Happy rnding massage near me
Vintner Writes Stuff
2016.10.16 16:28 Vintner42 Vintner Writes Stuff
Stories I have written and submitted to /WritingPrompts.
2013.07.09 16:25 KilowogTrout Oak Park, Forest Park, Berwyn, River Forest and the surrounding areas
A resource for the Near West Suburbs of Chicago.
2016.05.13 07:33 Varafel The accumulated rambilic narratives of a madman
A collection of stories, posted across the InfoNet, by the aspiring, illustrious author Varafel. Gathered and presented here for everyone's perusing privilege.
2023.05.30 22:53 lxtnt Uncut sheet update
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Maestro support finally got back to me this was their response ( I'm sorry you did not receive an alt art uncut sheet. We had originally planned to send everyone who ordered the uncut sheet an alt-art one. Unfortunately, instead of sending us many alt art sheets, our manufacturer sent us multiple kinds of uncut sheets in smaller amounts. To make up for this, we supplied everyone with an extra uncut sheet so now everyone gets 2 sheets for the price of 1. I'm sorry that this wasn't what you expected. If this wasn't a solution you are happy with, please reach back out and I will work out something else for you. ) submitted by lxtnt to FourSouls [link] [comments]
I’m trying to get more info on the sheets I’ll keep you guys updated hopefully they really sooner than last time 😭
2023.05.30 22:53 Alamanti_b1ack I dont understand her behavior
Everytime me and her talk i feel a strong tense with her idk if it just me but i think she feels the same way. What i dont inderstand is how she acting towards me she always stares at me from a distance i caught her biting her lower lips while staring at me. Whats weird when i am near her she will start copying my arm movements. She copies my speech on the way i talk or interact with people. She stares at me like A LOT she doesnt really do this with other people. In all she is in a relationship. So, i am keeping my feelings to myself out repect for her relationship. But i feel she wants me to ask her out i am uncertain she keeps giving me eye contact and keeps copying me on what i wear what i eat how i dress and it at work too. A little weird. Always stares at me from a distance for a long time. My question is she trying to mock me make fun of me? Or she may feel some interest towards me?
submitted by Alamanti_b1ack
to Crushes [link] [comments]
2023.05.30 22:53 wholalune In shock (TW: details abuse) ((Long post))
I don't know what to do or know why I won't just leave. I have a car, a good job/finances, and alternative housing immediately available.
I know I'm in a toxic relationship. I hate admitting it, but it is definitely abusive too. I am not sure if it is mutually abusive or if I am just a victim.
I started dating this person a year ago. It's been a rollercoaster from the beginning. We both have extensive childhood trauma. I have done over a decade of therapy for mine. When we met, they had been in therapy for a year. I have been very aware of how my actions in relationships were unhealthy and abusive. I know I have complex PTSD but I never used that as an excuse for my behavior. I know things I've said to past partners were absolutely uncalled for and traumatizing. It's been over 5 years since I have lashed out at someone in an emotionally/psychologically abusive way. I have never spoken to or lashed out at my current partner in the ways I have in the past. What I have done is be paranoid but not in an accusing way. I have not accused my partner of cheating or talking to others; but I have asked them about it. I have never told my partner they couldn't talk to or see anyone. I have been curious about their life and, depending on the situation, have asked whether they were interested in someone as more than friends. They consider my questions as paranoia and controlling.
Background: when we started dating they made it clear that they were going to want to fuck other people eventually. They lied to me by omission about sleeping with someone and then slept with me the same day (which really pissed me off). After that incident, I realized I would have to ask very specific and direct questions. At this point, they have told me multiple times that they don't want to fuck around and they only want me but it's been hard for me to truly believe them.
Other background info: This person is really sick, physically. They have a chronic debilitating condition that is preventing them from working right now. Their parents take care of them financially. A couple of months after we started dating they contracted HSV1 from me (which I was open about having the whole time) and because of their underlying health condition, the HSV almost killed them. It was incredibly traumatizing. They were home-bound for over a month and I was their caregiver. They continue to have problems with it but not nearly as horrible as then.
Their behavior: They have always had difficulty letting me leave when I wanted to go home. It was endearing at first. I liked that they wanted to keep me around so much. I liked the attention and extra love they gave me when they were asking me to stay. The extra attention turned into them becoming upset if I persisted in trying to leave. They would get very pouty, say "no" and bump into me in a way I now consider a push/shove. Other things they did/do that caught my attention but brushed off are teasing me a lot and even though I've complained, they continue to say "it was just a joke, lighten up", and get mad at me for not being cheerful around their friends all the time. They also grab me hard around the arms and neck to pull me in certain directions. If I'm upset and being loud/talking fast they cover my mouth. They insist I be around them all the time when we are together, including when they are showering. If i'm showering they are free to do whatever they want, but if they are they continually ask me to be in the bathroom with them and get upset if I attempt not to be. They ask me specific questions about my conversations with my friends/what i've talked about in therapy; basically, they want a lot of details about my life but if I ask about theirs they might accuse me of being paranoid and controlling. Also, they blow up my phone if I am not responding to them when we are in conflict and away from each other and they have come to my house when i didn't respond.
Their behavior has become increasingly violent. I stopped excusing it and started pointing it out to them. They always denied it at first, which just led to us arguing about it. When we are in conflict I just want to get away. I do have a hard time saying something like "I'm leaving, i'll be back at X time" and instead I am frantically packing my things and just trying to leave, which they say triggers their behavior. They refuse to let me leave though. They physically stop me, they have taken my keys, they have thrown my stuff around many times, and the pushing has gotten a lot worse.
Where we are now: I have begun fighting back and it is a lot worse now. I have lost it. A month ago, they chased me down in a parking lot and shoved me against a store wall demanding I fix things immediately (this conflict started because I didn't support them enough when they were upset at another driver). When we got back to their place, they pushed me against the corner of a closet and I got a huge bruise on my ass. This bruise is what finally opened my eyes to how bad things are getting. They have thrown me on the bed by my neck, which they still deny. Out of anger at being denied so much (after the second incident of this) I showed them what they did to me by doing the same thing and now if I ever bring it up they say, "yeah, well you did the same thing to me". In the past month they have moved to another apartment. Now they live alone. We have not been able to go a week without a physical altercation. After the incident that resulted in a bruised ass, I confided in a friend about some of their behavior. I also recorded some of the moments they were yelling at me.
