Bloxburg houses ideas

Off Grid Cabins: A community for enthusiasts, builders, and owners of cabins

2013.08.14 18:30 trickj Off Grid Cabins: A community for enthusiasts, builders, and owners of cabins

Looking to combine a lot of the ideas of tinyhouses but for a larger size home. Content can be pictures of cabins, topics on how to build or maintain one, lake houses, mountain cabins, or any home that incorporates green technology while focusing on size and efficiency.

2020.07.31 11:54 acandyflossgirl TheBloxburgBucks

Here is a place where you can earn Bloxburg money by creating houses for people, DRAWING COMMISSIONS are allowed! and Memes will be accepted! Also GIVEAWAYS 💲💲💖 have fun!

2017.08.23 21:17 Bloxburg

The unofficial subreddit dedicated to everything related to Welcome to Bloxburg.

2023.05.30 23:07 Roblite Recovery 2 Years On (also advice comment)

It cannot be understated how badly my ex fucked my young head up. What both gives me some internal support and a reminder is - 'I was just a kid'.
I was just a kid, escaping two abusive work environments and an abuser online, when she took me on an adventure. I could feel alive again.
She saw me for who I was. Or so I thought.
She listened to me. Or so I thought.
She loved me for the human being I was. Or so I thought.
I was just a stupid kid. I'd been bullied a lot, had a crazy upbringing, had the stupidest idea of who I was and my head in the clouds. I had a right to, though. I was just a young lad like anyone else trying to make sense of his life. I had all these grand dreams, all these worldviews, all these cherished hobbies, all these interests - and I believed it was okay. I believed I was cool. I believed I was a decent guy, that I could do right by people, that I deserved to be heard in a conversation, that I deserved to speak my mind and believe in myself.
Over the years, I'd built a tin-shack house of self-esteem inside of me. She fucking obliterated it. She burned it to dust.
Am I being manly enough? Her previous ex wasn't.
Am I being proficient enough? Her previous ex was awful at cooking.
Am I being good enough in bed? She still dreams about that other ex fucking her and feels pleasure from it every time.
Am I covering enough expenses? That ex is probably rich by now, he went to university and all.
Am I being enough of a fucking asshole? Her ex is going to steal her away from me in a horror scenario.
Contradiction after contradiction, gaslight after gaslight, comparison after comparison - was I just a fucking mannequin to dress up? Did you really see who I was, or just some stupid idea, some 'ideal man' you've hallucinated in my stead? Did you fantasise about the day I'd grow up, come around, mature enough, become this all-forgiving saint that can handle the absolute monster you were concealing from me, the dumpster fire who'd ran from man to man, leaving a trail of destruction in your wake?
Are you ever going to feel empathy? Are you ever going to feel remorse? Do you ever, ever, for the most fleeting of milliseconds, for the most forgotten of moments, feel a flash of regret for what you did to me and all the others? Do you even have a capacity for it? Homeless abroad, extorted of thousands, ostracised by a friend group and your entire family.
Do you ever realise how fucking lost I was in the years after? How I'd been systematically stripped down of all my self-esteem, all my self-love, all my will to see good in the world? All the potential friendships, relationships, jobs, gone, because of an absolute downward spiral trajectory. I was an absolute fucking husk of a young man, deprived of self-worth and certainty about reality itself. Ringing, echoing, bouncing around my head, over and over in depressive episodes - 'you aren't good enough' 'they laughed at you' 'they know how pathetic you are, too'
Am I good enough? Am I a good enough man? Am I worthy enough to make eye contact with this person? Am I worthy enough to sign up for a dating app? Am I worthy enough to feel good about this hobby? Am I worthy enough to feel confident in myself? Am I worthy enough to talk about the things I enjoy and find funny?
Do you realise how hard it was to finally invert that question, ask - are you worth thinking about anymore? Were you really worthy enough for me? Would the person I am now touch you with a ten foot pole? Would the person I am now let you destroy me, destroy someone in proximity? Would I take your absolutely evil gaslighting and triangulation with even the tiniest grain of salt?
It's taken me a long time to finally say - I was just a stupid kid, you were mentally ill, and it's all done and dusted. I'm tired and don't want to think about it anymore, have a nice life.
submitted by Roblite to BPDlovedones [link] [comments]

2023.05.30 23:04 Ok-Drink-4553 Home network

I’m moving into my first house this month and am wanting to get ideas on a home network configuration. It’s a split house with 3 bedrooms, 2 bath, living area, kitchen/dining room all “upstairs” and “downstairs” being one large room, laundry room and 2 car garage.
The wife and I both work from home and we both play video games (PS5 w/LAN) I stream regularly and so does she sometimes. Her office will be one of the main floor rooms where she will likely have her wfh setup as well as her gaming setup which would include her printer, work laptop, likely a smart tv and a PS5. Downstairs in the large room will be my wfh space and gaming setup including a work laptop, PC,PS5 and a tv. These 2 rooms are on the opposite sides of the house.
How should I set up my internet to be able to get the most out of it? Should we just get 2 routers and place them in both rooms? Should we get wifi extenders with Ethernet cables?
I believe the internet provider will be ATT or Spectrum internet
submitted by Ok-Drink-4553 to Network [link] [comments]

2023.05.30 23:04 Ok-Drink-4553 Home network

I’m moving into my first house this month and am wanting to get ideas on a home network configuration. It’s a split house with 3 bedrooms, 2 bath, living area, kitchen/dining room all “upstairs” and “downstairs” being one large room, laundry room and 2 car garage.
The wife and I both work from home and we both play video games (PS5 w/LAN) I stream regularly and so does she sometimes. Her office will be one of the main floor rooms where she will likely have her wfh setup as well as her gaming setup which would include her printer, work laptop, likely a smart tv and a PS5. Downstairs in the large room will be my wfh space and gaming setup including a work laptop, PC,PS5 and a tv. These 2 rooms are on the opposite sides of the house.
How should I set up my internet to be able to get the most out of it? Should we just get 2 routers and place them in both rooms? Should we get wifi extenders with Ethernet cables?
I believe the internet provider will be ATT or Spectrum internet
submitted by Ok-Drink-4553 to wifi [link] [comments]

2023.05.30 23:04 girl_from_the_crypt Stuck on earth and looking for a job: I sat in a shopping cart for most of this...

