasons that I can add to (hopefully) discern the idea behind it; namely one of the reasons is because this game is technically standalone and I'd be able to pick it up immediately (which I am very much looking forward to). The other reason that I'm writing this request now is that, well honestly, considering the game is so expensive which I'm very well aware of, I don't expect to get it for a long time. I'm aware that I will most likely have to attempt this request a dozen times if not more in order to even have a chance of this post gaining traction, which is why I'm taking the time to write such a heartfelt post that portrays my passion and ecstasy towards the series. I don't mind if I have to wait and repost for months as I'd waited for the rest of the games for literal years, even if albeit a reminder that I will some day have it.
Why Like a Dragon: Ishin in particular?
Well, it's like I mentioned, Ishin has had my gaze fixed on it for months, even though it's a spin-off prequel (time period-wise), because it looks to offer a lot more than the aforementioned games. Just looking at some of the announcements on Sega's Youtube channel is enough to generate hype. I've been following the updates, reveals and such since it was announced for Steam and can't wait for the chance to play it!
Like a Dragon: Ishin (from my recollection):
Its time period is set in the 1860s (as opposed to Yakuza 0, the canonically first game in the main storyline which occurs in the late 1980s). This gives the creators the possibility to re-introduce some of the most noteworthy and liked characters from the main series as their "past" or "alternate" selves in a manner of speech. You play as a character called Sakamoto Ryoma (alternate version of Kazuma Kiryu), a swordsman and gunman who is on a quest to right the wrongs and clear his name. It features multiple amazing fighting styles paired with great combos and means to make the combat more engaging, such as trooper cards, heat actions and similar. The combat and visuals (aside from the amazing writing of the main story and the even more amazing Sub-story writing) are phenomenal throughout the series and LaD: Ishin certainly doesn't fall even remotely short of the status quo based on what I've seen. It's like I said, the moment I saw what the Yakuza (now Like a Dragon) series was about and what it has to offer, I was hooked and from there on, any time I've been inquired about my favourite game series, I've always listed this series as my indubitable favourite and I honestly don't think that that will change. Without spoiling too much of the story of LaD: Ishin, it features a somewhat similar take on the story from Yakuza 0 where the protagonist (Kiryu/Ryoma) is framed for murder and has to find means to clear his name. Apart from the story, combat and delightful and comedy-riddled sub-stories, the Yakuza series is known for having a lot of mini-games, collectibles and other side-content within their titles and LaD: Ishin is no different. It has a lot of side-content which includes (but is not limited to) dancing, Japanese games such as mahjong (on which I spent probably over 20+ hours playing and learning it since I love it), cho-han, koi-koi (my favourite) and oicho-kabu, fishing, karaoke, cooking, drinking and even chicken racing! Some of these are recurring, whereas others are appearing for the first time which I am anxiously anticipating in experiencing.
Thanks to everyone in GoG and for what you do, you guys are amazing! Thank you very much once again for lending me your time reading this and I sincerely hope that you have a lovely evening ahead of you!
Steam Store Page:
Steam Community Profile:
submitted by BeWasted to GiftofGames [link] [comments]

2023.03.21 15:43 UnitedDifference1944 Possible toxic situation

Hey, first post here but second post ever on this website. My partner and I are experiencing what I think is potentially a toxic situation and potentially a dangerous one physically as well. About a year ago my partner and I, who were dating long distance decided to make the jump and move in with each other. My partners former lease was up in September of the year we moved in together and I moved in May from the United States to Canada to live with him. This was such a big move for me and for him but we also had a mutual friend (since we all game together and this is how we met) who was in need of a change and we all decided to go in on a place together. Big crazy plan but my partner and this roommate have also been friends since they were eight. Our hope was that after spending two years together gaming and talking everyday that we knew enough about each other and we’re close enough friends to make it work. On September 1 of 2022 my partner, his child hood best friend and myself moved into this apartment together and at first the red flags weren’t really red flags with this guy. He seemed a little absent minded and would do things like leave the oven on or the balcony door open (we’re on the fifth floor and have two cats) as well as leave a mess after making food, not cleaning up his dishes after eating, always ordering out, never remembering to pay anyone for something they purchased(We often have one person pay for dinner and everyone e-transfers that person) this guy never sends the money. None of these things plus more to come seemed like anything to worry about because this guy drove a crossed Canada from London, Ontario to Victoria, British Columbia. He also had his parents going through a divorce at the time of his move, which was a big reason he decided to come here. I wrote off all of these behaviours as someone just being overwhelmed from moving a big distance and having such a life altering experience. A little bit more background on this guy is that he does have some mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, and ADHD. I have my own mess of Bipolar II etc and my partner has his own anxiety and depress he struggles with. We’re very aware of how much your mental health can affect your day and actions and I think pretty empathetic towards someone having a bad or off day.
With all of those red flags being ignored were now into March and nothing has changed. In fact gotten worse given his constant resistance to being asked to clean up after himself. I understand there is a level of discomfort there when someone asks you to clean up after yourself and this dude gives such bad energy and so many awful vibes and becomes unpleasant, quiet and moody shifting the entire energy of the apartment. After being up all night and eating/making food it will be everywhere. If he makes ramen his package is in one counter, the powder and sauce another (left with sauce and powder everywhere), his dish he used sometimes has the utensil with it but sometimes the bowl is in one area and the utensil another. If he orders out his dinner / containers will be left all over the couch/living room area along with any clothes he discarded. Mostly socks, tuks and jackets. I will voluntarily move these things and place them in front of his door on on his computer chair or in a space near his things so that I can finish cleaning. I don't roughly throw them or treat his things poorly I just place them somewhere new.
The cleaning is a huge thing for me personally. I enjoy things to be much more tidy than usual and I’m aware and willing to put in the extra effort. I can’t keep up with this guy. I’ll spend hours cleaning surfaces, dusting, reorganizing, floors, garbage, recycle, dishes… you get the point. If I’m done cleaning at 3PM and I go do something’s and homie is left with the apartment to himself by the time morning comes it will look like I did nothing. Food stains some how I kid you not, everywhere. Crumbs, dirty dishes, half empty Gatorade bottles strewn wherever, alcoholic beverages thrown wherever, food containers thrown wherever. I also wrote it off because I do like things to always be tidy and thought I was being a bit OCD about the whole thing and I understand that not everyone is like that. I've been keeping this in mind lately and giving them a chance to come back to their mess and clean it up, but it will sit there for days. Literal days. It’s so disheartening to spend hours on our apartment and have this guy just tornado through with zero intention of ever doing a chore.
He has never swept or mopped or vacuumed. Never dusted or done the dishes. If he takes out the garbage he never replaces the bag and the few times he’s attempted the dishes he opens the dishwasher and then sits on the couch to watch TV and puts aWay maybe four dishes. I’ll walk by a few times over the next few hours and he just sits there staring at the Tv or texting on his phone and he seems catatonic while doing this. He will also do these things while operating the stove and oven. I only bring this up because he will be completely zoned into his phone for an hour while boiling water he wants for mac and cheese. He'll be standing next to the stove with the steam going crazy and it will be at least 10 minutes before he'll move to do anything even after my partner and I say something to him. And it's so hard to say something because you're watching a literal human stand next to a stove with water boiling and steam going(We have sensitive fire alarms that he has set off multiple times from heating pizza in the oven without a tray and having toppings and cheese drip to cause smoke.) It's crazy to me that after the first time the fire alarm was set off like this he did not think to clean the oven before doing it the next time. He is the only one in the apartment who uses the oven really since a lot of the food my partner and I cook can be done on the stove-top. So when we ask who left the oven on (we know it's him) but he will flat out deny ever having used the oven or say he did shut it off. He also seems angry that we keep reminding him that the stove or oven is on. I guess I can see that it can be annoying or you could feel like a child but.... hello?
This morning my partner and I got up with the oven still being on and plates all over the couch from roommate reheating some pizza. We literally ask him and have conversations about turning the oven off everytime it gets left on. It's probably a conversation that we have once or twice a week. This is a huge trigger because we are in the mindset of saving as much as we can because we want a house together and we split all the bills three ways. It's really unfair that our electricity bill in an apartment reaches over $300 for a month because we live with someone who does not shut off the TV. Does not shut off his Computer. Leaves the oven on all night multiple nights. He even turns our heating unit on to 80+ and will leave it on all night long. My boyfriend and I go to bed at 9PM ish and I won't even realize the heat is on until probably 11 or 12 the next day on my lunch break. I put something in his room once while I was cleaning and happened to glance at his floor heater thermostat which was turned all the way up and probably has been since winter here in Victoria has started. My partner will tell me how much the electricity bill is every month and it blows my mind. FOR REAL. LIKE HOW
We are all gamers and Dragon flight just released a bit ago. This was a huge turning point for me. I had just started a new job as well and did not have as much time to clean things or to lay the new expansion. I would say we’re decent gamers in that content gets released and we’ll clear heroic plus do high keys in M+ but we also enjoy other games. My partner is an elevator mechanic and works long days too so the two of us just could not dedicate as much time to gaming as our roommate could. This lead to him and my partners identical twin brother being relentlessly mean and toxic over the two of us making mistakes during content. Making mistakes in this context being missing a mechanic that caused our death in a fight during raid and M+. What I mean by being relentlessly mean is that when a death occurs you hear only the sound of screams. Someone saying "Come on guys what the fuck. WHAT THE FUCk. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU. WERE TRYING TO CLEAR CONTENT YOU CAN'T JUST MAKE A MISTAKE." I'm really not kidding here. As well as being spoken down to and so much of it was passive aggressive. Just also insinuating that my partner and I are complete retards (excuse my use of this word but really that's how they were framing it) because we can't play for that long and while we did watch videos on the fights both for dungeons and raid it's different when you're playing. Especially for me since I heal. It's one thing to know the mechanics and another to figure out where best to use things. THis requires pulls and pulls and errors and corrections. I've been a raider for awhile and progression is sort of the point. You review the fight you do a few pulls you figure out the error you fix that another one comes up and you're on repeat. These two made it such an unenjoyable experience! The worst part is we could understand why they were frustrated. They had more time to play and pugged the raid a few times before we ever did it together as a group. I guess they expected the same of my partner and I, but the reason we had not done content together is well.. we had to work and when we aren't working we're cleaning and World of Warcraft is a huge time commitment. We just did not have the same amount of time but for whatever reason we're being held to the same standards.
My partner and I basically stopped playing with the two of them. I would make myself completely busy inside the apartment on our roommates day off or I would play another game entirely until my partner got home and then we we do some content together but it only lasted maybe an hour before things just go bad for no reason. This was one day we were doing a +19 CoS, arguably one of the easier dungeons to time on high keys but it was my first 19 and my partners first 19. Like his first ever because he only got into doing keys because of me. It's a form of content I really enjoy especially as a healer. We're doing this +19 CoS and for the sixth time our room mate who plays the tank DH, says, I have this silence for the group of imps that all spam cast fireball and will kill you if not interrupted, and he did not have silence therefore I died and so did one of our guildies. This is not putting anything on a guildmate but we released and are running back and I had gone the wrong way and the guildie was just following me. Our roommate lost it on me. Asking me what was wrong with me and how could I do that during a 19 and I mean really screaming at me. I just stopped and said "Why are you speaking to me like that?" and he screams "BECAUSE IT'S A 19" to which my reply was, so? To be fair he did come up to me a few minutes after the dungeon and said sorry for being an asshole, but really he was like that anytime anything went wrong in a raid or dungeon from the release of the expansion. It wasn't only him either it was my partners identical twin brother as well. Just being toxic is the only word I have to explain it.
EDIT: My phone would not let me type out everything I needed to say without getting really bogged down so I'm doing that from my PC now. More information to come. I didn't realize I could just save as a draft.
I saw a lot of red flags other than him just being very unpleasant towards us in the apartment after a key or raid did not go his way. He works three days a week every other day. So for example his schedule will be Monday, Wednesday, Friday leaving him four days for whatever he wants. This time was spent doing absolutely nothing but playing World of Warcraft for 16 hours a day. I joke you not. I wake up at 5AM with my partner to get ready for the work day and our room mate would wake up an hour or two later, get on his pc, and stay there for the rest of the day. He would do this and neglect everything else including school work (I found out he dropped out because he could not keep up with working and going to school, I mostly think he stopped because all he did was play wow.) He would come home from his 8 hour shift, walk into his bedroom, change, sit on his PC and not move until the following early morning. This happened every day including days off for the next few months.
We have made quite a few friends playing games online and not being absolutely terrible at them. A friend of ours that we met two years ago who lives in Arizona just had a really bad break up and wanted to come to Victoria to get away and just have a good time. He was with us for 5 or 6 days and it was a really awesome experience. It made me realize a lot of things about this room mate though. I will admit in my mind I don't really consider him to be my friend anymore after the way he's spoken to me over a video game(I'm not being sensitive here I would describe his level of toxicity to be on par with those that play league of legends or people who just don't leave the basement) and how he leaves spaces once he is done with them. He is also incredibly condescending and always has something negative to say about whatever is going on in his the conversation. For example my partner downloaded a constellation ap on his phone since we're on the fifth floor and we've been watching the stars move around since early winter. Our roommate feels the need to aggressively state that constellations are just made up. It's okay to feel that way but to have that weird level of anger about it and to make anyone who looks at the stars or who recognizes a constellation as an idiot is really off putting. It also had nothing to do really with our interest in watching them move around. It was more of a navigation tool and the lore was interesting to us because every constellation is basically a dude or girl who had it so rough that becoming a constellation was the only resolution.
This friend came from Arizona to visit us during a very tense time in the apartment because my partner and I had just about had enough of the way we were being treated and spoken to over a video game/any disagreement within our topics of conversation.Our friend from Arizona cooked us dinner, cleaned up his mess when he was done, ran the dishwasher and put the dishes away the following morning. He also kept the place where he slept pretty organized and tidy. This friend also has ADHD and is suffering from depression due to things that were going on his life / this huge break up but was pleasant to speak to even if there was a difference of opinion. I don't think I've been around a lot of people who have ADHD and I realize that mental health presents differently in everyone. What I could tell was that this friend would get distracted easily and would have to keep reminding himself what he doing. It seemed almost like a ritual sometimes when he would go in a circle or loop of behaviors. He would go back or start at a certain point and almost re follow his train of thought which was interesting to watch. I'm sorry I'm trying to recount this experience and not be rude in anyway. It's really easy to see how our roommate could struggle with what he struggles with but ... we also see zero effort on his part to get better about those things. I brought up a lot of what goes on around the apartment to the friend who came to visit and expressed that this roommate does also have ADHD where in this person said okay that's valid but you have to put in the work. We then had a conversation about what he struggles with and how he combats it. Which I loved because it gave me so much insight into our roommate.
I'm getting pretty nervous and scared about living with this third person because I don't want to wake up to the apartment having been set on fire by his absent mindedness. I don't want to find out that I'm now very sick because he sucks at cleaning up after himself and I don't eat but the two of them do. I'm scared my partner is going to say something to him about his bathroom and our roommates emotional dysregulation is going to turn a simple request to keep his space clean into something more. I'm scared that we won't be able to have the nice things that we want to have because we pay for everything for this person. I know I stated above and earlier that he only works three days a week but I did not mention that his mom supplements his income by sending him $2,300 a month. $1,000 for rent and $1,300 for fun on top of the job he already works. He talks about how he has so much in savings right now and I think about how my partner has been covering his phone/internet/grocery/and weed bills since September and is running out of savings. I know this is his fault but it 's uncomfortable to ask someone for money multiple times. How many times is he supposed to ask for rent before it gets sent?
Everyone in the apartment smokes weed and of course we will smoke together thus making us smoke a bit more. The way we handle that is just splitting on ounces of weed after we go to the weed store. This guy never sends his half for the weed and smokes a huge portion of it. While playing World of Warcraft for his entire day he would hit the bong after every dungeon and dude was doing 100s of dungeons. He never once paid for an ounce of weed in that time or really since he's been here in September. This was because it's hard to ask him to send money for it over and over. Especially given that we have to speak to him almost daily about cleaning up after himself. THe last time my partner went to buy weed he asked if our roommate could be the one to pay for it. He seemed really offended and said he paid for half of the previous ounce and that they should just buy their own ounces from now one, but did not hesitate to smoke the ounce that my boyfriend had bought in the meantime and did not send/offer to send any money. This happens with things like dinner and grocery as well. He does not go to the store by himself to grab anything he could need he just eats food that my partner and I put into the house. We don't buy anything for him specifically we just buy food we like to eat and offer him some under the condition that he pays for food if he's eating it. He will send 1/3rd sometimes but wind up eating the majority of the food eaten. Given my partner is at work all day and only really snacks and eats a lot on the weekends. I don't eat meat and don't share a lot of similar foods with him so I eat my own things. When we do go to the grocery store together the only thing he grabs are snacks and when we get the total and split the cost three ways (me paying more than I have to since I don't like the snacks they get and really only get a few things- sorry I'm pretty mad about this point) he doesn't even send the money I found out. The last two/three times we went with a $300 grocery bill he has not contributed anything.
I don't really know what to do or what to say so I'm putting it out here on reddit. Please feel free to ask any other questions and I'll do my best to answer them because we need a resolution to this. The apartment doesn't feel like a positive and safe place anymore. It's just filled with frustration and confusion and those things cumulate and anyone would have a hard time functioning in this environment. My mental health needs this to improve because I can't waste my time cleaning and looking for a peaceful place only to have it taken from me not even 6 hours later. Thanks in advance and sorry if things are all over the place. I'm nervous about the post and feel like there is a lot of information and situations that lead us to where we are right now.
submitted by UnitedDifference1944 to badroommates [link] [comments]