This past weekend we really fought. There was a fight earlier in the week, which included them refusing to let me leave, throwing my stuff on the ground and backing me into the fridge. I fell to the ground as well and was crawling away. They grabbed my shirt, pulling me back (choking me) and wrapped their arm around my neck to pull me off the ground. I got a scratch on my neck from this and some other bruises/scratches on my arm. Some days later we fought again and I don't remember what happened but I ended up telling them that I told my friend they have been pushing me around. This really upset them and they started saying I couldn't hang out with her the following day or go to her birthday party since now they couldn't go. I explained to them how hurtful and telling it was that they were more concerned about my friend knowing than how their actual behavior is affecting me (the person they say they love more than anyone). The next day they were super sweet and apologetic (they always are afterward, which I'm wondering if i'm addicted to this part), and wrote me a letter apologizing for lots of things. I read the letter Friday night. Saturday morning I woke up and snuggled them in bed for an hour before waking them up. I had my party to go to but was still trying to spend time with them by getting breakfast together. I had to wake them up for the timing to work out. Shortly after waking up they made a joke about how they didn't invite this one person out last night when they were with their friends (this is in reference to a previous conflict we had because at one point I wasn't allowed to hang out with their friends because I'm moody and I found out this other girl met up with them and they had been messaging through disappearing messages, so of course I had feelings about this). My response was, "well I hope you didn't secretly invite anyone else out" and they turned over and got pouty and all of a sudden I was the bad person and I was in a bad mood upon waking up. They ended up taking a shower and having a mental breakdown, screaming and what not. I was confused and angry. Really angry that they accused me of being in a bad mood when I had just been cuddling them for an hour trying to gently wake them. So I was unavailable to ease their emotional distress. At some point, they got out of the shower and I am over everything. I shoved them out of my way and they fell pretty hard and from there it's "look at what you did". They start acting completely different, talking in a small voice and saying things like "i'll do whatever you want, it's going to be okay." It was a trauma response. Seemed like they age regressed. And while I have sympathy and remorse, It made me angry that they were responding to me like this since I have been putting up with them shoving me and more for the past year. I am not sure what happened next but we kept fighting and then trying to de-escalate over and over again. At one point I made the remark, "yeah well I have plenty of recordings of you" and this is where things became very scary. They lost it and we fought fought over my phone. They were fighting me and trying to prevent me from leaving the room. They kept saying, "what kind of person would record another person" and forcing me to give them my phone passcode. At some point I bit them because they had their hands around me and they bit me back so hard I have a massive bruise because of it. They pulled out chunks of my hair. We both body slammed each other onto the bed/ground multiple times. I had my arm pressed against their neck at some point too when they were wrestling me. They choked me with their hands wrapped around my neck to the point I couldn't breathe. At some point they pinned me down and sat on me and refused to get up until they could access my phone again (it got locked because they were trying to get in it). I was defeated. After they erased all the evidence I had of them I decided I was going to look at their phone. They flipped their shit on me again and we started fighting more. At this point I was certain they were hiding something because of how violent they were being and not allowing me access their phone. They ended up slapping me after throwing me down onto the bathroom floor. Turns out they didn't want me to access their phone cuz they recorded me arguing with them after I shoved them that morning - literally the worst fight of my life began by them demanding i give them my phone and them making me feel like I was the worst for recording them when they did the same exact thing. They then went on to self-harm, and I insisted they go to the party with me becuase I was scared of what they would do to themselves.
I can count over 10 bruises/scratches from the past couple weeks of fighting. My partner has one bruise from when I shoved them Saturday morning. I do not want to minimize my violence towards them. I am just incredibly upset about how they are reacting about the bruise I gave them. When I bring up the marks they left on my body they usually respond with a sorry, but also with an "you bruise like a banana. And I'm not like one of those people who beats the shit out of their wives.", which i feel like dismisses my experience and pain.
OMG this was long, and it still doesn't convey everything. I am at work now and in shock. Been having panic attacks all day. I don't know what to do, and I am really confused about why I am staying in this relationship.
submitted by wholalune
to abusesurvivors [link] [comments]
2023.05.30 22:51 SjakeS95 Need some advice
My partner and I recently (a week ago) got our 9 week old lab, Freddie. We’ve certainly been blessed, as he has slept through the night (9:30/10 to 5:30/6) since the day we welcomed him home, and w me absolutely adore the pants off him.
We discovered after a couple of days the 1 2 rule which honestly has helped us massively, but I still think we are over-exercising/allowing him to get overtired. We have had quite a few occasions where he gets extra nippy/bitey, loses all attention and doesn’t really know what to do with himself. No matter what we do we cannot help calm him down/get him to settle In his crate.
His hour of awake time typically goes like this: - Straight out to the toilet as soon as he wakes and whines. -10 minutes of sniffing around the garden/some recall training(runners jog to my partner then running back to me/interacting with our 6 year old golden retriever Archie (rather playful together but stop play before it gets too excited simply because of the size of Archie and how small Freddie is at 4.2kg) -inside for a bit more training, sit, learning the love the crate -some light toy play -out for another toilet break -back in to crate for a snooze
I am aware that pups of this age should only be having a small amount of physical exercise a day (10-15min I think, but am happy to be corrected!) but I’m curious what would be classed as ‘exercise’ for his age. As I’m worried that 5/6/7 hours of awake time would mean 50/60/70 minutes of exercise which is causing him to be inconsolable in the evening.
Or I could have this all completely wrong in which case I’m happy to be corrected. I just find it very tough to see him inconsolable.
submitted by SjakeS95
to puppy101 [link] [comments]
2023.05.30 22:51 Archives-H I volunteered for an expedition to get off death row. I never should have entered the Sea of Green.
Before I begin my story I must maintain that my sentence to death was a wrong and vile thing to do. I maintain that I am not a killer. I did not kill the schoolchildren the authorities decided to hang me for.
My sentence to death, I must maintain, is a huge misunderstanding. There must be forces out there against me, who conspired to put me in prison for this very experiment, this accursed expedition.
I am not deranged. I am not insane.
The man in the odd multicolored sweater paid me a visit a week before my scheduled execution date. “You are the former schoolteacher Chet Adami?” he asked, polite, offering me a plastic cup of coffee.
I nodded, taking a sip. “I didn’t kill those kids,” I reiterated, for about the thousandth time. “Are you the uh, priest guy? That comes before-”
He shook his head and waved away the guards. “My name is Canopy Hydrangea,” he introduced, extending a hand. I shook it. “I understand you may not be guilty, despite what the state believes.”
I nodded. “Finally, someone who-”
He cut me off. “I’m not interested in your story. Whether you die or not is of no consequence to the people I represent,” he continued. “But I am here to offer you a deal. There’s a place the people I represent need exploring, and I need volunteers.”
He produced a sheet of paper and a pen. “This agreement,” he clasped it into my hands, “has you join a team of expendable, uh, volunteers such as yourself on this expedition. You get in, get the things we need, and get out- and you’re free for life.”
This was better than dying in prison.
I asked him what place this was that I’d be sent to. He told me I had to sign the form first. “I’ll do it, then,” I cheered, signing the document.
He smiled and patted me on the shoulder. “We’ll even give you a whole new identity,” he offered. And with that, he seized the document away from me and left the building.
Within hours I was blindfolded, sedated, and transported. When I awoke I was strapped to a bed in a helicopter, with four others beside me, all beginning to wake up.
The man who’d offered me the deal was there too, sucking on a lollipop while rearranging documents and photographs.
These images, I assumed, was the place they wanted us to explore. They were mostly all aerial photos, a sea of endless green and the occasional bird. And yet, there was more- images of impossible landscapes, dreamlike beings.