Nettie Peterson has known me at my best and at my worst, and after everything that's happened lately, I think I can finally say the same. I'm admittedly not very good at comforting her, though. I haven't had much practice, is all. Historically speaking, she's always been the one to take care of me. My introduction to earth was a confusing, horrifying time for me, and she had dealt with all of it. She'd handled every panic attack, brought me back from every low. When I woke up one night to a drilling pain in my stomach and blood soaking my panties, she managed to keep me calm while explaining that this would now happen every month.
What I'm saying is that the woman is insanely skilled.
Me, not so much. After we had gotten out of the cave, I tried to provide emotional support by petting her hair and talking soothingly. Seeing as I was also distressed, she was doing the same to me, so we were basically sitting on the beach holding each other. To the outside observer, we must have looked rather strange. I was relieved to finally get back to her house. We sat down in front of the TV and ate cupcakes. We have a special system for eating cupcakes. I peel off the frosting and give her rest. It's messy and I have to keep hand wipes nearby everytime, but it's how we do it. We both eat cupcakes whole when we're by ourselves, so it doesn't make much sense either, but when we share, it's always like this.
Once I was sure she was alright, I left her to go off to bed while I made my way back to the hotel, bracing myself for what I expected to be an extremely uncomfortable conversation.
The lobby was dim and quiet. The large, bright ceiling lights had been turned off with only a couple floor lamps illuminating the hall. I walked past the unmanned reception desk and up the stairs, then rapped my knuckles against the door to Frankie's room. After a couple seconds, he opened up. Upon meeting my gaze, he let out a soft gasp, but it wasn't followed by a smile this time. He made way for me to step inside, wordlessly, and I entered without breaking the silence. I sat down on the sofa where he joined me after placing a glass of coconut water in front of me.
For a beat, we both stared at the drink. I didn't take it.
"What you did felt really off earlier," I began. "You were trying to embarrass Nettie. If you were testing your boundaries, if you were trying to see how I'd react, you got your answer. Don't ever make me choose between you two. You'll lose."
"Yes," he said quietly.
"If you don't get along with Nettie, that's one thing. You don't need to. But she was needling you and you made a real effort to be cruel." I paused. "You act so strange sometimes. All bossy and cagey."
"Yes," he repeated, briefly falling silent as he worked away on his gum in slow, contemplative motions. "I'm sorry. I don't know why I did it. I wanted to unsettle her. It's not that I don't like her, she's fine, but at that moment, I simply loathed her. I couldn't tell you why. But I wish I'd kept quiet. I feel gross for spouting off like that."
"Then… why?"
"I don't know! There's this weird feeling, it comes over me and makes me remember stuff that's in the past… Then I get caught up and confused. I run my mouth, but I don't want to make you upset. I swear I won't do it again. I'll rein myself in."
"Will you? This doesn't seem right." I took a deep breath. "Frankie, I have no idea what you are. Even though you know everything about me."
"Not everything," he argued. "You never said a thing about what life was like where you're from. Or who you were before. Yes, that's not what this is about, but I'm just speaking technically."
"You shouldn't have to rely on technicalities to make a point."
"No. Look, I keep wondering what I'm even doing here. I like you a lot. But I haven't thought this through and by now, I'm scared to."
"Stop talking in riddles," I implored him.
He huffed out a chuckle. "I'd have to stop thinking in them first." Before he could add anything else, his phone started vibrating on the TV table. "Oh, dammit," he muttered. Shooting me an uncertain gaze, he reached out for it, his hand hovering above the screen. "Can I?"
"Sure." I let go of a long breath, snatched up the glass and leaned back in my seat as Frankie answered the call. I pick up on a woman's voice talking on the other end.
He kept glancing over at me almost sheepishly as he mumbled words of affirmation into the phone. "Yes… Yeah, I remember… Well, it's not a good time, but I'll do it. Bye." Dropping the device into his lap, he gave me a twist of the mouth. "That was Mae-Lynn. She works at—"
"The diner with you," I cut him off. "I do take note of the other staff there, for your information." I took a sip of my water. "Occasionally."
"I promised to do some shopping for her. She's come down with the flu. Store's closing soon, though, so I'll have to go now."
"Well, that's convenient."
"I was going to ask you to come along."
I agreed. Having lost track of the conversation, the drive was a grim, quiet affair. Frankie took us to one of the more expensive stores in the area, saying that he wanted to treat Mae-Lynn.
"Take a cart," I ordered, and once he had acquired one, I had him hold it still while I climbed inside. He regarded me with a bemused expression but refrained from commenting as he began to roll me down the aisles.
Grocery shopping at night is something else. Eighties music was playing over the radio at a low volume, but the otherwise quiet space made it sound decidedly louder. There was almost the hint of an echo. Safe for two of three singular, tired-looking individuals, Frankie and I were the only people in the store. I had nestled against the back of the cart, my head tipped back to watch Fran's face from below as his eyes roamed the shelves. Occasionally, he'd stop to check the list Mae-Lynn had texted him on his phone.
"If you want anything, speak up," he told me.
"I'm out of cereal," I said, just as we passed the respective aisle. He turned the cart back around, let me pick out a carton of cornflakes and took up walking again. After five minutes of stoically regarding him from my mobile vantage point, I piped up again. "Go back. Wrong ones."
"Well, which ones do you want? I'll get them, it's faster than pushing this thing around."
I shook my head. "No, no, I have to look at them. Go back."
He shook his head to himself but obediently maneuvered the cart back to the shelf with the breakfast items. I took my time picking out a different box, then settled back down.
"Happy?" Fran asked.
After fifteen minutes, we were getting close to finishing Mae-Lynn's list. Frankie was starting to move towards the cash register, only for me to tug on his arm. "Turn back," I told him, holding up the box. "I don't want them after all. I need different ones."
He stifled a groan. "Sure, Sunshine." I let him roll me all the way back to the cereal aisle where I studied the colorful boxes intensely. "Nevermind," I said, turning back to him. "Let's go."
He started making his way over to the register again when I cleared my throat. "Actually, I think I might have another look."
"Are you kidding me?" he squeaked, only for me to hold his gaze with a smile. "You are," he choked out. "I oughta send you rolling right into that stack of cans."
"You wouldn't dare."
"Is that a challenge?" He glanced about himself, finding that we were alone. Then, he pushed the cart, and it swerved, sliding across the shiny floor. The thrill of the launch washed over me and I started laughing. He lunged for it, grabbing it just in time to prevent the collision.
"Do it again!" I demanded.
He indulged me, sending me swerving and spinning a couple more times. Eventually, he took a running start and pushed me down a long, empty aisle at a breakneck speed. The giggles died in my throat when, seemingly out of thin air, someone appeared at the end of the aisle. My jaw dropped and I reflexively gripped the sides of the cart to protect myself from the impending crash, but the person simply reached out and caught the cart by its edges. Within the blink of an eye, they had managed to steady it. My vehicle had come to a standstill. It all happened incredibly fast, and for a moment, I found myself unable to react. One of the other person's hands had come to rest over mine in the process. Still at a loss for words, I raised my head to meet their gaze.
Those eyes.
My heart, already thundering in my chest, dropped entirely into my stomach. There were pupils filling the void in that formerly uninterrupted pale vastness this time, but I recognized them either way. Seeing them sit in an actual face instead of behind a nondescript black mask was strange, but there was not a doubt in my mind. It was them.
The cultist had jarringly pleasant features that struck me as neither overtly feminine nor masculine. Their tawny skin had an almost bronze sheen to it and short locks of platinum blond hair stuck to their smooth forehead, slick with the same sweat that formed stains beneath the armpits of their light gray t-shirt.
It was like time stood still. The interaction could not have been longer than two seconds in total, but it felt like a full hour. From me staring at our linked hands, to locking eyes with them, to the cold, raw realization, it seemed to me as though forty minutes or more had gone by, followed by another twenty when I watched the crude smile forming on their lips. Their fingers clamped down on my own, and before I knew it, it had happened.