2023.03.21 15:38 Andrew78956 the funni

Once upon a time there was a lovely princess. But she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort, which could only be broken by Love's first kiss. She was locked away in a castle guarded by a terrible fire breathing dragon. Many brave knights had attempted to free her from this dreadful prison, but none prevailed. She waited in the dragon's keep in the highest room of the tallest tower for her true love and true love's first kiss. Like that's ever going to happen. What a loony. Shrek Beware Stay out I think he's in here. All right. Lets get it! Hold on. Do you know what that thing can do to you? Yeah. He'll groan into your bones for his brains. Well actually that would be a giant. Now Ogres, huh, they are much worse. They'll make a soup from your freshly peeled skin. They'll chew your livers, squeeze the jelly from your eyes. Actually, it's quite good on toast. Back, back beast, back! I warned you! Right. This is the part, where you run away. Yeah! And stay out. Wanted. Fairytale creatures. Right, this one is full. Take it away. Give me that. Your fine days are over. -25 pieces of silver for the witch. Next. -Come on. Sit down there! And be quiet! This cage is so small. You wouldn't turn me in. I'll never be stubborn again. I can change. Please, give me another chance. Oh, shut up! Next. What do we got? This little wooden puppet. I'm not a puppet, I'm a real boy. Five shillings for the possessed toy. Take it away. No! Please, don't let them do it! Next. What do you got? Well, I've got a talking donkey! Right. Well that's good for ten schillings, if you can prove it. Oh, go ahead fella. Well? He's just a li..., just a little nervous. He's really quite a chatterbox. You boneheaded donkey! That's it. I have heard enough. Guards! No, no, he talks, he does! I can talk. I love to talk. I've talked to... Get her out of my sight! -No, no, I swear! Hey, I can fly. -He can fly! -He can fly! He can talk! -That's right, fool! Now I'm a flying, talking donkey! You might have seen house fly, maybe even a superfly. But I bet you ain't never seen a donkey fly! Seize him! Get him! This way! Hurry! You there. Ogre. -I. By the order of lord Farquaad. I am authorized to place you both under arrest. And transport you to designated resettlement facility. Oh really? You and what army? Can I say something to you? Listen, you were really, really something, back there. Incredible. Are you talking to... Yes, I was talking to you. Can I just tell you that you were really great back there with those guards. They thought that was all over there. And then you showed up and BAM. There was tripping on over themselves like babes in the woods. That really made me feel good to see that. Oh, that's great. Really. Man, it's good to be free. Now, why don't you go celebrate your freedom with your own friends? But I... I don't have any friends. And I'm not going out there by myself. Hey wait a minute. I have a great idea... I'll stick with you. You and me in green fighting machine. Together we'll scare the spin if anybody crosses us. Oh, a, that was really scary. Maybe you don't mine me saying. If that don't work, your breath will certainly do the job done, 'cause... you definitively need some tic-tac or something, 'cause your breath stinks! Man you've ??? my note! Just like the time... ...and then I ate some rotten berries. Man I had some strong gases leaking out of my but that day. Why are you following me? I'll tell you why. 'Cause I'm all alone, there is no one here, beside me. My problems have all gone. There's no one to derive me. But you got to have free ... -Stop singing! Well, it's no wonder, you don't have any friends. Wow! Only a true friend would be that truly honest. Listen! Little donkey. Take a look at me! What am I? A... ...really tall? No! I'm an Ogre. You know, grab your torch and pitchforks. Doesn't that bother you? Nope. Really? -Really really. Oh? Man, I like you. What's your name? A..., Shrek. Shrek?! But do you know, what I like about you, Shrek? You've got that kind of: "I don't care what nobody thinks of me" thing. I like that, I respect that, Shrek. You're all right. Uh, look at that. Who would wanna live in a place like that? That would be my home. Oh, it is lovely. Just beautiful. You know you're quite a decorator. It's amazing what you did with such a modest budget. I like that boulder. That is a nice boulder. I guess, you don't entertain much, do you? I like my privacy. You know I do to. That's another thing, we have in common. Like I hate it when you got somebody in your face. You try to give them a hint and they won't leave. And then there's that big occurred silence, you know? Can I stay with you? -What? Can I stay with you, please. Of course! -Really? No. -Please! I don't want to go back there. You don't how is like to be concerned like a freak. Well..., maybe you do. But that's why we have to stick together! You got to let me stay! Please! Please! OK, OK. -But one night only. -Huh, thank you! A, what are you do... No! This is going to be fun. We can stay up late, swap the manly stories. And in the morning... I'm making waffles. Where do I sleep? Outside! Oh, a, I guess that's cool. You know, I don't know you and you don't know me... ... so I guess, outside is best for me. Here I go. Good night. I do like that half door. I'm a donkey all alone outside. Sit by myself outside, I guess. I'm all alone, there's no one here beside me. -I thought, I told you to stay outside. -I am outside. Well James. This is far from the farm, but what choice do we have? It's not... What a lovely bed. -Got you! I found some cheese. Awful stuff. -Is that you Gordon? -How did you know? Enough! What are you doing in my house? Oh, no, no, no... Death prods off the table! Where would we supposed to put her. The bed's taken. What? I live in a swamp. I've put up signs. I'm a terrifying Ogre! What do I have to do, to get a little privacy? Oh, no! No, no! What are you doing in my swamp? All right, get out of here. All of you. Move it! Come on, let's go. And hurry up, hurry up. No, no, not there. Not there! Hey don't look at me. I didn't invite them. Oh gosh, no one invited us. -What? We were forced to come here. -By who? Lord Farquaad. He ??? All right. Who knows where this Farquaad guy is? Oh I do. I know where he is. Does anyone else know where to find him? -Anyone at all? -Me. -Anyone? Oh pick me, I know! Me, me. Ok, fine. Attention all fairy tale things! Do not get comfortable. Your welcome is officially warned up. In fact. I'm gonna see this guy Farquaad right now and get all off my land and back where you came from. You. You're coming with me. All right. That's what I like to hear, man. Shrek and Donkey, two stubborn friends off on a world and big city adventure. I love it. I'm on road again. Sing with me Shrek! I'm on road again... What did I say about singing? -Can I whistle? -No. -Well, can I hummer? -All right. That's enough. He's ready to talk. Run, run, run as fast as you can, you can't catch me. I'm the gingerbread man. You monster. I'm not a monster here. You are. You and the rest of that fairytale trash, poisoning my perfect world. -Now tell me! Where are the others? -Eat me. I've tried to be fair to you, creatures. Now my patience has reached its end! -Tell me! Or I'll... -No, no, not the buttons. Not gumdrop buttons. All right! Who's hiding them? Ok, I'll tell you. -Do you know the muffin-man? -The muffin-man? -The muffin-man. -Yes, I know the muffin-man. Who lives on Proully lane? -Well, she's married to the muffin-man. -The muffin-man! -The muffin-man! -She's married to the muffin-man. My lord! We found it. Well then, what are you waiting for? Bring it in. Magic mirror. Don't tell him anything! Evening. Mirror, mirror on the wall. Is this not the most perfect kingdom of them all? Well, technically, you're not a king. A..., felonious. -You were saying. -What I mean is a...'re not a king, yet. But you can become one. All you have to do, is marry a princess. Go on. So, just sit back and relax my lord, because it's time for you to meet today's eligible bachelorettes. And here they are. Bachelorette number one is a mentally abused shading from a kingdom far, far away. She likes sushi and hottubbing anytime. Her hobbies include cooking and cleaning for two evil sisters. Please welcome... Cinderella. Bachelorette number two is a kemp wearing girl from a land of fantasy. Although she lives with seven other man, she is not easy. Just kiss hers dead frozen lips and find out what a live wife she is. Come on. Give it up for... Show-white. And last but certainly not least. Bachelorette number three is a fire-breathing ????, dragon guarded castle, surrounded by a hot boiling lava. But don't let that cool you off. She's a loaded pistol who likes Pina Coladas and getting cut in the rain. Yours for the rescuing, Princess Fiona. So will it be, bachelorette number one? Bachelorette number two? Or bachelorette number three? -Two... -Three! -Two! One. No, no, no. Three. Pick number three my lord. Ok, ok. Number three. Lord Farquaad. You've chosen... princess Fiona. She's nice. Fiona. She's perfect. All I have to do is just find someone... But I probably should mention little thing that happens at night... -I'll do it! -Yes, but after sunset... Silence! I will make this princess Fiona my queen. And Duloc will finally have the perfect king! Captain! Assemble your finest man. We're going to have a tournament! That's it, that's, right there, that's Duloc. I've told you I'll find it. So. That must be lord Farquaad's castle. Aha, that's the place. Do you think maybe he's compensating for something. Hey, hey wait up Shrek! -Hey, you! -No, no! Wait a second. Look, I'm not gonna eat you. I just... It's quiet. Too quiet. Where is everybody? Hey look at this. Wow! -Let's do that again. -No. no. All right. You're going the right way for smack bottom. Sorry about that. That champion should have the honor, no, no... ...the privilege to go forth and rescue the lovely princess Fiona from the fireing keep of the dragon. If for any reason the winner is unsuccessful, the first runner up will take his place. And so on, and so forth. Some of you may die, but it's a sacrifice I'm willing to make. Applause. Let the tournament begin. What is that? Ugh, it's hideous. Oh, that's not very nice. It's just a donkey. Indeed. Knights! New plan. The one, who kills the Ogre, will be named champion. How about him. Oh, hey. Now, come on. Can't we just settle this over a pint? No? All right then. Come on. Hey Shrek! Let me, let me! The chair! Give him the chair! Thank you. Thank you, very much. I'm here until Thursday. Try the wheel! Shall I give the order sir? No. I have a better idea. People of Duloc. I give you our champion! What? Congratulation, Ogre. You've won the honor of embarking on a great and noble quest. Quest? I'm already on a quest. A quest to get my swamp back! -Your swamp? -Yeah, my swamp! Where you dumped those fairytale creatures. Indeed. All right Ogre, I'll make you a deal. Go on this quest for me and I'll give you your swamp back. Exactly the way it was? Down to the last slime covered toast tool. -And the squatters? -As good as gone. What kind of quest? Ok, let me get this straight! We gonna go find the dragon and rescue a princess just so Farquaad will give you back the swamp, which you only don't have, 'cause he filled it with full of freaks on the first place. -Is that about right? -You know what? Maybe there is a good reason, donkeys shouldn't talk. I don't get it Shrek. Why didn't you just pull some old Ogre stuff on them? You know, ??? . Grab his bones to make you brave. You know the whole Ogre trick. Oh, you know what. Maybe I could have decapitated entire village and put their heads on plate. Got a knife, cut open their spleens and drink their fluids. Does that sound good to you? A, no, not really, no. For your information, there is a lot more to Ogres than people think. -Example. -Example? OK, A-a-m, Ogres are like onions. -They stink? -Yes, no. -O, they make you cry. -No. Oh, you leave them out on the sun and they get all brown and start ??? little wild hairs? No! Layers! Onions have layers. Ogres have layers. Onions have layers. You get it? We both have layers. O, you both have layers. You know not everybody likes onions. Cake! Everybody loves cakes. Cakes have layers. I don't care what everyone likes. Ogres are not like cakes. You know what else everyone likes? Paffe. Have you ever met a person and you say: "Hey, let's get some paffe" and they say I don't like paffe. Paffe is delicious. No! You tensed, irritating, miniature peace of barden. Ogres are like onions. End of story. Bye, bye. See you lather. Paffe is maybe the most delicious thing on the whole damn planet. You know I think I've preferred your humming. Do you have a tissue or something, 'cause I'm making a mess. Just the word paffe has made me start slimying Why, Shrek, did you do that? Man you got to warn somebody before you just crack one off. My mouth was opened and everything. Believe me donkey, if it was me, you'd be dead. It's brimstone. We must be getting close. Yeah, right, brimstone. Don't be talking ??? brimstone. I know what I smell and ??? no brimstone. And they don't come of stone neither. Sure it's big enough, but look at the location. Oh, Shrek, remember when you said that Ogres have layers? Oh, yeah. Well, I have a confession to make. Donkeys don't have layers. We wear ??? sleeves. Wait a second. Donkeys don't have sleeves. -You know what I mean. -Oh, you can't tell me you're afraid of highs. No, I'm just a little uncomfortable of being on a rickety bridge over boiling lake of lava! Come on donkey, I'm right here beside you. Ok? For emotional support. We'll just hackle this thing together one little baby step after time. -Really? -Really really. Ok. That makes me feel so much better. Just keep moving and don't look down. Don't look down, don't look down. Shrek! I'm looking down! I can't do this. Just let me off right now, please. -But you're already half way. -Yeah, but I know that half is safe. Ok, fine. I don't have time for this. You go back. Shrek, no, wait. Don't do that! Oh, I'm sorry. Do what? -Oh. This? -Yes, that! Yes, yes. Do it. OK. -No, Shrek! -I'm doing it. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. Shrek, I'm gonna die. That will do Donkey, that will do. Cool. So where is this fire breathing pain in the neck anyway? Inside. Waiting for us to rescue her. I was talking about the dragon Shrek. -Are you afraid? -No, but shhhhh. Oh, good. Me neither. Because there's nothing wrong with being afraid. Here's a..., something responsible of the situation. Not to mention dangerous situation. And there's dragon that breathes fire. I'm sure he's meaner than a cow or anything, but they're scare. You know what I mean. I'm sure he's heavier than a cow... Donkey. Two things. Ok? Shut, up. Now go over there and see if you can find any stairs. Stairs? I thought we were looking for the princess. The princess will be up the stairs in the highest room in the tallest tower. What makes you think she'll be there? I read it in a book once. Cool. You handle the dragon, I'll handle the stairs. Oh, I'll find those stairs. I'll ???. That's right. Those stairs won't know which way they go. The drafting stairs, ??? Don't mess with me. I'm the stair master. I'm master of the stairs. I wish I had a stair right here right here now, I'd step all over it. Well, at least we know where the princess is. -But where is the... -Dragon! Donkey, look out! Got you. Oh, what large teeth you have. I mean, white sparkling teeth. You probably hear this all the time from your food, but you must bleach yourself, because that is one dashing smile you got there. And do I detect the hint of minty freshness? And you know what else? You're a girl dragon. Oh, sure. I mean 'course you're a girl dragon, 'cause you're just ricking the feminine beauty out. What's the matter with you? Do you have something in your eye? Man, I'd really love to stay, but you know I'm a asthmatic and I don't know if we would worked out. You'd be blowing smoke and stuff. Shrek! No, Shrek! Shrek! -Wake up! -What? Are you princess Fiona? I am. Awaiting a knight so bold as to rescue me. Oh, that's nice. Now let's go. But wait, sir knight. This be our first meeting. Should not be wonderful, romantic moment? Yeah. Sorry lady there's no time. Hey, what are you doing? You know, you should sweep me out of my feet. Out through the window and down the rope by to your valued steed. You've had a lot of time to plan this, haven't you? Uh-um. But we have to sing through this moment. You can residing of a poem to me. A ballad, a sonnet, a libretti. Or something. I don't think so. Well, can I at least know a name of my champion? Shrek. So, Shrek. I pray that you take this favor as a token of my gratitude. Thanks. -You didn't slay the dragon? -It's not my job to do this. Now, come on! But this isn't right. ??? That's what all the other knights did. Yeah. Right before they burst in the flame. That's not the point. Wait. Where are you going? Exit is over there. Well, I have to save my ass. What kind of knight are you? One of a kind. ...rush into a physical relationship. I'm not that emotionally ready for commitment of a this magnitude. That was the word I was looking for. Magnitude. Hey, that is unwanted physical contact. Hey, what are you doing? Ok, ok, let's just back up a little and take this one step at the time. I mean, we really should get to know each other first, you know what am I saying. As friends, maybe even as ??? Hey don't do that. That's my tail. That's ma personal tail. And you're going to tear it off.... Oh, no. No! -It talks?! -Yeah. It's getting to shut up, that's a trick. Ok, you two. Head for the exit. I'll take care of the dragon. Ruuuuun! You did it. You rescued me. Amizing, you're wonderful. You're a ... ...a little unorthodox I admit, but by deed is great and by heart is pure. I'm entirely in your debt. And where would a brave knight be without his noble steed. I hope you heard that. She called me a noble steed. She thinks I'm a steed. The battle is won. You may remove your helmet good sir knight. -Aah, no. -Why not? I have helmet hair. Please. I wouldst look upon the face of my rescuer. Oh, no, you wouldn't, dust. But, how will you kiss me? What? That wasn't in a job description. -Maybe it's a perk? -No. It's destiny. You must know how it goes. A princess locked in a tower and besieged by a dragon is rescued by a brave knight. And then they share true love's first kiss. With Shrek? You think, wait... think Shrek is your true love? Well, yes. You think that Shrek is your true love. What is so funny? Let's just say, I'm not your type, ok? Of course you are. You're my rescuer. Now, now remove your helmet. Look. I really don't think this is a good idea. -Just take off the helmet. -I'm not going to. -Take it off! -No! -Now! -Ok, easy. As you command your highness. You're an Ogre. Oh, you were expecting Prince Charming. Well, yes, actually. Oh no. This is all wrong. You're not supposed to be an Ogre. Princess, I was sent to rescue you by lord