“Ah, you guys are awake!” he clapped once, and walked over.
The next few moments were a flash as he re-injected us with some sort of blue, wriggling substance. It was cold, and I swear it pulsed inside my arm.
Then we had landed, and the group was quickly taken inside a compound. We were freed and sat down in some sort of meeting room. More people were inside.
A blue haired lady joined the man.
“Welcome, volunteers,” he announced, pointing to a projector. “You are all, save for one, prisoners on death row,” he reminded. “This offer today is simple- you enter the forest, travel to an outpost we have recently lost contact with,” he turned on the projector, displayed a bright red cylinder labeled ‘SYSTEM RECORDER-A32’, “and recover this data module.”
The woman spoke next. “Easy, right?” she counted us. “We’ll provide maps,” she gestured to tablets. “But this forest is different.”
They proceeded to explain the reason they need ‘volunteers’ for the assignment then.
We were on an island somewhere in the Java Sea. The island had a massive forest in the center, one that at first glance seemed as normal as ever. This changed when an international mining company sent in a team of geologists to determine if there was anything of note beyond the forest.
This team never returned.
Nor did a second team, armed with weapons. Or an environmentalist group that ventured in to document new species. So then the organization our recruiters had come from entered the forest.
We were on the outskirts of the forest, at a place they were calling Ake Base.
Over the past month, they had begun to map the forest and determine why so many hadn’t returned. The reason was illogical- the forest was bigger than the island itself.
Drones that ventured in should have come out the other side- yet remained inside the forest, encountering bizarre phenomena and creatures undocumented.
Every so often, the forest would slope downwards, revealing a new layer with new and distinct ecosystems.
“Recently though,” Canopy concluded, “we’ve lost contact with several outposts in the third layer to eighth layers.” He changed the slide to one of the lost outposts, standing alone amidst a vibrant, alien forest. “You enter the forest, get to your team’s assigned outpost, get back out with the data and you’ll be set for life.”
“Does anyone choose to rescind their agreement?” the woman asked. “It’s either death, or this, and frankly, your chances here aren’t that better.”
There were some who raised their hands. “Hell no!” a man shouted. “I’m goin’ back to life!” The woman had them taken away. We heard gunfire outdoors. No life row for him.
Whoever they were- they were serious about this.
They started to call out names and assign teams.
My team, was small, four of us. There was a mercenary named Leo who kept talking about the food the organization had brought us. He seemed pleasant, charismatic, and I almost forgot he was a criminal.
There was a scientist called Anya who, as she joked, was ‘serving infinite life sentences’ for crimes against humanity. She was given the codes and a booklet of things to watch out for in what they called the ‘Sea of Green’.
Then there was Gail. She was quieter than the three of us, and had an almost eerie vibe to her. She didn’t tell us what she’d done to get here, but she was there nonetheless.
Thankfully, we were given the closest- and safest outpost. A little place in Layer Three, marked by the map as only a few hours walk away.
We set off the next day.
The forest, in the beginning, seemed to almost invite us in. The birds chirped and danced, unafraid of mankind. We even fed them the nuts we’d been given as breakfast rations, which they seemed to enjoy.
About an hour in, things changed. The light from the sun barely pierced the canopy, and at times, we had to utilize our flashlights to see what was in front of us. Leo took the lead, hacking away at the branch and vine in front of us.
The forest was starting to look like a jungle- and yet, as we traversed it never seemed to choose which one it wanted to be.
“Wait!” Anya hissed, as we crossed a stream that seemed oddly familiar. She read from the booklet, then to the map on tablets we’d been given. “We’ve made a circle.”
Leo shook his head. “That’s impossible,” he insisted. “I don’t remember turning.”
“Yeah,” I agreed, catching up from behind.
Anya shared the booklet. “It’s one first phenomena researchers encounter,” she explained. “This place plays tricks on us- we need to follow the stream.”
“But then,” Gail pointed out, “we’d be going in the wrong direction.”
“Trust the book,” Anya concluded. We followed the stream then, and the path started to grow denser, as if the forest hated us for traveling further. But the path was right, and the forest changed as we journeyed.
An hour later the forest had changed. It had sloped downwards a bit, inviting us to the second layer of the maze. The trees seemed higher, and the light was now gone completely.
This was when we started to hear it. Click-click.
“What was that?” I asked, turning. Click-click.
Anya rushed through the book. “It’s not documented.”
Click-click. And then we saw lights in the distance, lights that as we continued walking, were revealed to us as bulbous fruit on the trees that glowed an eerie electric blue.
Click-click. “You sure it’s not in that book?” Leo questioned, switching his machete out for a gun. Click-click.
The clicks were getting louder, each one sending a jolt of uneasy fear down my spine. We moved closer together now, fearing the unknown that were in these- A bush in front of us rustled. Leo aimed his weapon.
A deer- no, something like a deer popped out, gently squawking. It was… wrong in every sense, but it seemed more occupied in chewing a flower than us.
The small creature had the antlers of a deer, yes, but it also had the face of an old man. Not to mention six fists full of thumbs at the end of its legs. It inspected a glowing fruit with it’s odd thumbs.
“Ew,” Gail commented, disgusted. “What the hell is that?”
Anya didn’t have time to look for answers before a black, insectine limp shot out of one of the bulbous fruits and impaled the deer-thing. It screamed an all too human scream and struggled.
We backed away- and by then, the noise was overwhelming. Click-clickClick-clickClick-clickClickclickClickclickClick-clickClick-click. They erupted from every single one of the bulbous fruits, and things began to pour out of them.
The limbs, see, were attached to a head. The a simple sphere that opened into buzzsaws of teeth that grotesquely clicked as they opened. The face-deer only screamed as the clicking creatures devoured it.
“Run!” Leo reminded, shooting as some started to near us. “Run!”
That shook us out, and we ran, terror in our very veins. They seemed more interested in the fallen deer than us- but we still ran until we could no longer.
Actually, it was until I fell off and entered the third layer.
A weight appeared on my chest and I fought it off, thinking I was about to die- but the soft, furry creature atop me jumped off. It wasn’t one of the clicking monsters.
And then I realized the third layer was bright. The trees themselves were glowing now, not the insect fruits of before. And there were a whole host of new, bizarre creatures.
The thing I’d pushed off was some sort of rabbit, covered in glowing blue stripes. If layer two had been a forest of darkness this was it’s very opposite.
In the skies there were ribbons of glowing creatures- thin kites on an unseen wind. The trees were alive with all sorts of furried friends, darting here and there and eating odd colored berries that didn’t seem real.
Anya pointed and spoke, “Look!” It was the outpost, in ruins.
“But what attacked it?” Gail murmured, as we walked over.
We entered through a hole in the wall. The place was oddly peaceful, calming, now home to bioluminescent little ants that dotted the place. Occasionally, one or two of the face-deer would appear, licking the dots up with twin tongues that emerged from it’s too-human face.