The lights in the store had changed color, taking on a dimmer, sickly green tint. The shelves around us had emptied and the gentle, melodic hum of the radio had been replaced by a deep, droning buzz of static. I was still sitting in the shopping cart, and the cultist was still leaning over me, but their expression had morphed into one of shocked disbelief. Seeing fear on the face of the person who'd stabbed me might have been a great satisfaction to me in any other situation, but right then and there, I was equally as terrified.
I had switched dimensions and was now alone with my attempted murderer.
The thought took a while to sink in, but the clearer it became, the more I felt the need to scream. And yet, not a sound left my lips. My own saliva had turned sour, filling my mouth with an acidic taste. Dread pooled in the pit of my stomach like icy, chilled water and tears were stringing the corners of my eyes. I blinked them away in a hurry, redirecting my gaze at the cultist. They were staring past me in a daze, taking in our changed surroundings before fixing me with a sharp glare.
"What?" The word somehow slipped past the lump in my throat.
The cultist made a sweeping gesture at our surroundings. "Where are we? What the hell is this? You don't even have your dimension hopping under control? Not gonna lie, I had higher expectations of you."
"What?" I repeated eloquently.
"You just switched dimensions on my ass. And seeing as you literally crashed into me, I don't think you planned on doing that."
"I didn't," I confirmed.
"That's what I'm talking about."
"You know about dimensions?"
The cultist palmed their face, emitting a deep, low groan. "Clearly."
I scrambled back in the cart, trying to bring some distance between the two of us. I bared my teeth at them, both rows elongating and curving outward. At least I was getting the hang of my physical transformation. "If you come any closer, I'll rip your hand off," I hissed, spittle flying out between my fangs.
"I believe you," they replied, narrowing their eyes at me. "I'm not gonna hurt you."
"That's hard for me to believe."
"Yes, sure. I did and I would again, but not here. Not now. You understand?" they asked pointedly, their voice cutting like a razor blade.
"I'm not sure I do."
"Well, without you, I won't get out of here, and I've stuff to do on the other side." They stepped behind the cart and grabbed onto the handle.
I hastily twisted around to face them. "You know about the finer details of dimension hopping but you can't do it yourself?"
They let out a soft sigh as they began pushing the cart, with me inside, down the empty aisle. "I managed to do it once. Just once. Never again. It's not a great surprise to me that you should be able to switch to the other sides, but I'd thought you'd be able to control it. I think I have your number. I'm pretty sure I know what you are, and we have more in common than you could have probably guessed. That boy you were with on the other hand… I won't lie, he freaks me out. He's got the strangest face and he didn't react to my eyes at all."
"What are you?" I queried, quick to steer him away from the topic of Frankie Preston even though I didn't really expect an honest answer. "How'd you do that the other night? Your… your eye thing?"
"That unsettled you, didn't it? It's not anything I do per se." They shrugged leisurely. "I could just as well ask you where you're hiding your tentacles."
"So you're not human. I didn't think you were," I stated. "What's your business with the Collective? What are you after? Are any of you normal people?"
"As far as I know, I'm the only one who's not." They steered the cart around the corner with a swift, forcible yank and I bumped painfully against the side of the cart. Stifling a yelp, I kept my face straight, looking over the shelves as we passed them. I noticed that some of them weren't entirely empty—there were a couple jars, cans and bags of various goods standing scattered throughout. They looked almost lonely. The cultist, registering my wandering gaze, stopped and grabbed a random plastic jar that looked like it could be containing peanut butter or something of the sort. The label was faded and partially peeled off. They inspected it from all sides before thrusting it into my hands. "Here, open it," they commanded.
"I certainly won't," I replied, a mix of rage and apprehension bubbling in my chest.
"Aren't you curious?"
"No. But if you are, go on and open it yourself."
They grunted, grabbing the jar and unscrewing the red lid. They dropped it to the floor where it bounced off once and rolled away into the darkness. Peering in, their expression remained unchanged. "Nothing. Look." They held it out to me and sure enough, it was empty. I let them hand it to me, intrigue winning me over as I started examining the small container. It was completely unremarkable. I reached two of my fingers inside only for the digits to suddenly be stricken with a searing pain. It flashed through my bones like lightning and I cried out, withdrawing my hand. Suddenly, the floor seemed to quiver. The lights in the store flickered, seeming startlingly bright for a split second only to turn dimly green once more. The cultist let out an involuntary shriek, staggering back before managing to steady themself as everything went back to its former solid state.
"What the fuck was that?" they wheezed.
"An earthquake?" I suggested, not quite knowing what else to say. My pulse was thrumming in my ears, hard enough to split my head in half. It took me a minute to regain a relative state of calm.
"An earthquake? In another dimension? You're messing with me."
"I don't know! Maybe it was… maybe I was nearly jumping back, I have no idea." I shook my head, ignoring the throbbing pain shooting through my temples. "I don't have it all figured out yet, but it's an emotional response. Whenever my flight instinct gets triggered, these dimension switches happen. It was the jar. The jar is painful inside."
"What do you mean?" they asked, eagerly reaching for the jar and sticking their pinky finger into it. They pulled it back out with a howl, letting the jar drop to the floor. "What the hell is up with this place?"
"How would I know?" I argued hotly.
"Yeah, well. Anyways." All of a sudden, their hand was in my hair, tugging on my braid. They yanked my head to the side, and before I could break out my tentacles or try to snap my jaws at them, I could feel their hot breath on my nape. A scream died in my throat, equal parts painful and shocked. My eyes burned, my vision swimming when the cultist dragged their teeth across my skin, leaving a trail of warm saliva. And then, fast and without mercy, they bit down.
The lights turned bright white. The static buzzing that had been hanging in the stale air changed to the familiar eighties music tunes. Squinting into the sudden brightness, the colors of the countless types of packaged products filling the shelves almost seemed to be screaming at me.
We were back.
The cultist disentangled themself, quickly stepping away from me. I looked up, still dazed, to see why. Frankie Preston had come up behind us, snatching the cart away from the other person and pulling it out of their reach. I immediately scrambled up to wrap my arms around him. "That's them," I breathed. "From the Collective."
"I know," he said tonelessly. His eyes, trained on the blonde, spelled murder. "You should get out of here," he added, addressing them. "The shelves here are rickety, they might fall on you."
The cultist's expression was a frozen mix of suppressed uncertainty and confusion. Still, they held the server's gaze. "You should maybe not… do anything stupid," they uttered, their voice almost equally as flat as his.
"I'm all about stupid."
"Then I guess I ought to leave. See you guys soon. It was a pleasure." They threw us a smile that was faker than Frankie's when he waited tables before marching off, leaving the two of us alone in the aisle.
"Are you alright?" Fran asked, running a hand over my mussed braid. "What happened? I'm so… one minute you were here and the next…"
"We switched dimensions."
"I pieced that together. You weren't gone for long… just a couple minutes." He nervously twisted his wet bubble gum around the tip of his finger, drawing nervous strings.
"Were you worried?"
"Out of my mind," he said in a low voice, not meeting my gaze. "I mean, I knew you'd be okay on your own, I wasn't saying that—"
"I wasn't. I'm not," I interrupted him. "I got out alright, sure I did, but I'm not okay right now." I swallowed. My throat was bone dry. "I need to call Mary Markov. She should hear about this."
Frankie nodded along. "Do you want me to do it for you? I'm certain I can give her an accurate description."
I declined and sat back in the cart. Per my request, Fran brought me home after we'd paid for everything. I needed some time alone to relax and pretend everything was normal. I cleaned my room and then looked through job listings, which I admittedly haven't done in a little while. When I couldn't find any other way to procrastinate, I made the call to Mary Markov, which went about as well as could be expected. She wants to see me tomorrow, though. I wish she'd told me about what. For a newsreader, she's really not very forward with her information.
2: deadbeat roommate
3: creepy crush
4: relocation
5: beach concert
6: First date
7: Temp work
8: roommate talk
9: a dismal worldview
10: warehouse
11: staircase
12: explanation
13: hurt
14: hospital
15: ocean
16: diner
17: government work
18: something in the caves
submitted by girl_from_the_crypt to nosleep [link] [comments]