Farquaad, ok? He's the one, who wants to marry you. Well, then why didn't he come to rescue me? Good question. You should ask him that, when we get there. But I have to be rescued by my true love. Not by some Ogre and his pet. Well so much for noble steed. Look princess. You're not making my job any easier. Well I'm sorry, but your job is not my problem. You can tell lord Farquaad that if he wants to rescue me properly, I'll be waiting for him right here. Hey, I'm no ones messenger boy, all right? -I'm a delivery boy. -You wouldn't dare. -You coming donkey? -Put me down! Yeah, I'm right behind you. Put me down or you will suffer the consequences. This is not dignified. Put me down. Ok, here's another question. Let's say that a woman 'digged' you, but you don't really like her, that way. Now, how you let her down real easy, so her feelings aren't hurt? But you don't get burned to a crisp neither. How do you do this? Just tell her, she's not your true love. Everyone knows it what happens when you find... Hey! The sooner we get to Duloc, the better. Oh, yeah. You gonna love it there princess. It's beautiful. And what of my groom to be, lord Farquaad. What's he like? Well, let me put it this way, princess. Men of Farquaad's stature are in short supply. Oh no, Shrek. There are those who think little of him. Stop it. Stop it, both of you. You know, you're just jealous that you can never measure up to a great ruler like lord Farquaad. Yeah. Well maybe you're right princess. But I'd like you do that measuring when you see him tomorrow Tomorrow? It will take that long? -Shouldn't we stop to make camp? -No. That would take longer. We can keep going. But there are robbers in the woods. Whoa, time out Shrek. Camp is definitely something that sounds good. Hey. Come on. I'm scarier than anything we're gonna see in this forest. I need to find somewhere to camp, now! Hey, over here. Shrek, we can do better than that. Now, I don't think this is decent for princess. No, no, it's perfect. It just needs a few homey touches. Homey touches? Like what? A door. Well, gentleman I'll be d..., good night. Do you want me to come in and read you a bedtime story, 'cause I will... I said good night! Shrek! What are you doing? I just..., you know... Oh, come on, I was just kidding. And that one, that's Throwback. The only Ogre to ever spit over three wheat fields. Right. Yeah. Hey, can you tell my future form these stars? Well, the stars don't tell the future, Donkey. They tell stories. Look. There's Blodna, the "Flatulent" You can guess what he is famous for. All right. Now I know you're making this up. No. Look. There he is and there's the group of hunters running away from his stag. Man, there ain't nothing, but a bunch of little dots. You know donkey, sometimes things are more than they appear. Forget it. Hey Shrek. What are you gonna do when we get our swamp back, anyway? -Our swamp? -You know. When we're through rescuing the princess and all that stuff. We? Donkey, there is no we. There's no our. There's just me and my swamp. And the first thing I'm gonna do, is build a ten foot wall around my land. You cut me deep Shrek, you cut me real deep just now. You know, what I think? I think this whole wall thing is just a way to keep somebody out. No, do you think? -Are you hiding something? -Never mind Donkey. Oh, this is another one of those onion things, isn't it? No. This is one of those drop it and leave it alone things. -Why don't you want to talk about it? -Why do you want to talk about it? -Oh, Why you block? -I'm not blocking. -Oh yes you are. -Donkey, I'm warning you. -Who are you trying to keep out? Just tell me that Shrek. Who? Everyone, ok? -Oh, now we're getting somewhere. -Oh, for 'the love of pit'. Hey, what's your problem Shrek? What do you got against the whole world anyway? Look. I'm not the one with the problem, ok? It's the world that seems to have a problem with me. People take one look at me and go: AAA... Help! Run! A big stupid ugly Ogre. They judge me, before they even know me. That's why I'm better off alone. You know what? When we met, I didn't think you're just a big stupid, ugly Ogre. Yeah, I know. So, a... Are there any donkeys up there? Well, there's a Cabby. The small and annoying. Ok, ok. I see him, now. Big shining one, right there. That one, over there? That's the moon. Again. Show me again. Mirror, mirror, show her to me. Show me the princess. Perfect. Yeah. You know I like like that. Oh come on baby... -Donkey. Wake up. -What? -Wake up. Morning. How do you like your eggs? -Good morning princess. -What's all this about? You know, we kind of got of to a bad start yesterday and I wanted to make it up to you. I mean, after all, you did rescue me. Thanks. Well, eat up. We've got a big day ahead of us. -Shrek! -What? It's a compliment. Better out than in I always say. But that's no way to behave in front of a princess. -Thanks. -She's as nasty as you are. You know. You're not exactly what I've expected. Well, maybe you shouldn't judge people before you get to know them. Princess! What are you doing? ???mon shery, for I am your saviour. And I am rescuing you from this green...beast. Hey! That's my princess. Go find your own. Please, monster. Can't you see I'm a little busy here? Look, pal. I don't know who you think you are. Oh, of course. How rude that was. Please, let me introduce myself. Oh marry men! Man, that was annoying. Oh, you little... Shall we? ???all the forin??? Whoa, hold on, now. Where did that come from? -What? -That. Back there. That was amazing. Where did you learn that? Well, when one lives alone one has to learn these things in case there's a... There is an arrow in your butt. What? Oh, would you look at that. Oh, no... This is all my fault. I'm so sorry. -What's wrong? -Shrek's hurt. -Shrek's hurt? Shrek's hurt! -Oh, no. Shrek's going to die. -Donkey, I'm ok. You can't do this to me Shrek. I'm too young for you to die. Keep your legs elevated. Turn your head ???. -Does anyone know how to handle... -Donkey! Calm down. If you want to help Shrek, run into woods and find me a blue flower with red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. Ok, I'm on it. Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. Don't die Shrek. And if you see a long tunnel, stay away from the light! -Donkey! -Oh, yeah. Right. Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. -What are the flowers for? -For getting rid of the Donkey. Now, you hold still and I'll yank this thing out. -Hey! Easy with the yanking. -I'm sorry, but it has to come out. No, no. It's tender. What you're doing here is the opposite... -Don't move. -Ok, look. Time out. -Would you... Ok. What do you propose we do? Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. This would be so much easier if I wasn't colorblind. Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. Hold on, Shrek. I'm coming! Not good. Ok, ok, I can lose it. It's just about it. Nothing happened. We were just a... Look if you want to be alone, all you had to do is ask, ok? Oh, come on. That's the last thing on my mind. The princess here was just... Au! Hey, what's that? Is that... There it is, princess. -Your future awaits you. -That's Duloc? Yeah. I know. You'll shrink things lord Farquaad is compensating for something, which I think needs, he has a I guess we better move on. Sure, but Shrek... -I'm worried about Donkey. -What? I mean. Look at him. He doesn't look so good. -What are you talking about? I'm fine. -Well, that's what they always say. And the next thing you know you're on your back. -Dead! -You know she's right. You look awful. -Do you want to sit down? -You know, I'll make you up some tea. Well, I won't say nothing, but I've got this twinge in my neck. And if I turn my neck like this, look. Au, see? -He's hungry. I'll find us some dinner. -I'll get the firewood. Hey, where are you going? Oh man, I can't feel my thumbs. I don't have any thumbs!!! I think I need a hug. This is good. This is really good. -What is this? -Wheat rat. -Rotisserie style. -No kidding. -Oh, this is delicious. -Well, they also great in stews. Now, I don't mean to brag, but I make a mean wheat rat stew. I guess I'll be dining a little different late tomorrow night. Maybe you can come visit me in the swamp sometime. I'll cook all kinds of stuff for you. Swamp toast, soup fish, eye tartar. You name it. I'd like that. -Ah... , princess? -Yes, Shrek? I'm a.... I was wondering. Are you... a... Are you gonna eat that? Man, isn't this romantic. Just look at that sunset. Sunset?! Oh, no. It's late. It's very late. -What? -Wait a minute. I see what's going on here. You're afraid of the dark. Aren't you? Yes, yes. That's it. That's, I'm terrified. You know I'll better go inside. But don't feel bad, princess. I used to be afraid of the dark too. Until... Hey, no, wait. I'm still afraid of the dark. -Good night. -Good night. Ahh. Now I really see what's going on here. Oh, what are you talking about. Hey I don't wanna even hear. Look, I'm an animal and I got instincts. And I know that you two are digging on each other. I can feel it. Oh, you're crazy. I'm just bringing her back to Farquaad. Oh, come on, Shrek. Wake up and smell the fairemones. Just go in there and tell her how you feel. There's nothing to tell. Besides, even if I did tell her that... well you know. I'm not saying that I do, 'cause I don't. She's a princess and I'm... Ogre. Yeah, an Ogre. -Hey, where are you going? -To get more firewood. Princess. Princess Fiona? Princess, where are you? Princess? It's very spooky in here and are we playing little games. -No, no. -Help! Shrek! Shrek! -No. -Shrek! -It's ok. It's ok. -What did you do with the princess? -Donkey, shhh. I'm the princess. -It's me, in this body. -Oh my god. You ate the princess. -Can you hear me? -Donkey! Listen, keep breathing. I'll get you out of there! Shrek! Shrek! Shrek! This is me. Princess? What happened to you? You're a... different. -I'm ugly, ok? -Yeah. Was it something that you ate? 'Cause I told Shrek those rats were a bad idea. -You are what you eat, I say. -No. I've been this way as long as I can remember. What do you mean? Look, I've never seen you like this before. It only happens when the sun goes down. By night one way, by day another. This shall be the norm until you find true love's first kiss. Then, take love's true form... -Oh, that's beautiful. I didn't know you wrote poetry. -It's the spell. When I was a little girl, a witch cast a spell on me. Every night I become this. This horrible ugly beast. I was placed in a tower to await the day when my true love would rescue me. That's why I have to marry lord Farquaad tomorrow, before the sun sets and he sees me, like this? All right, all right. Calm down. Look, it's not that bad. You're not that ugly. Wait, wait, I'll not lie, you are ugly. But you only look like this at night. Shrek's ugly 24/7. But Donkey, I'm a princess. And this is not how a princess is meant to look. Princess. How about if you don't marry Farquaad? I have to. Only my true love's kiss can brake the spell. But you know, you're kind of an Ogre. And Shrek... Well you've got a lot in common. Shrek? Princess, I... How is it going first of all? Good? Good for me to. I'm ok. I saw this flower and thought of you because it's pretty. And, well, I don't really like it, but I thought you may like it, because you're pretty. But I like you anyway. A.... I'm in trouble. Ok, here we go. Who could ever love a piece so hideous and ugly? Princess and ugly don't go together. That's why I can't stay here with Shrek, but only chance to live happily ever after is to marry my true love. Don't you see, Donkey? That's just how it has to be. It's the only way to break the spell. Well, at least you've got tell Shrek the truth. No, no. You can't breathe the word. No one must ever know. What's the point of being unable to talk? You got to keep secrets. Promise you won't tell. Promise! You know, before this is over, I'm going to need whole lot of serious therapies. All right, all right. I won't tell him. But you should. Look at my eye twitching. I tell him, I tell him not. I tell him. I tell him not. I tell him! Shrek! Shrek! There's something I want ... Shrek. Are you all right? Perfect. Never been better. I... There's something I have to tell you. You don't have to tell me anything, princess. I heard enough last night. -You've heard what I said? -Every word. I thought you'd understand? Oh, I understand! Like you said, who could love a hideous, ugly beast! -I thought that wouldn't matter to you. -Yeah, well, it does. Ah, right on time. Princess. I brought you a little something. What I missed? What I missed? -Princess Fiona. -As promised. Now hand it over. Very well, Ogre. The deed to your swamp. Cleared out as agreed. Take it and go. Before I change my mind. Forgive me princess for startling you, but you startled me. For I've never seen such a radiant beauty before. -I am lord Farquaad. -Lord Farquaad? Oh, no, no... forgive me my lord for I was just saying short... farewell. Oh. That is so sweet. You don't have to raise good manners on the Ogre. -It's not like it has feelings. -No. You're right. It doesn't. Princess Fiona, beautiful fair flawless Fiona, I ask your hand in marriage. Will you be the perfect bride for the perfect groom? Lord Farquaad, I accept. Nothing would make... Excellent! I'll start the plans for tomorrow we wedd... No! I mean I... Why wait? Let's get married today. Before sunset. Oh, anxious are we? You're right. The sooner, the better. There's so much to do. There is the camera, the cake, the band, the guests... Captain! Round up some guests. Farewell Ogre. Shrek, what are you doing? You let her get away. -Yeah, so what. -Shrek. There's something about her that you don't know. -I talked to her last night. She's... -Yeah I know you talked to her last night. You're great pal, aren't you? Now, if you two are such good friend, why didn't you follow her home? -Shrek. I want to go with you. -I told you, didn't I? You're not coming home with me. I live alone. My swamp, me and nobody else! Understand? Nobody! Especially useless, pathetic, annoying, talking donkeys! -But. I thought... -Yeah. You know what? You thought wrong. Shrek. Donkey? What are you doing? I was thinking of all the people, you would recognize a wall when you see one. Well, yeah. But the wall supposed to go around my swamp. Not through it. It is around your half. See? That's your half and this is my half. Oh, your half? Yes, my half. I helped rescue the princess. I did half the work. I get half the booty. Now hand me that big old rock, the one that looks like your head -Back off! -No. You back off! -This is my swamp. -Our swamp. -Let go, Donkey! -You let go! -Stubborn jackass. -Smelly Ogre. Fine! Hey, hey, come back here. I'm not through with you, yet. -Well, I'm through with you! -Well, you know. You were always me, me, me. Well, guess what? Now it's my turn! So you just shut up and pay attention! You are mean to me, you insult me, you don't appreciate anything that I do! You're always pushing me around or pushing me away. Oh, yeah? Well, if I treated you so bad, how come you came back? Because that's what friend do. They forgive each other! Oh, yeah. You're right Donkey. I forgive you for stabbing me in the back! You're so wrapped up in layers, onion boy. You're afraid of your own feelings. -Go away. -See? There you are, doing it again. Just like you did it to Fiona. And all she ever do, was like you. Maybe even love you. Love me? She said I was ugly! A hideous creature. -I heard that you two were talking. -She wasn't talking about you. She was talking about... ...somebody else. She wasn't talking about me? Well then, who was she talking about? No way, I'm not saying anything. You won't listen to me, right? Right? -Donkey. -No! Ok, look. I'm sorry, all right? I'm sorry. I guess I am just a big stupid, ugly Ogre. Can you forgive me? -Hey, that's the friends are for, right? -Right. -Friends? -Friends. So? What did Fiona said about me? Why are you asking me for? Why don't you just go ask her. The wedding! We'll never make it in time! Never fear! For where there is a will, there is a way. And I have I way. Donkey? -I guess this is just my act of magnetism. -Oh, come here, you. All right. All right. Don't get all started. No one likes kissass. All right, hop on. Hold on tight. I hadn't have a chance to install seat belts, yet. People of Duloc. We gather here today to bear witness to reunion of our new king... Excuse me. Could you just skip ahead to "I do's"? Go on. Go ahead and have some fun, if we need you, I'll whistle. How about that? Shrek, wait, wait a minute. You want to do this right, don't you? -What are you talking about? -It's the line, it's the line you got to wait for. The priest is going to say: "Speak now or forever hold your peace". And that's where you say: "I object". -I don't have time for this. -Wait, wait. What are you doing? Listen to me! Look, you love this woman, don't you? -Yes. -You want to hold her! -Yes. -Please her! -Yes! Then you got to, got to try a little tender love. -The chicks love that romantic crap. -All right. Cut it out. When does this guy say the line? We got to check it out. And as so by the power of these two... What do you see? -I now pronounce you... -There they go! -...he all ready said it. -Oh, for 'the love of pit'. I object! Shrek? Oh, now what does he want? Hi, everyone. Having a good time, aren't you? I love Duloc, first of all. Very clean. -What are you doing here? -Really, it's rude enough being alive, when no one wants you. But showing up uninvited to a wedding... -Fiona! I need to talk to you. -Oh, now you wanna talk? Well it's a little late for that. So if you'll excuse me. -But you can't marry him! -And why not? Because, because he's just marrying you so he can be king. -Outrageous! Fiona, don't listen to him. -He's not your true love. -What do you know about true love? -Well, I ...I'm in... Oh, this is precious. The Ogre has fallen in love with the princess. Laugh. Shrek. Is this true? Who cares. It's preposterious. Fiona, my love, we gonna kiss away for our happily ever after. Now kiss me! By night one way, by day another. I wanted to show you before. Well. That explains a lot. Oh. It's disgusting. Guards, guards. I order you to get them out of my sight. -Now! Get them! Get them, both! -No! This marriage is minding, and that makes me king. See? See? -Shrek! -No. -Don't just stand there, you dogs. -Get out of my way. No! Shrek! -And as for you my wife. -Fiona! I'll have you locked back in that tower for the rest of your days! I will have order. I will have potential. I will have... All right, nobody move! I got a dragon here and I'm not afraid to use it. I'm a donkey on the edge! Celebrity marriages. They never last, do they? Go ahead Shrek. -Fiona? -Yes, Shrek? I love you. Really? Really, really. I love you too. A time for true love's first kiss... Fiona? Fiona? Are you all right? Yes. But I don't understand. I'm supposed to be beautiful. But you are beautiful. I was hoping this would be a happy ending. God bless us, everyone.
submitted by Andrew78956 to u/Andrew78956 [link] [comments]