“Cute,” Leo joked, picking one up and stroking it. It screamed back at him, chilling and he dropped it. “Never doing that again.”
The place was… too peaceful. And- “what happened to their bodies?” I posited. “If they were attacked- where’s their blood? Their corpses?”
Anya shrugged. “It is odd- perhaps they got devoured.” She gestured to the many oddities around us. “But you’re right, there should be bones, at least.”
This was when we heard the screaming. And all of a sudden every single creature retreated away, disappearing from view, save for the tiny ants inside with us. The screaming was a cacophony of voices, realer than the ones we’d heard from the face-deer.
“I think we need to go,” Leo whispered, holding out the red ‘data module’ in his hands. “Now.”
The screaming got ever closer, and the trees in front of the outpost, beyond a window, started to shake. “I concur.”
We were backing away when we heard the squelching of something loud and heavy. Turning around, we saw the screaming creature we’d heard. It was massive, fleshy, and filled with tiny gaping holes, some filled with eyes, all rising, breathing as one.
I nearly threw up. But that was for a different reason.
The holes were one thing. But the screaming, severed bodies of dozens of people attached the the eye-full monster was another. They screamed and screamed, their bodies unneatly joined and sown into the creature.
It sniffed the air and walked over to the glass, looking in as we hid. “What is it?” I squealed. “What the hell is that?”
The face of a victim in military clothes appeared at the window, screaming, face slowly popping, skin repairing and being digested all at once. Anya flipped through the pages. “They called it a Fleshweave. It absorbs bodies and eats them that way.”
That would explain the lack of bodies we’d seen.
The window shattered- and the thing began to force itself on it, flesh turning to churned cylinders through the window. The bodies, crushed further, screamed some more.
So we ran as the beasts fell into the room with a plop. And despite it’s heavy, gluttonous form it charged forwards, faster than it looked.
Out the outpost we went. I felt a meaty hand hit me and then I fell. It stalked towards me, but a gunshot from Leo burst it’s pus-ridden hand, covered my in grotesque, viscous liquid.
I picked myself up and ran from the screaming thing, up the steep slope and climbing onto the second layer.
I fell again, but Anya caught me, helping me up.
Leo did the same for Gail- but she slipped and fell back into the third layer. The thing approached her, all of it’s pulsing eyes upon her. “Help me!” she bellowed. “Don’t leave me-”
Leo prepared to jump down- but it was too late. The Fleshweave simply picked her up and it opened it’s skin, forging her into her body- er, her top half,- it severed the rest.
“Go!” I snapped, dragging the mercenary to action. The creature behind us lifted itself onto the dark forest and continued to follow.
Gail, merged with the other unfortunate bodies, screamed. I almost stopped in terror from the sound, but flight-or-fight forced me to continue.
Click-click. We found ourselves back in the center of the abode with the insect fruit. And the insects were clearly attracted to the stench of decay the monster emanated. Limbs emerged, and the face-beetles jumped up and swarmed the creatures.
I don't know if the creature was killed by it. I only remember Gail’s face as the insects started to pick her body- and so many others like her- apart.
The way out seemed harder than going in, but we made it. We survived. We reached the outpost and handed our data module to the man who’d offered us the deal. “Impressive,” he congratulated. “You’re the first team back.”
“I want out now,” I panted. “Back to real life.”
He patted me on the shoulder and gave me a sad smile. “According to the world you’ve already died by suicide in your cell,” he informed. “See, there’s a way the people I work for have operated so cleanly for the past few centuries.” He paused and took a step back. “We can’t afford loose ends, see, and you’ve shown us you have the guts to survive Bandai La- er, the Sea of Green.”
I took a step back, panicking. “What do you mean?”
He sighed. “We can’t give you a new life and risk exposing our operation here,” he explained. “And we still need ah, expendable people to lead us to whatever’s in the center of the island.” He handed me a can of soda. “Welcome to your new life. The Company really values your dedication as a treasured employee.”
But I don’t want this. I was promised freedom. And they can’t keep me from exposing them- I’ve typed this up and Anya did something to the tablet so I can receive and post things online.
I’m not sure if this’ll work. But if it is: I’m on an island somewhere in the Java Sea. There’s a forest that goes on forever and I’m being held as some sort of explorer by some Company.
Find me. Before I die.
submitted by Archives-H
to nosleep [link] [comments]
2023.05.30 22:51 Alternative-Fox-8523 I'm a slut.
When I was 14 I wasn't getting enough attention from my parents,I was pretty much all the time on my phone,there I met a very beautiful world of "internet" which of course surprised me with very older guys than me who assured me they would give me "love and affection" which of course didn't come at the right form or shape.Casually I would talk with 19 guys at the same moment and the word "I love you" full filled my broken soul,it made me so happy but after a little bit I wanted more and more of that!!sadly time pass and I realized in the hard way these guys were not after for my love but instead for my body.
Till my 17 I still was craving that kind of form of love and that's when I met my first boyfriend,things were fine but again it did not end well since he was craving other things than me and it hurts me in many ways,it hurt a lot but I grew into wanting that feeling again and that's when I turned again to internet and met "Brand". He would understand me so well,he would stay up the whole night with me and comfort me,speak me,love me.I loved him so much but my jealousy started growing back to it and I left him.I didn't wanna hurt him with my nonsense brain,he wouldn't want someone from the other part of the world.
I am 19,I finished my first year of university and started working as a pastry chef,I put an end to all of this nonsense and decided to leave it back.I started working as a pastry chef in the biggest restaurant in my town, paying was good, coworkers were fine and there I met my chef.Chef started flirting me and getting closer to me,at first I accepted it and loved the affection/attention I was getting but then I remember the past expirience and kinda back off from him,that's the moment he didn't accept it and he became a monster to me.He bullied me throughout daily at job for my appearance,my weight,my work's progress and everything.
I tried striking a conversation with my parents but they were to busy with their problems,once again only internet was there for me,I tried speaking up for me and of course they would give me love and affection which would turn again to something I didn't like but this time it ended worse.One of the people I spoke had a conversation about my activity with someone else and they started calling me whore and "slut",next day at work my chef said "look at you,look at your body,you look like a fucking slut.What you gonna do at your life huh? Shake your big tits and cry?"
This post is just a cry for help,there's nothing that can be changed.
I just feel extremely lonely and noone would understand me at this rate
submitted by Alternative-Fox-8523
to confessions [link] [comments]
2023.05.30 22:51 SpaceNoodles007 Lost my job, considering putting $100K into dividends to pay bills
Hi guys,Just lost my gig, and fear it may take a while for me to land on another contract/job. I have $100k, considering putting it on (safe?) high yield dividends for the time being. Any thoughts? Maybe put it all on JEPI?
Background:37 y/oNot married, No Kids
Currently have the following:
- $40K on Swing Trading
- $125K on Mid-Long Term Brokerage Growth Portfolio (Apple, Microsoft, VTI, and VUG)
- $78K on Sep and Traditional IRAs
- $50K Emergency Fund in my bank (not included in that $100K)
Worked my ass off for the last 3 years to accomplish all of that.