2023.05.30 23:03 Penjengw Wet spot on concrete patio

We noticed a wet spot on our concrete patio in the back of the house. We are not sure if it is actually water or just a stain on the concrete.
We are on a well, if that makes a difference at all.
Any ideas on what it could be or what to check for? Thanks so much!
submitted by Penjengw to HomeImprovement [link] [comments]

2023.05.30 23:03 HercHuntsdirty My (24F) Girlfriend Ended 6 Year Relationship With Me (26M) - I Don’t Understand (Advice/Guidance Needed)

I (26M) was recently broken up with by my (24F) girlfriend of 6 years right after opening up to her about how I had been struggling a lot mentally recently. That's not necessarily the cause, but it happens to be a terrible coincidence.
Backstory to the unfortunate mental struggles:
About 10 weeks ago I had a very long night out and woke up extremely hungover. My brother met up with me that night in our parents car and ended up staying with us for a few drinks, so evidently he left the car.
Of course, I woke up and had a boatload of caffeine so I was already on edge a little bit. My brother was still asleep, so my mom asked me if I could quickly drive my dad to the car so he could take it home. No problem, I hopped in my car and drove there with my dad.
On the way home, completely unprovoked and no anxiety prior, I had an insane panic attack. I’ve never experienced anything like it before. I think I’ve only had one panic attack in my life, and for some reason it left me with a very small amount of social anxiety. During this attack, my hands and feet were completely numb and sweating. At first, I had literally no idea what was going on - I thought it was a legitimate health issue. I ended up taking a bit to drive home, but I made it.
Since then, I've just had heightened anxiety. I've had one other panic attack in the past and I eventually got over the lingering anxiety, so I knew it wasn't permanent.
Mental Health Backstory on her end:
To preface this, we both have anxiety/depression in our genetics unfortunately. In fact, her mom spent some time in the hospital when they were young because of how bad it got.
She also apparently had a ton of anxiety from work recently (she's a nurse, I'm in tech).
On my mothers side of the family, my mom, grandma and great grandma have struggled with anxiety their entire lives, some of them taking antidepressants.
Not fun genes for either of us to have, but we persevered!
Our Relationship:
This is what has been getting to me, our relationship was very healthy. We argued probably 2-3 times per year, we spent the majority of days together - as we lived only a 5 minute drive apart. We were both fully a part of each other's families. All of the normal relationship stuff, we were completely engulfed in it. We had also been looking at engagement rings for a bit and ALWAYS talked about our life together.
When I was about 19 before we were together, I used to drunkenly talk about her all of the time to my friends saying "if she ever gets out of the relationship with her boyfriend (at that time) she's the one I'm going for". When I was graduating high school, I went into her class on yearbook day, grabbed her yearbook and wrote my number in it. Long story short, she ended up single and within a month of that happening, we were together.
The "problems" we had over the years that were semi-recurring:
I didn't suggest enough of our plans. I explained to her a number of times that I'd happily go anywhere, I just don't tend to suggest ideas because sometimes she wanted to, other times she didn't. I've lived by the motto "happy wife, happy life" in that relationship, so I tended to go along with whatever she suggested.
We didn't take enough pictures together. I don't really like being in too many pictures and that bothered her.
We didn't travel together enough. This goes back to the anxiety, I hate flying and haven't done it in almost a decade. However, I have an appointment with my doctor in early July where I'm requesting some "emergencies only" anxiety medication to use for that exact scenario. Note - she went on a number of trips over the years with her closest friends. Furthermore, we had done weekend getaways via car together but those apparently don't count. To add, her friends are hopping on planes at least once per month to go somewhere, I think comparison became the thief of joy here.
I didn't tell her I loved her enough or hug her enough. This one is hard for me because I felt like I definitely told her I loved her a lot. She used to occasionally say "do you even love me", semi-joking but also serious, and I always told her of course I did and even though I may not say it a number of times a day, of course I do. I also did a TON of things for her to show how much I cared (ie. she very rarely had to make a lunch for work, I cooked for her almost every day and we don't even live together) The hugging thing is a bit different, as she's always been extremely affectionate and I never really have been. I truly think it comes down to how I was raised, affection just wasn't a huge part of my childhood. (note, that's not a problem for me or anything, I had incredible family/parents, it just wasn't as prominent as it was in her childhood)
I cared a lot about money and how we could set ourselves up to move out. She had taken 5 trips (two of them by train, three by plane) with her friends in the past year and after the 5th one I asked if she planned on slowing down so she could focus on tackling her student debt and so we could start saving to move out, have a wedding etc. Specifically, I wanted us to be in the position where we weren't renting a home, ESPECIALLY given how much money we were making combined. This part kind of confused me because she was the first one to suggest moving out, but when it came time to adjusting the lifestyle to prepare for it, she didn't like the idea. But, I did use it as a crutch for my anxiety to get out of things sometimes and I did open up to her about that. As an example though, I still went with her to the Gucci store and helped her pick out a very expensive purse to celebrate getting her first real nursing job after graduating. I don't feel that I cared about money (especially given the stage we were in in our lives) more than any of my buddies with girlfriends. I wanted us to be set up well for the coming stages of our lives; they were fast approaching. Furthermore, her friends are catching a plane every weekend and are living with their parents but pay cheque to pay cheque with no prospects of ever leaving unless it's renting
The Situation:
About 7-ish weeks ago, a few weeks after my panic attack, my girlfriend was very adamant that we needed to book a trip together. She said we hadn't been on a "real" trip during our relationship (by real, she means getting on a plane). We were sitting down in her bed on my laptop looking at destinations and flights, but I was incredibly anxious about the whole thing. As we were about to book, I broke down and was fully vulnerable to her for one of the first times in the 6 year relationship. I said that I just don't see myself getting onto a plane right now without some kind of medication to calm me down. On top of that, it would stress me out financially a bit, as I'm a full-time masters student and working full time. Plus, it was during my one-week semester break, so I honestly just wanted to relax.
From that day on, our relationship started going downhill. She said she felt extremely disappointed by the whole situation and she couldn't shake the feeling. We then started only hanging out maybe once per week and it was very bland when we did. A couple weeks after that incident, I slept over at her house and I could tell she was genuinely just not happy at that time.
Brief backstory - despite being 26, my mom still gives me a ton of flack if I sleep at her house. It was rare that I got away with it. But, I did it that night anyway because she always asked me to sleep over but I rarely wanted to have to deal with my mom. I thought it would help show her I'm really trying to get better. She also invited me over the following evening and I obviously went.
After that day, I don't think we saw each other for about 2 weeks. I texted her on a Friday evening and said I just don't feel like she wants to be with me anymore. She picked me up so we could talk, and explained that she felt very disappointed about how we were so close to booking the trip and ended up not doing it. She said she needed a break and I was fine with it, I understood where she was coming from.
During this time, I started seeing a therapist. I found one online who was one of the highest rated in my province and was also extremely experienced in marital/pre-marital counselling so I could tell her about the relationship issues I was having along with my anxiety.
Fast forward about 2 more weeks (last weekend) she texted me saying she was ready to talk and picked me up. She said it's probably best if we just end the relationship for the time being. She explained that she felt she had been disappointed a few times over the years and was bottling a lot of things up. She said she needed time to "find herself again" and didn't know if we would get back together at all in the future or not. Then, we sat there talking in her car for another 30 minutes like things were normal so it really threw me off.
I ended up texting her the next day and asked if I could pick her up because I was confused from the night prior since we talked so normally after the breakup conversation. We ended up talking again, sharing some tears and what not, but I kind of understood why she felt she needed to be alone for a bit, even though she didn't know if we would get back together or not. She said that people do this all of the time and sometimes they come back stronger, but if it was meant to be then we'll get back together. I also told her about how much help I'm getting and how I'm setting a goal to take a vacation when I finish my masters in November. She was noticeably happy and asked a lot about how I was talking to my therapist about improving as a person and a (what I thought was soon to be) fiancé. She asked for all of the details about what we talked about in regards to our relationship and was very happy that I was putting that much effort in.
A couple days ago is when she deleted are photos together, but it came right after she posted an Instagram story while out with a friend who has no stability whatsoever. This friend has been on and off with the same guy (who treats her terribly) for as long as we were together. Not to mention, she sleeps around a ton. I can't help but feel like some of this breakup is being influenced by her friends (specifically this one) wanting her to be single like they are out of jealousy or something. Or, they want her to be flying somewhere once a month with them with no plans for the future. My girlfriend has cried to me in the past because she had been brought to places she didn't want to be because her friend wanted to go for a guy. That friend has also been binge drinking several times weekly for years. The following night, her two friends posted a story of her incredibly drunk in the back of a car with her feet out of the window I'm sure in hopes that I would see it. We're grown ass adults, I can't help but feel like that's just not a cool thing to do to your friend in general? I don't care how drunk you are, in fact I expected her to have a night out with her friends and let loose but posting someone else like that is just insanely stupid to me! To put the icing on the cake, one of my long time buddies from high school decided to go for one of her friends and I gave him substantial warnings about her. Within a year, that relationship was completely over with and she was on to the next.
Neither of us were ever the type one to have one-night stands or get around, so I'm not concerned about anything like that during the breakup. If it happens it happens, but I won't be sleeping with anyone until I've put in all of my effort to saving everything we've built. She's only ever been with me and her ex, while I've had a handful more partners before her - but I've experienced enough in my 26 years to know that there was is only one woman for me.
After all of this, I still couldn't shake the feeling that I felt I was being abandoned during the one time in my entire life I've opened up to anyone and really wanted some support. I'm also just having a hard time processing why it happened and how I can salvage it.
I've texted her once per week since the breaks & breakup happened just telling her that I loved her and wished we were going to XYZ events coming up. I also always say in the message that "You don't have to respond or even read it, I just want you to know". I'm having a hard time deciding if I should continue giving her that weekly text or not, but I really do want her to know how much I care and thought we were a dream team.
I just can't help but feel like we had "problems" that were very fixable and were very minor compared to 99% of couples. Her two best friends have had 5+ boyfriends each in the time that we were together and countless one-night stands. Every time they would break up, I'd hear a story from my girlfriend about how terribly they were treated by these guys and we talked about how lucky we are to have each other. There was no forms of jealousy or self-consciousness between us either, neither of us were bothered when we went out alone with our respective friend groups. I also never for a second worried when she travelled with her friends that she'd cheat or something.
This wraps in with why I can't process the breakup. Aside from the few things we argued about here and there (few times a year) it was an incredibly healthy relationship. I had a great relationship with her friends (despite some of the things I've said about them above) and would often times opt to go out drinking with her group over my group of buddies. I acknowledged my shortcomings as a boyfriend (ie. the affection) with my therapist and she's giving me some help with it. Am I crazy for thinking 1. that I can fix what's happened and 2. Part of this breakup might just be her wanting to see how much I actually care?
Anyway, I might add to this if I remember more important points. I just needed to get some of this off my chest. If you've made it this far into my story, thanks for reading!
TL;DR - Our relationship was very healthy, we never argued, the breakup came essentially because I wasn’t ready to travel despite the fact that I’m actively getting help
submitted by HercHuntsdirty to relationships [link] [comments]