2023.03.21 14:44 Forsaken_Fortune3934 [85%] COMPLETE SUMMARY OF THE SUBREDDIT

If anything is out of place or forgotten, please let me know what it is [with link to the post] and in between which points I should exactly put it!
- Creation
- Grim had a lil too much zaza
- u/clutzyangel wonders if non-Heartslabyul students can attend the parties.
- u/FigExisting9085 is worried about the OB rumors
- Crowley posts an AITA concerning the Ramshackle Prefect
- Party at Diasomnia!!
- Cater posts feet pics [Idia, Malleus, and Leon'a respectively]
- u/FigExisting9085 asks about everyone's UM!
- u/Danganrhombus thinks about transferring out of Heartslabyul [They're in Pomefiore now!!]
- Florence is being stalked by Rook.
- Favorite Teacher Poll! [Crewel won]
- u/Theseriouschicken013 asks about everyone's favorite food!
- He cook-a de pasta [Heartslabyul Hedgehogs]
- Lilia cooks [that's a lot of eggs.]
- Workplace Romance Poll ["Relationships are fine, just be mature about it." won]
- Lilia pic drop!
- J's Crystals advertisement!
- Walter White + Floyd
- Idia touching grass stickbug
- Worst Dorm Poll [Savanaclaw won]
- Most Comfortable Uniform Poll [PE Uniform!]
- Tweels kick out u/tomurabi out of Ramshackle
- Bossman's Guide on How to Ward off the Tweels
- Ace posts an AITA concerning the Tart Incident
- "Floyd is the type of scallywag to purposefully aim his shit so the toilet water gives his asshole the sweet kiss of Poseidon."
- Ven asks help from a Pomefiore Student concerning Desert Bell Flowers.
- Idia gets caught trying to coerce Grim into Ignihyde.
- "Inside you there are two wolves. Wait LMAO that's a cat."
- What if RSA student in NRC subreddit? [Turns out to be true.]
- Floyd rides up to u/fidelgato on a pink scooter bike thing.
- Arrival of the Tsums.
- Leona & King of Beasts similarities.
- Zora gives Hikaru Lilia's cooking.
- Hikaru gets sick.
- Zora posts an AITA concerning that incident.
- Misfortune Poll [Rook won.]
- Crowley is overstepping boundaries acting like a parent when he's not, and Ramshackle Prefect asks what to do about it.
- What is Grim?
- J asks how to make people less scared of their Qeer-Platonic partner.
- A question about Idia Shroud.
- Art Club questions arise.
- "How often do you go to the Lounge?" Poll ["Every now and then, but I like the food!" won.]
- Bossman's origins as a boss begin! [u/Tlali22, u/BlueEyesIsBestCard, u/Syene-, u/forgets-people-exist, u/scribbleknit, and I are hired!!]
- I got stuck up the college.
- Scout helps me down!
- Professor Trein e-mails my mom, and I get sent to Vargas...
- "DAE think the Thorn Fairy kina hot???"
- Sophie joins Reddit [Welcome to Reddit, Sophie!! 🎉🎉]
- u/SarcasticPan01 talks about the lack of accessibility in NRC.
- Hikaru roasts NRC students.
- Scout captures a pic of a sleeping Leona.
- Cater drops Tsum pics with Riddle!!
- I discover how the Seabreeze Moisturizer is made.
- Jade chases me all the way to Diasomnia.
- I hide under Malleus' bed.
- I escape with the help of u/SophieSephy and u/Tlali22.
- Trey joins Reddit [Welcome to Reddit, Trey!! 🎉🎉]
- Map guide to hide from Vargas drops.
- J challenges Leona & Malleus to a battle!
- Scout raises concerns on Vargas' disregard for student's physical conditions.
- LeoMal lose terribly and are in a coma.
- Syene asks for UM Mastering tips!
- Seabreeze Moisturizer ad [GO BUY ONE NOW!!]
- Trey loses Tsum-Trey.
- Tsum-Trey is first found in courtyard.
- Tsum-Trey makes his way to the library.
- Tsum-Trey has been captured!
- Eppy pen.
- Epel wonders how he can get Vil off of his back.
- LeoMal are resting in the infirmary.
- J sets up Tsum Playdate!
- u/K0kichiOuma thinks they might be poisoned.
- Zora and Hikaru pique Jade's interest.
- Best Club Poll [Pop Music Club won.]
- Epel remembers orientation.
- Ven posts rules on how to survive NRC.
- I find Cheka.
- Scarabia party w Cheka!!
- "What is Grim?" Poll [Cat won.]
- u/NetMonet8305 asks help with their Tsum.
- Ortho needs help getting Idia out of his room.
- Tsum-Trey cooks breakfast!!
- Science Club Field Trip proposal.
- Someone spills coffee in Pomefiore.
- Local Dormmouse stuck in teapot for three days gets freed!
- Scout got sick :((
- Epel wonders what Lilia's weakness is.
- Lilia joins Reddit [Welcome to Reddit, Lilia!! 🎉🎉]
- Tic-tac-Vil
- Bossman accidentally joins Film-Making Club
- Crowley is irresposible; u/fluffybunny359 suffers.
- Science Club Field Trip confirmed!
- Trey loses his phone.
- Rook find Trey's phone [Welcome to Reddit, Rook!! 🎉🎉]
- Lilia offers to feed Scout. It's surprisingly good!
- Epel gets caught for all his Reddit shenanigans.
- Rook finds Tsum-Trey.
- Crowley confiscates Ramshackle Prefect's phone.
- Ortho lends Prefect an Ignihyde computer.
- Floyd acquires flamethrower.
- Tweels arrive in Ignihyde.
- Ignihyde burns down.
- Heartslabyul burns down.
- Ignihyde & Heartslabyul are relocated to Ramshackle & Diasomnia respectively.
- Crowley gave back u/fluffybunny359's phone and promptly goes MIA.
- Pomefiore opens their doors for "those who've been affected by the latest happenings of the day."
- Floyd & Jade are suspended.
- Bossman, because they punched Azul, is forced to work @ Mostro Lounge 😔
- Bossman gets voice lessons from Vil!
- u/Garlickgun loses their tuna.
- Staff & Housewardens do a search on all rooms across campus due to the flamethrower incident.
- Interdorm sleepovers!!
- Ortho has a talk with the Headmage.
- Trey gets his phone back!! Tsum-Trey goes missing?!
- Malleus temporarily loses his 'Gao-Gao Dragon-Kun.'
- Lilia cooks.
- u/K0kichiOuma breaks out of Octavinelle.
- Floyd escapes custody?!
- Floyd join Reddit [Welcome to Reddit, Floyd!! 🎉🎉]
- Floyd finds both gun and flamethrower.
- Floyd goes to Pomefiore to take revenge because Vil didn't like Floyd's hair.
- Sparkly Purple Bastcycle is found in Pomefiore's Apple Orchard.
- Floyd burns down Pomefiore orchards.
- Floyd is subdued with promises of food [a Cuban sandwich, 12 chicken nuggets, 2 milkshakes, and 7 servings of takoyaki.]
- Floyd is apprehended.
- CHC [Crowley Hate Club] is formed!!
- Malleus finds J's phone [Welcome to Reddit, Malleus!! 🎉🎉]
- Crowley slander era.
- Riddle and Trey bake treats! [They were very delicious.]
- Ven & I raid the school archives 😎😎
- CROWLEY'S BACK?!?!?!?! [On a later post, it's revealed that he returned from a failed wedding with a ghost lady and that J challenged him to a duel to the death.]
- Replanting Pomefiore Orchards!!
- Cater got a little too silly with unbirthday party prep ✨✨
- Campus Repairs are scheduled!!
- Numerous students spray-paint Crowley's office! [Crowley has yet to make an official appearance outside of the instance in the archives at this time.]
- J gives Jamil their phone for a week [Welcome to Reddit, Jamil!! 🎉🎉]
- Crowley Diary Leak
- u/RamshackleMercenary drops phone towers with Epel all over campus using helicopter [How they managed to fit that in the mirrors, we'll never know.]
- It's a Moray~🎶
- People sign up for the Science Club field trip!!
- Ghosts are gone!
- Unbirthday Party in Heartslabyul!!
- First CHC meeting is postponed.
- [ooc: timeline stuff]
- Secrets about the OB's are revealed
- Food 💗💗
- Grim got drip 🥶🥶
- Hikaru in a glass cup!
- Unknown students vandalize the tweels rooms.
- u/K0kichiOuma sends out invites for their show!! [Will take place @ Heartslabyul Unbirthday Party and Ignihyde when dorms are finally rebuilt.]
- Tweels acquire toy car and get revenge.
- Tweels arrive in Ramshackle.
- Vil does Epel's hair!
- Floyd forms a union against Azul's working conditions. [Around half of Lounge staff join.]
- Ramshackle Prefects form yuunion against Crowley's living conditions.
- Ace temporarily loses his vest.
- Epel haircut reveal!!!
- Vil loses his 19th century golden ring with a number of small stones. [Has it been found yet?]
- Someone blew up u/RamshackleMercenary's helicopter.
- Someone tased the tweels.
- The tweels are coming for their assailant.
- Ortho finds cat on Main Street!
- Epel names cat 'Moomoo.'
- Kalim takes pictures of Jamil!!
- Egg.
- Idia & Tian DM's leaked.
- Bonnie joins Reddit!! [Welcome to Reddit, Bonnie!! 🎉🎉]
- I am broke.
- Photography club is formed!!
- Rook says "Bless You" to Cater.
- u/K0kichiOuma does a cool trick!!
- u/fluffybunny359 hangs out with Malleus Draconia.
- Kalim takes pictures of Jamil!!
- Jade & Floyd steal horses from Equestrian Club.
- Mostro Lounge is back in business! [10% discounts if anyone asks for Syene!!]
- u/fluffybunny359 goes on party with Lilia @ the club Sparkling Hall!
- I now work @ the Mostro Lounge!
- Horses are returned! [Riddle & Trey will be staying overnight to make sure Tweels do not strike again.]
- u/RamshackleMercenary sends DM's to someone.
- They do not respond.
- u/RamshackleMercenary is sad and with spear.
- Tsum-Cater steals Cater's phone and takes around 90 selfies!
- Sophie's back from vacay! [Welcome back, Sophie!! 🎉🎉]
- Floyd just bought new shoes for a good deal!
- Jamil takes pictures of himself before Kalim decides to post photos of Jamil!
- Bossman Update! [Bossman's blot is going down, and they train with Leona!] [Welcome back, Bossman!! 🎉🎉]
- Scarabia kitchen almost burns down twice.
- Shawarma at Scarabia, yay!!!
edit: The feet are complete! And added some stuff around the end ;)))
submitted by Forsaken_Fortune3934 to NightRavenCollege [link] [comments]

2023.03.21 14:41 TypicalBiscotti629 “Avacado”, “Ad’s”, “Quaterly”, “tomatos”….