Reason why I had that much in cash is because I was saving that for a future down payment on a home which plans got pushed due to the rates being raised the past year.
Happy to hear your thoughts. This can be a temporary decision only to help out my current situation. Thank you in advance.
submitted by SpaceNoodles007
to dividends [link] [comments]
2023.05.30 22:51 RB-Typhoon 33/M/Canada: Looking for friends? Wanna talk to someone new? I'd be happy to chat.
Hey everyone, 33m, I'm from Canada, looking for some people to chat with. I'm hoping it would be long term, preferably.
I'm a cook by profession, but apart from cooking, I like to read books, play videogames (Xbox and PC mostly), gardening when the weather allows for it, the outdoors (i go on a lot of walks or out on my bike), movies and TV, music (punk and 80's), history, aviation, and Formula 1 racing, among other things.
I'd be happy to talk to any gender from all over the world. Feel free to send me a message or chat request. I look forward to talking with you.
submitted by RB-Typhoon
to MakeNewFriendsHere [link] [comments]
2023.05.30 22:51 chachasusu Getting obsessive over a relationship again
So I have a lot of problems with abandonment. A lot. My ex husband cheated on me and left me for another woman and it’s done some damage on me. More than any other breakup. I took some time for myself and met a great guy. Of course I fell for him instantly. But I would never tell him that. In my opinion everything has been going good for 4 months which I’m very proud of.
However, I had to leave on a trip for a month, which I’m currently on and was pretty sure he was going to end things with me. He didn’t. But we talked about “what we are” and I wasn’t super happy with the outcome. He told me that since our first date he hasn’t been seeing anyone one else (this made me happy) but I asked if he was happy with that. He said “I think so.” Which just bothered me a lot. I fee like he should know if he’s happy being exclusive or not after 4 months? Or maybe he wants to be open idk. He said he doesn’t want to promise me anything because he isn’t certain of anything between us (when talking about being more serious). I get this because we were both thinking about moving when we met and now it seems like things might have changed. I said I was happy to keep doing what we are doing but inside I was annoyed.
Although I can logically see where he is coming from. Not wanting to move fast and have all the info about where things are headed for both of us before jumping into something. I guess the other part of me just wants the fast crazy obsessive love. The love that all my other relationships were like. Crazy and fast. Moving in, getting married taking trips. I barely met one friend at 4 months lol.
I feel like his actions don’t match his words. Like when we are together he seems obsessed with me but says he isn’t certain. It makes me crazy because I’m far away in another country now. Even though he has been texting me everyday I’ve gotten obsessive over the frequency of them. Worrying what he’s doing or if he’s over me. He doesn’t really ask me lots of questions and doesn’t want to video call often. Wondering if he’s gonna break up with me the second I get back (that is how my husband divorced me).
I know he has a life but sometimes I wonder if I’m making up the distance or if he’s really becoming distant. Should I just end it before he does? Should I stop putting in effort so he gets the hint? If there is one thing I hate more than becoming obsessive it’s dating games.
submitted by chachasusu
to BPD [link] [comments]
2023.05.30 22:51 Robertlocution Keys 100
Amazing race. Here's a bit of a recap from training to post-race:
Training: I started preparing in earnest in February for this May race. Although I planned to do more, I maintained 50-70 miles per week for several weeks. My longest prep run was 40 miles going sub-9-minutes per mile. I'm in NYC, so in anticipation of the heat, I spent some time in the sauna, for 15-minute stints. No alcohol Feb and March, so dropped some weight. The FB page is great, with the race officials and runners posting useful info. The RD Bob Becker and Mark Cudak are fonts of knowledge. Got a Garmin Enduro 2 a week before the race because I was concerned about battery life ($750 on eBay). Happy with that purchase.
Day before race: Smooth packet pick-up and great experts panel. Great pasta primavera at Mrs. Macs Kitchen II.
Race day: I was pretty panicky on a couple of occasions before race day, which was unusual, but I am glad it happened because I was afforded the ability to work through the anxiety. Also, this is a tough fucking race and the trepidation was recognition of the seriousness of this endeavor.
In the morning, I taped my toes and heels with kinesiology tape, which allowed me to deal with blisters. Injinji toe socks did me good. Started the race with HOKA Carbon X 2.
It was crucial in the morning to bank easy miles before things got hot. Switched from a baseball-style cap to Sunday Afternoons Unisex Ultra-Adventure Hat when the sun rose. The latter hat was great because it covered my neck, and the drawstring closure held it in place. Also, when things got hot, I was happy to be wearing XOSKIN compression shorts, because I could jam ice in them.
Midway through the race, I changed into Nike Vaporfly NEXT% 2, but I would probably change into another pair of Hoka road shoes if I could do it again.
I was able to finish this race because I remained hydrated. I went through 7 Gatorlytes and a lot of Tailwind. The heat made eating uncomfortable, but I knocked back some gels and gummies. Because every runner must have a crew, and there are some stints where runners and crews can't meet, I wish I had a Salomon Soft Reservoir in my vest.
I liberally applied and re-applied sunblock. The few places I forgot to reapply sunblock, such as the backs of my knees, got pretty burned.
The final 20-30 miles were kind of lonely. Runners really spread out. My AirPods ran out of juice, and I could have used some music for motivation to run a bit quicker. Finished under 24 hours.
Post race: Fairfield Inn overbooked us, so we were sent to another hotel, which was kind of a pain in the ass. But breakfast at IHOP the next day was awesome.
This was my third 100-miler. Being from Miami, I'm very happy I did this. Great bonding experience for my family. You'll never look at the bridges the same way again. Highly recommend.
submitted by Robertlocution
to ultrarunning [link] [comments]
2023.05.30 22:50 girluoeno My unregistered car was towed from my driveway by code enforcement, but the code they’re giving me doesn’t say I can’t have an unregistered car
I have a house in Albany but I knew I was going to be gone for about a year and wouldn’t need to drive my car so I canceled car insurance. In order to do that, they had me turn in my license plate. Then I left my car parked in the small parking lot on my property.
Fast forward to last week, I get back to Albany prepared to get my car checked up by a mechanic & get license plates… and my car is not there. I call the cops, they think the whole thing is weird and can’t tell me why it was towed. Eventually they find out they were told by code enforcement that it was a code violation so they had it towed. They give me the phone number of the code office.
Well I just got off the phone with an unbelievably rude guy from the code office who cited code NYS PMC 302.8 and said I can’t have an unregistered vehicle on my property. I asked if they sent out a notice and he read off that they sent a notice to an address all the way in California that I’ve never heard of or lived near.
After I hung up, I looked up the code it and says “not more than one inoperative or unlicensed motor vehicle shall be parked, kept or stored on any premises, and no vehicle shall at any time be in a state of major disassembly, disrepair, or in the process of being stripped or dismantled”
Not more than one. I only had one. And it was not in a state of disassembly/disrepaietc. So I called back to get clarification and he said no the code says you can’t have unregistered vehicle. Then he hung up on me.