2023.05.30 23:01 xxJul1Axx I don't know how to keep it together living in poverty with no support system

Hi, so I recently celebrated one year of HRT and that part's been great. The changes have been incredible, I never thought I'd like myself this much ever. The problems come up with just about everything else
Basically, despite saying they'd 'support' me my dad has become increasingly uncomfortable with me and has stopped helping me survive poverty I've been living in for years
It used to be that I'd just subsist off of $30 a week for the past few years while my dad would occasionally buy food sometimes for the house but I was so horribly depressed and !TW! suicidal !TW! at pretty much all times that I wasn't able to hold down any work or do anything besides school once the pandemic started to lift
Now I'm living with my girlfriend at her dad's place and I'm barely eating, I have no money for food or medication and my name change is still in progress, the next step taking anywhere from 6-8 weeks before I can even go to social security or the dmv
My entire family has grown uncomfortable with my very presence now, despite me being happier than ever, and I've never been more alone besides the relationship with my girlfriend who I love so so much but I don't know how to not lean too heavily on atm
I'm someone who has been through a lot of abuse before and have lived in poverty or close to it my entire life at 26
I would end up in a pysch ward if I had to apply with my legal name I have 0 affirmation outside of my girlfriend and have been discriminated against so many times, my therapist told me to go to a different therapist for better care and basically I have no money, barely enough food and am scraping by
I'm starting to think about sex work because I just don't have anywhere to turn to and my girlfriend is barely making enough for us to live and I feel awful having to depend on her just to survive since my dad no longer helps me at all
It's so hard to just get through the day and I feel like my entire family wants nothing to do with me when its all said and done
I'm just so fucking tired, my life has been all abuse and hell and poverty and dysphoria and depression and therapy and I just want to get something good going but honestly it just feels impossible
My girlfriend, the best woman I know who I think about marrying all the time is having to pull me along and I just don't know how much longer I can keep doing this shit
It feels like there's something so wrong with me and I don't know where to turn in America where without the place I'm staying at I'd be homeless
It feels impossible to move forward and I just never thought when I finally look so beautiful and am so comfortable in myself that THEN no one would want anything to do with me, it just hurts so fucking bad and I'm alone with it all and flat broke just trying to get through each day at a time
I don't know what the fuck to do at this point, it was supposed to be easier after the first year of HRT but now I'm totally alone with things
This is just the hardest I could imagine my life being without me breaking apart into a million pieces and I even have a home and transition went well for me and I'm white in America
Like it could be so so much worse for me but its still this bad and it literally sends me into dissociative episodes like when I was abused as a child with how stressful life is now, it is practically unmanageable
I just really needed to get this out and I have no idea how to fix where I'm at and it's so fucking hard
submitted by xxJul1Axx to MtF [link] [comments]

2023.05.30 22:58 SilverFox1509 I (36F) feel like my therapist is trying to get me to break up with my partner (45M)

My partner (45M) and I (36F) have been together for 11 years, married for 5. He is from North-America, I am from Europe, and we live in the UK away from friends and family, since 2018. We started seeing a couples therapist 5 years ago, who also became mine and his individual therapist. We started therapy to fix some real communication issues and toxic behaviours, and it turned out we each had some serious childhood issues to sort out, so we started going individually as well as together. We have both made real progress over the years. I have definitely become a lot more emotionally mature and he has his life more on track. The toxicity in the relationship has significantly improved, but communication remains quite difficult.
It seems as though my therapist strongly feels my partner and I are not compatible. She thinks I alone have kept the show that is this relationship on the road for the past 5 years, while my partner has not contributed enough financially and emotionally. Her reasoning is that I have low self esteem and that had I had higher self esteem, I would not have been in this relationship for as long as I did / am doing. She says she is working on building my self esteem, which is nice, but it feels like the only logical outcome of that work will be to break up with my partner. The thing is, I wanted to go to couples counselling in the first place because I really wanted to save this relationship. I don't know whether to trust her and break up, or whether she is the problem and I shouldn't listen and find another therapist. Every time I talk to her I think I would do the right thing by ending the relationship, but a day or 2 after therapy I think I should stay and fix our issues, and that I am actually the real issue. My partner tells me that he doesn't like seeing her as his therapist anymore either, because she often interrupts him while he speaks and she talks a lot, and because he does not share our therapist's view of relationships (one in which both people need to fulfil their potential outside of the relationship). He can also be angry towards her (not during the session, but after, in conversation with me), which (together with the fact that she does interrupt him quite often and does a lot of the speaking) makes me think she may not be very good at her job. There have also been little red flags on her end. For example, she talks quite openly about her own children and their relationships, she has called me out of the blue to ask me to run an errand for her when she couldn't leave her house, and has invited my husband and me over to watch a zoom lecture on a Saturday morning.
I don't know whom to trust. She is highly trained and has almost 40 years of experience. But I also heard a couples therapist being also a couple's individual therapist is not a good idea, which together with the little red flags above, makes me think perhaps she is wrong and I would make a mistake listening to an idiosyncratic old lady and end the relationship and I will regret it.
I hope I am being clear and fair in my portrayal of the situation. Is it likely that my therapist is wrong and I should find a new therapist?
TLDR I (36F) feel like my therapist is trying to get me to break up with my partner (45M) and I am afraid of making a mistake.
submitted by SilverFox1509 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]

2023.05.30 22:58 FreddyOaks Subjective Value Counts!

Subjective Value Counts!
I loved Pokémon so much as a kid, specifically the TCG. I have vivid memories of ripping base set, jungle and fossil packs. I even remember disliking the team rocket expansion when it came out because I thought it looked too new and didn’t like the art (what a sweet summer child).
We moved when I was 10, and I can remember as the movers were boxing up our belongings, I had been admiring all my best pulls. I had all the holographic cards I ever got laid out on a desk, just to look at, and that’s the last I ever saw them. I don’t know if the movers nabbed them or if they somehow got lost, but 20 years later I still rummage through boxes at my parents house in the off chance they show up.
After that, my collection of commons and uncommons that were left just served as a bitter reminder and I must have unceremoniously dealt them to a younger cousin or someone who still wanted them.
Last September, I bought a couple newer packs (I think vivid voltage and brilliant stars just for the Celebi and Arceus sleeve arts) as a nod to our youth for my buddy who was turning 30. We still play the console games but had both been long out of touch with the TCG. When he snapped me back what he pulled (and btw there were no hits) I realized that thrill of opening packs was still there.
Over the last few months I’ve been absolutely loving grabbing a pack here and there and just soaking up the experience. Even the smell of the fresh cards fills my heart up with joy. You want hits, but that jolt of excitement is what it’s all about.
The more I get back into it, the sadder I get that I don’t have my childhood collection anymore. Those cards are not only costly, but even if I bought some loose throwbacks, they wouldn’t be the same cards that brought me all that joy as a kid; they wouldn’t be mine.
But there’s a ray of hope to this story. Just now, I remembered a bookmark I’d been using years ago but had misplaced. I just went through all the books on my shelf looking for it, and there, wedged at the back of an almost-finished Alan Watts philosophy book, I found it. I have no idea how this card avoided the fate of my others. Maybe because Hitmonchan was (and still is) one of my favorites of all time and I kept it with me that day, or maybe I just missed it in the binder. But I can tell you, this being the very last card I have from that collection means more to me than any card out there.
PSA 10’s and chase value are fun to follow, but some cards are truly priceless, and those are the ones that make this enterprise so special to some of us.
submitted by FreddyOaks to PokemonTCG [link] [comments]