“Avacado”, “Ad’s”, “Quaterly”, “tomatos”…. submitted by TypicalBiscotti629 to galsonthego [link] [comments]

2023.03.21 14:40 laddiemawery [US] [Selling] Criterion, Arrow, 4k, Blu, Anime, Steelbooks, Retro Games

DVD Sets
Item Cond. Price
The Land Before Time Complete Collection DVD Opened Free on $75+
Item Cond. Price
Aladdin Opened $8
Hellboy (Zavvi Region B) Sealed $20
Hellboy 2 (Zavvi Region B) Sealed $20
Murder on The Orient Express (Zavvi Region B) Sealed $25
The Hitmans Bodyguard Opened $5
The Goonies (Zavvi Region B) Sealed $18
The Lion King Opened $8
Item Cond. Price
Walle 4k Sealed $25
Lone Wolf and Cub Box Set Sealed $45
Godzilla Showa Era Sealed $100
World of Wong Kar Wai Sealed $100
Infernal Affairs Trilogy Sealed $60
Arrow Video
Item Cond. Price
8 Diagram Pole Fighter Sealed $20
Battle Royale Box Set (Region B) Sealed $30
Blind Beast Sealed $20
Come Drink With Me Sealed $20
Female Prisoner Scorpion Collection Sealed $50
One Arm Boxer Sealed $20
Pitch Black 4k Sealed $25
Sister Street Fighter Sealed $20
Sixteen Candles (Region B) Opened $15
The Daimajin Trilogy Sealed $40
Limited Editions
Item Cond. Price
LifeLabsMedia 001 - Dragon (2011) Opened $100
KimchiDVD Intimate Strangers Opened $65
Sheep Without A Shepherd Sealed $65
Turbo Kid Full Slip (Amaray not steelbook) Sealed $90
MLIFE Isle of Dogs Sealed $90
Blu Ray
Item Cond. Price
Avengers Age of Ultron Opened $3
Captain America Civil War Opened $3
Crazy Rich Asians Sealed $3
Deadpool Opened $3
Death Race Unrated & Death Race 2 Unrated Opened $3
Edward Scissorhands Sealed $4
Five Feet Apart (Case is broken) Opened $3
Fox and The Hound & Fox and The Hound 2 Opened $3
Friday the 13th 8 Movie Collection Opened $25
Guardians of The Galaxy 3D Opened $5
I Kill Giants (French release) Opened $3
Interstellar (No film cell) Opened $3
Jurassic World Opened $3
Kubo and The Two Strings (2021 release) Opened $8
La La Land Opened $3
Les Miserables Opened $3
Mad Maxy Fury Road Opened $3
Rob Zombie Trilogy Opened $9
Robin Hood (2018) Opened $3
Sonic The Hedgehog Opened $3
Star Wars The Force Awakens Opened $3
Sucker Punch Opened $3
The Hateful Eight Opened $3
The Magnificent Seven Opened $3
The November Man Sealed $3
The Princess Bride Sealed $3
Trolls & Trolls World Tour Opened $3
DC Collection
Item Cond. Price
Batman Soul of The Dragon (FNAC potentially region B) Opened $5
Batman V Superman Ultimate Edition Opened $3
Suicide Squad Extended Opened $3
Superman Motion Picture Anthology 1978-2006 (potentially region B locked) Opened $20
Item Cond. Price
Harry Potter & Fantastic Beasts 10 Film Collection (Region B) Sealed $35
Lord of The Rings Extended 20th Remaster Sealed $25
Pirates of The Caribbean 5 Movie Collection (Region B) Opened $20
Twilight The Complete Saga Sealed $10
Premium Steelbooks
Item Cond. Price
HDZeta Zack Snyders Justice League OC Sealed $230
HDZeta Wonder Woman 1984 Full Slip Sealed $85
Item Cond. Price
31 A Rob Zombie Film Sealed $15
Joker Sealed $20
Wonder Sealed $15
T2 / Total Recall Combo Sealed $20
Batman Ninja (Region B) Opened $15
Justice League Dark Apokolips War Opened $15
The Death of Superman 4k Sealed $50
Free Guy 4k Opened $30
Hitmans Bodyguard 4k 1+2 Opened $35
Jungle Cruise 4k + Mulan 4k $40
Mortal Kombat (1995 + 2021) Opened $35
No Game No Life Opened $65
Top Gun / Top Gun Maverick Limited Edition Set Opened $85
Ultraman Ultra Seven Sealed $15
Anime Limited Editions
Item Cond. Price
Attack on Titan Vol 5 (JPN Import, no subs) Sealed $20
Burn The Witch Limited Edition (JPN Import) Sealed $20
D Fragments Vol 1 (JPN Import, no subs) Sealed $20
Flip Flappers Collectors Edition (Region B) Sealed $55
Grand Blue Box Set (JPN Import, no subs) Opened $85
Kill La Kill Complete Box Set (Region B) Sealed $100
Harukana Receive Complete Vol. 1-6 w/Art Storage Box (JPN Import, no subs) Opened $215
No Rin Complete Vol 1-6 (JPN Import, no subs) Opened $125
Princess Principal Collectors Edition (Region B) Sealed $50
STEINS;GATE Blu-ray Box (MFXT-9001, JPN Import, no subs) Opened $150
Steins;Gate Fuka Ryoiki no Deja vu w/English Subtitles (KAXA-6801, JPN Import) Opened $80
Ushio & Tora Premium Edition Sealed $75
Anime Blu Ray
Item Cond. Price
Cheer Boys!! The Complete Series Opened $5
Hayate The Combat Butler Season 3 Sealed $5
Flip Flappers Sealed $15
Sengoku Basara Samurai Kings Season 1 & 2 + Movie Sealed $40
Yu-Gi-Oh 2 Movies $12
Anime DVD
Item Cond. Price
Heat Guy J Limited Edition Box 1 Sealed $10
Little Busters! EX Sealed $9
Nobunaga The Fool Collections 1+2 Opened $9
Pokemon Advanced The Complete Collection Opened $18
Pokemon Sun & Moon Ultra Legends The Last Grand Trial Opened $15
Shining Hearts Sealed $20
Sorcerer Hunters (All DVDs) Mix $20
The Wanderers The Final Adventures Sealed $8
feature2 (Coicent / Five Numbers!) Sealed $7
Retro Games
Games are be untested
Item Price
PS2 Fat Console $100
PS1 Games PS1 Games
Lilo & Stitch $12
Rugrats Search for Reptar $12
A Bugs Life $12
Frogger $10
Nascar Thunder 2002 $10
Madden 2002 $10
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone $10
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (x2) $10
Yu-Gi-Oh Forbidden Memories $15
DragonBall Z Ultimate 22 $15
Barbie Race & Ride $10
Digimon World $20
Spider-Man $20
PS2 Games PS2 Games
Pirates of The Caribbean The Legend of Jack Sparrow $8
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire $8
Eragon $8
Guitar Hero II $8
Guitar Hero encore Rock the 80's $8
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkabam $8
Star Wars Battlefront II $8
Gran Turismo 4 $8
NBA Live 07 $8
NBA 06 $8
NBA Live 2005 $8
SSX on tour $8
Hot Wheels Velocity X $8
Star Wars Episode III Revenge of the Sith $8
Tony Hawk's American Wasteland $8
Devil May Cry 3 $8
The Incredibles $8
A Series of Unfortunate Events $8
Prince of Persia The Two Thrones $8
Kingdom Hearts $8
Kingdom Hearts II $8
Harry Potter Quidditch World Cup $8
OG Xbox / 360 OG Xbox / 360
Dead to Rights (OG) $5
Van Helsing (OG) $5
Devil May Cry 4 $5
Battlefield 4 $5
Prince of Persia The Forgotten Sands $5
Destiny $5
FIFA Soccer 10 $5
Saints Row 2 $5
submitted by laddiemawery to MediaSwap [link] [comments]

2023.03.21 14:01 pot_atosalad Question about V1 switch

Hello! Gusto ko lang po itanong kung ano po ang tamang price tag or range ng NS v1 is this okay lang po? (Not here to sell just want to improve my listing on facebook) Gusto ko po kasi mapaworth it ang bili.. so is this worth 10,5k or should I include my primary account since NS v1 is old and not that appealing to switch gamers
--Inclusions: -Skull n Co Case and Bag -Charger -HDMI and charging cable -Dock -Joycon Grip -Tempered Glass -128gb memory card
My primary account includes:
-Pokemon Arceus
-Animal Crossing with DLC
-Stardew Valley
-Risk of Rain 2
-Jump Force
-Plants Vs. Zombie: Battle for Neighborville
-Spongebob: Krusty Cook-Off
-Dragon’s Dogma

What would the right pricing be for this one?
submitted by pot_atosalad to NintendoPH [link] [comments]

2023.03.21 13:57 SnooChipmunks2470 LF: PoGO Stamped Shiny (Cleffa/ Igglybuff/ Happiny/ Smoochum) FT: Pics 📸

LF: PoGO Stamped Shiny (Cleffa/ Igglybuff/ Happiny/ Smoochum) FT: Pics 📸 submitted by SnooChipmunks2470 to PokemonHome [link] [comments]

2023.03.21 13:04 Every_Addition8638 Found this on my phycology book in the charter about learning

Found this on my phycology book in the charter about learning submitted by Every_Addition8638 to httyd [link] [comments]

2023.03.21 12:50 Seth_Milview XXS hydreigon. Normal to scale

XXS hydreigon. Normal to scale submitted by Seth_Milview to pokemongo [link] [comments]

2023.03.21 12:49 Muninn22 [EU] Semi-hardcore PvE guild, looking for new members

Are you tired of joining raid/strike pugs and struggling to get clears? Do you want to become better at the game? Do you wish you’d have multiple teammates, with a plethora of experience in multiple classes, without joining a static? Do you want to learn and improve at the game, with trainers and players willing to take their time and help you?
Asgardians [AG] is a semi-hardcore social European-based guild that can offer a place for you to become an above-average enjoyer of end-game instanced PvE. With our team of experienced members, we can provide consistent clears of almost all content in the game.
What our fixed schedule provides right now is the following:
Monday raid FC including CMs [KC, SH, W4, W6, W7], running from 19:00 to 22:00,
Tuesday strike FC (with full IBS, AH, XJJ, OLC* and KO* CM (*if we have a full group of exp members), running from 19:00 to 21:30,
Daily CM+T4+Recs fractal runs (with runs averaging around 1 hour),
Training by request (for whole sets of wings; individual role practice) if spots fill.
Our next set of goals that we are looking forward towards are:
Establishing a 10-man progression group for HT CM.
Establishing a 1-7FC speed progression static (Sunday evenings at 19:00 CET), whose goal will be to learn advanced raid clearing strategies while also attempting to achieve clear times of around the 2h mark.
Next to that, we also like to explore other options that GW2 has to offer – we have WvW and PvP enjoyers, achievement hunters, open world commanders (focusing mostly on Dragons End), with ties to the map completion speedrunning community and much more. We are looking for players that already have prior experience with raiding. However, we are also willing to make an exception for individuals that show a strong drive for improvement, no matter their prior experience. The other requirements we also follow are:
An age requirement of 20+,
Be EU server based,
Have a working microphone and speak English,
Be ready to join an environment where constructive criticism will be provided when needed,
Desire for self-improvement.
Our recruitment process is as follows:
If you are interested in joining, please join our discord ( ) where you read the rules and PM our recruitment officer (Nia),
You will have a short interview with our officer where you will be asked to fill in an application and asked about your expectations, motivation, and goals. After the interview, if everything is in order you will receive an invite to the guild and a role on discord,
If you are already an experienced player; to be able to join any of our raids/strikes, you will have to go through a trial process, which will include killing several different raid bosses, where your knowledge and skills will be assessed – we put a lot of emphasis on individuals knowing how to raid properly and knowing mechanics well. This will then result in 3 possible outcomes:
If the officers see you as a good fit, you will be given permission to join and sign up for our future events as your heart desires,
If the officers accept your potential but see you need to brush up on some mechanics, you will be asked to do some more training (do not fret, we run multiple trainings by request),
If the officers do not see you as a fit you will be removed from the guild.
If you have any questions or are interested in joining, read the discord rules and pm Nia on discord.
submitted by Muninn22 to guildrecruitment [link] [comments]

2023.03.21 12:23 IIWIIM8 Global COVID Cases For 21MAR23

Summary As Of: 21MAR @ 12:06 GMT
Countries 229 + 2
Cases 682,656,693
Deaths 6,820,828
Recovered 655,604,424
Active Cases 20,231,441

Countries reporting new cases: 33

Countries reporting new deaths: 23

Countries reporting increased Active Cases: 25

Countries reporting decreased Active Cases: 17

Complete Chart
Data Source
With Active cases w/No Active cases w/All cases rcvrd
Cntry’s 222 5 2
Cases 682,656,693 5 2
Deaths 6,820,828 3,390 0
Rcvrd 655,604,424 4,843,697 1,959

Past 7 day totals of new: cases, deaths, recoveries & actives. With 3 & 7 day averages.