I don’t even know where to go from here. It was towed 2 months ago and it’ll cost over $2500 to get it out of the tow place. Is this guy being truthful that I violated a code? If so, which code? And if this was a mistake, what do I do?
Thanks in advance for any help or insight you provide.
submitted by girluoeno
to Albany [link] [comments]
2023.05.30 22:50 99micolash Fear & Hunger Jump - V1.0
IT IS DONE
My fist jump ever. When I started I had no idea how much work it was going to be.
I am super happy I managed to finish it.
For people who read the last WIP, I have rewritten a bunch of perks, so it might be worth taking a look from the beginning again.
Any comments would be super appreciated
Any corrections to any broken English from me would help as well. I tried to be careful, but somethings aways fall through.
Also, I don't know the process to putting things in the reddit jumpchain doc, so I would appreciate if someone explained that to me.
(I have, somehow, manage to not include a single nsfw image in this, however it is a very mature game and there is mentions of SA in here, so if I should mark it as nsfw please let me know. )
here is the link: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1Hz8kIc73ZRdE0_YqbJaxKnE1s7fB8-17/view?usp=sharing
submitted by 99micolash
to JumpChain [link] [comments]
2023.05.30 22:49 dodgerdaisy14 Anyone recognize this caterpillar? He's hanging near my hosts. Google lens told me he's an eggplant 🍆🤔
2023.05.30 22:48 justdontknow1992 31m, I have no idea what to do with my life. I’m not interested in anything and feel soulless and empty. What practical steps can I take to find a genuine interest in something to pursue a new career?
31m live in Scotland (near Edinburgh) with my girlfriend.
I worked in heavy industry for 8 years earning £50k/yr for most of that in an environmental professional capacity. A profession that I fell out of touch with politically and personally. I quit and took up a simple admin job with the civil service that pays £23k/yr. I only have a £50k mortgage left on my property as I’ve always saved and overpaid, so it’s currently a liveable salary. I also have no other debt which helps. I was going to KMS if I stayed in my previous job. My new job is incredibly relaxed, no stress, but very monotonous and unfulfilling.
I fear that both me and my gf may lose respect for me if I don’t start making moves towards a greater purpose/career path. I’ve been for long thoughtful walks, listened to podcasts, I’ve journaled, I’ve recently been to a careers event in my local city (Edinburgh) and I have absolutely nothing! I just can’t summon interest or passion for anything from my soul and it’s depressing the hell out of me. I feel completely stagnant and worthless. The only thing I have any extra curricular interest in is Pokémon cards, but I already have a side hustle doing that. Im very agreeable in nature and admittedly do not handle high amounts of stress or pressure that well, so I definitely couldn’t go through the climbing the corporate ladder path.
If anyone can give me some practical / psychological advice as to how to wrench genuine passion out of my soul I would be eternally grateful.
submitted by justdontknow1992
to Advice [link] [comments]
2023.05.30 22:48 Leo_Knight_98 Tymna Kodama
Hi! I'm trying to build a Tymna Kodama deck. I didn't set a budget, since I'll be getting the cards I need as I can (I may also proxy it to test before actually buying anything). This deck is meant to control the early with stax pieces such as Rule of Law, Drannith Magistrate, etc; as I draw cards through Tymna mainly. After that it's turn to cast Kodama, and combo off Restoration Angel and Felidar Guardian, with Sidisi to find Acererak and win this way (Acererak would bounce itself as I wouldn't complete the Tomb of Anihilation, and the blinks between Felidar and Restoration would give me nearly infinite Kodama triggers). Another way of winning is through Protean lines, assembling one with a creature like Corpse Knight and the infinite blinks from before. Those are two examples but for sure there are more.
I've already built the base of the deck, however, I need to finish fine tuning it. I didn't get to play it before (I may pretty soon though). I don't expect a particular meta since I'll play in different groups. In one of them they're more likely to play either stax or turbo decks, with some Kinnan thrown in there. In another one they play from Krarkashima to Rocco pod or even Old Stickyfingers. This is the decklist: https://www.moxfield.com/decks/AyOnkZO9hE-fJ16FqrCgyQ
Thank you all!
submitted by Leo_Knight_98
to CompetitiveEDH [link] [comments]
2023.05.30 22:48 TheKnightsofLiz Had a fantastic scheduled ride and a non-existent one attempting to return
I'm new to using uber and was planning on using it during an upcoming trip, so we took one to the mall yesterday. Scheduled it the night before, it got picked up by a driver in 15 minutes or less, great. That ride was fantastic. Now, when we went to leave the mall, we tried to get a ride for an hour and had to give up and call my in-laws for a ride home. I tried different classes of vehicles to no avail. We live on the edge of the metro area, but only about 11 minutes' drive from this mall. Is this why no driver would pick up our request? I confirmed the car type and price and then the app showed me nearby drivers near our pin, but that was it. I didn't do anything wrong with the app, did I? When it got to the map screen there were no other options to select. Any insight into this would be appreciated. Best I can figure is that no driver wanted to take us home because they likely wouldn't find a pickup near our house and have to backtrack to the busier area we were in. ?
submitted by TheKnightsofLiz
to uber [link] [comments]
2023.05.30 22:47 marmalah Does volunteering help with getting a foot in the door?
If I were to volunteer at a wildlife refuge near me, would that help with being able to get my foot in the door? I have experience already in my field so I was mostly wondering if “volunteer at FWS” being on my resume would help me stand out more. Or does it not really matter?
submitted by marmalah
to usajobs [link] [comments]
2023.05.30 22:47 TheExhaustedOne_ So I just tried to kill myself and somehow failed? Wtf am I supposed to do now?
It was suppose to be an airtight plan, quick, easy and painless, I removed the catalytic converters, ran and airtight hose from the exhaust into the sunroof, took a bunch of sleeping pills and turned the car on. I sat there for nearly 4 hours with my throat and eyes stinging, 4 hours and that should've been enough to kill me yet neither the carbon monoxide or sleeping pills even knocked me out, how on earth did I even manage to fail at my own suicide? Wtf kind of sick joke is this? I must of been Hitler in my past life. And it's just great because I honestly believed I'd die, so now I am sitting here with a failed attempt and no plan on what to do now, do I just go back to planning? Maybe benzos this time? Starve myself to death Or try again? It's just not fair.
submitted by TheExhaustedOne_
to depression [link] [comments]
2023.05.30 22:47 dbj_franklin_nz Success with Dutasteride for hair loss and oily and itchy scalp
I'll briefly explain my hair loss and treatment timeline, then explain the conclusion my hair surgery and treatment clinic in New Zealand came to, as I'm curious about others thoughts on their summary.
Early 20's - Began noticing some thinning to the sides of my front hairline, and crown. Slight itching
By Mid 20's thinning got slightly more aggressive, however I also started getting a very oily and itchy scalp, but only in the locations on the scalp I was thinning, not all over. This was the first time I started to suspect that the scalp oil/itch and hair loss must be related, otherwise why would the oil/itch only be in the same spots and not everywhere like normal dandruff.