2023.05.30 22:56 Strict_Ad6931 Internet speed and Youtube problems in new house

I recently moved and just setup my computer in the new house, this time with an internet speed upgrade from Verizon. I had 300/300mb ethernet at my other house and now have 1gb/1gb ethernet at this house.
When I started using my computer and testing the speed I already noticed some issues.
  1. The internet speed on my directly plugged in PC is slower than my laptop/phone unplugged. I followed some tutorials and got it back up a bit but right now its 900/100mb on ookla speed test, but around 700/0.29 mbps on google's speed test
  2. Whenever I try to watch a Youtube video (my most consumed media) the quality is set to auto, and it picks the lowest quality setting. Not only that, but even with the lowest settings it constantly buffers which makes it impossible to actually watch a video. I've had to watch videos through my phone to try to find a solution but couldn't find anything. I assume this is because of the upload speed but idk.

What makes the 2nd issue so weird is that apps like Twitch are perfectly fine, and I've had no problems while playing games or anything. I've tried a lot of solutions for both problems, flushing dns, clearing cache, checking for updates, going into advanced ethernet settings and changing it to 1gb full duplex, and a few other things but nothing is rly working. I'm stumped.
Any ideas?
Edit: I actually have noticed a slight unusual slowness to some websites idk if that changes anything though
submitted by Strict_Ad6931 to techsupport [link] [comments]

2023.05.30 22:56 Available-Release712 Do you think that you could survive in the state of Lithia?

Lithia, in case you don't know, is an authoritarian, utilitarian and radical centrist military dictatorship established in the mid-2020s after a military coup. This country is based in Poland and Southern/Central Europe. It’s a place where:
Now, tell me, what do you think of these laws, and whether you would want to live in Lithia. Be free to ask questions in case you need me to clarify anything
submitted by Available-Release712 to worldbuilding [link] [comments]

2023.05.30 22:56 Calm-Image744 What’s the next step for me?

Hi, and thank you in advance for taking the time to read. Let me start by saying I swear I'm not having a mid-life crisis. Everything is fine I'm just super indecisive.
So, my son (8m), my fiance (24f) and I (32m) live together in a 3 bedroom townhouse owned by her father. This essentially means we're getting a brea on the rent (paying $1350 per month when it should be around $1900-$2100). Back when covid hit and I got laid off I decided to leave the union and quit iron-working. I found a government grant that paid for me to go to Hvac school for free.
I graduated and made $100k my first year and around $135k my second. Iron-working I was making about $70k-$75k so this was a huge bump.
The only amoun of "splurging" I've done is paid roughly $30k to build the 1963 Chevy II SS I've been dragging around with me since I was 16, and the upcmoing wedding in October costing around $20k (FIL is contributing $10k and MIL is contributing $5k) so only $5k out of pocket for me.
Now keep in mind, before switching to Hvac I had virtually no savings and was living paycheck to paycheck. Currently I have about $18k in a roth ira account because my new employer doesnt offer 401k and I had to move out of my previoud employers provider. I have about $28k between my checkings and savings, another $70k in cash, about $10k in silver, and another $5k between a robinhood, wealthfront and charles schwab investment account. At the moment im averaging about $3.5k per week in gross revenue.
Heres the issue.
I am bored beyond belief and I dont feel i make anywhere near the amount of money I want/need to in order to retire by 40 (soft goal). I’m super insecure about my financial portfolio. I am chock full of ideas; some of which I feel could easily be multi-million dollar companies if they aren't already. I am hyper motivated but feeling discouraged after three failed business attempts.
The issues is I have zero network. I grew up super poor and was not by any means a model citizen growing up and have worked very hard and spent hundreds of hours in therapy to sperate myself from not only that lifestyle but from the people I grew up with so I dont have many friends left or at least no "lifers" that I've known for 18+ years or whatever.
I just feel like im at a platue now and I cant figure out what to do to take the next step. I want to take the $130k per year and make it $260k per year. That's what I've done my entire life. My entire resume is level-up list where every new Job I've acquired I've made more money than the lasy or at least improved my quality of living substantially compared to the previous situation and I’m ready for that. I want to have more children with this girl that I love. I want to get big ol house with some land and chickens and more dogs and have toys to fuck around on. I refuse to be one of the antiwork people and cower the the climate of hyper capitalism. I’ll do whatever it takes to make it happens I’m just waiting for that one opportunity to come along. I even have an llc just sitting there doing nothing atm. At the very least I’d love some advice on how best to allocate the $70k cash I have and put that money to work.
Any advice or input is appreciated and I'd love to discuss anything further in the comments! Also my location is Lv, NV.
submitted by Calm-Image744 to Fire [link] [comments]

2023.05.30 22:52 Empty_Expression7315 Head of House (UK)

Hi folks, I’m a student in the UK and I’d really like to work in the pastoral side of education as a Head of House type role (no idea if school houses are a thing in the US)
I’m not sure how to get this type role? Is there a way without being a classroom teacher first? Could you tell me what it’s like to work in the pastoral side of education?
Let me know if my post doesn’t give enough information
submitted by Empty_Expression7315 to AskTeachers [link] [comments]

2023.05.30 22:52 metalmonkey12321 Water spraying from toilet supply line joints

The house was built in the late 70s in Roswell Georgia just north of Atlanta. It was updated in the late 90s, but not much has happened to the house since then.
In the past we've made repairs, including replacing the fill valves, flappers and even an o ring, on other toilets in the house. So we have some basic proficiency.
We had a slow drip from the hose that sends the water into the back of a toilet. So, my thought is this is an easy fix, just replace the supply line and I'm good.
Well, the first line I installed immediately started spraying water from the joints of the hose. Not the connection where I could tighten or loosen, but the manufactured connection between the hose and the screw on connector. So, I thought to myself, I bought a bad hose. No worries, Home Depot is around the corner. I exchange the house for another house. The same thing happens. I try another time, same result.
At this point, I'm upset, confused, and have 2 more toilets. So, I just ignore it for a while until I have the idea that bc of the plumber's tape I was using, or other reason, there was a clog between the hose and the tank, which was causing the water to have no where to go, which in turn caused it to spray from the hose joints. That does not appear to be the case.
I'm at a complete loss of ideas of what could be the issue. It seems like a really simple issue. Why can't I figure it out. Please help.
submitted by metalmonkey12321 to askaplumber [link] [comments]

2023.05.30 22:45 imp-sues My wellbutrin story, so that it never happens to someone else

Hello! This story is about a medical accident with wellbutrin that really affected my life and I want to share. It may contain triggering topics so please be warned. Stay safe

When I was 19 almost 20, I was about a year into my medication/mental health journey. I had found out I was bipolar, and had ADHD, and these were the main things I was treated for. I was taking ritalin, which for a bipolar person can be a risky choice as it causes mania, as well as lithium, to control my mania. Lithium was a little too good at its job though, and I quickly became only depressed, so, I got wellbutrin. And I liked it. It helped. I felt better. And happy. We kept trying out doses, going up slightly.

And then, I don't know.