Date Cases Deaths Rcvr’s Actives
14MAR 115,486 648 208,138 20,270,390
15MAR 136,971 789 140,715 20,350,366
16MAR 100,699 702 126,299 20,332,794
17MAR 85,397 512 149,843 20,353,711
18MAR 68,384 222 124,789 20,346,860
19MAR 65,965 328 117,881 20,303,938
20MAR 59,328 523 103,526 20,259,217
3 Day Avg 64,559 358 115,399 20,303,338
7 Day Avg 90,319 532 138,742 20,316,754

Cases, Deaths, Actives by Continent

Cont Cases Deaths Actives
Europe 247,345,503 2,025,842 2,372,719
N A 125,396,138 1,618,507 2,928,460
Asia 214,987,962 1,539,650 13,873,519
S A 68,179,353 1,351,691 463,047
Africa 12,804,290 258,623 466,976
Oceania 13,942,726 26,500 126,720
World 682,656,693 6,820,828 20,231,441

Countries with Active Cases

Country Cases Deaths Recoveries Actives
USA 105,979,978+ 1,151,778+ 103,615,425+ 1,212,775-
India 44,696,984+ 530,808+ 44,159,617+ 6,559+
France 39,704,749 165,377 39,456,854- 82,518+
Germany 38,306,781+ 169,802+ 37,967,300+ 169,679-
Brazil 37,145,514 699,634 36,249,161 196,719
Japan 33,385,591+ 73,562+ 21,711,030+ 11,600,999+
S. Korea 30,714,976+ 34,178+ 30,509,810+ 170,988+
Italy 25,651,205 188,750 25,320,467 141,988
UK 24,423,396 208,458 24,162,681+ 52,257-
Russia 22,525,882+ 396,899+ 21,873,518+ 255,465-
Turkey 17,042,722 101,492 N/A N/A
Spain 13,783,163 119,872 13,632,061 31,230
Vietnam 11,527,146 43,186 10,614,857 869,103
Australia 11,277,613 19,690 11,237,319 20,604
Taiwan 10,239,629+ 18,823+ 10,036,633+ 184,173-
Argentina 10,044,957 130,472 9,913,653+ 832-
Netherlands 8,605,996 22,992 8,567,023+ 15,981-
Iran 7,580,858+ 145,091+ 7,342,490+ 93,277+
Mexico 7,511,450 333,327 6,745,940 432,183
Indonesia 6,741,588 160,975 6,576,953 3,660
Poland 6,477,600+ 119,170+ 5,335,940 1,022,490+
Colombia 6,361,293 142,652 6,184,855 33,786
Austria 6,003,506+ 22,043 5,939,836+ 41,627-
Greece 5,910,103 36,372 5,862,318+ 11,413-
Portugal 5,571,882 26,302 5,540,406 5,174
Ukraine 5,427,360 111,457 5,277,982 37,921
Chile 5,233,460 64,407 5,159,738 9,315
Malaysia 5,047,040+ 36,972+ 5,000,411+ 9,657+
Israel 4,809,419 12,370 4,781,252 15,797
Belgium 4,757,448 33,885 4,677,069+ 46,494-
Thailand 4,728,482+ 33,929+ 4,692,636 1,917+
Czechia 4,626,114 42,565 4,575,766 7,783
Canada 4,618,059+ 51,800+ 4,531,480+ 34,779+
Peru 4,489,785+ 219,663+ 4,267,271+ 2,851+
Switzerland 4,394,296 14,452 4,373,995 5,849
Philippines 4,079,056 66,278 4,003,555 9,223
South Africa 4,069,579 102,595 3,912,506 54,478
Romania 3,359,839+ 67,821+ 3,272,521- 19,497+
Denmark 3,176,878 8,338 3,167,216- 1,324+
Hong Kong 2,884,298 13,472 2,867,553 3,273
Sweden 2,700,231 23,785 2,673,703+ 2,743-
Serbia 2,509,089 17,932 2,476,449- 14,708+
Iraq 2,465,545 25,375 2,439,497 673
New Zealand 2,250,952 3,966 2,237,216 9,770
Singapore 2,234,996 1,722 2,149,583 83,691
Hungary 2,197,820 48,775 2,144,382 4,663
Bangladesh 2,037,947 29,445 1,998,448 10,054
Slovakia 1,864,741+ 21,069+ 1,842,524+ 1,148-
Georgia 1,830,021 16,986 1,776,548 36,487
Jordan 1,746,997 14,122 1,731,007 1,868
Ireland 1,705,295 8,719 1,694,319+ 2,257-
Pakistan 1,578,464+ 30,645 1,538,689 9,130+
Norway 1,480,136+ 5,213 1,474,022+ 901+
Finland 1,464,294 8,990 1,453,518+ 1,786-
Kazakhstan 1,409,220 13,847 1,383,020 12,353
Slovenia 1,335,704 7,088 1,322,920 5,696
Lithuania 1,311,432+ 9,617+ 1,295,583+ 6,232+
Bulgaria 1,298,608+ 38,240+ 1,257,353+ 3,015+
Morocco 1,272,585 16,296 1,256,151 138
Croatia 1,270,075 18,025 1,251,558 492
Guatemala 1,241,022+ 20,183 1,219,861+ 978-
Lebanon 1,233,817 10,856 1,087,587 135,374
Costa Rica 1,214,651 9,266 860,711 344,674
Bolivia 1,195,231+ 22,372+ 1,162,799+ 10,060-
Tunisia 1,151,333 29,345 N/A N/A
Cuba 1,112,724 8,530 1,104,098 96
Ecuador 1,057,608 36,015 1,021,106 487
UAE 1,055,334+ 2,349 1,037,032+ 15,953+
Uruguay 1,035,046 7,619 1,026,854 573
Panama 1,032,939+ 8,612+ 1,023,439+ 888+
Mongolia 1,007,907 2,179 1,005,718 10
Nepal 1,001,185 12,020 989,147 18
Belarus 994,037 7,118 985,592 1,327
Latvia 976,535+ 6,262+ 969,913+ 360-
Saudi Arabia 831,502 9,624 817,957 3,921
Azerbaijan 829,271 10,153 818,795 323
Paraguay 808,643 19,881 N/A N/A
Bahrain 714,650 1,557 710,265 2,828
Sri Lanka 672,054 16,832 655,212 10
Kuwait 664,402 2,570 660,237 1,595
Dominican Republic 660,848 4,384 644,785 11,679
Cyprus 653,667 1,341 647,752 4,574
Myanmar 633,992 19,490 614,480 22
Palestine 621,008 5,404 615,445 159
Estonia 615,735 2,949 524,990 87,796
Moldova 613,974 12,025 504,142 97,807
Venezuela 552,273+ 5,854 546,135+ 284
Egypt 515,792 24,613 442,182 48,997
Libya 507,206 6,437 500,764 5
China 503,302 5,272 379,053 118,977
Ethiopia 500,293 7,572 487,431 5,290
Qatar 496,802 688 495,302 812
Réunion 486,588 921 418,572 67,095
Honduras 472,340 11,111 N/A N/A
Armenia 447,778 8,733 435,162 3,883
Bosnia and Herzegovina 401,914 16,289 379,084 6,541
Oman 399,449 4,628 384,669 10,152
North Macedonia 347,182 9,664 337,068 450
Zambia 343,415 4,057 339,164 194
Kenya 342,943 5,688 337,225 30
Albania 334,559 3,600 329,281 1,678
Botswana 329,769 2,801 326,962 6
Luxembourg 297,757 1,133 288,991 7,633
Montenegro 289,375 2,809 285,940 626
Brunei 280,790 225 243,601 36,964
Algeria 271,549 6,881 182,893 81,775
Nigeria 266,641 3,155 259,938 3,548
Zimbabwe 264,391 5,672 258,184 535
Uzbekistan 251,430 1,637 241,486 8,307
Mozambique 233,214 2,242 228,805 2,167
Martinique 229,807 1,098 N/A N/A
Laos 218,028+ 758 N/A N/A
Afghanistan 209,807 7,896 191,787 10,124
Iceland 209,168 229 N/A N/A
Kyrgyzstan 206,740 2,991 196,406 7,343
Guadeloupe 201,886 1,010 N/A N/A
El Salvador 201,785 4,230 179,410 18,145
Trinidad and Tobago 190,285 4,361 185,714 210
Maldives 185,755+ 311 163,687 21,757+
Ghana 171,288 1,462 169,781 45
Namibia 171,208 4,090 166,776 342
Uganda 170,558 3,630 100,431 66,497
Jamaica 154,471+ 3,521+ 102,555+ 48,395+
Cambodia 138,721 3,056 135,663 2
Rwanda 133,194 1,468 131,647 79
Cameroon 124,605 1,966 122,434 205
Malta 117,749 829 116,248 672
Barbados 106,798 579 106,211 8
Angola 105,298 1,933 103,342 23
Channel Islands 101,530 228 101,161 141
French Guiana 98,041 420 11,254 86,367
DRC 95,815 1,464 84,379 9,972
Senegal 88,933 1,971 86,947 15
Malawi 88,707 2,686 85,583 438
Ivory Coast 88,295+ 834 87,440 21+
Suriname 82,467 1,404 N/A N/A
New Caledonia 79,896 314 79,567 15
French Polynesia 78,077 649 N/A N/A
Eswatini 74,323 1,425 72,824 74
Guyana 73,105 1,298 71,791 16
Belize 70,782 688 70,085 9
Fiji 68,904 883 67,012 1,009
Madagascar 67,971 1,424 66,520 27
Sudan 63,853 5,023 58,572 258
Mauritania 63,668 997 62,441 230
Cabo Verde 63,252 413 62,781 58
Bhutan 62,637 21 61,564 1,052
Burundi 53,661 38 53,569 54
Seychelles 50,937 172 50,750 15
Gabon 48,981 306 48,674 1
Andorra 47,898 165 47,563 170
Papua New Guinea 46,826 670 43,982 2,174
Curaçao 45,986 295 44,720 971
Aruba 44,082 236 42,438 1,408
Tanzania 42,927 846 N/A N/A
Mayotte 42,004 188 N/A N/A
Mauritius 41,796 1,043 40,080 673
Togo 39,425 290 39,117 18
Guinea 38,267 467 37,757 43
Isle of Man 38,008 116 N/A N/A
Bahamas 37,491 833 36,366 292
Lesotho 34,790 723 25,980 8,087
Faeroe Islands 34,658 28 N/A N/A
Haiti 34,202 860 33,052 290
Mali 33,094 743 32,246 105
Cayman Islands 31,472 37 8,553 22,882
Saint Lucia 30,004 409 29,095 500
Benin 27,999 163 27,830 6
Somalia 27,324 1,361 13,182 12,781
Congo 25,375 386 24,006 983
Solomon Islands 24,575 153 N/A N/A
Micronesia 24,195 63 N/A N/A
San Marino 23,747+ 123+ 23,574+ 50+
Timor-Leste 23,419 138 23,102 179
Burkina Faso 22,056 396 21,596 64
Liechtenstein 21,434 89 21,339 6
Gibraltar 20,462 111 16,579 3,772
Grenada 19,680 238 19,358 84
Bermuda 18,836 161 18,669 6
Nicaragua 18,491 225 4,225 14,041
South Sudan 18,368 138 18,115 115
Tajikistan 17,786 125 17,264 397
Equatorial Guinea 17,229 183 16,907 139
Tonga 16,812 13 15,638 1,161
Samoa 16,673+ 31+ 1,605 15,037+
Monaco 16,129 67 15,992 70
Dominica 15,760 74 15,673 13
Marshall Islands 15,723 17 15,621 85
Djibouti 15,690 189 15,427 74
CAR 15,368 113 15,200 55
Gambia 12,598 372 12,189 37
Saint Martin 12,271 63 1,399 10,809
Vanuatu 12,014 14 11,976 24
Greenland 11,971 21 2,761 9,189
Yemen 11,945 2,159 9,124 662
Caribbean Netherlands 11,682 38 10,476 1,168
Sint Maarten 11,023 91 10,905 27
Niger 9,931 312 8,890 729
St. Vincent Grenadines 9,593 124 9,466 3
Antigua and Barbuda 9,106 146 8,954 6
Comoros 9,048 161 8,838 49
Guinea-Bissau 8,960 176 8,660 124
Liberia 8,090 295 7,783 12
Sierra Leone 7,760 126 N/A N/A
Chad 7,685+ 194 4,874 2,617+
British Virgin Islands 7,305 64 N/A N/A
Cook Islands 7,033 2 7,030 1
Turks and Caicos 6,561 38 6,504 19
Sao Tome and Principe 6,296 77 6,204 15
Palau 5,995 9 5,985 1
St. Barth 5,441 6 N/A N/A
Nauru 5,393 1 5,347 45
Kiribati 5,014 18 2,703 2,293
Anguilla 3,904 12 3,879 13
Macao 3,514 121 3,392 1
Saint Pierre Miquelon 3,452 2 2,449 1,001
Wallis and Futuna 3,427 7 438 2,982
Tuvalu 2,805 0 0 2,805
Saint Helena 2,166 0 2 2,164
Montserrat 1,403 8 1,376 19
Niue 794 0 793 1
Tokelau 5 0 0 5
Total: 682,656,693 6,820,828 655,604,424 20,231,441

Countries with no active cases: 2

Country Cases Deaths Rcvrd
Falkland Islands 1,930 0 1,930
Vatican City 29 0 29
2 Total: 1,959 0 1,959

Countries with all cases rcvrd: 5

Country Cases Deaths Rcvrd
DPRK 4,772,813 74 4,772,739
Eritrea 10,189 103 10,086
Saint Kitts and Nevis 6,597 48 6,549
Syria 57,478 3,164 54,314
Western Sahara 10 1 9
5 Total: 4,847,087 3,390 4,843,697

International Conveyances: 2

Class Cases Deaths Rcvrd
Diamond Princess 712 13 699
MS Zaandam 9 2 7
2 Total: 721 15 706
submitted by IIWIIM8 to nCoV [link] [comments]

2023.03.21 12:23 khovanskilouisa 27 years old friendly girl

I am a fitness trainer by profession and love movies, novels, cooking and calisthenics. I am bacially looking for decent people who can carry the conversations since i am so bored now.
submitted by khovanskilouisa to InternetFriends [link] [comments]

2023.03.21 12:01 nottrz Beyond level 50: specializations paths

Hi, I just wanted to share this idea, as a level 37 player.

What if after level 50 (or maybe even 40) each trainer can start to specialize in a specific type, like Fire or Ghost?
For example, from level 40/50 you can choose a specific type Path and do specific research/activities for this.
So you can be Level 50 with Fire Path: 7 and Dark Path: 15. This would make each trainer really different and personal.
A concrete example could be this (with random ideas):
- you have 20 "degrees" for each Path.
- at degree 4: higher chance of XL candies for that type, poppins last double, etc.
- at degree 8: +x% HP for that type, when a pokemon faints in a battle (gym, raids, team rocket, etc.) it goes down to half the health
- at degree 12: +x% defense for that type, enemy super-effective charged attacks are a little less effective
- at degree 16: +x% attach for that type, your super-effective charged attacks are a little more effective
- at degree 20: evolve pokemons up to level 55, increased mega evolution duration or you can mega two mons of that kind at a time
I tried to come up with slightly new ideas, but it could also be: mons of that type spawn more often, they spawn at higher levels in the wild, shiny are more frequent, more stardust from that type, incense can rarely spawn legendaries with that type (for degree 20 only).

Can you specialize in all the types? Maybe, I'm not sure about this. Maybe 3 or 5 Paths as a maximum? And you can drop a Path to start a new one if you change your mind.
Of course there are a ton of details to be defined, for example: how do you progress? Every 1M XP you get a "Path point" to spend where you like? Or you get "Fire points" only from "Fire activities" or "Fire Special Research"? But here I just wanted to hear what you think about the idea per se.
What about a Dragon, Fire, Ice trainer? Or a Water, Dark, Psychic one?