I kept the itchy scalp at bay using anti-dandruff shampoos, was still oily though. this was the way that it was for the next 13 or so years till my late 30's when I said enough was enough and looked into medical treatment again. I had looked at finasteride in my mid 20's but got scared off by the side effects, even though in hindsight the % of people who experience them is less than 5%, and I could have stopped taking it if I did get sides. Again in hindsight there was nothing to lose, shame I didn't think about it harder at the time. Anyway...
So I got prescribed finasteride 1mg from my doctor and began taking it. 3 months later there was no improvement to my hair quality (wasn't surprised as I knew it takes 9-12 months of follicle shedding/regrowth cycles to start seeing results. however, the itchy/oily scalp hadn't stopped either and because it was isolated to my thinning areas, I began to suspect finasteride was doing nothing, or wasn't strong enough.
I stumbled across dutasteride after reading about its higher potency due to the multiple 5-AR enzymes it targets and its much longer metabolic half life (5 weeks for dutasteride vs 6-8 hours for finasteride). So after approaching my doctor for an off label use prescription, I began taking 0.5mg daily. 2 weeks later, my scalp itch completely disappeared! 6 months or so later my hair quality had improved so much it looked as good at it did in my mid 20s!
I kept this dosage for the next 5 years until one day I went to fill a prescription and dutasteride had been discontinued in New Zealand, and began to panic. I reluctantly went back to my doctor and asked if he could prescribe me 5mg daily dose of finasteride as a substitute, which he gave me. However after 2 months off dutasteride and taking the elevated 5mg daily dose of finasteride, the scalp itch returned with a vengeance, and a few months after that my hair began to thin again. Eventually I contacted a hair clinic with surgeons who had offices in Australia and New Zealand. They said they could prescribe me dutasteride in Australia and have an Australian pharmacy send it to me in New Zealand. Perfectly legal so long as its personal use and no more than 3 months supply. Fine by me. So I'm back on dutasteride, scalp itch has gone again and now I'm just waiting for my hair to recover.
Conclusion from the hair clinic - They said normally dutasteride works for some people because their DHT overproduction is so high that finasteride can't keep up with it because of its short half life in your, so dutasteride stays longer in your system and builds up to give better suppression. In my case however they said the cause was probably different, and the scalp itch/oil was the giveaway.
The clinics summary was that DHT is produced in the scalp from hair follicle via the type 2 variant of the 5AR enzyme, and from the sebaceous glands via the type 1 variant of the 5AR enzyme. Overproduction of DHT in the sebaceous glands causes hyperactivity in the gland causing it to become inflamed and overproduce scalp oil. The scalp oil is a superfood for the dandruff fungus (which explains the itch). The scalp oil is apparently loaded with DHT and makes its way into the hair follicle via the oil. So their conclusion was that most likely in my case, dutasteride worked so well not necessarily because of how long it lasts in the system, but because it blocks both type 1 and 2 enzymes and therefore the DHT produced in the hair follicle as well as the sebaceous gland, whereas finasteride can only target DHT in the follicle. They said that with my condition, I could have taken 10x the daily dose of finasteride and it wouldn't likely have helped, because the cause was likely coming from the sebaceous gland over producing DHT and not the follicle. Again, this conclusion was strongly indicated by the accompanying scalp irritation and oil production which also ceased once I started on dutasteride.
So, to anyone out there who not only has hair loss in specific areas of the scalp, but also has itchy oily hair in the same areas, it's entirely possible that you could be better off on dutasteride. My suggestion aside from speaking to a professional is to try finasteride first for a few months, and if the scalp itch doesn't go away it could be time to switch gears to dutasteride and see if it helps. But try finasteride first as it's nowhere near as potent and therefore much safer.
submitted by dbj_franklin_nz
to hairlosstreatments [link] [comments]
2023.05.30 22:47 Different_Stress_798 Ex ruined me as a person yet gets to move on and live a happy life
My ex boyfriend and I were very toxic together. We first got together when I was 15 and he was 20 (gross I know). For 8 years now we have had an off and on relationship. Around 5 years ago we broke up and a month or two later I had slept with someone else. When we got back together I was honest with him and he hit me across the face. Then he made me imitate what exactly I did with the other guy for 7+ months. He wouldn’t drop it. After that, I was scared of him. We broke up three years ago because he told me he slept with 12 other women behind my back. After two years, it really seemed like he changed. Stupid of me, I know. The first week he did change. Then he asked me how many people I slept with the two years we were broken up. I wasn’t honest and went to many lengths to lie because I was scared of his reaction.
We started living together and trying for a baby as soon as we got back together. Once I was finally honest with him, two months into our relationship, he made my life a living hell. He is in alcoholic so every day he would get drunk. He would drunkenly tell me how ugly I’ve gotten and how I am only with him because no one else wants my damaged self, he would make comments about how I turned into a “heffer”. He would call me loose. He would tell me I’m a slt and whore every single day. He would antagonize me then take videos of me acting crazy. Being told how ugly, fat, disgusting, you are for hours straight every single day really took a toll on me. It got to a point where I would curl in a ball crying begging him to stop but he wouldn’t. I could’ve kicked him out but at that point, I lost all self love. I found the only way I could get him to stop was when I hit him.
Once I hit him he would hold me and tell me to calm down. I didn’t do it super often but it was the only way to get him to stop. More than once he has hit me back. The worst was last year. We went to a party and he was so drunk when we left he forced me to get into the car because I “embarrassed him” then he beat me up for hours straight. He told me he picked where he was going to kill/bury me. I jumped out of a moving car to get away from him and he tackled me and drug me back in the car. When we got to his moms house he wouldn’t let me call anyone and his mom told him to get out of her house. He sent a suicide text to everyone he knows. Then his mom let him back inside. She went back to bed and I tried leaving and he choked me until I passed out. The next day I had a black eye and bruises all over my head/bald spots from him pulling my hair out but he begged me to let him stay with me. So I let him. That wasn’t the last time he layed hands on me. After that instance, he cheated around 6 times by messaging other girls. I started hating him but wasn’t strong enough to leave. We would have one good day and 5 bad days but the one good day felt worth it to me. Even if the 5 bad days I spent having anxiety crying my eyes out being verbally abused. He also pinned his family and friends against me. Made me out to be a terrible person and a terrible significant other. He would get drunk and lie about the person I am so they all would hate him and tell him to leave. When in reality, no one understands what I was put through. They all think I’m this abusive toxic person when really, I didn’t have any other way to defend myself or to get him to stop.