My doctor was moving me from 150mg to 300mg, and then to 450 mg. Easy enough. But, he had given me two sets of pills to achieve this. 150s and 300s. I was supposed to use them to transition upwards. Every other day, taking 300 + 150. I don't know how, but something was lost in translation. I started taking two of the 300s, thinking that was what he told me to do. I was taking 600mg (too much) everyday, and then taking 60 (sometimes 90) mg of ritalin.
I felt crazy.
I was home for the summer, but terrified of the house. Couldnt leave my bedroom after my parents had gone to bed. I kept my toothbrush in my bedroom and locked my door each night. I would see shadow people out of the corner of my eye, walking in the dark. I saw their feet outside my door. I heard them whispering in the hall.
I would sit on the ground just take tweezers and pull out all my leg hair. I dont even know why. It became a terrible habit, and a strange way to soothe myself.
While doing this, I started to hear something. It was in my head, like I was going to sleep and thinking of random things. But the thoughts weren't mine. I wasn't thinking those words.
I could hear two men arguing, and then it was like they noticed me. They knew I was listening, and they didn't understand how.
Over the next few days of exploring this new ability I heard lots of conversations, even had them recount childhood memories to me. I would hear them scream and yell at me. I would feel them inside me trying to get my attention. I would close my eyes and see impressions of screaming faces, people trying to get me. Loud yelling. Then, it was like they would possess me, and it was like I wasn't there anymore.
I didn't understand what was happening. And it only got worse.
I went on a trip with my father and forgot my ritalin. Luckily, I had more than enough wellbutrin, which I knew treated ADHD. I started taking a little extra. I would crush it to make it work like instant ritalin. If 600mg wasn't hurting me, 1000mg certainly was.
my friends would call me to play minecraft and my fingers couldnt even operate the keys correctly. I was always shaking. The voices in my head were telling me they were worried for me, and possessed me to "help". I would walk around the beach house, terrified of any dark corner or unoccupied room. Even watching my father wash dishes made me nervous he was only pretending to come scare me (why would he do that?). I heard laughter, and whispers, and there weren't in my head. It was like a person was right on my shoulder, or like I was always in sleep paralysis. I would look in the mirror and swear my reflection was doing something I wasn't.
I went home, and told my doctors. They thought I had lost it from the ritalin and took me off it. Permanently. I was livid and so sad. It had helped me so much and now they said it was making me psychotic and they wouldnt put me on it. I told them I didnt even have any at the beach. No matter what I said, they wouldn't change their minds.
My emotions were so high. I would sob and sob and scream on the phone with them. And yet no one caught what was really happening.
I stayed with my boyfriend at the time while recovering from being cut off my meds, and I would swear he got in bed with me. I could feel the bed move. feel him breathing. and then I would hear the shower cut off- I was hallucinating him. I kept feeling someone grabbing the blankets, tugging at my feet. I would look and the shadow hallucination would hide from me as all the shadow people would. Fast. Uncatchable.
I kept hearing voices. Kept feeling like they were in my head. Kept feeling paranoid every second of the day. And kept taking those pills.
And then at some point, my doctor was confirming my medications.
"Are we at 300mg of wellbutrin? or 450, right?"
"Uh, 600 I think"
"I take 600 in the morning"
"I take two of the 300s. Right?"
"how long have you been doing this?"
Turns out, 600 was not the right answer. That amount can cause siezures. And I had been taking up to 1000 everyday. Everyday for over a month.
They stopped me taking it, but never brought back the ritalin. Said my mind had become fragile from the wellbutrin. I was in a full blown psychotic episode and now lost my adhd medication along with my sanity.
Without meds, my first semester that year was hard. I was tired all the time. Fell asleep at the wheel. I struggled to be an RA at college, and struggled to talk to people. My mind just felt cloudy 24/7. And it was like I couldn't think anymore, couldn't do math, or study. I was a physics major, and it seemed like that was going to be something undoable. Everything, all my memories and skills, has been scrambled by wellbutrin. I failed my classes. Almost got kicked out of being an RA.
It was like I couldn't do anything.
I have continued therapy, but within a year they diagnosed me with OSDD, and a year later full blown D.I.D (dissociative identity disorder). Of course, wellbutrin did not cause that, but I had no idea I had multiple personalities until the OD. Wellbutrin had taken down all the walls in my mind, and I had heard the personalities talking. And once the toothpaste was out of the tube, I couldn't put it back in: no matter how long I tried to ignore the voices. I had DID. I have DID.

I tell you all this for two reasons. For a warning: to READ YOUR INSTRUCTIONS and to never diy your doses. Make sure you write down what you need to take. And if something it wrong, go to the doctor fast and tell them whats happening. The longer, the worse damage your mind could get.
The other reason, is what I needed to hear that semester: you can get better.
It has been 2 years next month since the incident. And I have done what I thought I would never get to do. I am back on ritalin (but extended release now) and I even am back on a lose dose of wellbutrin, which I never thought I'd say. I completed my physics degree in 3 years, which is relatively uncommon, and something I would never dreamed I could do. I am alert. I am a quick thinker again. I am myself again. And I am happier than ever.
I still have D.I.D. And its something I am working on a lot. I also still have some brain scramble, not all the memories are right. But I am aware again, and what they expected to be permanent brain damage just turned into a rough memory. Now doctors have me talk to their medical students about what happened to me, and when I tell them and they gasp I am even able to laugh about it. Its become a silly story for doctors in training to learn from.
So if you had something like this happen, its gunna be okay. you can survive this. and you can get back to living your life. The fog will clear, you just have to wait for the sun.

Thank you for reading. this is a really hard incident I usually keep a secret, but it was the hardest time in my life. Please be safe with your wellbutrin, and remember, 600 is too. much. wellbutrin.
submitted by imp-sues to Wellbutrin_Bupropion [link] [comments]

2023.05.30 22:45 naughtymellow A need guidance. Time management when you have a 9-5 job? how to keep yourself up when not achieving your own goals? going through a type of existential crisis... (long post vent/advices?)

I'm having a hard time with everything except content creation, with managing everything, doing adjustments to my content, and staying inside "my niche" and promoting of course.
I have a 9-5 job, 6 pets to take care, a house that needs constant clean up, and i love playing videogames (that's my relaxing time). I just don't have the time to do it all.
I started my nsfw content creation because i wanted to explore my sexuality and just learn to love my body(which is working amazingly), it wasn't much about making tons of money out of it, but now i would like to make at least enough to drop my 9-5 job and make myself a small nail technician career as my main income so i can juggle both.
Before going in fully i did my research and i make a plan. I didn't realize at the moment but that plan would only work if i have a few subs that actually would be active, which is not the case... I also realize that there's more lurking guys than active ones, which is totally fine but then i need a new plan and subs.
The other thing is that I feel really lost about my online presence. I just don't know anymore what was supposed to be my niche, or how much i want to show, or if i was going for a persona instead of just being myself.
I just lost myself at some point and idk anymore what i want to do with myself and my content.
The only social media that i actually use is reddit and is not for any nsfw related just for wholesome nice pg13 stuff, and mixing it with my fansly/of is kinda making it no fun for me. I don't like tiktok, i don't understand twitter and ig is okay but I'm mostly afraid someone who knows me recognizes my clothes or my house, so I'm always second guessing what I'm posting.
I also realized in this past few weeks that i really don't know how to talk with guys. I'm no sure what is the etiquette in most cases, and been feeling that not having enough time to be present all the time is making me look pretty boring and lazy.
I have lots of plans, i know what i want to do with my page, and i even have small goals to keep me focus, but this last two weeks i got sick and depress and i got behind from my actual job and from my fansly/of work.
I thought about quitting because of the lack of time, but i really wanna make it work, i want to try everything before deciding to close my little shop.
I have a tiny tiny tiny "community" and to be honest that makes me really happy, but i feel disappointed of myself in not been able to exploit all my potential. I feel heartbroken that i lost 3 followers this month, this is huge for me because i only had 18.
Other issue for me is i don't have money to invest, my room is not pretty, i don't have nice clothes neither pretty lingerie. I was trying to post a theme bundle on sundays but i cant keep doing it cause i cant buy a new outfit each week, so that idea just died.
So i guess im going through a type of fansly babe existential crisis? type of thing...
What do you do when you feel completely lost but want to keep going? when you dont have time? or get depress or sick?
What i know is...
  1. i don't want to show my face.
  2. i would like to remove the blur of my content at 100 subs(but i guess that for me that's pretty unrealistic and i would end up just showing all)
  3. I don't have an amazing body but maybe i can compensated with my personality, i just need a way to show it.
  4. I want to have a small community of 100 subs (thats my "i made it" goal).
  5. be the type of content creator who has wholesome "friendships" with their subs.
  6. not lowering my price from 10.
  7. be a content creator who is respected inside the community and by her fans.
I think all of that is pretty unrealistic, and i would like to get there but i truly don't understand how. I feel like deaf ears and feel pretty stupid too cause there's already soo much info and good advices but i don't have the time to do all that is required to get there.
is just frustrating at this point... I know subs wont drop on me but i don't know how to deal with all.
I think im gonna make my OF free and just keep the pay stuff on fasnly but there's still the issue of time management and my little existential crisis.
Thanks anyone who read it...
submitted by naughtymellow to CreatorsAdvice [link] [comments]