What do you think?
submitted by nottrz to TheSilphRoad [link] [comments]

2023.03.21 11:54 DeadFishCRO [H] Humble bundle/ Fanatical leftovers [W] Game offers, paypal (EU)

My rep page:

I have
FPS games
rts games
action games
Specific things from my steam wishlist
submitted by DeadFishCRO to indiegameswap [link] [comments]

2023.03.21 11:46 ARKFNS LF ZARUDE & HOOPA

LF ZARUDE & HOOPA submitted by ARKFNS to PokemonHome [link] [comments]

2023.03.21 11:43 DeadFishCRO [H] Humble bundle/ Fanatical leftovers [W] Game offers, paypal (EU)

I have
FPS games
rts games
action games
Specific things from my steam wishlist
submitted by DeadFishCRO to GameTrade [link] [comments]

2023.03.21 11:07 Edward-Oakley The other two chapters of my submission

Chapter Three: Too Big to Fail?
Amelia and Noele raced towards Dunwich at breakneck speeds and arrived only minutes after their departure from Longbarrow.
Amelia put down Noele, who looked a little green in her face. At least she hadn’t started to scream. Some adventures did that, even A-ranks. Especially A-ranks.
As they walked through the gate a man in the coat of arms of Dunwich stepped forth, seemingly a city guard. Instead of a sword he carried a clipboard.
“Halt. For entreance you first need to pay headtax. Three copper per person.”
Amelia fished her adventurers badge out of her pocket and showed it the guardsman. “No we don’t. We are members of the adventurers guild:”
The guard shook his head. “Yeah, new law from city hall. Adventurers are no longer exempt from head tax. In fact, have you fought any monsters in the wilds?”
Noele glanced at Amelia. “I think you might have clipped a griffin on the way here.”
The guard nodded and scribbeled something down on his clipboard. “That means we have to add a small tax for that. All ressources around the city, including monsters, belong to the city after all.”
“But we didn’t even kill it.”, exclaimed Noele.
“Ah. That adds a charge animal cruelty. There is a fine for that.” The guard added another note to his clipboard. “Also, did you happen to travel on the road?”
Amelia thought about that for a moment. She had mostly stuck to low jumps just over the foliage, but they had landed on the street occassionally.
“Yeah, briefly.”
“Ah, bad news then. That road is privatly owned now, so that adds a small
Amelia rolled her eyes at this insanity. “All of these taxes and fines, are these recent additions? Proposed by some oversized lizard in a suit?”
“You mean Mr. Goldentooth? Yes, that oversized lizard has spearheaded a great deal of reforms. Has even taken office in the city hall. By the way, lizard-calling is a serious misdemeanor. There is a fine for that.”
“But you just called him a lizard too?
“Have I?”, asked the guard.
“Alright, how about you let us through and I won’t tell anybody.”
The guard gave Amelia a stern look.”Are you attempting to blackmail a member of the city watch?”
“If that is was it takes for you to let us through that blasted gate, then yes.”, Amelia said flatly.
The watchman frowned at her. “There is a fine for that. Five silver.”
Amelia sighed. “All of this is ridiculous.”
“You see, Miss. I am just doing my job here. If you have problems with the city’s tax or law code, then you have to file a complaint at the city hall and not annoy overworked guards.”
Amelia gave the guard a flat look. “And how do we logde a complaint at your city hall, when you don’t let us in?
The guard blinked “Hm. I guess I see your point.”
“So you let us in? We just want to logde a complaint.”
“But you haven’t paid your headtax, your adventuring tax, the street toll and the fines for animal cruelty and lizard-calling . I can’t let you through this gate like this.”
Noele grasped her coinpurse in resignation: “How much is it in total then?”
“Altogether that would be 16 gold and 3 silver coins. Per person, of course. Though I would advice to make it an even 20 gold pieces by purchasing the premium city pass. That’s a real bargain by the way, and would allow you to skip the wait time and fast track the organisational stuff.”
Amelia wasn’t from this world and had already amassed a small fortune. The bounty for the Miststorm riders alone would pay the fees and fines for both of them more than 50 times over. Still she balked at the price. This was her retirement fund after all. She also wouldn’t force her student to pay for her. That would be unbecoming of her, as she was Noele’s mentor.
She gave the golden-eyed fool one last glance. For just a moment she thought about giving him the Leander-treatment and literally bash some sense in that guys head. Instead she did the mature and adult thing and picked Noele by her belt. Noele groaned. She knew what would happen. Amelia flexed her calves and handily leaped over the 20 meter wall.
The guard blinked in surprise for a moment. Then he yelled: “You are in breach of the airborne transportation act! THERE. IS. A. FINE. FOR. THAT!”
Business was doing good. No, even better. Business was doing great. Gildroy gazed fondly at the enormous crates and chests, all filled with beautifully shining gold.
There was a sudden crashing sound, like wood breaking. Gildroy instantly stood up. Had one of the unpaid interns dropped a chest with money again?
He sprinted from the vault into the main room. There he saw Amelia and Noele, standing atop the splintered door.
“Ahem. Hello. The door was mahagony. Kinda pricy to replace. Please use the doornob the next time.”, he scolded
Amelia had an angry scowl on her face. “You owe me two silver and a new window.
Oh. Gildroy had already forgotten about that. Two pieces of silver.
“Oh. I forgot. My bad.”, said Gildroy. He drew his purse and pulled out a few coins. “Here you go:”
Amelia pocketed the money. “Also you are going to stop this insanity you have going on here. Give everyone their money back and I’ll let you live:”
Gildroy blinked in surprise. “You can’t be sirious, right?”
Amelia put a hand on her sword. “I am.”
Gildroy shook his head.”Never.”
Amelia smiled. “I had hoped for that. I wanted to punch you inyour lizard-visage since I met you.”
Gildroy scowled, What a barbarian.
Noele put a hand on her master’s shoulder. “Please let me have this fight. You told me, that only by challenging myself further I can grow truly strong.”
Amelia rolled her eyes. “Alright. He’s yours. Maybe this fight pushes you to S-rank.”
Gildroy shook his head. Such gall, but Norah had been much the same.
“Well, I did promise a spar.”, he said, as he armed himself with a purse filled with platinum coins.
[Nobleflame Armor]”
Golden flames coated Norah, forming into a brestplate. Very fashionable, but gold was always fashinable.
Gildroy countered with his own armor skill[ Armor of Gold] . As if carried by invible hands coins floated from the vault towards the drakling, on whom they arranged themselves like a secondary set of scales.
“Go on, you have the first strike”, he said as he picked a platinum coin from his purse.
And strike she did. Noele teleported behind him and swung her sword at him.
[Elegant Noble Slash] and [Unending Dauntless Fury]” she yelled, as she descendet into a flurry of blows.
Gildroy flicked a platinum coin. It disappeard and time slowed down to a crawl. He walked out of her attack, then the flow of time resumed.
Noele stared at the empty spot she hit repeatedly. “How? She muttered.”
“Would you kindly hurry up with your attack?”, asked Gildroy a little giddy. These fights were always fun! “[Time is Money], after all.”
[Unending Dauntless Fury] “
[Time is Money]
Noele hit nothing again.
“Noele, he can’t attack while he stops time.”, Amelia told her student.
“Besides, it is more of a potent time-slow. A hard hitting area-of-effect attack will still hit”.
Gildroy scowled at her. “Hey, the best part of any fight is to figure out how the enemie’s skills work. How will she learn anything if you take that away from her.”
Noele tried to go for a cheap shot while he talked. A quick flick of a coin brought Gildroy to safety.
“Well, now it is time for me to strike back, it would seem.”
Gildroy barreled into her. Noele stood her ground, defending with her sword. “[Titans’s Strength]”, she yelled.
Gildroy pushed back with his own strength skill. “[Gold is Strength]”, he barked. For a moment they seemed equally matched, claw against sword, but then Gildroy gained the upper hand. An A-ranked skill just couldn’t compete with an S-ranked skill.
Noele was launched through the air and impacted the wall. Gildroy flicked another platinum and time slowed for him. He dashed towards her and delivered a crushing blow just as the time-slow ended. Noele was thrown back again, this time through the wall and into the main plaza of Dunwich.
Noele quickly found back to er feet. “Big area-of-effect spells, huh? For that I have something. [Golrious Noble Slash]
All of a sudden her sword increased in size manyfold, and she swung it a Gildroy with ferocity.
Gildroy knew, he could not dodge this one with his time-slow, but tried anyways. His golden armor cracked under the barrage of blows and he flew back, towards a crowd of people.
Amelia moved with extreme speed and dragged multiple peole out of the line of fire. Luckily, because far too many people here had purchase [Life Insurance] from him. Should they come to harm…. he’d be ruined.
Oh dear. If he took another hit like that he’d lose his status as an hexillionaire.
Gildroy felt his control over his customers slipping. Quickly he summond up a bit of [Investor]-Widom to once again tighten his grip: ”People, the market has just taken a hit. That is normal. That just happens. Your savings are not in danger, in fact with the stocks low right now is the best time to invest.”
“That skill surely is something. Good, almost S-rank”, Gildroy praised.
“It would be a same if some one would steal it: [Buyout]: Purchase the skill Elegant Noble Slash.” The drakling burned hundreds of platinum coins activating that skill.
A system message apperared in front of Noele’s eyes
[Gildroy Goldentooth has acquired the skill Noble Slash]
Noele’s jaw went slack. Her sword of light and flames disappeared and reappeared in Gildroys hands.
“Beautiful skill”, Gildroy said with a shit-eating grin. “And just my color.”
And with that he started to whail on Noele. She tried to dodge his clumsy swings, but at some point one hit. Her armor of flames buckled under the blows, but still held strong.
“What can I still do?”, Noele screamed in panic. “I don’t have my skill anymore. I can’t do this?”
Amelia snorted. “You lost one skill. You still have the rest. Change them. Combine them. Make them better. Make them yours.”
“Make them mine”; Noele whipered. She close her eyes. “Make them better like with my elegant noble slash.”
When she opened her eyes again, Gildroy saw that ther gaze no longer contained fear, only cold determination.
Gildroy noted how her stance and entire aura shifted.
And Noele unleashed her newest skill
[Unending Dauntless Grand Blaze]”, Noele screamed.
She launched a great fireball and then dozens more.
The first fireball Gildroy batted away with his sword of golden light.
The second fireball he doged.
The third fireball hit Gildroy but was blocked by his armor.
The seventh fireball broke his [Armor of Gold]
And Gildroy screamed like a feral animal.
And the barrage continued for minutes.
Gildroy was of course unhurt by the spell. Burning a dragon? About as sound a strategy as drowning a fish or killing a bird by tossing it down a mountain.
No, what hurt him was the collateral damage! Noele had hit not only him but also multiple buildings with her fireballs, absolutely demolishing them. Buildings he owned! Luckily her teacher had stepped in and carried the people still inside them to safety. But still…. so much money lost.
In his fury he roared. Using the smoke as cover he dashed toward Noele, who was obviously exhausted. She failed to even use her fancy teleportation spell, as Gildroy grabbed her by the neck. He then slammed her headfirst into the pavement. Once, twice. Then he tossed her away, through one of still standing walls.
Gildroy glanced on the burned ruin in front of him. He took a deep breath. This wasn’t as bad as it looked, he knew that. The tenants had been tardy on their morgage-payments anyhow.
He’d just demand the full repayment of the damages from the tenants and then he would also cash in the insurance. Then he would use that money to rebuild. He would gentrify the entire block and then he’d demand double, no triple the original price.
He saw how Noele fought to stand back up. She even picked a potion out from her pocket and downed it. Foolish. The fight was over, and even a little bit of replenished magic wouldn’t change anything.
“Girl, stop it. You did well, very well, but you lost.”
Instead of listening to Gildroy’s words, the girl went for one last, all out attack. Silly. Gildroy pulled out another platinum coin from his pouch, at least tried to.
Gildroy glanced downward. While he hadn’t been wounded by the barrage of fireballs, it had ripped the pouch of coins from his belt. And without platinum coins there was no time slow. No protection.
He felt a deep, stinging pain. He tasted iron on his gums.
The blade was lodged deeply into his chest, piercing his heart and his lungs.
“Oh.”, Gildroy weezed.
“Well done”, he said with his last bit of air.
Noele ripped the sword out of his body and Gildroy fell over.
And in these last few moments of his life Gildroy heard something.
The call of an ancient god of death. Of decay. Of oblivion.
He heard the call of the void.
Gildroy opened his eyes and saw a broken world. Enormous rocks flew about, one such he was standing on. Stars glittered in the far darkness of this terrible place.
A towering mass of dark purple flesh with hundred of tentacles sprawled over several such floating isles. The enormous body was mostly covered in shadows, yet the few glances were enough to cause Gildroy a massive headache and burnt themselves into his memories and left a marks that would last for the rest of his existance.
He tried not to look at the massive creature, but that was difficult as it so big, that it was both to the front, the left and the right of Gildroy.
“Your mortal flesh is failing you.”, the eldritch beast rumbled from a thousand mouths. “Swear yourself to my cause and you will be saved! You will be granted unlimited power, an...”
“No thanks”
Hundreds of eyes blinked in surprise.
“You are aware, that you are dying?”
Gildroy took a look a look of his blood- and sootstained suit. The shirt had been his last and had been made from the silk of a king tarantula. Very pricey and very difficult to clean. Probably ruined for good. Oh well, sometimes you incur unforseen losses.
“I want you to know two very basic things about me, my dear: First of all, my soul is not for sale. At least not for a vague promise of unlimited power. No, if I were to put a price on my soul, it would be hard cash only.”
“Secondly” Gildroy’s lips drew back into a manic smile. “I always plan ahead. Far ahead.”
His grin bloomed into a full on mad laugh.
“My death was always part of the plan.”
Noele stood victorous. She had beaten an S-ranked threat, alone and almost witthout any help from her master. Did that mean she was an S-rank adventurer now?
Then [Dance with Death] stopped it’s effect, recognizing that her fight was over. Tiredness slammed into her body like the mallet of a yeti. She fell to her knees, then flat to the ground.
She used the lat bit of her strength and raised her head and looked at Amelia. Goodness, she was tired. She expected a proud nod, or even a few kind words from her master. Yet Amelia’s gaze was hard, and her body tense, as she looked at the cooling corpse of Gildroy. Slowly her mentor drew her sword.
Then Noele heard a sound. The sound of metal against cobblestone. Then another plink.
Then another.
And another.
And another.
Noele saw how a gold coin fell down from somewhere up in the sky. And then a silver coin, and some platinum after that. Then Noele saw a message from the world system.
[Gildroy Goldentooth used the skill: Life Insurance]
The rain of coins picked up, gold coins falling in an endless cascade from the skies. A small hill was already forming around the body.
Ameila took a single step, crossing the entire distance to her pupil and lifted her up. Another leap took them to the roof of one of the undamaged buildings, where she laid down Noele.
Meanwhile the entrance to the city hall was entombed by an avalance of silver, the fires in the burning ruins were buried in gold, drowning the fires.
On top of this mountain of treasures now stood a figure wreathed in golden scales and golden wings, his eyes burning with the blue flame of undeath.
“You fools!”, Gildroy roard. “Do you think I didn’t buy shares in that liches phylactery?”
Noele eyes burned and not only from the smoke lingering in the area. So she had failed… not only herself but also her sister.
“Master, shouldn’t you stop him? Please, I am too weak.” Noele hated how feeble and pathetic her voice sounded.
“Not yet. The rain hasn’t stopped yet, and that lizard did a lot of damage,”, Amelia said while crouching down next to her. “You did well, though this opponent is frankly above you.”
With that she one again leaped and landed in front of the ecstatic drakling.
“Ha! You cannot face me! Nobody can! I am the richest dragon to ever walk Vacuos!”, Gildroy bellowed. “[Buyout]”, he barked. “System: Kill Amelia.
Nothing happened. Gildroy looked at the System Message in front of him and his eyes bulged.
“How much does that cost me? That many zeros?”
“Alright.”, Gildroy exclaimed. “System: Stun Amelia:
Once again nothing happened, aside from a new message appearing.
“Still that much. Oh dear.” Gildroy suddenly sobered up.
“You are quite strong, aren’t you?”, he feebly asked.
“Yeah. Kinda.” Amelia glanced up. The golden rain slowly let up. There must be tens of millions of coins laying about.
“Well. I seem to have micalculated. Is it too late to apologize? Forgive and forget?”
One last platinum coin fell from the sky and skidded over a mountain of gold.
“Too late.”, Amelia said, and her blade descended.
There we are. 10 minutes before the deadline. Not even close.
Now time for a nap. Running on caffeine and 2 hourse of sleep. Who could have known that writing takes time and effort.
Oh, also a little prologe. Noele fell down the roog, knocked her head really bad. Forgot her new skill combo. Such a klutz.
submitted by Edward-Oakley to AmeliaTLZHNovel [link] [comments]