Now fast forward, we’ve been broken up for two months. Since then he has posted more girls on his social media then I can count. Every story he’s made has been directed towards me. It’ll be a post of another girl with something I’ve said to him before in a fight. Or a song I’ve showed him. We never stopped talking during this whole break up. He would call me drunkenly every other day crying saying he loves me and wishes I would’ve never lied about my body count. Or he talked about how we were supposed to have a kid and have a life. He claimed he posted girls to hurt me when he’s drunk and he’s sorry but these girls mean nothing and its just an ego boost. Around a month ago we decided to be friends and he promised he would stop posting girls because I told him how hard it is for me to stop checking his stuff. He then talked about getting back together and cried on the phone saying how in love he is with me. He texted me the whole week making me promise I’ll get back together with him and marry him and have his kids once we both fix the broken parts of ourselves. He made me promise to not give up on us. I did.
Fast forward two weeks ago he asked what I was doing during the weekend and I said going to Indianapolis to celebrate my friends birthday. He asked if I was going out to the bar and I said maybe. He hung up and texted me that he is done contacting me because he’s not going to sit around waiting for me while I wh*re around. He told me the second I even kiss another guy he will never speak to me again… even after he’s already slept with and posted multiple girls on his social media. I told him that wasn’t what I was going to Indy for and that I find it really funny how he can drink everyday and do whatever he wants but as soon as I drink once, it’s this. He never texted back. Posted another girl on his story the next day. The next two weeks he’s posted the same girl ignoring me. I called him asking for the $350 he owes me and he said he would send it while the girl was in the background laughing at me. He never did. Yesterday he posted a picture with the other girl with a love song attached to it. She went to his families party at his moms house. I don’t understand how after two weeks he feels strongly enough about this girl to post about her so much or bring her around his family. He’s posted her more than he’s ever posted me in almost 8 years. I’m not an ugly looking girl btw. I think that’s where a lot of his insecurity with me came in. But the girl he’s talking to is also very pretty so idk.
I’m just feeling very lost. I didn’t have intentions on getting back with him until he was done drinking for atleast a year and going to therapy. I get that was sort of a pipe dream but I’m just sad. I know I deserved better but also a part of me feels like maybe I deserved all of this. Maybe me lying about my body count made me deserve all the messed up things he did to me. On the contrary, I have never laughed as hard as anyone as I have with him. I’ve never been comfortable with anyone besides him. I’ve never felt so in love yet so hateful at the same time as I have with him. I feel empty and I wish this feeling would just go away. I don’t get why he gets to move on and be happy and live life like I never existed with a new girl while I sit here in genuine pain.
submitted by Different_Stress_798
to TrueOffMyChest [link] [comments]
2023.05.30 22:47 Bread5000 Young Irish, does being fat bother you?
I (m28) was at a concert/event recently where the demographic was mostly mid/late 20s. I noticed that loads and loads of people were overweight, obese or very obese. In school and at college there wasn't that many people overweight (especially obese) so I wondered if a lot of Irish people put on weight in their 20s.
Then that made me wonder, does being fat bother you? You seem to be happy out living your best life, which imo is fantastic. I dont see the point in the self loathing attitude media portrayed fat people as having, when you only have one life to enjoy. They (the revellers) were looking good, dressed confidently, dancing, laughing etc. Getting fat as an adult must be a lot better than being fat in school where you were subjected to bullying which can hold you back for so long. Whereas adult peers are generally happy to let each other be - only media, family and health consciousness might impact your confidence from weight gain in your 20s.
Let me know your thoughts/experience, or even non fats if you have seen the same thing. I may have totally missed the mark on this but curiosity is niggling me.
TLDR Does being fat bother you?
submitted by Bread5000
to ireland [link] [comments]
2023.05.30 22:47 Electrical-Mouse2804 Honestly I'm at my wits end, there just doesn't seem to be a silver lining.
I (21F) just am so overwhelmed and I have a wonderful boyfriend and some nice friends but they come from a different world. I just need a space out of them to vent.
Anyways life has been a tad unconventional for me. Addict bio dad out of the picture by age 3, chaotic and abusive young mom, hardly any familial ties out of my mother and paternal grandparents past age 6. Often acted as a caretaker for my significantly younger siblings one of whom has behavioral problems (adored them both though dearly). Started working at 14 and contributed to family finances/my schooling. Household became abusive in pretty much all the ways.
16 had a mental break and was hospitalized and institutionalized for about 6-7 months total. That's it's own can of worms. Left home at 16 after being back for a month due to a horrible event, ran away and moved in w/ paternal grandparents. Vaguely homeless for a bit at 17, then hospitalized and institutionalized myself at age 18. Horrible experience at the first center, abusive relationship, drug use got worse, clinical abuse blah blah. Finally made the decision for a higher level of care hours away in a smaller facility.
Whole life changed for the better, finally everything was clicking. Went to a sober living after and finally got an apartment with some folks. Sadly this was in SoCal and my roomies were older (30's) and were ready for a new chapter. I couldn't afford rent with no help and had to move in with a coworker and share a bed with her little sister. Finally it was time to let them get on with their lives and I felt guilty enough needing so much help.
Back with paternal grandparents who moved ~2 hours away from where I grew up. I sleep on a twin air mattress in their small office with no door. I appreciate it obviously but it is not ideal and we are not compatible housemates. I sustained a pretty decent injury that required surgery and got to stay in my uncle and his wife's guest room. (Grandparents stay in a small in-law unit in the back) however there is pushback on this even as I'm still healing.
I am constantly scrambling and trying to find anywhere to live. Obviously I would prefer a studio or single room apartment but they are so outrageously priced. $1,600 seems to be the LOW end. There are hardly any rooms for rent even and the one I just almost had rejected me as one housemate's gf was uncomfortable a girl (me) was wanting to move in. My grandmother picked up a job again to help me with half my rent so I can go to school full time finally.
All I want is to focus on school, I come from a family that isn't highly educated. That mostly came from poverty/low-income lifestyle's. I am (not to toot my horn much) quite intelligent and love to learn and have attainable dreams. I haven't had the time to just be my age. And when I do act my age I am ridiculed because I don't have that luxury. And tbh this is true, I don't.
I appreciate the help I am getting. But unfortunately it's just not seeming to be working. I have no financial support other than myself (and eventual help with half my rent ofc) I cannot physically work until July/August. I am on disability pay and nobody is willing to teach me to drive so I'm just stuck. I am so scared and stressed and it is overwhelming me. I haven't had to take my anxiety meds in months but have had to nearly daily the past few weeks. (They are as needed, all safe no worries!)
I also am just so lonely. My boyfriend is wonderful and listens and helps as much as he can. But I'm new here in this town. I don't have a strong support circle. I cannot only rely on him and thankfully I AM in therapy, at least the weeks I can afford it lol.
Anyways I don't know what I'm looking for, it just feels nice to put it out there. If there is any advice I'd appreciate it. I am trying my best. For school I enrolled in FAFSA, got approved for that as well as 2 state grants. I applied for our EOPS program last week. I start school for the first time in over a year in 2 weeks. So I suppose that IS a silver lining. And my boyfriend and dog also are. I shouldn't say there isn't any, and I'm lucky to have my grandparents. I just am scared and feel utterly small.
EDIT: grammar mistakes
submitted by Electrical-Mouse2804
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