2023.05.30 22:44 4ast4orward New to me house can't figure out sprinkler

I just purchased a foreclosure house with a built in sprinkler system front and back yard. I'm somewhat familiar with sprinklers and have the control panels figured out but whenever I set the turn on time for zones nothing happens, almost like there's a main water valve not turned on for them. I have scoured the yard trying to find it, so far the closest thing I've found is an inground irrigation station with 4 control valves from the control panel and no inline valve in sight. I did notice next too the control panel there is a water spiket and a 1/4" pvc pipe comming out of the ground. I'm wondering if that's the connection for water instead if plummed into my main water system? Anyone have any ideas?
submitted by 4ast4orward to Irrigation [link] [comments]

2023.05.30 22:44 mrsj010817 Replace gutters

Hi all, would anyone have an idea as to what the cost to replace the gutters on a straight forward house would be? When I say straight forward, the house has 14 meters on either side that would need replacing and it's straight, there are no complex angles on the house.
submitted by mrsj010817 to diynz [link] [comments]

2023.05.30 22:44 GailaMonster Is it me, or are FB marketplace sellers just delusional these days?

I'm moving into a house from years of apartment living (yay!) and excited to have gardening space. I figured I would check FB marketplace for used gardening supplies (planters, trellises, tomato cages, etc). before bothering to buy new. save a bit of money, support individuals rather than big business, keep used-but-still-useful gardening supplies out of landfill, etc.
I am not an aggressive haggler (outside of situations where it's expected - car dealerships, farmers' mkt near closing time) - If I see something way overpriced, I just move on, I don't message trying to argue the price down. NOR am I expecting to get a $200 italian terra cotta planter for free or $5 or whatever. but if your product is USED and I'm driving to pick it up, I expect it to be significantly cheaper than buying new - new items have return policies, I can pay with credit card and the protections that come with same, new items come with warranties, new items have all their useful life remaining, etc.
What I am seeing on FB marketplace is people selling used, bent tomato cages for MORE than they would cost new from tractor supply. I am seeing plastic crappy nursery pots (the ones that their plants came in) being offered for $1/pot, when a brand new THICKER plastic nursery planter is 58 cents bought from the fancy garden nursery. i am seeing visibly used trellis material, already dirty, in some cases damaged, selling for more than these products cost new delivered via amazon.
what is going on here? I was hoping to save a bit of money and do Mother Earth a kindness by buying used and keeping stuff out of a landfill...but i'm not about to pay more than new prices for your bent, rusty-ass tomato cage. who would?? where are these sellers getting the idea that a tomato cage that is 5 bucks brand new from home depot is suddenly worth 8-10 bucks once their dog has pissed on it, and some of its useful life has already been consumed?
am i out of touch? i'm not comparing pre-inflation prices, i'm looking at TODAY's prices for tomato cages new vs what FB marketplace clowns are offering... what is going on here?
submitted by GailaMonster to Frugal [link] [comments]

2023.05.30 22:43 throwaway01893852 Apartment fire.. given the “all clear” but we still have smoke in vents

We had an apartment fire last Thursday. It started two apartments down. 12 units are in the building. About 2 apartments were a total loss. 4-6 had smoke/fire damage. The rest were minimal or had no damage. We have no visible damage, but smoke blowing from our AC.
The morning of the fire, the property manager put everyone without a home into vacant units in the community or some found hotels through insurance. We stayed at my fiancés moms house. The restoration company put an air scrubber in our apartment, it has been running since Friday. Two days later, I asked the Maitenance manager we were given the “all clear” and if it were safe to live in our apartment. He said yes. We stayed in our apartment for two nights, and smelled smoke when our AC vents turned on every few minutes. I have complained to them multiple times now.
We feel unsafe to live there, have been waking up with headaches and sore throats. The fire inspector came today and they found no damage or faults to anything electrical.
Basically they’re saying we’re safe to live there, and have no damage. However we know it isn’t safe to be breathing in smoke 24/7. We are moving in about a month but have no solution in the meantime.
My fiancé filed an insurance claim earlier and we have to provide what is damaged, fire reports (we have not been given), and any other important info. We’re hoping to be approved on the claim so we can live in a hotel most of the time until we move to our new apartment.
We’ve been debating on breaking our lease, because it is not safe to live there, but we would have to pay basically two months rent and lose our deposit… OR firmly requesting them to cover our June rent while we (hopefully) live in a hotel.
Does anyone have ideas of what to do based off our ideas listed directly above?
We live in Michigan.
submitted by throwaway01893852 to legaladvice [link] [comments]

2023.05.30 22:42 experimenta_l My life is imploding, what do I do?

Hi! For context, I am a guy in my early 30's. I was an overachiever in my 20's, built a successful company, travelled the world, had the most incredible experiences, met a girl, bought a house and was earning a nice income and living a wonderful lifestyle. I hit 30 and suddenly things didn't feel right anymore. I'm now 32 and I've been ignoring it, hoping it will go away but the call is getting louder and I feel like I'm imploding and I feel so lonely in this and like nobody understands. What should I do and what is going on?
In more detail...
We've been together for 6 years. She was always less driven and less mature than me and has spent most of the relationship studying. She's about to finally graduate. She causes a lot of petty conflict in the relationship and sometimes it feels like it's low-level emotionally abusive. She's promised to go to therapy but it never really happens. I'm sad because I've grown a lot and I don't feel like she has and I'm pulled often into her trauma. I get a lot of attention from other girls and she will sometimes say things to make me doubt myself and it's starting to affect my confidence. But the idea of breaking up is devastating because I love her and I want this to work but I don't know how much longer I can carry her for.
I've lived in my city for most of my life. I bought a house and it's a little far out and I'm not loving it. I know I don't want to live in this city for my entire life but my company and staff are based here and my GF likes it. Uprooting is possible but it would mean replacing most of my team. I'm increasingly unhappy with where I'm living and not even sure I still want to live in the same country anymore. I hate the idea of spending my whole life in the same country but my GF doesn't ever want to leave.
My company is digital so I can work pretty much from anywhere. It's reasonably successful but if we relocated to a bigger economy, I believe it could be much bigger. I've been doing it a long time and know I don't want to do it forever, but I still have a lot more I want to do and achieve with it. I feel dissatisfied with the growth and don't feel particularly challenged anymore, although I am still passionate about it and want to see it/me grow. The pandemic hit us hard and lost quite a bit of momentum.
Overall I feel like things aren't right and like I'm suffocating. I'm so unhappy, and the idea of not changing things pains me. But the idea of changing things also pains me. I'm so confused and I wondered if anyone had any advice or had experienced anything similar? What would you do in my situation?
submitted by experimenta_l to Advice [link] [comments]

2023.05.30 22:40 sylvar When did department stores rent books?

I found a passing mention in a 1944 fanzine (En Garde 12, December 1944) of a department store in Buffalo, New York that rented books and could be persuaded to sell them:
Ken assured us it was only a couple blocks to the nearest bookstore. After walking several miles, we reached it. We stood looking in the window and drooling, but didn’t go in. It seems that Buffalo merchants have weird ideas about when stores should be opened. We kept trying one store after another. Finally we found one that had condescended to open, and picked up several good buys. Later we found a department store rental library. We talked them into parting with several choice items for a reasonable sum, a thing Ken apparently didn’t know could be done, and finally headed back to the house.
As for me, the “thing I didn’t know could be done” is renting books from a department store. I found no mention of it in John William Ferry’s A History of the Department Store (1960). Where and when was this service offered? How did it compare to borrowing from a public library, and was it a courtesy to their account-holding customers or was it a revenue-generating line of business?
submitted by sylvar to AskHistorians [link] [comments]