2023.03.21 09:33 jokzjbihsv 😘👉👌 IF YOU TAP YOU WILL CUM 🍆💦




Harry Potter was having a great day. The Yule Ball had just been announced and girls were getting excited throughout the Great Hall. He could see all the girls eager to attend the Ball and using any means necessary to do so.
Walking down the entrance hall, a 7th-year Ravenclaw came up to talk to him. She had a cute body and nice sized breasts; which were clearly on display. She said: “Hey Harry”. Harry, never having seen her before knew the only reason she was talking with him was that she wanted to attend the Ball with the Champion of Hogwarts. “How can I help you?” asked Harry. “Will you come to the Yule Ball with me?” she asked; lowering her shirt giving him a better view of that awesome cleavage. Knowing that she would do whatever he wanted to attend the Ball, he knew that the coming weeks would be very beneficial to him and he could use it to his advantage. It had always been his dream to fuck all the girls in his year and in years above him (though he wouldn’t mind fucking Ginny Weasley’s lovely ass) in Hogwarts ever since he had first masturbated to the thoughts of fucking his best friend Hermione Granger last year.
He thought quickly and replied:”I will have to test you first”. “Sure”, she replied: ”I can pass any test”. The test he had in mind was going to ensure that his dream came true. He could masturbate for a long time and had used one of his cousin’s special “dolls” to fuck/masturbate and knew that he could last a long time before cumming. He told her: ”I want to fuck you”. “That would be my pleasure” replied the girl; knowing that fucking the Boy-Who-Lived would make her famous. “If I cum before you, I will take you to the Ball; BUT if I cum after you, you have to do what I say for the rest of your time at Hogwarts.” “Of course” replied the girl falling into the myth that girls never come before teenaged boys. “By the way, my name is Natasha” informed the girl. “Natasha, thanks for doing what I say for the next 6 months” replied Harry, confidant in his abilities. Natasha, looked a bit frightened, but ignored it and asked:” So when do you want to start the test?” “Right now” replied harry and lead her towards the Room of Requirement. Walking in from of the wall 3 times, thinking of a room to have sex, the door opened. It had a big king-size bed in the middle with various closets containing different sex-toys. Throwing her onto the bed, Harry started kissing her passionately. She kissed with equal fervor and quickly started removing his pants and underwear. Finishing this, what she saw there; almost made her faint and all thoughts of passing this test were gone from her mind. What Harry had not informed her that he was extremely gifted down there. His soft dick by itself was 9 inches; which was slowly rising up as he became excited. As she kept on stroking him, he rose to a full length 14 inches. Edging his hand towards her pussy, he saw that she had become very wet on seeing his monster cock. Immediately flipping her on her back, Harry entered her moist pussy. She shrieked loudly as he was 3 inches wide and could barely enter her. Slowly, he kept pushing and when 8 inches of his dick were inside her, he started fucking her. Natasha’s eyes rolled up and she started moaning incoherently. Feeling that she was not a virgin enraged Harry a bit as he had just lost his virginity to her; and he started fucking here with deep long strokes. After 4-5 strokes, he could feel her cumming. Her pussy had a vice-like grip on his cock and she came, squirting all over his cock and almost lost consciousness. Knowing that she had not passed her test, and was going to become his slave for the next 6 months, it was a consolation for her that she was going to be fucked like no other girl in Hogwarts, She was wrong. Harry, after losing the grip from her pussy, continued fucking her. She kept moaning:”Fuck me, fuck me, I am your whore now!!” Changing positions, Harry lay down on his back and told her to ride him. This way he could play with her lovely breasts while she rode his monster. He took both breasts in his hands and squeezed them hard. Her nipples were rock-hard and he bit on them, earning another moan. Playing with her nipples, he squeezed one of them and took the other one in his mouth. Overcome with pleasure she came again and blacked out for a couple of minutes. When she came around, she saw that they had changes positions again, and Harry was behind her lubing her ass. Knowing what was coming, she screamed when Harry pushed his whole cock into her ass. She had only allowed 1 guy to enter her there as he was pretty small with 4 inches of cock and he was her 1st boyfriend. When Harry’s 14 inches entered her, she thought that she was going to be pierced into two. She kept screaming as Harry fucked her like a machine for another 10 minutes. By the time harry was ready to try another way to fuck her, Natasha had already cum 4 times as was passed out. “Enervate” said Harry, pointing his wand at her. She came around immediately. Lifting her up, harry placed her as if she was hanging from her belly on the couch. Moving behind her, Harry started pounding her pussy again. “Stop please Harry, Stop please!” Natasha started screaming. Not paying any attention to her, Harry kept fucking her until he was ready to cum. Feeling his cum build up, Harry pushed his cock into her hole for 3-4 times and finally came; pouring all his cum directly into her hole. Her pussy was couldn’t take it anymore and she came again; shouting his name and fell unconscious to the ground.
Looking at her, Harry was extremely satisfied. Not only had he outlasted one of the more experienced 7th years, he had made her cum lots of times. He had no doubt that she would be in no position to walk for the next few days. Smiling, Harry left her on the floor; casting a curse on her that ensured that she would not break her promise and went to the Great Hall; waiting for the next girl to ask him out.
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submitted by jokzjbihsv to n7oix82l2w [link] [comments]

2023.03.21 09:31 anepsjqmfu 😘👉👌 IF YOU TAP YOU WILL CUM 🍆💦




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Anonymous readerReport<\/a> <\/span><\/h4>\n
2014-07-29 18:46:44<\/div>\n
once again we get left hanging by a wannabe hack that can't finish a simple story WHAT A WASTE OF TIME.<\/div>\n

Anonymous readerReport<\/a> <\/span><\/h4>\n
2014-01-27 05:03:30<\/div>\n
Great story loved the detail<\/div>\n

anonymous readerReport<\/a> <\/span><\/h4>\n
2011-07-29 13:28:14<\/div>\n
if this is your first ORIGINAL story does that mean the other one is STOLEN?<\/div>\n

Anonymous readerReport<\/a> <\/span><\/h4>\n
2010-03-22 04:22:33<\/div>\n
You need to be more descriptive. Describe the characters more, and put more detail into the sex. it was kind of unsatisfying because you had a relativley long intro but a short sex scene. if you put more time into it, your stories could be good.<\/div>\n
\n"],"current":0,"nb_page":1};«1»Anonymous readerReport
2014-07-29 18:46:44
once again we get left hanging by a wannabe hack that can't finish a simple story WHAT A WASTE OF TIME.
Anonymous readerReport
2014-01-27 05:03:30
Great story loved the detail
anonymous readerReport
2011-07-29 13:28:14
if this is your first ORIGINAL story does that mean the other one is STOLEN?
Anonymous readerReport
2010-03-22 04:22:33
You need to be more descriptive. Describe the characters more, and put more detail into the sex. it was kind of unsatisfying because you had a relativley long intro but a short sex scene. if you put more time into it, your stories could be good.
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2023.03.21 09:31 jokzjbihsv 😘👉👌 IF YOU TAP YOU WILL CUM 🍆💦




My jaw cracked as it dropped, never before had I been this shocked and horrified. Natalia remained by my side as Sasha walked across the room to stand behind the form hanging from the ceiling.
“Ashley.” I whispered. My sister hung from the ceiling by a pair of silver handcuffs strung over a large hook screwed into the concrete. A thin streak of dried blood ran from the corner of her mouth. Her toes were about an inch from the ground and she seemed either asleep or unconscious, her naked body hanging limply.
Sasha reached out and ran a hand up my sister’s hard stomach, between her large breasts and caressed her face. She said something in what I was now assuming was Russian in my direction and Natalia translated.
“She says your sister is very beautiful, you are a lucky boy.” I continued to gaze at Ashley; my chest felt like it was trying to explode from the inside out. What had I gotten her into? This was college for crying out loud, these were supposed to be some of our best years, this shit wasn’t supposed to happen! I could feel hot tears running down my face as I struggled to break whatever restrained my hands. Sasha spoke again, her hands sliding back down and squeezing Ashley’s large breasts, hard.
“Do not worry boy. I will not hurt your precious sister, only make her feel good.” Natalia translated, looking down at me in surprise that I was crying. She touched my face and maneuvered to sit on my lap, I was grateful they had not taken my boxers. Natalia sat down and gently wiped away my tears, looking into my eyes, her red eyes softening slightly. She leaned against me, her skin despite having probably a solid pound of ink in it, was soft and warm. Why was she trying to comfort me?
Sasha stood behind Ashley and pressed in close to her, running her hands over the front of my sister’s limp body. Her hands traveled down Ashley’s stomach to her inner things where they proceeded to inch farther in, inch by slow inch. Her fingers barely touching skin. I looked closer and I could just make out movement under her eyelids, the corner of her mouth quirked fractionally. Sasha’s hands stopped, the fingers of one spread Ashley’s pussy open so the fingers of the other could push inside her. Sasha peeked her head around Ashley’s side to look at Natalia, she said something.
“Really?” Natalia asked excitedly, springing up from my lap and bouncing over to Sasha. I felt her absence on my lap keenly as the cold seeped back into me. Natalia leaned down and mimicked Sasha by sliding a finger into my sister as well. They looked back at me, jealous looks on their faces.
“It is times like this we wish we were men.” Natalia said longingly.
“Why we have these.” Sasha grinned, jerking her thumb to one side of the room. I turned my head, my neck was stiff. There was a table against one wall, covered in all kinds of sexual paraphernalia, toys, bondage equipment, objects I couldn’t begin to identify. My eyes flicked back to Ashley and I could see that one eye was open peering at the table. Her nervous smile broadened enough for me to see teeth. I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised to find that Ashley was aware of what was going on, hell she probably could have gotten out of this if she really wanted to. Her eye swiveled to me and she winked. I felt immediately better, my chest eased and I sighed, smiling back at her.
Sasha had moved to the table and was mindlessly picking through the stuff. She held up a roll of duct tape and asked Natalia something.
“Yes that is possible.” She responded. She was on her knees in front of Ashley looking at her pussy, her finger still probing my sister’s depths. Sasha ripped off a piece of tape and came back to Ashley, laying it tightly over her mouth. Ashley didn’t move. I was being more and more impressed with her. She was barely moving although these two were doing all kinds of things that would drive a normal person crazy. Sasha went back to the table and continued to play around with the stuff there. Natalia had moved closer to Ashley and was laying her head against my sister’s thigh, playing with her cunt in an almost loving kind of way.
Ashley was squeezing her eyes shut; I could see her jaw working, grinding her teeth.
“What does she taste like Tim? I know you know.” She purred looking back at me. My response was to glare at her in silence. That was the first time she had addressed me by name and it made my skin tingle.
“Well I shall find out.” She said before turning back to Ashley. She pushed her face into my sister and I knew that from a girl like Natalia, even Ashley couldn’t keep her composure. My eyes were locked on the back of Natalia’s head and throat, so I didn’t hear Sasha come up to my side.
“Her record thirty seconds.” She whispered in my ear, a tangy chemical scent wafted from her.
“Thirty seconds make girl cum from naught.” She said, “Best of red roses.”
“Red roses?”
She blinked, I think she had said something she shouldn’t have, “Nothing.” She stood up straight and I saw that she had something in her hands.
When I had first seen my sister’s strap-on I was impressed, but this, this was truly massive. One end had to have been ten or eleven inches long and pretty thick, the other end must have been a solid seven. She saw that I was looking and grinned, her lifeless white eyes regarding me with something akin to amusement.
Suddenly I heard loud moaning and jerked my head back to Ashley and Natalia. My sister’s eyes were wide open, screaming at the ceiling where her mouth could not. Her body was trembling, sweat making her skin shine as Natalia remained planted between her legs. Ashley squeezed her legs together, forcing Natalia back, gasping for air.
“At least full minute.” Sasha chuckled, “You can not handle her.” Natalia stood up and turned to face us, glaring at Sasha. Her face was drenched in my sister’s juices and absentmindedly she wiped her face with a hand, licking it clean.
“You need a huge fake cock to please her, I have done it with nothing!” she said holding her tattooed arms out and twirling around. I was looking at Ashley as they continued bickering in Russian, she was trembling badly. Her eyes fluttering as she tried to calm down, shifting her legs uncomfortably. She saw me looking at her and I gestured to my left, at Sasha, or more specifically what she was holding. Her eyes went wide and flicked back to me, she was scared now, ‘help me’! This wasn’t a game anymore.
“I invited you as a courtesy Sasha, do not forget that.” Natalia hissed. Well there was one way to get Ashley out of this. Sasha stamped her booted foot in a surprisingly girly act of frustration, stormed over to Ashley and stood in front of her. She slid the large end between her legs, back and forth under her pelvis.
“Where do you want, Ms. Donovan?” she whispered. Ashley’s eyes were frantic as she looked from me to Sasha to me again. ‘Help me Tim, brother!’ Shit! I was sweating and I felt sick, what had I done?
“Natalia.” I called quietly. She was standing close to Sasha, hands on hips watching what she was doing with her back to me. When she heard me call her name so quietly, she obviously knew something was up and sharply turned around. I lowered my eyes and said nothing. She gave a little squeak and rushed over to me, practically jumping onto my lap, legs on either side of the chair facing me. I cringed as she ground her hips into me.
“What can I do for you my love?” she cooed. I swallowed hard and looked over her shoulder at Ashley who was trying to squirm away from Sasha’s more probing touches.
“What will it take for you to make Sasha leave and let my sister go, so we can be alone?”
“Well, it took you long enough to ask.” What!? This was what all this shit was for, I wanted to scream. Natalia said something without turning around and I watched as Sasha whirled around, rage contorting her face. She protested, looking from Ashley to Natalia’s back, jabbing the dildo into Ashley’s hard abs. Natalia rolled her eyes and injected more force into her voice. Sasha shouted back and stormed to the table, picking up a cell phone and rapidly dialing a number. She walked back over to Ashley and stood in front of her staring up into her eyes as she waited for the other end to pick up.
“Lucky girl.” Her voice was full of menace. The other person finally answered and she started speaking rapidly as she waved the strap-on in Ashley’s face.
“She is calling her husband.” Natalia explained with a giggle, “She wants him to be home in less than an hour and to be ready for her.”
“Someone would marry her?” I asked incredulously.
She snorted and called out across the room, before falling into a giggling fit. Sasha slowly turned and glared at me, a vicious smile tearing at her lips.
“Funny.” She snarled turning around and lining up the large end of the strap-on with Ashley’s pussy, she tossed a look over her shoulder before shoving hard. Ashley screamed into the tape and tried to jerk away but Sasha put her other arm around her waist and held her still as she pushed it all the way in. Her eyes rolled back in her head and her chin sagged into her chest. Sasha gave it a twist and frowned after getting no response. She reached up and gently held my sister’s face in her hands as her muffled screams died down to a pathetic whimper, tears streamed from her eyes.
“You have been deprived of a thousand pleasures and pains; you will never be satisfied until you see me again.” She intoned quietly, her English suddenly flawless and her voice deepening. Ashley’s eyes glazed over and her body relaxed.
“Sasha that does not work on females, just leave.” Natalia said tiredly, still not turning around.
“So you say. I will see you both,” she said looking from Ashley to me, “again.”
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